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“Wil? When’s Dad coming home?”
“I don’t know, Toms. Soon.” Wilbur muttered, pulling his little brother closer to his chest. “Let’s go to bed, okay?”
“I can’t.. I want dad.” Tommy sniffled.
“I know. I do too. I’ll tell you what, we can build a blanket fort downstairs and sleep there. Dad can’t stop us from doing it if he isn’t here. And I bet tomorrow, he’ll come and scold us, and everything will be okay.” Wilbur sat up.
“Yay, blanket fort!” Tommy giggled.
“Yeah,” Wilbur tried to smile genuinely at the 4 year old. But it was difficult. Just barely being 13 and raising a kid was hard. He was stressed. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this.
But instead of thinking about that, he picked up Tommy and walked down the stairs, bringing their blankets and pillows with them.
Tommy was excited. It was the perfect distraction.
Once the blanket fort was made and the two huddled together inside of it, Tommy was almost instantly asleep. His small snores and light purring noise he made were calming to Wilbur. Tommy was happy. Wilbur let out a small sigh and let himself drift into sleep.
____
“You’re my child, Wilbur, I think I have the right to know what the fuck you’ve been doing sneaking off to-”
“No! You’ve lost the privilege of calling me and Tommy your children! You don’t deserve it after you left me here to fucking take care of him when I was 13 years old! He was 4, do you know how hard it was to explain that his father didn’t care about him?! You deserve to know nothing!” Wilbur shouted at Philza. If looks could kill, Philza would be dead where he stood.
“Don’t bring Tommy into this! Of course I care about him, and I didn’t abandon either of you, I visited freque-!”
“What’s Tommy’s favorite food? What’s his favorite color? What’s his favorite type of bug?” Wilbur shouted.
“His favorite color is red, of course I know that!”
“It’s cyan, Philza! He likes cyan!”
“Then why is everything he owns red?!”
“Because it’s the color of yours and Techno’s eyes! He associates that color with you! His favorite food is pasta, any type of pasta, he loves it, and his favorite insect are moths, but he also really likes spiders-”
“Well, if course I knew his favorite insect-”
“What’s my favorite color, Phil?” Wilbur’s voice became deadly calm. He tilted his head at the older man, waiting for an answer.
“..It’s blue. Of course it’s-”
“Yellow. My favorite color is yellow. And the funny thing is, Phil,” Wilbur laughed, though there was no humor in it. “Is that you’re exactly proving my point. I can’t fucking live here anymore. Me and Tommy are going to leave and we’ll never have to see your face again.”
“You can’t just leave, you’re my sons!”
“You only have one son, Philza. You’ve only had one since the day you chose him over us.” Wilbur turned on his heel, flipping his father off as he went up to Tommy’s room.
He knocked on the door, earning a small ‘come in’ from inside. He opened the door.
“Hey, Toms.” He greeted the now 6 year old. He sat next to the boy, huddled in his blankets on his bed. “I know you heard the conversation.”
“Mhm.” Tommy muttered. “Do we have to go?”
Both the boys flinched at the loud sound of the downstairs door slamming as their father- as Phil left the house.
“Yeah, Toms. I’m sorry. But we’ll find or even build a cool new place. And we’ll have ten times more fun there than here, where Phil can try and convince us he cares.” Wilbur smiled.
Tommy nodded. “Okay, Wil. Just promise you won’t leave too?”
“I promise, Tommy.”
Tommy held out his pinky, Wilbur linked it in his. And a pinky promise was made.
____
Wilbur and Tommy changed their last names. Wilbur and Tommy Soot. They found a space in a server called Hypixel to build a home for him and his little brother.
The only problem with Hypixel was that it was a high crime area. No true managers of it. There were often organized fights that people would go to so they could earn a bit of cash. There were thieves around every corner.
Wilbur would always be slightly ashamed to admit it, but he had fought and won in a lot of those fights. He went by the name ‘Death Angel’ as a slight memoriam to what he’d once thought of his father of Philza as in high regards.
He had only been 16 when he started fighting, and had no real way of making money to survive on the server for him and his then 7 year old brother.
They were okay.
Wilbur knew siblings were supposed to fight each other, and not get along, but that had never been the case for him and Tommy. Though he supposed he couldn’t really consider their situation normal. Tommy had accidentally slipped up and called Wilbur ‘dad’ a few times. They really weren’t normal siblings.
Everything was great, up until Tommy was 11. The now 20 year old Wilbur was just standing in the kitchen, when his little brother came barreling into the room.
“Wil! Wil! Guess what?!” He said, holding a piece of paper in his hand.
“What is it, Toms?” Wilbur asked, putting his cup down.
“You know Technoblade’s old rival, Dream? Well he invited us to come and live on his server! It would be so great, and we could get away from the muggers and shit, and we wouldn’t have to be poor because it’s new so-”
“I really don’t think that’s smart, Toms. I mean, look, we’ve built a life for ourselves here. It’s nice. We have friends.”
Tommy faltered. “..You have friends. There’s no one my age here.”
“Well, that’s a good thing.”
