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Shawn would like to think it was going the way it goes in the movies, where the guy soothes the girl all casually and calmly, impressing and wooing her with his incredible ability to stay cool in the face of unimaginable horror.
Maybe the guy would loop his arm around her shoulder, and she’d be all giggles and ‘wow, you’re so brave’s, or maybe ‘Shawn, you’re so handsome and cool and awesome, and we should definitely go out sometime!’
There were just a few hitches to his little fantasy.
Firstly, and less importantly, the girl is actually a very handsome and brooding guy. One detective Carlton Lassiter, to be exact. Shawn figures that gender didn’t particularly matter for the wooing method.
The second, and much more substantial issue, was that instead of being all calm and confident, Shawn was one second away from having a heart attack, and almost on the verge of tears at this point. He wasn’t particularly sad, it was just a fear response. Instead of fight-or-flight, Shawn just happened to have break-down-sobbing-or-flight.
Plus, Lassie was very not scared, which sort of defeated the whole purpose of the tactic in the first place.
Instead of seeming concerned at all, he was calmly snacking on his raisins without a care in the world.
The raisins were also an issue, because craisins were clearly superior, but that was an issue for another time, when Shawn wasn’t terrified beyond wits end.
The actor on screen takes a knife to the face and Shawn winces. Lassie glances over at him, all spookily calm and unfazed, and mouths, ‘too scary?’
Shawn can’t quite tell if it’s a challenge or a genuine question. Probably because he wasn’t actually speaking and it was nearly pitch black in the theater. Even in optimal lighting, Shawn doesn’t think he’d be able to tell, he’s so on end.
“Me? Oh no I’m fine this is great, I’m all good,” Shawn whispers, furiously determined to pull off what he and Gus had dubbed the ‘scary-movie-impress-woo-romantic-super-epic-awesome-plan’ (admittedly not the most creative of names) successfully. “It’s just- y’know, her eyes were very nice and I’ll bet she really rather liked seeing with them, and-”
Lassie rolls his eyes and turns away, and it’s pretty hard to tell if it was a ‘shut up moron’ sort of eye roll or an ‘okay, okay I get it’ eye roll, of which Shawn had noticed he was getting much more of lately.
Tilting back in his chair, Lassie casually drapes his arm over the back of Shawns chair, just brushing against his shoulders. Leaning back, Shawn decides he rather likes the warmth of Lassie’s arm against his neck.
It’s nice, he decides. And kind of sweet, that he would do that, maybe even romantic, and-
“You’re pulling the scary-movie-impress-woo-romantic-super-epic-awesome-plan on me!” He hisses, pulling forwards and turning to give Lassie a glare. “How dare you?!”
Lassie looks startled, almost like a deer caught in headlights. Gus, one row ahead, turns around to hiss, “shush, Shawn!”, as though there were a full theater full of people he was disturbing, when in reality it was just four of them, Shawn, Gus, Jules and of course Lassie.
“That’s my signature move!” Shawn whispers furiously after Gus seems less like an annoyed movie-goblin. Lassie blinks. “I’m- I’m supposed to do that!” Shawn adds, to really drive the point home that Lassie had just stolen his very unique plan that he and he alone had come up with, to be used exclusively by him.
Lassie narrows his eyes, and Shawn almost worries he’s scared him off, before he says in a very quiet, almost challenging tone, “dunno, you look a little too scared to pull it off fully.”
Shawn fakes a gasp, almost entirely ignoring as someone gets their intestines strung out in the background. Really, it wasn’t really the gore that bothered him, it was more so the whole, ‘mangling in a way where you lose a vital sense” sort of thing- Shawn could live without a leg or two, but without his eyesight, or hearing? No sirree, count him out.
“I’m not too-'' Before he can get the sentence out, he’s distracted by the movie, where one of the victims was currently… digging their fingers into the killers eye sockets.
While, technically, Shawn did scream (just a little!) it was mostly impossible to discern between his yell and Gus’ scream.
Burying his face against Lassie’s chest, Shawn can feel the detective shake with silent laughter. “Not funny!” Shawn mumbles, even though it sort of was.
“Right, maybe a little funny?” Lassie counters, careful to keep his voice to a hush so as not to annoy Gus any further.
Shawn considers it as Lassie gently drapes an arm around his shoulder, just light enough that Shawn could shake him off if he wanted. Still pressed up against his chest, Shawn can feel Lassie’s heart beat picking up.
“Just a little.” Shawn finally answers, deciding to let Lassie’s arm be.
He supposes it doesn’t really matter which side initiates the ‘scary-movie-impress-woo-romantic-super-epic-awesome-plan’, because the results usually went the same either way.