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………….
Shouto is about eleven the first time he tries to kill his father
……………
Knife clutched tightly in his hands, raised high above his head. His father is deeply asleep, arrogant in his belief of safety.
Just one strike, just one
His arms are trembling, hands clammy and sweaty around the knife. The burns sting his skin his clothes chafing against the unattended wounds, there is a roiling pit of i ndecipherable emotions settled deep in his belly, a shiver wracks through his body. The room is warm
The faint whispers of a ghost long dead caress his ears. “Go on, do it. Do it for me, for you for us. Do it Shouto, He deeserves it “
Shouto cannot feel anything for the pounding in his ears and the feel of Phantom hands guiding his own
His father twitches
Shouto flees
……………..
Izuku finds him just as the sun begins to set, the white and red glint of his hair catching the sun’s rays. He is crouched under the slides muttering to himself, an anomaly, an irregularity, a curiosity, Izuku is intensely fascinated
“what’re you doing? “
The question slips out before Izuku can stop himself. If the boy with the peppermint hair is startled, he doesn’t quite show it. He simply looks up and gives Izuku a slow nonplussed blink and says nothing.
For a moment Izuku’s gaze flickers to the huge scar taking over a side of the boy’s face and stores the information away. The boy is missing an eyebrow it gives him a slightly lopsided look and Izuku finds himself absesntmindedly wondering if it would have grown in red or white.
Izuku moves closer and crouches as well, the two boys regard each other intently
The playground is empty enough, the stragglers packing up are far enough to be oblivious to the conversation. The sun’s rays set the boys hair ablaze and closer now he can see that the eye with the scar is cloudy, a faded sort of color of what once was most likely a bright blue. His gaze however is clear and intense, he’s searching for something what it is Izuku is unsure, but he must find it. He nods hair flopping on his face as he sits up
“I am devising a plan to kill my Father “
His voice is low, rough and a bit croaky, blasé with almost no inflection. There are undressed burns peeking out of his clothes, his pallor is pale and sweaty, and try as he might he cannot hide the tremor that runs through him every few seconds
Izuku hums and nods, settling himself in a more comfortable position under the blank faced scrutiny of the peppermint boy. Once he’s settled, he pulls out his hero notebook 12 and scribbles title out, then opens it to a blank page and sets it on the ground between them
“Need some help?”
…..
“Ok”
…..
Shouto is a little over 13 when he tries to kill his father again. Although admittedly he wouldn’t be the one doing the killing this time, but what does it matter, results are results.
………..
The teacher is giving them the rules and instructions, reminding them once again not to wander off and to ensure to follow the signs if needed. Shouto of course pays little attention to the teacher’s speech, the attractions and displays of the Sezumi fair are of no interest to him today, he has an objective to fulfil.
Once the teacher is done babbling and leaves them to their own devices with parting instruction to meet here in an hour, something which Shouto has no intention of doing. Shouto takes his cue and leaves, ditching his school lanyard as he weaves through the crowds careful to avoid searching eyes he strides right towards the exit and following a crowd right out of the venue.
Himatori is a breeding ground for illicit underground criminal activity, rife with organised syndicates and gangs
It is currently the most and possibly only accessible for him. This he has planned for a long while, although he has had to adjust the plans to account for the fact that he has been able to get there earlier than expected.
He knows exactly where to go. Shouto strides unbothered through the streets, with the occasional turn right or left, there is no need to look at the paper clutched in his hands, the paper Izu had gifted him. The green haired boy’s visits at the playground were far and in between, made scarcer by his lack of freedom and the continual training. However, when they did meet, Izu was there with new information and advice
He doesn’t question where the boy gets his information from just as Izu doesn’t question or ask who he is, Shouto has no time to entertain the very likely possibility that Izu already knows who he is or that he is in affiliation with villains or might even be one. He doesn’t quite care either, as far as Shouto cares, it’s a beneficial relationship, who Izu is or what he does in his spare time is none of his business.
Shouto comes to a stop in front of an unassuming shop, a shop so unassuming on a street of unassuming buildings that it somehow stands out. Shouto stands and stares for a few seconds at the attention attracting unassuming building, offers a noncommittal hum, then turns and strolls into the building left of it.
The bell jingles as he walks in, but the receptionist doesn’t bother to acknowledge his entrance. Hidden behind a large newspaper, the receptionist is more or less invisible and continues to ignore Shouto’s existence.
Shouto uses this time to observe his surroundings, it’s a non-descript unassuming room, not particularly rememberable save for the off-white colours of the walls that lean towards pink. Otherwise, it looks like a neat average store, except for the glaring lack of items to sell.
