Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything had started so long ago, before the modern age, before the industrialization, before the wars and famine. Her youth was so far away now, it was history, no longer could she pull out a chair and tell her stories of battle that had children listening in awe, now those stories were history of people from long ago.

Reminiscing was a beautiful thing, she didn’t risk her secret being spilled as her mind and memories were hers alone and no one could intrude on them.

It began long ago, at the monastery where they met and where their bonds began to be forged. She and Seteth weren’t particularly fond of one another at first, things did change relatively quickly on her end however. She had grown to appreciate him over time, during staff meetings Seteth was usually the only one who would let her speak.

_________________________

“Well maybe if you’d stop setting such an ill example with your childish outbursts your students would be more attentive in class!”
“Childish outbursts!? Yo-”
The two were at each other's throats again, it seemed like an endless cycle of the two getting into arguments, making up, and then finding something else to argue about.

“Both of your classes have improved considerably over the last month in combat, though some individual students are falling behind. I can discuss with both of you individually over methods I think will improve their performance. Now can we get back to the topic at hand?”
She nudged Seteth’s elbow to get his attention.

He read the passage aloud for her but neither of the professors paid attention, they were both far too heated in their argument to listen to anyone else at the table. When they got like this it was as if the rest of the world fell away and they were the only two that existed. She had read stories where that happened to two people, everything ceased to be except each other, it was romantic. With Hanneman and Manuela it was anything but, it was more like watching a snake trying to eat its own tail but it always stopped short before it could cause permanent damage to itself, only damage to the onlookers who failed to avert their gaze.

Once the two had tired themselves out the rest of the meeting went by in a breeze, the staff quickly left the room joyed that it was finally over.

She was going to be the second to last to leave only ahead of Seteth, this was usual as she always had to double and triple check that her inkwell was tightly sealed and her quill was dried.
Satisfied she placed the writing equipment in her bag and began to leave.

“Byleth?” She stopped turning around her head tilted in a questioning manner. Had she forgotten something, why else would Seteth have stopped her?

“Would you like to join me for a cup of tea?”

She nodded allowing herself to smile slightly, she normally hid her emotions behind a cold exterior but if Seteth was going to extend an olive branch she might as well meet it with her own.

She waited at the door for him, he always brought quite a bit of paperwork with him to the meetings, unfortunately it seemed that the staff rarely went over a quarter of it.

As he approached her she held out her hand toward his papers, after a moment he handed them to her, allowing her to assist him with carrying it.

The two of them headed down the hall to his office, once inside Seteth closed the door and placed his things down in specific places on his desk, taking the paperwork from her he placed it in a drawer. He moved almost absentmindedly after that as he retrieved the teapot and began preparing their tea.

She sat down at his desk, pulling her book, inkwell, and quill from her satchel.

She wished she could make conversation as he moved about but unfortunately could not as written words could not reach his ears and would simply interrupt him if she had him read them.

Once the tea was finished he set a cup before her before sitting down himself with his own. “Apologies for not asking for your preference, I only had Angelica tea.”

She shook her head and quickly wrote in her book. “No worries, I do not have a preference. Thank you for inviting me.”

“You’re welcome, I normally have a cup of tea after meetings. I am glad you wanted to join me.”

“It seems like a nice way to relax.” She pushed the book towards him to read as she took a sip of the Angelica, it really was a nice contrast to the staff meetings that left her feeling drained. She could only imagine how stressful the meetings were for Seteth considering he was the one who had to lead them.

“It does relieve stress, that is part of the reason I invited you. You seemed a bit on edge during the meeting.”

She had? She assumed that she had been keeping her emotions in check but if others could tell them perhaps she was becoming too comfortable or they were more observant then she previously thought.

“I admit it has been a long week.”

“I do hope you’ll inform me of any issues you may encounter.”

She nodded as she wrote her response. “I’ll keep that in mind if anything arises.”

In truth she had been experiencing an issue though it was one she could handle on her own. Jeritza had become more violent during their training sessions often leaving her bruised and injured, even after approaching him about how brutal he had been he had not changed. She could handle it though, she had handled far worse after all.

“I know we didn’t go over much during the meeting today, I’d be glad to assist you with anything we did not cover.”

“In that case, I did mean to speak with you or Jeritza regarding a few things.” He leaned down, opening the drawer and pulling out his paperwork. Shifting through it he found what he was looking for and placed a few papers on the desk.

The two of them went through the papers together while enjoying their tea. Even after having finished the paperwork and tea they stayed together, getting to know one another. When she had finally left his office it was night though it felt like she had only been with him for half an hour.

_____________________-

Gardening was something she had never done before coming to the monastery, but now she spent much of her time in the greenhouse.

Today she was there not to garden but to meet with a friend, her first monastery friend in fact.
The greenhouse door opened just barely enough for her to hear, looking over she saw Flayn approaching a friendly smile on her face.

“Hello, Byleth. I’ve been practicing.” her words were not spoken with her voice but with her hands.

She did not try to suppress her smile, having someone aside from her father speak to her using signs was something she didn’t realize she wanted.

“You did wonderful.” she signed back slowly, it took Flayn a moment but her eyes lit up with joy once the words registered.

“I am so delighted you think so!” She said her voice filled with cheer.

She was still learning so it would take some time before she’d be able to have full conversations in sign. Byleth had lent her a few books that taught sign language; it was nice to know she was actually studying them.

Byleth sat down on the cobblestone floor and gestured for Flayn to join her. Once the green haired did she pulled out her book and flipped to a page with a prewritten request on it.
“Can you teach me to heal?”

“Yes, yes of course I can. I am overjoyed that you would ask me to teach you.” Her smile was so bright, it made Byleth wonder if she could ever smile like that or if she already had.

“Thank you, I hope I will be as good a student as you.”

“You most certainly will, now where should we start.”

“We don’t have to start now. You can start teaching me during our next meeting.”

The two women had been meeting at the greenhouse every saturday. Normally they would just sit and talk until one of them eventually had to leave.

Sometimes it felt like she knew nothing about Flayn, other times it felt like they were as close as two friends could be, the truth was probably somewhere in the middle. She kept things from Flayn and was sure the other girl did the same. She didn’t like keeping things from Flayn but at the same time she was scared of what would happen if Flayn betrayed her.

“Oh, I’d almost forgotten!” Flayn said as she presented a book to Byleth. Where she had been keeping it she would never know.

“I brought my book so we could read together.”

During their previous meeting the two had ended up talking about stories and fables they had read in their youth. Flayn had excitedly told her about a book of fairytales and fables she had kept since she was a child. Many of the stories she had mentioned reading, byleth had never heard of and Flayn offered to bring her storybook next time.

Now looking at the book she could certainly see how worn and well read it was, the pages were yellowed with age and the spine was worn. There were sections that seemed to have been read more than others as the book seemed to want to open to them.

Flayn moved closer to her so that they both could see the pages at the same time, she wordlessly flipped through the pages until she landed on a specific tale. “The envious mantis”
The story was about a mantis that was jealous of what his friend, the beetle had. The mantis stole from the beetle but the objects did not make him happy and when the beetle found out he took his things back and left the mantis. Now alone the mantis realized that by stealing he neither gained happiness from the object and became sad at the loss of his friendship with beetle, but his wrongs could not be undone and now mantis is cursed to be friendless because of his envy.

The two of them would silently read together once they finished a story Flayn would flip the pages till she found another to read. Many of the stories followed animals but some were about the four saints, she liked those as they reminded her of the stories her father would tell her. It was strange reading stories of the saints where they were more personable than in the religious texts.

Ding dong ding

The sound of the Monastery bell rang loudly startling both women, time had passed them by and they had spent almost the entirety of the day reading Flayns book.

Before they had parted ways for the day Flayn had lent her the story book so that she could read it in her spare time.

________________

Flayns disappearance had struck her like a dagger through the back. Like the students and other faculty she began searching for any clues of the girl’s disappearance, but finding Flayn couldn’t be her sole priority.

Seteth was struggling to keep himself together, he looked like a man whose entire world had shattered into countless pieces. While finding Flayn would lift the weight off his heart, he needed comfort now in the meantime.

Byleth was not the best at comforting people, but if no one else was going to comfort Seteth then she’d have to do. She found Seteth in his office head being held in his hands, it was a sad sight. She moved forward quietly and placed a hand on his shoulder, when he looked at her she smiled sympathetically and handed him a note.

“I will find her, I swear it.”

“That is all I ask.”

She handed him another note.

“She cares about your well being. Please do not forget to take care of yourself.”

He nodded wordlessly and gestured to the door. She reluctantly left hoping that her words did not fall on deaf ears.

Over the next few days she would return to his office to check on him but he was never in the mood for talking. On the fourth day when she checked on him she brought with her grilled herring from the dining hall and a cup of angelica tea.
Flayn had mentioned that grilled herring reminded her of her mothers cooking so she hoped Seteth would like it just as much as his sister for the same reason.

She knocked on his door before entering, since Flayns disappearance he had become so lost in thought that he’d hardly notice when someone knocked on his door.
She quietly placed the tray on his desk before him. She left as quickly as she entered normally she would have lingered hoping to provide him with comfort but today she had better priorities, today she had to catch an abductor.

Jeritza, the colleague she worked the most with but knew the least about. She should have seen the warning signs, she should have gone to his door the first day of Flayn’s disappearance. She didn’t, she didn’t want to face the fact that it could have been avoided if she had just noticed the signs sooner. She couldn’t ignore her suspicions any longer however, she knew deep within he was the culprit but of course she wasted time hunting down useless leads.

Everything that happened once she reached Jeritza’s door went by in a blur, meeting students, finding Mauela and Flayn, fighting the death knight, it was all a blur.
During fights she often escaped mentally, distancing herself from the battle so that she could protect herself from its horrors. That was why she was the ashen demon, she showed no emotions during combat because she didn’t even realize what was happening, she was there physically but mentally she was in a void and all encompassing void of blackness that was her sole support in battle.

Words were being spoken to her but they were muffled and fuzzy, she wanted to hear them but couldn’t. Looking before her she finally could see, the battle had ended blood spattered the walls of the chamber they were in, when did they enter this room? Mercedes, Marianne, and Linhardt were casting healing spells on their injured classmates, all three of the healers looked sick or anxious.