“It’s further proof that I shouldn’t be here.”
“I’m not going to leave and you aren’t either. That’s final.”
“You’re not my dad.” Tommy blurted.
“What?”
“You’re not my dad! Why should I have to listen to you?!” Tommy frowned at his brother.
“I may as well be your dad, Tommy, I raised you! You know why? Because your actual dad didn’t care enough about either of us to stick around! He didn’t care, and neither does anyone else! Except for me, this is why you need to stay here-”
“I’m tired of waking up every day to watch you push yourself to fight just to get money! I’m sick of being scared to go outside because I never know who’s going to try doing what to me, there are people around every corner! It’s overcrowded, under policed, and it’s the worst, Wil! I just want to feel safe again! It’s your fault I don’t, so why should I listen to you?!”
“Because I’m the only one that cares enough to fucking keep you around! And I know what’s best for you!”
“Fuck you!” Tommy shouted, rushing to his room.
Wilbur restrained himself from going after the pre-teen. They both needed time to cool off.
Wilbur went out to the arena. This is how he cooled off. He won the fight. Of course. Why wouldn’t he?
He sighed a bit as he set off back home.
The first thing he noticed was the eerie silence. The second was a piece of paper.
Hey Wil,
So yeah, I’m gone, I left. I’ve probably made it to Dream’s server by the time you read this. I’m tired of being scared and tired of watching you destroy yourself to get money and tired of hypixel as a whole, so I’m leaving. Hopefully I’ll write soon, and you can come and visit.
Bye
Your Little Brother, Tommy’
Wilbur choked back a sob. First his father, then his twin, and now his little brother too. He was left alone. And it was his fault.
____
Tommy was running, using the locator map that Dream had attached with the invite to the server, when he heard a small noise from the tree beside him. He turned and looked at it.
There was a small boy sitting against the tree, squeezing his eyes shut, scared.
“Hello?” Tommy asked.
The boy opened his eyes, looking at Tommy.
“Who are you?” He asked.
“Name’s Tommy. What about you?”
“I’m Tubbo.”
“Well, hey Tubbo. Wanna come to this cool new server with me?”
“..Are you gonna hurt me?”
“Nope, I will not.”
“..Alright, fine. Lead the way, Tommy.”
And he did.
_____
It had been a few weeks since Tommy had left and joined Dream’s server. The Dream SMP. And it seemed that he’d be okay. He was happy living here. Birds, sheep, endermen, tons of cool mobs that he hadn’t seen. He had a farm, so he could make as much food as he wanted.
He spent most of his time with Tubbo. He made friends with a few other people as well. George and Sapnap were cool. Ponk and Punz were a bit old, but they were cool as well. Dream was sort of elusive, and Alyssa was just.. Well, he didn’t really interact with her.
There was another kid there, Purpled. He was pretty cool. He had some sort of antene like Tubbo, but his looked very different.
Tubbo was a bee hybrid, Tommy had found out. He couldn’t fly because his wings were too small and not exercised enough. He got sad when he wasn’t around flowers, he said.
Purpled, however, was some kind of alien. He told Tommy he wasn’t from this planet. That he was from a whole other dimension.
Tommy knew of other dimensions. Like the nether. But Purpled said that it wasn’t like that. He’d come down from space. Tommy was in awe.
Tommy was upset that his hybrid ability was lame. He was a raccoon hybrid. And sure, he had a cool tail, and sure he could fit in small spaces, but he wanted to be able to say he was from space like Purpled. When he said he was from Hypixel, people just gave him a sympathetic look.
But whatever.
____
It had been a few years now. The currently 13 year old Tommy was considering writing to his brother.
Dear Wilbur
Too formal.
Wilbur,
That was alright.
Hi, how have you been? It’s been a while. I’m happy here on the Dream SMP. I’ve made some friends (and some enemies). I’ve built a life, as you’ve said.
Get to the point. He needed to get to the point.
I’ll cut to the chase. I want you here, Wil. I miss you. I really do. And I was hoping you could make it. We can have fun, we can do pretty much whatever we want to. Dream’s only rules are no stealing, no griefing, and generally just not being a dick.
I want you to meet my friends. Tubbo is my best friend, Purpled is cool. Punz and Ponk and Sapnap are-
Yeah so I’ve attached a locator compass with this note. I hope to see you soon.
-Tommy Innit-Soot
He sighed to himself as he addressed the letter to his old home in hypixel. He then put it with the locator compass.
He stood, walking out of the house, trying his best how to remember to send these sorts of things.
_____
It was another 3 weeks before he received an answer to his letter. That answer was in the form of a knock at his door.
He opened it.
“Tubbo, I said I-” He cut himself off. That wasn’t Tubbo.
“Hey, Toms.” Wilbur said.
“Wilbur!” He shouted. He wrapped his arms around his older brother.
Wilbur let out a small laugh. Oh, gods, how Tommy had missed that laugh. “It’s me.” Wilbur hugged Tommy back.
“I’ve missed you!”
“I’ve missed you too, Tommy.”