Shouto looks away from the empty display windows to find that the receptionist staring at him. Newspaper finally put aside, Shouto is faced with a person he can only assume has a mutant quirk, implied heavily be the crocodile head in place of the expected humanoid one. A person who despite the lack of humanoid features manages to exude an utterly unimpressed expression at him
“Didja get lost kid? “Their voice is rough and croaky hissed out with great effort the question comes across as more of a demand, Shouto shrugs in reply
“No “
At the receptionists highly irritated look, Shouto continues
“I would like to employ your services “
The receptionist scoffs, a throaty uncomfortable sound, then leans back into their seat “Didn’t ya see the sign outside. It says ‘We’re closed tater-tot, if ya can’t read “
Shouto had in fact glimpsed at the sign, and then promptly ignored it. He steps forward unbothered by the baleful glare thrown his way and places a card on the desk.
“My name is Sho, I would like to hire your best contract killer to kill Endeavor “
There is a moment is silence as the receptionist stares blankly at him
“I have money if that’s what you’re concerned about “
………………
Shouto had been escorted by a man with an undistinguishable face to one of the businesses numerous back rooms and sat on a grey chair, in front of a grey table in a grey cubicle like room and told to wait.
He had the niggling feeling that there was the possibility he had walked into a trap of sorts, perhaps it was the lack of windows, or the very suspicious rusty stains on the discoloured grey floor or maybe it was the way the door clicked as it shut, implying rather heavily that it was locked.
Of course, Shouto is trained to not work on hunches alone, and this hunch is easily confirmed by his inability to open the door which was now confirmed to be 100% locked.
Shouto hums to himself, a short contemplating sound, walks back the grey chair behind the grey table in the grey cubicle like room, with its non-existent windows and suspicious stains on its floor. Stares unimpressed at the locked door and waits.
……………..
Dabi had been having a good day, as difficult as that was to believe. A nice and relaxed day, he’d gotten paid quite well for his last job and was looking forward treating himself, his skin ached less than normal, and the weather was decent, and everything was going just fine.
Was being the key word there
Rather than enjoying his day quite frankly anywhere else, Dabi finds himself trailing after Yaichi, the idiot had come to him about the possibility of a job and the only reason he hadn’t told him to fuck off is because the idiot had mentioned that some brat had come to Headquarters to hire someone to take out Endeavor.
The possibility of someone trying to get to Endeavor before he can is what spurs him to follow Yaichi, and perhaps a bit of curiosity as well. Headquarters as always is a dreary and monochrome place and as Dabi follows Yaichi through the hallways leading to the holding cells, he realises he hadn’t asked who the hell the person even was, an action he comes to regret quite quickly as Yaichi unlocks the door and he gets a glimpse of who is sat inside.
“Why the hell have you got Endeavour’s brat in here “
………………..
Touya Dabi hasn’t seen his brother in almost eight years, but it is unmistakably him, so different and yet the same, he’s sat there in all his glory, bored expression, gangly limbs teenagers are often graced with and of course his ridiculous hair red and white, evenly split.
Impassive heterochromic eyes meet his, those are the most unfamiliar, there is no glint of familiarity, Shouto has no idea who he is, this realisation is a dump of icy water and a wash of twisted triumph. He fixes his face into an irritated scowl and turns back to face a shocked Yaichi the idiot. Dabi stalks out of the room dragging Yaichi behind him, they need to talk.
…………….
This organisation is run by idiots and Dabi deeply resents whoever left Daichi of all people in charge, he fantasises of setting their trousers on fire, the imagery tempers the violent urge to torch the whole place to the ground and be done with it. A part of him cannot comprehend the fact that he's arguing with Yaichi to let the brat go.
He could just leave Daichi to deal with the inevitable fallout out and the disaster that would be the Hero Commission sending Agencies to do clean-ups, however that would of course interfere with his plans and upset the whole underworld system seeing as Himatori is rather crucial to certain parts of the general underworld. All this he of course is forced to relay to Yaichi the stubborn ass
He tolerates a few more seconds of his yammering before he makes the decision to switch methods in hope of a better outcome. Hands smoking, Dabi fists Yaichi’s stupid looking vest and just about snarls at him
“What do you think will happen once word gets around that you’ve got Endeavour’s precious heir in captivity. Do you really think they won’t flush every single one of you out just to get him back?"
