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Sokka’s pretty sure he’s about to throw up. His hands are so sweaty that the ink on the paper he’s clutching has begun to smear. Usually, when he gets this anxious, he calls Zuko. He can’t really do that now, though, because--
“Sokka!” The door swings open to reveal Uncle Iroh. “How nice it is of you to visit! Zuko didn’t tell me you were coming over this evening. Come in!” Iroh guides Sokka inside. “We had chicken curry for dinner, would you like some? Azula didn’t eat her serving-- she’d eaten dinner out with Suki.” Iroh smirks. “If you ask me, I’d say those girls have some real chemistry. Azula insists Suki’s just a friend, but you and I both know how easily a friendship can blossom into something more… romantic.” He winks at Sokka. Sokka swallows back the bile that gathers in his throat.
“I don’t think I should eat right now, Uncle Iroh.”
“No appetite? Sokka, in my many years of knowing you, you’ve never turned down a plate of food. Should I be worried?” Iroh asks. “Are you feeling alright?”
“I-I’m fine. I just don’t plan on being here long.” This makes Iroh look even more worried than before. Sokka sighs, then shoves the piece of damp paper in his hand to Iroh. “I’m gonna give this to Zuko. I think. I don’t know. My hands got all sweaty and now it’s gross. Should I make him a new one? Can you even read my handwriting? Katara says my handwriting is illegible. I should’ve typed it. I thought it being handwritten would be more personal but now it just feels lazy--” Iroh briefly glances at the paper, sets it down, and grins.
“Sokka.” Iroh reaches out to grab Sokka’s hand, “Would you like a calming cup of tea?” Sokka’s never been a fan of tea, Iroh’s or not. He much prefers the man’s cooking. Right about now, though--
“That sounds lovely, actually.” Sokka sinks into the chair he’d been gripping as Iroh gets to work in the kitchen, calmly humming a tune to himself as he fills the kettle to boil. The dreaded letter sits on the counter, folded in half, crumpled around the edges. Sokka sighs and picks it up. “Did you think he’ll like it?” Iroh turns to him with a grin.
“Zuko likes just about anything you give him.” That makes Sokka’s stomach roll. He groans, buries his head in his hands. Iroh chuckles and ruffles his hair. “Young love is extraordinary and scary. It’s perfectly reasonable to be nervous.”
“I feel like I’m going to vomit.”
“I have the perfect blend for that.” Iroh takes a mug out of the cabinet-- one Sokka had made for Zuko years ago at a stupid pottery class Katara forced him to take. Fuck, what’s gonna happen to that mug if Zuko hates him after this? What’s gonna happen to all the stolen Jasmine Dragon t-shirts hanging in Sokka’s closet? If Zuko hates him bad enough, Sokka’s never going to be able to hang out with Azula and Mai and Ty Lee again. He’s really going to miss their Sunday shopping trips. Is he making a mistake? Katara and Aang said they thought it was a great idea, but those idiots also thought Sokka trying out Aang’s glider was a great idea. (It wasn’t. He ended up in the hospital with two breaks in his leg.) Shit, now his leg is acting up. Fuck. He shouldn’t do this, this was the worst idea he’s ever had in his entire-- “Your tea, Sokka.” Iroh places the mug in front of Sokka.
Sokka takes the cup, sniffs the tea, then chugs it all. It burns his throat going down, but Iroh said it would be calming. He needs all the calming he can get.
Sokka takes a long breath, stands and nods at Iroh. “If this goes badly, will you still play Pai Sho with me on Tuesdays?” Sokka asks. Iroh rounds the counter and crushes Sokka in a hug.
“It won’t go badly.” Iroh says. “And I plan to play Pai Sho with you until you can beat me.”
“Hey! I’ve beaten you before!”
“You cheated.”
“I didn’t cheat--”
“Should I go get my nephew for you, Sokka?” Iroh asks, gently placing the letter back into Sokka’s hands. Sokka goes silent. Finally, he nods. Iroh grins.
Zuko wanders into the kitchen with a confused look on his face. When he sees Sokka, he grins. Sokka’s heart does a backflip. Shit, he should’ve asked for another cup of tea.
“Hi.” Sokka says meekly.
“Hey,” Zuko replies, “is something going on? Uncle was acting all weird, and you didn’t tell me you were coming over-- are you alright? You look, um, sweaty?” Sokka wants to die.
