Chapter Text
Sue stares Johnny down across the table.
Johnny stares back.
He feels anger under his skin. It's a familiar feeling. Johnny has always been quick to it. He's always been hot-headed, although now it's quite a much more literal thing and if he doesn't focus on stamping it down it has a tendency to-
A fire briefly flickers across his palm so he tightens his fist to quiet it. Sue definitely sees it because her lips tighten, and he can hear her words before she even says them.
Johnny, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
A moment passes. She's about to say the words, Johnny knows it, and then Franklin begins to cry in the other room and Sue immediately whips her head around towards the nursery- head drawn to it like it's a beacon. Johnny can see the moments that she gives in, knowing that their argument would have to take a rain check.
Sue sighs, and stands so she can go and take care of her kid. However, before she heads down the hall, she points a finger at Johnny and says, firmly, "Stay there. You're not getting out of this."
Johnny nods.
As soon as he can hear the sound of the nursery door creaking open, Johnny is out of his chair and heading for the kitchen door.
He can hear Ben, the man is standing somewhere by the fridge, "Kid-"
"I'm going to be back," Johnny tells him. "In a couple hours."
An abnormally large, rocky hand lands on his shoulder. Johnny tries not to let the expression of guilt and pity that it evokes show. Ben could no longer go out in public, which was an option Johnny still had, and meanwhile Johnny was moping and he was the one trying to help.
"She's just lookin' out for you," Ben says.
Johnny shrugs him off. Johnny's face darkens, the fire grows over his hand and then disappears. He's shaking, trying to hold it back, but he has just been told something that he didn't want to hear and it's hard. "I know."
Franklin's crying slowly starts to die down, and then it quiets to a few hiccups.
Ben goes to grab him again, but only half-heartedly. Out of everyone, he's the most forgiving. He doesn't say anything when he catches Johnny (more than once) sneaking back into the house.
Ben doesn't stop him. Johnny hurries out of the kitchen before Sue can get back.
-
Johnny returns a couple hours later. He's a little bit high and a little bit drunk but not enough of either for it to improve his mood- just make his words a little sloppier and a little meaner.
He hadn't even done anything interesting while he was out. There's no parties here. There's no clubs. He went to an arcade, which is the only hang out place that isn't a dive bar or ski lodge in this nowhere mountain town Reed moved them to. It's nice because of pacman and they fact that they don't check IDs and the cute girl manning the counter lets Johnny bum cigarettes off of her.
"Johnny," Reed calls him in as Johnny tries and fails to quietly stumble past his office.
"I'm going," Johnny tells the stern-looking Reed.
"Absolutely not," Reed says.
"Absolutely yes," Johnny counters.
Reed looks small in the cardigan and loafers and mean lighting of his lab. He's tall, and he's always been scrawny but Johnny thinks he must've gotten scrawnier recently. "Why don't you just listen sometimes Johnny?"
Johnny scoffs. "I listen all the time," he shakes his head. "But you can't ruin my life."
Reed fingers an edge of his cardigan, the wool is stretched in that one spot because he does it so much. He pulls the cardigan closed across his chest like he's cold. "You will ruin your life if you go."
"You can't stop me, man," Johnny says, very sure sounding except for the occasional drunk stutter. "I mean you can- you can fucking try. Like, you can fucking lock me up, throw away the key."
Reed gives him the same disappointed look Sue made earlier. No wonder they got married, they even make the same faces. She seems to have always had more in common with her husband than with her brother. She had never been a loser like Johnny.
"Johnny, I don't want to stop you," Reeds says. He sounds so honest that it hurts. "I just want you to be safe."
Johnny drags a hand down his face. Hard. Harder than he means to, he knows he looks drunk. "It's always my safety, huh?" He asks, "You and fucking Sue and my safety- what about my sanity? If I stay here I'm going to go crazy. And I will literally hate you- all of you. I will hate you for the rest of my life."
"It's not that I don't want you to go," Reed tries.
"Fuck, Reed, so help me then," Johnny says. He's not begging, but he kind of wants to because this is important, and his emotions have always been so unmanageable and right now they're so big he can't contain them. Like they'll explode. Combust. Kablooey.
"Help me," Johnny repeats. "You're the genius. So, instead of being- being so mean, help me out."
He wants to go so bad. Wants a life. His own life- not their life. He needs it.
"I-" Reed's expression softens. "I can try."
Johnny's heart expands, and the feelings feel a little tidier and more manageable. A glimmer of hope, it straightens him out.
-
They tell him not to go to college.
Johnny is going to go to college.