“You would risk everything just for that?! “At this Yaichi looks like he’s about to protest he shuts him down
“Shut up and listen to me Yaichi, if the brat could find you so easily, what exactly is stopping the heroes from the same. Did you bother to think any of this through, the entire possibility of this being a trap and him being bait! “
At this point he is smoking, wafts of acrid vapour curling of his clothes and skin. Yaichi is spluttering, stumbling to find a suitable reply and failing. Dabi knows he’s gotten to him, so he goes in for the kill. Sighing he rests an uncomfortably warm hand on Yaichi’s shoulder drawing him close enough to whisper to him
“Listen to me and you can clear up this mess before the bosses find out”
Yaichi goes completely rigid in Dabi’s overly warm grasp, and he can actually see comprehension descending on him as he goes pale with horror.
“Do understand me now “
“Yes”
“Good, let’s go “
…………………..
Yaichi occasionally is in fact useful and as he re-enters the room containing Todoroki, he can see the results of his instructions spread out across Todoroki’s skin. For all Yaichi’s stupidity he works pleasantly quickly.
“So, I assume no one is taking the job then? “
For someone who looks like they’ve been mugged Todoroki doesn’t seem to show it in anyway, tone deadpan and his expression unimpressed. His nonplussed attitude fills Dabi with fury.
Todoroki barely blinks at the flaming fist slammed on the table in front of him, showing no other reaction than the slight shimmer of interest at the blue flames, perhaps he is concussed Yaichi is rather strong, that assumption is proven wrong when Shouto looks into his eyes, gaze clear and entirely unaffected. Good Dabi thinks, then he’ll understand every word I’m about to say to him.
“Listen to me brat. Next time you have some spat or stupid disagreement with you father you deal with it over on your side. Don’t bring your stupid fucking tantrum all the way here, there is no patience or care for hero brats-
“Why does it matter where the money comes from, why can’t you just take the job. I can just go elsewhere; I don’t see the point of all this “
Dabi laughs, it isn’t a particularly pleasant sound.
And what he says after he stops laughing is even more unpleasant
………………
Shouto takes the bus back, no one blinks an eye at his roughed-up appearance, and he simply walks to the house unbothered by any well-meaning strangers. He arrives back to meet an increasingly frantic Fuyumi and an only slightly frazzled Natsuo and is kindly informed that he he’d been kidnapped and there was a whole search going on for him. Shouto finds it surprising that Father had informed anyone, and he says so to Fuyumi who pauses checking him over and frowns.
Natsuo interjects at that point and lets him know that his teacher had been the one to inform the authorities after he hadn’t turned up at any of the check points. Shouto nods in response, that was a lot more accurate.
He zones out after that, absently accepting the icepack Fuyumi has handed to him and sits down on the chair to wait.
This he is used to, waiting, waiting and waiting
Shouto simply waits
………………
Shouto is 14 when Izu comes to him with a proposition and a mask
He says yes
Nemesis and Themis are a terror to both villains and heroes alike, Shouto cannot help but revel in it.
He fashions himself wings and flies, high above the corruption and decay of everything, at the right hand of Themis, delivering justice and retribution and for a while he forgets his rage, his anger the deep-seated resentment festering and growing, waiting.
He forgets only for a while
…………………
It’s shocking he has avoided the gaze of Dabi for as long as he has, he tries to forget about the man with the gruesome burn stars and the silver of the staples holding what is left of his skin together, he tries to forget the faint whispers of his rough cruel voice echoing at every reminder, at every glint of silvery metal he sees, he tries to forget those fiery blue eyes reappearing in his dreams, the echoes of his threat haunting him.
Shouto has resigned himself to knowing that he will still eventually be found, and perhaps in a rare feat of naivety he tells himself he has a few years, tells himself that he will grow, and train and when the time eventually comes, he will be able to fight.
Dabi finds him months after his fifteenth birthday
………………
Dabi finds him when he and Themis are separated
So far, it’s been an uneventful night, it’s a hot enough night that no one seems to want to do anything, so they split up for a bit, Themis going to check the few blocks over before they move to patrol another area. He stays behind, gazing watchfully at the city below him, contemplating removing his mask for at least a few seconds, and then he senses it.
The shift of the air would innocuous iifit were not for the temperature shift that comes along with it. Nemesis stiffens, Dabi is here
Nemesis swivels around to face him and there he his, leaning against the penthouse half hidden in the shadows. The glint of the staples against moonlight gives him away. He seems to have deviated from his usual trench coat look, instead shoving his hands into a dark hoodie pulled over his head. Nemesis waits, tense and positioned to fight.
