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Sapnap doesn't know exactly what he's expecting when he gets home from London, but it's certainly not an elderly dog laying on the living room couch, nor a child running towards him, clothed in a pair of dinosaur-patterned overalls and a blue button-up and happily saying "Uncle Nick, Uncle Nick!"
The child, a boy by the looks of it but Sapnap's learned not to assume anything, makes the motion of wanting to be picked up, and with a sigh, Sapnap unshoulders his backpack, drops his suitcases, and lifts the kid onto his hip, looking the child up and down. "Who do you belong to?" he asks.
"Hi, Uncle Nick," the kid says. "Uncle Clay said I should come to give you a hug. He's making lunch."
Dream comes out a moment later with a mixing bowl in his hand, stirring furiously with a whisk in the other. He looks flustered, hair a mess and hoodie streaked with flour, and the whole thing is awfully domestic. Something in Sapnap's chest falls back into place that's been wonky since he left for England. "Hey, man. Austin insisted on greeting you, I swear, I didn't just put him up to it."
"Uhh, Dream?" Sapnap asks, hiking Austin up higher on his hip. Austin is staring at Sapnap's earring, thankfully not touching it, and is very quiet. "Since when do you have a kid? And since when do we have a dog?"
"The kid is my sister's and we're watching him for a couple of days," Dream says. "And the dog is Moosie. She's older, probably around eight years old, or that's what the shelter said, and I went to the shelter with my mom and Cassie and I just- I couldn't not bring her home, Sap. She's a sweetheart, I swear, and she loves Patches."
"Alright." Sapnap just wants to go upstairs to take a nap and sleep off the residual plane anxiety, but it seems like he has stuff to do. "What are you even working on?"
"Uncle Clay is making pancakes for dinner," Austin says happily. Sapnap looks at him and sees the Wilde family smile looking back, just like Dream's. "With chocolate chips."
"Yeah? Well, Uncle Nick knows that you're not supposed to mix pancake batter this much. It should still be lumpy when you start pouring, man," Sapnap says, and the blush on Dream's cheeks says it all. "Those are gonna be some thick pancakes. Why are you even cooking, anyway?"
"Austin wanted them," Dream admits, "and so did I, and I couldn't call anyone because you were on a plane and my mom's doing stuff and George is busy and-"
"Hey, hey, it's okay." Sapnap walks to Dream and they make a careful exchange of what they're holding. Austin's head drops to Dream's shoulder and he lets out a contented sigh. "I'll make a new batch and we'll all have pancakes."
Moosie joins Sapnap in the kitchen, warming up to him immediately and licking his hand anytime it gets too close to her tongue. She's a bigger dog, probably part retriever based on her ears. Her coat is soft and her eyes are bright despite the speckling of gray fur on her muzzle, and Sapnap realizes that she's the first joint pet that they officially have together.
As Sapnap's slowly dolloping the second round of pancakes onto the griddle, Dream comes into the kitchen, giving a scratch to Moosie's head as he comes to stand next to Sapnap. "I've distracted him with 'Paw Patrol' for the moment," Dream says, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. "Clara had her baby."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. And there's been- complications, I guess. The baby's in the NICU right now, and she'll probably be out within a day or two, but until then, Clara and Peter left us in charge of Austin, and we have him constantly because of spring break. I should've warned you, I'm sorry about that, but it was short notice."
"Totally cool, dude. He seems like a delight, as does our little lady right here." Sapnap pats Moosie's head and she wags her tail so hard it thumps against the floor. "We need to get you someone to fight your impulse control, though. I can't have you coming home with pets every time I travel somewhere."
"I know. I just- I really missed you, Sapnap."
The smile on Dream's face is amazingly genuine, and Sapnap softens with the look. It's a handsome view, despite the fact that both of them are utterly exhausted. "I missed you, too. And if I knew we were going to cosplay as a married couple when I got back, I would've booked my flight sooner."
"You just left me for four weeks to cajole with another man; I don't think that's a very happy marriage at all."
"Hey, I would be an excellent husband for you," Sapnap counters, stacking the pancakes onto a plate. "And I'm gonna prove it with this delicious dinner I've just made us."
"Get some sleep, please, because I know you'll be thinking straighter when you're rested." Dream takes a deep breath. "And showered, for that matter."
"If I'm married to a man, I'm never thinking straight." With the last pancake, Sapnap turns off the griddle. "I'm gonna go put my bags upstairs and then we're eating together. As a family!"
"You're way too into this already," Dream says, but smiles at him nonetheless. "Damn, I missed you."
"I missed you too, sweetheart. Now go give Austin some pancakes, I'll join y'all in a minute."
Paying as little attention as he can to the new pottery wheel in their home gym, Sapnap drops his suitcases up in his room. There's a new dog bed inside Dream's room that Patches has laid claim to (she's indifferent to Sapnap's arrival home), and Austin seems to have fully moved into the guest bedroom. Toys litter the ground and there are dinosaur sheets on the bed.
Not for the first time in life, Sapnap wonders what it would actually be like to be a dad. He's always wanted to have kids, even after the fight with his sexuality and the realization that adoption is possible if he settles down with a man.
Does Dream also seem like great parent material? Yes, and never mind the fact that Sapnap badly wants to kiss him now that he's seen how cute Dream looks with Austin sitting between his legs on the ground, both of them enraptured by the TV.
"We now have a no swearing policy," Dream says. "Forgot to remind you about that. He's susceptible to picking words up fast."