“Come on! I wanna show you around!” Tommy said excitedly.
“Okay, okay.” Wilbur smiled as he was dragged around the server by the kid. Prime, how he’d missed this.
_____
They’d fought a war. They’d won a war. They’d built up this nation from the ground. They’d all lost a life because of this nation. Tommy had lost his discs- his most important possessions.
So why was it fair that they weren’t allowed in it.
The now 15 year old Tommy wasn’t really processing the last few hours. It was a habit he had. He sort of would just.. shut down if something bad happened. He would be nearly unresponsive, He would sort of just be there, but he wouldn’t be. It always scared Tubbo. That’s how he knew something really bad was happening.
Wilbur didn’t know. He didn’t know what to do with the kid. He hadn’t even noticed that something was up with him.
“-unfair, this is the worst, why should I have to-”
Tommy heard snippets of the rant his brother was going on.
“-and we totally won that! Quackity and Schlatt aren’t even citizens I-”
But he wasn’t really listening. He was hardly there.
He just wanted his home back.
_____
A few weeks passed. Most of it, Tommy spent in that weird state between consciousness and just not existing. He didn’t really have control of his body, but it didn’t matter anyways because he had nothing to do.
It was just him and Wilbur again.
Wilbur had been right. All those years ago. It felt like a lifetime away. Wilbur had told him that no one else cared. That no one else kept him around. And it was only Wilbur who had, and only Wilbur who would.
And it seemed to be true.
He hadn’t seen Purpled in a while. Niki had run against him. Schlatt had exiled him. Philza and Technoblade still hadn’t talked to him for 11 years. Tubbo had betrayed him. Dream and Sapnap and George and Punz had worked against him. Quackity teamed up against him. Jack Manifold, Fundy, all of them had stood by and watched as everything that he’d worked for had slipped away from him.
Wilbur was right.
Tommy only had him.
_____
“Tommy, shut up! Honestly, be quiet! I told you no and you will listen to me or you can fucking leave!”
Tommy recoiled at the tone.
“But Wil, I-”
“I don’t care! Stop talking, go to your room, and leave me alone!”
Tommy closed his mouth.
He’d just wanted to see Tubbo. That’s all he wanted. He’d been private messaged on his communicator by the bee hybrid and he wanted to see him. He wanted to see his best friend.
But, the tone and the screaming had caused shut down.
The next thing he knew, he was sitting on the floor of his bedroom.
He just wanted to go home. Why had he ever invited Wilbur to this server?
Wait no- he needed Wilbur here. No, Wilbur was good, everyone else was the problem. This would’ve inevitably happened anyways. Wilbur was just company, everyone would’ve turned on him and pushed him away. Wilbur hadn’t, Wilbur was his home, always had been.
He started to rock back and forth.
This was confusing. He was overwhelmed.
He just wanted to go home.
_____
A few nights later, Tommy was considering writing to his brother. Again. Although this time, it was a different brother.
Technoblade Minecraft,
I hope this letter finds you well. I know we haven’t spoken in a while, and I know you most likely want nothing to do with us, but me and Wilbur need your help. We’re stuck in exile from our own country, and we need your help to win the war.
You’re the best fighter I know, so I thought to reach out to you.
Please at least respond so I know you’ve received this. I will be attaching a locator compass so you can find us if you wish.
From,
Tommy Innit-Soot
He sighed a bit, considering.
Fuck it.
Wilbur was going to be so upset with him.
____
Tommy found a letter sitting in his room, about a week after he had sent the letter to his.. to the stranger that used to be his brother.
In fancy, cursive looking handwriting on the front of the envelope said, Tommy Innit-Soot
He opened it.
Dear Tommy,
I hope that this letter finds you as well as yours found me. Though the way you have explained your situation, I am assuming it didn’t. I truly am sorry that I never reached out. Phil’s never told me quite what happened the night that you guys left, and I didn’t know where you’d gone.
I will be honest, I am intrigued by the offer of battle. I’ve always been one to cause a little chaos and bloodshed, if you remember.
I will hopefully be arriving there soon after you receive this letter.
See you soon,
Technoblade
Tommy grinned at the letter.
“..Tommy!” Wilbur shouted from upstairs.
Tommy darted up the stairs, careful of not falling off the side as he’d done before.
In front of the door stood Wilbur, eyeing another figure. Pink hair was all Tommy needed to see before realizing what was happening.
“Hullo.” Techno’s voice was much deeper, though his monotone way of speaking had stayed the same.
“Tommy, what did you do?”
“Uh.. Wil, you know that I’m just trying to help you?”
“This isn’t helping!”
“Wil, he’s a good fighter. He’s the blood god. Come on, he can help us!”
“We’re fine by ourselves!”
“No, we’re not! We’re not fine, Wil! I’m tired of you doing this thing you do! We need help, he can help!”
“Fine! See if I care!” Wilbur stormed off, back down the stairs.
Tommy sighed. “Hello there, Technoblade. Nice to see you again.”
“Likewise,” Technoblade seemed slightly confused.
“Sorry about Wil. He’s really stressed right now. And I kinda didn’t mention I invited you here.”
