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All this time, I thought what's gonna make me kick the bucket is something related to gangs or violence.
A bullet through the chest, a knife in the abdomen, perhaps even a hemorrhage for constantly getting pounded in the head.
Because I, well, a resident fool kept chasing it. Kept my life on the line for others, turning my body into a shield to protect the members. Heh.
But no.
Just like my time leaping ability, my death comes unprecedented in the form of an illness.
The news was first delivered to me when I was at school. Sucks, right? I have no means of keeping this information from Chifuyu now. He cried, bawled, and wept at the time. But I was soulless. Thinking about what happened back then, I was pretty out of it. It didn't sink in for a while, and within that period, I was wandering. Chifuyu had to chase after me before a truck could accidentally run over me due to my own fault.
At the time, I thought to myself, "Why not take me now?" "Why make Chifuyu save me and then suffer later?" "Kill me, I don't care anymore. I'm going to die anyway."
Those thoughts continued to haunt me every waking day, and when I finally got to close my eyes at night. The nagging to whatever Divine Being rendered me wallowing in my own uselessness.
In my own vulnerability—mortality.
One night, I begged the Gods to kill me in my sleep. I begged whoever was listening, and hoped that maybe they would take pity on me and make my death swift.
But I still woke up the next morning.
I woke up with the worst headache I've ever experienced in my whole 26-years on Earth, and my stomach churned at every bite of food I tried to take in. The anxiety I have managed and kept at bay finally kicked in. It felt like I was getting punished for having the audacity to beg the Gods to kill me.
Maybe I was.
Nonetheless, it didn't make anything better. I'm a 26-year-old in the body of my 18-year-old self. Barely made it to adulthood. What made it worse was that I also had to beg Chifuyu to keep his mouth shut.
The image of betrayal back then was perfectly depicted on his face. For what reason? Because I asked him to do the same thing with my time leaping ability. Although, maybe this time around, it was not someone else's future at stake. And the probability of losing this round in the game is high up in the stakes. This was a sure loss. My time leaping was not. We still had the chance to change things around before we ended up with a fucked up future.
But my illness is the wildcard that threw off the game. Chifuyu was betrayed by the fact that I asked him to contribute to the losing game.
If I was sorry, I'd tell him it's okay. But I kept quiet when he scolded me. I smiled. Then, that's it. Chifuyu then swore he'd never tell anyone. Even if Toman uses him as the catch basin of their rage.
That, I was sorry about. He didn't need to but did so anyway.
How did I deserve a friend like him? I continue to wonder about that every time I catch him pretending—acting as if there was nothing terribly wrong with me.
As if in the few months… hell, maybe weeks, I don’t know, that I would still be there. As if I won’t be the source of their pain then.
Chifuyu deserves better. He always does. Even though the favor I forcefully asked of him was truly difficult, he had been doing a magnificent job. He was the only one who could pull it off in the long run.
Not even Hakkai or Mizo Mid was allowed to know. The whole lot of us continued to live through high school with five being kept behind the truth, and one, well... soon be kept buried 6-feet underground.
It'll pass. The anger will. Making people hate you is easier than making them understand.
The accident wasn't that bad. That day when I was hit with an accelerating baseball bat that flew out of the player's hand, I felt groggy afterward. The hit wasn't that hard, but my head rammed into the ground. I was surprised I didn't pass out. Most people would.
Probably because I was used to it. Maybe belonging to the strongest gang in Tokyo had its benefits. Sure I was getting beat up most of the time, but my head's harder than ever.
Not sure if I can say the same about my brain though.
Anyway, Chifuyu panicked back then. He was prepared to call any of the captains, or vice-captains, perhaps even Mikey, but I stopped him and threw his phone on the grass fields. He glared at me and asked what the fuck was wrong with me, but I couldn't have anyone frantic at my condition back then. I was sure it was a mild injury.
It was, but the effect is permanent. It triggered the onset of my illness.
Since then, Chifuyu would stay by my side at all times. Baji-kun's slowly growing suspicious about it, but I told Chifuyu that I'm going to be fine. As long as I stay out of anyone's line of rage, I won't get beaten up. He would constantly message me about how my day was going, or if I experienced something that needed immediate care. Sometimes, he would call me even if he was with Baji-kun or Kazutora-kun. I would always scold him for that. Told him he should pay attention to them first. They might get suspicious and ask what was going on.