Oh that was right this is what the aftermath of a battle looked like, it had been so long since she fought. Her stomach churned, she had wished the monastery would have led to the end of her mercenary life and that she would no longer kill but instead she had simply trained children to fight and to die in combat.

She shook herself as she remembered why she was here, why she had fought. It was for Flayn, the girl had been on the floor. Was she unconscious or dead? She had not checked and if a student had she did not hear, all she could do was hope that Flayn was alive.

At some point guards had rushed into the chamber, she hadn’t noticed until she realized she was being escorted to the infirmary along with the students. Once inside the clean sanitized room she saw Flayn. At first the unconscious girl looked so peaceful and serene that she thought she had to be dead, but then she saw the slightest movement of her arm and realized she was in fact alive.

She realized something else in that moment, Flayn was more important to her than she previously thought and she would protect Flayn so that nothing like this would happen ever again.

__________________

Things had changed between her and Seteth after the rescue of Flayn. The two of them had tea together more often, and she was invited to share meals with him and Flayn. Neither of them knew how much she appreciated their meals together, the two of them helped temporarily fill a lonely void that had clung to her like a second shadow for much of her life. Whenever the meals ended the loneliness would creep back up on her but at least she had brief moments where it was weakened.

Flayn was another change. Previously the two only spent a day or so a week together, but now that Seteth had begun trusting her more- and trusting her around Flayn- the two could spend more time together and didn’t have to spend it so privately.

The three had eaten a stew together for lunch and now Flayn was trying to teach her how to cast healing spells. She had been practicing for weeks but the actual act of healing was something she couldn’t grasp, it infuriated her. She could attack with spells easily, and when it came to studying faith based spells she understood the material but casting a healing spell was simply impossible for her; it was like trying to breath with gills.

“When you cast the spell you want to be at peace of mind and concentrate solely on healing the wound, imagine it healing rapidly. Imagine how the scab looks as it heals over time, then how the skin looks once it is fully healed.”

She did exactly what Flayn said to do. She imagined her wound healing and she felt something tingling at her fingertips, she didn’t focus on the feeling in her fingers though only on the scab. Then a searing pain spread over the part of her skin her hand was pressed against, she reeled away her hand quickly but the damage had been done her skin had been burned where she had been trying to heal it.

“Oh no, Byleth!” She felt the burning wash away as Flayn healed her burn, healing came to her so easily like it was the normalist thing in the world to her.

“Perhaps lessons should end for today.” She normally would have continued pushing herself but she couldn’t help but agree with Seteth.

She signed a “thank you” to Flayn and nodded to Seteth in agreement.

Flayn crossed and then uncrossed her arms. “Are you excited for the ball next month?”

“Kinda, I don’t know what to expect.” Flayn had gotten better at reading sign but she still had to sign slowly for her.

“You can expect to see many people dancing. Is there anyone you would like to dance with?”

“Dancing is for the students, I am a chaperone.”

“What if one of the students wishes to dance with you?” Flayn challenged her.

“I would have to decline as I do not know how to dance.”

“Oh.”

“What about you, is there anyone you want to dance with?”

“Yes, I can think of one person.” She smiled sweetly.

“And who might that be?” Seteth asked, probably already preparing an explanation for why the boy Flayn had her eye on was unsuitable.

“You, brother.”

“In that case, I’d be pleased to dance with you, Sister.”

She hid a smile as she took a sip of her water, she enjoyed seeing sweet moments like this between the two siblings. It also made her wish for a moment that she was not an only child.

She stifled a cough as she almost choked on her own water, despite her efforts it seemed she had ruined the moment as both Seteth and Flayns attention snapped to her.

“I am okay, water got the best of me.” She signed quickly to Flayn who after a moment spoke aloud for her.

The conversation moved on from there but she was not very involved. After a few minutes she excused herself and left the dining hall.

She found herself at the graveyard, standing before Sitiri Eisner's grave. Her mothers grave. By all accounts Sitiri was a wonderful woman whose life was taken too soon, taken by her very daughter.

She knew no one blamed her, that her mothers death was an accident that was almost completely unavoidable. Almost, if it weren’t for her Sitiri would be alive, if she had never been born her mother would still be alive. If she could she would gladly have traded her life for her mothers. Her mother was a kind, gentle nun who was also frail, her mother was everything she was not. Her mother left people happier than when she found them, she inflicted kindness unto them. All Byleth did was inflict pain, she could not even heal herself, she was like a finely crafted blade used to inflict cruelty and made to withstand force.
She couldn’t even really be described as a human, could she? Humans had heart beats, whereas she had none. Her mother must have had a heartbeat, her mother was more human than she was. Perhaps if she herself had been born whole her mother would still be alive, her father would be happier, they might have even had more children. Yes that had to be the case there had to be a world where her family was complete even if she herself were not in it.

She crouched down and began pulling the weeds that had sprouted where her mothers grave was, the least she could do was make sure it was well kept for when her father visited.

________________

While she enjoyed her energetic conversations and lessons with Flayn she appreciated her calm and quiet interactions with Seteth just as much.

He had recently been helping her learn more about religion, she had been embarrassed when she first approached him for help considering how ignorant she was in regards to the church but in the end she was glad she had asked him.

She was sitting in his office reading a book of hymns, while he prepared tea for them. The song she was currently reading seemed so beautiful, she mouthed the words wishing that she could sing them.

She closed the book as she heard the familiar footsteps of Seteth approaching. He handed her a cup of tea and sat down with his own, a usual occurrence for them now.

“Four-spice blend, enjoy.” She was momentarily stunned, Seteth didn’t say the words he signed them.

“Did I say something wrong? I did not intend to.” His voice held the slightest note of anxiety in it.

She shook her head and smiled at him as she signed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I had taken a look at one of the books you had shared with Flayn.” He explained. “Though I haven’t learned much.”

“I appreciate you taking the time to learn a single word.” She wrote quickly.

“It was the least I could do after everything you’ve done for me and Flayn.”

“You’ve done plenty for me already.” She gestured to the tea and then the book of hymns he had lent to her.

“Tea and hymns are not not comparable to what you have done for us.” he sipped his tea before speaking again, shifting the topic away from the events that had happened not so long ago. “How are you liking the hymns?”

“I like them quite a lot, some of them are so elegant. They make me wish I could sing again.”

“Did you cut yourself off?” She looked at him confused for a moment as she pulled the book away from him. She did occasionally cut herself off or forget a word because her mind would move faster than her hand could write. Reading the passage she realized her mistake.

She dipped her quill in her inkwell and began writing an explanation.

“I was not born mute. When I was young I fell ill, the illness injured my voice and left me almost entirely mute.”

Seteth looked at her for a moment before speaking.

“Was it the same illness that..” He cut himself off, that was unusual for him. Seteth was often so careful with his words.

“Illness that?”

“Was it the same illness that took your mother?”

That was right her father had lied to the church and told them her mother died of illness not childbirth, she didn’t know the reason for the lie but she did trust her father.

“No.”

But she also wanted to trust Seteth, perhaps she could. Her father mentioned that Seteth had joined the church after he left, maybe he could be trusted even if he were close with Rhea.

“If I told you something could you keep it between the two of us?”

“Of course.”

She appreciated the firmness in his voice, it made her feel as though she could trust him with anything. Loyalty, that was it she felt like he was loyal to his words, and perhaps even to her, no he was not loyal to her at least not yet but trusting him with this could be a first step.

“My mother died in childbirth. I am not sure why my father lied about it. I am sure he had good reasons for it.”

Seteth took a moment to respond which caused her to wonder if she misplaced her trust.
“I see. I do not understand why he would hide that detail, regardless I will make sure that information does not leave this room.”

She smiled, thankful for his discretion. Of course she could trust him, out of everyone in this monastery he was possibly the greatest confidant.

After that the two talked about different brighter topics for a while. The two discussed the progress Seteth had made in his latest fable. She considered him an excellent writer, Flayns storybook was proof of that considering he wrote all of the stories and they were all amazing children's tales . His newest story he had been working on for some time but considering how hectic things had been his progress had been minimal.

They also discussed the upcoming ball, both of them were to be chaperones and they would simply need to keep eyes on the students. Seteth mentioned how he was looking forward to having a dance with Flayn but was worried about having to keep boys away from her. To help relieve his worry and to hopefully allow Flayn time to socialize without her brother breathing down her neck she offered to stay near Flayn and intervene if needed. He accepted her offer, and she thought she saw relief flash across his face if for just a moment.

When they discussed how she had never learned to dance she did admit that she had a desire to learn but never had the chance. Seteth offered to teach her to which she gladly accepted, They started the lesson almost immediately and she found herself dancing with him. She was pathetic at first comparable to a baby trying to walk and falling on its face, but Seteth was patient and after a bit she had improved slightly though she still had a long way to go. It was funny really when she first met Seteth, he was the last person she imagined dancing with, in fact she thought he would hate something like dancing since he was such a stick in the mud.

_____________________

The night of the ball came, for most of the night she simply watched the students, occasionally some would try to sneak out and she would have to stop them. Keeping her promise to Seteth she stayed by Flayns side as often as she could, she trusted Flayn to navigate socially and stayed out of her conversations with the other students unless she had been roped into them. The only times she intervened was if a student started becoming flirty with Flayn since she knew that it would lead them to their own demise.

She was admittedly a bit sad that no one had asked for her to dance with them, she had practiced with Seteth on multiple occasions and now considered herself decent at dancing. She did at one point dance with Flayn which did make her happy, Flayn smiled and laughed as the two of them clumsily danced together, it was difficult as neither of them knew how to lead the dance.

The rest of the night went by in a flash, she left shortly before the ball had finished though she wasn’t sure why. She headed to the Goddess tower, she had heard plenty of rumors about it from students and wanted to see if it was worth all the attention.

Once at the top of the tower she was disappointed at what she found, flowers and gift wrappings had been littered about the tower. It would be improper for her to leave the tower in such a state so she began cleaning, starting with the gift wrappings. She wasn’t sure how the church viewed litter but assumed that abandoned flowers were less disgracing then trash.