“..Alright then. Uhh.. So Tommy Innit-Soot now?”
“Yeah..Wil wanted to be Soot, and then when I moved here, I wanted to be Tommy Innit, but decided to just hyphen it.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah. We didn’t really want connection to Phil. So we changed it.”
“..Cool. Wanna fill me in on the past... whole of your life?”
“Yeah, come on, follow me.”
____
“You can’t keep running away! I get so fucking worried when you leave, do you know what happens when you do that?!” Wilbur shouted.
“Wil- Wil, I’m sorry-”
“I can’t function, Tommy! You leave, and I can’t.. I c-..” Wilbur trailed off, falling to the ground, breathing rapidly, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Wil, breathe-” Tommy sat down next to his brother, who was hyperventilating. “Come on, come on, Wil. Breathe with me – in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. Come on.” Tommy gripped Wilbur’s hand, holding it to his chest, hoping his heartbeat would help ground the elder.
Wilbur’s hyperventilation slowed slightly, before the hand resting on Tommy’s chest suddenly tightly gripped his shirt. He was pulled closer to Wilbur.
“I can’t have you doing that again. I’m sorry.” Wilbur whispered, grabbing Tommy’s hand, then yanking him up roughly, dragging him towards another room.
“Wil! Wil, you’re hurting my arm, let me g-”
“Shut up!” Wilbur shouted, before opening up a small room, and shoving Tommy inside.
The door shut and all light left the room. The sound of a lock clicking from the outside was heard. Tommy started to panic.
“Wilbur! Let me out, please!” He shouted, banging on the door, breathing becoming shallow. “Wil! Please, you know I’m claustrophobic, please!”
“I’ll let you out when you finally stop trying to leave me.” Wilbur’s voice sounded like he’d started crying.
____
“Shut up, Tommy! Tubbo betrayed you, why are you still fucking trusting him over me! I have stayed with you, I’ve been on your side!”
“Tubbo is my best friend! You’ve abandoned me before! I was 11 and you didn't contact me for 2 years! After you promised to never leave me after taking me from my childhood home, brother, and dad!”
“You’ve called me dad before by accident, Tommy, there is no way that you still think of Phil as your father!”
“I don’t! I really don’t! But I haven’t even seen you as my sibling for a while either! You aren’t the same person, you haven’t been since like 2 years after we moved out!”
“Yeah, that’s because I had to grow up! I couldn’t just stay as the 13 year old that you knew, okay?!”
“It wasn’t just that! You changed, you came home every day and you wouldn’t talk to me, or you’d pass out on the couch! And you got grumpy, and every day it got worse until I didn’t want to talk to you anymore! You pushed me away, Wilbur! Tubbo didn’t! Tubbo’s sorry!”
“Tubbo is lying to you! He’s manipulating you!”
“You’re manipulating me!”
“Oh, if you think this is manipulation, you’re wrong, buddy!”
“Fuck you!”
Tommy stormed off. He rushed out of the ravine. He felt tears building in his eyes and didn’t stop them from falling.
He curled against a tree. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t care. His breaths came in wheezes. He folded his knees up to his chest, starting to rock back and forth. He swallowed down a sob.
“Tommy?” A voice called. “Tommy, it’s Techno.”
Tommy hid his face in his knees.
“Theseus, can I touch you?”
Tommy nodded a bit. He felt arms wrap around him and unfolded his knees. Techno was hugging him. He gripped onto Techno’s shirt, hiding his face in his brother’s shirt.
“It’s gonna be okay, alright?” Techno muttered. “It’s gonna be fine.”
It took a few minutes for Tommy’s sobs to stop, and another few for his breathing to steady.
“What happened?”
“I don’t wanna go back, Techno. I just.. I wanna go home.”
“Home?”
“Tubbo. Tubbo, and old Wilbur, and.. and Niki and Jack, and Fundy, hell, even Eret. I just.. I want my family back, Techno.”
“I’m sorry, Theseus. I don’t think that can happen.”
Tommy choked out another sob. “I know.” He said. “But I wish it could.”
____
Wilbur felt awful. Tommy had been away. He’d been gone for a few hours with no word of where he’d gone.
He’d been so worried, so when the boy had come back with a large smile, talking about how he’d gone to see Tubbo, Wilbur was mad.
Tubbo had betrayed them. Tubbo had joined the enemy. Tubbo had changed his little brother. Tubbo was a problem.
But Tommy was so happy when he saw Tubbo.
It was unhealthy.
Tommy was so attached that it was a problem. Tubbo could use that against them.
It was bad.
So he snapped.
And he fucked up.
He watched Tommy run off. He watched as there was a flash of pink leaving the house. He walked to his room, shutting the door.
He felt numb.
He’d seriously fucked up.
_____
“I’m sorry, Tubbo. I’ll make this as painless and as colorful as possible.”
Tubbo_ Blew Up
Tommy’s world seemed to work in slow motion. The firework exploded. Technoblade jumped down. People were screaming and running. He felt Wilbur tugging on his arm.