His scholarship can pay a decent portion of the tuition but all of it because NYU is a ridiculous kind of expensive. Luckily, it's an expensive he can afford- he'll pay the rest of the cost back to Sue with his inheritance when he's twenty-one and can access it. The money was one of the only useful things his father ever left him (Besides, well, Sue, but that was more his mother's doing. His father just managed not to kill her too.) And Johnny was going to use it.
Johnny isn't rich, but his parents were, and Reed and Ben and Sue are, and he's going to take advantage of it until he doesn't have to anymore.
It's not like Sue is going to cut him off when he goes. But the leash on his budget will grow tight, in other ways. Groceries. The like. He thinks his living conditions will be small and dirty and flame retardant and isolated.
He's still going.
It's a dangerous idea for him to go. To leave the safety of Reed's enforced solitude.
He's still going.
Since he left all he has wanted is to just… be in New York again. If running away again is what it takes Johnny will do it. New York is. Johnny wants to be. Maybe he'll even run into a superhero, preferably Spider-Man It is the one dream he still has.
-
In the end, Reed helps. Johnny gets fireproofed everything packed up into the trunk of a fireproofed car. Some of it Johnny already had, some of it was a half -finished scrap pile propelled into existence by the sudden deadline of his move in date. Some of it Reed cooks up just for his new place. There are several fire extinguishers and a spray for his carpet.
Johnny doesn't know how Reed actually made it all, but he's still grateful for the man's efforts. He's grateful enough that even as Reed explains each item, and its particular johnny-proof feature, flies over his head, he doesn't call Reed a nerd once. He's that grateful. Not grateful enough to listen intently and understand what he's saying, but grateful.
All his family members were too smart for him, except for Franklin, but Franklin was less than a year old so he didn't count. Anyways, Johnny had a sneaking suspicion that in seven or so years, Franklin was going to be smarter than him too. Not in life, but potential. At least Johnny is used to being the dumb one in the family. He doesn't know why he got into NYU.
Reed's addition of an expanded wardrobe is a nice touch. The NYU sweater is really touching and he tears up a bit.
It isn't Johnny's idea to make it into a road trip, but Reed and Sue look happy to do it (too fucking happy God damn it), so he gives in. Ben stays behind, offering to look after Franklin, even though Reed said they could make it work.
Sometimes, Johnny hates Reed. His optimism, despite his genius, his nice, amenable grins, the way shit doesn't seem to bother him, and he takes everything with so much strength and maturity and calm. Sometimes it makes Johnny want to scream just looking at his face.
Then Sue and him will do something cute. They'll look into each other's eyes. Or say something so sweet it makes Johnny gag.
Or, then Reed will tell Johnny that he's doing great. That he's proud of Johnny. And Reed, the gentle-natured, but firm man that has slotted himself firmly into their life in a way that makes it feel more whole, will remind Johnny of a dad he never really had.
Then Johnny will realize that Reed is good. So good. And Johnny will feel a bit of shame well up in his stomach about how much he hates the guy.
("It'll be fun, kiddo!" Reed says. And then like the old man he is, he says, "We'll make a day of it!"
"You're making a week out of it," Johnny huffs. He crams an end table into the trunk with more force than necessary. "That's what you're doing."
"It'll be good we're going to Kansas City, St. Louis," Reed sounds so excited, "Oh, Pittsburgh!"
"Yeah and staying right outside of them, observing at a safe distance," Johnny says, mocking Reed's words from earlier that day. "Just keep digging Reed. It's not like I have a choice to get out of the hole."
Reed looks hurt.
Reed, true to his word, practically drags them through the states. He makes an itinerary, and organizes it in a binder that Johnny considers burning to a crisp. He doesn't, Reed.
It is by no means a good trip, Reed and Johnny fight a lot, but Sue seems happy. She frets about Franklin, sure, keeps calling Ben every ten minutes to make sure everything is okay, but she seems happy just to be out. Johnny can't remember the last time she'd been so loud, and full of energy.
("Look! Look!" Sue points out the window towards a field of cows. It's literally just a field of cows, but she's so, so excited about it. "They're so cute! Oh look- that one is a baby!")
So he keeps his mouth shut.
As much as he can.
They arrive in New York in the morning, officially finish the paperwork with the grumpy Russian landlord, and then move everything they packed up into the apartment. It's a shitty, shitty place, that's farther off campus than he wants, and way too small. But, there were no roommates, no gas stoves, and Johnny could get a top floor apartment (all requirements outlined by Reed), and it was as cheap as he could get actually in Manhattan without it being dangerous.
They go furniture shopping. There's not enough space for everything Johnny wants, but they get an ikea desk and chair crammed up against the window. Reed coats the surface of the desk with something, and then fits the chair with a slipcover of sorts (Johnny feels the annoyance claw at his brain at all of Reed's nervous precautions, but no fire comes with the frustration to prove Reed right so that's okay). His new bed- no longer a queen, but a full- gets the same treatment.
