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Winter has been associated with death for centuries. With the cold and devastating storms along with how the snow and ice kills most plants it surrounds, it’s no surprise that’s how most people feel.
The winter kills the flowers and the plants and all humans see as beautiful - including each other. They lack food, and the cold consumes them and they become trapped in their homes for possible days or weeks on end. It kills animals and bugs and blocks out the sun and everyone hates it.
Well, not everyone, but a lot of people hate it.
Rou doesn’t relate to that sentiment.
He loves winter, not because all the bugs are gone or because he can go out with his family and play in the snow or because on the snowiest of days Monarch Eret will call off school. No, he loves it for all the reasons most people hate it. He doesn’t associate it with death.
When the cold comes, the ground is too solid to dig graves. When the snow comes, it covers everything from head to toe and he doesn’t have to acknowledge the things underneath it. The monsters and dangerous creatures have a harder time getting through the snow, and sometimes even freeze themselves.
The flowers outside all die and that means he doesn’t have to stare at them and be reminded of people or moments or things that he loved that are long gone.
He can avoid the inside flowers, but not the outside ones when they’re striking with their invasion of life. When they surround him wherever he goes he can’t ignore them. He can’t ignore the bright colors or the smells or the memories they bring back.
Instead, because of this, he hates spring.
During spring, people make more of an effort to go to the graveyard. During spring, flowers sprout everywhere with nowhere to hide from them. During spring, the grave of his father is uncovered and there for everyone to see.
Everyone doesn’t deserve to see it. They didn’t help him. They didn’t save him.
Rou was too young to even understand what was going on, when it happened. He just knew he was going to be moving in with uncle Tubbo and unty Ranboo.
Now, Rou looks out at the Esempi from the preserved land of his dead father and frowns while everyone else laughs and smiles. The spring celebration is soon - it’s just a festival, but for some reason Rou doesn’t know, they don’t like calling it that. For the new and old members of the community, it’s a fun time and a happy celebration. After all, it represents the defeat of Dream, the man who everyone knows did terrible things all around their homeland for years.
Though, what most people don’t acknowledge despite their supposed care for his father, is that it is also the day his father, TommyInnit, died for the final time.
“Rou? You okay?” Tubbo asks, walking up behind him with concern.
Rou shrugs.
He and Tubbo usually stayed away from the activities during the celebration. They both didn’t care for it much. Rou didn’t know if he disliked the event due to the day it’s set on, or another reason.
Tubbo sighs and pulls himself onto the wall surrounding Tommy’s old home, sitting beside Rou and looking down at the crowd scurrying happily.
“I know this is hard for you. You don’t have to hide it, you know.” He says, turning to the younger of the two with a frown. His eyes are covered with his bush-like hair, but he knows there is much care in them.
“I’m fine.” Rou replies, looking away from his guardian and staring at the people below with dull eyes.
Tubbo continues to stare at him.
“I promise, Uncle Bo. It’s okay. It’s not like it’s my first spring celebration.”
“You and I both know this isn’t like every other celebration. You don’t need to pretend you’re fine when you’re not, Rou. It’s not healthy. I would know.” Tubbo says, his voice full of care as he puts a hand on the other’s shoulder.
Rou sat in silence for a moment, absorbing the comfort, before shrugging the other’s hand off of his shoulder.
“I’ll be fine.”
Tubbo sighs again. “If you say so. Want to go get some ice cream?”
Rou’s face lightens a bit at that and nods.
When the celebration comes, Rou tries his best to enjoy it. He plays games and runs around with his friends. He eats tons of amazing food, and plays tricks on the other people around. Personally, his favorite was when he kept stealing Michael's food whenever he looked away.
He really does enjoy it eventually.
Then, the yearly announcement and history lesson happens. Everyone gathers around the podium, flowers and vines draping all over the stand. Rou tries to ignore them.
Niki goes to the top of the stand, looking down on everyone with a warm smile. Tubbo walks off with Ranboo as usual. Neither of them have ever liked this part.
Rou sits in the grass beside Michael. He puts his hoof over Rou's main hand and snorts quietly in comfort.
Rou smiles slightly at that.
‘I guess he noticed the flowers’, Rou thinks to himself.
"Hello everyone! Happy 10 year anniversary of the spring celebration and the defeat of Dream!" Niki says into the mic.
The crowd cheers. Michael smiles brightly, but covers his ears from the loud sound. Rou frowns in his borderline-brother's direction.
"As you all likely know, this celebration was born from the final defeat of Dream, a tyrant ruling over these lands for a long, long time. 10 years ago today, after much fighting and terrorous events, TommyInnit finally killed Dream once and for all, along with his sidekick, Punz."
Niki's tone turns less celebratory and more solemn.
"Not only is today the anniversary of the freeing of our lands, but it is also a special day for our hero, Tommy. He loved spring, and nature, and everything that went along with it."
The crowd turns into a respectful silence, rather than excited cheers. Rou's stomach begins to flip. He thought he could handle it today. They never talk about his father, other than the brief mentions that he was the one who killed Dream.
"Tommy is the biggest reason we are free today. For many years, I, along with everyone who had known him, have been trying to find a proper way to honor him. Most would simply suggest a statue, but he had shown a clear distaste in statues of himself during a specific time."
Some mumbles broke out into the crowd, but Niki continued.
"So, after all these years, on the 10 year anniversary, we have decided to start up the Prime Gardening Project, in honor of Tommy and all he's done for us. This will be hosted-"
Rou's mind blanked at that. He ignored everything. All he heard was muffled noises and ringing.
He didn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be here.
Rou finds himself standing up and running away. He sprints, ignoring the muffled shouts after him, ignoring the tears clouding his eyes, ignoring it all.
He only fully comes back to his senses when he's sitting in front of a familiar grave with a familiar name carved into it.
He sobs into his hands, all of his arms wrap around himself as he pulls his knees to his chest. The tears flow and flow from his eyes, they never stop.
"Why… Why- fuck- Why do they think they have the right?! They didn't save him! They didn't help him! Why do they have to keep torturing me and acting as if theyre some higher-ups in this whole mess they created." He grips his hair in anger.
"Why can't they just keep my dad's name out of their mouth?"
"Why didn't they help him?"
"Why do they have to shove it in my face wherever I go?"
"Why why why…!"
"Why did they take my dad away from me?!"
Rou shoves his face into his hands and sobs. He cries and cries until there are no more tears for him to cry.
"Why…"
Silence fills the graveyard. Rou lays himself on the ground in front of his father's grave and stares at the name carved into the stone.
"Why did you leave me?"
His eyes close, and he rests his head into the dirt. His leftover tears water the flowers surrounding his father's grave.
If only he'd noticed the frowning faded man watching from the forest edge.