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“Stupid fucking pile of moss,” Sanji growls, trying to light his cigarette. “ Don’t worry, I’ll be right back, he says– yeah , and I’m the next fucking pirate king, sure you will, Zoro.”
Sanji has somehow lost Zoro in this island’s marketplace, despite seeing him only a few minutes ago. He had not intended for this grocery trip to turn into a scavenger hunt, but here is, wandering up and down aisles of stalls looking for any sign of green or stupid.
He stares woefully at the rows of fresh fruits and vegetables he has to leave behind now that his resident pack mule has up and disappeared. Some of the vendors have even decided to close up shop for the day, the sun falling in the sky as the evening drags on. By the time Sanji’s able to track down Zoro, and give him a thorough talking to on the dangers of wandering off, of course, it might be too late to buy anything else. He would be sure to point Luffy to Zoro when he complains about his smaller than normal dinner portions.
Sanji stomps down another row of closing stores, crossing his arm with a huff. Not here either. He’s beginning to think he’ll have to walk back to the Sunny to recruit a larger search party. Residing himself to check just one more street, Sanji turns the corner, only to immediately stop in his tracks. Finally– a familiar patch of green, hiding in an alleyway.
Sanji takes in a deep breath, fully prepared to give Zoro the full extent of his anger–and worry–but what he sees completely drains the rage from his body. He stills, trying his best not to alert Zoro to his presence.
Zoro is crouched down in front of a cat with a happy grin. The cat is currently weaving itself in and out of Zoro’s legs, rubbing along his boots. Zoro doesn’t look the least bit perturbed. He would even go as far as to say the swordsman looks excited.
Sanji clutches a hand to his chest. Quite frankly, he has never seen something so cute in his life. Zoro looks utterly at peace, a soft smile on his face as he whispers to the cat at his feet. The scene is so domestic and kind, something any outsider would never expect from a man like Zoro. Suddenly it’s as if nothing else matters, grocery list be damned. Sanji has to shake himself out of it as he begins imagining what dish a cat would like best, and the different ways he could prepare it.
He swears he can feel his heart expand in his chest as he watches how sweet Zoro is being. Zoro generally exhibits a quiet indifference to most animals they find on their adventures, but apparently he likes cats.
And, strangely enough, cats seem to like him just as much.
Zoro runs a gentle hand along the flat of the cat’s back, swiping a hand up its tail, which is held high in the air. Sanji can hear the cat meowing happily from here, looking up at Zoro contentedly. As he moves his hand up to scratch under the cat’s chin, it raises two paws to rest on Zoro’s knee, pushing its head further into his hand. Zoro makes a soft cooing sound and scoops the cat up into his arms. And holy shit, Sanji doesn’t think he’s ever been as in love with Zoro as he is at this moment.
Sanji watches as Zoro retreats somewhat into the alley behind him, cat cradled securely in his arms, and plops down on the ground. He sets the cat in the center of his crossed legs, who meows happily at the change in position. The cat spins around once, twice, before curling up right there. entedly. Zoro’s hand never leaves the cat’s fur as the two of them fall asleep together.
Sanji stands there, watching them for a bit, a fond smile on his face. He feels a bit heartbroken to have to break them up, but the sun is setting. They have to get back to the Sunny for dinner, or Luffy might just start a mutiny on deck.
He steps over quietly, carefully trying not to disturb the cat purring peacefully on Zoro’s lap. It looks so small, her legs curled underneath her as sleeps. Its fluffy fur is white with patches of color, a few patches of hair missing here and there. It’s small, but at least looks decently well-fed for a street cat. It sort of reminds Sanji of the stray cats he would leave scraps for when his father wasn’t looking. At least someone out there is caring for it. As he reaches over to wake Zoro, the cat opens one eye, notably missing the other. He mouths an ‘ I’m sorry’ to it, and the cat nestles its head into Zoro’s chest in clear disinterest.
“Hey,” Sanji says quietly, shaking Zoro’s shoulder. “Zoro? Rise and shine, mossy.”
Slowly blinking awake, Zoro stares up at Sanji in confusion. “Huh? Morning?”
“More like evening. You fell asleep out here with it,” Sanji explains, pointing down at the cat still nestled in Zoro’s lap.
