Chapter Text
Ranboo wasn’t exactly sure what he was getting into when Tubbo promised him a spot in the New L’Manberg cabinet. He sure didn’t expect all the stress that came with it. More for Tubbo but seeing him stressed worried Ranboo anyway. Ranboo didn’t even do that much, he kind of just showed up to the meetings and occasionally commented on stuff. Seeing Tubbo in such a state was enough stress for him anyway.
The small boy would show up to work everyday with bags under his eyes that look like you could carry your groceries in and his shoulders looked like he literally carries the whole country. His fairly new burn scars didn’t look like they were being taken care of either. Ranboo wasn’t exactly on top of his own scars but he sure wanted to start just so he could help Tubbo out as well. And Ranboo imagined the president’s eyes as dark and beautiful in his head but in reality when he really looked at them all he could see was a desperate need for help.
He never knew the guy but Ranboo knew he despised Wilbur for putting a teen in charge of a whole country then blowing it up and leaving the poor boy to clean up his mess. Ghostbur’s such a nice guy though and almost everyone else speaks of Wilbur so fondly so there must have been something there at some point. Ranboo, however, never knew that side of him but believed he wasn’t as bad as he seems.
Ranboo and Tubbo hadn’t been able to talk much since the election. The president was always either too busy or too tired to ever want to do anything else. Whenever meetings were over and Ranboo tried to talk to him he was always in such a hurry to leave. It hurt but he wouldn’t want to be a bother either.
However when Ranboo was taking a walk around New L’Manberg, he quite possibly saw Tubbo outside for something other than work for the first time since he was made president. He was sitting on a bench. Just sitting there. His head was resting on the top of the bench as he stared at the sky with his eyes closed.
“Tubbo?” Ranboo cringed inwardly hearing his voice squeak.
“Ranboo?” Tubbo rolled his head to the side and sat up when he saw the enderman. Maybe it was the light but his eyes didn’t seem that dull in this moment.
“What’re you doing out here?” Ranboo smiled, trying not to look too concerned.
“Oh y’know, just thinkin,” His smile was small and tired but still made Ranboo smile back.
“Abou-“ Ranboo started but was very quickly cut off by Tubbo patting the seat next to him.
“Sit.”
“O-oh- okay,” He walked behind the bench and sat on the side Tubbo wasn’t occupying, “you good?” you look… kind of okay for once Ranboo wanted to add.
“Yeah, well, I guess I just wanted to actually get out for once. I suppose I was hoping I could destress a bit but turns out that’s a bit harder than I thought,” He laughed nervously a bit at the end.
“What are you trying to think about?”
“I dunno, something that isn’t work,” the boy bit his lip for a second, “or Tommy,” he added in a more soft, unsure voice.
Tommy, yeah, the boy Ranboo and Tubbo’s age that had got exiled. The boy Ranboo faintly remembered getting him in trouble. The boy that Ranboo should have probably been exiled with. But yet he’s still sitting here with Tubbo.
When Ranboo didn’t say anything, Tubbo continued, “To be fair, I thought it’d be better for the country but,” he paused to bite his lip again, “he’s my best friend, and now he probably thinks I hate him so why would he want to see me,” his lips are very chapped from biting them so much at this point, “I shouldn’t have done that,” his voice was soft and strained and full of regret.
Ranboo was never exactly the best at comforting so all he can think to say is, “I don’t really remember but I-I I think it was my fault too,” he wanted to add more but Tubbo interrupted his self blame spiral starting.
“It’s no use blaming ourselves is it boss man?” he sighed, “he’s gone and as much as I want to blame myself too I just hope he’ll be back soon.”
“Yeah.”
“Man, I tried to come out here to escape my mind, not pour my feelings onto you,” the president said with a soft smile, looking down at the wood path below them. From this angle Ranboo can see the remains of his other horn that got blown off in the execution. He wondered if the boy’s ever cut himself when running his hands through his hair. He wondered if it’ll ever grow back the same but does anything ever grow back the same?
