Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sehnsucht - yearning, wistful longing

Preachers preach of a love freely given by the deities that created us. Families preach of a love kindled from mothers to their children and fathers to their kids. Siblings preach of a tough love, but will have each other’s back through thick and thin. Lovers preach of a love that happens when one falls for the other, it’s a messy process that may scrape their knees and they never may stand on their own two feet again, but there is a sacred love when someone else catches you and holds you in their arms.

Weiss preaches the love of a god that has abandoned her, humanity, and the world. Weiss preaches of love that haunts her childhood and her childhood home with broken mirrors and scars. Weiss preaches the love of a sister who left for military service just to get away, and a brother who made her his bitter rival. Weiss preaches of a love that drowns her mother in a sea of alcohol, and her father building skyscrapers. A love that is nonexistent. A love that was echoed through ‘what ifs’. A fleeting love and love along the lines of hate. A love that destroys you.

She cherishes these loves all the same. Every time her sister sends her a text at strange hours of the day, every time her mother recognizes her, every time her father asks her to complete a task for him, and every time her brother bites his tongue from lashing out another insult. Weiss has to hoard love like a beggar would food.

It isn’t enough, because ever since Weiss was born, she’s always wanted what she can’t have.

Perhaps in a cruel sense of irony, fate made it so that she met Ruby Rose. If love was water, the silver-eyed girl was the endless ocean, constantly showering love to all she meets. At first, the two girls were at odds with one another but eventually Ruby’s honest soul scuffed Weiss’ edges and the two became the best of friends. Ruby was simply so kind, so honest, and so loving , that Weiss could not help but love her too.

It was a love that destroys you.

The little coffee shop was one of her favorites. Roasted cocoa beans and the smell of caffeine that invigorated even the living dead, it was Weiss’ cozy haven in a busy week. However, Weiss wasn’t there for the coffee that day. She was sitting at her usual table in the corner of the shop, a table for two, usually for her and her backpack, waiting for Ruby to arrive.

The poor girl had sounded so nervous over the phone while arranging this meeting that Weiss arrived a whole hour early just in case the other girl would be there, needing comfort. She liked to think that she would’ve done this for all of her friends. Weiss sat there in denial, an empty coffee cup pushed off to the side and a few forms she was filling out in her spare time.

A few minutes after their scheduled time, the door to the coffee shop burst open and a whirlwind of red barreled through the shop to her table. It was Ruby, in her usual red hoodie and ruffled, windswept hair, looking like the paragon of street fashion. Beautiful, ever enchanting in the afternoon sun, the dim lights of the coffee shop illuminating her gorgeous face... 

“Sorry I’m late! I hope you weren’t waiting that long!” Ruby said, fumbling to put her messenger bag down and nearly tripping over herself to sit down in the chair opposite of Weiss. “I missed the bus and had to run over!”

“You’re only seven minutes late,” Weiss said, saving the form and setting it aside to better pay attention to her best friend. It was just like Ruby to be so worried to have inconvenienced her. “Besides, I was already going to be here for coffee anyways.”

“Let me buy you a drink!” Ruby insisted, before noticing the empty coffee cup on the table and without missing a beat, amended her offer. “Or maybe pastry? You like the blueberry cheesecakes they have, right? I’ll pay for as many as you’d like.”

Ruby barely had enough money to cover half the rent of the apartment she rented with her sister, and buying the cheesecake would no doubt cut into her groceries or heaven forbid, the money she used to buy video games and the like. Weiss, who already had a comfortable job and more zeros than she could count in her bank account, would be the one paying, despite Ruby’s illusions of somehow coughing up money from nowhere.

“It’s fine, I’ve already gotten everything I wanted. What was it that was so important you had to run here to tell me?” Weiss asked, because she had been worried all day. Who wouldn’t be after receiving a call from their best friend at 2 AM about ‘something really important that has to be said face to face’. In fact, she’d been so worried she didn’t even sleep, planning through different scenarios ranging from hiding a body to advising Ruby on what to do with the lottery money she won. “If there’s a body involved, I propose we talk somewhere else.”

“Weiss! No! No, it’s not that.” Ruby rubbed the back of her neck nervously, glancing at everything but Weiss, “Um, promise you won’t be mad?”

Oh, this was definitely going to be closer to ‘hiding a body’, wasn’t it? Weiss gave Ruby a leveled look, “I won’t promise anything, just tell me already.”

The dark haired girl took a deep breath, eyes darting around the relatively empty coffee shop before finally, finally , looking at Weiss. Anxious fingers tapped at the table as Ruby started to talk. “You remember Emerald, right?”

The unfortunate answer was yes. Emerald had been a transfer student to Beacon University during their second year and for some reason, Ruby had liked her the moment the other girl handed her dropped wallet back and introduced herself. However, Emerald had some sort of thing with Cinder, who was a bit unhinged and had a wicked power complex. Disregarding Weiss’ warnings, who was the only one who realized who Emerald really liked before it was too late, Ruby was encouraged to confess her feelings to the other woman. Emerald agreed, and Ruby was the happiest she’d ever been until things changed.

Then something happened at the graduation party that Weiss missed, having been flown to Atlas to share the good news with her sister, who managed to get a day off. Something happened between Ruby, Emerald, and Cinder. It didn't take a genius to figure out what probably happened. For all of Ruby's efforts and daydreams, Emerald was still waiting with bated breath for Cinder to look her way. And ever since Ruby had stolen the spotlight from Cinder during an engineering challenge, the other woman never let that grudge go. After that, Ruby wasn’t quite the same afterwards, nor did Weiss expect her to be. It was heart wrenching to watch another woman tear Ruby down like that. All Weiss could offer was a shoulder to cry on and help Ruby move on, finding jobs and offering them to the college graduate.

Weiss schooled her face, trying not to let her disgust and anger show. “Yes, what about her?” She asked with a voice that would make grown men shiver.

Ruby grimaced, twitching nervously in her seat, fiddling with a strand of hair, scratching under her ear. “She’s been calling me lately. To uh- apologize for the mistake and ask if I want to go out with her again.”