He let himself be pulled along next to Wilbur.
He couldn’t register what was happening.
nononononoNOnoNONONO
Tubbo had just-
Technoblade just-
Tommy was hyperventilating again. He didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know where he was, his eyes were blurring with tears.
With the firework explosion, so too had his perception of Technoblade for the second time.
The next thing he knew, Wilbur was whispering something to him.
“Tommy, you’re safe. You’re okay, calm down.”
He slowly recognized the feeling of arms wrapped around him, blinking. Wilbur was hugging him. They were in Pogtopia.
“What’s.. What’s going on?”
“You just woke up.”
Tommy’s head was throbbing.
“From.. From what?”
“Uhh.. The fight you had in the pit, don’t you remember? You fought Techno for shooting Tubbo.”
“..What?”
“Tommy, are you okay?”
“No.. Nono, the last thing I remember is.. the festival and Tubbo.. Oh gods.. You’re fucking with me, you.. What?”
“..Tommy, that was hours ago. Maybe Techno hit you too hard… Hm.. Well, we need to plan our next move. Or explosion time maybe.”
“No!” Tommy took a deep breath. “No, we shouldn’t do that.”
“..Whatever. Come on.” Wilbur turned and walked out of the room.
_____
Tommy was having another panic attack.
“You’re never gonna be president, Tommy”
“Let’s be the bad guys”
“Tommy, shut up!”
“What happens in the pit, stays in the pit,”
“I’m the only one who cares!”
“I wanna blow it up, Tommy. I really.. really want to.”
His brother’s words played through his mind.
He didn’t know where anyone was.
Tubbo and Wilbur were gone. Techno was in the farm area.
Tommy was alone.
The door creaked open, and in came the scent of burnt nicotine and death.
“Tommy?” Wilbur called.
Tommy whimpered pitifully from the corner of the revine. Even he knew he sounded pathetic.
“Tommy. What did we say about sulking?” Wilbur said.
“..’M not sulking. I’m proper upset, and I’m expressing it in a healthy way.” Tommy said. His voice was shaky and he knew it was.
Wilbur seemed to process this statement for a moment, considering. “..If you say so, I suppose. Well, you can’t ‘healthily express your emotions’ for very long, because we need to plan for the closer growing revolution.” Tommy sniffled, hiding his face in his knees.
Wilbur sat on the edge of Tommy’s bed, watching. He framed what he did as keeping Tommy company, knowing he had issues with being alone.
Tommy had realized it was only so Wilbur could keep an eye on him whenever Wilbur saw fit.
And he had also realized he was equally alone, even with Wilbur in the room.
This was not the same man he once knew.
And he was entirely alone.
_____
Techno screamed something at him from across a giant crack in the ground from the sheer amount of explosives.
He caught words of ‘Theseus’ and ‘Exile’, and realized his brother was retelling the myth of the Greek Hero again.
Tommy hated Greek Mythology. Most had some sort of tragic end, or their death was spoken of. Or — in the case of the gods, — a loved one was killed.
Apollo, Perseus, Heracles, Theseus , Daedalus, Icarus, Achilles, Patroclus — all had died a tragic way, had a loved one die, or both.
Apollo and Hyacinthus was the one he remembered most vividly of Apollo’s supposed many lovers. He’d been killed and Apollo had watched as the life drained from his lover’s face, and had to mourn that. He’s created the Hyacinth flowers as a memorium.
Theseus — Hated and exiled by his entire people even though he’d saved them. Cast out, forgotten, abandoned. Alone.
Gods, no wonder that Theseus was his namesake.
Icarus — died, fell out of the sky just as he’d finally been freed. Daedalus’ life was full of tragedy.
Achilles and Patroclus had been in love, people said. Patroclus was killed and Achilles had to mourn for the man whilst in the middle of war, managing to avenge his lost partner before dying himself.
Greek heroes never got their happy ending.
But he wasn’t Greek. He was Theseus Danger Safety Kraken Innit-Soot. Why didn’t he get a happy ending? When was it his turn?
“If you wanna be a hero, Tommy.. Then die like one!” Manic laughter filled the air as two withers spawned into existence.
Screams.
Fireworks.
TNT.
Tommy started running.
“Tubbo! Fundy! Anyone!” He had to make sure his friends were safe. “Wil! Wilbur!”
Where was Wilbur, oh no-
Before he could finish his thought, he was blown backwards.
He landed in some water, watching as blocks and fabric was flying everywhere.
The whole place was being exploded.
Tommy’s heart sank.
He ran in the direction of the button room, jumping over stone and fallen bodies of the past citizens of L’Manburg — Over water spilling down into the explosion wounds of the earth, and passed the withers.
“Wilbur!” He shouted.
Tommy paused as he saw the scene which was unfolding in front of him.
Wilbur was on his knees, his hand positioned in a salute, which they’d jokingly called an ‘ o7’ in their times as the leaders of L’Manburg. He had a hole in the back of his jacket. Odd. He had blood dripping down his face.