“It’s alright, I haven’t been able to talk to you much, it’s nice hearing what’s going on,” Ranboo smiled even though the boy couldn’t see him. He wanted to feel if his broken horn was sharp or not. His hair’s greasy too but that kind of comes with not taking care of yourself very well. From up close Ranboo can see that’s why his hair‘s constantly in his eyes. It looks like it’d bother him but maybe not. Or maybe he’s just too tired.
Tubbo looked back up at the enderman briefly before casting his gaze back to the ground. “I was kinda hoping I’d see you out here,” he wrapped his burned arms around himself, his voice soft.
“Me too.” Without thinking, he put a hand on the smaller boy’s back. He pulled back instantly when he flinched, “s-sorry I probably should’ve asked.”
Tubbo shook his head, “no, it’s alright.”
“Okay,” Ranboo nodded even though he still wasn’t facing him. He wrapped his arm around the president’s shoulders and gently pulled him into his side. His body seemed to relax instantly and only in this moment did Ranboo realize just how small Tubbo was. He just felt so fragile. Like if Ranboo were to hold on too tight he’d just shatter into a million tiny pieces. He pressed his cheek into the top of his greasy hair, avoiding the broken horn that he decided would probably cut him if he touched it.
The president’s suit had never fit him quite right, always too big. Both Niki and Tommy had offered multiple times to tailor his suit but he always rejected, never wanting to make them even busier. And now Tommy is gone so his suit will most likely always be too big. It was clear from his face and hands he was getting thinner but his oversized suit had always hidden the rest of him. Ranboo hoped that maybe his hands and face were just bony and he’d been imagining things but holding him now he could tell there’s no way he’d always been this thin. Discovering this now, he felt even worse for the president. Ranboo wanted to help Tubbo out, help him with work more, cook for him, lay with him until he falls into a restful sleep, just hang out and relax with him, etc. etc. Ranboo wanted Tubbo to be okay.
They sat there like that for some time. Eventually, Tubbo’s communicator went off with a message. It was Quackity asking where he was.
“Shit,” he cursed, realizing how much time had passed, “never been late to my own meeting before, sorry,” he said but it sounded more like it was to himself.
When they got up, Tubbo linked his arm in Ranboo’s without thinking and they both headed to the office.
When they reached the door, Tubbo let go of Ranboo and muttered an apology as they entered the meeting room but Ranboo had no clue what he was apologizing for.
“It’s alright man,” he said softly before they sat at their respective seats.
“Look at who it is,” Quackity teased.
“And our favorite minutes man!” Fundy added dramatically, gesturing to Ranboo.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, let’s just do the meeting,” Tubbo mumbled, already flipping through the papers in front of him. Ranboo was disappointed to see the little bit of light he saw in the teen disappear already. Though it’s probably hard to glow while being fully aware you’re carrying a whole country on your shoulders. Ranboo felt happy he could lift that weight even for what felt like a few minutes.
During the meeting all Ranboo could think about was the poor president. He already thought about him a lot but after their interaction any other thought that crossed his mind felt like a betrayal. Tubbo probably would hate knowing how much Ranboo worried about him but he couldn’t help it.
After the meeting, Tubbo met him at the door instead of brushing him off if he tried to talk to him. He gave a small smile at Ranboo but it didn’t feel the same as earlier that day.
So Ranboo waited until they had silently left the building to ask, “do you even like being president?”
“Huh? I mean, I’m just doing what I’ve gotta do for the country bossman,” he seemed to be caught off guard by this question.
“But is it what you wanna do?”
“It’s my country. I suppose it’s not my favorite thing but well, it’s my job and there’s not much I can do about that,” his hair had fallen into his eyes but he didn’t bother fixing it.
“It just- it just doesn’t seem to be impacting you very well.”
Tubbo exhaled. “I know. I can’t just leave though, this is my country.” He looked up at Ranboo, hair still in his eyes.
