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Zooming along the highway in his fancy new car, Adachi's hair rippled back, as the cabbage's leaves flew back slightly too. It was a fine day. Adachi's boss was meeting some nephew of his, so Adachi had taken this opportunity to go out with his new girlfriend (or boyfriend....he wasnt really sure). He looked over at the cabbage. A crude smiley face had been drawn on, and Adachi had added a blonde wig to it, and even lipstick because it was their date night. He still wasnt sure on names for her/him/it though.
It had all started one evening when Adachi was staggering his way back from the pub, down numerous back alleys in Inaba. Maybe slightly drunk, he stumbled over a particularly large rock -or what he thought to be a rock. In the light of a nearby streetlamp, Adachi couldnt stop gazing at the cabbage. It really was love at first sight. A dirty label was stuck on the back of the cabbage, it read 'Shirley'. Adachi didnt know if this was its name, but he didnt care. Immediately, he took the cabbage home and spent a romantic evening with it, sharing a bottle of wine.
Ever since that night (about a week ago) Adachi couldn't stop thinking about the cabbage, at work, at home, in Junes, whilst driving, in the bath,... he was crazy for this cabbage. He glanced over at it every so often as he was driving...its beautiful blonde wig, its beautiful eyes... the way it gazed out the window... 'ah, now this is true love' Adachi thought to himself as he drove along, so happy he had finally got a girlfriend...or whatever gender a cabbage is.
As he was parking up outside the restaurant, he was still trying to think of the perfect name for his cabbage. Well what can you name a cabbage? 'It just needs to...to fit with her personality...' he thought, 'I could name it Shirley...that was its label, but...it just needs to fit...' He looked over at the blonde cabbage, which had just rolled over onto its face, and at the sight of his beautiful girlfriend/boyfriend/cabbage he forgot all about names. It was date time. Gently, he picked up the cabbage, gave it a quick kiss on the forehead, before turning and heading into the restaurant, the cabbage in his arm.