It had taken her quite a bit of time to pick up and throw away the gift wrappings, now she could turn her attention to the flowers. Instead of simply discarding the flowers like trash she considered saving them and giving them out to other members of the faculty, for one it was less wasteful and for another it could help brighten others' days. She recognized some of the flowers, they had come from the greenhouse she might have even planted some of them. She wondered how the greenhouse keeper felt when students plucked the flowers. Were they happy that their flowers were being appreciated or sad that they were being taken away?

“So this is where you disappeared to.” She jolted, dropping the flowers she had been holding. Since when was she so easy to startle? She turned to look at Seteth who was the cause of her freight.

“Apologies, I did not mean to scare you.” His voice was gentle, she couldn’t help but smile.

“It is alright. What are you doing here?” She signed. Even if he didn’t understand all of her words he understood the general question.

It was hard to tell in the dark but she thought she saw a flush run across his cheeks. “After the ball ended and you hadn’t returned I had become a bit worried and went looking for you.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you. I was cleaning up after students, and lost track of time.”

“There is no need to apologize.. And I did not quite understand the rest of what you said.”

She sighed but shook her head, him understanding anything was better than nothing. “Unimportant.” she signed knowing he knew that.

She bent down picking up one of the flowers she had dropped, then she moved toward him, her hand outstretched offering him the daffodil.

“Oh thank you.” This close to him she could clearly see his blush, it was cute on him.

“Students?” he asked and it took a second for her to register the question. She nodded and gestured to the flower pile.

“I’ll help you finish cleaning up but..” He cut himself off and she could swear she saw his cheeks turn slightly more red.

She tilted her head to the side in a questioning manner. “But what?”

“Well.” He paused to clear his throat. “I was hoping you could join me for a dance?”

She smiled sure her cheeks matched his in color as she reached out and took his hand, accepting the dance.

He rested his hand on her waist and she put her hand on his shoulder, once in position he began to lead the dance.

She had danced with him several times during their lessons but something was different tonight, he was teaching her they were simply dancing together. No music accompanied them but did not matter to her, she didn’t think she would hear it even if music did play. She was lost in their dance, thinking solely on their rhythmic movements. She didn’t dare look up, afraid if she did she would stare and then ruin the moment.

The dance felt like it lasted an eternity but then when they stopped moving it felt like it had only lasted a second. She wanted to continue dancing with him, to go back to that eternity of swaying. Finally looking up she met his eyes, she stared just like she feared she would but it didn’t ruin the moment he stared back at her. Before she could stop herself she leaned upwards closing the gap between them fully as her lips lightly brushed against his. As soon as they made contact she realized what she was doing and expected him to reel away in disgust but he didn’t, he returned the kiss.

After they had separated they picked up the rest of the flowers and headed out of the goddess tower as if nothing had happened. They went about the rest of the night as usual, the only change being that when Seteth returned to his quarters she accompanied him, nothing else transpired that night but things between them would now be permanently different.

Chapter Text

“Annnd Start!” 

When she had become mute her father had decided she would learn to wield a quill with as much expertise as she could wield a sword. Training with a quill was much different then with a blade, for one there was not a training regime for writing, but after some trial and error  she and her father made something that worked for her. 

She had 30 seconds to write as many sentences as possible afterwards they were critiqued on three things. Each individual sentence had to make sense and be complete, she could not forget a word. Her penmanship had to be clear and easy to read, if someone looked at it like it was a cypher she had failed. Lastly was the number of sentences she wrote in the timeframe, she needed to reply to people quickly or they’d get irritated. 

“Times up.” Her father grabbed her papers as soon as she lifted her quill and began looking them over. She had gone through one paper and done a quarter of another. 

“Nice job, kid. Your writing is as clear as ever and you're writing quicker but several of the sentences either are missing words or have them repeated. Try being a bit slower next time so that you aren’t leaving things incomplete.” He set the papers to the side after he finished talking. Sometimes he would save a paper for reference during their next session, she assumed he normally just threw away the rest. 

“I’ll do better next time.” She signed to him. In truth she had hoped there would be no mistakes today. It had been so long since they had last done this she hoped she would blow him away with how much she improved, in her excitement she made mistakes.

“I know you will. You are always improving.” He signed his response. It was nice talking to him in sign, for most of her life he was the only other person who could speak it. Now she could also speak with Seteth and Flayn but the two of them were still learning, with her father she never had to worry about going too fast or saying a word he didn’t understand. 

“Captain! You are needed by the archbishop.” One of the knights had interrupted them. 

With a sigh her father raised to his feet. “See you later kid, I got something important to talk with you about.” With that he left, leaving her to her devices.

___________

She and Seteth had been keeping their relationship private for the time being, and as far as they could tell no one suspected them. It was that or no one found gossiping about the stern advisor and distant instructor interesting when compared to everything else going on around the monastery. 

She wasn’t sure how to navigate a relationship. She had flings in the past, little flames that sparked quickly and then smothered fast, in the past she had known it wouldn’t last she’d eventually leave so she never let herself get too attached. Seteth wasn’t a fling though, she had already become attached to him before their first kiss. She was thankful that their relationship was moving at a slow pace, it gave her time to better understand her feelings. 

Even before their relationship began she would sometimes assist him with his work, now her assisting became more frequent. She enjoyed spending time with Seteth even if that time was spent shifting through paperwork regarding the monastery budget. Besides the quicker his work for the day was finished the sooner he could spend time doing something he enjoyed, whether she was involved in that free time did not matter.  

She had just finished filling out a paper when she heard a rhythmic knocking on the door. 

“Come in, Flayn.” Seteth called. Flynn always knocked in a specific pattern so it was unmistakable when she was at a door. Perhaps she should adopt the habit and make her own special knock.

Flayn opened the door already speaking “Hello brother, I had a few ideas for the-” She cut herself off once she saw Byleth.

“Hello, Byleth.” She signed a greeting, Byleth happily returned it.

“Brother, I wanted to speak to you about that matter we’ve been discussing, but it seems this is a bad time.” 

Seteth had very little work left for the day, he was ahead of schedule the only reason not to speak with Flayn would be because it was a private matter. 

“Would you like to speak with him privately?” Byleth signed to Flayn, who after a moment nodded. 

She exited the room closing the door behind her, she had left her things in the room as she’d be returning once Flayn was finished. She did not linger by the door for fear of overhearing their conversation, instead she entered her fathers office. It was empty as always but she liked to look at the battle formations in one of his books. 

She had conflicting views on battle, for one she disliked her mercenary life as it was one filled with killing. Now as a combat instructor she still felt guilt knowing that the students she was teaching were actively being sent to battle, she felt she had failed them any time they were wounded. At the same time she once dreamed of being a battle tactician or a leader similar to her father, but unlike her father being a commander felt impossible to grasp considering how difficult it was for her to communicate on the field.

Regardless of how she felt about actually fighting she still liked looking at battle formations so that is what she did until Flayn had finished speaking with Seteth. When she returned to Seteths office something felt off though she was unsure what had changed, Seteth seemed withdrawn or like he was trying to keep something from her. 

__________

Seteth and Flayn had continued being secretive around her, she didn’t confront either of them though she had to stop herself from doing so occasionally. Despite her closeness to the two of them she had to acknowledge that whatever ‘the matter’ was, wasn’t her business and they had no obligation to discuss it with her. 

Her day had been a long one, Manuela and Hanneman were both planning on taking their classes out to battle demonic beasts the next day. So she as sole instructor had to train one on one with as many of the students as possible, by the time the classes had dismissed she was ready to go to her quarters to sleep for the next twelve years. 

Despite her desires to sleep until the next day she had made a commitment for later that evening and intended to stick to it. After taking a much needed nap she washed herself of the dirt and sweat from earlier in the day, she should have done those things in reverse but tiredness had taken over her priorities. 

She headed to Seteths quarters. He had asked her to meet with him and Flayn there, she wasn’t sure what the three of them would be doing but she was eager to spend time with them regardless. 

She knocked on his door twice. Silently she scolded herself for forgetting to begin forming a knock pattern, everytime she knocked on a door she was reminded but she kept forgetting nonetheless. 

She heard shuffling behind the door and was about to knock again when she heard Seteth. “Please, come in.” That was a bit odd. Normally Seteth would always open the door when someone knocked on the door to his quarters. 

She opened the door, closing it behind her out of habit before she even looked into the room. As the door clicked behind her she heard Flayn and Setet say in unison. “Happy Birthday!” 

“Here we got you flowers!” Flayn had walked up to Byleth before she even had time to react and was pushing the bouquet into her hands. She stood there stunned, looking into the room she could see a small cake on Seteths table. They had gone out of their way to do something so nice for her, she was overjoyed but also at a loss. She looked from Flayn to Seteth not knowing what to do. Their expressions shifted from cheerful smiles to frowns. She must have done something wrong, but what was it? 

“Byleth. What's wrong?” Why had Seteth asked her that, was she not the one at fault? Then she felt what had caused their frowns, she was crying. She had been so overwhelmed that she had started crying, but she wasn’t upset, she was happy. She shook her head and bent down to hug Flayn. 

After pulling out of Flayns bear hug she moved deeper into the room and hugged Seteth. She wiped away her tears and signed to both of them. “Thank you. No one has ever done anything like this for me before.” Her hands moved so quickly she wasn’t sure if they’d be able to understand them so she repeated herself slower. 

For a split second she worried that they would think less of her for having such an outburst but then she reminded herself who they were. They cared about her enough to surprise her with a birthday celebration they wouldn’t care about a few tears. 

“Here.” Seteth had pulled out a chair for her, once she sat down he did the same for Flayn. He was ever the gentleman.

Once sitting she pulled her book out and was about to reach in for her inkwell and quill when she felt Flayn’s hand lightly touch her shoulder, she turned to look at her and saw her gesturing to a quill and inkwell that had already been sitting on the table. 

She smiled, taking the quill and ink. “Thank you both so much.”

“You needn’t thank us. We wanted to do something nice for you since it is your birthday.” 

Flayn was as joyful as ever and she appreciated that, seeing Flayn so happy made her smile.

She looked across the table at Seteth, his usual stoic expression was nowhere to be found; it was replaced with a fond smile. 

“I feel like I haven’t thanked you enough but if you insist.” While she let the two of them read she couldn’t help but look at the cake, she hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner and was quite hungry. 

“Would you like a slice?” Seteth asked after he noticed her staring. “We weren’t sure what your preference was between chocolate and vanilla. So we made a layer of each.” 

