Archive of Our Own

When Miko first moved into the building, she was quite content. Looking for a home in a new city had proven a difficult search, but the apartment she had finally found was cozy enough to make it into a place of her own. There was enough space to not feel cramped, the facilities were nice enough and the building itself was in a pretty mobile location in town. Though of course, like with everything good in life, there unfortunately always had to be one drawback, minor or otherwise. And for Miko, this came in the form of her neighbour upstairs.

Whoever it was that occupied the apartment above her was slowly burning away at Miko’s fuse. Truth be told, in the few months she had lived there, Miko still hadn’t seen the person’s face, but in her anger she had fantasised many times about punching it all the same. Seriously, how rude was it to not greet your new neighbour who had just moved in at least once in your life? Even a quick note slid under the door would do. Miko couldn’t believe their audacity, nor could she believe her luck (or lack thereof) to have had the misfortune of being placed in the apartment underneath theirs.

At first, she really had tried to give the anonymous neighbour some slack. After all, during the day, they never posed a problem. For as long as the sun was up, there was always complete radio silence from up there, to the point that when Miko first moved in she was unsure if anyone even lived upstairs at all. With nightfall came a different story though. Apparently, this person was nocturnal, a fact Miko had to deduct from the sheer amount of incidents that occurred during the night, all of which only made her irritation grow.

Heavy footsteps were the first indication that the apartment occupant had started to move about. These alone were of course something Miko could sweep under the rug— it wasn’t like she could ban her neighbour from walking— but unfortunately it was only the calm before the storm. Then comes the music, playing miles too loud based on the fact that Miko can hear it from her bedroom while she’s trying to sleep. Throw in the occasional sounds of thudding and pottering about, and Miko really starts to lose her temper. Don’t even get her started on the time that some food delivery the neighbour had ordered at some stupid time had gotten her out of bed in the dead of night after the driver had accidentally rung her doorbell instead.

God, Miko’s blood boiled just thinking about it all. There were really no redeeming qualities about the person, she had already decided. She had also already decided just exactly the type of person it was up there, even if she hadn’t even met them yet. Definitely a man. Older than her by a lot. Unemployed, judging by the fact she had never seen him come in or out the place. Probably one of those types to sit at his desk all day, talking his life away on those niche internet chatrooms by day and gaming by night. 

She hated his guts, and there was only so much more she could take before the remnants of her patience finally dwindled away. The last straw came one morning at three o’clock, when Miko was startled awake by a loud crashing sound from the apartment upstairs. Sleep had been hard to come that night, even after an exhausting day at work, and so having it disrupted by something so pathetic was what finally pushed her over the edge. She had all the incentive she needed to put some action behind her bitter thoughts.

Scrambling out of bed, the exhaustion from before seemed to leave her body to make room for all the anger and viciousness the upcoming confrontation needed. Miko wasted no time in slipping on a coat over her pyjamas, wiping the bleariness of sleep from her eyes before kicking on her shoes by the door and leaving her own apartment to march up the stairs to the next one for the first time ever. There were no second thoughts to her rash actions before she found herself knocking loudly on the front door.

A few moments passed in silence, broken only by the sound of Miko tapping her foot impatiently while she waited for a response. Some more seconds passed, in which she took the time to look around the front porch and noticed a distinct lack of personalisation to it, but the sound of the door creaking open had her head snapping back to face in front of her, mouth opening to give a real piece of her mind.

But when her eyes actually landed on the person who had opened the door for the first time, no words came out. She was nothing like the guy Miko had been picturing living there this whole time. No, standing before her was another woman, around her own age, with an expression that was largely blank if not a little curious as to why someone else was knocking on her door at three in the morning. She had long purple hair, noticeably slightly unkempt, and wore a faded grey hoodie, oversized to the point that it hung down to her knees. If Miko wasn’t so torn right now, she would have admired how cute the tired looking girl was.

“Hello.”

The girl had spoken first, which meant that Miko’s plans of launching all her complaints at once had already been derailed. Those plans felt irrelevant now though, as she listened to the deepness, almost hollowness, of the voice, trying to pick it apart in her mind. Not that she could focus on that for long either, because she had to speak too.

“Hi. I’m your neighbour downstairs, Yae Miko,” Miko quickly explained, and then began to lie through her teeth. “I heard a loud noise from up here, and came to check that you’re alright.”

In her defence, it was only half a lie. She had heard a loud noise… only the original intention was to rub more salt into the wound than good will.

“Oh. Thank you. Don’t worry, I just dropped a plate and it smashed.” She paused for a moment before suddenly remembering something. “My name is Ei, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. I’m glad you’re okay,” Miko responded. She realised that now, after just a short exchange of words, she had no more reason to be there anymore, but there was something clawing at her, making her want to stay. “Do you need help cleaning it up?”

“I think I will be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

Miko told herself that she was only pushing this much because this was her one and only chance to pry into her neighbour’s— Ei’s— life, before she had no more excuses. Definitely not for any other ulterior motives that had suddenly sprung up in the last few moments, and absolutely not because she was actually concerned.

Before Ei responded, Miko watched her face contort a little, seemingly having her own internal debate over what to say back.

“Uh, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“None at all.” Miko politely smiled as if she hadn’t been in a rage earlier. Things change!

With a step to the side, Ei opened the door wider and gestured for Miko to enter.

“You can take your shoes off if you want,” Ei said, turning around once she had closed the door back up and Miko was standing in the hallway. “I dropped the plate in the kitchen which is just-”

“In there?” Miko finished, pointing to one of the half open doors at the end of the hall. Just from standing there, she could tell the apartment was built with the exact same layout as her own.

“Yes.” Ei nodded. “I will get the broom.”

She turned around in the direction of the utility cupboard, leaving Miko to make her way to the kitchen. Though, with the knowledge of the apartment’s layout, Miko knew just what door to peek into as she walked there; the bedroom. Luckily, that door was half open too, but the room was shrouded in darkness. The main light in there was turned off, with just the screen of a computer paused on a videogame menu dimly illuminating the room. From the quick glance Miko was able to get, she wanted to say that the bed was unmade and there was all types of clutter around, but it was too difficult to distinguish the silhouettes of mess from the shadows of nighttime in such a small window of opportunity.

Stepping into the kitchen seemed to support the idea of a messy bedroom, because in here it didn't fare much better. Just as Ei had warned, the shattered remains of a plate were strewn across the entire floor, and the brown paper bags of takeout deliveries were slowly starting to overflow from the lid of the trash can. The faint humming of the microwave at work was the only sound in the room seeing as the hands of the clock on the wall had stopped moving, but it was soon overtaken by Ei’s voice as she made her return.

“About the broom…” Ei announced, entering behind Miko. “I have this brush, but not a dustpan.”

“That’ll do. Here, I’ll help group it up to brush into the corner.”

And that was how Miko ended up spending her three fifteen in the morning carefully kicking shards of ceramic plate in the trail of her upstairs neighbour to sweep up. If you had told her she would be doing that a week ago, she would have laughed. But now here she was, staring at Ei’s hunched over form as she gradually pushed the remains of the plate away.

Curiosity was still swirling around inside of Miko, however.

“So, how long have you lived here for?” She asked, just as most of the mess was all grouped up in a small pile against the wall, out of the way.

“Me? About…” Ei hummed in thought as she pulled herself back up, brushing herself off. “…A year and a half?”

“Oh, so not too much longer than me, then.”

“Nope. I don’t think anyone else moved in or out of this building between you and me, actually. But I wouldn’t know, I don’t really speak to any of the others.”

Before Miko could respond, the microwave interrupted the conversation with its beeping running through the air. Ei startled at the sound, as if she had forgotten that anything was even cooking before Miko had knocked. Quickly, she picked herself up and scrambled around to the other side of the counter, opening the microwave door and pulling out the dish inside. Meanwhile, Miko only watched, internally applauding her for not immediately flinching away at the heat.

When her eyes landed on the micro pizza Ei had procured though, it was an entirely different story.

“Are you sure that’s cooked?” Miko asked with a raised eyebrow.

It certainly didn’t look it, what with some unmelted pieces of cheese layered over the top and dough that looked pasty white at best.

“I put it in for as long as the box said to,” Ei replied, looking down at the dish and cringing slightly. “But maybe you are right. I am an awful cook.”

