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“Happy Valentine’s Day, lovebirds!” Saiki’s mother chimed from the kitchen as Saiki opened the door to let Aiura in from the cold morning air.
“Oh, was that today?” Aiura said, tapping her finger against her chin, pretending that she had forgotten.
Obviously, Saiki knew the truth, and he held out his hand in anticipation of his gift. Heartfelt chocolates with different fillings. Store-bought, but with homemade Aiura-approved decorations, including edible glitter. She plopped the heart-shaped box into his hand and he gave her a smug smile.
Kurumi squealed with delight, twirling out from behind the stove and toward the front door. “Oh, Miko-chan, you’re just too sweet!” she cooed. “That’s why I bought you two a little something…” She put her hands behind herself and swished her shoulders with mock-innocence.
Normally, Saiki would know exactly what his mother was talking about. She was terrible at keeping secrets, even from people without the ability to read minds. But lately, he’d been spending so much time out of the house with Aiura that he hadn’t paid any attention to his mother and her thoughts.
So, what was the surprise?
Kurumi ducked into a closet in the hallway and pulled out a single gift bag. “Open it together, okay?” she requested, holding the bag out to them.
Saiki took it and held it while Aiura eagerly tore the tissue paper from it, flinging the pieces into the air with glee. She stuck her arms into the bag and pulled out a bit of white cloth. Holding it up between her manicured fingers, Aiura revealed the extent of his mother’s delusion. It was a long sleeve t-shirt with a popular cartoon mouse on it, leaning over to the shirt’s side seam with his lips pursed in a kiss. There was text that read “chu~” written across the chest.
With a sigh, Saiki realized the meaning of the gift before Aiura did, as she draped the shirt over her arm and reached back into the bag to pull out a matching shirt with the cartoon mouse’s girlfriend mirroring the same pose.
Good grief. Couple t-shirts.
Aiura blinked in disbelief for a moment while Saiki’s mother stood with her fingers woven together in anticipation of a grateful reaction. Instead, Aiura laughed in a loud, resounding boom. Yeah, right. Like Kusuo would ever wear this!
“Do you like it?” Saiki’s mother asked in a small, meek voice, feeling embarrassed by Aiura’s laughter and Saiki’s expressionless face.
Being the good son he is, Saiki couldn’t let his mother down. He gave her a thumbs up, a gesture of deceit.
Aiura let her laughter subside, clutching her side. “They’re, like, way hella cute,” she said. “It would be a dream come true to wear these together.” None of what Airua said was a lie. Saiki wearing a matching t-shirt with Aiura would only happen in a dream, or a nightmare for him. How humiliating would that be?
These half-truths made his mother happy though, as tension left her shoulders. Those two will look so cute together…
Picking up the tissue scraps from the floor, Aiura told Saiki’s mother, ‘We’d better get going to school, though.”
“Oh, right!” Kurumi said. “Have a lovely day, you two!”
Aiura placed the shirts back into the bag along with the tissue paper and set the bag by the door. “I’ll just let you keep those,” she said.
Saiki gave a more honest thumbs up to her as he popped one of his chocolates into his mouth, grateful that she understood his feelings so well.
It seemed that Aiura’s understanding of Saiki’s feelings didn’t exactly mean that she respected those feelings, as she passed him a note in class later that same week.
He knew what the note said before it ever reached his desk, causing his blood to run cold.
It was a slip of paper with a few words scribbled on it in his own handwriting. Pick my outfit. A coupon he had gifted her as part of commemorating one-month of dating. It was like she was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to cash it in, having saved this particular slip of paper for literal months. Perhaps she had known all along that this would happen, perhaps she had seen the embarrassing couple’s t-shirts in a vision or something. Or maybe she’d just forgotten about the coupon until Kurumi handed over that cursed present.
Whatever the reason for Aiura’s betrayal, Saiki had no choice. He had made the coupon, and he would have to honor it. When it reached his desk, he balled it up in his fist without even unfurling it, hanging his head in defeat, eliciting strange looks from Kuboyasu and Teruhashi who noticed his unusually expressive reaction.
Aiura meanwhile was biting her lower lip, trying to hold back her giggles at her boyfriend’s apparent despair. And she called him a sadist…
That Saturday, as Saiki stood by Aiura in front of the mirror in his bedroom, he had to admit… They looked like idiots. Couple t-shirts weren’t even that popular anymore. “Perhaps we can stay in tonight,” Saiki suggested, tugging on the hem of the shirt.
Aiura squished in closer to him, causing the lips of the cartoon mice on their shirts to meet along the side seams. “Nah. We have to go out. Our ‘fits are way too freakin’ cute not to show off.”
Saiki pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and closed his eyes. He felt Aiura slipping his green lenses away from his eyes. A new set of plastic frames settled on his nose. He opened his eyes to see himself wearing giant black sunglasses.
“I got us matching shades, too!” Aiura blinked behind her own black sunglasses, which she had covered in rhinestones. They weren’t really matching anymore, but Saiki wasn’t going to mention it. It’s not like their outfits could get any worse.
“So… Ice cream, then?” Saiki said miserably, taking his green glasses and levitating them to his nightstand.
Aiura clung to his arm, refusing to walk even for a second on his other side, lest the mice’s kiss end.
