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Suguru Geto did not want to die.
He knew he was going to at some point, because everyone does. It’s inevitable, like the world spinning on its axis around the sun, causing it to rise in the mornings and set in the evenings. And with what he does for a living and the way he has chosen to go about his life, he always figured it would happen sooner rather than later.
It was why he kept his room neat and tidy, not a speck of dust out of place. Pictures of him and his loved ones were perfectly straight, clothes neatly folded and hung up, and his bed made every morning like he never slept in it. Because when he did die, he wanted people to think of him kindly, think of him as a neat and well-kept person. A man that kept his bearings together and kept his sentimental trinkets well taken care of. He wanted the person that would come to gather his things to think that he had it all together during his time on Earth.
Suguru Geto, at this point in time, did not have it all together.
In that perfectly neat room, in that perfectly made bed, Suguru Geto lay in complete darkness, hollow and empty on the inside, staring at the ceiling and trying to gather thoughts that would not come.
All of his dreams, all of his aspirations, everything he wanted to do and be made loud, cacophonous music around him, but he ignored it. Right now, he didn’t feel like he was one of the strongest, all he felt was empty. He did not want to die, but he did not exactly want to be alive in the world as it was.
He would continue to live, he decided, but not in a world like this.
-
Satoru did not know exactly what was going on with Suguru.
He knew there was something wrong, he didn’t need the Six Eyes to piece that together. Suguru was more withdrawn, quiet. He was functioning like a robot trying to replicate human emotions, copying what he saw from movies and tv shows. Not noticeable to those who didn’t pay much attention, but to those that did, it came off as stilted and ingenuine.
Something just wasn’t quite right , but Satoru Gojo could not put a finger on it, and it was fucking killing him inside. He could ask Suguru what was wrong, try to talk to him through whatever it was, but Satoru wasn’t the best at emotions either. He could barely process his own emotions at the time, setting them aside for another time. It would be future Gojo’s issue. Current Satoru was just too goddamn busy to deal with all of it right now.
Maybe that was selfish of him. Suguru was his one and only, his best friend. Satoru probably wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he really did love Suguru. But between solo missions and recovering from the latest incident where he almost fucking died , Gojo just did not have the time to pay attention to every other facet of his and everyone else’s lives.
So, unfortunately, his one and only went on the back burner. He hoped he wouldn’t come to regret that.
-
Satoru regrets very few things, and his previous decision to push everything and everyone aside was, against what he hoped, definitely one of them. Because right now, he couldn’t believe what had just happened.
Suguru Geto, his best friend, snapped and destroyed an entire village.
Gojo wanted to say he didn’t see it coming, and in a way he didn’t. He knew something was wrong, he knew he should have done something. Future Gojo was now Current Gojo and Current Gojo was in a fucking mess right now. But he didn’t fucking expect his best friend to decide that committing mass genocide was the answer to his issues.
For once, Satoru Gojo didn’t fucking know what to do. He knew that Suguru had to die, and he knew that he had to be the one to do it.
The strongest had to kill the strongest , that’s just how it was.
Right now, standing in this crowded street, staring his one and fucking only down as his hands shook and he prepared to kill Suguru right here, right now, Satoru didn’t want to be the strongest. He just wanted to be Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto’s best friend. He wanted to reverse time and fix whatever the hell went wrong.
But while Satoru was the strongest, unfortunately he wasn’t a time traveler.
“If you want to kill me, kill me. There’s meaning in that too.”
They both knew he wouldn’t- no, couldn’t do that, whatever the meaning may be.
Satoru put his hand back down, and looked at Suguru. He had a lot of things that he wanted to say, that he regrets what happened, that he messed up time after time, that he loved him and he didn’t want to do this and to please please come back i’m sorry i can fix this suguru please i’m not the strongest without you please-
But he stayed silent, and Suguru just looked at him. Even at this distance, Gojo knew Geto was looking at himself through Satoru’s eyes.
And then, just like that, his one and only turned and left.
-
Suguru felt like he was a replica of himself, living silently in his original form.
He thinks that he is doing the right thing, that his plan is worth everything he is doing now. He has a new family, people that support him and his cause, and things are going fairly well. His dreams and aspirations of who he wants to be, what he wants to do in this new life he has chosen make just as much noise as they always have. But he still felt so hollow.
He still laid at night in his perfectly tidy room on his perfectly made bed, staring into the dark. But this time, one thing plagued his mind.
Satoru Gojo.
Geto loved Gojo once upon a time, and maybe he still did. Satoru was his best friend, after all, the one person who he trusted most of all. They were supposed to be the strongest together , grow and change and stick by each other through it all.
But life doesn’t always happen the way you think it should. There was always going to be turbulence that couldn’t be forecasted. Things were always going to be thrown off-course, but maybe things happened for a reason.
Suguru was told to believe in himself, believe in what he was doing, and he absolutely did. He felt strong in his convictions, that this was the reason everything happened the way that it did. But every once in a while, in the darkness of this room, he wished that things would have been different.
Sometimes, he missed when it was just him and Gojo, when it felt like them against the world. He doesn’t think he would go back to that time, but it doesn’t hurt to think about. Back then, at least his smiles were genuine, his laughs actually came from the heart, and he didn’t feel like he was faking the emotions he felt.
With Satoru, he felt a lot more human than he did now.
But Suguru had plans; he had dreams and aspirations to fulfill, and Satoru was standing in between him and his end goals. He wanted to be upset that he had to kill him, and maybe deep down somewhere he was, but any of those emotions would be buried deep down and never be fully realized.
He was too goddamned busy for all of that.
-
Suguru Geto did not want to die, but he was.
When he imagined dying, he didn’t imagine it to be so soon. He wanted to die, clean and pretty, surrounded by the ones he cared for as they cried over his passing. Suguru did not imagine dying in an alley, missing an arm as his former best friend stared down at him.
Satoru Gojo did not want to be the strongest, because that meant killing his one and goddamned only . He still just wanted to be Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto’s best friend, even after everything they went through in the lives they’ve chosen to live.
Maybe they haven’t changed as much as they once thought, not like they really could have anyways.
“Suguru…”
Geto looked at Gojo, right in the eyes, and this time Gojo knew he wasn’t just staring into his own. Suguru was staring right into Satoru’s soul.
“I love you.”
Suguru paused, his train of thought completely derailed. Suguru knew he couldn’t return that sentiment here and now, as much as he may come to regret it. He chuckled at the thought.
“At least curse me a little at the very end.”
In his last moments, before Satoru finally did what he had to do, Suguru was grateful that he kept that room tidy, and he again hoped the ones who came for his things looked upon him kindly in his death. He would also finally admit that he was grateful to die at the hands of his best friend. Suguru wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.
The strongest kills the strongest.
“Goodbye, Satoru.”