“No, no. It looks almost done,” Miko reassured. “Let’s just stick it in for a few more minutes. I doubt you would get food poisoning from this, but it would be awful to bite into something that’s cold in the middle, hm?”

“Yes, I would rather not have a tundra in my mouth.” Ei agreed, sliding the dish back into the microwave door and adding on a couple of extra minutes.

Miko laughed at what she presumed was a joke, feeling slightly more optimistic if the ice had been broken enough for Ei to make one at all, despite her serious demeanour. From the few minutes they had spent talking, the impression Miko had got of Ei was a brooding one; she felt like somebody who was quite upfront and honest, but also an introvert. The conversation from before flashed into Miko’s mind as she thought.

“So, you were saying you don’t really speak to the others in the building?”

“No, you are the first. I am not really good at talking to other people. Social cues, I just… well, you can probably tell.” Ei’s ears twinged red. “I thought it best to just not bother anyone at all.”

If there was any way to make Miko feel guilty for every single thing she had ever thought before, it was that.

“I think you’re fine,” she spoke sympathetically, ignoring the fact that she had been holding this against her for so long.

“Thank you, Miko. Before, I-“

Again, the microwave cut through the conversation. Much to Miko’s dismay, Ei turned all her attention back to her food rather than finishing what she was saying. She pulled the pizza out a second time, and this time it actually did look good. Miko was almost jealous as Ei cut it into slices.

“Want some?” She asked, dropping the pieces onto a new plate.

“I’m alright, thanks. Too tired to eat.”

Ei looked confused for a second before suddenly coming to realisation. “Oh, yes. It is very early. Go to bed.”

“I could tell you the same thing.” Miko didn’t miss a beat.

“In a few hours. I hope this is as good as the place I normally get it from,” Ei said, and then took a sudden bite. “Hot, hot, hot!” A pause to swallow. “But good. Definitely not cold in the middle.”

Miko chuckled at Ei’s antics. “Why did you decide to cook it tonight anyway, if you normally order it in?”

“Oh, because of what happened the other night.” From Miko’s blank expression, Ei continued. “You know, when they knocked your door instead of mine. At least, I assume it was your door. I don’t know, the delivery guy just told me when he was getting it out for me that he accidentally rung the place below me instead. I felt awful, having woken you up. So I decided this way eliminates that risk again. Well… until I dropped the plate.”

The guilt that was swimming in Miko’s stomach reached its peak at that point. She remembered that night, how mad she had been, cursing her neighbour under her breath as she drifted back off to sleep. But now, seeing Ei for the actual person she was—antsy, a little bit awkward, but with a good heart that was obvious from the first meeting— Miko just felt awful .

“That was really no trouble. Honestly, it's their fault, not yours. If you want to order pizza again, don’t let that stop you, okay? I doubt it will happen twice.”

“Okay.” Ei nodded, nibbling on the crust of the first slice she had eaten.

Gazing between the ventilating microwave, the pizza on the counter and the shattered pile of plate in the corner, Miko couldn’t come up with anything else to say. The conversation from before, when they were interrupted again, flashed into her mind, but she figured it was too late for that now. Now it really was time to leave.

“I suppose I’ll get going then.”

“I’ll see you out.”

Ei dropped the second slice back onto her plate and followed Miko back through the apartment, shuffling past her only to unlock the front door. With one last quick gaze around the place, Miko felt pangs of concern, guilt and curiosity ricochet off of one another inside of her. Just by being there she was able to discern a lot about Ei. From the untidiness of the place, to the broken facilities, right down to the fact that Ei was spending her night cooking dinner for herself instead of sleeping, Miko had finally realised that perhaps there was something not quite right.

“Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to,” Miko said as she stepped back out, “you know where I live now, alright?”

“Alright. Thank you, Miko. That goes for helping me just now, too.”

“No problem at all. Goodnight, Ei.”

“‘Night.”

As Miko began to walk to the stairs back down again, she heard the door close once more behind her, the sound of the lock clicking into place shortly following. The tiredness returned swiftly to her as entered back into her own apartment, but as she drifted back off to sleep, she had high hopes that Ei would take up her offer.

—

This had to have been the blandest instalment of the book Miko had read yet. Her hands ached holding the pages open, her eyes dry from staring down at the block of text, and yet she wasn’t even deriving any pleasure from the activity. Most people called her lucky when they found out that a large part of Miko’s job was just reading stories other people had written, but if there was one downside to being in the publishing industry it was the fact that she had to force herself through every single last word she was given. Including the most plain and boring passages she had ever read in her life.

Only just having made it halfway through the transcript she was currently checking over, Miko sighed with exasperation. At this rate, she was practically begging the gods to come and save her. There were still forty more pages to go, and yet all Miko yearned for was a distraction; a good enough excuse to procrastinate this for just a little longer without the blame actually falling onto her shoulders.

Perhaps the gods were actually listening to her that day, because as she folded over the paper to the next page, three sharp knocks at her door effortlessly stole her attention. Though confused, Miko wasted no time in discarding the stapled sheets onto the coffee table and hauling herself up from her sofa to answer whoever was out there. Honestly, she was ready to do anything they wanted just for snatching her work away from her.

Eagerly swinging open the door, Miko was surprised to see Ei standing there.

That wasn’t to say that Miko was disappointed. On the contrary, she had actually been hoping that Ei would take up her offer of coming to talk since she went back home that night. But, at the same time, three days had passed with no more contact, so Miko had assumed that that interaction was the last as well as the first for them both.

Not to mention it was broad daylight, and up until now Ei had been operating her sleep schedule like a vampire.

“Hello Miko.”

“Ei! How are you?”

“I am good. I came because I would like to ask for your help with something again.”

“Oh, what is it?”

“Do you drive a car?”

Again, Miko was surprised. She had been thinking that maybe she was trying to cook something more ambitious, or maybe she wanted the hands on her clock fixed, or literally anything to do with staying inside. Needing a car meant travelling, and it wasn’t like Miko had ever seen Ei leave. At least, not during the day.

“I do. Why?”

“Can you take me to see my sister?” Ei asked, and then suddenly held up a fist of crumpled bills that Miko didn’t realise she was holding before. “I have these to pay for petrol. I would usually take the bus, but the next one is in an hour. And I don’t really like the bus, there are too many people. And I can’t drive, so-“

“Relax.” Miko laughed, and Ei’s nerves dissipated with the sound. “Yes, I’ll take you. Whereabouts does she live?”

“The cemetery.”

“Around that area?”

“She is dead.”

“ Oh .”

There was absolutely nothing else that came to mind to respond to that with, and Miko was the type of person to never get lost for words. Regardless, Ei didn’t seem phased. If anything, she looked happy that Miko hadn’t rejected her request. Not that Miko could have even said no after hearing that.

Seeing as Ei was ready already, it only took a few minutes for Miko to get ready herself before they both headed down the stairs and out to the car. Twisting the key into the ignition and driving away, Miko struggled to pinpoint the atmosphere in the vehicle as they both sat in silence. If this were anyone else, all she would feel was awkwardness in overwhelming amounts, but Ei was surprisingly… calm? Then again, if this were anyone else, Miko knew she would probably still be sitting in her apartment, a few more pages deep in that transcript.

Every so often, she allowed her eyes to glance off of the road momentarily. Miko stole glances at Ei through the rear-view and wind mirrors, trying to balance driving with reading her expression. It was when she returned her gaze back to the road that she noticed a slight drizzle of rain beginning to spatter the windscreen, and she drummed her fingers against the steering wheel with frustration.

“That’s no good,” she lamented.

Ei shook her head, staring out the front window before her eyes travelled down to the dashboard.

“I will put your payment in the glove compartment,” she announced.

“It’s alright,” Miko responded. “I don’t need to be paid. There might be an umbrella in there though, if you want to check.”

The rain seemed to be getting worse with each passing second, and Miko didn’t like the thought of Ei getting drenched out next to her sister’s headstone. At the suggestion, Ei leaned forward and clicked the small cubby open, digging around inside before pulling out the umbrella in question. She paused for a moment before retrieving a second item.

“You have Pocky in here.”

“Yeah, I must have got it last week. You can have some if you want.”

“Thank you.” Ei accepted without hesitation, unwrapping the leftovers. “Pocky is one of my favourites.”