Johnny tells them he wants to unpack the rest himself. He doesn't, really, but he's eager to kick them out and to be alone for a while. He's exhausted from days of driving and making idle conversation with his family he knows too well to make idle conversation with.
Thankfully, they listen to his wishes.
Sue rolls up on her toes and gives him a fat kiss on his cheek. "Your first night alone," She says, her hands on his shoulders. She has to raise them high to reach him now. "How are you feeling? We can stay if you need."
Johnny shakes his head. He wants to be alone.
"I feel good," Johnny says. "Really good."
The door clicks shut behind Sue and Reed with a lot less fanfare than expected and then Johnny is left alone in his new place.
Then, he…
He doesn't know what to do with himself.
-
Johnny aimlessly paces around his apartment. Takes in all of the places that the landlord painted over something he wasn't supposed to. Five
He unpacks half of his kitchen stuff, and half of his clothes, but finishes neither task. He makes his bed, and then spreads out some knick knacks on his desk in no particular fashion. There's still things he needs to buy.
Johnny doesn't get very far along before he's leaving. Buying more pillows, and a set of curtains, and all the skincare products he left at home are not actually dire needs but he's bored.
He opens his door right into someone.
Or, he's about to. They effortlessly sidestep the oncoming obstacle, flattening against the opposite wall in the narrow hallway and moving around it.
"Woah, sorry," Johnny blurts out. "Didn't know you were there."
He gets a good-natured laugh in return. "You're fine," it's a nice voice, peppy and wry at the same time, "It's not your fault . How were you supposed to know I'm there?"
The voice is pleasant, and young. Johnny looks at the person he almost hit, and-
He's pretty.
No, he's, like, gorgeous. Straight up. That kind of gorgeous that is… Johnny's thing. (And, unfortunately, Sue's as well. It's a Storm thing, he supposes. Or maybe it's just good taste. That wind-blown hair, nice smile, nerdy but cute kind of disposition. Although thinking about the Freudian kind of shit implied in the fact that Reed would be his type if he wasn't married to Sue, and so much older, is… yeah. Johnny doesn't want to do that. He'd so much rather pay attention to the guy in front of him.)
Tousled brown hair, grown out just long enough that it curls around his ears and the top of his neck. Kind eyes. Good, handsome features. Johnny can't help but flick his eyes downwards and see a layer of muscle hidden behind a too big t-shirt with some kind of math equation on the front. It's probably funny to anyone who actually understands math.
"You're right," Johnny says. "I'm still sorry, I'll try not to kill you next time I'm leaving."
"I think it'll take a lot more than that to kill me," Peter jokes. "But you can try. Give me a good concussion at least."
He hasn't gotten to flirt with anyone in a long time. Much social interaction at all, really. It's like he can feel the thick rust in his brain as the gears turn.
"So, you live here?" Johnny asks.
The man looks surprised that Johnny is stopping to talk, but he nods. This time to Johnny's surprise, a finger points to a door one down from the one they're standing at. "Right next door. I, uh, guess we're neighbors now."
"I guess so," Johnny can feel his heartbeat thrum with excitement because no, New York is not going to be what he wanted, but at least his neighbor is really, really cute.
Johnny stupid romantic brain already running through all the scenarios he could make possible. Johnny borrowing kitchen supplies, Johnny running into him in the hallway, in the elevator, in the lobby, his neighbor playing loud music and Johnny coming over to tell him to stop and then it escalates and they're kissing and- "I'm Johnny. Just moved in."
Sexy neighbor smiles. It's shy, but earnest. "I'm Peter, it's nice to meet you."
Johnny grins back. "Any advice for a new tenant?" He asks. He knows the question is lame, but it's the only thing he can think of to extend the interaction.
Peter shrugs. "Uh, well, don't piss off Dikovitch- the landlord. Seriously, he will kick you out, I've seen him do it. I know he's nice, somewhere on the inside, and he'll extend rent if you've got a relationship with him, but it's buried real deep in there. Also, he says that there's a late night maintenance number, but it's not real. I've never gotten it to work. So just try and make sure everything in your place is working, before it's two AM and your place is flooding and no one will fix it until eight."
"You sound like you have experience," Johnny says.
"Well," The man looks a little sheepish, "Yeah. One time, got back at like three in the morning, and my heater was broken. I actually thought I was going to die, wore like three jackets to sleep."
"Ouch," Johnny hisses sympathetically. "Well, hey, if winter rolls around and we don't hate each other's guts yet, you're free to come over when you need a working heater."
Peter's smile grows a little wider, if a little shocked. He's obviously taken aback now and Johnny wonders if the offer was too much. "I-uh. Thanks. I guess… Same here. You can come over, like, if it's cold and your heater breaks and all that."
