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Some friendships weren’t meant to last forever. But what does is the pain that’s left when the person is gone. “I don’t recognize you anymore.” George heard and he looked over at Tina. Sapnap and Karl had gone into the room Sapnap was staying in to catch up on Karl’s first night there.
“Do you think they’re okay?” Tina asked and George looked back at his phone.
“Dream, are they okay?” George asked and the blonde on the phone let out a breath.
“Things haven’t been the same since Sapnap had to leave Karl the most recent time.. they’ve gotten closer over the time and even thought about dating the last time they met up.. but with the distance and everything they decided against it.” Dream explained and could hear the faint yelling from the boys.
Tina got off George’s bed and patted his arm before making her way out of the room, the yelling growing louder when the door opened and getting softer when it shut. “Dream, do you think it’s okay that they’re together? I know that Karl knows I’ve been waiting years to meet Sap and I’m sure we could all work something out so I can spend time with them both.”
“George, they’ll be fine. They know better than to ruin your time by fighting. They can get it together for you and Tina. And if they can’t then let me know. You won’t have to deal with it, I promise.”
“Thank you, Dream.” George laid down and turned their FaceTime Audio into a FaceTime and propped his phone up against his nightstand, pulling his blankets carefully around himself.
Dream kept his camera on his chin and lower, smiling a bit and laying in his bed as well, “anything for you, George.”
“Goodnight, Dream.”
“Goodnight, George, love you.”
“I know.” George closed his eyes and drifted off.
Karl and Sapnap were laying on the bed, facing away from each other. They had a pillow between them and neither got much sleep that night.
When they woke up they both got dressed in opposite corners of the room and made their way out to George and Tina. No one knew Karl or Tina was there. Right now, Karl, Sapnap and George had to go take pictures with Quackity while Tina had a meeting via discord.
Quackity and Karl ran and met into a hug and Sapnap joined them, George was roped into it for about 2 seconds before he shrunk up and stepped away, letting them all hug.
They started walking around, heading somewhere to eat and Quackity and George were walking behind Sapnap and Karl who were trying not to look so tense. “What’s all this then?” Quackity asked and George snickered a bit before he shrugged.
“They got into a fight last night, they were screaming at each other all night.” George explained and Quackity raised a brow.
“No way the poster husbands have issues? They’re like the number one ship besides you and me- I mean you and Dream.” Quackity winked and George rolled his eyes.
“I’m not entirely sure what’s going on.” George admitted and let Quackity link their arms as they walked. George would never admit to that.
They group sat at a table and Karl was with George in the booth and Quackity and Sapnap were together since they had yet to meet up. “Tina is going to head to visit some friends before she announces she’s here so I’m thinking tomorrow we could stream.” George said after they ordered their drinks.
“That could work, I can make my way over after Tina leaves.” Quackity suggests and George nods.
They got their drinks shortly after and Quackity took George’s and took a sip. Sapnap and Karl looked confused as George didn’t have a problem with Quackity drinking from his straw.
Quackity handed George his drink back and then offered his to the brunette and George took a sip. They both took sips from their own drinks and just nodded to each other in approval of their drink choices. “I’m jealous, you definitely got the one with the higher alcohol count.”
“You’re crazy enough without it, dumbass.” George tossed and dismissed the confused faces from Sapnap and Karl.
The waitress came over to take their order and Sapnap had ordered first but had to change it before she left, “Imagine ordering your food wrong.” Quackity teased and Sapnap flicked him on the side of the head.
“It was a mistake, asshole.” Sapnap had his lips curled until Karl mumbled ‘Seems like you’re a pro at those’
George took a deep breath and turned to Karl, “let’s go talk outside.” George spoke through gritted teeth and Karl rolled his eyes, walking outside and George followed. “What the hell is your issue?”
“He is.”
“I thought you guys were doing well- I thought you guys were talking about dating!?”
Karl scoffed, “I think we both agreed that’s out of the picture. He’s a completely different person- and he claims I’m the one who changed.”
George put a hand on Karl’s shoulder, ignoring his own weird issues, “Are you sure you aren’t the one who changed.. I talk to Nick everyday and he hasn’t changed at all.” George turned and went back into the restaurant, Karl following minutes later.
Sapnap and Quackity were sitting together now, forcing Karl to sit with Sapnap. Quackity had his arm draped around George and George seemed fine with it.
A fan had hesitantly walked over while Karl and Sapnap were sharing glares, “can I get a picture real quickly? I’m uhm leaving and didn’t want to miss the opportunity.”
“Of course!” George said and Karl let Sapnap put his arm around him as they all smiled for the photo. George hadn’t bothered to push Quackity off of him. “Oh, mate, do you think you could wait till we announce the meetups before posting?”
Sapnap and Karl whipped their heads to look at George when he said mate but Quackity didn’t appear bothered.
Perhaps being brother figures means Quackity would hear George talk in ways different from what the others heard. Quackity and George always had a special bond that mirrored the bond between Sapnap and Dream.
Once dinner was over, they made their way back to Georges and they all decided to actually drink. They played a few drinking games till they were all inebriated.