Dabi looks up, piercing blue focused fully on him, He smirks
“I bet Endeavor is real delighted about this “
His tone is light, purposefully innocent, mocking
Nemesis says nothing
“His little hero all grown up and doing his own thing, he must be so proud, isn’t he? “
“Or wait- doesn’t he know? “
“Isn’t he aware of his oh so precious heir being the one and only, the ever elusive, utterly mysterious, Nemesis. His perfect creation being such an infamous and wanted vigilante”
Dabi saunters closer smirking, there is an unhinged look in his eyes, fiery blue focused completely on him
“What? you’ve got nothing to say to me? You were ever so chatty the last time we talked if you recall. And I will have to assume that you do as I believe we had our little discussion, where we came to an agreement “
Shouto takes notice of a quiet rustling sound, one Dabi appears entirely unaware of, as he strolls around the room gesticulating wildly. Shouto stays as he is, out of reach tense and waiting.
Dabi changes tactic’s, he begins to walk towards Shouto, talking all the while
“It seems we are playing the silent game today ‘Nemesis’. That’s all rather unfortunate, I wanted to discuss so many things with you. Although, I do have to wonder how Endeavor will react to who exactly his heir is. Perhaps I should string you and your mask up on top of his Agency for all the world to see. That sounds exciting, doesn’t it? The Number Two Hero’s prized child unmasked as the vigilante Nemesis. I’m sure that –
A high-pitched ringing noise is the only warning given before a flash bomb goes off blinding Dabi for a few seconds. Nemesis who had thrown himself to the ground just in time, rises back to his feet relatively unaffected. He allows himself a small smile, Themis is back
Nemesis scans the area, expecting the subtle glint of Themis’s mouthpiece, instead he finds Themis crouched a few feet away from him, rising from the floor clearly having jumped down from his hiding point. He doesn’t allow himself to dwell on the unusual behaviour instead refocusing his attention on Dabi, who is almost entirely recovered
A flash of blue, Nemesis leaps away dodging the blue flames, throwing up a shield as he does. He comes to a stop next to Themis and there is a pause as they all observe each other.
The villain is smoking, features arranged into a savage sneer. He moves to attack; Nemesis prepares to defend-
“I know who you are “
Everything comes to a halt as the focus diverts to Themis, he doesn’t have his mouthpiece on, his voice to unobscured despite his mask, clear and calm. Nemesis has no idea what he’s talking but Dabi seems to, the sneer shifting into a burning scowl
“What the fuck are you talking about brat-
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know who you are and if you’d like to keep it that way, I’d suggest you take your leave “
There is an undercurrent of steeliness in Themis voice that Nemesis it unused to, it has Dabi bristling “Who the hell do you think you are to try threatening me, you don’t know shit because there isn’t shit to know”
Dabi is near vibrating with fury at this point, and Nemesis wishes Themis would stop riling him up, his wish of course goes unanswered.
“One identity for another Dabi, leave or I will be forced to level the playing field”
Dabi doesn’t bother responding this time, instead he attacks.
Nemesis and Themis fight with impressive fluidly, working together smoothly with practiced ease. However, despite the impressive teamwork, Dabi still has years on them, he is older, easily with more experience, faster, stronger and he fights dirty. Clearly, he has no qualms about what kind of injuries he leaves them with, as villains usually do. Dabi is the sort of villain they usually have back up for but right now they’re alone and beginning to tire, they start to get sloppy.
All the blame falls onto Shouto in this instance, his left foot goes numb as he fails to heat it up quickly enough, he stumbles and trips unable to regain his balance in time to dodge the blue flame thrown at him. His hasty ice shield is the only thing that saves him the blast his him head on, knocking the air out of him and throwing him to the floor.
He lays there gasping for a second before harshly pulling himself back up, forming the next shield, ignoring the growing numbness in his fingers.
Then Themis screams
“TOUYA”
Dabi stumbles and stops entirely, turning wide eyed and frantic to Shouto Nemesis, and in that moment of distraction Themis darts into his space and rips the hood off Dabi’s head.
His hair is……. white
Dabi Touya is all at once now all too familiar and all at once entirely alien to him, but Shouto knows it’s really him in a way he cannot explain
Shouto thinks he might be drowning, Dabi’s stricken look is confirmation enough before it changes into a terrifying snarl before he relaunches his attacks with fervour, Shouto straining to dodge and combat them.