Because...
(1) I wasn't prepared to tell them yet, and
(2) I'm... I don't want to bother them. I don’t want to be a burden.
It was for the same selfish reasons that I drown myself every day.
On most days, Mom would take me to the hospital for checkups and possible treatment. The doctors told us that the occurrence of such illnesses developing in young people is not impossible. Though it was pretty common for old age, and the cause was... let's just say I rather got unlucky and it was not due to getting beaten up now and then while in Toman.
In short, the cause was due to no apparent reason. Guess I was wrong.
The treatments possible include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and thermal ablation. The doctors said the overall 5-year survival rate was around 65%. If mine was localized, it's gonna be around 81%. Next week, we're going to find out if it's malignant or benign. If I'm going to die or not. Well, it's a type of illness that spreads quickly, and I wasn't hoping for the best anyway in the first place.
However, Chifuyu insisted that we pursue treatment. He even begged my Mom to convince me.
For now, excluding the doctors who diagnosed me, the only people who knew about my condition are Chifuyu, Mom, and I. I'm pretty adamant about making it stay that way. I don't care if it would take me weeks, months, or even years. I'm not telling anyone.
Even if the point stretched to the day I die… Maybe, I'd finally let people know by then.
After weeks of trips to the hospital, and sneaking around Toman, the doctors told us that I should be pulled out of school. I was in my third year in high school when that happened. Chifuyu is still by my side all the time. To the point that Mikey already confronted Baji-kun if something was going on between me and Aibou.
Chifuyu quickly denied the accusation. Mikey believed him, upon understanding that Chifuyu and I are just best friends. But his suspicions grew more when I constantly missed Toman's meetings.
At the time, the doctors said my illness turned cancerous, and I was on Stage 3. Chifuyu was with us when the doctor delivered the news. He was quiet at first. But when the doctor in charge of my case requested a private discussion of my illness with my Mom, Chifuyu cried silently.
"Chifuyu?" I called on, but he wasn't responding. We were in the hallway, seated at the metallic waiting chairs that lined the wall. His head was down, and I could see his tears dripping as his knuckles turned white with the intense grip of his fists.
"Chifuyu..." I called once again. This time, he raised his head and turned to face me. His eyes were red, and it was starting to swell. I could tell from that moment that he was begging me to let everyone know. His face said it all when he couldn't form his words.
At the time, I smiled weakly at him.
Then, darkness took over my vision.
The beeping of the heart monitor greeted me the moment I woke up. The sun had already set for hours and out came the moon. My vision was blurry at first, and my head had a dull ache. I think I hit my head earlier. I don't know.
When I turned my head, there was a lump of familiar blond hair beside my bed. He was holding my hand. When I let my gaze scan throughout the room, I was surprised when I saw the founding members and some of the captains and vice-captains resting on the sofas. Some were sleeping on the floor with a makeshift bed underneath them.
Draken-kun, Baji-kun, and Chifuyu were seated on the nearest sofa to my bed. With Kazutora seated on the floor, his head rested between Chifuyu and Baji-kun's thighs. Mitsuya, Hakkai, Smiley, and Angry made up the biggest sofa. Hakkai and Angry were leaning on their captains as they slept. Pehyan-kun and Pahchin were sleeping on the floor. A makeshift bed made out of rectangular cushions was underneath them.
So this person besides my bed must be...
"Takemitchy? Are you awake?" Mikey raised his head upon noticing me.
Oh no… Did Chifuyu call them?
"I'll let the nurses know first, wait for me..." He said and squeezed my hand before he went out to get the nurse. Draken stirred in his sleep, and perhaps the open door made him more awake.
"Oh, Takemitchy. Glad you're awake... Did Mikey...?" His sentence was cut off when Mikey returned with the nurse and doctor following him. The rest of Toman have woken upon their arrival and fixed their positions. Kazutora stood up and went to the bathroom. Chifuyu was carefully observing the doctors and the nurse with their assessment of me.
The doctor asked the questions I already knew by heart. And every time, my answers were still the same. There were aches I couldn't describe properly, some were severe, some were dull, and there was swelling in some parts of my body.
