Chapter Text
Sawamura Eijun.
Third year.
Reserve pitcher of Seido baseball team.
To say he's not a good player is a lie.
He wouldn't be used multiple times to save the team in a losing game if he's actually bad.
First year..
He started playing with the thought that he's gonna be the Ace in the future.
Then he realized how hard it is to play in highschool, he first settled to just be able to play and then the Ace.
He managed to join first string and play for the team. He felt the team spirit filling his every bit of being with purpose. Finals came and everything came crushing down. He got the yips. His dreams of being the Ace seemed to be dragged far away.
He bulldozed through it. Gained back what he lost and more. The Ace number, he can finally see it's back.
In his second year, everything he's used to began to change. Former third years are gone. Now he's the senpai to first years.
He doesn't know what's with him that in all of his second year, he didn't manage to snatch the Ace number freely given to Furuya.
Maybe he's just not good?
But Furuya got bad plays too. He saved their asses multiple times, only to be given the reserve spot again. Will he ever be the Ace?
Third year.
If Eijun said he doesn't want to be the Ace, he would definitely be lying.
He wanted it. More than ever.
He worked hard. Too much even.
But they don't seem to notice EVERYTHING he does.
Now he's standing at the batter's circle, tears freely dripping off his face. He looked on as the other team gather at the mound with their Ace and Seto crying at the batter's box after striking out.
"In the end. I still didn't gain their acknowledgment to be the ace."
At his back was a big print of number 11. A stark contrast to Furuya's number 1.
"Game set!! With the score of 8-9, in favor of Inashiro. Inashiro Industrial would proceed to the Nationals."
It's finally ending. Yeah. This is definitely the end.
After the coach gave Furuya the Ace number at the Kantou of their third year, he knew in his heart he would never be the Ace.
He doesn't want to give up, but he don't have much choice.
It's a team's choice anyways. He smiled bitterly at the thought.
He didn't talk to anyone on their way back. As the team captain, he got to be strong. He have to support the team, just like how Miyuki pulled up the whole team with him before.
But his role was long done. Him, being captain ended at that last strike out. He can be weak however he wanted. He can cry however much he can. But cry he can't. Tears seemed to have dried off. He just watch the sceneries outside the bus change, remembering the last time they came home crying like this.
It seems like it's always the same.
Like how you're always the reserve pitcher. Something at the back of his mind supplied.
....
They were going off the bus when Furuya walked to him.
Seeing the sudden tension around their two pitchers, everyone stopped on their tracks and look at them.
"Eijun." Furuya looked at him dead in the eye. "I'm sorry."
Somehow, this 'Sorry' hurts more than their loss.
"What for."
It's not a question, but just a instinctual response Eijun built in himself whenever someone would be in his case when he became the captain.
"You should have been---"
"Furuya. Don't say it." Eijun stopped the bile rising in his throat. "It's not meant to be and it never will be."
Eijun immediately left the place, going straight to the comfort room. He directly opened the tap and let the water flow as he dry heaved. Something is rising from his stomach but nothing would come out.
What does Furuya wanted to say? He can't be sure. But he knew it'd be along the lines of 'you should be the Ace.' 'You should have been sent out early.' and many should haves that they all thought after so many games they played. They're always saying that whenever there's a bad game but they never seem to remember it when it counts.
It's not like he could just volunteer himself to play. He's already passed that phase in his life and can't actually use his position to force them.
His decisions would be always for the team.
It's what a captain do. It is what he needed to do. He can't be selfish. There are many people in the team who doesn't even got to play. What does he, the captain, got to say? He's a regular player since first year.
....
That night, he lied down his bed and went to sleep with thoughts of what if's.
'What if he didn't leave Nagano at all?'
'What if he went to other school in Tokyo, just not in Seido?'
'What if he didn't meet, Miyuki Kazuya?'
After all, being a boony doesn't sound as bad as 'Perpetual Reserve'.
...
He woke up hearing his loud blaring alarm.
'I don't remember setting alarm? What the hell?'
He blearily opened his eyes as he tried to feel off his phone and turn the alarm off.
"Hyahaha!! Sawamoron! Wake up!! You'll gonna be late for practice!!!"
Eijun immediately thought he was dreaming. That all too familiar voice can't be actually there right? They already graduated a year ago?
"Kuramochi-senpai? Why are you here?" He asked after confirming the existence of the older one.
"HAH??!! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?! Oh yeah, you are. This is my room where else could I be?"
Eijun's eyes almost burst out of its sockets. 'WHAT?!'
He grabbed his phone and saw that it's the old phone he has, way back in Nagano and not the smart phone he just bought at the start of his third year.
"Hurry up!! You have 20 minutes. The coach hates late comers." Kuramochi then went out of the room.
Eijun stared blankly at his phone. At the date it was showing to be exact. It's his first day in Seido.
Pranks be damned. This phone was run over by a truck. It's impossible for anyone to buy the same thing as it's long gone in the market. It's even more impossible to get the same photo the screen had.
What the hell is going on?
Though confused. Eijun managed to arrive at the line before the coach. Credits to all the almost military trainings he had before. But his body felt heavy. It wasn't the same body he had in third year!!!
His hunches were slowly being proven correct as the thrid year senpais he knew off started showing up one by one.
'Chris-senpai!!' his eyes went red the moment he saw the third year catcher. He had the urge to cry his eyes out.
What the hell is happening? Why is he relieving his life?
Again...
Why???
He can't..
He's tired of this sh*t..
Can't he just get his long awaited graduation?
He doesn't have the energy to thaw all the ice and push and pull the team together.
Fate can't be that cruel, right?
In all his musings, the coach turned to him. It's his turn to introduce himself.
"Sawamura Eijun. From a no name school in Nagano. I'm playing..." Should I "I'm playing out field!!"
Confusion could be seen on Takashima-san's face. He was recruited as a pitcher after all..
He gave a hollow laugh.
I'm sorry Takashima-san. I don't think I'm an Ace material you though of me.