Ranboo grabbed his own hand so he couldn't reach out and brush his dark hair away from his face. “Yeah, I guess,” I just need you to take more care of yourself, he wanted to add. Instead, he bit his tongue.
At this point, they had reached Tubbo’s house. “Well, bye Ranboo,” the boy turned to open the door without looking at the other.
“Oh, see ya.”
The door shut behind Tubbo leaving Ranboo outside. He could admit he felt a small pang of disappointment with the interaction. He turned and walked back to his house.
At home, he got out his memory book and wrote about how he swore the boy’s usually dull eyes shone when he saw him. He mentioned talking about Tommy. He mentioned how badly he wanted to hold him and when he did how comfortable it felt. He mentioned how fragile he was. He mentioned wanting him to be okay.
Reading this over, the teen laughed at how it looked like he was in love. He didn’t laugh at how much he didn’t like that concept. He didn’t laugh when he wondered what Tubbo thought of him. He didn’t want to be in love. He hoped he wasn’t.
When he saw Tubbo the next day on the same bench he felt that same conflicting feeling. It didn’t make sense either. He wanted to love him but he also didn’t want to. He wanted to spend time with him but in what way? Friends? Lovers?
His thoughts were interrupted when Tubbo suddenly turned and called to him as if he could sense Ranboo standing there. He sat next to the other just like yesterday.
“Sorry for blowing you off yesterday,” Tubbo admitted quietly with a sigh, “you were just trying to be nice… and you were right.”
“So are you gonna do anything now?”
“I wish,” his face was now facing completely away from Ranboo, “I know what you’re trying to say, I just don’t know what to do.”
“Are you sure you need that much of a workload?” Ranboo was trying to lean forward to see Tubbo’s face but he wouldn’t look at him.
“I don’t wanna give everything to anyone else though.”
“You’re not giving everything, just enough so that you’re not constantly stressed.”
Tubbo made a sound that probably meant he knew wouldn’t win.
“I just think you should at least talk to Quackity about it,” Ranboo replied in a softer tone.
Tubbo sighed and looked up at Ranboo. “Maybe I should.”
“Okay.”
There was an awkward moment of silence where they didn’t know where to take the conversation now.
“Sooooo,” Ranboo started, trailing off.
“Soooo,” Tubbo echoed.
The enderman giggled. “But uh, were you sitting here waiting for me just so you could apologize?”
“I never said I was waiting for you!” He pretended to sound offended. “It’s not like I know where you live!”
Ranboo scoffed. “I think you just admitted to waiting for me.”
Tubbo smiled. Genuinely. “Well then why don’t you tell me where you live bossman?” But the enderman barely heard him over Tubbo’s smile.
Ranboo pointed over to where he came from a bit down the street on the other side of Tubbo. Maybe with this information he could see Tubbo more. That’d be nice.
“Now I can stalk you Ranboob,” he said with a scary grin.
“Well I know where you live too so don’t think you’re safe either.”
“Can you teleport?” He asked, now speaking in an actually curious way.
“Uh, no? I don’t think so?” Admittedly, Ranboo wasn’t quite sure of this one himself.
“So maybe.”
“That’s not what I-“
“Mannn that’d be sick,” he tilted his head in a way that made it impossible to not find him endearing.
“Heh, yeah,” Ranboo responded but his thoughts were occupied by Tubbo despite him sitting right in front of him. He felt weird thinking about him, especially right here. He shouldn’t be thinking about him. It felt wrong. Yet he was still trying to ponder his feelings.
“I wanna talk to you more,” Tubbo said after a pause.
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” He tried not to act surprised? Flustered? Something.
“Well no shit, it’s just that I cut you off but now I wish I hadn’t.”
There was another pause. “Well now I’m here.”
The way Tubbo looked at him made his heart hurt. There were some things Ranboo wasn’t sure of but how cute this boy could be was not one of those things. “Thanks Ranboo.”