“You baked it?” She signed the question before reaching for her book to write it assuming they hadn’t learned the word for baked yet. 

To her surprise Seteth replied before she had even dipped her quill in the ink. “Yes, we did.”

“In truth my brother did most of the actual baking. I had simply gathered the ingredients for him.”

“Do not discredit yourself, you put in just as much effort as I did.” Seteth said as he handed her a plate with a slice of cake on it.

She felt like she was about to cry again but willed herself not to. She was so touched by what they had done for her. She had never felt special on her birthday before, she had never celebrated it. Now thanks to the two of them both of those things had changed. 

The cake was delicious, it was no doubt the best cake she had ever eaten. She normally found cake too sweet or bland in flavor, but this cake had just the right amount of sugar and it was rich in flavor. Of course Seteth was secretly an incredible baker, she appreciated that he and Flayn had taken the time to make her a cake. 

The three of them chatted over cake, her responses were short considering she was signing instead of writing them. Flayn would sometimes have to translate for her as Seteth didn’t know as much as she did.

Once they had their fill of cake Flayn had left the room briefly and returned carrying a small bag. She sat back down and placed the bag on the table in front of Byleth. “We got you a present.” 

“Thank you. You shouldn’t have.” She signed to them before opening the bag to see what was inside. 

The first thing she saw was something that looked similar to a quill but it was mechanical. She turned it over in her hands as she tried to figure out what it was. 

“It’s a pen. It has an ink reservoir inside of it, so you do not need to use an inkwell to write with it.” Seteth explained. “If you turn the knob on the end of it, ink will flow to the nib.” 

She turned the knob just as he said and pressed the nip to a piece of paper. She wrote a random sentence to test it out, it wrote just like a quill would though it did feel different in her hand. As she wrote the sentence she realized just how useful the pen would be, for one she’d be able to communicate with people easier since she’d no longer have to look for a place to set her inkwell whenever she wrote.

“Thank you, this will be very helpful for me.” She wrote. 

“There is more in the bag.” Flayn did not contain her excitement.

“You needn’t rush her.” Seteth gently scolded his sister.

“She isn’t rushing me.” Flayns eagerness was adorable to her but she thought it best to keep that to herself.

Looking back into the bag she pulled out two books. The first was a novel, she skimmed over the summary; it looked interesting. 

“I hope you enjoy it, I haven’t read it myself but it was highly reviewed and it seemed like a story you’d enjoy.” Flayn was right, the genre was one of her favorites and judging from the synopsis it looked like something she’d really enjoy.

“I shall read it cover to cover then give you my full review.” 

She looked at the other book. It was a journal similar to the one she carried with her to communicate with. Opening it she saw the first page had some of her pre-written sentences in it already, though they were not word for word. She had seen the handwriting enough to recognize it as Seteths. He or Flayn must have noticed that she had been running out of pages in her current journal.  

She placed both of the books into her satchel though she left the pen out so she could use it while talking to them. Now that the gift opening was over the three of them could simply spend time together. She was grateful for the gifts but spending time with the two of them was what she enjoyed most about today. 

It felt like they had talked for minutes, in reality they had stayed up into the later hours of the night talking about an endless assortment of topics. Sometimes when the conversations would slow Flayn or Seteth would propose a game to play to pass the time, it was always a simple game like tic tac toe but it was enjoyable nonetheless, especially considering Byleth had missed out on playing silly games like that in her youth. 

Eventually though the party had to end, Flayn had left to go to her quarters and Byleth stayed behind to help Seteth clean up. The cleaning went by too fast for her liking, she wished it would have dragged on longer so that she could spend more time with him. 

“I hope you weren’t too overwhelmed by us.” Seteths voice broke through her thoughts. She turned to face him shaking her head.

“I was a bit overwhelmed at first.” she admitted in sign. “But after the surprise wore off everything was perfect.” 

She watched as he processed her words. It was a habit of hers now, she watched his face to see if any words were not understood, as he and Flayn learned she saw less and less expressions of confusion. 

“I am glad you liked it.” He signed back. His movements weren’t as precise as hers but she never minded, if anything she found it endearing. She found a lot of the things he did charming perhaps that was just what happened when she became smitten with someone. 

“I loved it.” She corrected him. 

Her eyes glanced to the door, she would be leaving soon despite her longing to stay. She had only spent the night with him once, the night of the ball. The two of them needed to talk, to figure out what they wanted their relationship to be with one another, by the time they had finished speaking exhaustion had taken over her and he allowed her to stay the night.  

Since then their relationship had strengthened and she felt more secure in it. 

“Could I stay the night with you?” She asked, her hands wanted to fidget but stayed still as she signed. 

“I.. Yes, I would like that.” His response mixed with the flush on his cheeks brought a smile to her face that was accompanied by a silent giggle. The two of them both seemed out of their depths when it came to their relationship but they were clumsily stumbling through it together; that was how she viewed it at least, sometimes she wondered if he viewed it the same way. 

They didn’t stay up for much longer, sleep pleaded for each of them. She expected sharing a bed to be awkward, the first time they did it was. This time however no anxiety fluttered within her, it felt natural to share a bed with him. 

He had wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him until her back pressed against his chest. She felt comfortable like this, with him. When previous partners had tried to spoon with her she was always uncomfortable and felt vulnerable. She felt vulnerable now but it was different, it was a comfortable vulnerability like even if something were to happen Seteth would keep her safe.  

Normally when she slept she had vivid nightmares, they happened with such frequency that she no longer was disturbed by them or even frightened for a brief moment when she awoke instead it was just a trivial thing that interrupted her sleep at night. Sometimes she would not dream at all, those nights were blessings as she could sleep undisturbed. That night she had a multitude of dreams, they were fuzzy but full of random happy snippets. 

______________

When Seteth had asked her to join him and Flayn on a trip to Rhodos Coast she agreed. Prior to his request the only thing she knew about the area was that it was sacred land to Saint Cichol and the church, at first she assumed they were going for some religious reason but then Seteth had explained that he and Flayn had a personal tie to the area. 

He didn’t go into further detail and she didn’t pry for more information, he would tell her more when he was ready to. 

When the three left the monastery they left alone, this was a personal trip so there was no need to be accompanied by the knights or any larger group. The only thing out of the ordinary for the trip was how they traveled. Seteth and Flayn had a wyvern and pegasus respectively so it was only logical that they travel by air as it was fastest and safest. Byleth did not have her own flying beast nor much experience riding them, so she had to ride with one of them. She rode with Flayn, the pegasus had more room for an additional person and she had more experience with its land cousins. 

The journey was a quiet one. Seteth and Flayn would occasionally speak to each other, or Flayn would ask her if she was alright to which she’d struggle to respond since she couldn’t write and Flayn was unable to face her.  The trip wasn’t unpleasant though, at least it wasn’t for her. She had kept herself entertained by slipping into her past time of day dreaming while watching the scenery change, she had done the same thing when she was younger riding on the back of her fathers horse. 

The smell of the ocean was the first sign that they were approaching their destination, the second sign was the ocean coming into view.  At first all she saw the waves, but then as they neared she could see people on the beach. People fighting on the beach, now she couldn’t look away her full attention was on the fighting in front of her. 

Blood stained the sandy shore, bodies were being pulled deeper into the ocean by waves. Mystical fire was being cast scorching armor, if they were closer she’d no doubt be smelling the burning flesh; swords were clashing, some finding purchase within the bodies of their opponents.

Her attention was pulled away as she heard Seteth and Flayn. 

“Stay here, I’ll go and assist them!” 

“I am going with you!” 

“No, I don’t want you anywhere near the fighting.”

“You can’t expect me to let you fly in there by yourself. Let us assist you.”

She didn’t want Flayn in battle. She didn’t want either of them in battle, but they were both determined and it was clear to her that they would all be fighting. All they were doing now was wasting time. 

She snapped her fingers to get Seteth’s attention as he was currently looking towards the battle. Once his eyes were on her she signed. “We are going. I will protect her.” 

Seteth paused as though he wanted to protest but he looked away sighing softly. “Promise to Retreat if things turn for the worse.” 

“I promise.” Flayns voice sent a shiver down her spine, it was so solemn. 

With that the three of them flew towards the battle each reaching for their weapons and readying their shields as they neared. 

___

They had entered the battle as members of the losing side but the tide did change. Flayn had been able to heal soldiers who would otherwise have fallen; With his wyvern Seteth was able to fly in and assist allies who were being overpowered. With the sword of the creator and her short supply of magic she was able to fight at both close and far range. Normally she would try to distance herself from the fighting and allow her muscle memory to take over, but today she needed to have her attention on both Flayn and Seteth, if someone seemed to be getting the upper hand on either of them she was quick to provide support.  

She would throw herself against an enemy even if she was at a disadvantage if it were to protect Flayn or Seteth. Because she knew if she were to fall that girl would save her just as she had before, but even if the worst was to happen and time did not rewind she would be alright with dying as long as the two of them were safe.

Despite the odds they had come out victorious. The fight was costly; only a few of the guards had survived, the assailants from the western church had been slain, not one had escaped; if they found any survivors they would be taken prisoner and no doubt executed.  

 Flayn was healing the heavily wounded guards, Seteth was speaking to some of them, probably sorting out the next course of action. She found herself assisting with pulling the bodies from the water and placing them in two distinct groups, enemy and ally;  she did her best to not look at them directly, she learned long ago that any details she noticed would resurface in her dreams. 

_____

Aid had been called and the wounded guards were escorted to a nearby town for treatment, off duty guards were currently en route to take over for their wounded colleagues. Volunteers had come from the nearby town to assist with removing the bodies. They had done what they could in the moment but now they needed to get to Garreg Mach that was where the rest of this mess needed to be sorted. 

Now the three of them were alone on the blood stained coast waiting for the guards to arrive. Seteth and Flayn were both blood covered, she didn’t need a mirror to know she reflected them both. A chill ran down her back just thinking about the blood on her, she didn’t look at herself, she didn’t want to actually see it. Right now she wished she could throw herself into the ocean and rid herself of the blood, the stinging pain of salt would be preferable to the disgust she currently felt. 

She watched as flayn moved the sweat soaked hair that hung in her face away with her bloodied hand. Her stomach churned a new sickness rising within her. She hated seeing Flayn like this, she wished she could have shielded Flayn from all the horror that accompanied battle. 