When the doctors were finished, I released the tears I didn't know I was holding. I wasn't sobbing, or bawling. But the tears flowed ceaselessly. The others could only watch.
"Damn, I feel like a sore loser," I said, chuckling. I quickly wiped away the tears that stained my cheek. I'm prepared to hear their complaints, to take in their anger, their hatred, and the pain I brought because of my betrayal.
I was prepared to be thrown away.
To be hated.
But there was none. Only silence and pain.
The silence that I knew was because they were lost. Well, that was my fault.
Mikey was the first one to speak up, "Chifuyu didn't tell us. So don't take this against him." He said as he sat on his previous seat beside my bed.
"It was Mitsuya who saw both of you in the hallway. He was with Luna and Mana for their monthly check-up earlier and happened to witness what happened to you. He called us immediately at the time." He said, caressing my hand. I looked at Chifuyu who turned his head down.
"Chifuyu refused to tell us anything. Auntie told us that you're sick," He said. "But she didn't specify how sick you are." Mikey scooted closer to my bed.
"Takemitchy..." He called on and caressed my hand. "Please, tell us what happened." He begged, I could see the desperation in his eyes. He wanted to help. Mikey wanted to help me. So much that it pains him.
So much that the hands that were holding mine were shaking.
Draken-kun stood up and approached the bed. "If it were any normal sickness like any of us could catch, we wouldn't be this worried because we know that you're tougher than you look." He paused and sighed.
"Takemitchy, you missed months of Toman's meetings. We barely see you anymore. All that we hold unto are Chifuyu's words, that you're busy reviewing for College and all that shit." He said in a tone that was not accusing, but rather, it sounded more like a plea.
"Shinichiro-san and I could barely hold Mikey and Baji from barging into your house to see what’s going on." He said. I took a glance at Toman. The looks on their faces were not the same looks you’d see in battle. I scanned each of their expressions, and it pained me. It fucking pained me. These guys…
There was an ache in my chest that I couldn't recognize. Damn it.
How stupid can I be?
“Takemitchy’s dying.”
Those mere words alone halted everyone’s world. Chifuyu’s gaze remained on the ground as he spoke. Mikey stilled in his seat beside Takemitchy. No one dared to say anything. Perhaps, nobody had the energy and will to do so. Thus, the blond first division vice-captain continued.
“I guess I should’ve started from the beginning instead of dropping the fucking bomb on you huh,” He said and chuckled lowly. It was soon replaced by slight sobbing.
“Aibou was diagnosed with an illness months ago,” He started, everyone’s eyes on him. “We were at school back then. Takemitchy wasn’t feeling that well at the time, so we walked across the field for fresh air, but we didn’t notice that some guys had a baseball bat.” Chifuyu paused and recalled the panic he experienced that day. He was prepared to call everyone, but Takemitchy stopped him.
“They weren’t wearing their PE uniform that time so we thought they were just playing around. No serious game whatsoever. But when we noticed that one of the guys was about to swing, it was too late. His friend threw the ball and he swung. The swing didn’t hit Takemitchy, but the baseball bat flew and hit him.”
“The momentum rammed his head on the ground. He was brought to the clinic after that. I was gonna call you guys but Takemitchy stopped me by throwing my phone on the field, told me he’s gonna be okay and there was no need to make anyone else worry.”
“When he was in the clinic, the doctor there told me to call his parents. So I did. I asked what happened, and what could have been wrong, and the doctor said the injury might have triggered something serious. Takemitchy was immediately brought to the hospital with me and Auntie.” He sobbed. Chifuyu wiped his tears with his sleeve, as Baji rubbed his back.
It was Takemitchy’s turn to tell now. Chifuyu couldn’t stop his tears anymore. Beside him, Baji continued to console him as Kazutora lightly tapped his thigh in comfort.
“Chifuyu cried that same day because of the diagnosis. I wasn’t really in the right headspace at that time. I roamed for days, and there were instances that Chifuyu had to stop me before a truck could run me over in the pedestrian lane.” Takemitchy scoffed, Mikey’s hand never left his. The shaking had stopped, but he could feel Mikey’s grip getting tighter.
“For months I kept the secret from you guys. I begged Chifuyu not to tell anyone, not even Hakkai or Mizo Mid. It was only me, Chifuyu, and my Mom who knew about my condition,” He said, tears staining the hospital gown. The beeping of the heart monitor continued to reverberate around the room.