Karl and Sapnap eventually made their way to their room and after a while Sapnap made it to George’s room.
“It hurts watching him fade away..” Sapnap whispered and George pulled Sapnap so his head was resting in George’s lap and he massaged a hand in Sapnap’s hair. Sapnap melted into the touch. “Dream told you this worked, didn’t he?”
“He knows you’re hurting.” George said like that was answer enough, like that would solve it. But Sapnap drifted off after that, and it didn’t hurt.
When Sapnap woke up, he felt weird. Like suddenly things started to make sense that didn’t make sense till he came into George’s room. Like things finally weren’t so blue for him.
Quackity, he and George all got ready for the milkshake stream while Karl stayed in his room. He said he would announce his visit soon, but not yet. They could play this out with their fans for a while, afterall.
Sapnap didn’t feel blue anymore, it wasn’t like a lot of sadness. He and Karl had otherwise talked last night. The drinks and the emotional damage was enough to spark some hidden feelings, taking the blue from the equation and turning it red-hot.
But right now, the color turned into a vibrant purple.
The purple of skies.
Of late night walks.
Of warm rain and the beach.
The purple that matches the colors of bruises given during the Twilight. The very bruises that Quackity and George were covering up on Sapnap. Sapnap couldn’t explain the sick feeling he had during the stream but once it was over he was glad. And he threw up.
He blamed it on the drink.
Sapnap made his way to his and Karl’s room and he changed and took his hat off, “The stream went well.” Sapnap put a piece of gum in his mouth, despite brushing his teeth after throwing up.
“Yeah. I saw.” Karl said dismissively and Sapnap felt the bile rising again.
“Just fucking say you hate me already, Karl. I’m sick of this- of this treatment. Last night when we were both hammered it was like months ago in the safety of your house and my untouched bed but now that we’re sober it’s like I don’t matter anymore and it hurts.”
“I can’t lie to you, Nick.” Karl said and pushed past him, leaving the room but Sapnap followed. Sapnap could hear George talking on the phone, probably to Dream and he felt really bad about where this was going.
“Like that would be anything fucking new for you!”
Karl turned to face Sapnap, a glint in his eyes, “Nick, stop. This doesn’t need to become a thing.”
“It already is a thing Karl! Ever since you took that side job from Jimmy! Ever since you decided that everything we worked so damn hard for was nothing to you! That I was nothing to you! How you can sit there and dismiss me is beyond me.” Sapnap let out a pained chuckle and felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Dream. He ignored his phone and watched Karl’s face fall.
“It has nothing to do with that. You know, I always knew you hated me working for Jimmy.” Karl laughed a bit, “I always knew it was such an issue for you that I had this great thing and finally didn't have to be the annoying camera guy. I’m just the guy who ruined the channel, aren’t I?”
Sapnap’s jaw tensed, “Shut the hell up Karl! You know I do not feel that way. If you didn’t take up the job of reading all the dms and hundreds of comments Jimmy gets maybe you wouldn’t have become this reserved person who hates everyone he’s meant to love.”
“You’re one to speak about love,” Karl started, “Do you even care about anyone or anything outside of George and Dream and maybe Quackity?!”
“ You . I love you, Karl.” Sapnap admitted and Karl’s jaw relaxed, as did his eyes. Karl looked down at the ground and shook his head a bit. Sapnap let out a small ‘okay’ with a heavy sigh and left the house.
The only thing he did was tell George he would be back in the morning and then he shut his phone off.
Karl knocked on George’s door and George allowed him to enter. “Is Dream on the phone?” George nodded and Dream gave a small greeting, “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“He just told you what you’ve been waiting to hear for just under a year. I would say yes.” Dream said and Karl let out a shaky breath.
“He’s scared to lose you, Karl.” George said, “So you can keep letting him live in fear or when he comes back tomorrow you can fix it.”
“Where did he go?”
George shook his head and Karl sniffled and made his way to his room, laying in bed but not sleeping till the sun rose.
-
“I’m going home.” Sapnap said softly to George and Dream in the kitchen.
“Okay.” George said and Dream protested, “Dream, if he wants to leave, let him leave. I don’t blame him. What if you confessed to me and I just stared at my feet then let you leave.”
“I wouldn’t want to be near you.” Dream admitted, quietly.
“I can take him out for breakfast when he wakes up and you can pack?” George suggested and Sapnap nodded.
“I’m sorry, George, I know this was meant to be a trip for you but I don’t want to be here anymore- I can’t be here anymore..”
George stepped forward and hugged Sapnap, “it’s okay, Sap. I got to see you and that was enough. We’ll see each other soon enough, I promise.” Sapnap sniffled and hugged George back.
“I’m so sorry.” Sapnap said and George just rubbed his back, letting the embrace last a while before Sapnap went to his room, passing Karl, who was heading out.
Sapnap closed his eyes and his breath hitched, he couldn’t look at Karl. He couldn’t look at him without feeling the pain of all of this but also feeling the feelings of lust they shared. Sapnap just breathed the moment till Karl left, then he opened his eyes.