“Yeah, no yeah, I’m fine, I just. Um.” Sokka’s hands are shaking now. He looks around the small apartment, sees that the door to Iroh’s room is cracked. Okay, this is ridiculous. He can see Iroh peering out at them through the small crack, grinning and giving Sokka a thumbs up. Sokka smacks his forehead with his hand. “Could we maybe go to your room?”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure.” Zuko turns to climb the stairs he’d just descended, Sokka following behind him. “You’re acting-- weird. Is your leg okay?” Zuko asks. Sokka waits until they’re in Zuko’s bedroom, with the door securely closed, before he looks at Zuko. Zuko looks-- well, Zuko looks like he just woke up from a nap. His hair is a mess, he’s got pillow marks on his cheek, there’s a little orange spot of curry on his chin. He’s wearing Sokka’s old hoodie-- bright blue and obnoxious. Sokka knows he’s staring. He just can’t help it. He’s seen Zuko in this state countless times before, but he’s never really given himself permission to feel it.
Zuko tosses a pillow at Sokka. “Dude, you’re freaking me out.” Zuko laughs.
Sokka takes a deep breath.
“Okay.” He says. “Okay, here I go.” Sokka takes one last glance at Zuko, just in case. Fuck, Zuko’s pretty. How has it taken him this long to do something about it? Sokka shakes his head. “Uh. I have something to tell you.” He says. Zuko freezes. Sokka pulls the letter out of his pocket. His hands are shaking so hard it takes two tries to unfold it. “I was, um. Going to like, tell you from the heart. But you know I’m not good at, uh, public speaking. So, I wrote it down? And I was just going to give it to you, but looking at it-- my hands were shaking pretty hard when I was writing it and my handwriting’s already shit to begin with so-- I’m just going to. Uhm. Read it to you.”
“Sokka, what--”
“Zuko.” Sokka’s voice squeaks. He cringes, clears his throat, and tries again. “Zuko. I think I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. I didn’t know it at the time-- back then you had that horrible bald ponytail haircut, and I refused to believe I could have feelings for someone whose sense of style was that awful. But... I think I fell in love with you the first time I made you laugh. Do you remember? I was determined to make you my best friend after you beat up Hahn for kicking sand in my face. I walked you home from school every day that week, talking and annoying the shit out of you. You didn’t talk back, but you didn’t tell me to fuck off either. Then finally, you laughed. I don't remember what I said or did, but I remember your smile. It was the prettiest smile I’d ever seen. I even forgot you had that horrible haircut for a second.
“I finally admitted I had feelings for you about three years later. I was doing pretty good keeping it under wraps-- at least I thought I was. Katara says she’s known forever, but I don’t believe it. I didn’t even know until I broke my leg. In the hospital, Aang and Katara were freaking out, kept apologizing. Dad kept tearing up, saying he was so glad I was okay. I just wanted to keep everybody happy. And I did. I didn’t cry at all, until you showed up. You sat by my bed, waited until we were alone, and asked me how I was doing. I started crying, I couldn’t help it. It was embarrassing and gross, and I wasn’t even in pain, but you just held my hand and played with my hair. I cried until I fell asleep. When I woke up, you were still there, passed out in your chair, still holding my hand.
“For a long time I thought I could get over my feelings. But it’s been a few years since I realized I'm in love with you, and it’s only gotten worse. I love the way you smile. I love your hair. I love the cute face you make when you're focused at work making tea, and the grumpy face you make when you're talking to customers. I love listening to you talk. I love talking to you. I love... you.
“PS I was the one who put the butterflywasp's nest in Jet’s car after you guys broke up. I’d do it again, too. I hate seeing you cry.”
Sokka takes a deep breath. Zuko was quiet for the whole letter. Sokka hadn’t been brave enough to sneak a peek at his reaction. Carefully, slowly, he folds up the paper, puts it in his pocket, then looks up.
Zuko looks… green. Sokka was expecting… basically anything else.
“Zuko?” Sokka asks. There’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and his eyes look glossy when he locks eyes with Sokka. “Uhm. Are you… okay?”
“Yeah, I just… You… love me?”
Sokka chokes. “Uh, y-yeah.” Fuck this is it. He’s ruined the best friendship he’s ever had. Zuko looks like he’s gonna be fucking sick, and he’s gonna be sick at the thought of Sokka loving him. Shit, Sokka’s going to be sick too. Fuck, he fucked up. Oh shit, this was a fucking mistake. “I’m so sorry, this was so stupid of me I don’t know what I was thinking, I should lea-- Zuko!” Zuko’s eyes roll back, and he collapses.
Oh. Fuck.
Sokka just fucking killed Zuko.
He stands in shock for about two seconds before he bursts into tears.
“Uncle Iroh!” He screams. “ Zuko’s-- He’s-- Uncle Iroh there’s something wrong with Zuko!” Sokka’s on his knees, hands on Zuko’s face. He can vaguely hear the sound of Iroh’s door downstairs slamming open, the sound of his heavy feet running up the stairs, but the only thing he really registers is the small grumble Zuko lets out. He’s still alive, thank the fucking spirits.
Uncle Iroh’s in the doorway in a flash. “What? What happened?” He shuffles into the room, immediately falling on his knees next to Sokka.
