Work Text:
"Explosive Chat"
NRizavi added BlackPaladin, RedPaladin, BluePaladin, GreenPaladin, YellowPaladin, Princess, BladeLeader, BladeLeader2, Medic, DadSpy, MomSpy, JGriffin, RKinkade, ILeifdottir, RebelTechie, and MFEHandler to the chat Explosions.
NRizavi: I'm waiting
BluePaladin: Waiting for what?
NRizavi: Read the chat name
GreenPaladin: Explosions? I'm interested
BlackPaladin: Not real explosions, right?
NRizavi: I don't know. With Keith and James in the same chat, anything is possible
BlackPaladin: Keith's more mature and won't fight unprovoked
RedPaladin: You don't know me that well, Shiro. Griffin is an asshole
JGriffin: Better an asshole than a Galra
BladeLeader: I wish to have a...talk with the leader of the MFEs
BladeLeader2: *growls* I wish to throw him out an airlock
Medic: We are not in space. Throwing him out an airlock won't do any good
DadSpy: What about out a window or off the roof?
MomSpy: We could take him into space and Antok could throw him out the airlock then
RedPaladin: He has always wanted to ride in one of the lions. We could hang him from one of their fangs
MFEHandler: You should not be planning a murder
RedPaladin: Who's talking about murder? He'd survive...I think
BluePaladin: V, you're the handler for the MFEs. Handle them!
RedPaladin: Especially Griffin
JGriffin: I don't need handling
ILeifdottir: Your actions prove otherwise
JGriffin: Ina! How could you say that?!
RedPaladin: Ha! Even your team doesn't stand behind you unlike the Paladins
YellowPaladin: It was a learning experience
Princess: Hunk is right. The team had to learn how to work together
GreenPaladin: No thanks to you, Princess
Princess: You all learned to work together thanks to me!
BluePaladin: It was because Coran handcuffed us together and you slung food goo at Pidge for her sass
Princess: *sniff* It worked
BlackPaladin: Yes. Yes, it did.
NRizavi: *munching popcorn*
RebelTechie: You're enjoying this a bit too much
NRizavi: I thrive on this chaos, which is why I made this group chat
RKinkade: Unfortunately, this is true
NRizavi: Says the guy who did a documentary on yeast
RKinkade: It wasn't on yeast. It was on fermentation
NRizavi: I don't care. It was boring
YellowPaladin: That doesn't sound boring. I'd have liked to see it
RKinkade: I still have it. I can show it to you sometime
YellowPaladin: Awesome!
BluePaladin: This is boring. Can we go back to the Blades threatening Griffin?
GreenPaladin: Speaking of, where are they? They haven't said anything
BlackPaladin: Griffin, are you there?
BlackPaladin: @JGriffin
MFEHandler: @JGriffin
BlackPaladin: No murder, @BladeLeader, @BladeLeader2, @Medic, @DadSpy, @MomSpy
BluePaladin: Can I get an 'F' in the chat for the former leader of the MFEs?
GreenPaladin: F
YellowPaladin: F
Princess: F
RedPaladin: I guess he can have it. F
ILeifdottir: F
RKinkade: F
NRizavi: F
RebelTechie: F
MFEHandler: F
MomSpy: He is not dead
BladeLeader: We taught him a lesson on respecting other races
BlackPaladin: ...
Princess: I am glad I did not have to learn that lesson in that way
RedPaladin: It still hurt that you didn't acknowledge my part in the plan to take down Zarkon's ship
BladeLeader: What?
BladeLeader2: What?
Medic: What?
DadSpy: What?
MomSpy: What?
Princess: I had thought Keith had lied about knowing his heritage. I had realized just before Keith boarded the ship that he had done no such thing
RedPaladin: That wasn't what you apologized for. You apologized for acting like you didn't want a Galra to be a Paladin, especially the Red Paladin
BlackPaladin: ...
GreenPaladin: ...
YellowPaladin: ...
BluePaladin: ...
BluePaladin: Well, this is awkward
*BluePaladin changed their name to Sharpshooter*
*Sharpshooter changed RedPaladin's name to Samurai*
*MomSpy changed Samurai's name to LittleBlade*
LittleBlade: Mom, why?
MomSpy: Because it fits.
DadSpy: You're a Blade and we take care of our own
BladeLeader: Princess, do we have to have a talk?
Princess: No! I love Keith!
LittleBlade: Princess, I love you like a sister. No offense, but I'm gay
Princess: That's fine. I didn't mean it that way!
Sharpshooter: Wait. You're gay?
LittleBlade: Yeah
Sharpshooter: And here I thought I didn't even have a chance
LittleBlade: Hang on. You had a crush on me?
Sharpshooter: ...Since the Garrison
LittleBlade: I didn't know. The only thing I got back at the Garrison was from someone named Tailor
GreenPaladin: Lmao
YellowPaladin: Lmao
LittleBlade: What am I missing?
Sharpshooter: I called myself The Tailor back at the Garrison
LittleBlade: What? Why?
Sharpshooter: Because I thought it was cool
LittleBlade: You're a dork
BlackPaladin: Pot meet kettle
RebelTechie: You have no room to speak, Shiro. I know of your love of anime
BlackPaladin: And you don't?
RebelTechie: Of course I do! I have the power of God and anime on my side!
GreenPaladin: I'm tempted to disown you
RebelTechie: I am not scared of you
YellowPaladin: I would be if I were you, Matt
RebelTechie: What's she going to do? Bite my ankles
GreenPaladin: I'll bust your kneecaps!
Sharpshooter: I'm surprised you didn't threaten to electrocute him
GreenPaladin: I can do both
BladeLeader2: I like the Green Paladin. She's a feisty kit
BladeLeader: 'Tok, are you trying to adopt the Green Paladin?
BladeLeader2: Why do you say that like it's a bad thing, 'Van? She is younger than our kit!
BladeLeader: What?!
LittleBlade: Lance, Pidge, and Hunk are younger than me and Shiro's only a little bit older than me
MomSpy: You are all just kits
Medic: Thace
DadSpy: Oh no
Medic: They are all our kits
DadSpy: Very well, 'Laz
BlackPaladin: Now, hold on a moment
Medic: Shh, kit
LittleBlade: Can we get back to the topic of Lance's crush on me?
Sharpshooter: What does it matter? You didn't even remember me when we rescued Shiro
LittleBlade: Actually, I did. I had a Gay Panic (TM) moment
Sharpshooter: What? Why?
LittleBlade: You had such a glow-up that I panicked
GreenPaladin: Sounds like what Lance went through during the Bonding Moment (TM)
LittleBlade: What are you talking about, Pidge? Lance said he didn't remember it
Sharpshooter: I actually do remember but had a Bi Panic (TM) moment. I'm sorry that I did that
LittleBlade: So, are you saying you want to go on a date?
Sharpshooter: I am if you don't mind
LittleBlade: I wouldn't have brought it up if I was against it
NRizavi: Ugh. All this beginning relationship stuff is boring...unless you guys are going to start making out
MomSpy: We are not talking about my kit mating with anyone
JGriffin: Mating?!
RKinkade: Mating?!
ILeifdottir: Mating?
NRizavi: Ooo. What's the difference between Galra relations and human relations?
LittleBlade: We are not having this conversation
Fin