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On a warm, sunny day, Yelena Belova makes her way through the bustling streets of Manhattan. She's on her way to a small coffee shop called The Daily Grind, where she is meeting James "Bucky" Barnes, commonly known to conspiracy theorists as the ghostlike Winter Soldier. He much prefers to be called Bucky these days.
Though you wouldn't know it at first glance, these two are more alike than you'd think. Through their shared experiences as unwilling weapons of the Russian government, their histories were previously quite entwined.
Through a chance reunion, Yelena saw Bucky at her sister's old cabin a few weeks before. It didn't take long for them to arrange this chance to talk; an overdue conversation, to say the least.
As she quickly makes her way through the foot traffic surrounding her, she can't help but feel a little nervous to see Bucky again, though she insists on calling him James. She felt Bucky was too childish a nickname for someone so powerful, so dangerous. She looked up to him as a small child when he was placed in a position to protect the pre-teen Widows still in training. He was like the older brother she never had.
From a block away, Yelena spots James, sitting outside the coffee shop reading a newspaper. She feels strange, seeing him in such a mundane environment, thinking back on the days where the mundane felt impossible. She approaches him slowly from behind and speaks to him in Russian.
"<When did you learn how to read?>"
"<Longer ago than you think.>" He responds with a scoff.
He folds his paper, sets it on the table, and stands up to greet her. Before he can even get his arms open wide, Yelena wraps him in a big hug. Still not totally comfortable with affection, Barnes reluctantly hugs back, with a soft pat on her shoulder.
"I didn't realize we were a hugging family. You hugged me last time I saw you, too." He says with a chuckle.
Yelena gives him a squeeze before letting him go. Maybe he doesn't remember what happened, but she does. There were times when she was little where she would have a nightmare that put her in a cold sweat. Nightmares she's never been able to explain. On those nights, she would find James and ask him to hold her so she could get back to sleep. He seemed like the only adult that cared about her as a person, as opposed to a tool to be used by people she'd never know, never meet.
"We're a hugging family now. Get used to it, James. And really? You should feel honored. I don't go around hugging just anyone." She says with a calm sense of joy in her voice.
"You've changed a lot since you were little, Yelena. I'm glad." James says with a clear sense of pride.
"C'mon, let's grab our coffee so we can stop standing around like a couple jerks." He says, motioning inside.
As he holds the coffee shop door open for her, he can't help but think about the miracle it is that the two of them are standing here, in control of their minds and lives. He watched Yelena go through hell, starting all the way back when she was only eight years old, unable to help her due to his own overseers dictating much of his behavior. That she didn't lose her heart through it, that she seems genuinely happy about her life, makes him proud to know her.
Standing at the counter, they each place their orders. An iced mocha for Yelena, a hot black coffee for Bucky. Shortly afterwards, they have both drinks in hand and make their way back to the table outside.
Taking their respective seats, Yelena takes a sip from her straw and buzzes out a sound of small delight.
"Iced coffee." He says flatly.
"Yes? What of it?" She responds, confused why he would just say that.
"I don't get it. Coffee is supposed to be hot. If you're drinking cold coffee you screwed up. You didn't drink it fast enough and now it's cold. It's disgusting." He says incredulously.
"James. It is 94°F out. I am not sticking my face into a cup of boiling hot water."
"Fine. But it's your loss, because I've got delicious hot coffee and you don't."
"You're talking an awful lot without having taken even one sip of your hot coffee."
"Its gotta cool down a little first."
Yelena rasps out a big laugh.
"I missed you." She says, wiping a tear from her eye that slipped out when she was laughing.
"Ah I missed you too, kid. Course you're not a kid anymore, huh? A full on functional adult!"
"With a job!" Yelena says, beaming with pride.
"With a job! Wow. Yeah, you sure have changed." He says, blowing on his coffee.
"Oh and that makes me the only one? Look at you! The crew cut, not wearing crazy eye makeup. I almost would not know your face."
"C'mon, I know you never forget a face. You could see a person for a split second and remember exact details about them days later. You've got an incredible memory."
"Sometimes wish I didn't though." She says softly, sipping at her coffee, hoping the chocolatey concoction will wash away her feelings of sadness.