As if on cue, there was a buzzing noise and Weiss glanced at her purse before Ruby dug out her phone, which was a little cracked from where it kissed the floor a few too many times, and slid it over. The screen blinked to life, buzzing from an incoming call, the notifications showed at least 4 missed calls from the last hour. All from the same contact titled ‘Emerald’ with a few green hearts next to it.

Her heart dropped at the name. Then it broke at the heart emojis.

She slammed a finger on the red button, hanging up. The words tumbled out of her before her brain could keep up. “Did you tell your sister? Do you need help filing a restraining order? Ruby, you can’t go out with her!” Each word was laced with pure desperation and terror was written all over her face.

Ruby blinked, not expecting Weiss’ emotional outburst, and shook her head. “The restraining order is a bit much, don’t you think?” She chuckled somberly, the kind of chuckle one made to cope with tragedy. “Don’t worry Weiss, I’m not going to get back together with her, ever .” 

Weiss let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Forget hiding a body, Weiss was wiping out Emerald’s entire existence. Before she could pledge herself to Ruby's cause, however, the Rose said something that would ruin Weiss’ life forever.

“I’m going to go out with you.”

“What?” Weiss screeched out, the blood draining from her face.

Weiss defined herself with a strict set of rules. Like physic laws, they were unbreakable. One was to be at least 5 minutes early to whatever required event that needed her presence. Another was to always dress her best. There was one on her rigorous study routine and another on taking time to relax, which her friends enforced whenever they could. Finally, there was one that was to not do anything untoward to Ruby simply because she is infatuated with her.

Whatever this was, it was bound to break the last one.

The silver eyed girl was starting to ramble now as the nerves spiked from Weiss staring at Ruby, the most shocked she’s ever been. “Of course, it’s not going to be real,” Ruby continued over the sound of Weiss’ shattering heart. “But- she cornered me while I was walking with Zwei one day. It’s all a blur, but I told her to fuck off because I don’t have those feelings for her anymore.”

To be honest, Weiss didn’t even know if that statement was entirely true, after all, Ruby had been with Emerald for about two years and she had been very invested. From rose petal dinners on all of the important dates, to buying jewelry for the other woman, she was the poster child for a significant other. Ruby even learned how to do makeup and got a fashion sense, both things she never would have done otherwise.

“She didn’t believe it of course, and kept on insisting on a date and I just had to do something. Get away from her. So, I blurted out that I was going out with someone else, but she didn’t believe me. I don’t think she’ll stop. Please, just pretend to go out with me? For a little while at least.”

Watery silver eyes fixated on her with such a hopeful expression, Weiss couldn’t bear to turn away, even though she was nicknamed the ‘Ice Queen of Beacon’. Still, with her dignity on the line, Weiss managed to croak out another option.

“Ruby, there’s plenty of people who would kill for a chance to date you. Are you sure you don’t want to go on a few blind dates? Get back into dating life perhaps?” Weiss suggested, because Ruby’s idea led only to pain and suffering. She would do many things for Ruby, but she didn’t hate herself enough to break her own heart like that.

Ruby slumped down into her chair. “I-I’m not ready to date someone again. I thought Emerald was going to be the one, you know? Like in fairy tales and Disney movies. I know that’s a stupid, childish way to look at it-” Her voice was getting a bit higher in pitch as her breathing became uneven and tears started to slowly dribble down her cheeks.

“Idealistic,” Weiss corrected her, offering a non-judgmental smile, “Nothing wrong with that.”

The red head faltered, “R-right. If I go out with someone else, it’ll be like I’m using them just to show off to Emerald. And I can’t do that to anyone. I’m not going to do what she did to me.” Both of her hands reached out to hold Weiss’. “You’re my best friend, and I can’t think of anyone else who can help me with this. You also need a date for your work party right? I’ll go! Please, Weiss, please.”

Weiss was wrong. She loved Ruby enough to break her own heart. Despite common sense, logic, and every fiber of her body screaming at her to not, she nodded, the hand not grasped in Ruby’s hold reaching out for napkins. Weiss sighed, dabbing the napkins on Ruby’s teary face, “This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever come up with, and yes I do include the time you convinced me to toss you onto the ledge to save that injured bird during a severe thunderstorm. You owe me big time.”

Ruby laughed, hints of sobs butchering it as she took the napkins from Weiss and wiped her own face. “I know, I know. Thank you, Weiss.” Ruby grinned, giving Weiss a wide smile, though not as wide as Weiss remembered them. “Now let’s prepare our uh- dating origins.”

Weiss rolled her eyes, “Our alibis, you mean.” It prompted a laugh out of Ruby again.

Now Weiss was the one who felt like crying. She wondered how many times her heart could break before it couldn’t be broken anymore. A small part of her stayed hopeful, whispering about miracles and happily ever after's, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

There lived a princess in a high, high tower. She had been trapped there for all her life, until a brave red knight climbed up the tower and freed her. Together, they both went on a journey to fight evil monsters and lived happily ever after.

Weiss blinked. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Alright, alright, not a fan of being stuck in a tower. So how about this?” Ruby suggested, snapping her fingers cutely.

Everybody is born with a red string of fate tying their soulmates apart. Ruby had been trying to follow her string to hers for so long, and finally after untangling all the knots, she stared at the straight, smooth red string that went from her pinky to Weiss’. 

Weiss waved it away, “No. Absolutely not!” She crossed her arms, “Is this some roundabout way for you to tell me to loosen up?” 

Ruby pouted, “Aw, but it would have been so cool-”

“It has to be realistic,” Weiss said, exasperated, “Something that won’t make Cinder look sane.”

Ruby stiffened a bit at the name and Weiss immediately shut up, staring at Ruby, trying to gauge her reaction. “Alright, I think I’ve got it.” She gestured to Weiss, “ We’ve been friends for a while, and you’ve been a real help to me after… And after helping me get back on my feet, I take you out to dinner as a thank you. But as the night goes on, I realize that I have feelings for you and decide to ask you out on a date. Um-”

Weiss continued to make believe, “ The two of us go on a few dates, and there’s just this moment where the both of us click. Where friendship becomes something more than just that. Which brings us to today, where you asked me out to be your girlfriend. Sounds about right.”

