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“Come on, we’re getting creamed out here!” Marjan exclaims from the dugout. She’s pacing up and down and popping a piece of gum that she’s been chewing to help her calm down. It’s safe to say it’s not doing her any good.
“Marjan, it’s okay.” TK says, trying to console her. She’s been on edge since the second inning and he’s running out of gum. “It’s just an intramural game.” He tries; hoping that rationalizing it will bring her back down to earth.
“It’s not just an intramural game, TK. It’s the intramural game that will get us into the playoffs. The playoffs that will get us to the ch-”
“Championships.” TK and Paul say at the same time. They smile at each other but quickly stop when Marjan sends a cutting glare their way.
“Marjan,” Paul says, shaking his bag of sunflower seeds. “You’ve got to remember, we’re amateurs,”
“Oh I can tell.” Marjan interjects, quick to finish Paul before he can even begin. Her attention then focuses on Pearce; he’s currently on deck and practicing his swing. “Are you trying to throw the game, Risher?” She stalks out of the dugout, walking over to Pearce with the intent on showing him how it’s done.
“Godspeed, Pearce” Paul mumbles to himself. He spits out a cracked seed and elbows TK’s arm lightly. “Looks like you’ve got a fan.”
TK looks over to where Paul is nodding and sees Carlos climbing up the steel bleachers. He grabs a seat next to Grace Williams before he canvases the field, looking for TK. He’s donning a maroon shirt that has the university name in white lettering. He’s paired it with a pair of denim shorts and white tennis shoes. It’s a look that so simple but he makes it look so good. TK feels like he’s about to fall for him all over again.
“Pick up your jaw TK, you’ll catch flies.” Nancy says as she crouches into the dug out. TK and Paul look at each other; then both turn their heads to Nancy.
“Nancy,” TK begins. “Aren’t you up after Pearce? Shouldn’t you be getting rea-”
“Marjan’s arguing with the ref; I refuse to stand out in the heat while we go through that again.”
“Here we go.” Paul says as he hands his bag of sunflower seeds to TK and pulls his cap on. He hurries out of the dugout in hopes of calming Marjan down.
“So,” Nancy starts before grabbing the sunflower seeds from TK. “Couldn’t help but notice a familiar face in the crowd. I’m assuming things are going well?”
“Oh, so well” TK says. “He’s perfect, well, almost.” Nancy raises an eyebrow, a way of saying, “go on.”
“He might be the tiniest bit of a control freak, and he’s got this thing about red snapper.” TK’s eyes glaze over as he thinks about his first few dates with Carlos. Carlos seems to really like red snapper. He blinks back to reality when he hears Nancy violently spit out the sunflower seeds.
“Ugh, dill pickle.” Nancy says, handing the sunflower seeds back to TK.
“Could be worse though; and I would know.” TK continues. He takes the sunflower seed package back from Nancy and throws a handful back.
“You’ve dated worse.” Nancy says. TK refrains himself from rebutting, he already knows it’s a baseless argument. He sighs and lets out a thought that’s been on his mind.
“Just means that when it all falls apart, it’s going to hurt that much worse.” TK says and Nancy’s eyebrows furrow.
“But I thought you said it was going,” Nancy raises her pointer and middle finger on both hands up. As if to mimic quotation marks. “So well.”
“It is; it always does.” TK says, thinking of past relationships. “Which means it’s just a matter of time before everything blows up in my face like, it always does.”
TK doesn’t know what it is about love; but it’s never been kind to him. He loves the feeling of being in love. He’s quick to search it out, but because of that, the fallout hurts that much more.
With Alex, he fell too hard, too fast. With Brad, he found himself looking for something that was never really there. With Jason, god with Jason, it was almost like he was seeing just how red the flags could get.
With Carlos, it’s different. You can’t pace love; but with Carlos it feels as if it’s right on track. They’ve been going on dates for a couple months now and haven’t rushed to label themselves with anything. TK finally feels as if he’s in a steady rhythm. Which means he has no idea when it’ll all come crumbling down.
“Or, consider this. Everything could actually work out in the end.” Nancy says; gently shoving him with her shoulder. “You’re happy, TK. In a way I haven’t seen before; don’t second guess it.”
— —
“Don’t wait up.” TK says to Mateo as he starts to head out the door. He pats himself down, making sure he has his wallet, keys and phone.
“Okay, don’t get serial killed. Your dad will kill me if you do.” Mateo says without looking up from his homework. TK rolls his eyes and smiles before walking out the door. He walks down to the parking lot, hearing Carlos’ car before seeing it. He gets in the passenger seat and the first thing he does is turn down the stereo.
Carlos raises his eyebrows before he starts to back out of the parking space. “You’re lucky you’re so cute. Touching a driver’s radio is one of the cardinal sins, didn’t you know.”
TK leans his elbow on the middle console; holding his face in his hand. He gives Carlos a dreamy look before saying, “You think I’m cute?”
Carlos rolls his eyes but the smile that follows shows that it’s done without malice. “You know I think you are.”
“Doesn’t hurt to hear you say it.” TK says shrugging.
“I’ll call you cute as many times as you want.” Carlos says before switching the song.
“God, this one’s gonna hurt” TK thinks to himself.
— —
“Here we are.” Carlos says, putting the car in park. They’re parked in front of a park where the grass is finally starting to turn that right shade of green. TK looks over at Carlos, clearly confused.
“Movie theaters really have changed since we saw a movie two weeks ago.” TK says as he and Carlos get out of the car.
Carlos lets out a light laugh as he starts to open the trunk. “So there might be a little change of plans.”
