Work Text:
You're a little drunk, something that's kind of common these days.
You're a little drunk at Patty's house, which is still a bit unusual.
And you're playing with her hair, which is something you've never done before.
Specifically with the pink streaks, rolling and unrolling them in your fingers, creating palettes of black and pink against your skin.
A voice in your head that sounds a lot like your mother's says it's immature for a woman over thirty to have pink streaks in her hair. But there is a second voice that says it’s cool. And a third one that talks about how you never had the courage to dye your hair an unusual color when you were young and it would be more socially acceptable to do so. You think of yourself with pink or teal hair as a mermaid in a cartoon.
If you did it now, even if it looked good, you would probably feel a little ridiculous. You feel much older than you look. Or maybe just tired.
And you still don't have the guts to do most of the things you want to do.
You thought Patty would tell you to stop playing with her hair as soon as she noticed, but so far she hasn't.
You're not that good at predicting her behavior, and most of the things you've learned about her in the last few months are things you wouldn't have imagined before. For example, you are still surprised by the amount of books she has in her house.
“Did you really read all these books?” You ask.
"No, they're just for decoration."
“Oh, huh-”
“That was a joke Allison. I think I must have read half, or maybe two thirds of them, I'm not sure, I never counted.”
“It's still a lot. The book you lent me was the first I've finished in years. I usually start off excited, but then a bunch of things to do appear so I stop reading, and I swear it's only going to be for a few days, but then in the next few days another thousand things to do appear, and I can only pick the book back a month later and at this point I realize that I've already forgotten most of the plot and characters so I end up letting go.”
“But what did you think of the book you managed to finish?”
“I'm not sure, it's beautifully written, but it left me with a bad feeling at the end. I wanted a happy ending for the characters, something beyond death and pain.”
"Maybe I should have loaned you something different, John Steinbeck tends to be pretty depressing in general."
“Before this one from him I had only read Of Mice and Men in high school like everyone else does.”
"Not everyone, I'm sure your husband and my brother never read it."
"They don't count."
"Next time I'll lend you something happier, maybe something by P.G. Wodehouse, his books also tend to be short, but overall they're funny and everything ends well in the end."
"I would like that."
Patty smiles at you for a second, then picks up the bottle of wine and drinks some more. And you stare at her lips around the bottle and you wonder if she'd let you kiss her.
You think she might, but you don't move because if you're wrong you could risk losing her. And because you've already made her life too complicated. And because you're still a coward.
“Hand me the bottle, please?” You ask.
She gives you the wine and you drink it by placing your lips where hers were a few seconds before.
And you keep playing with her hair.