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ne'er do wells

Summary:

The fic where Stede Bonnet runs into Pirate!Aziraphale at a bookshop and Edward Teach looks on and pines. Crowley has some words of wisdom, but I'll leave it up to your imagination on whether Edward accepts them.

"“Don’t want any trouble, just looking for…” Ed paused despite himself. What was Stede? Not his mate, not by a long shot despite all his wishes. His co-captain aboard the Revenge for certain, but that would take too long to explain. “My crewmate.”

“Sure, and you just thought he’d be in the restricted loft of the finest bookshop? Pirates doing a lot of reading these days?”"

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Edward Teach was the most feared pirate in the Caribbean. He knew these waters and the islands that dotted them as well as he knew his own ship. Or so he told himself as he hurried through the streets of Charlestown on Nevis.

The truth was, it felt like his entire world had turned upside down these last few weeks and a part of him wondered if he knew anything at all. Though he had sought Stede Bonnet out, it felt as if the man had burst like a cannonball through the side of the Queen Anne’s Revenge. Surely the feeling would be the same if a roundshot had hit him in his gut.

All of that had led to this moment, searching through the town for a hint of blue as he tried to discover where his companion had gone. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Stede to take care of himself, despite everything he seemed quite capable of doing so as if the gods themselves smiled on him. Yet danger loomed, and it seemed around every corner fate tried to yank the blond from his grips as if this too was some piece of beauty that Ed could never have.

He knew he was overreacting in his worry. Lucius had said Stede was after a book, something about new bedtime stories for the crew. There was only one bookshop in this busy city, and Ed slid inside quickly.

“You seen a blond pirate? Wearing a blue jacket?” He growled at the proprietor

The man pointed towards a staircase leading to a second floor. Fancy place indeed if it had two levels of wares.

It was only after he bounded up the first few stairs that Ed wondered if this could be a trap. As if confirming his suspicions as he rounded the banister at the top step, a lithe redhead slipped from the shadows barring his way. A dagger held firmly in the other man’s hand just barely brushed Ed’s chest threateningly. The pirate was aware the man’s good graces were the only reason he still lived, and that only terrified him for one reason: Where was Stede?

“You lot just don’t give up easily, do you? Not that he needs it, but the blond pirate is under my protection. Get out of here.” The redhead’s voice was calm, but there was a hint of promised menace under it. He couldn’t make out the man’s eyes behind a pair of dark glasses.

The words didn’t tally, and again that feeling of the world being topsy-turvy washed over Ed. He would have remembered this man as crew aboard the Revenge. The way he held himself promised pain if he were challenged. And the fact that he could get the drop on Ed, even as distracted as he was, meant he was a better fighter than any onboard Stede’s vessel.

“Don’t want any trouble, just looking for…” he paused despite himself. What was Stede? Not his mate, not by a long shot despite all his wishes. His co-captain aboard the Revenge for certain, but that would take too long to explain. “My crewmate.”

“Sure, and you just thought he’d be in the restricted loft of the finest bookshop? Pirates doing a lot of reading these days?”

“He reads,” Ed growled, annoyed at the questioning of his friend. Stede was smart, fuck what this asshole in front of him thought. His hand traced down to his sword hilt. “Just want to know if Stede Bonnet’s here. That’s all.”

The redhead froze at the name, and a hand clamped down on the man’s shoulder.

A gentler voice spoke from behind the menacing pirate. “Please, forgive my partner. He’s being a smidgen overprotective .”

“The last time you walked into a bookshop—”

“I know, I know. But please, dear. You’re blocking the aisle.”

The lithe pirate frowned but stepped aside and Ed met the kind eyes of a blond man in a blue jacket. The newcomer’s gaze felt as if it were looking into his very soul, measuring him. A small smile crossed his face and Ed wondered at the feeling he’d passed some sort of test he was ill-equipped for.

“You wouldn’t by chance be Stede’s Edward, would you?”

Stede’s Edward. Those words ricocheted around his heart. Could he be? Would he want to belong to someone like that? His traitorous thoughts screamed yes, yes absolutely. If it were Stede’s, he most certainly would. He couldn’t find the words to answer, but the blond in front of him seemed to accept this as one nonetheless.

“Ah, yes. It’s written all over your face, and you’re just as he described you.”

He described me? Ed was aware of both of their eyes on him, taking in every expression. “Y-yeah. Stede, he around here?”

The well-dressed blond gestured back a few rows of books and Ed used it as an excuse to nod and make his escape. A moment later he laid his eyes on Stede Bonnet, precariously balancing a stack of books in his arms a wide smile on his face. The feeling of tension across his chest loosened immediately, as it always seemed to do when the gentleman pirate was near.