Tommy blinked and looked at the other person. Expecting maybe Quackity, or even Schlatt — who he thought would totally be the type to just make it possible to simply not die — he got a shock when he saw the actual face standing above his brother.
Philza.
Philza, Tommy and Wilbur’s estranged father. The one who’d given Wilbur custody of Tommy with no fight. The one who’d abandoned them for months or even years at a time before they left.
Philza – once powerful warrior, feared, never one to lose his fighting spirit – was standing above Wilbur, a bloodied sword in hand, looking down at his equally blood-covered hands. He looked broken. This wasn’t the same man that Tommy had left in his childhood home.
Wilbur collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily.
In that moment, Tommy realized what had happened.
“Wilbur!” He screamed again, realizing far too quickly that there were arms wrapped around his waist, yanking him back.
He kicked and screamed, fighting as hard as he could. He needed to get to his brother, his brother was dying, he could already be dead, Tommy needed to get to him-
His train of thought was cut off by Quackity’s screams.
“Tommy! We need to get out of here, Tommy! Wil’s gone, I’m so sorry.”
“Tommy, please, let me help you.” Tubbo said, tightening his arms around Tommy, pulling him away. “We need to get out of the explosion area.”
Tommy broke down, going fully limp into Tubbo’s grip, and allowing his brain to fall into comfortable numbness.
_____
Years passed. Tommy hadn’t seen Wilbur in nearly 7 years. He was no longer the wimpy 15 year old that Wilbur knew. He’d seen some shit. He was now 22 and entirely given up.
He had tried to kill Dream, and now he was panicking as he ran back towards the area that people not-so affectionately called ‘the L’Mancrater’, possibly about to see a face he hadn’t in years.
There, stood in front of the sunrise, arms outstretched and tall, lanky frame nearly looking ethereal in the way the sun made him look like a mythological figure.
Wilbur Soot.
He walked towards the man, seeing him turn.
“Ah! Tommy, hello!”
Fuck.
Tommy had worked through his past trauma and looked back on how he was treated while in therapy. He’d realized about all the sort of questionable things that Wilbur had said when they were younger that ingrained into his head the start of trust issues. The things that had caused Tommy to be particularly susceptible to the later manipulation he’d faced from Dream, Techno, and even Wilbur himself.
Wilbur had been a problem, but he was still so fucking reliant on the memories and the ghost of his older brother.
He was starting to finally get over the feelings and he was healing. He was finally acknowledging how absolutely horrible he’d been treated by Wilbur in his life.
He held onto the good memories. He wasn’t ever able to let those go. Something like a lyric Wilbur had once sung.
Treating my memory of you like a fire, let it burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on.
Just as he’d finally been accepting it, of course he had to turn around and reface the man he’d been working on breaking the memories of.
Wilbur was smiling at him in particular Wilbur fashion. His eyes were a grey color, too familiar, like the storm clouds that constantly seemed to hang over the atmosphere in Pogtopia. His mouth had a scar on it from the wooden sword that Techno had hit him with when they were kids. His jacket was the same one as when he’d died.
Tommy took a deep breath.
“..Hi, Wilbur.” Tommy said.
“How are you, Tommy! Look! I’m alive!” Wilbur laughed, pressing his own hand against his chest, feeling his own heartbeat.
“..I can.. see that.” Tommy nodded, trying his best not to turn and bolt away.
“You don’t seem very pleased to see me, little brother.” Wilbur grinned. “Come on, come and give me a hug or something.”
“I don’t touch people.” Tommy said, wrapping his arms around himself.
“..Hm.. Interesting. Why’s that?” Tommy just shook his head, turning and walking away.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Wilbur called, rushing after him.
“What do you want, Wilbur?” Tommy sighed again.
“Show me around, bro! Fill me in on your life since I died! Show me what’s happened on the server!” Wilbur said.
“No. No, I’m not going to run back to you. I’m not like that anymore. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to attend to right now and you’re going to leave me alone.” Tommy started off towards Snowchester. He was supposed to babysit Michael and Benson today.
“Tommy, why can’t you just humor me, only a few minutes?”
“No, because my plans being canceled would cause other plans to be canceled, which I refuse to do again. I’ve missed it the past three times, not doing it again.”
“Aww, come on!”
“Fuck, fine! But you have to promise to leave me alone afterwards and do not touch me.” He leaned away from the hand that Wilbur had been reaching for his arm with.
Wilbur retracted his arm and nodded.
Tommy set off towards the rest of the Greater SMP, not particularly caring whether or not Wilbur followed.
The tour was dragged on and boring, but Tommy got through it rather quickly. “Now, I can give you Phil’s coords, and you can go and bother him.”
“Fine. But don’t think I’m not going to come and see you later.” Wilbur said, pulling out his communicator as Tommy messaged him the coordinates.
He turned back towards the direction of Snowchester, and made his way towards his best friends’ house. He was already a bit late and tonight was supposed to be Ranboo and Tubbo’s date night.
He knocked on the door, Tubbo opening it a moment later.
“Hey, Tommy. Come in.” Tubbo smiled.
“Hey, Tubbo.” Tommy said, walking inside of the house.