“Oh god, Mateo’s gonna be so mad.” TK mumbles under his breath.
“What?” Carlos says, looking up from the trunk.
“Nothing!” TK is quick to rectify. “Nothing. So, uh, change of plans?” TK tries to slow his mind down. He thinks about all the possibilities that might have caused said change of plans. Carlos wouldn’t have gone out of his way to make new plans just to give TK bad news, would he?
Then again, Alex had no problem joining TK for dinner just to tell him that he was in love with someone else. Jason had no problem breaking up with him during the middle of a football game, in front of a crowd so he wouldn’t make a scene. TK’s heartbreak being accompanied by the sound cheers and jeers.
If this was Carlos’ way of ending things, it was gentle. It was on brand.
“Hope you’ve got an appetite.” Carlos says as finally closes the trunk. He’s got a picnic basket in his hand and is picking up a cooler off the ground with the other. TK looks up, as if he’s thinking over it.
“I could eat.” TK says as he grabs the cooler from Carlos’ hand. Carlos locks the car and starts a trek towards the park. TK follows without question. He doesn’t know where they’re making a home for themselves for the next hour or two; but he’s fine anywhere if it’s with Carlos.
Once they find a good spot that isn’t at risk of an errant frisbee or the splash zone of a well timed sprinkler; they set everything down. After Carlos places a blanket on the ground, the food he’s packed is quickly pulled out.
“Forgoing our usual menu of the sea?” TK asks as he unwraps his sandwich.
“I thought you liked it when I made seafood.” Carlos says, frowning as he pulls out two bottles of mineral water from the cooler.
“I’ve never been a big fish person.” TK replies, grabbing one of the bottles from Carlos. “More of a brisket man myself.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Carlos asks as TK begins to open his bag of chips. He struggles with it more than he would like to admit, but before he can even ask, Carlos is grabbing them from TK.
“Because I started to like it.” TK answers as Carlos opens the chips with ease.
“What changed?” Carlos asks as he hands them back to TK.
“I started to like you.” TK says with a smile.
— —
An hour or two slowly turned into a few and the sun was slowly starting to set.
“Not that I’m mad about it,” TK says while licking off the strawberry icing from his finger. “But why was there a change of plans?”
Carlos stares at TK and takes a deep breath before responding. “We need to talk.”
TK feels himself stop; the bite of cake in his mouth now feeling too sweet and the texture almost feels like sand. He knew this was coming; he doesn’t get to act surprised now. He sets the plate down and grabs his bottle of water; trying not to give his tell away.
“TK,” Carlos begins. “We’ve been going out for a couple of months now and I’ve be-”
“Carlos it’s fine.” TK interjects, cutting him off. “I get it, I do; I’ll save you the trouble of having to say it outright. It was inevitable but I knew it was coming and I understand.”
Carlos’ jaw drops slightly and his eyes widen. “Oh, well, I’m glad we agree.”
“I don’t know if I necessarily agree,” TK counters, peeling at the label on his water bottle so he doesn’t have to look at Carlos. “And it’ll make the car ride back to my place a little awkward but what’s done is done; you can’t change how you feel.” He notices Carlos hasn’t said anything so he takes a peek up at him. He looks nothing but confused.
“TK, what are you talking about?”
“You’re calling it quits.” TK says as he takes another bite of his cake; hoping this bite goes down easier. He puts the plate down once he realizes he doesn’t really have an appetite anymore. “I’ve been through enough of these conversations to know how they go.” TK says and he feels his breathing start to speed up.
“You know; as many times as I’ve been in this position; this conversation never seem to get any easier.” He tries to soften the harshness of the implication by cutting it with a laugh. Carlos gently grabs TK’s shoulders, trying to ground him. TK takes a beat and looks directly at him.
“Breathe tiger.” Carlos says and TK steadies himself. “I was going to ask if you wanted to make this official, you and me. Boyfriends and all that fun stuff”
“What?”
“TK, I like you,” Carlos begins, well, again. “I like you in a way that I haven’t liked any guy before and I was hoping that you’d feel that way too.”
“I do, I do.” TK responds, the words rushing out. “I really do; I’m just,” TK pauses. “Carlos, I like you in a way that almost scares me. I’ve never been with a guy as a great as you.” TK continues. “With other guys; it’s almost like clockwork the way things fall apart. I’m happy; they’re entertained and the next thing I know, I’m alone. I don’t know; I just figured it was inevitable that it would happen again.”
“That’s why you seemed so quick to call it quits?” Carlos asks; if he’s hurt by the implication, he’s not showing it.
“I’ve fallen hard before Carlos. But never the way I’ve fallen for you. I’m just afraid that this time, I won’t know how to get back up.” TK finally admits; more to himself than anyone. Carlos presses a chaste kiss to TK’s forehead before he replies.
“Don't worry; I’ll always be there to catch you.”
— —
Carlos is driving back to TK’s apartment and TK’s smiling at his phone while he reads a text from Nancy.
I told you there was nothing to worry about. I expect my “You were right Nancy” in person.
TK puts his phone away and stares up and out the passenger window. The sky has been blanketed by a deep hue; the stars shining bright. Looks like the stars might know what they’re doing after all.
“I thought you didn’t like this band.” TK says, finally tuning in to what Carlos is playing. They’re one of TK’s favorite bands, but he notices that Carlos always looks ready to press the skip button whenever he plays them.
“I’ve started to like them.” Carlos says. “I don’t know; they’ve got a couple of good songs.”
“What changed?” TK asks; slowly turning the radio up.
“I started to like you.”