“I-I-I don’t know I read him th-the letter and he-- he-” Iroh quickly scans the situation over with his eyes before a calm settles over his face. He turns his body from Zuko toward Sokka, to rest a hand on his shoulder.
“Sokka, Sokka, breathe. Breathe with me.”
“Wha- But- Zuko! I- I fucking killed him! I mean f-freaking. Shit. Fuck. Sorry. Is he okay?!”
Iroh chuckles. “Just focus on breathing Sokka. Everything is fine. You did nothing wrong.” Iroh takes a deep breath, keeping steady eye contact with Sokka. Slowly, he begins to calm down. His tears begin to dry, he wipes his face with both hands. “This happens from time to time.”
“Wha?” Sokka asks, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Iroh reaches into his back pocket to pull out a handkerchief, hands it to Sokka over Zuko’s unconscious body. Sokka’s pretty sure he’s in a nightmare right now.
“It happened more often when he was young, though I’m not surprised it’s happening now.” Iroh winks at Sokka. “Only when he’s especially surprised or shocked. I remember the last time this happened was when I got him front row tickets for ‘Love Amongst the Dragons’ on his twelfth birthday. On his way down, he hit his head on the kitchen table. He had to get stitches once he woke up, but he was smiling the entire time we were in the hospital.”
“So… this just… happens to him?” Sokka asks.
“From time to time, yes.”
“Well… how long until he wakes up?” Iroh chuckles.
“Any minute now.” Iroh gently brushes Zuko’s bangs off his forehead. The pair of them sit in silence watching Zuko for a minute. Sokka’s gotten his breathing under control by now, he dries his face one final time with Iroh’s handkerchief before shoving it in his pocket. When he looks back, Iroh has a sly smirk on his face. “So… how did it go?” Sokka rolls his eyes at the nosy old man.
“I mean. I read him the letter, then he passed out. It was pretty bad.” Iroh chuckles.
“It’ll be a great story to tell at your wedding.” Iroh is wiggling his eyebrows at Sokka, and Sokka can’t help but laugh a little. From beneath the two of them, Zuko mumbles. Iroh continues petting his hair as Zuko begins to stir.
“Uncle?” Zuko asks.
“Welcome back, nephew.” Zuko groans, rubs his face.
“What happened?” He asks. He starts to sit up, and finally opens his eyes. The second he sees Sokka, his face loses all its color again. “Fuck.” Zuko says.
“Is he gonna pass out again?” Sokka whispers to Iroh. Iroh’s got a hand on Zuko’s back, holding him up as Zuko begins to hyperventilate.
“Oh Agni, this is fucking humiliating.” Zuko groans. Iroh falls into another round of laughter, rubbing Zuko’s back and smiling at Sokka. “Sokka I’m so sorr-”
“I hate to interrupt, boys, but perhaps I should leave before you have this conversation.” Zuko blushes, shooing his uncle away. Iroh rises, ruffles Zuko’s hair, and makes his way to the door. “Well… I’ll just be downstairs… cleaning the kitchen…”
“Get out of here Uncle.”
“I’m an old man Zuko, you know my body moves slowly.” Zuko rolls his eyes as Iroh slowly pulls Zuko’s bedroom door closed. “Have a good chat.” He winks at Sokka before finally clicking the door shut, leaving Zuko and Sokka alone. Again.
Zuko watches the door until he hears the sound of Iroh’s footsteps descend the stairs, then he deflates. He buries his head in his hands and groans. “This is so embarrassing.” He whispers. Sokka laughs. Zuko swats Sokka on the shoulder. “Don’t laugh! This is horrible! I’ve been fantasizing about this moment for years and then it actually happens and I pass out?! What the fuck is wrong with me?” Zuko is glaring at his lap. Sokka chokes.
“Years?” Sokka asks softly. Zuko’s eyes snap up to meet Sokka’s.
“What?”
“You said you’ve been ‘fantasizing about this moment for years.’” Sokka repeats. Slowly, he feels a smile crawl up his face. Zuko looks even more horrified.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You just said it!” Sokka cackles.
“No I didn’t!” Zuko reaches out to swat Sokka again, but Sokka catches his wrist. Zuko’s eyes go wide, so Sokka doesn’t let go. Instead, he takes Zuko’s hand in his and scoots closer to him. “You… you’re stupid.” Zuko says. Sokka grins.
“Stupid for you, maybe.” Zuko giggles.
“That was corny.”
They’re quiet for a few seconds. Sokka can’t take his eyes off Zuko, while Zuko keeps looking at Sokka, blushing, then looking away.
“So… how’re you feeling?” Sokka finally asks.
“Mm. My head hurts.”
“Shit, did you hit it?” Sokka starts to get up, maybe to get ice, a glass of water or something, but he doesn’t get far, because Zuko pulls him back down on the ground.