“What’s up?”
“..Wil’s alive. He’s alive and I really don’t know what to do with myself. So I think Michael is a good distraction right now.” Tommy said.
“You sure? How about we all chill here? We can watch The Office.” Tubbo grinned.
“Nah, man. You’ve put off this date night for far too long.” Tommy said. “I’m gonna be so great, the best uncle ever.”
“..Alright, bossman. Text if you’ve got any issues. And I mean any.”
“Hey, Tommy.” Ranboo said walking into the room.
“Mimi!” Michael yelled, rushing up to Tommy, hopping up and down excitedly.
“Hi, bud.” Tommy grinned at his nephew.
Michael was a smart kid. He’d picked up on the fact that his uncle Tommy (or Mimi as he was called) didn’t like to be touched, so refrained from doing so. He may not have been able to pronounce the word ‘Tommy’ but he could tell when Tommy needed a day to just sit and relax. Those were the days that they’d sit and watch cartoons together. Other days were filled with Legos (or Duplo, seeing as Michael was a toddler), and games of never-ending Hide-n-Seek.
Tommy had the best nephew.
He couldn’t let Wilbur get to him.
—
Tommy didn’t know what to do with himself. Half of him wanted to scream and run into Wilbur’s arms; to collapse against his warm grip and finally let out the tears that had been building ever since Pogtopia. The other half knew that was a terrible idea and wanted to entirely avoid Wilbur.
However, neither of the two extremes happened. Instead, he accidentally seemed to fall right back in line with what Wilbur told him to do.
“Get me stone, lots of it,”
He had. He’d gotten an entire double chest full.
“Come with me to visit Quackity,”
He had. That trip had left him confused as ever as the two voices of people he’d once looked up to shouted at him in the most manipulative ways he’d heard out of either in a long time.
Wilbur told me to, and I don’t say no to Wilbur.
His own words from his youth played in his mind. He had said it like it was a joke. It wasn’t.
“Don’t say no to me, Tommy. You don’t say no to me.”
YoudontsaynotoWilburYoudontsaynotoWilburYoudontsaynotoWilburYoudontsaynoto-
He shook his head. Fuck.
Fuck.
Truely and Utterly — Fuck.
—
Wilbur knew not to touch him. Wilbur knew.
So why had he done it?
“Tommy! Shut the fuck up!” Wilbur had shouted.
“And what, bitch! What are you going to do!”
Wilbur reached for him and Tommy flinched back so violently that he hit the wall of the burger van. Hands grabbed his face, one pressing way too close to his neck for his liking. He started to hyperventilate.
“Or that. Bitch. ” Wilbur mocked, one hand going to wrap tightly around his jaw.
Tommy was full on panicking now.
Dream holding his face.
Dream pressing their foreheads together.
Him coughing, Dream’s hands wrapped around his throat.
Dream’s piercing gaze staring directly into his eyes, forcing him to make eye contact as he carved a small smiley face into Tommy’s cheek, arm, and around where his collarbone was; pressing harder with the knife when Tommy made any sounds.
Dream hacking off Tommy’s middle finger as a punishment.
Logsted going up in smoke.
Mushroom Henry dead on the ground.
Tubbo’s acceptance of his own death.
Tommy wanting to kill himself.
Mexican Dream getting murdered.
Exile.
The tower.
Dream.
DreamDreamDreamDreamDream DreamDreamDreamDreamDre-
“Tommy!” A familiar voice called.
Tommy had collapsed against the ground, breathing coming in short wheezes, a blurry face in front of him.
“Tommy, it’s Ranboo. I need you to breathe for me.” Tommy choked out a sound, shaking his head. “Tommy please. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. You can do it.”
It could've been minutes or hours that Ranboo tried to help Tommy calm down. Eventually, the attempts were successful, and Tommy calmed down enough to promptly pass out into Ranboo’s arms.
He woke up on a familiar couch, a concerned couple looking at him.
“Hey.” Tommy whispered. He didn’t think he could use his voice very well right now. He signaled that to his friends.
“I said he’d probably go into a nonverbal episode.” Tubbo muttered. Ranboo nodded. “How you feelin, bossman?”
Tommy pulled out his comm, using the text-to-speech option to talk. “Not great, Big T.” The automated voice said.
“I’d assume. Want hot chocolate?” Tommy frantically nodded as Tubbo laughed and stood. Ranboo looked shaken.
Everything wrong was Wilbur’s fault.
____
Wilbur had done bad things in his life. He knew he had. He knew he had caused his family much, much more pain than they’d deserved. Well. Maybe Phil deserved what Wilbur had done. But that was neither here nor there.
Tommy had once looked at him like he’d hung the moon and the stars. Wilbur had always thought he’d take them all down if Tommy so much as asked. What had happened?
He tried his best to maintain his belief that he’d not done that much to Tommy. He hadn’t. He really hadn’t.
But deep down, he knew he’d entirely fucked up. He’d screamed at Tommy, hit him, locked him in closets, made him want to run away, and he’d purposefully triggered him several times. He had made Tommy want to die or do anything to escape the situation he was in, invalidated his feelings and trauma, stuff like that. He’d displayed way too many manipulative behaviors that even he’d noticed.
