Chapter Text
Emily Prentiss didn’t like the idea of commitment. The very idea of being tied down was suffocating, it caused her mouth to go dry and her palms to get sweaty. Morgan had joked once that she was like a coyote caught in a trap- she’d chew her own leg off rather than be trapped. Emily had to admit that he was completely right, that terror had ruined more than a few relationships in her life.
Her apartment was dark when she got home, the security system armed, and everything was clean, perfectly in place. From what she knew about domesticity, it meant nothing was clean, nothing in its place, and she was sure that it meant there would be sticky fingerprints everywhere. Emily was fine with a cat, thank you very much.
Emily pulled out her cellphone and quickly dialled JJ’s number, she promised to call as soon as she got home. As the phone rang, Emily quickly walked to her bedroom, depositing her ready bag on the bed before sitting down next to it.
“Hello?” JJ’s voice rang out on the other end of the phone. She sounded tired.
“Hey, I’m back.” Emily replied, she could hear JJ let out a deep sigh of relief. “Sorry it’s so late.”
“Em, it’s only eight thirty.” She could hear JJ’s quiet laughter. “Have you eaten?”
Emily’s stomach growled at the mere mention of food. “I had some pretzels on the plane...”
“Come over and I’ll make you something.” There was little room for argument, not that Emily ever would argue against it.
“I’ll be over in a bit,” Emily said, frowning a little. “I have to shower really bad.”
“The shower at my place isn’t broken.” JJ replied, Emily could almost hear the smirk on JJ’s face.
“What about Henry?” Emily sighed, frowning a little.
“It’s Will’s weekend, remember?”
Honestly, Emily didn’t remember. Sometimes she forgot that life for other people went on even when she was away. “... Well now I do.”
“Come over.” JJ said firmly. “It’s been over a week. I miss you.”
“I just need to repack my ready bag.” Emily replied, glancing at the bag beside her. “Just in case.”
“I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay.” Emily nodded. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
Emily hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed before standing up. She emptied her ready bag and tossed the dirty clothes into her hamper, where they probably wouldn’t be touched in a week. With a deep sigh, Emily went to her closet and started to grab her clothes, folding and refolding them before putting them neatly in her bag. It took longer to pack when she did that, but Emily knew that she would regret it if she didn’t do it properly.
Shouldering her ready bag, Emily stood up and walked into the kitchen, where she checked Sergio’s food and water. Both mostly full. With a small nod to herself, Emily headed toward the door, arming her security system and shutting off the lights before leaving the apartment. She locked her door, nodded a small greeting to one of her neighbors who was in the hall as well.
“Another case?” He asked as Emily walked by.
“No, Ted, but I am on my way somewhere important.” Emily smiled, taking a turn and entering the elevator.
The half hour drive to JJ’s house only took fifteen minutes, mostly due to the fact that Emily was very... creative with her driving. JJ would tell her that she was an insane driver, just the thought made Emily smile. God she’d missed JJ, even when the blonde was criticizing her driving skills.
Emily never just barged into JJ’s house, it was a respect thing. Or maybe it was ingrained in her from her childhood. She pounded on the door three times and called “FBI, open up,” grinning as she took a step back so that JJ could answer. There were some footsteps and muffled laughter before the blonde answered.
“Hi.” JJ smiled, leaning forward and kissing Emily swiftly on the lips.
“Hi.” Emily replied, letting JJ pull her inside. “How’s Henry?”
“He misses you.” JJ said, the corner of her mouth turning down. “Will was gonna let him stay with me this weekend since you were coming back, but I couldn’t do that to him.”
“You’re a good woman, Jennifer Jareau.” Emily chuckled, kissing JJ again, resting her hands on JJ’s waist and pulling her closer. “How was DC without me?”
“Lonely.” JJ said, not taking her eyes off of Emily’s face. “I missed you. We all did.”
“Well, that’s what happens when we’re in different units, you know that.”
“That doesn’t mean we like it.”
Emily laughed.
“Are you still hungry?” JJ asked after a moment of silence. “There’s chicken in the oven.”
“I’d rather take a shower first.” Emily grinned wickedly.
“And you want me to join you?”
“I thought that was already implied.”
“I don’t think I’m all that clean.” Emily sighed as she and JJ were getting dressed.
“Neither do I, but at least we had fun.” JJ replied, turning to look at Emily. “I never get used to this.” Her voice was soft, and if Emily weren’t so used to studying behavior, she would have missed it entirely.
“To what?” Emily frowned, looking over at JJ and frowning at her line of sight.
Emily looked at her abdomen, her frown deepening at the healed stab wound just above her navel. Though, if she were being honest, JJ could be looking at the tattoo that was covering her clover brand, or the three small scars over her right ribs from being far too close to an explosion, or even the gunshot scar on her left arm, there was even a chance that she was looking at some of the older scars from her time with JTF-12. She offered JJ a small smile before tossing on a tank top and walking over to the blonde.