Flayn walked toward the stone monument in the water, once at the edge of the water she dipped her head and said something though Byleth was too far away to hear it. 

“Thank you for protecting her. I can’t imagine what things would have been like if you were not here.” Seteth’s voice brought her from her thoughts.

“I will always protect her.” She thought back to the times she viewed Seteth as overprotective of Flayn and now it didn’t seem that extreme. She wanted to protect Flayn too not just from battle and its assortment of terrors but also from any avoidable pain or conflict. “I pale in comparison to you but I will protect her regardless.” 

“I thank you for that.” The slight smile that had begun to form fell away into his usual stoic expression. “I had invited you here to tell you something.” He paused to take a breath, preparing his next sentence. “The truth is Flayn is my daughter. This,” he gestured to the monument. “This is the resting place of my former wife.”

For once she was glad she was mute, for she was sure that if she could speak she would probably give a thoughtless response while trying to process the information that he had given her. 

This changed things, it didn’t change her feelings for him or Flayn but it did change things. She would need some time to understand why it changed things. 

“I had no idea. I.. I am glad you trusted me with this.” She rarely stumbled while signing, hopefully he didn’t think anything of it. 

Seteth went on to explain that the lie was to help falsify Flayn’s identify and keep her safe as her blood was unique enough for people to want to harm her for it. 

She didn’t doubt him for a second Flayns kidnapping was proof enough of his words. She cringed as the memories of Flayn lying unconscious in the chamber returned to her, she still needed to make Jeritza pay for what he’d done. 

The new guards had finally arrived and it was now time for them to return to the monastery. The trip back to the monastery wasn’t as quiet as the previous one. For Byleth silence after a battle led to her dwelling on it, she didn’t want Flayn or Seteth dwelling on the fight so she made an effort to talk with Flayn even though it was difficult on horseback.

Chapter Text

She sat next to the fire in the empty campground, her sole companion one of her fathers mercenaries, Douglas. Douglas had been sitting with her telling tales of jobs he had done, the stories got increasingly more jumpled as he drank more. She liked Douglas, he was kind to her, he had taught her how to shoot a bow and also would entertain her with his stories of grandeur.

He still treated her the same now that her voice was gone most of the other mercenaries didn’t interact with her much before she lost her voice now the few that then had stopped talking with her out of annoyance with how long it took her to write a response. 

Right now he was telling the story of the turtle escapade though his words were heavily slurred from his drinking. She had heard this story too many times to count, she could probably retell it better then most of the people who were actually present for it. She never liked this story, it should have been comedical, how a group of mercenaries struggled in a fight against a giant turtle monster, but it wasn’t funny to her. She loved turtles and wished that they would have just let the monster be even if it was becoming a problem for villagers. 

He had stopped telling the story and at her something, it took a moment for her to translate his incoherent speech into something she could understand. He had asked what was wrong with her, why was she acting like ‘that’. She didn’t understand the question and opened her mouth to respond before closing it and grabbing her quill and a loose sheet of paper. She dipped her quill into the inkwell next to her on the bench and began writing her response. 

She paused as he began to speak again, his voice agitated and more coherent than his last sentence. “What you not gonna -hic- talk ta me.” 

She tried writing faster hoping that he’d be able to read her response. 

“Look at me!” His voice was suddenly filled with anger that stopped her from her writing, jerking her head up she looked at him, he was now standing seething, completely different then how he was before.

“Demon.” he spat the word. “What the fuck -hic- are you -hic- doing?” 

She handed him the hastily written note, he didn’t look at it as he crumpled it into a ball and chucked it into the fire.

She watched as her words flew into the air, turning black as they burned as if they never existed to begin with.

He leaned down getting into her face, the smell of his breath made her want to crinkle her nose in disgust at the alcoholic smell. “You little Bitch!” she didn’t understand where this anger was coming from but it was causing dread to build within her. 

He lifted his hand, bringing it down he struck her in the face with enough force to make her fall backwards off the bench. She scrambled to get to her feet as he stumbled towards her fists clenched ready to strike her. 

The next moment was a flash, her reaching for her dagger on her belt as he got closer to her, then the warm feeling accompanied by a whimper being silenced. His blood ran down the dagger onto her hand, it had struck him in the throat and now he stood there frozen while his life left him as he gasped for breath. She would never forget the sound of him gurgling on his blood, the feeling of it as it ran down her arm, or the look in his eyes as he stared down his killer.

—-

She rolled over in her bed burying her head in her pillow in annoyance, the memory of her first kill had awakened her yet again. The most annoying part of that dreaded dream was that the details weren’t entirely accurate but the memory was so foggy she could never remember which parts were wrong. She was wide awake now, her only hope was that sleep would return to her at some point before the next day. 

Sitting up she reached for the candle on her bedside table, she lit it, her small room instantly filling with light. Sitting the candle back down she reached for her satchel, quickly she retrieved the book Flayn had gifted her from it. She had already read the book start to finish three times, now usually she would flip to random parts of the story. She read through a chapter but could hardly focus on the words, she was full of energy and her body longed to get out of her room. 

She closed the book, slipping it back into her satchel. Getting up she changed out of her nightwear before she dressed herself she checked some of her still healing wounds from rhodos coast, they were healing nicely though she had one injury she still had to put ointment on, it was a small injury but she had tried to use healing magic on it and burnt herself in the process.

After caring for her injury she dressed herself, and was now ready to leave.

 Upon opening her door she was met with a cold wind and the sight of fresh snow flakes powdering the ground. She retrieved an older coat that she rarely used. It wasn’t the most efficient at keeping out the cold but it was better than nothing, she made a mental note to get a new coat this year.

—-

She walked the monastery grounds aimlessly, wanting for her legs to get tired so that she could return to sleep. She briefly considered tiring herself out in the training grounds but she shot the idea down as soon as it came to mind, she would surely feel terrible in the morning if she did late night training. 

As she turned through one of the empty halls she heard footsteps, stopping she strained to hear where they were coming from. She could hear them coming from around the corner, she stood still in the darkness waiting to see who was approaching. As the steps neared she asked herself why she was doing this, the person was probably a student or employee there was no need for her to intrude on their business. 

Then the person turned the corner and through the darkness she recognized who it was. Flayn, the girl jolted, dropping something once she saw Byleth standing there.  

Byleth walked forward, signing an apology even though it was surely too dark for Flayn to see. 

Once Flayn had gotten a better look at her she calmed.

“You gave me a freight.” She admitted the obvious as she bent down picking up a folded piece of paper. “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” She had to sign twice, the darkness of the building heavily limiting her ability to speak. She wondered what Flayn was doing up at this hour, was it possible she struggled with sleep as well? She returned the question to Flayn.

“I..” She paused, turning the paper over in her hands a few times. “I was on my way to the advice box.”

“Asking or giving?” She used fewer words so that it was easier for Flayn to understand her.

After a moment Flayn replied. “I am seeking it.” She understood Flayn’s hesitance to answer, the advice box was very secretive, both the seekers and advisors were supposed to be anonymous. 

“I will not tell a soul you went.”

Flayn seemed to get the general statement judging from the relief in her voice. “I am ever so grateful.” 

She walked towards the door, the darkness of the building was getting on her nerves. The dim light offered by the moonlight would be drastically better. After a moment she heard the footsteps of Flayn coming to join her. 

Now in the light it was much easier to see Flayn. She wondered how Flayn had even been able to see her signing in the dark of the room before.

She noticed that Flayn was wearing her usual attire, she didn’t have a coat and her clothes surely weren’t enough to protect her from the cold. 

“Aren’t you cold?” She was cold and she was wearing a coat, surely Flayn must be freezing.

“Not particularly. In fact I hardly even noticed it was cold.” 

She looked at the fresh snow falling onto the ground, it was heavier now. By morning she expected that the pathways would either need to be shoveled or people would be up to their knees in snow. 

“It’s freezing.” 

“Pardon me but I did not understand that second word.” 

She reached into her satchel, withdrawing her book and pen. Opening to a blank page she wrote. 

“It is freezing. Regardless of how little the cold affects you, you should still wear a coat. You might catch a cold.”

“While I appreciate your concern, it is not needed. I rarely fall ill and I am quite healthy.” Her voice was soft and reassuring.

It did not put her at ease. She felt her jaw clench slightly in irritation. She disliked it when people said they were healthy as if it would prevent them from getting sick entirely. Illness could affect anyone and it didn’t care how healthy someone was when it decided to worsen.

Perhaps Flayn noticed her irritation, for she spoke again. “Your concern is not needed but I will wear a coat the next time I go out.”  

She signed a thank you. 

Flayn turned to look towards the cathedral, no doubt thinking of the advice box. “Would you like to accompany me?”

She nodded, feeling the edges of her lips curl into a smile she couldn’t stop. 

The two walked in relative silence to the cathedral. Once at the advice box Flayn hesitated to put her paper in, she folded it in her hands turning around.

“On second thought perhaps I shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I do not believe that anyone will be able to give advice that would help me. Honestly it was silly of me to have come here.” 

“What were you asking for advice on?” It was strange to see Flayn doubt herself.

She shook her head. “It was quite silly, honestly.” She shoved the paper into Byleth’s hand.

She opened the note, reading it. “I fear falling asleep at night. I worry that I will not awaken for many years, and that when I do, all of my friends will be gone.”  

“It was quite foolish of me to be asking for advice on a silly fear.” She laughed but it was hollow.

“I don’t think it’s silly.” She told the truth. She understood the fear and she herself shared it somewhat, she didn’t fear falling asleep but she did fear waking up one day and her father being gone, she assumed everyone feared losing the people they loved and being left alone. 

“Truly?” She couldn’t tell whether Flayn believed her or not.

“Truly. I wish I could tell you that you’ll never sleep for a long time.” She couldn’t though because she knew that it was possible to lose many days to sleep, though she only lost  weeks not years. A chill ran down her spine as she remembered being a complete bed ridden mess, waking for brief delirious minutes before falling back into a fevered slumber.

“But I can’t. What I can say is that, I and your other friends will be there for you when you wake up.” 

Flayn smiled though it seemed forced. “I just.. I don’t want to sleep for years..”