Bucky sees her retreating into herself, something he recognizes from when she was little. He knew changing the subject would be best for now. He wasn't sure how to deal with emotions still, but if she needs it he'll try. His therapist told him he needs to confront feelings more often, but that's not the confrontation he knows how to handle. Punching, shooting, stabbing… those were his ways to survive. Unfortunately, you can't punch depression and regret, much as he would love to try.
"Hey. I like your haircut. It really suits you." He says comfortingly, trying to change the subject as gently as possible.
"Oh! Um. Thank you." She says, taken off guard.
"You uh… didn't have that when I saw you a couple weeks ago. It's new?"
"Yeah! I had Kate cut it for me the day after I saw you." Yelena says, now with excitement showing off her girlfriend's handiwork.
"She did a helluva job. Really. So uh… Kate, huh?" He says, wary of discussing her relationship with the archer, but still curious.
"Yes. Kate Bishop." She says with hearts in her eyes.
"Look, I haven't gone steady with anyone since… well since we called it going steady. I'm pretty rusty when it comes to relationships. But… Why don't you tell me about her? She seems to make you pretty happy." Bucky says, wading into uncharted waters with this girl he hasn't really known since before she was old enough to drive.
With a glint in her eye, she takes a deep breath, sips her coffee, and sighs wistfully.
"James. She makes me happier than I ever imagined I could be. The way she looks at me… it makes me feel like… I don't know. Electricity?! I feel all of my senses go crazy when I'm with her. And I just feel… I feel safe with her. I trust her. And you know trust is rare in this world. At least for us." She says, with a soft smile on her lips.
Finally able to take a drink of his coffee, Bucky sips and then cradles his mug in his vibranium hand.
"So. How'd you meet her?" He says, starting to take another drink.
"Oh James, it was so romantic. It was Christmas time here in New York, we were on a rooftop under the moonlight, I was wearing this very cute black outfit, and I was there to kill her mentor."
Bucky spits some of his coffee back into the mug with a cough.
"Her uh… mentor? As in…?"
"Clint Barton, yes."
"As in your sister's best friend."
"Oh god. Not you too."
"Look, I don't know Clint that well, but when Steve helped me when I was on the run, Clint was there, too. He was even there for me before Nat was."
"Ugggggh. I didn't kill him, ok?! He's fine. It's fine. I was given bad information about him and I kind of kicked his ass about it. But Kate's the reason he's alive, more than anything." She says with exasperation.
Bucky looks down and sighs before taking a drink of coffee.
"Well. In any case, I'm glad you didn't kill him. I kinda owe him."
"Can we stop talking about him? Please?" Yelena says, desperate to not think about it anymore.
"Sure sure. What do you want to talk about?"
She picks up her cup and sloshes it around, ice bumping around against the sides, and takes a drink.
"How long did it take?" She asks, switching to a stern determination that she hadn't shown today thus far.
"How long did what take?"
"For you to feel normal. How long?"
"Ah… kid. Normal for us is gonna look real different compared to normal for other people." He says gently.
"So you still don't?"
"Haven't really had time. Lost 5 years right after I was able to get the gremlins out. I've got around 70 years worth of not normal still rattling around up here." He says, tapping his temple.
The realization sets in for Yelena at this point.
"So… you were gone too…"
"Yeah. I was in Wakanda during the first fight against Thanos."
"Did you see… Natasha there?" She says, choking back tears.
"Briefly before the fight. But we didn't really have time to talk. It all went to hell in a handbasket pretty quick." He says somberly.
Bucky hadn't really dealt with Natasha's loss on his own, but he can't even start to imagine how Yelena feels about losing her. Sure, almost all his friends are dead, but according to his birth certificate he was on the wrong side of 100. It was normal for him to lose those people by now. But for Yelena, who had already lost so much, to lose her sister so soon after being reunited with her? It hurts his chest to think about.
"Kid… I'm sorry. I wish I could've done something. You know I woulda gladly traded places with her if I could." He says, trying to comfort her.
"I know… I know you would have." She says, softly, as if speaking any louder would break the dam holding back her emotion.