“You can have all of it.”

“Really?”

Miko hums. “I actually forgot they were there, and I only grabbed them because of a bad sweet tooth on the way home from work once. Better not let them go to waste, hm?”

“Thank you.” Ei repeated, the rustling of the packaging foil getting louder. “I always have a sweet tooth.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. Is that surprising?”

“Not at all, actually.” Miko smiled to herself, not finding it hard to imagine. She hoped Ei wasn’t watching her in the mirrors too, fixing her gaze back on the road ahead to avoid it. There, she noticed a florist’s shop along the high street as they drove by. “Did you want to get some flowers?”

“No. She will be fine with just a chat. Hm…” Ei twirled a stick of Pocky between her fingers. “Maybe I should save the last piece of Pocky for her.”

“Whatever makes her happy.”

The rest of the car ride went on in silence. Although Miko still couldn’t pin the atmosphere, she knew for sure this time that it definitely wasn’t awkward. Now that they had talked, she definitely felt more calm, her apprehension gone along with her uncertainty. It no longer felt like they were driving to a graveyard at all anymore, the casualness of the conversation more akin to a road trip or going to get groceries.

After a few more minutes, the spires of the cemetery came into view overhead. Miko pulled to a stop as they eventually drove through the gates, the gravel of the parking lot crunching beneath her tires as she slowed the car. Rain still poured down, smashing loudly against the roof and windows of the vehicle now the engine wasn’t on to muffle the sound anymore. Dark clouds still swirled above, indicating no signs of the weather passing.

Concerned at the sight, Miko looked away from the pitch black sky and to Ei instead, who was staring out of the passenger window. Rather than fretting over the storm though, Ei’s eyes travelled in the direction over the iron fence and towards the sea of headstones. For the first time, there appeared to be a sense of hesitance about her, as if she had been building herself up for too long.

“Are you okay?” Miko spoke more gently than she had intended to.

“I– Yes.” Ei quickly nodded, snapping out of her daze. “I will go down there now. Please wait here until I come back, I won’t be too long.”

“No worries, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you.”

Strong gusts of wind blew inside the car as Ei opened the door, icily knifing through the thin sweater Miko was wearing. She dreaded to think how Ei was going to stand out there for any longer than five minutes. Even if she did have the umbrella with her, it was clear that she was going to return dripping wet, and probably freezing cold. Miko knew better to voice her concerns though, not with the determination in Ei’s eyes. And so Ei soldiered on without another word, beginning her walk down the mud trail into the cemetery yard.

Miko didn’t take her eyes off of Ei for a second, even as her figure got smaller and smaller the further she went. She wondered if she was borderlining creepiness by watching from afar like this, but she just couldn’t take her gaze away. Just in case Ei needed her. Finally, right before she disappeared from view, Ei came to a halt in front of one of the headstones, kneeling down next to it. This distance paired with the constant outpour of the rain made it difficult to decipher what exactly Ei was doing, but Miko didn’t exert more effort than it was worth. As long as she could still see Ei, it was fine.

Though her mind did wander. Was Ei’s mouth moving? Was she one of the types to speak out loud to a dead relative, or did she like to just visit as an act of remembrance and nothing more? No answers came for certain from in the car, but she still kept pondering it to herself. Sheer curiosity had her wondering about all sorts of things. How long had Ei’s sister been gone for? How did she even die? Although they were questions she knew she could never ask, they still grimly clawed at her.

Perhaps today was a special day, and that was why Ei wanted to so suddenly come down here after never having shown her face in the daylight before. Hell, Miko didn’t even know Ei had had a sister, but then again she did suppose that they hadn’t talked that much yet to know. Were there anymore siblings in the family? Was Ei younger or older than her sister? Were they close?

She might not have been able to answer the first two, but she guessed the last one was a definite yes.

For some reason, Miko felt her own heart grow heavier the longer she sat there. Maybe it was the weather, or the fact that she was quite literally surrounded by the resting places of hundreds of people, but she couldn’t help but feel a wave of melancholy of her own. Pity for Ei, she decided to pin it on. Not the possibility that she might actually be mourning the death of a woman she never actually got to meet; the sister of a woman she knew next to nothing about already. 

Time seemed to pass in both a blur and a drag. Miko didn’t resort to checking her phone while she waited, merely staring out the front window until she was focusing on space rather than Ei’s perched form. In a daze, her head nodded down towards the steering wheel, the somber situation mulling over her brain as she simply thought of everything at once, but also nothing at all.

Only a loud rumble of thunder overhead jolted her from her daydream, followed instantly by a white flash of lightning. Somehow, the rain grew even heavier with it all. Miko straightened herself up, rolling her back against the chair and checking again on Ei. It was then that Miko spotted her beginning to rise to her feet, making a slow trek back to the car despite the storm worsening.

As Ei opened the car door back up, Miko turned the key back in the ignition. Shaking the rain off the umbrella and rolling it back up, Ei slid back into the passenger seat wordlessly, allowing for Miko to examine her face. It was hard to tell, what with her skin damp from the rain and her hair dripping down her still, but it didn’t look like Ei had been crying down there. At least, her face wasn’t blotchy.

Though, she didn’t look as unphased as before. Her brow was furrowed a little deeper than normal, her posture more tense. Miko felt that ache in her heart again, but this time she knew it was pity for Ei.

“I’m sorry. This must be really hard for you,” Miko spoke in a voice so soft it was almost drowned out by another boom of thunder that followed right after it.

“It’s fine. She has been gone for a while now. I am over it. Mostly.”

Miko could tell it was a blatant lie, but she knew better than to pursue it. There was a time and a place, which wasn’t here or now.

“It’s just a shame it had to thunder like this.”

“Nope.” Ei shook her head. “Makoto loved the thunder.”

Makoto. So that was her name.

More importantly though, as Miko looked through the mirror again while pulling the car back out, she noticed something she had never seen before on Ei’s face.

A real smile.

—

When they arrived back home that day, Miko had walked Ei up to her apartment before parting ways to head back down to her own. Before saying goodbye, however, she had taken Ei’s phone from her hands and added her number to the contacts app.

“If you ever need help with anything else, just text, okay?” She had explained. “I’ll get back as soon as possible.”

Since then, she had been receiving texts everyday, but not in the way that she was expecting. Rather than Miko having to run up and down the stairs to run errands every time she got a notification, Ei had instead taken to spamming her with various memes and messages. Almost always her phone was buzzing and lighting up with something new, and ninety percent of the time it was something random from Ei.

That wasn’t to say it annoyed Miko at all though. Although she couldn’t be on her phone nearly as much as Ei, she still found their conversations to be the highlight of her day. Having someone to talk to near enough constantly was just a comforting thought, she supposed. They had definitely grown close. From all the conversations they had been having, Miko felt like she actually knew about Ei as a person now— who she was beyond that noisy neighbour who also has a dead sister. Things weren’t awkward anymore. Ei spoke with much more ease, and Miko didn’t feel like their relationship was on the basis of volunteering favours anymore. No, she was sure they were friends.

…More than friends? It would have been a lie to say Miko hadn’t thought about it. There was no denying that she enjoyed Ei’s company. With her around, Miko didn’t feel completely consumed by boredom with life anymore. But every time Miko found herself down this train of thought, she would pull her head out the gutter and think about something else. Well, try to, anyway.

Another good thing about Ei’s constant stream of texts was that Miko was able to monitor her schedule through the timestamps of the messages. She silently celebrated as the four a.m. texts slowly dissipated, even more so when Ei was starting to become more active during the day than in the night. This change even became apparent in real life too, Miko often overhearing noises coming from upstairs in daytime hours rather than nighttime.

She couldn’t help but feel glad about it. Since Ei was beginning to flip her schedule, it meant she was spending more of her days awake and nights asleep. In turn, it had become easier for the pair of them to actually hang out together, and spend real quality time with each other where they were doing something genuinely enjoyable. 

When she wasn’t working or busy, Miko was more often than not up in Ei’s apartment. After all, it cost her nothing in petrol to get there, she knew where everything was already and if she needed something all she had to do was run downstairs and grab it. It was almost like they lived in the same house.

