Work Text:
Thanatos is immersed in his book when the doorbell rings suddenly, startling him. He checks his watch; who’s looking for him at 11pm!? It has to be a mistake, maybe someone got the wrong door, so he goes back to his book, hoping they go away. However, that is very much not the case, the ringing becoming incessant, and Thanatos goes to the door, ready to tell off whoever is on the other side. What he doesn’t expect on the other side is his friend Zagreus, soaked to the bone from the storm outside, a sheepish smile on his face, shaking water out of his wet hair like a dog.
“Hi, Than,” he says.
“Zag.” Thanatos gets out of the way, signalling for Zagreus to come in. He does so, toeing off his shoes as Thanatos closes the door behind him.
“Sorry for coming in so late, I just need to charge my phone enough to get an Uber and I’ll get out of your hair.” Zagreus takes off his jacket, seemingly struggling to lift his right arm while doing so, and hangs it on the coat rack; it’s so wet it’s dripping on the floor under it.
“You will do none of that. You’ll catch a cold if you go out again.”
“I don’t want to impose. Well, not more than I already am, anyway. You’re just… the only person I could think of in the area.”
Thanatos struggles to respond to that. Their relationship has been strained recently, but even so, Zagreus has never been one to shy away from him like this, have him as a last resort. Before, he used to always come to him, and Thanatos was eager to help in any way he could, but now he thinks he’s imposing? Thanatos supposes he has been quite cold to Zagreus ever since he decided to run away, but he never thought Zagreus would distance himself from Thanatos quite like this because of it.
Zagreus seems to take his silence the wrong way, though, because the next thing he says is, “Nevermind. I’ll figure something out.”
“No.” Thanatos grabs his arm as it reaches for his jacket. “I-I mean, like I said, you can’t go out in this storm, Zag.”
Damn all these complicated feelings. Thanatos lets his arm go, looking into his eyes. Zagreus seems relieved, but doesn’t maintain eye contact. It makes Thanatos’ stupid heart ache.
“Thanks. Where’s your charger?”
“Zag, what part of ‘you can’t go back out there’ don’t you understand? Stay here tonight.” Thanatos’ tone is much harsher than he intends, but he hopes it will get to Zagreus.
“...Are you sure, Than? You still want to help me, even after I basically ruined our friendship?”
Is that really what he thinks? Sure, it would all be much easier if Zagreus hadn’t run away, but Thanatos would follow him anywhere in a heartbeat, be by his side no matter what. He tries to tell him as much, but there’s suddenly a lump in his throat, holding the words hostage.
“Go take a shower,” is what he says instead, pointed. “And give me your clothes, I’ll put them in the wash.”
“...Thank you, Than.”
Zagreus begins undressing right there, in the middle of the hallway—never shy, this one—and Thanatos averts his gaze from his body as best he can. He doesn’t need to deal with his attraction to Zagreus right now (or ever, really). Still, he can’t help but notice the bruise on his right shoulder, and it suddenly makes sense that he was struggling to take off his jacket earlier.
“Everything you need should be in the bathroom, but let me know if you need anything else,” Thanatos says, cringing at how much of a host he sounded like, as if Zagreus hasn’t been in his apartment ever before. As if it isn't basically his second home at this point.
Zagreus just nods and heads into the bathroom. As Thanatos turns on the washing machine, he hears the water start running and Zagreus’ smooth singing voice carrying an unfamiliar but soothing tune. He sits back down in his armchair, letting it become a pleasant background noise as he returns to his book.
He barely gets a few pages in before Zagreus distracts him again. “Than? Could you give me a hand?” Thanatos sighs, but obliges, walking into the bathroom. There is a sudden change in temperature, and there is so much steam Thanatos can barely see through it at first.
“Could you, um, wash my hair? I can’t lift my arm properly.”
This time, Thanatos gets a good look at his shoulder. The bruise seems to have been there for a few days already, splotches of purple intertwined with yellows and blues. He instinctively reaches out a hand, gingerly brushing his fingers on it. Zagreus shivers—maybe because it hurts, maybe because Thanatos’ hands are just cold, he doesn’t know. He retracts his hand and reaches out for the shampoo, pouring some into his hand.
“Turn around for me?” he asks, his tone much more gentle than it has been so far today.
Zagreus obliges, and sits down on the edge of the bathtub, the shower spraying on his thighs. Thanatos begins to wash his hair, careful not to hurt him by pulling at it or scratching his scalp. Zagreus relaxes into the touch, a sigh escaping his lips. Because of the way they’re sitting, Thanatos is making a mess of the floor and his pants, but it doesn’t matter. He makes sure to lather the shampoo properly, reaching every spot including behind his ears and the back of his neck.
“Thank you, Than.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me. We’re friends, Zag.”
Zagreus tenses for a moment before relaxing again. “Sorry. Force of habit, I guess.”
“...It’s okay.” He tries to gather his thoughts for a second. “What I wanna say is… I’m helping you because I want to, Zagreus. I still consider you my friend. Stand up.”
Zagreus stands up, and Thanatos grabs the shower head, rinsing off the shampoo, trying to get as little water on himself as possible. He brushes his fingers through Zagreus’ hair, perhaps a bit too tenderly for someone who’s just helping out a friend.
“Even after everything that happened? After everything I did?” Zagreus asks, his voice small.
“You had to do what you had to do. I’m not gonna pretend to be happy about it, but… I won’t abandon you, Zag.”
I love you too much for that remains unsaid, but he hopes it comes across anyway.
“Thank you, Than.”
“Now, what did I say about thanking me?”
Zagreus chuckles, and the tension between them eases just a little. “Okay, okay, got it.”