“Then we won’t let that happen.”

She dropped the forced smile, she seemed at ease now but not happy. “I am grateful for that. I know it is a fantastical fear but I am afraid regardless.” 

“We all have fears, there is no need to act like yours is less legitimate then others.” She wrote her response this time because she didn’t want anything to be lost in translation.

“What are you afraid of?” The question caught her off guard but it shouldn’t have given the conversation.

She sighed, it was only fair that Flayn know one of her fears in exchange.  “I am scared of being trapped. That I’ll fall into a pit, or get locked in a closet, and I’ll be trapped forever.” 

“If you were to go missing we would not stop searching until we found you. Just like when you found me.” This time her smile was genuine and it made Byleth smile in return. 

Another shiver ran through her, this one caused by the cold. Seriously, how was Flayn not freezing?

“We should go, it’s getting colder.” 

 Flayn agreed and the two left, returning to their respective quarters.

_________

She had been wrong about the snow being up to knee height, it was actually up to waist height. A snow day was declared for the officers academy, any missions that knights were preparing to leave for had been delayed until the weather cleared, and she was also given the day off as the training grounds were vacant of students for the day, instead its only visitors were knights and guards. 

The students had decided to spend their day off having fun with winter games. The pond had frozen over so the students had decided to go ice skating on it, a small section had been cleared off for those who wanted to ice fish. The three houses had also decided to have two contests, The first being a snow sculpting contest, the second being a mock battle of sorts where their only weapons were snowballs. She enjoyed watching the students smile and giggle as they enjoyed their days. It was nice seeing them behaving like the children that they were. 

“Have you ever been ice skating?” She asked her father as they walked past the pond, some students were decent at skating barely fumbling, others were falling as soon as they made the smallest of movements. 

“I can’t say I have.” he chuckled as he watched two students topple over one other. “Do you want to learn?” 

She shrugged. “Maybe, do you?”

“Nope. I am too old to be breaking my ass.” 

“You can’t be that old if you’re worrying about your ass and not your hip.” 

“I said I was old, not elderly.” She laughed silently. She was happy to finally be able to spend time with him again and have it not be spent talking about the church or missions or that important matter they never had enough time to talk about. 

“Hey, Captain!” Her laugh stopped instantly, her face fell back into its usual neutral expression as the two of them turned to face a snow covered Leoni and Ingrid. “Me and Ingrid were having this debate on knights and mercenaries and we were wondering if you could settle it for us.” 

What should have been a quick question and answer turned into a several minute long conversation that she tuned out of quickly. This happened often, her and her fathers conversations got interrupted a lot even before coming to the monastery. She never minded though, or at least she told herself that enough times that she had started believing it. Her father was the leader of a mercenary company, now he is the leader of the knights of Serios, both positions made him fairly popular and people were always eager to talk to him.

“I will go ahead to the dining hall.” She excused herself from the conversation that she wasn’t even really a part of. 

The dining hall was crowded, more crowded than usual. Students, faculty, knights, and her fathers mercenaries all were bustling about. The knights were playing a game of cards at one table, Shamir seemed to be the one winning. At another table a group of snow covered students were warming up with a meal. She saw Flayn sitting at a table with some of the blue lions, she was talking to Dedue while the other students seemed to be having a larger group conversation next to them. In the corner she could see a trio of golden deer students talking, no doubt scheming something considering the stray glances to the Blue Lions table and composition of the group, Claude, Hilda, and Dorothea who transferred to their class. 

She was able to find two vacant seats at a table made up of her fathers mercenaries, sitting down in her own seat she placed her satchel in the other one to save it for her father. 

She was met with a wave of “Hey, Demon!” by the table, the person she sat next to gave her a friendly shove of the shoulder. She didn’t respond to the greetings or the shove, instead she stared ahead, straight through the person across from her as if none of them existed. 

If someone asked her why she acted this way she would be unable to answer, it was simply how she had always acted around the mercenaries. She was distant with most people but especially the mercenaries she spent most of her life traveling with. 

It hardly took a second for them to act as if she wasn’t there, they all went back to their conversations and meals. She stared forward listening to all of them around her as she waited for her father to come and join them, his addition would not change her demeanor but it would make her feel more at ease. 

Her intuition was proved correct when she heard a commotion from the Blue Lions table followed by an argument erupting between them and three black eagle students, well an argument with Ferindand and Caspar and linhardt was with them. Looking back at the golden deer students, she saw a glimpse of a smirk on one of their faces as they quietly left.  

The argument was escalating as now the students had left their seats and were yelling at one another, she glanced around the room, surely someone was heading towards the students to break them up.

For the briefest of moments she was struck with terror, thinking that none of the professors were there and the responsibility to descalete would fall to her, but then she saw manuela and Hannaman both heading to the students and she felt relief wash over her. 

Within thirty seconds the argument between the students had ended, it was completely forgotten in favor of paying attention to the argument that had started between their professors. Someone should probably stop the argument between the professors, someone who held more authority than they did, that someone was not her. She glanced at the door as it opened, she saw her father walk in look at the screaming professors then immediately leave. She was one to follow his example so she collected her satchel so that she could leave behind him. 

As she passed the tables she noticed Flayn also quietly getting up to leave, she held the door for her as they exited the building. 

Hearing the door open behind him, Jeralt turned around. “What was that about?” He signed the question.

“No idea.” “Their fighting because their classes were fighting.” She and Flayn both responded but Flayn spoke her response. 

Her father blinked in surprise at Flayn’s response, she hadn’t yet told him that she had befriended Flayn and Seteth and that they were learning sign. 

“What was the original fight about anyway?”

“Caspar took Annette's prize from the sculpting contest.” So that was their scheme, stealing Annette's prize and planting it on Caspar to start a fight between the two houses. Now she knew what they did but she still wasn’t sure why they did it. 

She sighed, pulling out her book and pen. She had to let the professors know that Caspar wasn’t actually a thief and let them know to speak to the third professor about his class. 

Once she wrote an explanation she entered the dining hall again, the argument had gotten louder and neither of their classes were anywhere in sight. She walked up to Manuela and tapped her on the shoulder twice to get her attention, once the professor whirled around she pressed the note into her hand. Thankfully Manuela actually read it, she then wordlessly passed it to Hanneman. 

Her job being complete she exited again before the two could start arguing again. Outside her father and Flayn were talking about the weather. 

“I believe the matter is resolved.” She signed as she joined the two of them. 

“What a relief!” she bit back a smile at Flayns delight. 

“Do you still want to go fishing?” Her father signed the question to which she nodded.

“Could I watch you fish?” She liked having Flayn accompany her while she fished, she always got so excited whenever she reeled in a big one, or a small one, or anything with gills and scales. 

Normally she would answer yes without hesitation but this time she looked towards her father to see what he thought. He caught her eye and gave a slight nod, giving her permission to make the decision. 

She nodded to Flayn and the three of them left to go to the pond. 

—-

She considered herself a decent fisher, perhaps slightly better then average but in comparison to her father she was nothing. He was an incredible fisher, some saying he was unnaturally gifted at it. He would always catch a fish no matter how sparse they were in any body of water, the pond was plentiful with fish as such it was like he was reeling them in the second his line was cast. In comparison she would hook a fish every few minutes. 

Flayn seemed absolutely awestruck with how many fish the two of them were catching. Her father threw most of his back saying that he wanted to leave some fish for everybody else.

Her father wasn’t good at small talk and thankfully Flayn picked that up relatively quickly, she quietly would talk with Byleth and patiently wait as Byleth maneuvered her rod around so that she could sign while still holding onto it. 

If Byleth or Jeralt got tired sometimes they would let Flayn take over for them, Jeralt had offered to get Flayn a rod so that she could fish instead of just watching but she declined the offer. She wasn’t sure why Flayn never joined her when she fished, she was good at it, she knew how to do it but she preferred watching. 

After an hour the cold had started getting to herself and her father, Flayn seemed unbothered but it must have started affecting her as well. The three of them decided to call it a day, Flayn left to go watch the snowball tournament between the three houses, Byleth and her father went to give the fish to the cooks in the dining hall. 

After dropping off the fish she had said her goodbye to him and was about to leave the dining hall but he stopped her. “I just want you to know I am glad you have a friend, it is nice seeing you open with someone aside from me.” 

Her eyes drifted to the people around them, none of them knew sign but she still felt uneasy talking about this around other people. “Thanks.” 

He could read her easily enough and ended the conversation there.

______

It happened so fast, one second they were fighting side by side against demonic beasts, moving about the battlefield together like they were participating in a carefully crafted dance. The next he was sending a girl off, the very girl she had saved from the chamber with Flayn, Monica. Then the girl pulled forth a dagger and stabbed him through the back, unsheathing the sword of the creator she ran forward attempting to cut the girl down where she stood. It didn’t matter though her attack was stopped as another person teleported in shielding Monica from her fury, he spoke words before teleporting away with the red head.

She slumped the ground holding her father in her arms as panic coursed through her, she could feel his warm blood against her hand. “Fa-” The raspy whisper was cut off as pain rippled through her throat.

She felt tears welling up, not because of the pain in her throat but because her father was slipping away in front of her. She needed to help him; she couldn’t let this happen, not to him, she couldn’t lose him. 

He was trying to speak to her but she couldn’t hear it over the blood rushing in her ears and the panic that grew within her as she felt her hand get covered in more of his blood. His blood, that was it! She needed to stop him from bleeding. She needed to try to heal him, even if she failed perhaps she could castrize the wound and that would give him enough time for a healer to see him.

Taking a breath she closed her eyes and tired focusing on the wound visualizing it, but all she could see was him. Him smiling and laughing with his mercenaries, him hugging her so tightly she thought she would snap in half after she survived her sickness, him staying up with her late into the night learning to sign with her, him teaching her how to bait a hook, him teaching her to read and write. As all these memories rushed through her she felt her fingers tingle with magical energy, but it wasn't a searing hot energy like usual, it was cool like water rushing from her and into his wound. 

A wave of dizziness hit her, she slumped down but did not stop trying to heal him. She opened her eyes, everything was blurry, darkness was tugging at the edges of her vision, another wave of dizziness hit her and she had to rest her head on his chest for it was too heavy for her to hold it up on her own. Exhaustion was trying to take over her, but she continued trying to heal him, she could die of exhaustion and not care as long as he lived. She could only hold on a few more seconds before the exhaustion won and unconsciousness claimed her.