“None of this is a big deal.” Emily said gesturing to her abdomen. “All healed beautifully, not a danger to my life. Promise.”
“I know that they’re healed.” JJ said calmly, placing a hand on Emily’s stomach, over the tank top. “I just don’t like seeing you with them.” A small, dry chuckle escaped her lips. “I sound like an idiot, don’t I?”
“No you don’t.” Emily shook her head and took JJ’s hand in her own, offering her a small, crooked smile. “I feel the same way.” She glanced at the shirt covering the scar on JJ’s stomach. Though she wasn’t sure if that was true, seeing that scar made Emily enraged. At herself, or the man who shot her, Emily wasn’t sure. Even if it had been years now. “It’s okay, and the people who did all this-” With her free hand, she gestured to her stomach. “-will never do this again.”
“That’s because they’re dead.” JJ muttered, looking at the ground.
“I know.” Emily nodded.
It was quiet for a while before Emily’s stomach growled loudly, causing both women to jump a little. They made eye contact before bursting out in laughter. Emily followed JJ into the kitchen, marvelling at how quickly they’d recovered. She was gently shoved into her seat, smiling a little and leaning up to kiss JJ’s lips quickly.
“Here.” JJ put a plate in front her. “You’ve been gone for over a week, so it might not be up to par with the Chinese takeout that you’re used to.”
“I can already feel my arteries unclogging.” Emily replied, taking a bite of her food. “Much better than takeout, Jayje.”
“Don’t lie to me, Agent Prentiss.” JJ laughed as she sat down.
“Like I’d ever lie to you.” Emily grinned, rolling her eyes. “You’d have my head on a stick.”
They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate, allowing Emily to glance around JJ’s house. It was clean, as clean as a house with a child can be, Henry’s artwork and family photos littered the walls, Emily idly noted that she was present in a few, and there were splashes of paint on the ceiling, it’d been there for years and Emily couldn’t figure out when it came from. JJ seemed to notice Emily looking around the house and cleared her throat, causing emily to snap her head back toward her girlfriend.
“It’s exactly the same as you left it, Em.” JJ paused before smiling. “Well, actually, there aren’t as many Transformers in the bathroom cabinet. If that counts.”
“I wasn’t checking for changes.” Emily chuckled, shaking her head. “Just comparing.”
“Comparing what?”
“Living spaces.”
“You’re not profiling my house, are you?” JJ’s smile widened. “Because I could learn a lot from your weird, female bachelor pad.”
“All I’d see is that a happy kid lives here.” Emily said, glancing around. “That his mother loves him enough to document his drawings and put his photos on the walls.”
“Shut up.” JJ rolled her eyes, her tone was light. She was quiet for a moment before frowning a little. “I got a call from my mom yesterday...”
“Is everything alright?” Emily’s face fell, her heart suddenly pounding as her years with the FBI made her jump to the worst possible conclusion.
“She’s fine.” JJ sighed, taking Emily’s hand in her own. “She just wanted to remind me that Christmas was coming up.”
Emily’s brow furrowed. “I know I’ve been gone for a while, but it’s not even the tenth yet...”
“Yeah, I know.” JJ nodded. “But she’s a planner, it’s just something she does. You learn to deal with it.” JJ shrugged before continuing. “Anyway, since I have Henry for Christmas, she... okay, we were wondering if...?”
“If I’d join the Jareaus for Christmas?” Emily asked, her heart was pounding now and her hands were suddenly getting sweaty.
She knew this day would come, they’d been dating for over a year. In fact, it was a miracle that JJ hadn’t asked her sooner. The irrational part of her, the part that was terrified of commitment, kept saying that it was time to run, time to head for the hills and request a transfer to a different department. On the west coast with no cell service, or a deserted island with only tigers to keep her company. Maybe she should take the job that Clyde had offered her with Interpol, leave the country, change her number, identity. A new name couldn’t hurt.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” JJ said quietly. “I told her that you might have work, or that your mom might want you to spend the holidays with her. She’d understand if you couldn’t come.”
Emily was quiet. JJ’s mother would understand, but would JJ? “I’ll have to make a call to my mother to see if she’s gonna even be in the country this Christmas...” She said, her voice unusually high as she spoke. The cracking sounded awful as well. Emily cleared her throat before continuing. “I can’t make any promises, but...”
“Em, you’re sweating and shaking.” JJ said with a frown. “And your voice is cracking like a thirteen year old boy’s.” She took in a deep breath. “I’ve known you for years, Em. I knew how you felt about commitment before we even started dating, it’s not a big-”
“You’re lying.” Emily cut JJ off, pulling her hand away and wiping it on her pants. “That’s too harsh... You’re putting your feelings aside so you can try to placate me. If you want me there, then I’ll go.”