“Of course.” They just looked at each other but the eye contact was making Ranboo too anxious so he had to look away as much as he wanted to keep their eyes locked.
“I’m gonna talk to Quackity,” Tubbo said suddenly.
“Oh? Okay, okay,” yet again he was pulled out of his head.
“Yeah,” he looked off to the side, “maybe I’ll speak to him after the next meeting.”
“Alright,” Ranboo smiled, “that’s good.”
Tubbo nodded, smiling, and looked back at the ground, back to not knowing what to say.
“Y’know, if you need literally anything you can ask me,” Ranboo said softly. I want you to be okay I want you to be okay I want you to be okay the words echoed in his head but he still refused to say them.
Tubbo’s eyes went back up to Ranboo. His hair was in his eyes again. “Thanks,” he said almost self consciously.
Ranboo reached out and gently lifted his hair from his face. He was met with wet eyes. The boy gave a small sniffle before wrapping his arms around the taller one and burying his face in his chest. Ranboo then wrapped his arms around the president’s small body and buried his face in his hair. His hair was still greasy but Ranboo didn’t care and rubbed his back as they sat there silently.
Eventually, Tubbo let go and smiled at Ranboo again. “I just want you to be okay,” Ranboo whispered. He lifted his hand and carefully rested it on an unscarred part of his burned cheek.
Tubbo put a hand on top of Ranboo's. It was rough. Ranboo didn’t care. “I will be.”
“Alright.”
“Say bossman, wanna get lunch?” Tubbo asked abruptly.
Ranboo dropped his hand. “Are you asking me on a date?” He laughed to hide his nervousness. Though maybe asking that was too forward.
“Only if you want it to be,” Tubbo said with a wink and they both laughed. It didn’t hide the anxiety growing in Ranboo’s stomach though.
It looked like Tubbo was about to ask if he was okay when Ranboo said, “y- yeah- yeah- okay,” he stopped for a second but then almost panicked at what that implied, “about- about lunch- not-not the date- I- I’m not sure about the date.” The little panic was probably very noticeable in his voice.
“That’s alright, I don’t really know either to be honest,” Tubbo said with a reassuring smile. Ranboo felt like he’d never been more relieved in his life. There goes one thing he doesn’t have to worry about anymore. Tubbo either didn’t notice Ranboo’s reaction or chose not to comment on it.
“Okay,” he smiled, “are we going now?”
“Sure,” Tubbo said and in one quick moment he sprung up and grabbed Ranboo’s hand. Then they were headed to the only diner in town. It was a nice place owned by Niki and Jack took their order.
They both ordered burgers and curly fries and milkshakes. Ranboo’s was strawberry, Tubbo’s chocolate.
As they casually chatted over their food, there were a multitude of questions Ranboo wanted to ask but couldn’t bring himself to ask. Maybe another day. Hopefully another day. He didn’t fully hear the words either of them saying over his own thoughts. He really hoped when he glanced at the lips of the boy sitting across from him it didn’t look like he wanted to kiss him. He really hoped the way he looked in his dark eyes didn’t look like anything. He was too busy figuring his own thoughts out. He didn’t think he wanted to kiss him though so maybe that was another thing he didn’t have to worry about anymore.
When Tubbo leaned across the table to steal a sip of Ranboo’s milkshake he wondered if that was when they were supposed to kiss. He let the moment pass without doing anything and they went back into their conversation as if nothing happened. Maybe nothing happened.
After they paid and held hands on the way back home Ranboo wondered if that made them technically dating. Going on dates and holding hands, isn’t that what dating is? Maybe kissing too, thank God that didn’t happen, but that’s what it is, isn’t it? His tongue was starting to bleed from all this thinking.
When Ranboo got home he wrote in his memory book again. Best friend or boyfriend? That seemed to be the question. When he failed to answer that question for probably the hundredth time that day he sighed and put it away after writing the entry.
He just looks forward to seeing him again.