Saiki considered that with these giant black sunglasses, he was halfway to a decent disguise. “Maybe we could get some matching hats too?” he suggested innocently.
Aiura nodded furiously, not recognizing his intent.
By the time they got to the ice cream shop, their faces were almost totally obscured by accessories, which now included thick red scarves and black baseball caps. Saiki was pleased by his anonymity and Aiura was pleased by their display of devotion to each other.
Aiura ordered for them, getting two triple scoop cones with a variety of flavors so they could sample from each other’s desserts for some sugary indirect kisses. Saiki found these insignificant manifestations of romance to be trivial, but they meant a lot to her, so he would let her have a few licks off of his ice cream in exchange for some licks off of hers. Sometimes it was too easy to make her blush…
She approached him with cones in hand where he sat, having claimed a cozy booth in the corner of the ice cream shop.
“We’ve been apart for too long,” she said, sliding into the booth beside him, allowing the mice on their shirts to reunite in a passionate kiss.
He wanted to roll his eyes in annoyance, but really his t-shirt didn’t make any sense out of context, so instead he took his ice cream cone without making fun of her melodrama.
As he took his first lick of strawberry flavored ice cream, a cold chill ran down his spine, and not from the frozen dairy treat. That sense of foreboding could mean just one thing…
Teruhashi was approaching.
This is exactly the type of situation he wanted to avoid while wearing these god-awful shirts. It would be horrifying enough if any of their classmates found them out in public like this. He could only imagine how low his likability would plunge. Everyone would think they were a disgusting codependent couple, nauseating like his parents. If Teruhashi found them, it would be about a thousand times worse than that, as he'd have to deal with her hysterics when she realized that he and Aiura were, indeed, dating.
He licked with intensity, his eyebrows furrowed as he considered how he might get out of this. But as Aiura leaned her head on his shoulder while she slurped at her own cone, he felt the plastic frame of her sunglasses poke into him. Right. They were practically wearing disguises. There’s no way Teruhashi would recognize them. He was safe. He relaxed a bit while Aiura extended her cone to him and he sampled a bit of her salted caramel. In turn, she licked at his pistachio scoop.
The chime over the door jingled cheerfully as Teruhashi and Yumehara entered the ice cream parlor. Aiura sat up a bit straighter and Saiki could sense her hand about to shoot up to wave at them. Instead, he caught her and laced their fingers together.
“It’s Teru-koko and Chiyopipi,” Aiura whispered to him as his grip on her hand tightened slightly.
“I don’t want them interrupting our date,” Saiki lied.
Aiura swooned and cuddled in closer. His lie earned him another taste of her ice cream, which he happily accepted, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.
He watched as Yumehara picked her ice cream flavor from the case, resisting the urge to order three scoops like Aiura had. Teruhashi likewise picked a modest single scoop. The two girls surveyed the dining room.
Saiki dropped his gaze to his cone, hoping to avoid their eyes and their attention.
“Oh, look,” Yumehara said. “Those two are wearing couple t-shirts.” She pointed to Saiki and Aiura. “I can’t believe people still go out like that!” Though I would love to match with Kaidou someday…
“That is a little out of style,” Teruhashi said, polite as ever. But if Saiki wanted to wear matching t-shirts with me, I wouldn’t refuse. Teruhashi’s cheeks pinked and she raised her free hand to her face.
Yumehara found a free table across the small dining room from Saiki and Aiura and led Teruhashi to it.
A sigh escaped from Saiki’s lips. They hadn’t been recognized.
“They looked right at us and didn’t say hi,” Aiura noted. “Guess they didn’t recognize us in these sunglasses… and these scarves… and these hats…” Realization finally dawned on her. “Hey!” she said, loosing her hand from his to slap weakly at Saiki’s shoulder. You didn’t want anybody to know we were out together!
Saiki had been caught by Aiura… Meanwhile, Teruhashi was considering that the guy in the couple’s t-shirt was oddly familiar. Saiki always holds cups with his pinky sticking out like that…
Good grief, Teruhashi’s like a detective… Saiki lamented as Aiura continued to slap at his shoulder with annoyance.
“Doesn’t that guy look like Saiki?” Teruhashi whispered.
“I was just thinking that his girlfriend looked like Miko-chan,” Yumehara replied.
Saiki just knew that coupon book was a stupid idea and that these t-shirts would be trouble.
Yumehara and Teruhashi exchanged a look, then both erupted into giggles. “No way,” Yumehara said.
“It does seem unlikely,” Teruhashi agreed.
Okay, so Teruhashi’s denial about Saiki and Aiura’s relationship saved him this time.
But Aiura was still irritated by Saiki’s disguise. There wasn’t really anything he could say to refute it. She knew the truth, that he was embarrassed by the t-shirts and that he was still cagey about their relationship going public. As her futile assault on his shoulder slowed, he caught her hand in his again.
“Sorry,” he said, pressing his lips to her knuckles.
All of her anger melted immediately, like the drips of ice cream sliding across the fingers on her other hand.
“They are a cute couple, though,” Yumehara observed, still watching them from the other side of the room, as she stuck her spoon into her mouth for another bite of her ice cream.
“Yes, they are,” Teruhashi agreed, poking her spoon with indifference into her own bowl.
If they only knew, Saiki thought with a smile as he handed Aiura a napkin. For some reason, he didn’t want anything to drip on that stupid t-shirt.