“I don’t want you there if that’s not what you want.” JJ replied, meeting Emily’s gaze. “I’m not going to make you miserable when you’d rather be sitting alone in your apartment, eating cereal with scotch instead of milk and watching ‘Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town’ on cable.”
“I only ever did that once.” Emily sighed, earning a small chuckle from JJ despite herself. “And when you say it like that, it sounds sad.”
“It is very sad,” JJ said, smiling a little. “We drew up a schedule for who got you on what holiday.”
“That’s why Morgan tried to get me to go to Chicago for Thanksgiving two years ago?”
“Yes.” JJ nodded, smiling a little. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I’m not going to push you and have you hate me for it later.”
Emily nodded once and glanced around before standing up. “I think... that I need to go home.”
“Text me when you get there, so I know you made it safe.” JJ replied, watching as Emily tossed on her shoes and jacket.
“Okay.”
The drive home from JJ’s was longer, maybe because she was actually eager to see JJ. A feeling of dread formed a pit in her stomach as she took a turn, Emily had made a habit of never taking the same route twice in a row. Sometimes she felt that old wave of paranoia back when she knew she was being watched. No one knew about that. Except JJ, who never judged her for it.
She texted JJ immediately after disarming the security system, smiling at the immediate response. It felt strange to be alone, especially when there was someone out there who would be more than happy to spend time with her. To do anything she wanted, even if what she wanted to do was absolutely nothing.
Emily sat on the sofa and sighed, leaning back and glaring at the TV, which was off. Sergio appeared out of nowhere and hopped up onto her lap, rubbing his face on her neck and putting all of his weight on her chest. A sigh escaped Emily’s lips before Sergio found the need to nip her ear gently. She didn’t care if they were called “love bites,” they sucked and she hated them.
“Serge, please.” Emily groaned, scratching behind his ears before her phone went off. “Agent Prentiss.” Emily answered, her tone suddenly serious.
“Wow, Em.” Garcia laughed on the other end of the phone. “Were you expecting someone important?”
“Hello, Garcia.” Emily smiled wryly. “What do you need?”
“Oh, nothing special.” Garcia’s tone changed suddenly, causing Emily’s brow to furrow. “Just called my best friend to see how she and her boo were doing after an extended case, only to find out that they weren’t doing very well and that my girl is completely and utterly upset. And when my friend is upset, I need to find out who hurt her and get revenge, even if the person I’m getting revenge on is my other friend. So care to explain before I destroy your credit score and find more embarrassing pics of you from high school?”
“There’s a lot to hate about you, Garcia.” Emily sighed, sitting up and patting Sergio’s tummy, prompting him to run along.
“And even more to love.” Garcia replied, there was no humor in her tone. “Spill before I get mad.”
“Her mom wants me to spend Christmas with her.” Emily said quietly, saying it out loud made it sound ridiculous. “Garcia, I can’t spend Christmas with JJ’s mom.”
“Seriously? That’s it?” There was a deep sigh on the other end of the phone. “You’re lucky that I am currently very comfortable on my couch right now because if I weren’t, I’d be at your house in a minute to slap you right in the mouth.”
“Garcia, I-”
“I know that you’re the cool and stoic bachelorette who has all the men and women falling head over heels for you, giving you the pick of the litter-”
“-Garcia-”
“-I know that with those legs, you could have anyone. But you didn’t pick anyone, you picked my best friend!
“-Garcia, please just-”
“You picked someone who is looking for a relationship, and now you have her thinking that your stupid fear of commitment is her fault!”
“Garcia, listen to-”
“No, you listen to me, Emily Prentiss. You are going to call Jennifer Jareau and apologize for being a cowardly piece of human excrement before-”
“Penelope!” Emily shouted, now she was irritated. Her hands were shaking, and she was sure that she’d end up throwing her phone across the room if she weren’t careful. “Shut up for a minute and let me explain, okay?!”
Garcia was quiet for a moment, composing herself. “The calling you a piece of shit was uncalled for, I’m sorry. Please explain yourself.”
“Thank you.” Emily said, unconsciously touching the tattoo on her chest. “And I forgive you for calling me a piece of shit.” She took in a deep breath. “I’m not good at dating, Garcia.”
“I know that. I’m friends with JJ, remember?”
Emily let out a dry chuckle. “I know,” Emily paused. “This is the longest relationship that I’ve been in since...”
“Since who?” Garcia sounded curious, almost too curious.
“Since I was undercover with Interpol.”
“... Are you talking about Doyle?”
“Unfortunately.” Emily sighed, listening as Garcia took in a deep breath. “And we all know how well that ended.”