Getting to frequent Ei’s apartment also meant that she could actually explore this place without looking like… well, a creep. She had found that most of her assumptions on the first night she visited were correct. Every room that wasn’t used was simply unfurnished and left bare, while the rooms that were used were a mess. Things that were broken hadn’t been fixed, and items that had been used were almost all yet to be replaced. 

The bedroom was perhaps the worst for it. Near enough always the room was shrouded in a bit of darkness because the drawstring on the blinds had broken, leaving them permanently half down. All the floor space was taken by Ei’s desk, on which sat her PC, a cabinet for her consoles, her dresser and her bed, and the parts you could actually walk through were almost completely covered in laundry and litter to the point you could barely see the carpet. Every bare surface had something on it, whether it was a dirty plate, a soda can, a game case; there was hardly any room for anything. At the very least, Ei had tried to convert the room into more of an organised chaos now she actually had visitors, but it was still in a bad state.

And yet, the bedroom was also where Miko currently was, laying atop Ei’s bed, console controller in hand. Today, Ei had insisted on trying to get Miko into playing one of the games she loved so much. One thing Miko had learnt (and also presumed correctly, to her pride) about Ei was that she was very big on gaming. So, even if it wasn’t really her thing, she had happily obliged when she was asked to try it out just this once. She watched as Ei fiddled with the wires connected to the TV that hung on the wall, hunched over to try and switch the monitor’s video output from the television broadcasting channels to the gaming display.

“Done.” Ei stood back up, brushing the dust off her hands, and as she did so the TV screen suddenly switched itself on, bathing the room in a deep blue light as the console switched itself on. “Okay, let me check if the disc is still in… it is. Good.”

Wasting no more time, Ei dived straight back to the bed, nestling herself comfortably next to Miko. She leaned over to her bedside table and grabbed her own controller, running through the menus before pressing the play button to start the game. Dramatic music began to blare from the TV speakers as the loading screen came into view, and suddenly Miko understood why she would always hear the same sort of songs playing while she was trying to sleep before.

“Oh. Did I really have it that loud?” Ei frowned and dug her hands under the bedsheets, pulling out the remote to turn the main volume down.

“Thank god, my ears were about to fall off.” Miko joked, but quickly followed up off Ei’s concerned look. “Sarcasm, dear.”

“Oh. Yes.” Ei smiled as she got the joke, and the turned her attention back to the screen. “Hm, maybe I should put you on tutorial mode first.”

“That would probably help.”

With a nod, Ei selected the game’s tutorial, spawning Miko’s character into a bare lobby. A series of prompts began to fill up the screen, instructing her on how to play the game. The first few were easy enough; how to walk, run, jump, look around. Gradually, they got harder; how to shoot, how to block, how to switch between different attacks. Paired with the different signals that the game needed Miko to recognise, she was beginning to find the tutorial embarrassingly complicated.

Finally, all that was left to do was for her to have her avatar shoot one more target before she was allowed to advance to an actual match with real players. The only problem was that the target was moving, and also shooting at her while it did. Miko furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, trying her best to hit it on the bullseye, but her hands and eyes just didn’t want to cooperate. Not after the second, third or fourth tries, either. When the screen faded to blood red to indicate her character’s death for a fifth time, she was finally starting to get frustrated.

“Here.” Ei suddenly spoke up, and in her concentration Miko had forgotten she was even watching.

In a swift movement, Ei brought her hands to rest over Miko’s. Immediately, she felt her grip loosen around the controller, as if her own hands were melting into Ei’s hold instead. This didn’t seem to phase Ei, who simply held onto the controller a little tighter to stop it from slipping - and so, squeezing Miko’s hands by default. Despite this, her touch was surprisingly delicate, and Miko hated the heat that rose to her cheeks.

She risked a glance to the side, only to find that Ei’s eyes were fully concentrated on the screen instead. The knife that slashed at her heart chopped the wings off the butterflies swirling in her stomach instead.

“This button to auto lock on a target.” Ei pushed Miko’s finger down to rest on one of the buttons. “And then you want to be quick about it.”

She dragged Miko’s thumb across the analog stick with her own, and in one simple try Ei had knocked out the stage that Miko had been struggling on.

“You made that look so easy.” Miko laughed. Part of her couldn’t believe she was sitting here, allowing herself to be schooled on gaming technique. But it was the sound of Ei’s voice, the sensation of her hands against hers…

“Well, there is a difference between ten minutes of gameplay compared to a few hundred hours.” Ei stated, and then seemed to realise something. “Uh…”

Confused, Miko followed Ei’s eyes again. This time, they were in a gaze away from the screen, staring down at their still intertwined hands. It was as if she hadn’t even noticed what she had done in the first place. Looking back up at Ei, Miko was relieved to see the blush beginning to spread all over her face.

“You know,” Miko began, eager to relish the moment for all that it was worth, “I might need help in the actual games too. If you wouldn’t mind.”

That was how the pair ended up queuing up for games on single player mode instead, only Miko’s hands were holding onto the controller while Ei’s hands guided her through the actual motions of playing. With their niche little setup, it was surprising to see the amount of successful games they actually had. However, what came as a real shock to Miko was the fact that she found herself really enjoying the game at just its face value, and not just the added bonus of the excuse to sit by Ei like this.

Under the guise of teaching Miko how to play, the two spent another few hours simply jumping between matches, celebrating wins and rejecting losses. In that while, they had managed to scooch even closer together without even realising it, and the feeling of holding the same controller simply became a matter of second nature. Once or twice Miko had to stop Ei from connecting the microphone to yell at some of the other players, which for some reason she found cute in a ridiculous way. Perhaps the biggest highlight for her though was when she had caught Ei staring at her instead of the screen, which had caused an instant death of their shared avatar. That might have lost them the game, but the look on Ei’s face after that was victory enough for Miko.

“My fingers hurt after all of that,” Miko announced as they exited to the main menu for what must have been the hundredth time that day.

“Mine too.” Ei agreed. “It’s been a few hours, let’s call it a day.”

Miko hummed. “Alright.”

“Thank you for playing it with me.”

Again, that expression was on Ei’s face. The nervous one, where her cheeks flushed hot and her eyes didn’t quite know where to look. Miko felt warm at the sight of it.

“No need to thank me. I had fun.”

“I’m glad.”

Although she wanted to stay in this odd, half cuddling position with Ei for a little longer, Miko couldn’t ignore how much her body ached after laying still for so long. Reluctantly, she detached herself from Ei’s side, rising to her feet and exercising the tension out of her muscles in one large stretch.

Outside, the sun had started to set behind the city skyline, beginning to cast the room in dark shadows. Still standing up, Miko took the initiative to wade through the sea of dumped laundry and flicker on the light. Everything came back into clear view once more, but it was in this position of leaning over the dresser to reach the light switch that Miko noticed something buried in the mess on top of it that she hadn’t seen before.

The corner of a photo frame was sticking out from underneath a scattering of graphic novels. Miko wouldn’t have even noticed it if she hadn’t turned on the light, the reflection of the bulb having created a glare that had caught her eye, but now her curiosity had piqued. Not wanting to dig through Ei’s things, she squinted down at the tiny fraction of the photograph she could see, trying to make out what it was.

“What are you looking at?” Ei, who had been watching Miko the whole time, approached from behind.

“Uh…” Miko knew there was no way of talking her way out of it, but she still didn’t want to explain.

Ei’s eyes followed where Miko’s had been a few seconds earlier. “Oh. I had wondered where that was.” A long pause. “Do you want to see it?”

“Are you sure?”

As much as she had gotten to know Ei, Miko hadn’t found out much more about her past before she had moved in, much less seen pictures of it all.

“Yes.” Ei nodded. “You have been… you are good to me, Miko. You are allowed to see this. And it’s a shame on me to let it sit here and gather dust for so long…”

Much to Miko’s surprise, Ei pushed the stack of novels off the top and scooped the frame up, throwing herself back onto the bed and beckoning Miko over. When they were both laying back down, she flipped the frame over and began to unfasten the backing. Miko watched as she did so, Ei’s actions some sort of middle ground between careful and careless, until the cardboard backing fell out of place. As it did, so did a pile of photos scatter down across Ei’s lap. Miko didn’t even realise there were a few lodged in the frame, all hidden behind each other.