Relief washes over him. That was a good sign, right?
Deciding that Peter offering to have him over was totally a good sign, Johnny finally steps out of his apartment, and lets his door close behind him.
For a moment they stand right next to each other in the hallway. Peter's quite a bit shorter than him, and skinnier, but he's by no means scrawny. Johnny can see the way the lean muscles of his shoulder slide underneath fabric. Hidden beneath the size of the clothing, like Peter doesn't want them to be seen, but definitely there.
Bad Johnny. Bad. Stop looking at the nice man's shoulders.
"Well, I'm looking forward to being neighbors," Johnny says. "And I'll try my best not to hit you with a door."
Peter takes Johnny's movement as a cue to leave, but as he fishes for the keys in his pockets he looks over his shoulder. The other guy bites his lip, and seems to hesitate but eventually says the final word just as Johnny starts to lock his door.
"Me too," Peter says, shyly. "To both. Nice to meet you, Johnny," Then disappears through his door.
Johnny loves New York.
-
Johnny is giddy the entire evening. He just can't stop thinking about the fact that he's in New York. He hasn't been in New York for two years, and before that, he hadn't been there since he was six. But now he's alone in New York. He has an apartment. Alone. In New York.
As Johnny walks around the city, he relishes in the sight of every street sign, and street food cart, and, just, everything else that is so ridiculously romanticized about the place. Couples sitting in diners. Coffee shops. The bustling crowds. Street performers. There's a drum circle that he passes by, and drops a five dollar bill into an upturned tambourine. They play him a solo.
He buys himself an exorbitant amount of Chinese to celebrate the occasion, and plays that Seinfeld episode, the one where they can't get a table at the Chinese restaurant- classic fucking New York- over in his head as he does it. He ends up stupidly grinning through mouthfuls of lo mein and egg rolls and duck, making pleasant conversation with the waitress.
Later that night he ducks down into the subway just to take a look, because he has yet to be down there, and snaps pictures of some cool graffiti with his phone.
He wanders in and out of stores and bodegas. Across streets. There is no route, or reason. He is just grateful for the fact that there's actually activity around him.
People.
Things happening.
He missed that.
He looks like a tourist, oohing and aahing over every little thing, he knows that, but he doesn't care, and he realizes quickly that nobody else does ether. That was a stereotype about New York that seemed true, and Johnny decided he liked it.
Nobody even really looks at him, except for the waitress at the Chinese restaurant, and the girl at the grocery store who compliments his jacket.
Yeah, his good mood is exponentially bolstered by the fact that no one here has recognized him yet. He's invisible in a good way. Five years of radio silence and puberty have done him some good. No one spares him a second glance. It is not a forgotten invisible but a mysterious one.
He returns to his apartment still riding through the high of it. He's got a couple bags of apartment supplies looped on one arm, and some groceries on the other. The plastic handles of the bags look like they're close to breaking by the time he actually gets to his door, and he makes a note to himself to buy some reusable ones that can hold up to the trek.
A trek will be making often.
Because he's in New York.
This is his apartment. He's here. He's here.
He's here.
-
Reed and Sue delay their leaving as long as they can. Or, Sue does. Reed does it a bit at first, but then the anxiety about catching their flight has him antsy, trying to rush Sue out the door.
She doesn't listen. She is looking through Johnny's things, organizing his closet, stacking his few dishes in the kitchen cabinets. She doesn't stop talking for hours: you need this, you need that, I like the curtains you bought, good taste, make sure you always do this, this is how you clean the toilet correctly, this is how you do laundry, make sure to clean under the oven hood, sometimes people don't think about the oven hood-
"We will miss our flight," Reed repeats. Again.
Sue sighs. "Yeah, I know," She agrees, glancing over at Johnny. It's a sad look. Longing. She's not crying, but her face is beginning to grow pink, her words are getting stuck in her throat. "And I have to get back to Frankie."
They hug. All of them.
Johnny even hugs Reed.
He gets a firm pat on the back and a teary-eyed goodbye from the usually composed man. "Be safe, kiddo," Reed says, another firm pat. "That's all I care about."
"I love you Reed," Johnny means it. "I'll miss you."
Sue's hug is still better. Johnny doesn't want her to let go. Not really.
"Call," She says, her voice a little unsteady, but not breaking yet. "As much as you can. I want to know everything."
Johnny buries his head into her shoulder. Thinks about all the times she has held him before. She still uses the same shampoo from when she was thirteen- she smells lemons.
"You're going to visit right?" He asks.
She runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it down, working through a tangle even though he'd brushed his hair that morning. "Oh honey," she coos, "All the time."