“How it possible that the longest relationship you’ve ever had was completely fake ended with an arrest and the fake killing of a child?”
“I have a set of rules that I follow, and-”
“You broke them when you started dating JJ, right?”
“For the most part.”
“Have you told her?”
“JJ knows about the rules.”
“Why are you so scared to go visit with JJ’s mom?”
“Meeting the family makes it real.” Emily replied calmly. “Garcia, relationships have two endings, marriage and break ups. Even then, half the marriages break up! Do you know what the odds of staying together and not hurting anyone are?”
“So you’re hurting her because you don’t want to hurt her?”
“... You should interrogate unsubs.” Emily laughed dryly.
“I’m waiting.”
“I don’t want to get her hopes up.”
“Look, JJ has such low expectations for you that it’s almost sick.” Garcia sighed, sounding annoyed. “She says things like ‘Em stayed the night this weekend’ and ‘she offered to pick Henry up from daycare today’ that’s just normal one year relationship stuff.” Garcia paused. “You’re in a grown up relationship now, sweetie. One that isn’t undercover, and hopefully it won’t end with you being stabbed with a table leg and JJ being shot in the neck by a British sociopath.”
“I’m hoping that those were all one time things.” Emily said with a frown.
“You’re in different units now, so you won’t see each other as often.” Garcia ignored Emily’s statement. “And that means that you have to cherish your time together and not be a baby about holidays.”
“Thanks, Garcia.” Emily said, frowning when she heard Sergio knock something over. “What do you recommend I do?”
“I recommend that you call JJ, apologize for being a jerk, then tell her that you’ll be happy to spend the holidays with her family because you love her and because Sandy makes awesome cookies that you want to bring home to me.” Garcia sighed. “And I also recommend taking a deep breath because you’re about to take the plunge into some serious relationship waters. If you’re happy with JJ, the relationship is going to mature and you’re gonna need to mature with it.”
Emily nodded and stood up. “You’re right, Garcia.” She mumbled, walking toward the front door and throwing on her jacket before arming the security system. “I’ll talk to you later...”
“Of course you will, you’re gonna need to tell me exactly what happened.”
“Yeah.” Emily turned off the lights and grabbed her keys before leaving the apartment. She almost forgot to lock the door. Almost. “I will.”
“Go get your girl, Agent Prentiss.” Garcia smiled before hanging up.
Emily was incredibly creative with her driving, topping her usual driving record by making it to JJ’s house in eleven and a half minutes. She knocked on the door politely, this was not the time to pound on it and shout. There was no muffled laughter accompanying the footsteps as JJ came to answer the door. No smile on JJ’s face as she opened it.
“Hi.” JJ didn’t kiss her.
“Hi.” Emily wasn’t pulled into the house. “Can I come in?”
JJ nodded and stepped to the side, allowing Emily to enter. “What’s up?”
“Garcia called.” Emily said, looking around the home and frowning a little. Her apartment wasn’t a home, JJ’s house was. “She told me that I was a human piece of excrement and wanted to slap me in the mouth.”
JJ chuckled. “I didn’t tattle, you know.”
“I know.” Emily nodded, closing the front door. “She also told me to call you, but this needed to be done in person.” A look of horror formed on JJ’s face and Emily backpedaled quickly. “That sounded a lot like the beginning to a break up talk, but it’s not. I swear!”
Relief washed over JJ’s features as she let out a breath. “Okay.”
“I just wanted to know what kind of stuff your mom likes to get as gifts.” Emily said, smiling at the surprised look on JJ’s face. “I can’t just show up at your mom’s house empty handed, can I?”
“You’re gonna come to Christmas?” JJ asked, a smile forming.
“If I’m in town.” Emily replied, she let out a nervous sigh. “I can’t make any promises when it comes to that.”
Instead of answering, JJ chose to grip the front of Emily’s jacket and tug her into a deep kiss. Emily stood frozen for a moment before gripping JJ’s waist and pulling her closer. One of JJ’s hands moved to the back of Emily’s neck, pulling her in deeper while the other cupped her cheek.
“You don’t have to do this all at once.” JJ murmured when she pulled away to catch her breath. “You know that right?”
Emily rested her forehead against JJ’s, making eye contact. “I want to be with you, JJ.” She said, noticing the small smile that graced JJ’s features. “And relationships mature over time, so I need to mature too.”
“And Garcia calling you a piece of shit led you to this conclusion?” JJ chuckled, leaning up and capturing Emily’s lips briefly.
“She did more than just that, but essentially yes.” Emily nodded. “She also said that your mom makes amazing cookies, and you know that I need to see something to believe it.”
“Well then you will be pleasantly surprised because my mom makes the best cookies in the universe.”