Ei’s hand hovered over the pile of photos, somewhat hesitant. Miko looked up and down between the pile and Ei’s face, finally opting to offer her support by resting her head onto Ei’s shoulder and wrapping a supportive arm behind her back. This seemed to rejuvenate Ei, as she finally released a deep breath and flipped over the photo on the top of the pile.

Instantly, Miko’s eyes were looking over the image revealed to her, as if Ei might suddenly cover it up again. The picture displayed Ei— a slightly younger version of herself— and she genuinely looked happy. Not that she was smiling, but there was simply a contentedness beaming through the Ei in the photo that had been replaced with a hollowness from the Ei holding the photo. Next to photo-Ei was a taller person, with long, dark hair, giving the camera a lopsided smile. They had a guitar in one hand, and Miko guessed this was taken right before they were about to start playing.

“This is Sasayuri,” Ei said, her voice unreadable. “They were one of my best friends. They always hung around me. We used to play a lot together, and they would always start fighting my battles in voice chat for me.”

“What happened to them?” Miko asked, though instantly questioned her decision as soon as the words left her lips.

“They’re just… not here anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Ei shook her head. There was a smile on her lips, and Miko couldn’t tell if it was forced or if she was just reliving some pleasant memories. Regardless, Ei flipped over the next photo. “Saiguu.”

Now Miko was looking down at an image of Ei next to a white haired woman. Both of their backs were turned, so she couldn’t make much out of Saiguu’s face, but the real subject of the photo was how Saiguu’s hands seemed to be fixated at the top of photo-Ei’s back. Upon further inspection, she noticed how Saiguu was holding what looked like a pen.

“She was a really good artist, and in this picture she was actually giving me my tattoo.” Ei explained.

The symbol tattooed just at the top of Ei’s back flashed into Miko’s mind. She had only seen it a few times in full seeing as most of the time the top of it just liked to peek out over the sweaters Ei usually adorned, but she still found it a pretty little thing nonetheless. Although she still had no idea what it actually symbolised, Miko could now grasp the sentimental value it had, at least.

“Is she…?

“Also not here anymore.” Ei stated coolly, flipping over the third image. “Chiyo.”

This one displayed another girl, who had one arm wrapped around photo-Ei’s shoulders while the other was occupied holding a bottle of alcohol way up into the air. There was a devious smile on her face, but what really stood out to Miko in this one was the background.

“You used to go to parties?”

“Chiyo liked to drag me to them. And then get drunk, so the rest of us had to carry her home.” Ei chuckled quietly, running her finger across the glossy photograph as if touching it would bring back the vibrations of the music in her chest through the party speakers or the feeling of random bodies pressing against her own in the mosh pit.

“She sounds like she was lots of fun to hang around with.”

“She was. I don’t actually know where she is these days. But I’m sure she’s still just as fun.”

“She’s not…?” Miko began, but again stopped herself with regret.

“No, Miko, Chiyo did not become a victim of my trail of death.” Ei replied sardonically, but she still laughed, as if it was her only way to cope with it all. “But, after Sasayuri… she just… wasn’t the same. All of us were shaken up by his death, and me and her had a fight, and then… she disappeared after that. I haven’t heard from her since.”

“I’m so sorry.” Miko replied, and she well and truly meant it.

“Don’t be. I-” Ei paused, lost for words. “It feels good to get it all out. And… I trust you with it.”

At that, Miko pulled Ei closer into her side.

“Do you miss them?”

“Everyday. The four of us actually used to go out and do stuff a lot, before… well, before they were all gone. So now I just have these pictures as remains of them all and what we used to get up to.”

“Ei…”

“Never mind. There is still one more to show you.” Ei straightened up, flipping over the final photo that Miko hadn’t even realised was sitting there.

This one stood out from the others. At first glance, Miko was confused, seeing as there were two Eis printed on the glossy paper, but then she realised exactly who that brightly smiling figure was.

“Makoto?” She asked quietly.

Ei simply nodded in return.

Everything seemed to fall into place. The fact they were so close— they were twins . And just this one picture seemed to capture everything Miko needed to know about the other sister. She exuded positive energy, confidence and grace, and yet there was a gentleness behind her grin, a kindness in her eyes. By all means, she was everything that Ei needed, but in the same way, the image of a more reserved photo-Ei who was giving her own small smile to the camera seemed to perfectly balance out everything Makoto was too.

“This was taken a week before… you know.” Ei couldn’t bring herself to say it, and Miko knew this blast to the past was finally eroding her defences.

She lifted her second arm around Ei’s waist, leaning fully into her as a silent display of her support, her care and her pride.

“You don’t need to go on if you don’t want to.”

“No… no, let me.” Ei said, swallowing deeply and focusing her gaze solely on the photo. “Makoto was… she was like the other half of me. Except, I wasn’t the other half of her. If I were the one to not be here today, she would have been able to continue on without me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“But Miko…” Ei sighed. “I am only telling the truth. Makoto was basically the person who got me through life before. She would talk for me, she took me out to see new places and meet new people, she was the only one who was ever patient with me when I didn’t stand things. I just… I loved her so much, and when she was suddenly gone, well… Look at me, Miko. This is how I live now.”

“Ei.” Miko sat up, bringing her hand underneath Ei’s chin and tilting her head to look her in the eyes. “You are grieving your twin sister. You are allowed to be like this.”

“Makoto wouldn’t have-“

“Makoto would . Maybe she was more sociable than you, and maybe she got along with others more easily, and could do more things without support. But do you want to know what I see when I look at this picture?”

“What?”

“I not only see a vibrant sun, but also a moon. It stands in the shadows, and you can only see it when it’s dark, but it’s there, and it does its part, and it’s you . If Makoto was the flame, then you were the one fanning it, Ei. She loved you, just as much as you loved her, and you helped her just as much as she helped you. Even if you don’t see it. She was a whole, yes. But so were you. So are you. Your two wholes just happened to fit quite nicely together, that’s all. And I know that if she were the one who was here today, then I would probably be having to have this exact same conversation with her, because you meant something to her, Ei. You were just as important to her as she was to you.”

Ei was at a loss as she finished, looking between the photo and Miko’s face.

“Miko, I-“ Words failed her, stuttering from her lips. “It’s appreciated, I didn’t… you…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to speak.” Miko reassured.

“Let me just…” Ei trailed off, dropping the final photo of herself and Makoto back into her lap to pull Miko into an embrace.

It was long, and it was full, and it was warm. No words were exchanged, nor did Miko feel tears on her shoulder as many might have expected, but it was still everything Ei needed in that moment. Miko couldn’t help but feel her heart swell at the contact, like she had done something correctly. As if making Ei feel better was the right thing to strive for in life.

After a while, Ei pulled away, looking back down at the photograph.

“I’m trying. Everyday, I’m trying to honour her. And your words helped me, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you Miko.” Ei breathed, her eyes travelling up to Miko again. “But, despite it all, the day I lost her… I also lost myself.”

Miko’s free hand travelled up, cupping Ei’s face and caressing her thumb gently across her warm cheek.

“Well, guess who found you?”

—

“Just a little more…” Miko watched as Ei poured flour into a mixing bowl. “And stop.”

Right before a ton of excess flour tipped out the bag, Ei quickly put it back down again with a sigh of relief.

“Close one,” she said, and then looked at the contents filling the bowl. “Are you sure that’s enough?”

“Nuh-uh. Don’t forget who’s teaching who here.”

Different ingredients covered almost the entirety of Ei’s kitchen counter. Flour was one of them now that Ei had rested the bag down, but there was also a block of yeast, a bottle of olive oil, and even more containers of food that they were intending to use in their cooking.

Since opening up about Makoto properly that first time, wrapped up in each other’s limbs and filing through old photos, Ei had only gone on to speak about her sister more and more as the days went by. All good things, of course. Happy memories and the types of antics the twins got up to, each spoken as if Makoto wasn’t actually gone. Miko couldn’t help but feel proud of the fact that Ei seemed to finally be making slow peace with the whole situation.

However, this was also how Miko had learnt that Makoto was the one who did essentially all of the cooking while she and Ei lived together. In hindsight, it made all of the takeouts and microwave meals make sense, but Miko wasn’t going to drill on herself for that revelation. Instead, she had decided she was going to help Ei learn how to cook for herself. Not that Miko was anything of a gourmet supremo herself, but she definitely knew a good few dishes, and she supposed the least she could do was help drill in an important life skill, even if it was coming a little late. 