“Wow, you’re pretty good at this,” Ruby said, giving her a few snaps as applause.

Yeah, it’s what keeps Weiss up at night. If only she’d asked Ruby out the moment she figured out her feelings. Then, she might’ve had a chance. She doesn’t say that though. Weiss huffed instead, grumbling as she nervously twirled a strand of her hair. “You try spending four years as Blake’s roommate without learning a thing or two about the cliches of romance.”

“Oh? What book is this from?” Ruby asked, staring at the crumpled up napkin in her hand, “I’d like to read it sometime.”

Weiss shook her head, “Don’t bother.” With me, goes on unsaid. Just like so many other things. “The two of them don’t end up together anyways. The best friend is forgotten and sibling-zoned at best, or turned into a jealous monster at worst.”

Ruby laughed, “Good thing it’s not an actual rom-com novel then, huh? Then again, I doubt you’d be forgotten. Afterall, you’re the Weiss Schnee. If your name isn’t on the headlines of a magazine, no one will buy it or something. They won't forget.”

Weiss rolled her eyes, “Gee, thanks. They need my face to be plastered on every billboard in order to remember me.”

Ruby giggled, before growing serious, expression unreadable, “There’s still no one you’re interested in, right? Not after Neptune?”

Weiss nodded, “Isn’t that one of the reasons why you picked me? Everyone else who’d be even remotely okay with this plan is already in a relationship.”

“Right! But, well, things change. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t ruining your dating life,” Ruby said, glancing away.

“What dating life?” Weiss asked, glaring when Ruby opened her mouth in protest, and reached over to give Ruby’s hand a comforting pat, “If anything, you’ll be helping me get into the whole dating groove again.”

The other girl gave Weiss a sheepish smile, “Well, if you put it that way…”

Weiss smiled back, but she was thinking. Wondering about a lot of things was something she did a lot these days. 

When had Ruby gotten so withdrawn and unsure of herself? This was like their first year of college all over again, where Ruby would practically bend over backwards to help everyone for some semblance of recognition and thanks. What happened to the Ruby who strolled into her engineering class with the aura of confidence and skill, and declared that she’d be participating in the professor’s near impossible challenge of building some revolutionary energy device? Where was her partner, the one who shouldered responsibility naturally, with charismatic declarations and lots of honest encouragement to make even the laziest person work on the group project?

“I won’t waste anymore of your time,” Ruby said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. “How about you pick a time and we can talk more about specifics at my place?”

Weiss slowly nodded, “That would be lovely.”

Ruby smiles and leaves just like that. She walks out of the coffee shop like she hasn’t spun Weiss’ entire world off its axis, hasn’t brought upon the apocalypse for Weiss' heart. Ruby leaves their session of haunting ‘what ifs’ and ‘could you imagine’ with a perky answer of “Nope!” as she continues about her day like nothing had happened.

Weiss sighed, smacking herself in the forehead. That’s right, because nothing had happened. They were still friends, except now they’d be required to act like they were a couple in public. It was a crazy plan. Maybe crazy enough to work. Work for Ruby or her, she couldn’t quite tell at the moment, but so long as Ruby was happy, she could keep screwing the cap to her bottled up feelings.

She’d wanted to go out with Ruby for so long, but what does she do now that she got everything she ever wanted?

Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, she looked out at the tall, looming building of the SDC in Vale that obscured part of the sun. “Well, not quite what I’ve always wanted,” Weiss muttered to herself before pulling her forms out again and continued to fill them, her thoughts drifting to warm smiles, mid-night study sessions, and silver eyes looking at the world like it was filled with treasures.

Chapter Text

Plans change.

When she was little, she saw the portrait of her grandfather hanging in front of the wall. A stern faced soldier decked out in plates of armor that resembled a knight and furs lining across his shoulders, a long red cape cascading down his back. She planned it all out. First, to be knighted, to save a princess, ride horses out in the sunset, and get into daring sword fights. Out of those four things, she’s only ridden a horse out in the sunset.

Sometimes she talks just to hear her own voice. So learning to sing was a blessing. There was a plan, of course, one so simple she couldn’t mess it up. Get on the stage and sing her heart out, and the audience watches and claps afterwards. Let music be the bond between her and the strangers who listen and watch her from their seats. She’s stood on stages and sung, but no one hears a thing, and all they see is her reflection in the mirror. Weiss swears she is more than that.

Winter leaves for the military, trading her last name for a command of her own soldiers under General Ironwood. She tosses her birthright away like trash and Weiss cashes it, holding tightly onto it like treasure. It’s the last thing her sister leaves her before she leaves. The duality of leave as Weiss for Winter to take leave. From then on, Weiss tilts her chin up and looks to the company, away from the stage and spotlights. The world was the stage now, and she was going to perform all the same. The plan changes and she rolls with it with poised poses and higher high heels.

It was nearing the end of the semester and most people were studying for their exams. Weiss, Ruby, Yang, and Blake usually had their study sessions in the library during the morning, then they’d have lunch together and study through the hottest time of day before parting with a trade of ideas and notes. However, Ruby hasn’t been making it to their study sessions these days. Weiss sat at their usual table in the library as Blake and Yang arrived, hand in hand.

Once the couple sat down, it only made the empty seat beside Weiss all the more distinct. Yang clicks her tongue at the empty seat, “I hope she’s studying on her own. The engineering finals are hard and the professors aren’t going to go easy on any of us anymore.”

Weiss groaned, pressing her pencil into the paper, “A message before she ditches us would’ve been nice.” The lead of her pencil snapped.

