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“Do you ever want to accomplish something in life?”
“What?”
“Like… a desire? A drive to keep you moving forward?”
Xiao simply sighs. “I have no desire.”
“Everyone has a desire. Surely even Yakshas can’t help but to have one.”
“Not me.”
Incorrect. Xiao and the 4 Yakshas alongside him all had desires in life. Indarias always wanted to live the rest of her life as a mere mortal walking through the streets of Liyue Harbor. The other 3 Yakshas: Bosacius, Bonanus, and Menogias wanted to feel what it’s like to love and be loved. To have a significant other in their lives, mortal or immortal. It did not matter to them. They wanted to know what a break up felt like and what a “coping mechanism” meant. They’ve also thought about marrying someone and mentioning promises about loving one another until fate meets.
All of these mortal fantasies sounded ridiculous to Xiao. He could never imagine himself shopping at the market or clean his house. He could also never see himself falling in love, let alone marrying someone. Simply put, he thinks he does not fit the mortal life.
Until you changed the trajectory of his life. At first, you were just another citizen in a city that he protects. You had the same mortal ideals as the rest (the most common at that, he adds) and none of your actions would affect his mission as an adeptus.
Out of nowhere, he found himself looking for you. Your warmth. Your smile. Your questions. Xiao has no idea when and where it all started, but he noticed when being by your side also became a part of his routine.
“Why are you here?”
Xiao is startled. He rubs the back of his neck and remains standing in front of your door.
“Xiao.”
His name is cold in your mouth. It reminds him of the time he went to Dragonspine. Both you and the place send shivers to his spine.
“I…” He looks for the right word to say. “…just wanted to see you.”
Xiao smiles at the memory. It was the first time he felt nervous and scared. Nervous and scared that you’d refuse to ever see him again. Nervous and scared that he’d never hear his name in your voice again. A huge argument had occurred that day and it was nothing but petty remarks between mortal and immortal. Xiao often wonders why he wastes his time trying to match your stubbornness.
“Are you afraid of being alone, Xiao?” You ask as you look up to the night sky and observe the stars.
“No. I have lived for over two thousand years, what more is there to fear?”
“Many, many things. Darkness, height, emotions, knowledge. There is nothing impossible in Teyvat. We live to be fearful of something.”
Xiao hums. “And that explains your fear of frogs?”
“Don’t ruin the mood! I’m trying to be deep here!”
“Alright… however, there is a frog happily watching the stars alongside you. It would be nice to say hello to him, at least.”
“Ah!”
Xiao hopes for all of this to end so he can come back to your arms again. He realizes how badly he misses you and cringes at how clingy he sounds. Of course, Xiao would never admit this to you because he knows you would tease him again and again.
Ah, you were such a pain to deal with.
But for Xiao, out of all the pain he’s experienced, he was gladly tolerating you.
“Xiao! Xiao!” You run up to him excitedly.
He sighs. He crosses his arms and waits for you to explain what’s happening.
You smile widely. Xiao’s actions sound like words to you as you immediately understand what he’s doing. You reach for your bag and bring out a printed photo. “I took a picture of a shooting star. Lucky, right?!”
“Shooting stars are common. I wouldn’t say lucky.”
“But have you ever seen anyone take a picture of it falling? Thought so.” You giggle and look at the photo again. “Make a wish!”
“What?”
“It’s a shooting star! It’s only natural to wish on it.”
“It’s a printed picture of a shooting star. This is ridiculous.”
“It’s ridiculous because you don’t believe in it, but I do. Seriously, is ridiculous your favorite word? Make a wish!”
“You are such a pain.”
You smile at him. He sighs once more and closes his eyes to make a wish. It takes him a while, so you observe him quietly. He is very beautiful and he seems at peace this way. You badly want to take your Kamera out and steal a photo, but he opens his eyes and looks at you again.
“What did you wish for?”
“Nothing.”
You carefully return the photo in your bag and make sure it’s in a safe place so it would not be crumpled. “You know, I took this picture on your birthday… and I named the shooting star after your name. So, just know that whatever wish you asked for, then it’ll come true. It’s like… a manifestation of some sort!”
Right, Xiao made a wish on a printed shooting star before. He laughs because he actually did wish on it even if he refused the idea at first. It’s crazy how much childish ideas he’s went with just to see you smile like an idiot.
What was it that he wished for again? Ah, yes…
“I wish I had met you earlier.”
Xiao’s desire was to live a life with no regrets before he passes on.
But like the other fallen Yakshas, he too, could not achieve this desire.
As he continues to descend into the Chasm, he realizes that he is regretful that he could not live a mortal life with you.
He had countless wishes he wanted to fulfill. He wanted to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, eat meals together above mountains and spend day offs leisurely. He wanted to travel around Teyvat together with you, sneak photos of you with the beautiful scenery in the background and keep your photos in a safe box. He wanted to live with you by the sea, watch the tides rise and fall with you, listen to starconches together on the beach as the sea breeze blows. He wanted to sleep in your arms under the moonlight and wake up to the sight of you at peace.
And he too, wanted to marry you, like any mortal would have done. He wanted to promise to love you even after death meets. He had a lot more wishes, a lot more things he wanted to do.
Xiao laughs at himself for being the biggest hypocrite in Teyvat. He feels tears in his eyes and tries to wipe it off but did not have the strength to move a muscle. He asks the Archons to forgive him for his lack of self-awareness. Perhaps he deserves to descend into the Chasm and never see sunlight again. Maybe this is how he will repay his thousand-year worth of debt.
The air starts to feel denser beneath him as he continues to fall. He’s relieved. He’s closer to the ground. He plans to lay down and rest so he can look for a way to come back up and return to you as soon as possible. He looks forward to waking up tomorrow.
Until he didn’t.
5 Yakshas are now kept in the hearts of the citizens in Liyue Harbor as they thank them for their service.