Work Text:
“Calm down, TK.” Nancy says, pulling TK’s hand, and subsequently the number two pencil he’d been biting, from his mouth; the pencil showing two tiny idents from where his two front teeth have made a home for the last 15 minutes. “If you get lead poisoning, your dad will kill us.”
“You actually can’t get lead poising from a pencil.” Paul says, never once looking up from his notebook. There’s a complex series of equations covering the lined papers that TK doesn’t even want to make the effort to understand. “While it’s called pencil lead, it’s actually gr-”
“Graphite, yes, thank you Strickland.” Nancy interjects, rummaging through her backpack. She pulls out a piece of chewing gum, the fluorescent library lights reflecting off the aluminum of the wrapper. “Here, if you’re stuck on chewing on something at least make it edible.”
TK reaches for the stick of gum but before he can grasp it, Nancy snatches it back. “Or,” She offers, raising her eyebrows. “We can skip this whole step and you can go talk to the guy.” Even Paul’s attention is grabbed by that; head snapping up, anxious to see what TK will say.
“Nancy, are you kidding me?” TK responds. “What if I stutter, what if it’s just us staring at each other; or worse, what if he says something back?” TK says, eyes wide, mouth agape. “Just talk to the guy, like it’s ever that easy.” TK quips.
The guy in question being the student librarian, well, the handsome student librarian, if you ask TK. He’s been working at the library for the last three months and he’s been on TK’s mind for the last two months, three weeks and six days.
He doesn’t know if it’s the chocolate brown eyes framed by the black rimmed glass that’s he’ll occasionally make contact with; or the hair akin to that of his eyes that lays in curls on the top of his head. Personally, TK thinks it might be that smile; the smile that’s just this side of blinding in the best way.
“Oh yes, you’re completely right I can’t even believe I would suggest something like the normal act of speaking to someone.” Nancy says, sarcasm dripping from her words. “Every one knows that the best way to get someone to fall in love with you is to never make actual conversation with them and to stare at them from afar. Just like in the movies.” Nancy says, winking at Paul as he tries to stifle his laughter.
“Forgive me if I’m hesitant to take romance advice from the woman who says her favorite rom-com is Gone Girl.” TK is quick to respond; garnering a genuine laugh out a Paul and Nancy rolls her eyes but there’s no malice behind it. Nancy concedes, handing the gum to TK because while she’s sick of hearing about this love sick crush; she’d be even more sick of him if he got sent to the ER for a tongue full of splinters.
TK sighs as he unwraps the gum, the minty flavor overtaking his senses.
Nancy isn’t wrong, though he would never tell her that. He knows that the way to at least put himself out there is to, well, put himself out there. However, it’s not for lack of trying on his part; it just seems that every time TK makes an effort to talk to him, something always goes wrong. Well, wrong, as in the “universe clearly has it out for me and I will end up alone” kind of wrong.
He’ll go to check out a book and of course that’s the exact moment that handsome guy’s will go on break and he’ll be stuck with the full time librarian, Mrs. Whitford, helping him. She’s as sweet as can be but her salt and pepper hair pales in comparison to his coffee colored hair.
He’ll go to ask him a question when they’ve conveniently happen to be in the same book section (because yes, TK, the architecture major, desperately needs a book that’ll further explain medieval metalwork) when someone will grab said guy’s attention. TK would stick around to see if he could make a second attempt but he more normally hurries himself out of the section before looks like he’s shadowing the guy; and more importability, before he gets a headache just trying to read the title of the some books on the shelves.
It’s almost like they’re two passing ships in the night but if only one ship knew about the existence of the other. Nautically accurate example? Probably not but TK’s going to be an architect, not a sailor.
Hell, he doesn’t even know what the guy’s voice sounds like. His few, read very limited interactions around the guy show that the guy seems to be a non-verbal communicator; showing attentiveness through eye contact and genuine listening.
After enough missed connections to last him a lifetime in only a three month period; TK just assumed the universe was playing a cruel joke on him and decided that it wasn’t meant to be.
There’s a very, very fine line between observing and stalking (while TK already knows this, Nancy is sure to remind him) and the last thing he wants to do is make the guy uncomfortable at his job.
TK’s fine with it, though. He’s totally made peace with knowing that he’ll not only be able to design his own house but make sure there’s enough room for the seven cats he’ll end up with since he’s sure to end up alone. If the universe is giving him a sign; who is he to ignore it? He’s totally cool with never being on the radar of a guy who could totally be the love of his life and he’s definitely not going to get stuck on it.
Well, he wasn’t, until he walked into the library today and saw that the handsome librarian is wearing a shirt that has the name of TK’s favorite band on it, written in in bright white letters; because of course he is. So TK asks himself again, if the universe is giving him a sign; who is he to ignore it?
TK decides to bite the bullet and just go for it; just one more time. He pushes back his chair and stands up, Nancy and Paul’s eyes following him. He lets out one more deep breath before he walks up to the library desk and find himself staring at the handsome librarian and the handsome librarian standing back; showing TK that smile.
He looks on, waiting for TK to start the conversation and that’s when TK realizes he has no conversation starter. TK starts to speak, stuttering over his words when a boisterous voice fills the silence.
“Reyes!” Judd Ryder exclaims. “Just how is the studios stud of the south?” Reyes turns to Judd, looking a little startled but calming down when he sees that it’s just Judd. Before he’s even able to respond, Judd continues speaking.
Judd Ryder, star quarterback at their university, is built like a brick wall. To put it simply, Judd is a big guy. The only thing bigger than Judd himself, is his personality; so it’s shockingly easy for TK to quietly fade into the background, shadowed by Judd’s physical and vocal presence. TK accepts defeat, once again and walks back to the table where Nancy and Paul are trying their hardest to act like they didn’t witness what just happened.