The study session goes as planned. Blake and Yang do a couple things ranging from making out in front of mathematical equations, stare longingly at each other over chemical titrations, and plan dates right across where Weiss was sitting. When Ruby was here, the two of them would be able to silently judge Yang’s puns and flirts, playful bawk at the making out, and roll their eyes when it got too much. Without Ruby there, Weiss was complaining to no one but herself. If she wasn’t mad at Ruby’s absence earlier, she sure was now. Weiss flipped out her phone to call Ruby.

“Hey, Ruby. Remember when we won those free passes to the new laser tag arena? They expire in a week and we’ve gotta show those casuals how it’s really done. Preserve Iceflower’s winning streak. The reviews seem pretty positive so far. I haven’t seen you much after your trip to Mistral and it’d be nice to hang out again,” Weiss proposes, scrolling through the reviews of ‘Laserland’, the new laser tag arena. “Maybe when we’re done, we could watch that new Disney movie that came out?” Weiss adds on afterwards.

There was a small pause over the phone before Ruby spoke. “Sorry, Weiss. Listen, that all sounds really fun and I’d like to go, but I have to plan for me and Emerald’s anniversary on Tuesday and I need to come up with ideas.”

“It’s ‘Emerald and I’,” She corrects. ‘Emerald or me,’ the traitorous part of her brain whispered. Weiss felt something die inside of her at the implications of that. “Could you set aside one afternoon, maybe?” The tickets sat uncomfortably on her desk.

“I can’t,” Ruby sounds so tired over the phone, “This date has to be perfect. I can’t mess it up, it’s a big date, you know?” The dark haired girl let out a shaky sigh, “Maybe you could go with someone else? I bet Sun’s pretty good at laser tag.”

“Right,” Weiss says instead, tossing the tickets into her trash bin. “I’ll just throw it away.”

“No, don’t do that Weiss! Think of the fun! Oh, wait! Could I have the tickets? I’ll pay you back. Maybe Emerald would like to play laser tag,” Ruby says and Weiss immediately lunged for the tickets, taking out the tickets from her trash bin. Thankfully they weren’t that dirty.

“Sure, no need to pay me back.”

They meet up later for a short while. It’s December, and the lights are up. Christmas carols played from the street’s speakers, each streetlight was decorated with a bedazzling red ribbon. It was also incredibly cold, though it was nothing compared to Atlas’ winters. Everyone hyped up the holiday of giving, even though it wouldn’t be that time for a long while. Weiss hands over the tickets with a small grin. “Hope she likes it.”

“Yeah?” Ruby hums, taking the tickets with her big red mittens. “Me too! I’ve been coming up with team names all morning. We could be the Christmas Colors!”

Weiss wrinkles her nose, “Don’t go with that.”

Ruby laughs, “Yeah, even I’d dump myself.” 

As Ruby walks off, Weiss stops her. “I know your plans can’t change, but I’d like to catch up with you. So, could you call me when you’re free?”

Ruby gives her a nod and a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. Weiss understands that this means Ruby probably won’t and is just too polite to say otherwise.

Ruby waves and walks away, stuffing the tickets into her pockets before walking off to Emerald’s side and taking her bags of groceries like the perfect gentlewomen. With bright plans ahead for the dark haired girl, Ruby seems to shine through the twinkling Christmas lights. Weiss stands there alone, weekend plans ruined.

Winter, the cold season, comes at the end of fall. (Winter, the person, does not come this year.) The cold kills the plants, and animals sleep away their troubles. Birds try to fly away, but those that cannot suffer and pray they survive the months of scarcity. Something ended, not in the moment Ruby started going out with Emerald, but all the small moments from then. 

As Ruby leaves, Weiss doesn’t want their friendship to fade and end like this, but she doesn’t see how much longer she can keep calling Ruby’s name. So, that’s up to Ruby now. She’s going to wait for Ruby, whether it be a week or month.

Snow starts to slowly fall from the sky. When one snowflakes falls onto the ground it melts and another joins its place. Ruby used to hold her bags during their mall trips and she’d buy her a few comic issues as a fair trade. Weiss squatted down and held out a hand to cup a falling snowflake. “Guess this is how it feels to be replaced,” She whispers to the melting snow.

Weiss brushes the water drops off. She doesn’t say she misses Ruby, doesn’t say she loves her, instead she says, “I need to let it go.”

She doesn’t.

Weiss knocked on the door, solid three raps of her knuckle. The silver numbers, 125, mark the place. Yang and Ruby had moved into the apartment right after graduation. It was supposed to be an apartment for Yang, and perhaps Blake, but given how much of a wreck Ruby had been, those plans were put on hold. Neither of them minded, but Ruby had felt pretty guilty. Weiss had come by to help move things, the last she remembered of the apartment was the smell of paint and cardboard boxes lining up the rooms, unopened. 

She heard footsteps and then the unlocking of the locks. The door opened and Ruby gave her a grin with a piece of toast in her mouth, opening the door wider and beckoning her in with incomprehensible mumbles that almost sounded like her name.

Weiss chuckled, swiping her heels across the doormat and entering the apartment. At first glance it was incredibly obvious who lived here. Workout equipment was dumped half-hazardly in a pile, and some handheld tools were lying on several counters. The last time she’d been here, boxes hadn’t been unpacked and beds were nothing more than a mattress and a blanket. Now, the walls were decorated with various pictures of friends and family.

Ruby had finished her toast when she closed the door behind her. “Hey, Weiss. Thanks for coming.”

Weiss smiled, “Thank me later, when we finally get it through Emerald’s thick head that she doesn’t deserve you.” They shared a small smile before Ruby started walking away, leading Weiss to her room.

Ruby’s room was surprisingly barren. Where Weiss remembered there to be those Grimm collectable figures, there was a small jewelry box instead. Posters of the dark haired girl’s favorite shows were gone, the walls were surprisingly barren compared to the rest of the house. An unfinished project was tucked into the corner with a new tool box neatly put beside it, but it did not look like Ruby used it. The only thing that looked somewhat the same was that on her desk, there was still her gaming equipment.

Ruby jumped onto her bed and sat down with her legs crossed, “Okay, so let’s set down some boundaries. We’ve got to be believable but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Weiss rolled her eyes and settled into Ruby’s red gaming chair. “Don’t worry, I’ve already agreed to help you.” The fact that she would do anything for Ruby goes unsaid.