He doesn’t ask Thanatos, but he knows he’ll need it, so he takes some shower gel and begins rubbing it over his shoulders and back, careful around the bruise.
“How did you even get this?” he asks as he washes his right shoulder.
“I may have tried to jump out of a window.”
“You what!? Zagreus…”
Zagreus laughs again. “Not my proudest moment. I’m just glad it isn’t broken.”
Thanatos turns him around, washing his chest as well. Touching Zagreus like this, it feels wrong, like something Thanatos hasn’t earned, but also so right, his hot skin a perfect contrast to his cold hands. Thanatos doesn’t realise how close he is to Zagreus until he feels the water running on his T-shirt. He takes a step back, then begins rinsing him off, pointedly ignoring the way Zagreus was leaning towards him, his eyes closed, lips slightly parted.
“Tha—” Thanatos glares at him, which makes Zagreus clear his throat. “I, uh. Took care of the rest.” He takes the shower head from Thanatos and puts it back in its place before turning it off. Thanatos grabs two towels and hands them to him, and Zagreus gets out of the tub and begins drying himself off.
“I’ll go get you some clothes,” he says, and doesn’t wait for a response before heading into the bedroom to find something for him.
His hands feel colder than usual as he rummages through his drawers, no longer touched by Zagreus’ warmth. He feels like he’s crossed a boundary between them that shouldn’t have been crossed; their already strained relationship didn’t need any more fuel added to its fire. Maybe he should’ve just let Zagreus charge his phone and let him go on his way, but he would’ve been so worried about him in this storm, still raging outside like never before. No, it’s definitely good that he helped, his feelings be damned.
He finds some clothes for Zagreus just as he walks into the bedroom, towel tied around his waist as if there is a sudden need for modesty. He hands them to him wordlessly, then changes his own wet clothes at the same time as him. He can feel Zagreus’ eyes on him, taking him in. And it shouldn’t be intimidating, they’ve seen each other like this countless times, but somehow it’s different now. Thanatos finds himself wishing things could just go back to the way things were between them, though he knows it’s impossible.
He glances at the clock. It’s already past midnight, the storm outside still unrelenting. At least it’ll make for good white noise.
“Let’s just go to sleep,” Thanatos says, heading to the bed.
Zagreus looks at the clock too. “Oh, yeah, it’s late. Sorry I’ve kept you up. Good night, Than,” he says, turning around. For the second time tonight, Thanatos grabs his arm before he leaves.
“Come on, Zagreus, it’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before. The couch is gonna be too hard on your shoulder.”
Zagreus turns around, which compels Thanatos to let go. His hand tingles where it was wrapped around Zagreus’ arm. Neither of them say anything else, instead just getting into the bed, leaving a considerable amount of distance between them. It’s cold.
“Good night, Zag,” Thanatos says before turning off the lamp. He faces away from Zagreus, afraid of what he might say or do if he looks at him.
“Night, Than.”
It’s silent for a few minutes, but Thanatos is no closer to falling asleep. He can already feel that this will be a sleepless night. He turns around, only to find Zagreus looking at him. Even in the dim moonlight, he can see tears in his eyes. As soon as he notices Thanatos facing him, he averts his gaze, wiping at his eyes.
“Zag…”
“Go to sleep, Than.”
“Can’t sleep. What’s wrong…?”
Zagreus shakes his head. “Nothing to trouble yourself with.”
“Bullshit, Zag.” The harshness in his tone returns, and Zagreus flinches. Thanatos turns on the lamp without taking his eyes off him. He softens, then gets a bit closer to him, wiping his tears with his thumbs. “Just… tell me.”
Zagreus takes in a shuddering breath. Thanatos doesn’t know what to expect.
“I just… I feel like I’m taking advantage of you, Than. I don’t deserve all your kindness, not after everything I did.”
“Zag—”
“And I, um. I know this is a terrible time to lay this on you, but… I like you, Than,” he whispers, and Thanatos almost has to strain to hear it.
“You… like me?”
Thanatos’ heart starts beating in his chest, mind clouded with all the thoughts he’s been having about Zagreus, the ones he hasn’t allowed himself to dwell on in fear of losing his friend even more than he already has. Thoughts of holding his hand, holding him, kissing him, pleasuring him, but also just being by his side in the most mundane of moments, like cooking in the kitchen while Zagreus talks his ear off about something or other.
It’s overwhelming, so when Zagreus nods, eyebrows furrowed in worry, all Thanatos can think to do is kiss him. He holds his face gingerly, all his repressed feelings surfacing on his lips, all the words they haven’t said to each other communicated through the gesture. His other hand finds his way to Zagreus’ still wet hair, bringing him close, keeping him close. Zagreus kisses him back, and Thanatos wishes so much he’d done this sooner. He never wants their lips to part, never wants to be separated from Zagreus.
Unfortunately, they do have to break the kiss eventually, but Zagreus’ hands find their way to Thanatos’, holding them tightly. He smiles, a beautiful sight, then pecks his nose before breaking into a fit of giggles.
“What’s so funny?” Thanatos asks, but he’s laughing too. Zagreus’ laughter is contagious.
“Nothing, nothing. Does that mean you like me too?”
“What else would it mean, you deadbeat?”
Zagreus laughs again, and it rings in the room, in Thanatos’ ears. He steals some of it with his lips; Zagreus doesn’t seem to mind.
“We should probably talk about this in the morning, but… be my boyfriend, Than?”
“I… Yes. I will.”
Zagreus holds him close, his warmth comforting, enveloping Thanatos. He lays his head on Zagreus’ good shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist and legs intertwining with his. It’s everything Thanatos has been missing for so long.
It’s not a sleepless night, after all.