Besides, she didn’t want to rush Ei into doing things she wasn’t ready for yet, and Ei didn’t look too willing to clear out her depression bedroom any time soon, leaving cooking as the only option left. Though she wasn’t angry about it. Honestly, Miko was just glad to see Ei expanding her horizons even by the tiniest margins in the form of cooking each day. Gradually increasing the difficulty of the dishes everyday gave the notion of progress, which was the perfect partner to go with Ei’s own self progress. Not to mention it gave Miko an excuse to hang around even more in Ei’s apartment and have dinner with her practically every night. At this point, they may as well have added each other’s names to their tenancies.

For today’s recipe, they had decided on a pizza, simply because it was easy to make and tasted delicious. When Ei had suggested it, however, Miko’s mind wandered to the night they first met and the entire fiasco of the microwave pizza. A smile flickered her lips at the memory, and she liked to think that Ei was reminiscing that day as well.

She watched Ei closely as she began to knead out the pizza dough, rolling pin in hand to make a base. Before, Miko would have told herself she was just watching this carefully so she was ready to jump in at any moment should Ei go wrong. A lie like that was one that even she couldn’t dress up more presentably, however, leaving her to face the truth of the matter.

Looking at Ei, especially right now, was an invitation to let lightning strike her heart and fizzle around in her stomach afterwards. The feeling was addicting. When she wasn’t with Ei, Miko was thinking about her, and could anyone really blame her? After all, Ei had an effortless beauty about her. For some reason, she was still charming despite her awkward persona and lack of social understanding. Falling so hard for Ei was honestly something of a shock for Miko, but moments like these made it a shock of the best kind.

All those nights and days spent gaming, watching movies, playing board games, simply just talking to each other because they liked one another’s company. It was all like a rosey little montage playing around Miko’s mind. In the short but infinite space of time between their first meeting to now, Miko had come to learn so much about Ei, without Ei even having to tell her directly. It was the little things that really ensnared Miko; Ei’s social media feed that was full of animal pictures, how she always made a point to leave the shampoo bottles upside down in the shower, or how it was absolutely necessary to sleep with the window just one inch open, no more, no less. Each of them were their own separate little traits, but all put together they just created the person that was Ei, and that person was so, so perfect.

Only a few months had passed since that first night, but it felt almost like an eternity if Miko was being truly dramatic. Going from helping Ei heat up a frozen pizza to overwatching her making her own was a change so simple, and yet so drastic. Miko couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact moment she had fallen for Ei along the way, but that didn’t matter.

What did matter was the fact that she had fallen. Ei did make Miko’s heart go crazy like no one else could, and Miko did find herself looking for every excuse in the book to spend her free time with her. Teaching her how to cook, playing games or simply just existing in the same place as each other. Miko relished in Ei’s everything; her determination, her bluntness, her stubborn personality that she could easily crack into moments of exasperation and blushiness with just a bit of teasing.

For someone who had once held so much resentment for the neighbour upstairs, Miko was shocked that Ei had become such an essential part of her world.

So she allowed herself to simply watch Ei as she rolled out the dough into a base. Even at the most basic of actions, there was a smitten look on Miko’s face. One that Ei didn’t notice, thankfully. She stepped in now and then to help Ei spread the sauce and toppings over everything, but for the most part she let Ei take the lead, just so she could stand back like this and enjoy the moment.

In just a few more minutes, the pizza was being slid into the oven. Miko straightened her face and stepped forward, returning to what she hoped was an unreadable expression.

“You should really wear oven gloves,” Miko chastised as Ei closed the oven door, brushing her bare hands.

“For just a few seconds? I will be fine.” Ei shook her head, leaning against the wall and looking over at the countertop, still cluttered with a mess of ingredients. “Better get this cleaned up.”

“I suppose.” Miko sighed. If there was one thing she hated about cooking, it was the tedious act of tidying away that came after it. But… maybe she had a better idea.

Scooping up the bag of flour first, she nestled it underneath her arm and walked around Ei, opening the pantry door behind her. With their backs turned to each other, Ei couldn’t see the mischievous smirk on Miko’s face.

“Could you pass me the olive oil, please?” She asked innocently.

“Here,” Ei said, turning around with an outstretched hand holding the bottle.

In one swift motion, Miko spun around at the same time as Ei. She had gathered a palmful of the flour in her hand, and before Ei had any time to react, she was launching it at her face like a projectile.

The stunned expression that took over Ei’s features was priceless. She blinked twice, gazing up at Miko with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. She hadn’t even bothered to wipe the flour off herself yet, so it still clung to her face like dust.

Miko burst out laughing.

“You should have seen your face!” She could barely contain herself. “Too perfect.”

“What was that for?!”

“I’m sorry, Ei. I saw an opportunity, and I just–”

She couldn’t finish her apology before she was flinching away from a handful of flour thrown in her direction instead. This time, Ei was the one who erupted into laughter as Miko blinked and blew her tongue to get it out of her eyes and mouth.

“Whatever face I made, I think yours was funnier.” Ei had a smug look on her face. It was something Miko took as a challenge.

“Perhaps you caught me off guard, but–”

In another quick move, Miko tightened her hands around the bag of flour. The intention was to throw the whole thing over Ei in one ultimate trick, but now that Ei was expecting it, her reflexes were alarmingly fast. Both of them had clutched onto the flour bag at the same time, holding it with all their strength, practically engaging in a tug of war over it.

“You may beat me when you’re being sly, but I’m quicker than you,” Ei deviously stated. “And stronger.”

“Then why haven’t you taken the flour from my hands yet?” Miko teased. She felt their fingers pressed against each other through the paper bag.

“What, so I can throw the whole thing over you?”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“I can, and I will.”

“Go on then.”

“You asked for this.” Ei shook her head in a mocking pity.

However, as always Miko was thinking ahead. Knowing that Ei would very easily snatch the bag from her hands, she watched carefully for the very second Ei began to tug at it to steal it. As soon as she felt that forceful pull, Miko relinquished her own grip on the bag, causing it to angle towards Ei in direction. Ei barely had time to register the sound of paper ripping before the flour was catapulted at her once more, and although this time it wasn’t at her face, Miko still burst into laughter as she watched the majority of it spill out over her clothes.

“Oh my god.” Miko had to hold her stomach from laughing so much.

Despite there still being some flour left, Ei didn’t bother retaliating this time. In disbelief, she seemed to admit defeat by dropping the pack on the floor, letting the remnants of flour that were left to spill out over the kitchen tiles with the rest of it that had exploded out seconds earlier. 

“I suppose you beat me this time.” She shook her head, though she didn’t actually sound melancholic or upset.

“Of course I did. Brains over brawn, dear. Besides…” An idea flashed into Miko’s mind, an impulse that she quickly carried out. “Who said you were stronger than me?”

In a flash, she took advantage of Ei’s stupor and pulled at her wrist, dragging her towards the wall. As she did so, Miko twisted around so that she was in front of Ei instead, and then raised both her arms to lean against the wall– and effectively made a barrier with her body that Ei couldn’t escape from. It was only when she had done it that she realised exactly what she was doing; pinning Ei against the wall.

Miko would have questioned her own brashness if she didn’t look up to see Ei’s reaction, but the blush that covered her entire face was enough to know that she had won her little gamble with emotions. It was also the indication to her that perhaps Ei actually reciprocated her feelings, if this flustered moment was enough to go by. Miko refused to let it show, but her heart was racing at the position they were in. Yet her mind raced even faster. This was the perfect opportunity to try and find out if that one step further she constantly found herself dreaming about was actually plausible for them and their relationship, and although Miko wasn’t one to put herself and her feelings on the line with such sudden riskiness, she was willing to go all in with Ei.

“Look at you.” Miko smirked. “I got you all trapped and messy in just a few seconds.”

“I-” Ei began, her eyes darting back and forth between Miko’s own and the small gap between them both. “I could still easily break out of here. Or trap you in my arms instead.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because…” A pause. “I like to see you happy, and if this is how then I will allow it.”

There was a softness in Ei’s tone, and her sentiment was enough to knock the cockiness straight out of Miko. The flirtatious smirk dropped from her face, and while her arms stayed locked around Ei, she definitely felt her posture automatically loosen. It was as if Ei knew exactly how to unwind her, even without realising what she was doing.