TK falls into his seat; not even celebrating the fact that he has some type of name to give handsome librarian Reyes because that makes the whole situation feel that much more pathetic.
So yeah, if the universe is giving him a sign, who is he to ignore it? Smart. He’d be smart.
-
One thing TK looks forward to every week is his favorite local radio show, Lend Me Your Ear (I’ll Lend the Advice). It’s a show run by a student at the university and airs on one of the local AM stations. While the name is cute; it’s not entirely innovative. It’s an LGBT friendly program that reminds TK of the Dear Abby columns his mom used to read. It’s a little bit of music; a little bit of advice and at times, a life saver.
TK first came across the show a couple of months of into his first year of college and it helped him relieve a lot of the first year fears he didn’t want to worry his mom with. While the host can’t be much older than him; he has a way of providing a sense of security to the listener. A way to help you realize you’re not alone; because either he or someone who’s calling in knows exactly what you’re going through.
Due to TK’s last class of the day ending at 8:10, he always misses the beginning of each episode so he doesn’t even know who the host is. He tried looking it up on the student media website but that proved to be no help due to the fact it looked like it hadn’t been updated since the Bush administration.
TK doesn’t mind it though; in a way he likes it. This day and age; it’s so easy to find out everything about anyone and he likes the idea of a non-judgmental, being somewhat of a beacon for him throughout his every day life. He might not know the person behind the mic; but they don’t know him either. Maybe it’s best that way.
TK is currently sitting in his room; listening to tonight’s episode and stewing in a self made concoction of self pity. He doesn’t want to call Nancy about it because lord knows she’s heard enough and he can’t bring it up to his roommate Matteo because he’s at a tutoring session with Marjan and also he’s probably sick of it too. He’s brought out of his thoughts when he hears a soft, velvety voice breakthrough.
“And we’re back with Lend Me Your Ear; need advice? Don’t be afraid to call in.”
Well; TK hadn’t tried that.
— —
“Hello listener, you’re on with Lend Me Your Ear; what’s on your mind today?” The radio hosts asks. TK blanks; struggling to find words for the second time that day.
“Uh, hi,” TK greets. “Um, long time listener, first time caller.” TK says, wincing at himself. “Why on earth did I say that?” He asks himself. He hears the host chuckle on the other line and feels less self conscious but he knows he needs to keep talking before he’s get stuck in a cycle of self doubt. “So, I’ve got a p; my friend has a problem.” TK says, tripping over his words. He doesn’t know who’s listening but it would be just his luck if Reyes was somehow tuned in.
“There’s this guy that my friend thinks is just, well, beautiful. His eyes, his hair; and he’s got this smile that’s just this side of blinding in the best way.” TK begins rambling on. “Anyways, my friend thinks this guy is cute and wants to ask him out but he has no clue how to ask said guy. Well, it’s not that he’s got no clue how to ask, it’s more than whenever he tries to ask him, I, I mean he, he’s always a, like, second too late.” TK knows he should cut himself off but once he gets started he can’t stop.
“You know what I mean? It’s like, he’ll go to speak to the guy and the guy will go on break or he’ll finally make that move and he can’t find the words to say. It’s like universe has it out for m-him; and that he’s just wasting his time because he’s gonna end up alone anyway. It’s like he ju-”
“Woah, woah, breathe tiger, okay?” The hosts interjects and TK catches his breath. “This friend of yours,” TK can hear the quote unquote surrounding the word friend through the airwaves alone. “He sounds like he’s being getting in his head a little bit?” TK can tell the host is trying to say it definitively but also doesn’t want to assume.
“Yeah,” TK answers. “That might be the case, maybe.” He hears the host chuckle softly again and it helps relieve TK slightly.
“Well, I’m going to give your friend the best advice that I can.” The host begins. “I’m, in no way, an expert when it comes to love. Much like your friend, I feel like I’m always the one who’s doing the chasing; but listener let me tell you something I learned about love.” The host says.
“Love is weird; It’s chaotic, it’s wonderful, it’s scary and more often than not; it happens when you least expect it.” He continues. “It’s not like the movies; it’s not this cookie cutter timeline that can be wrapped up in under two hours, there’s no deadline for when it all happens, you know?” He asks but TK knows it’s rhetorical.
“It’s not something planned, it’s a surprise because who knew a person could make you feel this way? Who knew that a person could stop you in your tracks; keep you on your toes, and question a future that’s not with them?” He continues. “I’m not much a signs guy myself; I like to have a hand in choices I make, my friends tend to call me a control freak; but listener, your friend? He’s gonna be okay; maybe not with this guy, and maybe not now; but he’ll find himself in that crazy whirlwind we call love when the time is right. I don’t think the universe has it out to for him;, it’s just taking it’s time to align the stars.”
— —
TK’s standing in line, waiting to check out a book for one of his general education courses that he waited until halfway through his second year to take it because of course he did. He hasn’t seen Reyes the last couple of times that he’s come in here; and maybe that’s for the best. He’s been thinking about his conversation with the host of Lend Me Your Ear and it’s helped settle his in a way.
He steps up to the counter right as Mrs. Whitford starts to step away. She gives him a smile but is very much in a stance that reads that she’s not going to stop for him.
“Hi there; I’ve got to step away for a second but Carlos should be out here to help you in a second. Oh here he is.” Mrs. Whitford says as Reyes Carlos takes her place. She says her goodbyes, tells Carlos she’ll be back as soon as she can and leaves TK in a state of shock, staring at Carlos’ student media t-shirt.
“Oh, uh, hi.” TK says; placing his book on the counter.
“Hey tiger.” Carlos says, smiling with that smile that’s just this side of blinding in the best way.