He just wanted his little brother to be safe and to be his.
Tommy not being with him – not caring about him and not needing to rely on him– was something he couldn’t handle the idea of. So he resorted to a more.. horrible way of keeping his little brother close. And now it had backfired.
He’d needed Tommy to need him. Because if he wasn’t needed by Tommy then what was he?
Wilbur didn’t know a lot of what had happened while he’d been dead, but he knew that he’d probably set the stepping stone for whatever sort of manipulation that Tommy had been exposed to when he was gone.
Wilbur felt horrible about what he’d done, and yet he really wanted to kill whoever’d done bad things to his little brother.
He wanted to help, but he knew that he wasn’t ever going to earn the trust back of his family. He had messed up, and he needed to take accountability for that, and he hoped he could manage that.
___
Tommy opened his door at the frantic knocking, rubbing his eyes. “Tommy!”
“..Wilbur.” Tommy said, louder than what was necessary.
Ranboo teleported behind him. “Hey, Tommy, who’s at the door- oh, hi Wilbur!” Ranboo said.
“Oh! I didn’t know you’d be here, Ranboo?”
“Yeah, I.. paid for this place to be built. Tommy moved in with me and Tubbo recently.”
“Oh.. Well, I was wondering if I could speak to Tommy in private.”
“That’s up to Tommy.” Ranboo said. Tommy’s new platonic partner looked at him, and Tommy considered.
“Whatever you say to me, I’m sure you can say in front of the guy with memory issues.” Tommy shrugged. “Tubbo’s out, you’re lucky. Don’t be too loud. Don’t touch me. Those are my conditions.”
“Okay, alright, fine.” Wilbur said.
Tommy turned and walked towards the living room. Ranboo gestured for Wilbur to come inside, and followed Tommy.
Wilbur awkwardly sat across from Tommy and Ranboo, who were holding hands, both looking nervous.
“Ranboo, nice to speak to you. Uh.. I just wanna start with a question that I hope isn’t too intrusive. What’s up with you two? What’s the relationship here?”
“We’re queerplatonic partners. Tubbo is as well.” Ranboo answered. Tommy nodded.
“..Alright, nice. Um.. Tommy, I wanted to.. apologize.”
Tommy’s head quirked to the side. What was Wilbur talking about?
“I’m.. I did very bad things to you. I continued to even after revival. I know that what I did was wrong, and I know I was absolutely horrible towards you. But I thought maybe you deserve an explanation.”
“..You were very bad.” Tommy muttered.
“I know. And I know my mental health and trauma isn’t an excuse, but it is an explanation. Losing Phil, Techno, friends in hypixel, friends here.. it made me scared of losing people, especially those closest to me. And that was you. The loss of my country and everything I’d clawed my way to power for.. it made me feel horrible and I had some kind of psychotic break or something similar. And I was always so paranoid that I was going to lose you. So I resorted to bad ways to keep you near me. And I opened you up to manipulation. And I caused issues. I’m so sorry.” Wilbur said.
Tommy was quiet. He opened his mouth a few times, before finally speaking. “I can’t forgive you, Wilbur. I knew you were attempting to keep me with you and were going about it the wrong way, but you still treated me horribly. You bring up so many bad memories for me. I’ve been working through it. But I’m not over it. I lost everyone I cared about. Techno betrayed me, Tubbo exiled me, Ranboo didn’t write to me anymore, no one visited — Hell, even Dre- I-” Tommy cut himself off, closing his eyes.
Ranboo gently squeezed Tommy’s hand as a sign of reassurance.
“I want you to give me space. And time. And then maybe after a while.. I can try to open myself up to forgiving you, Wilbur. But just never expect me to be like I was before, or for us to have the same relationship we once did.”
“All I ask is the possibility of a friendship again. I know we you may never view me as your brother again, but I care about you. So I hope you understand that, and that is all I need to say.” Wilbur said. “I’ll be off. Burgers to make, chicken wings to fry — you know how it is.”
“I’ll see you out. Toms, you’re gonna—”
“Boo, I’ll be okay for a few minutes.” Tommy smiled, letting go of Ranboo’s hand.
Ranboo nodded. “Come on, Wilbur.” Ranboo stood.
Wilbur followed the very tall enderman hybrid out towards the door of the mansion.
“Just know, if you do anything to him at all.. My husband has nukes. And I have a fire aspect sword that’s just begging to be used properly.” Ranboo said.
“Good to know. I don’t want to hurt Tommy anymore, so we’ll hope that none of those things will have to be used against me.” Wilbur gave a thumbs up.
“Good. Now, me and Tommy are making dinner tonight. Bye.” Ranboo opened the door and Wilbur stepped out.
He watched as the door closed and he started to walk back towards Phil’s house. With the words of the nearly 8ft enderman playing in his head, he vowed to never intentionally harm his little brother again.
He needed to become a better person. But he would change. If not for himself, then for his son.