Natasha is never far from Yelena's thoughts. More than anything, she just wishes she could talk to her one more time. It's not even that she has something specific to say to her. It's much more about just seeing her sister again, so she knows she's ok. So she knows she saved her life.
"Hey. Ummm. I have something to give you. If I had known you were at the cabin, I would have brought it then, but now works, too." He says, more gentle than you'd expect from a man with a metal arm.
"Really? What is it?" She says sucking in a sniffle.
He reaches into his bag, pulls out an envelope, and hands it over. On it, Yelena notices what is clearly her name, written in Natasha's handwriting. She wastes no time opening it, in which she finds a key and a short note that says "Grand Central, locker N25". She stifles tears again and looks up at Bucky.
"James… what did she tell you about this?"
"It was shortly after you two took down the Red Room and went your separate ways. She asked me to hold onto that in case anything happened to her. Wanted me to give it to you. She didn't tell me what's in the locker though. I'm guessing that's because it's just for you."
She turns over the envelope to look at her name again. She feels a connection to her sister, however slight, through this folded up piece of paper and small key.
"James… I can't thank you enough for this."
"It was nothing. I was just the messenger, kid." He says modestly.
"I'm sorry but…"
"You gotta go. I know. I wouldn't dream of delaying this any longer for you." He waves his hand in the air.
Yelena stands from her seat and Bucky responds in kind, meeting her with a hug.
"I promise. It won't be nearly as long till the next time we see each other." He whispers in their embrace.
"I'm going to hold you to that." She says in a tone that's somewhere between laughing and crying.
"<So long, Little Sister. See you soon.>"
"<Thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me. Maybe someday I'll remind you of what you've forgotten.>"
Yelena grabs her half-empty coffee cup and takes her leave. Bucky watches her go and gives a small laugh while shaking his head. She gives one look over her shoulder back at him, gives a small wave, and once he waves back, she walks briskly down the sidewalk on her way to Grand Central Station.
Since she was already in Manhattan, she didn't have to go far before she arrived at the busy transportation hub. On her way in, she sees the memorial plaque, dedicated to the Avengers for their efforts fending off the Chitauri invasion all those years ago. She takes a moment, kisses her hand, and presses it against Natasha's name on the wall.
Entering Grand Central is an experience that under other circumstances, Yelena would soak in, but today she has a singular focus. She has to find that locker. She has to know what her sister left her.
She pushes through the crowd to get to the lockers, where she finds locker N25. With a deep breath, she inserts the key and gives it a turn. As the door creaks open, she almost doesn't want to look, but she forces herself to.
There waiting for her are two items; a CD case containing a disc labeled 'Sestra', and her treasured green vest. She stores the disc in her handbag and immediately puts the vest on. With her thumbs stuck in the arm holes, she takes a deep breath, then shuts the locker door.
The time it takes to get back home seems to blur. Before she knows it, she's opening the door to the apartment she and Kate live in, greeted with joy by the three best parts of her life right now; Fanny, Lucky, and of course, Kate.
"Hey! You're back! How'd it go?" Kate says, jumping off the couch in excitement to see her walk in.
"I… need to use the DVD player." Yelena still feels hazy, nervous about what she's about to see on the disc Natasha left behind.
"Oh! Of course! I was just… watching… it's not important." Kate quickly changes the channel away from one of the reality shows that are her guilty pleasure.
Kneeling down in front of the TV, Yelena inserts the disc into the player and walks back to sit on the couch, where Kate takes her place at her side.
"So did you pick up a movie at the… wait Blockbuster doesn't exist anymore. What are we watching?"
"My sister left this for me in the event of her death." She says, somberly but matter of fact.
"Oh shit! Um. I should probably… let you watch it alone…" Kate nervously stammers out.
"No! I need you here. I need you with me. Please." She takes her eyes off the TV to focus on the archer's face.
Kate takes Yelena's hand, gives it a squeeze, and nods.
"If you want me here, I'm here."
"Thank you, Little Wing."
After a few minutes of staring at a blank TV screen, Kate chimes in.
"Um… do you want me to press play?"
"Yes. Please. I am too filled with nerves about it."