“Oh, Ei.” Miko couldn’t keep her guard up anymore. “You’re simply too good to me.”

“No I am not. You have helped me, and I enjoy you— your company. I mean, I do enjoy you and your company. So… naturally, it makes me happy to see you happy. And it’s the very least I can do after all you have done for me.”

“Don’t make it sound like you’re indebted to me.”

“I can try, but I also want you to know how lucky I am to have you.”

“Well then, don’t underestimate my own gratitude for you, Ei.”

“But what have I done?”

“Favours don’t matter, Ei. It’s just like you said. I enjoy you. And your company.” Miko giggled as she repeated it. “There’s no one else I’d rather be spending all this time with.”

“Really?”

“Really. I would be happy like this for the rest of my days, and I mean it.”

“Miko, I…” Ei trailed out, stumbling for words as she couldn’t figure out how to respond. Where there was a light blush before there was now bright pink, her brows furrowed together cutely. With no idea what to say next, she awkwardly blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Now you make me feel bad for throwing flour all over you.”

Miko wasn’t expecting it, but it still made her chuckle lightly. This was just who Ei was.

“Oh, please. I threw it on you first.”

“Allow me to help clean it up, at least.”

Before Miko could respond, Ei lifted one of her free hands to hold Miko’s face. She almost shuddered at the touch, Ei’s palm soft and warm against her skin. The pad of her thumb began to swipe the stubborn specks of flour off Miko’s face, and yet she worked gently, her actions delicate and precise as if Miko were some sort of fragile treasure that needed to be preserved and dealt with the utmost care. In Ei’s hands, Miko felt like maybe she was actually fragile, that the second Ei let go she would fall to the ground and break. Her entire body had frozen up, heart jumping in her chest, completely fixated on relishing the feeling of Ei’s contact.

It was obvious that Ei was finished when she stopped brushing her fingers over Miko’s cheeks, and yet she still didn’t let go. They stood there in a silence, both enamoured in the moment, neither of them wanting to speak the first word after that. Their eyes stared into one another’s, rhodonite onto amethyst, and Miko realised that perhaps the fact they weren’t speaking aloud was because they didn’t need to. Just gazing at each other like this was all the communication they needed to understand each other.

Come closer . Ei’s eyes beckoned Miko forward, and she readily obliged. Her feet shifted beneath her as Miko shuffled towards Ei, closing the already small gap between them even more. Their bodies were skimming each other now, noses just a centimetre from touching too. Miko could feel Ei’s breath hitting her lips now. Her heart hammered against her ribcage harder and faster than it had ever before, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up.

And still, Miko didn’t want to close the gap entirely. The possibility that she was deciphering this whole situation all wrong loomed heavily above her, keeping her from taking the final step. Though if there was one thing that Miko was sure of, it was that Ei had guts far beyond her own.

This was it. Her one and only request back at Ei, after everything.

Kiss me. Miko gazed.

It was as if Ei was waiting for permission. Her hand still cupping Miko’s cheek, she pulled her in and finally closed the gap between them both.

The second Miko felt Ei’s lips against hers it was as if a firework had exploded in her chest and all around her. Her body had turned electric, excited sensations zapping around her entire being. Her eyes closed with pleasure and her heart impossibly sped up, hands vacating their spots on the wall to slide around Ei’s back. At the same time, she felt Ei’s own hands fall down from her face and snake around her waist.

So much built up desire kept Miko going for as long as possible, the taste of Ei like drinking honeydew straight from her lips better than anything she had imagined before. She wanted to stay in this moment forever, where the rest of the world just didn’t exist, and it was just the two of them with their lips up against each other and her hands starting to entangle themselves in the locked ends of Ei’s hair. Miko wanted this moment to last for an eternity.

But nothing lasts forever. 

In sync, they both pulled away for air at the same time. Miko stood there and panted to catch her breath, but she still didn’t pull her arms away from around Ei. She licked her lips as if trying to savour some of the taste that still lingered on them while they were apart, but it was nothing in comparison to just a few seconds before. Her entire body felt like it was floating, the only thing keeping her grounded to reality being Ei’s unyielding arms that still hadn’t moved from her waist.

“I— I kissed you.” Ei was the one who broke the silence. Her stunned voice shocked Miko back into reality. “I actually-“

“Do it again.” Miko interrupted.

“You want me to…?”

“Please.”

Ei didn’t need to be told twice, Miko feeling herself being pulled in a second time. She knew they needed to speak about this eventually, but she couldn’t bring herself to have that serious discussion right now. Not right now, when she felt so giddy inside after being kissed by Ei. No, what she needed to do right now was just focus on this moment, on Ei’s touch, on kissing her back. So she decided that the serious discussion of their feelings could wait. A label can come later, but this was the present moment, and Miko was savouring it as if there were nothing else left.

—

Miko didn’t want to wake up, but it was as if her brain had decided she had had enough sleep already. She groaned to herself, fighting to keep her eyes closed and linger in that drowsiness of sleep for just a few moments longer, but it was no use now that she had already started stirring. Her eyes squinted open, ready to meet the morning sun, but instead she was greeted with a room that was still bathed in darkness. Another sigh escaped her lips, her head turning as she blinked to make out the blurry numbers on her alarm clock that sat on her bedside table.

3:00AM. Great.

Nothing had even woken her up this time around. Apparently she was just a light sleeper. Regardless, Miko wasn’t planning on losing any more precious seconds of sleep, and so she reclosed her eyes and yanked the blankets closer to herself, nuzzling in their warmth. When she was finally comfortable, she turned herself over and tossed an arm over Ei. 

Well, that had been the intention until her hand harshly fell down upon the cold mattress. She jolted awake again, properly this time, eyes reopening to find the other half of her bed empty. Miko furrowed her eyebrows, propping herself up on one elbow and peering around the dark room to investigate. Ei had fallen asleep first earlier that night after all, right in the bed next to her. But now she was nowhere to be found, causing slight panic to tug at Miko’s chest. Thankfully, that anxious feeling quickly dispersed when she noticed the scintillating light of Ei’s phone still plugged in and charging against the wall, and then the even bigger bar of yellow light peering into the room from underneath the crack in the door.

So Ei was just in the next room. Probably to just grab a snack or use the bathroom or something. Miko breathed a sigh of relief, wondering why her mind had even gone to such places in the first place, but when her head hit the pillow again, all the tiredness from before was gone. Minutes passed in that position, but sleep still wasn’t coming, and she could tell it wasn’t going to come back for a while. Not with her mind awake and racing with random thoughts like this.

Again, Miko sat up, rubbing her eyes with a yawn. Her gaze fell back to the illuminated crack beneath the door, and she began to grow impatient. Rather than waiting for Ei to come back to bed, Miko decided to slowly twist around and rise to her feet. Pausing only to stretch the tension from her muscles, she tiptoed towards the door and silently pushed it open, emerging into the front room.

There, she finally saw Ei. She was perched cross legged on the sofa, arms wrapped around a mug of something hot, as if she were cradling it for warmth. On her face she wore a contemplative look, her eyes trained out the window and staring at the city skyline, seemingly captured in some sort of daydream. At the very least, she was in a trance like state enough that she hadn’t noticed Miko enter just yet, which allowed Miko to stand back and admire her for just a few more seconds before finally clearing her throat. 

Ei startled at the sound, snapping her head to look at Miko who still stood in the doorway.

“Hello Miko. Ouch.” She greeted before looking down at her hands, where some of the contents of the mug had spilt onto her skin from the way she jumped.

“Careful.” Miko shook her head as she walked to sit down in the armchair across from Ei. “What are you doing awake?”

“Woke up. Had a sweet tooth, so I made cocoa.” She vaguely gestured to the cup in her hands. “And you?”

“Woke up. Realised that my darling Ei was missing, so I just had to go on a mission to find her again.” 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Miko.” Ei shushed her, but even from this distance Miko could make out the rosy blush that spread across her face.

It was a sight that she would never, ever get bored of, even if it was easy to elicit with enough teasing or flattery. Like everything else about Ei, it was intoxicating. God, Miko was lucky to be able to call Ei hers. Just thinking about it put a smile on her face, her mind flickering back to the feeling of her palms around Ei, holding her against the refrigerator, their lips locked together in an embrace that was so long overdue. Ei had been blushing then too. Maybe that’s why Miko enjoyed the sight so much.