“Right,” Ruby said, giving Weiss a nod before looking away, “So, we’d probably have to hold hands and hug a lot. I know you like your personal space but I-”

“When has that ever stopped you?” Weiss teased, crossing her arms and putting on airs. “But, if you’re still worried, I hereby grant one, Ruby Rose, the ability to hug and hold my hands whenever she so wishes to.”

The dark haired girl stared for a bit before grinning and leaping from her bed to tackle-hug the other girl. “Yes! Unlimited power!” Ruby laughed, looking up at Weiss, cheek pressed against her shoulder. “You’ll regret this.”

“I doubt that,” Weiss quickly looked away, trying to hide her flushed cheeks. “So, what else is there?”

Ruby pulled back a bit and tapped at Weiss’ exposed cheek, “Kisses!”

Weiss turned back, Ruby’s finger still on her cheek. “Right,” She managed to croak out, forgetting how to breathe. “Kisses,” Weiss echoed, it comes out like an exhale, barely there. The word fades from sound and Weiss can’t help but hear the loud drums from her own chest. She prayed that Ruby wouldn’t be able to feel her very being quake at the realization. 

Ruby pulled back and settled onto her lap, Weiss is very much aware of the Ruby-sized crater she leaves in her wake. “We don’t have to do it, it’ll just be kinda hard otherwise,” the silver-eyed woman backtracked, eyes darting nervously away.

“Relax, Ruby,” Weiss said, but it comes out like an annoyed whine, “It’s fine. How many times do I have to say it?” She poked at Ruby’s cheek this time, “Kisses are alright.”

Ruby fidgeted in her lap. “Okay, if you say so.” She stared at Weiss expectantly, like Weiss was going to back out now that things have gotten harder. 

Ruby, Weiss thinks, should really know her better by now. 

Taking a deep breath and summoning the courage needed, Weiss takes Ruby’s hand and kisses it. “Is this alright with you?” Weiss asked, looking up to meet Ruby’s eyes, which stared blankly at her.

“Uh- Yeah, it’s alright,” Ruby said, with a smile. “That was very uh- savvy.” She shoots finger guns at Weiss, it was done out of awkwardness.

Weiss raised an eyebrow before huffing, pretending to be annoyed, “Savvy? I’ll have you know I am the very definition of suave, a true Casanova in this day and age-”

Ruby erupted into guffaws and laughter, “You? Suave? Maybe in board meetings, but take you to a dorm party and you’re like a fish out of water!”

Weiss gave Ruby a light smack on the head, “Shush. Well, you’re ‘dating’ this fish out of water now, so you can’t make fun of my charms.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, “Right, your charms.” She says it sarcastically. Like Weiss’ charms weren’t impressive, or that she had no charms at all. Ruby probably doesn’t mean it, it’s probably just a joke. Probably.

Weiss grinned back, but that comment bugs her a lot. It’ll haunt her when she sleeps tonight. It’s not so much the fact she had no charms, which she knows she does, but more the fact that despite this, Ruby still didn’t see her as more than a friend. Which is expected. Because this relationship is fake. There are no real feelings on the line. This was a last ditch effort by Ruby to move on from her past relationship.

Weiss’ own feelings were nothing in this equation, the outlier in a set of data that’s excluded lest it disrupt the average and skew the data. 

A small bark interrupts the two of them, and Weiss turns to stare at Zwei, the lovable corgi who had deemed them worthy of his presence at long last. Weiss squeals in happiness and gently pushes Ruby off her lap to make her way to the doggo, who waits patiently for her love. His little tail wags around as she falls onto her knees and embraces him, running her hand through his fur and murmuring coos into his ears.

Ruby giggled at the sight and Weiss glanced back, only to smile fondly at how Ruby is hunched over from laughter, a slight tear forming at the corner of her eyes. There’s a swell of pride knowing that Ruby’s happy because of her. The pride warmly encompasses her ecstatic heart and soothes her lungs until she’s able to breathe again. She stares at Ruby’s slightly ruffled hair, at her worn jacket that had been carefully mended from tears and time, at Ruby’s pearly teeth and beautiful face. 

It wasn’t until Zwei butted his head against her palm did she stop staring and gave Zwei the attention he deserved. Weiss hugged the corgi closer to her chest. Animals were easy to love. Cute, adorable, and loving, there were no barriers that prevented her from showering her love to the dog, no social stigmas or respect for another relationship could stop her. It was safe. Safe to love Zwei.

“The great Weiss Schnee, the hopeless dog lover,” Ruby commented between giggles, kneeling down beside her to give Zwei a few pats as well.

“He’s adorable,” Weiss replied, looking from Zwei to Ruby, “Everybody has a weak spot for adorable things.”

“Even your dad?” Ruby joked, not noticing how Weiss stiffened.

She let out a forced chuckle, “Maybe not everyone, then.”

Ruby looked away, the blankness in her gaze adding fuel to the flames of worry searing through Weiss’ chest. The white haired woman’s hold on Zwei went slack, one hand reaching to settle on Ruby’s shoulder. The other woman does not move.

“Ruby?” Weiss asked worriedly, the name threatening to come out with a wave of questions. She hoped Ruby's been taking care of herself. Yang had gotten a job at the gym after graduation, and so that let out small periods of time where Ruby was left to her own devices like right now. “Are you-”

“Weiss, not now,” Ruby interrupted, a familiar tiredness in her voice, and Weiss yanked back her hand like she’d been burned. 

“Not now, Weiss,” an abomination of men and women said, multiple voices merging into one discordant sounding voice. One of its hands had a bottle of vodka that never ran out, the other held a few important looking files with the Schnee emblem on it. It stood ramrod straight, military poised and committed. Silver eyes dulled to a blank slate, staring at a phone screen. Not now, not later… never.

She blinked, and the abomination of man and woman was gone.

