Work Text:
"ohmymotherfuckingSHIT"
Zoro sighed as he heard a trail of curses, most likely said by Sanji, coming from the kitchen. He set down glasses and stretched out his arms. His occupation was a writer, and was asking his editor for an extension when he heard another screech.
"Zoro if you don't get here RIGHT NOW you best believe I'm gonna kick your ass!"
He sighed for the second time, actually getting up to walk to the kitchen. If Sanji said his actual name, he was probably in trouble. He exited their bedroom and stepped down the stairs until Sanji was in view. He was standing on.. the counter? Sanji Black, the most clean, organized, "hey mosshead, don't put your dirty hands on my counter," was standing on it. He might've laughed if he wasn't so tired.
"Curly.. what're you doing?" Zoro inquired, acknowledging the terrified emotion plastered on Sanji's face.
"Mosshead." Sanji gritted out, pointing a spatula towards the ground. "Get that.. disgusting insect out of my kitchen."
Zoro peered towards the right of the counter, seeing a large spider crawl slowly up to the fridge. He smirked looking back up at Sanji.
"Little guys not even doing anything to you."
"Zoro, I swear to god. Get it out of my kitchen. It's.. distracting me from making dinner."
"Can you say please?"
"Zoro."
"C'mon, just one word?"
Sanji inhaled, then exhaled slowly. He turned to Zoro and pleaded, "Please, Zoro. Get that disgusting stupid excuse for a bug out of my kitchen."
Zoro smirked, bending down to grab the spider gently. He wrapped it up in a paper towel and walked towards their front door. He unlocked it and shooed the spider away.
"I don't get how you do that so casually." Sanji shivered, stepping down. He tossed his spatula in his sink, wiping his hands.
Zoro shrugged, "It's not my fault shitty-cook can't handle bugs."
He smirked as Sanji hissed, "oh, fuck off."