“I didn’t hit it.” Zuko says. Sokka relaxes. “I just. You know. Maybe it needs a kiss to feel better.” Zuko shrugs.
Oh. Shit.
“Oh. Yeah, well. I could go get your Uncle to take care of that for y--”
“Shut up!” Zuko laughs. Sokka smiles at him. “Are you gonna kiss it better or not?”
Sokka leans forward and gently pecks Zuko’s forehead. “Better?” He asks softly. Zuko glares at him.
“A little. I think. You know. My lips hurt too.” Zuko’s face is bright red, and his eyes are locked on Sokka’s lips. Sokka can’t help but grin.
“How come I’m the one who's gotta make the first move here? Last time I tried that, you passed out. Maybe it’s better for your health if you kiss m--hmf!”
It’s a shitty kiss. Zuko’s depth perception is shit with his burnt eye, and he vastly overestimates how big the gap between the two of them is-- resulting in Sokka being pushed to the ground and Zuko falling on top of him. When they hit the floor, Zuko’s tooth knocks into Sokka’s lip, and Sokka’s pretty sure it’s split open now. Zuko must taste the blood, because he pulls back and looks horrified. Well, that won’t do. Before Zuko can begin spiraling over hurting Sokka, Sokka reaches up, one hand on each side of Zuko’s face, and pulls him back down.
This time, it’s much better. Zuko tastes like curry and tea. His lips are soft and warm and when Sokka moves his hand to Zuko’s hair, Zuko whines. Sokka could die happy. Right here, right now.
This is the best moment of Sokka's life.
They kiss for what feels like forever, until a clattering in the hallway makes them jump apart. They both look at the door and see Iroh’s retreating shadow in the crack at the bottom of the door.
Sokka begins to cackle. Zuko buries his face into Sokka’s neck, groaning and cursing his nosy uncle. Sokka wraps his arms around Zuko’s back and kisses his head.
“I think he’s cute.” Sokka says.
“He’s embarrassing.”
“He’s excited for us!”
“He’s excited because he and Azula have a bet going on how long it’d take for us to get our shit together.” Sokka grins.
“Well, who wins?”
“Neither, I don’t think. They bet on me confessing to you. Which… probably would’ve gone way better than this did.” Zuko flails a hand out to gesture to their entire general situation. “Sorry about that, by the way.”
“What, for not confessing your undying love for me sooner?” Sokka teases. Zuko pinches him, Sokka squeals.
“No, asshole. For passing out. That was so embarrassing.”
“It was… unique.”
“It was horrible.”
“Well… you want a re-do?” Sokka asks, blinking up at Zuko’s blushing face.
“A re-do?”
“Sure. I could confess to you again, right now, and you could. Not pass out. And react the way you’ve always fantasized you would.” Zuko groans.
“I can’t believe I said that.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
Zuko looks down at Sokka, a warm smile spreading across his face. “Fine. Let’s re-do it then.” Sokka grins.
“Zuko.” He begins. Zuko’s smile widens. Sokka reaches up and tucks some of Zuko’s hair behind his ear. “Zuko. I’m in love with you. So much. I think you’re a very good kisser. And you have amazing hair. And nobody’s ever made me feel this gooey inside. And, honestly, you could bring back the bald ponytail look and I’d still be weak for you. It’s that bad. It’s always been this bad. I’ve loved you forever. I want to take you on dates and kiss you in front of our friends and adopt like six cats with you and be with you forever. I know that’s a lot, but. You make me feel a lot. Plus, I’m pretty sure your Uncle’s already planning our wedding.” Zuko giggles, and Sokka can’t stop himself from raising his head up and kissing him again. “I’m in love with you Zuko. You wanna be my boyfriend?”
Zuko’s grinning, blushing, and rolling his eyes. “You’re so stupid.”
“That’s a horrible answer. You’re ruining our re-do!” Zuko laughs. “Come on, Zukes, woo me like you would in your fantasy.”
“My fantasy is usually like. Me rescuing you from a burning building or something. But um. I guess, I mean. I know that-- well. Ugh. This isn’t fair, you got to write yours!” Zuko takes a deep breath, then tries again. “I’ve been in love with you since the first day you walked me home.” Sokka gasps. Zuko smiles. “I think. I think you’re the smartest person I know. And also like, the dumbest. And nobody makes me laugh like you. And you’re so pretty, it really isn’t fair. And you’re a good kisser too. Sorry I hurt your lip. Sorry I passed out. Sorry about my uncle. I um. I’d love to be your boyfriend. I uh. You know. I love you. I’ve loved you forever. I think I’ll love you always. You’re, you know, my best friend.” Zuko wipes a tear off of Sokka’s cheek.
“Best friend and boyfriend.” Sokka jokes. Zuko grins.
“Yeah. My best boyfriend.” Sokka beams, kisses Zuko hard, then pulls away.
“Best boyfriend. That works.”