“Alright,” Weiss said, somehow preventing the bitterness from leaking into her neutral tone, “I’ll drop it. How are we going to announce that we’re dating?”

Ruby scratched at her cheek, “I’ll tell Yang when she’s in a good mood. Ever since…” She trailed off before shaking her head, “She’s been more protective over me. I know she means well, but it feels kind of suffocating sometimes.”

Great. Protective Yang was kicked into high gear. She’d be lucky to get out of this without a scar.

A phone started buzzing again and Ruby winced, it was hers and they both knew who it was from. Weiss gritted her teeth and grabbed Ruby’s phone from the table, Emerald’s profile picture. The green haired woman wasn’t even looking at the camera, her eyes instead focused on her phone.

Weiss wanted to throw the blasted phone away, get Ruby a new one so that Emerald would never bother her again, but she also knew how it felt to be treated like fragile glass on the verge of breaking. She was only a friend, and Ruby and Weiss had drifted apart for a while, even if she was Ruby’s best friend, she had no business making these calls and decisions for her. Instead she just looked at Ruby with a simple question, “What do you want me to do?”

Ruby stopped, looking at Weiss in surprise before her eyes wandered around the room. Her arms held a patient Zwei, who licked her cheek comfortingly every once and a while. After a long moment of silence from Ruby, she finally spoke up. “I don’t want to talk to her, but I also don’t want her to stop calling,” Ruby finally admitted, holding Zwei like a lifeline.

Weiss bit her tongue, silencing her worry and nodding. She set the phone down, still ringing, and sat down on the floor next to Ruby. Respecting Ruby’s wishes, she didn’t say anything else, or ask about it. She stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the ringtone to stop, not daring to look at Ruby. Weiss was loath to leave Ruby alone, but she did think that Ruby needed some privacy during this moment.

“Thanks, Weiss,” Ruby whispered from beside her. The murmur was almost drowned out by the loud ringtone of some rock love song that Weiss knew all the words too, since it was one of Ruby's favorites.

“It's the least I could do,” Weiss replied, closing her eyes.

There was a rustle of clothes and then in one sentence, Ruby successfully hammers the nails in Weiss' coffin.

“I’m so lucky to have a friend like you, Weiss.”

Chapter Text

There’s a kind of love that protects. It urges you to put someone else’s safety above your own, to care about every wound and cut and broken shard of glass stuck into raw, bleeding skin. It makes people into heroes, grants them strength in the moment to be enough and come through for the other person. It may even be the very small things, to remind one to be careful, to pack an extra apple in their lunch.

It could be the big things, like Yang forcing Weiss into a kitchen chair despite Ruby’s protests and starting an interrogation.

“How dare you!” Yang started, her usually pale violet eyes like the color of burning houses. She stood up tall, taller than Weiss could ever hope to be and looked down upon her like a judge of the courtroom casting down judgement.

Ruby stood by Yang’s side, pawing helplessly at her furious sister. “Yang, please just hear me out-”

Yang shook her head, “No, I need to hear what the hell this-”

“Yang!”

“Talk!” Yang commanded with a frustrated growl, “So now you decide it’d be a great idea to ask her out? How could you take advantage of Ruby like this?”

Somehow finding the strength, Ruby inserted herself between a mildly frightened Weiss and an exploding Yang. “I’m the one who asked Weiss out!” Ruby admitted, which made Yang falter, red flashing back to violet.

“What?” Yang asked, incredulous. “You wanted to go out with Weiss? Why would you do that?”

“Rude.” She was ignored. Weiss huffed, grumbling in her chair and wanting to stand up but couldn’t with the two sisters standing a few inches away and cutting off her exit. 

Yang went on, her tone retaining its strength but losing the fury to confusion as she glanced between the red and white duo. “It’s only been two months since graduation, and I know for a fact you haven’t even changed Emerald’s nickname in your contacts. Not to mention you haven't even gone to Emerald’s place and picked up your stuff yet!”

Ruby winced, the strength from a moment ago disappeared and she stepped back, only to stumble a bit on the chair leg Weiss was sitting in. Thankfully, Weiss had quick enough reflexes to grab Ruby’s hand and pull her back up a bit. Ruby didn’t meet any of their eyes, so Weiss released the hand and leaned back against her chair.

Weiss’ heart sank for Ruby. She’d thought that Ruby had at least gone to get her stuff back. But here’s the thing, she should have known. She saw Emerald’s contact. Ruby even admitted to wanting Emerald to keep calling. Of course Ruby wasn’t over some aspect of the relationship yet. Wasn’t that what drove her to such extremes in the first place?

Ruby shook her head and blurted out the truth, “We’re not actually dating!”

Time stood still. The house was silent. Everyone held their breaths.

Yang glanced between Weiss and Ruby in disbelief. “You’re not? But Weiss has had-”

“Enough of your prattling,” Weiss interrupted, growling through gritted teeth as she fixed Yang with her most venomous stare. There were reasons why things are unsaid. She would like to keep it that way. The blonde stared in horror, her mouth opened, as if to shout some warning one would holler before a train wreck.

Ruby fiddled with her thumbs, and then tapped the tips of her pointer fingers together. “Emerald has been calling me back lately and I might’ve let slip that I’m seeing somebody else so she would stop asking. I don’t want to just go out with someone right now, so I asked Weiss if we could pretend to date for a while, just enough to get Emerald off my back.”

Yang picked up her jaw, “That’s crazy. This is fucking batshit crazy, Rubes.” She stared at Weiss, “And you agreed to this?”

Weiss looked away from the heated question as Ruby scrambled to stand between Yang and Weiss again, “Listen, Yang, Weiss is helping me out so please don’t-”

Yang reached into Weiss’ pocket and took out her car keys before tossing them to Ruby. “If you really want to get Emerald off your back, then go get back all your things from her apartment.”

Weiss huffed as Ruby fumbled with her keys. “Do I get a say in this matter?” She asked, eyeing her keys before looking at Ruby. “You don’t have to get your things back now. These things should happen on your own accord.”