_______

The first thing to greet her as her consciousness began to return was the unmistakable smell of the infirmary and hushed voices. She was confused wondering why she was there. Then the memory hit her, she shot upright ignoring the pain that coursed through her and her aching bodies desperate plea for her to return to her previous position. 

A curtain surrounded her bed blocking her view of the rest of the infirmary. As she placed her feet on the ground and attempted to stand she instantly felt a wave of dizziness strike her, threatening to knock her down. Taking a breath she forced herself up and opened the curtain, instantly a healer was walking to her.

 “Ma’am, please sit down.” 

She shook her head, moving farther into the infirmary. Many beds had closed curtains around them but which one was her father in, she needed to see him, to know he was alive and okay. She approached the bed next to hers and pulled back the curtain, a student she didn’t recognize was in there. She was about to head to the next bed but the healer had grabbed her wrist.

“Ma’am you need to sit down.” Her voice was more irritated now.  Her grip was tight around Byleth’s wrist. 

She yanked her wrist out of her grip and tried to continue on but now the woman grabbed her by the upper arm and forcefully pulled her back. The motion was enough to make a wave of dizziness wash over her and she almost fell but the woman caught her. She held her up by the armpits and attempted to restrain her physically. 

She fought against the woman’s surprisingly strong grip so she could get away from her so she could look for her father. 

“Byleth.” She continued fighting against the woman, hardly registering Seteth’s voice.

“Byleth!” He repeated himself louder this time, his hands gripped around her arms gently restraining them. She stopped resisting and looked up to meet his eyes. The woman's grip loosened slightly now that she wasn’t actively fighting against her.  

“Sit down, speak with me.” Seteth’s voice was soft and soothing. 

In response she simply nodded, suddenly she felt like her strength had been sapped from her.

The healer released her now and stepped away. Byleth was sure she was glaring daggers at her but she didn’t care.

Seteth walked with her back to bed she had been in previously. She sat down to her aching muscles delight. Her hands were shaking, shaking worse then they ever had before as she started to sign to Seteth.

 “Where is my Father?” She didn’t need to look at him to know that her words would be difficult to understand, goddess her hands were shaking so much!  She signed the question repeatedly almost mindlessly. 

She stopped signing when Seteths hands gently grasped hers. When she looked up at him he began to speak. 

“Your father is alive.” That sentence alone made her finally release the breath she wasn’t aware she was holding onto, but then he continued speaking. 

“He is in critical condition, Manuela and many of our best healers are with him now.” 

Her mouth had now gone dry, as dread crept within her. She needed to be with him now, there was still a chance that she would lose him, she needed to be there to make sure that didn’t happen.  She went to stand up but Seteth  stopped her.

“I assure you they are taking the utmost care of him. Right now you being there would only serve as a hindrance to them. You will be able to visit him as soon as his condition is more stable.” She wanted to protest, to demand that she be with her father now but if her being there could lead to her fathers state worsening- she felt sick just considering it.

She looked at the floor. She needed to be with her father to make sure he was alright, but if she was there she could distract the healers and he might die. She felt her eyes welling up with tears again but this time she had nothing to distract her from them as they fell. 

She heard Seteth close the curtain to give her privacy, but she didn’t care if anyone saw her crying. She had much more to be worried about right now. She felt a weight join her on the bed and felt Seteth taking her hand in his once again. 

She leaned against Seteths shoulder, thankful for the support. As time went on her crying worsened eventually turning to silent sobs she struggled to breath between. Seteth stayed with her comforting her in this moment of weakness. He didn’t mind as her tears left a growing wet spot on his tunic, or when her grip on his hand would occasionally tightened painfully. He would switch between stroking her hair and rubbing comforting circles on her back to help calm her. 

Crying was exhausting, the battle was exhausting, using more magic then she should have was exhausting. Eventually exhaustion overtook her for a second time.

__________

It took two days before they would allow her to be in the same room as her father, his condition still wasn’t as stable as they would like but he was no longer on death's door.

She sat at his bedside constantly for the following four days. She would only leave when the healers forced her to, Whether it be to treat his wounds or hers. 

She had been wounded by the beasts during the battle and the injuries they left behind were at a high risk of becoming infected. Normally she took excellent care of her injuries, but now she could hardly care for herself; a voice in the back of her head told her she should care for herself, that if she got an infection it would take care away from her father but that voice was drowned out by a louder one that told her she needed to be at his side or something terrible would happen. 

She instantly shifted her attention to the door as it opened, she reached for the dagger that wasn’t at her side in case the person entering was a threat. She eased up when she saw it was Seteth, he would occasionally come to check on her. 

“He hasn’t changed.” She signed, assuming Seteth was going to ask about Jeralts condition.

“I am more concerned about you right now.” 

Her gaze fell to the floor. “I am fine.” 

She heard Seteth sigh softly. “I know that is not the case. I understand you want to care for him but please take the time to care for yourself.” 

“I am caring for myself.” She felt nothing so she was probably alright.

“When was the last time you ate?”

She couldn’t remember, she wasn’t hungry so it must not have been that long ago.

“Earlier.” 

“Earlier when? Today? Yesterday?” His voice was gentle but the challenge was there nonetheless. 

“I do not know.” 

“Would you like to go to the dining hall. You really should eat.” 

She shook her head. “I am not hungry. Besides, I want to be here if he needs me.” She woke up alone without him when she was sick, she felt utterly abandoned in the moment, she didn’t want him to wake up feeling the same. 

“If I bring you food, could you eat some of it?” 

She nodded reluctantly. 

Seteth left and returned shortly with a tray and meal. He didn’t need to bring it himself, he was busy and could have easily had a maid bring it to her, regardless she appreciated it. She didn’t realize how hungry she had been until food was in front of her. 

____

Later that night her father’s condition seemed to be improving. 

Chapter Text

It did not take long for Byleth to become accustomed to the infirmary, she hardly left it for fear of Monica coming to finish her father off. 

Occasionally Alois or Leonie would stop by to ask about his condition. Seteth and Flayn would check up on her to ensure she was taking care of herself. Those were the expected visitors but there was one unexpected one.

“Uhh…what are you doing bernie..you should’ve just stayed in your room..Should I just leave it at the door..I don’t want to knock..ugh.”  The voice of the flighty student could be heard from beyond the closed door. Not wanting the girl to spiral farther byleth opened the door sparing her from more anxiety induced hesitation. 

Bernadetta jumped back, fumbling with a bag in her hands the beginning of her panic spells was clearly about to start. To Byleth’s surprise Bernadetta did not immediately yell in a frenzy instead she gulped and straightened her shoulders, this was the tallest the girl had ever looked to Byleth.

“I’m sorry if I'm interrupting, I’ll make this quick.” She held the bag out to byleth along with a small bouquet that was previously not noticed. “The f-flowers are for the captain and.. I brought you some things to pass the time with while you're holed up in the room.” 

Byleth took the bag and flowers from bernie. She gave the girl an appreciative nod, before she could even grab her book to write her thanks, Bernadetta had left the bravery she had being overtaken by her fear of social interaction.

Byleth placed the bouquet of yellow flowers and baby’s breath into an empty cup on the bedside table. Opening the bag she found a few items, a few spools of different colored  thread, a needle, a hoop with fabric pressed between the two loops, and a few spare pieces of fabric.

At first she was unsure of what they were for but after a few moments she remembered hearing that bernadetta had a fondness for embroidery, She must have thought Byleth would enjoy it as well. 

_____

It took a few days before Byleth started using the embroidery kit Bernadetta had left her. She had planned on returning it but decided to use it instead at the behest of flayn who had quickly started imagining elaborate designs that Byleth would never be able to craft considering her only experience with a needle was sewing her coat.

“Perhaps you could make a deer standing on a cliff while the sun rises over the ocean behind it. Ooo A flock of wyverns shining silver in the moonlight. Oh you’ve started! What will you be crafting?” 

“Fish.” Byleth signed.

“A School of fish in a coral reef?”

“No.”

“A fish being reeled in?”

“No.”

“A red fish.”

“No.”

“A Blue fish?”

“No.”

“Two fish?”

“No.”

“One fish?”

“Yes.” 

“What type of fish.”

“A green fish.” 

“I love green fish, they taste the best!” 

Flayn leaned over Byleths shoulder to see the crude outline of a fish she was creating. 

“It looks excellent already, why you must have a natural talent for embroidery.” 

She couldn’t help but silently giggle at Flayns flattery. She greatly enjoyed her time with Flayn. The girl distracted her from her worries and ridded the room of the despair that encased it. 

“If either of us have talent for this it would be you.” She was sure Flayn would be able to actually make the scenes she created in her mind's eye. 

“I wouldn’t be so certain of that if I were you.”

“It’s a good thing you aren’t me then. Here, try it for yourself.” She passed the hoop and needle to Flayn. Now that her hands were free she’d have a much easier time keeping up with the conversation 

___

Neither her nor Flayn were right, they were equally matched in how poorly their first attempts at embroidery were. 

“I guess we are both gifted then.” 

“That’s one way to look at it.” Byleth signed in response. “It was fun regardless.”

“I agree wholeheartedly, though now I’m carving fish. Say, why don’t we go to the dining hall together.”

Byleth looked at the bed where Jeralt laid comatose, then to Flayn who was smiling at her expectantly. 

“You do not have to stay long.” 

“Okay.” she signed hesitantly. 

With that the two left to go to the dining hall.

_____

A few minutes into their meal their table was approached by none other than the adrestrian princess, Edelgard.

“Hello professor, It is nice to see you around the monastery again.”

In turn Byleth flipped open her notebook and pointed to the words ‘thank you’ . 

“I heard that they located those responsible for your fathers attack, that must be quite reassuring for you. Will you be among those who attack them?”

‘Pardon?’

“Will there not be an assault on the perpetrators?” Edelgard seemed just as confused as Byleth felt. 

“It does not concern you.” she scribbled down her cold response. With that Edelgard apologized and promptly left her and Flayn be. 

An anger was beginning to brew but she kept a firm lid on it for now, she couldn’t become upset because of rumors students approached her with. She looked towards Flayn who wore a clueless expression openly on her face. If there was any merit to Edelgards words, Flayn was unaware of it, but that didn’t matter; she knew who would. 