“Oh! What a surprise, having you here. Could you hold some of these a moment for me?”

Half of the books were haphazardly shoved into Ed’s waiting arms as Stede walked past him, eyes still half-buried in a book clasped tightly in one hand. “Aziraphale was able to convince the shopkeeper to let us see his private stores, I’m not quite sure how! But we both found a bounty today. I invited him back to the Revenge for supper, he and his partner seem as if they’d be delightful company. And he’s quite fond of honey cakes we’re planning for dessert this evening. Ed, are you coming?” Stede had stopped at the end of the row, waiting patiently for Ed to remember how to move his feet.

Just one foot after the other, he could do this. Stede was not going to destroy his ability to walk, for fucks sake.

Stede continued chattering about authors and stories that Ed had never heard of. It was beautiful, just like the pirate before him. The two men from upstairs waited at the door for the pair and as they exited, Aziraphale locked arms with Stede leaning in to continue a conversation about poetry.

Ed followed a few paces behind and to his surprise, the redhead sauntered to his side.

“Name’s Crowley,” he said lightly, “Angel said I should apologize for scaring you upstairs, but I don’t think I was what had you all that worried. Told him Blackbeard was certainly made of hardier stuff.”

Ed didn’t have a reply to that, so he opted to not answer. Instead, he kept his eyes on Stede as they walked, watching the man’s gait as they made their way through the city and towards the docks.

“You two been together long?”

“Together?”

“You’re…” Crowley let out a sigh. “Bit of advice, mate. Just tell him. Don’t wait as long as I did.”

“Tell him what?” Ed groused. It was one thing for Lucius to intervene, it was a different matter for this utter stranger to think he understood what was going on between the two pirate captains.

They passed a small church and Ed caught sight of the water’s edge. In front of him, Aziraphale’s hand raised in a large gesture as he said something to Stede and the pair of them clasped hands as they continued on. Jealousy flared through him.

At his side, Crowley chuckled. “Don’t mind Aziraphale. He’s easy to like.”

“Don’t mind anything.” Oh, but he did. Who was this pirate captain to swoop in and entice the man he’d been so carefully courting? Except he wasn’t, that was nonsense. He was Blackbeard for fucks sake. He took what he wanted, he didn’t court. “Stede’s free to spend his attention where he wants. Makes sense he’d prefer the attention of someone a bit more…”

When he didn’t answer, Crowley supplied words for him. “Refined? Or maybe polished? Were you looking for a certain social class name?”

“Beautiful,” Edward finished firmly. “Like him.”

The pair in front of them paused briefly, talking about the view of the ocean today. It was a bright and clear teal this afternoon, perfect sailing conditions.

“I don’t pretend to understand them. But regardless of what you think you are, he seems to like you. And Aziraphale likes you well enough, otherwise you wouldn’t be here now.”

“Is that a threat?”

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

Aziraphale glanced back over his shoulder. “Don’t upset our new friends.”

“We’re fine,” Ed lied in response. He lowered his voice as he muttered to Crowley. “How would you know anything about this, anyway?”

Stede slowed as they neared the Revenge, clearly pointing out the ship he was so proud of. Aziraphale turned, shooting besotted and amused glances at the redhead.

“Different for you,” Ed said gruffly. And it must be. While the redhead at his side was favored darker colors, his clothing was just as luxurious as the pair in front of him. There was something in how he carried himself and his confidence that Ed knew fell into the category of things he could not have. “I’m not meant for the likes of him.”

Crowley’s hand darted up to his glasses and pulled them from his face. His eyes were yellow with slit pupils and made Ed recoil. What devil was this? Certainly not one that belonged with the gentleman on the arm of his beloved.

“Different, yeah?” Crowley slid the glasses back on. “You could say I was a proper monster.”

Without another word, Crowley left his side. Aziraphale turned to his partner, face shining near as brightly as the sun, as the redhead pulled him into an embrace. The pair paused briefly to share a quick kiss.

Stede’s eyes found his own. Did he dare hope there was the same longing found there? The Gentleman Pirate smiled at him, and hope raced through him. Maybe, just maybe, tonight would be the night he told him the truth.

Notes:

This has to be the most predictable cross-over fic I have ever done in my life. Hello if you happen to be new here, my name is Caspian and I love Aziraphale, Crowley, and also pirates. And especially Pirate Aziraphale, my beloved.

If you'd like more ineffable pirates, may I recommend checking out my Demons of the Caribbean series? The first of three stories can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36535507/chapters/91112803

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