Yang stood firm, like the unwavering fire amidst the cold arctic. “Going there in Weiss’ car will be making a statement. If you don’t have it in you to do that, then you should forget about your stupid dating plan with Weiss.” The blonde gave Weiss a meaningful stare that made Weiss understood straight away what was being asked of her.

The uncomfortable look on Ruby’s face made Weiss want to wrap the other woman up in soft blankets and protect her in the safest room forever, but this wasn’t something Ruby could run and hide away from forever. It was her duty to help Ruby, even if it meant doing something like this. Weiss gave Ruby what she hoped was a comforting smile, “I’ll go with you if you’d like?”

“No. I have actually been meaning to get my stuff back." She shook her head," But I’m not leaving.” She stared at the both of them before her determination waned. “Okay, fine!” Ruby, outnumbered, and out of moves, takes the keys and leaves, glancing behind at the two of them worriedly before going out the front door and driving off.

Weiss and Yang stood in silence as the sound of an engine soon disappeared.

Once the door was shut and Yang made sure Ruby was gone, she stared at Weiss for a solid minute before laughing, but she didn’t find anything about this funny. No one did. She leaned against the wall, the picture frames wobbling a bit as she trusted the wall to support her. “You’re not even going to be a rebound. It’s not even going to be real, it’s just going to be a lie,” Yang finally says, “Why aren’t you saying anything?” 

Weiss stayed silent, looking away. She simply had nothing to say. 

Yang ran a hand through her hair, confused eyes so full of care that made Weiss feel even guiltier than she already did. “Why aren't you saying anything?” She repeated, her tone soft and almost pleading. 

Weiss paused, staring at the woman in front of her, as the words came to her before she could think it over. “Would you say anything?” 

Yang stopped and nodded with sheer certainty like someone’s who’s never doubted in her life, “Yes! I’d tell her-”

“And then what?” Weiss demanded, clenching her fists and rising from her seat to take a step forward, rearing up to her full height, short as it may be. “Leave her to get somebody else to do this hare-brained scheme of hers? Come up with something even more disastrous?” She sighed, “It’s a terrible idea, but for her, I could make it work… ” She trailed off, eye catching one of the framed pictures on the wall.

Yang slowly turned, and let out a wistful sigh.

Both of them turned their attention to the framed picture on the wall. It was a picture of the four of them during a trip to the city. Blake was smiling, one of her rarer moments, looking up from her book, which was even more of a rare moment. Yang was grinning so big her eyes squinted, practically beaming as she flashed her teeth at the camera. Ruby was sticking out her tongue playfully from Weiss’ shoulder, and Weiss had a smile on her face as well, courtesy of her Ruby’s funny face. A snapshot of the time where they felt like kids without a care in the world.

“I’m just going to help her dodge a bullet, that’s all there is to it.” Weiss leaned against the wall next to Yang, staring at her hands.

Yang stared, the wistfulness turning into quiet, simmering resignation. “No, you’re taking the bullet for her.”

Weiss clenched her fights, setting her jaw as she looked away as if to ignore the blonde. “I’m not.”

Yang didn’t say anything else after that, but her eyes said everything. Neither of them were fooling each other.

There was a moment of silence, the both of them mourning something. Whether it was Weiss mourning the inevitability of hurt and Yang mourning the torture her friend was subjecting herself to, who’s to say? The whole situation was stupid, like one of those cheesy rom-com movies Blake loved. Yang never imagined that she would watch one in her own reality about her best buddy and her sister. She never imagined it would hurt to watch like this.

“Fine. Ruby needs to take responsibility for her own messes now.” She grabbed the cuff of Weiss' shirt and pulled her closer. “You break her heart and I’ll punch you.”

“Save your breath, I’m nowhere near her heart,” Weiss chuckled bitterly, not put off by the threat in the least. She held her breath and attempted to make a joke, “The only heart remotely close to breaking is mine.”

Yang smirked, a fragile thing like a joke so bad it wasn’t, “She can’t do that if you never confess.”

Weiss scowled, and Yang chuckled at that, this time genuine. The white haired woman rolled her eyes, “Fine, I deserved that.” She grumbled and then tapped a finger at Yang’s hands that were still gripping on her shirt collar.

Yang let go of her shirt, and immediately pulled her into a hug that was just as tight as her hold on her collar. “So, why?” The question wasn’t accusatory, like she already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it anyway.

“I really didn’t want to, Yang,” Weiss murmured, slowly hugging her friend back. “But she asked for help, Yang.”

Yang scoffed, because of course it was as simple as that. Everyone knew that Weiss could hardly deny Ruby anything she wanted. There was that one time the other girl nearly threatened to buy a bakery if they didn’t deliver Ruby’s favorite chocolate chip cookies. It was only Blake’s logic that had saved the day, and the bakery. 

“You’re whipped,” Yang muttered. “Should have kept your ice cold heart.”

Weiss grumbled, but didn’t deny it. There were a lot of things that went unsaid between the two of them, but it didn’t make it any less true. Weiss knew that though Yang didn’t like this, she’d be there to support the both of them.

After a moment, Weiss wiggled out of Yang’s hug. “Don’t you think you were a little bit too harsh on her?”

“She should’ve done this a long time ago, and she wanted to, but we don’t have a truck so she was putting it off. Most of her stuff’s over there,” Yang admitted. “Besides, Emerald’s not at the apartment right now. She has her shift for the most of the day. Mercury’s at the door, and he knows not to mess with Ruby.” Yang cracked her knuckles, eyes looking off into the distance with a glare.

Weiss let out a little hum before going to get herself a cup of water. “Everyone knows not to mess with Ruby, not after you nearly destroyed the courtyard with your brawl against Mercury. And Ruby’s not an easy target either.”

Yang stared at her for a moment, before returning to the conversation, “Are you sure you can do this? You’re just going to get hurt.”

Weiss huffed, “Of course I can do this, it’s not like this will be hard.”