“It’s she,” Zoro frowns up at him.
“What?” Sanji asks, tilting his head to the side.
“She’s a she , and her name is Kitty…uh, tetsu. Kittytetsu. The third.”
Sanji puts his hands up in surrender. “I can admit when I’m wrong. It’s never my intention to offend such a lovely lady,” Sanji says sweetly. “Give her here, let me see.”
Zoro looks a bit hesitant about handing his new friend over, but he allows Sanji to crouch down and hold out his arms to her.
“Come here sweet little girl,” Sanji coos. The cat sniffs his outstretched hand, before hopping down from Zoro’s lap to circle around Sanji’s legs. She meows as she rubs her face against his leg.
Satisfied with her acceptance of him, Sanji bends down to scoop Kittytetsu into his arms. “Aw, aren’t you just the cutest little baby? Yes you are, you are, I could just eat you right up,” Sanji swoons, kissing the top of her head.
Zoro finally stands with a huff, wiping his hands on the back of his pants. “You’re insufferable. Don’t talk to her like that, she doesn’t like it,” he complains, holding his arms out in an attempt to rescue her from Sanji’s baby talk.
Sanji turns, clutching the cat to his chest. “She does like it, don’t you, mademoiselle?” Sanji scratches the top of her head, to accentuate his point.
“You’re just jealous, Zoro,” Sanji sighs, rolling his eyes. “Isn’t that right, kitty? Big ol’ stinky Zoro is jealous of us, yes he is.”
“Hey! I had her first anyway. Give her back, stupid cook,” Zoro makes another grab for the cat. Sanji lets him take her this time. He blames his heart, too weak to withstand how adorable Zoro is being about this.
“Sorry about him, Kittytetsu. He means well,” Zoro says, carefully smoothing down her fur.
“There you go, now you look menacing. Ready to kill,” Zoro says with a smirk. He holds up one of her paws and swipes at the air. She only meows in response, rubbing her head against his chest.
Sanji clears his throat to get Zoro’s attention. “Not to interrupt your pirate recruitment process, but we have quite a few groceries to take home,” Sanji says, gesturing to the stack of boxes behind him.
“Alright,” Zoro sighs, looking back down at the cat in his arms. “Kitty, I’m gonna put you in here now, okay? Gotta carry some stuff, but don’t worry, you’ll be safe in here.”
Zoro adjusts his belly warmer to make room for Kittytetsu, tucking her in until she’s secure, tightening the sash around his waist to hold her up. She struggles a bit at first, but once she’s situated, she settles in for a nap against Zoro’s stomach.
Zoro smiles down at her, gently patting her head. He gives Sanji a thumbs up, clearly satisfied with himself, and makes work at gathering the groceries.
“My God, you’re so embarrassing, I can’t take you anywhere,” Sanji groans, walking ahead of the pair with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He turns quickly so Zoro doesn’t see the blush growing on his cheeks. It’s so frustratingly adorable Sanji has to kick a trash can in the alleyway.
“Don’t listen to him, Kitty, he’s an asshole, but he means well,” Zoro explains to the cat purring against him.
“Alright, alright, enough shit talking with the cat, we have to get the rest of our groceries before all the shops close,” Sanji says, dragging Zoro through the rest of the marketplace. They make quick work of it, though Sanji can’t say he’s overjoyed with the way some of the ladies they pass by swoon over Zoro and his cat.
“Oh my, you’re just so handsome,” a woman says, petting the cat tucked into Zoro’s waistband. Her fingers graze Zoro’s chest a bit, and Sanji grabs his shoulder, pulling his boyfriend away. That’s enough of that.
“I’m so sorry, mademoiselle, we really must be going now, adieu,” Sanji says quickly, struggling to hide the frustration in his voice. He flashes her a strained smile as he drags Zoro down the street. They stop at a street corner, thankfully free of any of Zoro’s adoring fans.
Zoro flashes him a smug grin. “You alright there, cook? You seemed a little…”
Sanji slaps a hand over Zoro’s mouth. “Nope, no, no. You see this? This is me, not listening. I can’t hear you.”
Zoro holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine, my bad. It’s okay to be jeal–”
“Zoro! We have more important things to discuss right now. Like–uh, what are we going to do with your little friend here?” Sanji asks, quickly changing the subject. He points at Kittytetsu, who has perked her head up at all the commotion.