After all, everything had fallen into place from that first kiss. All their feelings had been laid out into the open and graciously accepted on both sides, leading to the situation they were in now. A relationship. Practically living together considering how they just had to run up and down the stairs to see each other. Their belongings were scattered between both the apartments now, and they usually just slept together in whichever apartment they happened to be in as night fell. It was an organised chaos; a lifestyle that was never constant, but one that they were both perfectly content with lasting forever. As long as they had each other, nothing else in their lives had to be fixed and secure. That was the beauty of it that Miko cherished so much.

“Now, now.” Miko quietened her. “It was a very daunting time for me.”

“Well, now that you have found her, why don’t you go back to sleep? You have to be up early tomorrow morning.”

“I could say the same to you. Unless you want me to go to our breakfast reservations all alone.”

Ei rolled her eyes. “I don’t really feel like sleeping anymore.”

“Neither do I, to be honest.”

“Would you like to watch the stars with me?”

“Sure.”

With that, Miko got up from the armchair and made her way to sit next to Ei instead. As soon as she was back down, she seemed to naturally melt into Ei’s side, eyes gazing out the window and towards the charcoal sky.

“I do love moments like these,” Ei murmured. “I just wish I could see the stars better.”

“I might know a place.”

“Where?”

“The roof.” MIko answered proudly.

“…Of the building?”

“What other roof?”

“Is that not trespassing?”

“Oh, Ei, come on,” Miko said. “Do you think the building owners care that deeply? As long as neither of us accidentally fall to our deaths, no one else will know we were ever up there. Besides, it’s only if the door is unlocked.”

“It would be nice to stargaze from that high up…” Ei admitted.

“See.”

“As long as we don’t go near the edge.”

“Of course.” Miko reassured, and that was all the convincing Ei needed.

Neither of them bothered to grab anything in preparation, Ei gulping down her drink until only dregs remained and setting it down on the coffee table and Miko swiping the key to get back in from the rack by the front door as they left. In silence they crept up each flight of stairs, past Ei’s apartment and then past the person who lived above her too. Their hands remained intertwined as they ascended each step as lightly as possible to avoid disturbing any of the neighbours.

When they had climbed the final flight of stairs, it was obvious. No more stairs were leading up, and instead of the usual porch layout of all the other residential floors, there was a large metal double door. A draft of air blew in from around it, and looking around the place, Miko could see how unkempt and dusty it was even in the dark. If Ei hadn’t been there she would have gone as far as to say it was creepy. Then again, they weren’t even supposed to be up here, so of course it wasn’t going to be kept tidy. This place wasn’t meant for anyone other than builders and technicians to pass through whenever something needed repairs.

Yet here they both stood, and despite the odd feeling of being in the wrong place, the childlike excitement of breaking the rules still revved in Miko’s heart. She didn’t need words as she stepped forward, opting to just place her hand on one of the heavy doors for a second. Although she half expected it to be locked, she still pushed on the heavy door with as much force as she could muster. And, much to her surprise, it slowly began to creak open. Ei quickly joined her in forcing it open the full way, and soon enough they had got it.

Looking at their handiwork, Miko’s mouth hung open slightly in awe. From this angle, far away from the edge, it was impossible to see the other buildings surrounding them. Rather than standing on the roof in the middle of a city, it looked as if they had somehow opened a portal to another dimension. As they stepped out into the night, it was as if they were walking into a some sort of outer space starscape, a galaxy where they had to hold onto each other so they wouldn’t drift apart. Miko felt Ei’s hand tighten around hers.

From up here, the stars twinkled so much brighter, like glitter underneath a light. And the moon was visible now too, hanging like a silver coin in the sky, but it shone down on the pair, bathing the entire rooftop in a cool, white glow. Miko’s eyes ravaged the velvety blanket sky, greedily taking it all in until there was nothing new left to holler at, and then her gaze finally fell upon the woman next to her once more. Ei’s neck was craned up, her own eyes wide with awe. She was much more slow and patient with her sightseeing, taking in every last detail rather than sweeping across it all at once. 

Underneath the cold light of the moon, Miko could so clearly see every single one of Ei’s features. Much like the way Ei was taking her time to admire the sky, Miko took her own time to admire Ei. The way the stars reflected in her eyes, the slight parting of her soft pink lips, all the way down to every pore and intricacy. Ei looked beautiful right now. Majestic. Like the gods were casting their gaze down upon her. Even with the high winds that knifed at Miko through her flimsy nightwear and the feeling of the cold concrete beneath her bare feet, all she could feel was warmth that so effortlessly emanated from Ei, seeping inside of her and filling her up.

“Look at the view.” Ei suddenly breathed.

“I’m looking at it,” Miko responded instantly, which finally caused Ei to break her stare at the stars and face her.

“After using that as a compliment, I hope you never bash the books you read for using too many clichés ever again.”

“Shush.” She felt the tips of her ears heat up. “I was serious.”

“I know. It’s just nice to tease you every once in a while, too.”

As some form of lighthearted apology, Ei pulled Miko closer to her, letting go of her hand only to wrap both arms around her instead. She rested her head on Miko’s shoulder, pressing a quick kiss against her cheek. Such simple gestures were so capable of bringing Miko joy like no other. It almost made her feel silly, how happy these things made her, but she didn’t have the capacity to care about that anymore. Not when she could forever be enjoying moments like this.

“You know, Miko.” Ei began to speak again, pulling herself up from Miko’s shoulder but still holding her close. “I am a little scared of this.”

“Hm?” Miko tilted her head towards Ei with confusion.

“Scared of being happy, I mean. That every moment I spend with you– looking at you, holding you, even just thinking of you– it’s a moment well spent. And for once I find myself with a reason and something to look forward to. So, I am a little scared that perhaps finally allowing myself to be happy once again is somehow a betrayal to Makoto, but… I think she would be happy for me too.”

“Oh, Ei.” Miko leaned further into Ei’s side. They didn’t need to look each other in the eyes; the moment was intimate enough already, just them amongst the stars. “She would be. I never met your sister, but from everything you have told me about her, it feels like I got to know her anyway. And I know she would have wanted you to be happy.”

“Now, hopefully she can be at peace.”

There was a solemn look on Ei’s face, but it was accompanied by a true, honest smile.

“She definitely is.” Miko reassured. “And I am so glad that you’re happy now.”

“It is all thanks to you.” Ei responded bluntly, but her tone soon dissipated into shyness. “I mean… Miko, I would be happy to spend eternities with you. After everything that happened, I never thought I would have the chance to be happy again. That I would just see life go by in my apartment, forever and ever, until it was my turn to go too. But… you have pulled me from that damnation. I wish there was a way to repay you.”

“There is no need to repay me.” Miko was on her tiptoes now, breaking away slightly from Ei’s arms just so they could stand face to face. She brought a hand up to cup Ei’s cheek, caressing her rosen skin. “Just you being here with me, right now, is enough.”

And it was true. Peering over Ei’s shoulder, Miko could finally just about make out the lights of the city below them. It was a manifestation of humanity at their feet, with each car that rolled by and each lit up window representing just one tiny life in a cluster of thousands. But none of those little lives were as important as the one in front of her, which she had been so lucky to become intertwined with.

Leaning against Ei, Miko could feel her heartbeat against her chest, and the hot breath against her skin, such a stark but comforting contrast from the icy air around her. Whatever had happened in the past, and whatever was to come, none of it mattered anymore. Or maybe it did, but they had learnt the lesson that it didn’t dictate their lives forevermore. There would be ups and downs. Miko knew things wouldn’t suddenly become linear. But for as long as they still had each other to fall back on, then all else would just fall into place. It was a mutual understanding, an unyielding agreement that this was their new forever, where they would fight with each other, alongside each other, for each other.

Miko stared at Ei, and her eyes spoke for her once again.

I love you.

This time, Ei responded out loud.

“I love you too.”

Miko closed her eyes on instinct, and instantly she felt Ei’s lips landing on hers again. It was a sensation that would never get old, one that she would savour for all of time.

Their embrace was interrupted by the rumble of thunder, a dark cloud that had suddenly appeared overhead that neither of them had even noticed. But Miko and Ei greeted the storm like an old friend.