By the time Ruby came back to the apartment with all of her things crammed into Weiss’ car, Yang and Weiss had gotten everything out of their system and were insulting the newest fashions on their favorite fashion channel together. When Yang and Weiss were getting to know each other, they couldn’t talk for more than a few minutes before it erupted into petty arguments and sarcastic slams. Eventually, the two found that their mean streaks were better put to use when united against a common enemy and that was the start of their friendship which eventually grew into more than just people with an uneasy alliance.

“She might as well just wear a bedsheet,” Weiss said with the roll of her eyes as there was a jingle of keys from the front door. “Honestly, we’d look better in a towel.”

“Damn right,” Yang agreed, nodding and slouching into the soft coach while Weiss was sitting up straight. Then, almost comically, the both of them gasped in horror as the next model started her catwalk. Yang jerked forward while Weiss, appalled, leaned backwards.

“What the hell is she wearing?” Weiss cried out, pulling at her own hair. “It looks like she’s wearing a fifth grader’s science project!”

Yang slammed a hand over her eyes, “No, don’t sugar coat it Weiss.”

“And here I thought I’d come back to see you at each other’s throats,” Ruby finally said with a small chuckle, as she walked over and offered Weiss her car keys back. She glanced at the tv, “What’s so bad about her outfit? I think it looks pretty cool.”

Yang and Weiss looked at Ruby like she'd just grown four heads. Yang sighed, schooling her face into a neutral expression before flicking Weiss’ forehead with mock indignation, “Oi, don’t judge my baby sister.”

Weiss sputtered, glaring at Yang. “Why you-”

Yang hopped up with a sharp laugh, taking Weiss’ keys from Ruby’s hand. “Rubes, you can talk to your not-girlfriend. I’ll go move the stuff from the car to your room.” As she left, she tossed her head back with a smirk as she called out, “No funny business!”, before turning the corner and disappearing with only the cackles of her laughter echoing through the living room.

“Yang!” Ruby whined, before letting out a frustrated huff and taking Yang’s place besides Weiss, collapsing into the couch.

Weiss chuckled, “Never a dull moment with the two of you, hm?” She reached for the remote and passed it to Ruby, “Do you want to change the channel?”

Ruby shook her head, “Nah, if you like it you can keep watching.”

“I wouldn’t say I like it, I just find them hilarious,” Weiss explained before setting the remote away and glancing at Ruby worriedly. “So…”

Ruby looked at her, “Yeah?”

“Uh-” Weiss scrambled for words. “So how was the trip? You didn’t crash my car, did you?”

“Of course I didn’t!” Ruby crossed her arms, turning her nose up as if the thought of it offended her. “Your car is priceless, and if I did break it, I’d still be in debt generations afterwards.”

“That’s true,” Weiss said with an arrogant grin, “It’s worth more than your college tuition after all.” She gave Ruby a wink, falling into the habits of familiar banter between the both of them. “Afterall, the Schnees are filthy rich.”

Ruby groaned, “Yeah, yeah, you’re so rich the bank’s losing money paying you interest.”

“You know it,” Weiss said, snapping her fingers. The banter felt substantial, like both of them were merely going through the motions without really meaning it.

She then turned to Ruby, “Did you get everything?”

Ruby nodded, “Yeah.”

“Did you bump into Emerald?”

Ruby shook her head, “No.”

“Did you want to?”

Ruby shrugged, letting out a sigh and looking away. “Maybe I did, maybe I don’t.”

Weiss took a deep breath, ignoring the sting in her gut. Focus on Ruby, nothing else mattered at this moment. So far, Ruby didn’t seem to want to talk about it, but she hadn’t said anything yet. With tentative words, Weiss ventured to ask her next question. “Well, if you did see Emerald, what would you have done?”

Ruby glared at the air in front of her, “I’d have told her that I wanted my stuff back. Everything I ever gave her, every present and every trinket that made me think of her. That I wanted every second of my time I spent doing something I thought would make her happy back. I want our first dates back.”

As Ruby went on the anger faded into apathy. Weiss didn’t know which one was worse.

The red haired woman continued, as if she couldn't stop the unwavering words from spilling out of her mouth like a river during a flood. “I want to have studied that day before finals instead of going to that stupid party just because Emerald wanted to support her friend . I want to take the time to have helped Penny with her robotics project, gone running with Pyrrha out on the track, do raids with Jaune to build our characters, or talk about the new fantasy series Blake is writing.”

Ruby sighed, tears sliding down her face as melancholy made her voice hoarse. “I want to have at least seen you off at the airport before graduation,” She admitted, hanging her head in guilt.

“Ruby-” Weiss whispered, reaching out a hand but stopping before it touched the other woman's shoulder. "I understand you were busy and couldn't see me off..."

Ten candles on a cake. A birthday song made up of accusations and confessions of hatred. A present that was pushing a woman past her breaking point so hard she resorts to alcohol as the only thing to keep a broken heart beating.  Separate balconies during her recitals until they didn't even bother to be there unless it was a performance.

Weiss shook her head and focused on Ruby, “Listen, I know it’s hard to find out that everything you’ve been counting on, everything you lived by, wasn’t what you thought it was-” 

“Do you?” Ruby asked, teary eyed and clenching her fists. “We were together for years, months, days, and now it’s just all over. She’s the one who ruined this." She grew more animated as she spoke, "It's her fault! Not mine. I know that! Why do I not believe it? Why do I still want her to notice me ignoring her? To spite her by dating someone else?”

Weiss went silent, silently offering Ruby a hug. The red haired woman collapsed into her arms without a second thought as she sniffled into Weiss' shoulder. Weiss didn’t know what to say. Ruby might not seem like it, but she rarely was honest about what she was feeling when she felt like it could inconvenience other people. How bad was Ruby feeling to have her spill the beans to Weiss? Every second that passed only exponentially increased Weiss’ desire to wipe Emerald’s existence off the world.

“She really broke my heart,” Ruby murmured, so soft like she didn't know if she was allowed to say it.

“It’s okay. Me, Yang, Blake, and all of your friends will be here to help you pick up the pieces,” Weiss promised, holding Ruby close and running a hand through her hair. “You won’t be alone through this, I swear.”