Sapnap wiped his face of any salty tears and started packing.
Sapnap was interrupted by a FaceTime from Tubbo, which was weird but he answered, “Hey Toby- oh nice flower crown!”
“Oh thanks, Tommy had it made for me.” A hand waved at the iPhone camera and Sapnap now noticed the blond tufts of hair pressing into Tubbo’s side. “So are we still good for tonight?”
“Tonight? What’s tonight?” Sapnap asked, genuinely confused.
“We’re going pub hopping since you wanted to? George has had this planned for weeks, are you okay?”
“Yeah I must have forgotten, sorry.” Sapnap said and Tubbo shrugged.
“Don’t sweat it, mate, Tommy can’t come anymore, he’s sick and being a clingy bitch.”
Sapnap was surprised Tommy didn’t argue back, it must be serious if Tommy isn’t arguing back.
“Right we’ll just follow through with George’s plans, I guess.”
“Okay!” Tubbo smiled, “see you soon!” Tubbo ended the FaceTime and Sapnap rubbed his temples. Shit .
*
“We’re drunk again.” Sapnap said against Karl’s lips and he pushed Karl onto the bed, keeping their faces close.
“And you’re packed to leave in the morning, we might as well get our pent up issues sorted now.” Karl said and Sapnap pressed their lips together again, putting his knee between Karl’s legs.
Pent up issues were certainly resolved.
And now they were streaming a few days later and Sapnap was unpacked.
The stream was nearing an end, everyone was there. Tina, George, Karl, Sapnap. All of them.
Karl walked over to Sapnap and stood over him as he laid down, putting his hands behind his head, “need help up?” Karl asked.
“Yeah, sit down.” Sapnap smiled and Karl plopped down on his stomach. To say the feelings that rushed to Sapnap weren’t immediate would be a lie.
Karl ended the stream and started the next one for the night. After the streams they made their way to the room and held each other through the night.
When Sapnap woke up, he went to the kitchen and kissed Karl on the cheek, Karl grabbed him and pressed their lips together before Sapnap got himself some juice. “Glad to see you both are getting along.”
“Yeah.” Sapnap smiled and Quackity walked into the kitchen, hugging George.
“Get off me, there’s people here you idiot.” George said and Quackity scoffed, backing up.
“You never had a problem with them before.”
“Yeah well they might think they can hug me.” George said and Sapnap flicked George on the arm.
“Anyway, I’m here for Karl.” Quackity said and Sapap suddenly remembered what today was. Sapnap watched Karl stand up with sad eyes and leave the room. Karl came back with all of his luggage. He was going home. Mr Beast needed him. And Karl went where Jimmy needed him. The joys of the job, Sapnap supposed.
“We’ll let you guys talk.” George said and dragged Quackity and Tina out of the kitchen.
Karl walked over and wrapped his arms around Sapnap, tightly. Sapnap held Karl just as tight and felt the brunette crying. Sapnap teared up but didn’t let himself cry to that extent, he was the one who had to be strong for Karl. Like all their other partings before. “We’ll see each other again in a few months, Karl..”
“Please don’t ask me out..” Karl sobbed. “Please, Nick.”
“I won’t.” Sapnap’s heart hurt. It ached for this to be over, for this to be better. But it wouldn’t.
“It’s for the best..” Karl sobbed harder.
“Even if it doesn't feel right?”
“E-even then.”
Sapnap nodded and kissed the side of his head, “Anything for you, Karl. I’ll always do anything for you.”
“I k-know. Or else you would have asked me already.. And I.. and I would have said y-yes.”
Sapnap inhaled sharply, “I know.”
“I’m sorry that I’m leaving you.” Karl pulled away a bit to look at Sapnap, “I know it hurts you. I know you don’t regret it, but I know you hurt from it all the time. I know that because I get hurt from it all the time.” Sapnap wiped tears from Karl’s face. “If it didn’t have to hurt then maybe it would be easier but we need each other too much already and we’re in so much pain from not dating and being so far.. It’s not fair to ourselves.”
“I’ll love you till the day I die, Karl. Whether we go through with this one day or not, I won’t stop loving you.”
“I’ll love you just the same, Nick.” Karl admitted and they pressed their lips together quickly before Karl pushed past him and left the kitchen to leave, not looking back. And Sapnap didn’t chase after him like he has all their past visits. He didn’t turn around and hug Karl one last time, begging them to stay together any bit longer, like their time was never enough. But they didn’t beg for more time, this time.
They only parted and Sapnap was left to cry alone in George’s kitchen, while Quackity comforted Karl on the way to the airport. Once again, they were both alone.
Karl always needed more than Sapnap. It didn’t matter how kind, pretty, thoughtful, funny or charming he was. That wasn’t going to be enough. Karl needed something in real life, not facetimes to make up for the distance. They weren’t George and Dream, they couldn’t handle the distance, they both needed more than discord calls. They were both awful people, with awful needs. They needed each other, but more than what they could offer like that. They needed more than each other.