Kate picks up the remote and presses play, summoning the unmistakable face of Natasha Romanoff on the screen. Yelena sucks in air through her teeth, as if she is treating one of her numerous wounds, but this hurts more, somehow.
"Yelena. Sestra. If you are watching this, it means I'm dead. I wish it weren't that way, but that's how things go sometimes. I wanted to record this for you, because there was so much I didn't get to say to you before. And who knows? Maybe we've talked since I recorded this and I got to say everything to your face. But in case I didn't, here goes nothing." Natasha's voice may be coming from a set of speakers, but to Yelena's ear, it's like she was in the room with them.
"The first thing I want to say to you is… that I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have gone through so much at such a young age and it wasn't fair that you had to do that. You stayed strong, but more important than that is you kept your heart. Your pure heart, so full of love and excitement and wonder about the world around you. I don't know if you've made a place in your life for someone to love, but I hope you do. I never let anyone get close enough in that way to have a real connection and… it has been lonely, I won't lie. But if you do find someone to love, just make sure they really love you too. Don't just settle for the first guy you see. Or girl. Look, we never talked about that stuff so I don't know. I just hope you find someone that loves you for all that you are, not what you aren't." Yelena gives Kate's hand a squeeze, and Kate gives her a quiet smile in response.
"Next… I just want you to understand. No matter what I do, or why I'm gone, know this. Whatever I did was to make sure you're safe and healthy. You were my priority. You deserve a chance at a real life… a chance to reclaim the childhood… the future that was stolen from you. Don't bury yourself in bad feelings about me being gone at the expense of living that life. Promise me that, please. Don't waste your freedom wallowing in grief." Natasha's gaze practically pops off the screen, making this request impossible to ignore.
"Always, forever, I love and cherish you, sestra. Never forget that. And who knows. Maybe Dr. Strange will figure out a way to bring me back. He's a real weirdo like that." Yelena laughs at this, through the tears that have started to flow at this point.
"Be good, Yelena. And I don't mean that in the 'mom and dad are telling you to behave way'. I mean that in the 'your sister, the Avenger, says be good ' way. Fight against those twinges pushing you back to your old programming. Be your own person, who I know is incredible. The hero I know you are. The one little girls around the world will look up to. Ok… I think I've rambled long enough. Told you I'm not the one for inspiring speeches heh. Goodbye, Yelena. I love you."
"I love you too, Natasha. Thank you…" Yelena says through a cracking voice and saddened heart.
The screen goes blank and the silence is filled with Yelena softly crying as Kate consoles her, hand in hand, arm on shoulder.
"Lena? Are you ok?" Kate says, holding her close, rubbing her shoulder.
"I got to see her. I got to hear her voice. It was what I desperately wanted and I got it. Yes… I think I will be ok." She says as her voice calms and she is able to clear the tears from her eyes, though more still keep coming against her efforts.
Yelena takes a moment, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. She turns to look at her girlfriend, who is rubbing her back softly in support.
"I still miss her. I think I always will."
"I know you will, sweetheart. But that's ok, because that means she's still in your heart. And now, you can watch this anytime you want to hear her voice." Kate says, pulling Yelena in for a soft, consoling hug.
"Yeah… you're right."
"Do you want to talk about her?"
"Maybe later." Yelena says, leaving the hug with a kiss on Kate's cheek.
"Ok sweetie. Well then, is this a new vest? I haven't seen it before." Kate says, running a finger along the seam on the shoulder of the green vest.
Yelena looks down at her vest and lets out a small chuckle.
"Ha! No no… not new. Pretty old actually. I did not know if I'd ever see it again. But Natasha left it for me." She says, with a nostalgic smile on her face.
"It's a pretty sick vest." Kate says with a snap of her fingers for emphasis.
"Ahhh you like it! I knew you would. It is so sick, isn't it?! Check out all the pockets! Oh and there's this one? I added this one my…self." Her words trail off as she reaches into the pocket to find the pictures she and Natasha took in a photo booth all those years ago.
She smiles softly and lays her head on Kate's shoulder, holding up the picture for both of them to see. Yelena will always carry Natasha with her, because that's what sisters do.