“I think your jealousy woke her up,” Zoro sighs. He pats her head softly. “There, there, go back to sleep– yes, he is always like this, how did you know?”
Sanji crosses his arms across his chest. “I don’t like these secret conversations you two seem to be having.”
Zoro laughs, and Sanji feels betrayed by the way his heart skips a beat at the sound. This whole experience has been hell on his poor soul. Nothing that big and green should be that adorable.
“Jealous of a cat now, curly? A new low, it’s a shame really,” Zoro says, shaking his head.
“You shut your mouth, Zoro,” Sanji groans. He bends down to the cat’s eye level, scratching under her chin. “Don’t believe a word this man says, madame. I am nothing but a perfect gentleman.” The cat only meows in response.
“I think she just called you a dork, actually,” Zoro says sagely.
“Well, this dork wants to know what we’re going to do with her now. Could you translate that, oh wise animal whisperer?” Sanji says, rolling his eyes.
Zoro almost looks disappointed, as if he forgot they would eventually have to leave her behind. Sanji can almost hear his own heart shatter into pieces with the way Zoro looks down at his cat, solemnly scratching her head with one finger.
Sanji reaches up to rub Zoro’s shoulder. “I know. I wish we could bring her too, she’s a sweetheart.”
“It’s okay, I knew we’d have to leave her here,” Zoro sighs. “The ocean is no place for cats.”
He looks down at her again, before his eyes widen. Zoro looks up at Sanji expectantly, as if his boyfriend already knows what he’s thinking.
“Don’t give me that look, you know I can’t say no when you make that face,” Sanji groans.
Sanji never stood a chance anyway. Which is how he finds himself carrying a cat-sized bento back to the alleyway where Zoro found Kittytetsu. Behind him, Zoro carries Kittytetsu in a leftover crate from storage with some of Sanji’s old kitchen towels haphazardly lumped in the bottom. He walks slowly, careful not to disturb her new home.
They reach the alley before too long, and Sanji makes work preparing her dinner table. He lays down an old towel, arranging her bento of local fish, chicken and other cat-safe foods and a small bowl of water.
“Don’t even say it. If I’m going to cook for a cat, she’ll at least have the proper table setting, you mannerless brute,” Sanji says, cracking a few raw eggs over her sliced chicken.
Zoro is too busy setting down the crate he’s holding to reply. Once the crate is safely on the ground, he picks Kittytetsu up and deposits her on the ground next to him. She proceeds to weave herself around his legs before wandering over to Sanji and sniffing at the food he’s laid out. Zoro sets about organizing the blankets into a bundle resembling a sort of nest for her.
“Just a moment, dear, I’m almost finished,” Sanji says gently pushing her towards her new home while he finishes the final touches of her meal. She sniffs at the blankets, pawing at them tentatively. Eventually, she seems to approve, shoving her head into the blankets happily. Her attention quickly turns back to the smell of food, and she stalks over to her makeshift dinner table.
After she finishes eating, Kittytetsu makes her way over to Zoro, pawing at his legs until he picks her up. He holds her close, scratching her chin and around her ears. He presses a quick kiss to her cheek before setting her down in her little crate and crouching beside her.
“Don’t forget everything I’ve taught you, Kittytetsu,” Zoro says, reaching in to pat her back. “You’re going to live the best cat life ever, all nine of ‘em.”
Sanji stops himself from explaining to Zoro that cats don’t really have nine lives, too heartbroken by the sad smile on his face. They sit there for a few extra minutes, the soft rumble of purring the only sound in the alleyway.
Eventually, they have to get up to leave, the two saying their final goodbyes to Kittytetsu. Zoro ruffles the fur atop her head one last time. As his hand leaves her head, she blinks up at him, as if she understands.
Sanji gives her one last look before turning forward to lead Zoro back to the Sunny. He hooks a pinky around Zoro’s as they walk. He wraps his hand fully around Sanji’s in response, tangling their fingers together.
“There really is no one like you, Zoro,” Sanji whispers, squeezing Zoro’s hand in his own. They walk back home hand in hand, swathed in moonlight. Behind them, Kittytetsu has the best night’s sleep of her life.