He catches Themis’s eye for a moment, and he signs for Nemesis to run. Nemesis turns and jumps off the roof just in time for another flash bomb to go off. Skidding to a stop off his makeshift slide, he catches the tail end of Touya’s Dabi’s enraged scream as another flash bomb goes off. Nemesis has bought them a few seconds; the fight is sure to have attracted unnecessary attention by now and he has perhaps moments to leave.
Try as he might, he cannot convince himself to go back up there. He can feel the water lapping at his ankles, filling up is lungs, threatening to pull him under
Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi Touya Dabi
Shouto turns and as always, he flees
………………..
Shouto is fifteen when he tries to kill his father again and just about succeeds
…………………..
Dabi is Touya and Shouto can’t breathe
He can’t quite recall how he made his way home when he begins to come to. He’s stood in front of his father’s door, its dark and silent, everyone is asleep. There is a knife in his hands
The slinks into the room, locking the door behind him.
………………….
Enji awakes to an unfamiliar weight of top of him, and the biting cold of what can only be a blade at his neck. He tenses taking care to keep his eyes closed trying to figure out the situation. Whoever is attempting to assassinate him is most definitely an amateur, they have left him entirely unrestrained, the only thing he can in anyway commend them on is getting into his room so easily, but this attempt will be easily foiled. Enji speedily runs through various plans to enact and waits for a simple shift so he can act –
“I know you’re awake, open your eyes I want you to look at me “
His eyes fly open
It’s Shouto
………………
His son has a dagger to his neck and Enji is floored.
…………….
Shouto has a dagger pressed to his Father’s neck
A quick slice would end it all ever so quickly
Shouto has his Fathers life in his hands
He doesn’t want this anymore
…………….
His Father is silent as he stares at him, in his effort to keep the man quiet he has pierced skin. He however shows no awareness of the blood running down his neck.
Shouto has wanted this for so long
He’s five and eleven and thirteen and fifteen and he can’t breathe
Touya is dead and his mom is burning him, and Father is so cruel, and he doesn’t understand
He’s sobbing and screaming and asking why. Why Touya left, why mother did this to him, why is he so cruel and why he can’t breathe
Shouto just wants to understand
He wants, and wants and wants so much he fears that’s all he will ever do
Someone is trying to get the door open, perhaps it is Natsuo or maybe Fuyumi coming to figure out what the noise is all about
Shouto stares at the dagger, warm and familiar in his grasp, his fathers blood drying at the edge
Shouto wants something that his Father will never give him
Shouto leaves, slips out of the room with little fanfare, he doesn’t look back
Enji makes no moves to follow him
……………
Izu finds him as he always does, crouches and crawls into a space too small for both of them now. He sits beside him and says nothing, staring at the faded yellow underside of the slide. For a moment neither of them speaks
“Izuku Midoriya”
Shouto blinks startled “What?”
“That’s my name Izuku Midoriya, you can call me Izuku if you like “
“Oh”
Shouto doesn’t expect that in the slightest and for some reason his throat goes tight with the threat of tears.
“Shouto Todoroki “he croaks out, tamping down the tears as hard as he can
“It’s nice to meet you “Izu, Izuku whispers and Shouto hums in response. It falls quiet once more until haltingly Izuku shuffles himself closer to Shouto and then…., curls up into his side. Shouto stiffens for a few seconds before forcefully relaxing his tensed-up muscles and leaning into the touch as well.
He can feel bulky bandages twisted around various parts of Izuku’s body, guilt twists sour in his stomach, bile rising up his throat
“I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to find out like that honestly “
Suddenly the warm comforting heat of Izuku’s body, becomes scalding and stifling. He catches the automatic reassurances before they leave his mouth because really it isn’t okay.
“How long, have you known., about everything “is what he asks instead, and he can feel Izuku stiffen against him
“I figured out who you were by the second time we met. I’d been investigating Dabi ever since you ran into him the first time, wasn’t entirely sure who he was till today. He confirmed it himself. I planned to tell you once I had concrete evidence. “
“Why did you? … “why did you try to help me, why did you keep coming back, why did you stay, why do you care
Izuku huffs, Shouto can imagine he’s smiling at him though it too dark to tell
“Because you looked like you needed help and that’s what heroes are supposed to do right? They help the best they can, above and beyond. Plus, Ultra! “Izuku adds a little cheer at the end and then whispers so softly he almost misses it
“And because I care”
“Oh “Shouto says just as quietly
“Izu”
“Yeah Sho”
“Thank you” for staying, for coming back, for caring
Izuku hums in reply and as they sit together watching the sunrise, Shouto cries and thinks that at least for a little while everything will be ok.