“During those months, I continued studying while I’m in treatment. But now, the recent months have been particularly more difficult than the first few.” He paused and heaved a sigh.
“I knew something had changed, but I was sure it got worse. It was more likely than getting better. The pain became unbearable every time it ached and the treatment made me exhausted. So I asked Chifuyu to tell you guys I wouldn’t be able to attend meetings because I was busy. That’s on me, that was my fault. I asked him to lie, and for that, I’m sorry.” Takemitchy bowed his head, “I’m not going to ask you for forgiveness because what I did was inexcusable. I betrayed Toman. It was me. Not Chifuyu. Please don’t punish him.” He said.
Silence filled the next few minutes. Everyone was still shocked by the truth Chifuyu and Takemitchy had dropped on them.
Outside, you can almost hear the sound of late-night traffic. The busy crowds of Tokyo continued to emit life as the night deepened.
“Look up,” Mikey suddenly ordered, his expression unreadable. “Please, Mitchy. Look up.” He said. Takemitchy did as he was told. He was met with the glassy eyes of his Commander. Tears were threatening to fall, and it pained Takemitchy to see Mikey crying. He couldn’t help but cry too.
His hand found its way to Mikey’s cheeks and cupped them. Wiping away the tears that streamed his cheeks.
Mikey turned his head towards Takemitchy’s hand and planted a lingering kiss. “You’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” He said with conviction. Either that or desperation. Mikey doesn’t know. All he knows is that he wants his Mitchy to survive.
For the love of every goddamn life, he needs him to survive.
Mikey wouldn’t know what to do if he died.
“You’re going to survive, okay? We’ll ask Koko to help. We’re going to get through this Takemitchy. You, me, and Toman. I need you, we need you.” He said, determination coursing through his veins. He’ll ask Shinichiro if he knows anyone that could help. Maybe he should ask Izana too.
Takemitchy choked a sob, and tears brimming his eyes, “Mikey-kun… I’m on Stage 3.” He whispered.
Please, give up on me. Takemitchy almost said.
“You’re gonna get better, Takemitchy, please don’t give up yet. Toman’s not giving up on you. You didn’t give up on us even if we almost fell to the deep end, so let us return the favor. Please, Mitchy, there’s still hope.” At this point, Mikey’s practically begging. The other Toman members couldn’t just let the Commander do this alone.
It was Pehyan who spoke first. “Pahchin’s parents can help you get into a hospital that specializes in your illness. They have connections everywhere.” Pehyan suggested. “That’s right! I’ll ask them about this later. We can also lend you some money if you need it.” Pahchin agreed immediately and sat upon the cushions underneath him.
“Don’t worry about your Division,” Baji started, “Kazutora and I will supervise them, make sure they’re not stirring up shit.” He said. Kazutora nodded, “I’ll make sure Mizo Mid stays out of trouble.” He added.
Soon, other members began to offer their help too. Takemitchy’s heart tugged, he didn’t know if it was because of his illness, or something else. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop crying.
“Hakkai and I will search for possible blood donors with Type A or O blood types. We’ll contact your Mom about this, okay Takemitchy?” Mitsuya offered as Hakkai nodded. “Taka-chan and I can donate blood too if you want, I’m type O and he’s type A.” He said.
“I’m a type O. I think Chifuyu has the same blood type too,” Draken followed. “Do they allow people with tattoos to donate blood though? Anyway, let’s just ask them.” He concluded. Draken then sat on the chair on the other side of his bed.
Draken chuckled at first and sighed in disbelief afterward.
This is really happening, huh.
“Oi, Takemitchy. This goes without saying, but we’re not leaving you.” Draken reassured, “I know you’re in a tough position that’s why you didn’t tell us. Knowing you, we’re aware that you don’t want to become a burden to anyone. I mean, you’re the crybaby that carried us through the battleground countless times. So, listen to me carefully,” He paused. “You’re not a fucking burden to us Takemitchy. Not once, not ever. You got that?” He said.
“Also,” He starts, “You didn’t betray Toman. I’m saying this on behalf of the Commander, and Toman. Believe me, you were far from betraying us. Even if you did, I don’t think we’ll hold a grudge against you. I know I won’t.” He admitted and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs.
