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“I think I’m depressed,” George tells Dream and Sapnap late one night in a Discord call.
Dream has been almost falling asleep for the last hour, but George’s sudden change in mood wakes him back up. He sits up in his chair. “What do you mean?”
George sighs, “I don’t know, I don’t do anything, I don’t go anywhere, I don’t see anyone.”
Dream frowns. “That makes sense.”
“It’s just so lonely. I call you guys like 20 hours a day, but I don’t have any motivation to get anything done cause what’s the point? Who cares? Not like there’s anything going on the next day or the next or the next that could prevent me from editing if I suddenly felt like I needed to.
“There’s nothing I have to look forward to, and nothing that keeps me here, I just don’t want to do anything; it’s too much work. I haven’t streamed in weeks, I don’t shower, I barely sleep, if I get any at all, I eat junk food or nothing at all. The last time I went this long without seeing my family was in uni.
“I feel miserable all the time, I get headaches cause I’m staring at my phone or the computer all day, but I still can’t do anything and-” George breathes in and Dream breathes out.
“Hey, hey,” Dream tries to soothe, cutting him off. “You’re okay, calm down, take a second to breathe and chill, you’re fine, it’s gonna be okay.”
George lets out an audible cry, albeit a small one. “I just want to go to the US.”
Dream’s heart breaks. The last three years of trying to get George to Florida have been rough on all of them, particularly for George, but he didn’t realize it was this bad.
His own anxiety surrounding the existence of people outside of their Discord calls tells Dream that things have to change before anyone is back to normal. He can’t handle the thought of even picking George up at the airport when he does eventually get his Visa, even if the face reveal directly follows.
“I know, George,” he comforts. Sapnap is still on the call, but hasn’t said anything. He’s weirdly quiet. Dream wonders if he’s fallen asleep. “I want you here more than you can imagine.”
“Don’t say things like that,” George tries to laugh, but Dream can hear the tears. “Don’t say that, I know, but I don’t want to hear it.”
“What,” Dream teases, “are you gonna cry?”
“Shut up.”
“You know I’d do anything to get you here faster.”
“Stop.”
“I would! I know it sucks that every date we were told has been exceeded, and that ‘soon’ can’t come soon enough. I know you’re lonely and it sucks to be told to wait, but there’s nothing we can do.”
“I know that.” George toes the edge of anger, he’s frustrated and he’s tired of being told to just sit tight, as if he can do anything else. Throwing a fit won’t get him anywhere, except worse off mentally.
“If it gets denied, I’ll marry you.” Dream promises.
“Not funny or helpful.”
“I’m not trying to be funny, I’m being serious.”
“You’re not going to marry me.”
“Not if you say no, but I will if you let me.”
“We’ve joked about marriage fraud too many times, there’s no way they’ll believe it.”
“It’s a backup plan, George, there’s reasons why it’s not plan A.”
“And reasons why it’s illegal.”
“It’s easy to prove if you’ll fall in love with me.”
“Okay stop.”
Sapnap’s Discord icon lights up and both Dream and George take notice.
“Nick?” Dream asks. He hums in response.
“Did you fall asleep?” George whispers, trying to get Dream to play along.
“You missed a big conversation if you did,” Dream whispers really loudly. George giggles.
“Two of them.”
“What?” Sapnap asks.
“George and I are getting married,” Dream offers, “if his Visa gets denied.”
Sapnap just sounds confused. “For real?”
“Maybe,” George corrects, “but that’s not the most important conversation.”
“Yeah,” Dream agrees, “George is depressed and lonely and we need to do something about it.”
The call falls silent. Dream has said what he needed to, George is waiting for Sapnap’s response, and Sapnap can’t tell if they’re joking or not.
“What do you mean?”
Dream coughs, “George do you want to explain again or should I?”
“I’ll do it,” George says.
“Go for it.”
“Basically I don’t see anyone or do anything and I’m just sitting here waiting, I’m lonely as shit and it’s fucking with my head. I just don’t have any motivation to do anything but sit around and talk to you guys.”
“So you think you’re depressed?” Sapnap clarifies.
“I don’t shower, I eat like shit, I don’t go outside, I don’t get anything productive done. Yeah, I’m depressed.”
“Did having Alex there help?”
“For a while, I guess. But I started dreading when he was going to leave from the day he got there and it only got worse. I had fun though, yeah.”
“What if I went to the UK?”
George sits up in his seat. “Really?”
“Yeah, why not? I can't just go right now, I’d have to sort some stuff out, but I could go pretty soon, within the next month, probably.”
Dream smiles. “That sounds like a great idea!”
“Oh,” George’s mood audibly drops. “I kind of assumed you didn’t want to come.”
Dream takes a big breath in and lets the air fill his lungs, expanding his chest as he looks up at the ceiling. He debates. “It’s not that I don’t want to go, George,” he’s sincere, working through his thoughts as he talks. “I just-”
“Face reveal stuff.” George cuts him off like he knows, “I get it.”
“No, kind of. I think Nick going to see you is a really good idea while you still don’t have your Visa, but let’s try and stick to the plan, you know? I don’t want to have to leave you.
“The face reveal is a secondary thing, but I don’t want you to think about that while you guys are together,” he switches to addressing them both, “it’ll be a lot of fun! You can stream and hang out and plan all kinds of vlogs. Don’t let me not being there stop you from having fun, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Promise?” Dream asks.
“Promise,” George replies.
“Nick?”
“Promise.”