Work Text:
You need to move on. I have.
The words had pierced through Buck’s heart so quick, he didn’t even have time to process them. How could Eddie say that when it’s so clear he hasn’t moved on either?
Plus, it wasn’t even fair. The news about Eddie leaving the 118 was a surprise to everyone, including Buck. His own best friend didn’t even talk to him about his plans, and he was blindsided along with the others. Since then, he’s been trying his best to pretend Eddie hasn’t really left. He’s been hanging out with Eddie as much as he can, putting on a brave smile.
But telling him to move on? When he’s clearly not settling in right and hasn’t moved on from completely leaving the 118?
Low blow.
Tonight, they’re at the bar to celebrate their victory on the last call. It’s been all over the news and they even invited Eddie to come along.
As they’re all at the table, laughing and smiling and having a good time, they don’t notice Eddie walk in.
Eddie’s eyes fall on Buck who laughs, throwing his head back and just the sight of him warms his chest. A small, soft smile starts forming on his lips as he starts heading their way, but he stops abruptly when he sees the blonde woman sitting across from Buck.
The smile drops and Eddie frowns instead, fingers clenching and unclenching by his sides.
“Can I help you?”
Eddie looks over to see a waitress staring at him expectantly. “Are you with the firefighters?” She asks.
Eddie’s throat feels dry and he clears it, but it doesn’t help. If anything, it tightens up and he feels like he wants to lay down and cry.
“No,” he manages to say. “I’m not.”
The waitress nods and walks away. Eddie inhales shakily and turns to go as his eyes start watering, but he wipes them away harshly.
Luckily, Buck catches him just as he slips out the door. He perks up. “Eddie?”
“What?” Hen asks.
Buck stands quickly, ignoring their questions as he runs out the door behind Eddie. He bumps into someone and apologizes, then sees Eddie walking towards his truck.
“Eddie!” Buck calls, running up to him.
Eddie stops in his tracks, turning with red-rimmed eyes and a confused frown. When he sees it’s Buck, he sighs, sniffling. “Hey, uh, I-I have to go. There’s, um, there’s something I’ve gotta do and—“
“No, there isn’t. I saw you.” Buck claims. Eddie turns away for a second and curses himself when he feels like crying again. “Buck, you—just go back inside. I’ll be fine.” He argues.
“But you aren’t!” Buck snaps. They get a few stares and Buck exhales deeply as Eddie frowns. “You aren’t fine, Eddie. And you haven’t been since you left. I can see it. Of course I can see it, you’re my best friend. That’s my job. You’re hurting and you look tired and I wish you’d talk to me. That’s all I want, is for you to talk to me. It’s like I told you—you don’t have to pretend with me.” He explains.
“You moved on.” Eddie whispers. Buck frowns and Eddie rubs his eyes, shaking his head. He’s tired, he’s so damn tired and all he wants to do is sleep and sleep and sleep.
“I said you needed to move on because I had moved on, but that was a lie. I haven’t moved on. And when I got here, I saw you laughing and having a good time and it hurt because…you’ve moved on. Which I can’t be mad at because I told you to.” Eddie says.
Buck sighs. “I haven’t moved on, Eddie. None of us have.” He states. Eddie meets his eyes and Buck’s heart breaks when he sees the tiredness behind them, how he’s trying not to show it in front of him.
“But—“
“There’s no but, Eddie,” Buck interrupts. “We haven’t moved on. I haven’t moved on because I don’t want to move on, Eds.”
Eddie chokes out a quiet sob, hand held up to his mouth to keep it in. “I’m tired, Evan,” he confesses in a whisper. “I’m so fucking tired and I can’t sleep and I can’t eat and I can’t do anything. I’m up all night thinking about you and the others, but mostly you. I feel like I failed you by leaving you without a partner. Because I’m not there to have your back.”
Buck shakes his head and Eddie starts crying and Buck can’t take it so he walks up to the man to pull him in for a hug. At first, he hesitates, not sure if Eddie doesn’t want to be touched but when Eddie nods, he brings him into his embrace.
Eddie clutches at his shirt, hiding his face in his chest as Buck holds him. “I think…I need help.” Eddie whispers.
Buck nods. “We’ll get you help, Eddie. And I’ll be here every step of the way.” He promises.
Eddie pulls back to meet his eyes, giving a sad smile as he nods. “Thank you.” His voice cracks. Buck leans in and presses his lips to his forehead, letting his lips linger as a promise. “I’ve got your back, remember?”
Eddie nods, reaching for his hand and Buck lets him lace their fingers together. They walk together to Eddie’s truck since Buck came in an Uber, and Buck drives them home, the first step of many to come.