“You’re going to live a long life. Toman will witness Mikey finally asking you out after years of him pining for you.” With that said, Mikey’s slipper almost flew past Draken’s head, but he caught it.
“And our adventures will continue after that. The gang itself may get disbanded, we don’t know. But, we, friends will remain connected. Do you hear? So we’re not giving up on you.” Draken continued.
For the rest of the night, Toman remained with Takemitchy, reassuring his doubt and making sure he wasn’t alone in his fight.
For months Mikey never left his side either. There will always be two to three Toman’s founding members, captains, or vice-captains who always accompanied Takemitchy in his treatment sessions. Pahchin stayed true to his words and asked his parents for help. So are the other members who offered their hands to help Takemitchy fight his battle. He has transferred to a better hospital thanks to the help of Pahchin’s parents. The Hanagakis didn’t need to borrow money for Takemitchy’s treatments, but Toman ensured he won’t get short and his treatments won’t get paused. All through legal methods, of course.
The time-leaping ability was never revealed to anyone else besides Chifuyu, Hina, Mikey, and Draken. The four of them thought it was better than allowing other people to know. Besides, after two years, the gang itself was then disbanded by Mikey. So there was no need to let people take a peek into Takemitchy’s life.
However, perhaps the greatest shock they have experienced so far was that four years into his treatment, Takemitchy accidentally shook hands with Naoto.
He was never meant to go back yet.
Fuck.
“Oi! Mikey! What got you cooped up so long! Come on, the others are already there!” Draken yelled throughout the Sano household.
What the fuck is taking this guy so long? Seriously, at 27 years old, he’s still like this.
“Kenchin,” Mikey open the door to his room, “Did you have the—”
“Yeah, yeah. They’re in the car. Come on, he’s already waiting.” He told Mikey. Draken unlocked the car and went into the driver’s seat. Mikey soon followed after locking the house and slid into the back seat. The flowers sat comfortably beside him.
It’s been so long, Mitchy.
It was quiet throughout the whole ride, Mikey looked through the window as he watched the scenery shift from rural to urban. For years, his heart never changed. It has always been him since the beginning. As he recalled every memory he has of him, Mikey found comfort and fell asleep.
Ah, I missed him so much.
When Mikey woke up, he thought he could see the light. But when his vision was cleared, he was greeted with kisses.
“Who the fuck—”
“Wow, not only that you were late, after two years abroad, that’s how you’re gonna welcome back your husband?” Mikey jolted awake when he recognized the owner of the voice.
“Takemitchy!” He exclaimed and hugged him. Takemitchy let out a surprised yelp when they both stumbled backward into the seat of the car. Mikey then took the chance to plant a lingering kiss on his lips.
“You don’t know how much I fucking missed you,” He said, and peppered Takemitchy’s face with chaste kisses. The latter could only laugh at his lover’s antics.
“Okay! Okay! I missed you too, Mikey-kun!” He said, surrendering. Mikey sat up and took the flowers beside him and gave them to Takemitchy.
“I know you said no flowers, but fucking hell, it’s been two years. Come on, let me be the simp I am for you.” He said. Once again kissing his husband’s temple.
Takemitchy thanked him and returned the kiss. They both got into the car and drove off the airport. Draken drove them straight to the welcoming celebration party Mikey and the others planned for Takemitchy’s return.
When he leaped back to the future, Takemitchy was expecting death. He didn’t know exactly how he would know, but he was sure that he wouldn't be on Earth anymore. However, his consciousness brought him back to the point when Mikey’s proposing to him on one knee. So paint him confused and bewildered at that moment. When Mikey noticed his unusual behavior, he was prepared. He tried to call off the engagement, but Takemitchy already said yes without hesitation.
Mikey wanted to believe it was his Takemitchy’s decision and was not pressured by the situation he found himself in. However, when Takemitchy did confirm that his 26-year-old self indeed came from the past, Mikey couldn’t hold his happiness any longer.
Ah, he’s back. My Mitchy’s back.
“Manjiro…”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
Mikey sat up, “I love you too, Mitchy. Is there something wrong?”
“No, I’m just thankful you didn’t give up back then.”
“I wouldn’t give up on you, ever, Mitchy. Like I always told you.”
“Hmm, thank you.”
“Now, sleep. You had a long flight. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
fin.