“I will be heading back to the infirmary.” she signed standing up.

“I’ll accompany you.” 

“No, stay and eat. I'd rather walk alone.” 

“Are you certain?”

“Yes, I will see you later.”

____

The walk to Seteths office was familiar but this was the first time she’d be heading there with her emotions boiling. 

Still she knocked on the door out of habit before entering without waiting for a response. Seteth was alone, his face was its usual stern expression until he saw who entered, then it softened. 

He opened his mouth to greet her but she was already signing before he could get a word out. “Did you locate Monica and the others she is working with?”

He did not need to speak; she could already tell from his face that it was true. Before she would have never been able to read him so easily but now she knew him. The stiffening of his jaw, the slight twitch of his eye, the small hesitance before his response were all giveaways to her.

“It is more complicated then that.”

“Yes or No. is she located?”

“Yes, however we believe it to be a-” He stopped speaking as she began signing.

“Where is she located?”

“Byleth we don’t have enough units to launch an attack especially when it’s-”

“I do not care about that where-”

“Byleth! Please just let me speak without interruption!” His voice was raising with irritation.

“We believe it to be a trap to lure the few knights we have into a trap, we cannot attack when we are at such a disadvantage!” 

“I did not ask about an attack, I asked where she is.” 

“Why? So you can throw your life away falling right into their trap!” his voice had risen to the point of yelling.

She clenched her fists before storming out the room, slamming the door behind her as she left. 

_____

She had learned the location of Monica from Edelgard and then began plotting her attack. She was not certain that she would survive even if the girl that saved her before intervened, but she was certain of one thing: she'd take Monica down with her. 

If she survived she would then find the others who lead the attack along with Monica and make them suffer as well.

For the first time in weeks she entered her room to gather the equipment she’d need for the upcoming battle. She grabbed her concoctions, her bow, her quiver, the veil of poison which she could lace her blade with, and a dull sword. She’d kill her quickly if necessary but would much prefer to drag out Monica’s death. 

A knock on her door instantly had her biting her lip, she could guess who was on the other side of it and upon opening it she was proven right. Seteth stood before her, it had been awhile since she had seen him like this towards her ; Seteth the advisor instead of just Seteth. 

“You can’t stop me.” she wished for a moment that her signs conveyed the emotion that words could. Her resolve, stubbornness, determination, and anger; anger that he had tried to withhold this information from her.

“I know.” For a moment he sounded almost defeated, then he cleared his throat and continued. “I spoke with the archbishop, she has decided to deploy you along with a small group of knights, and the blue lions class onto the location of the assailants. You will deploy tomorrow night, Professor Hannaman will be leading the assault.”  

With that it was as if he slipped out of his advisor mode, his face softened and the sternness that is always present in his voice became more gentle. 

“Please do not throw your life away. I cannot afford to lose you, my love.” 

“I will live, I will be careful. I promise you that.”

“I wish that was all I ask of you but I have one more request. Please forgive me for keeping this information from you and for my reaction earlier, I wanted only to keep you safe.”

“All is forgiven.”

___________

Her foolishness had let Kroyna slip from her grasp, she should have cut her down but of course she let her emotions overcome her and she used the dull blade to attempt to make her suffer.

She then continued to be foolish by chasing Kroyna alone straight to Solon. Kroyna was dead now her heart being used in some spell that was now enveloping her, she tried to run but it was as if invisible chains held her in place, and then all was black.

The darkness was like being underwater but on solid ground, it surrounded her, it terrified her. She could hear what sounded like serpents slithering just beyond her.

“YOU FOOL! Thanks to you we are trapped, and this darkness is terrifying!” The girl from all those months ago was back.

“Do you not have anything to say to me!”

Byleth tried to convey that she was mute through gestures.

“I can understand your language.”

That was surprising to her though it should be the least surprising thing about her situation.

“Who are you?”

“You’ve forgotten Me ? After everything we’ve been through you’ve forgotten me as if I were a stranger!”

“No, no I remember you saved me from the bandit but you never told me your name.”

“I see, so one little cold is enough to make you lose your memories of me. I will never get used to such frail human constitutions.”

“At the very least we will have plenty of time to catch up. Tell me are you prepared to walk this endless, timeless void until you’ve lost your mind and forgotten everything except the darkness?” every word she spoke slashed at Byleth like a cold fear imbued whip 

“What, No! there must be a way out!” 

“You are fortunate that I am here, I will join with you now and give you the power to cut through this veil.”

“Join with me. What does that mean?” 

“Worry not. I have been with you every moment of your existence and I will continue to be with you. Now prepare to embrace my gift.”

She could not get another word in as they reached out and suddenly things went white. She felt her hand reach for her sword and proceeded to find purchase in something that she then climbed out of. She then could feel her body fighting but she could neither see nor control what she was doing.

______

The first thing she heard was singing. It was fuzzy, then she opened her eyes and saw Rhea. in a panic she tried to sit up but Rhea held her down with a single hand on her chest, despite her appearance Rhea was surprisingly strong.

“You are safe, now rest.”

She brought her hands up to try to sign to Rhea.

“The goddess has gifted you. Her blessings will have restored your faults so please use your voice to speak to me.”

“What do you mean by that, I am not bro-” Rhea clasped her hands over Byleth’s preventing her from signing farther. “Please do not be stubborn, embrace her gifts.”

Byleth would not hear another word of this, she was confused, offended, and had the worst headache of her life. Shoving herself out of Rhea's lap she quickly made her way out of the archbishop's room.

She inhaled sharply as the iron doors made a loud clunk behind her. The noise only worsened her headache. Not helping the situation were the noises of footsteps and chatter echoing through the corridors.

The world did not make sense to her at this moment, everything was fuzzy and distant but everything was more intense; the sensations conflicted with one another and yet somehow coexisted within her. 

The brightness of the room, the noise, even just moving made her feel sick. It was all too overwhelming.

______

The first person she went to was Seteth. He had many questions but they were placed on hold in favor of caring for her while she was in a state of both physical and emotional distress. 

Once her head had stopped throbbing and she could have a conversation Seteth fetched her a cup of tea and listened to her explain what had happened in the battle, her experience in the void excluding the Sothis part, and what Rhea had said to her.

He had looked frustrated after she finished explaining what Rhea had said but did not comment on it. Instead he asked if she was aware of her transformation, she was confused and seeing her reflection in the mirror only confused her more.

She could only stare in shock, she felt wrong. Her eyes were wrong, her hair was wrong, she was wrong. This wasn’t her, she felt like someone else was wearing her face. Then her mind began to race. If her eyes and hair were different what else had changed?

______

It did not take long before Rhea had a new mission for her.

“I will accompany you to the holy tomb, there you will receive a revelation from the goddess.” 

“How do you know I’ll receive a revelation?”

“The goddess has blessed you. Your return from the void and transformation is proof of that. She has planned something for you, you will learn of it in the holy tomb.”

“If she wanted me to do something, why not tell me when she changed me? Why can’t she talk to me when she wants to? Why do I have to go to a specific place?”

“ Only the goddess knows the answers to your questions. I am sure she will answer them in the holy tomb.” 

“Do I have a choice in this matter?”

“..Yes, of course you do.”

“Then I would rather not go to the holy tomb.” 

“...Very well. Though I urge you to not let your feelings cloud your choices.”

She dipped her head and left, Rheas parting sentence having made her dislike of the woman grow stronger.

Later when she told her father of the mission he supported her in her decision as did Seteth though less vocally. 

_____

The school year wrapped up shortly, but the break did not cause a lapse in work at the monastery. 

The knights newest recruits used the training grounds constantly and Byleth was now assisting them with their training, she also had to maintain their weapons.

Seteth still had as much paperwork as ever but now that Byleth had slightly less work she could assist him more. When new papers came in they would be placed in one of two piles, ones she could do and ones only seteth could complete. 

She enjoyed spending time with him and he was less stressed with her around. When there was a rare break in his work sometimes the two would go fishing. 

Byleth spent most nights with Seteth, they would spend the time before bed reading together or talking with each other. When Seteth had completed a new story he would sometimes read it to her, she loved the way he narrated his fables there was always so much emotion in them.

Eventually the couple decided it was time to tell Flayn of their relationship, it had gone unexpectedly.

“Flayn, we have something to discuss with you.” 

“What ever could it be, brother?”

Byleth had been nervous about this conversation. Before when she believed Flayn and Seteth to be siblings it would have been less stressful but now she knew the truth and she was scared that this could injure her and Flayns friendship. 

She was scared Flayn would think she was trying to replace her mother.

“Me and Seteth are in a relationship.” She braced herself for Flayns reaction as she signed.

“Oh.” Flayn frowned, which caused her blood to chill.

“Does this upset you?” Seteth asked 

“What upsets me is that the two of you believe I so oblivious!”

“You were already aware?” 

“Yes. As a matter of fact I have known for quite awhile.”

“I guess I can never hide anything from you.” Seteth chuckled.

“You are alright with us?” Byleth asked to Flayns amusement 

“Yes of course I am. I am glad you and my brother are happy.”

______

Good things did not last for long though as soon an ambush was launched on garreg mach. The battle was quick, or at least it was for Byleth. The earth swallowed her into a chasm and buried her beneath the rubble.

But she did not stay there.

_______

He had made his way into the ravine, behind him his horse dragged a sled to carry her body with. During the search he had found many bodies, faces crushed beyond recognition, bodies deformed by rocks, limbs torn apart. Soon one of those bodies would be hers.

Of course he did not come here alone Alois assisted him; the normally jolly man was somber; he carried the bodies uncovered back to the entrance of the ravine so that they could have a proper burial in the form of a funeral pyre.

Finally he found a mound of rubble in the middle of a stream, a hand stuck out from it. He began removing the rocks, then he saw her green hair. His hands shook as he continued, he had seen mangled bodies but how could he see his own daughter distorted so much. 

When he was finished she looked angelic compared to the other bodies, as if she was still alive, it was because she was alive. 

Jeralt and Alois rushed her to the nearest village where a young man tended to her injuries but he was no healer; he simply had the most knowledge there.

“Captain all the healers hav-”

“I know… We’ll just have to take her to Faerghus.”