"Susceptible," Austin parrots, grinning up at Sapnap. "Hi."
"Hey," Sapnap says, sitting down on the couch next to Dream.
Within five minutes of finishing his own pancakes, Sapnap is asleep on the couch, lulled by the voices of cartoon dogs and Dream and Austin talking about the moral alignments of said dogs.
Smart kid.
Sapnap is shaken awake by a gentle hand on his shoulder and a whisper of his name. It's dark in the living room and the front curtains have been closed to block the cool of the night. Moosie is standing next to Dream as he looks over Sapnap, goading him to wake up.
"It's past 10," Dream says. "You slept through a lot. Austin's been asleep for two hours and I thought you'd like to get into your own bed for a change."
Sapnap frowns at that. Honestly, he'd been hoping to curl up in Dream's bed under the weighted blanket and the arms of a man he trusts with his life. "But what about our cosplaying?" He asks sleepily, feeling five pops in his back as he sits up.
"Oh, so we aren't getting a divorce and sleeping in different rooms." Dream smiles. "Come on, then, dear, tell me all about your nice boyfriend in London while we lay next to each other."
"Alright, but no sex tonight, I'm too tired." Sapnap grins, coaxing a smile out of Dream.
"I wasn't even gonna try to."
As they're getting ready for bed in the same way that they've done a thousand times before (and wow, Sapnap missed Dream while he was in England), Sapnap realizes that they already act like a married couple, or at least long-term partners. Despite the big house and the multiple bathrooms, they use the same one, brushing their teeth right next to each other, dancing around the bathroom and then the hallway.
"Hey, Moosie," Dream says when they're ready to slip between the sheets. She's laying at the foot of the bed, wagging her tail and looking back and forth between the two of them. "I've been letting her sleep up here-"
"You ever thought about actually settling down?" Sapnap asks, pulling back the covers (because Dream always makes his bed) and slipping in, maneuvering his legs around the dog. "Like, after the DTeam house and all."
"I guess so, yeah. I mean, with Samantha, I thought that was gonna be forever..." Dream sighs, nearly letting himself slip into a pile of bad memories. Instead, he just continues. "I want kids, though. A bunch of them, if possible. And this life, this hypothetical thing we've got going on. Love, friendship as well as romance, the dog at the end of the bed."
"We might be too good at cosplaying a married couple," Sapnap jokes, scooting back so he's the little spoon. Dream's body curls against his back, warm and firm, and Sapnap sighs as Dream's leg comes between both of his own. "Fuck, I missed this. George hates touching."
"L," Dream murmurs, burying his nose in Sapnap's hair. It's far from the first time they've found themselves in this position, pressed tightly together and barely awake, but without it for days on end, it feels as good as it did the first time. "Tell me about him, please."
****
They wake up in the morning by Austin and Moosie bounding into the room. They're a good pair together, the kid and the dog, especially with the enthusiasm from both sides, and Sapnap is easily roused by the racket.
"Hey, Austin," Sapnap says. He and Dream separated at some point during the night, meaning it's easy for him to sit up. "How'd you sleep?"
"After Uncle Clay told me about how Moosie is going to protect me from the monsters, I felt better. And I slept good!" Austin says happily. "Do you have Lucky Charms?"
"If Dre- Uncle Clay didn't eat them all," Sapnap replies, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.
Wow, does it look like he and Dream are in a domestic partnership.
Instead of thinking about it too much, though, Sapnap grabs his robe from the hook on the door and follows Austin down to the kitchen. Moosie follows, padding on cautious feet that click on the wood floors of the hallway and then the tile of the kitchen, and Patches sits on the dining table, watching them with curious eyes.
"You live across the city, right?" Sapnap asks. He's pretty sure Austin is six years old at this point from the minimal details he's gotten from Dream about his sister and her small family. Clara and Dream have a strained relationship according to Dream, something about 'different paths', but it doesn't seem all that bad when she trusts Dream with her kid. "Have you ever been to the zoo?"
Austin shakes his head. "Nope. Mama said that we'd go soon, but then she got pregnant and she didn't want to do anything for a long time." The boy sighs. "But Uncle Clay said we were going to the park today."
"Yeah? Well, Uncle Clay doesn't know about my annual pass to the zoo, so I'm going to bring you there, even if he says no." Sapnap knows he's probably a bad influence but he really wants to see this kid get excited. He's never met Austin before last night and already is amazed by how animated and smart he is. "What's your favorite animal?"
"I like porcupines! I have a stuffed porcupine named Alfie and a book all about them. They're super cool! And the African ones are way bigger than our ones, and I want to touch one but I can't." Austin frowns for a moment, then smiles again. "My book is upstairs with Alfie! I can show you!"
"Finish your cereal," Sapnap says gently, unsure if Austin will listen, but the Lucky Charms are gone at record speed before Austin is bounding up the stairs, saying "Hi, Uncle Clay!" as he goes.
"Hey, handsome," Sapnap says as Dream wanders into the kitchen, blond hair ruffled. "We're going to the zoo today."
"Alright, dear husband, and why didn't you ask me about it?"
"Because, my darling, Austin needs to see a porcupine. I have a feeling that he hasn't gotten many people to talk to in the last few months and he needs some time to have fun. And I'm kidnapping him if you don't come with me."
"That's illegal."
"Exactly. None of that legal shit needs to happen, right?" Dream gives him a dirty look. "Sorry, stuff. Family day at the zoo? Come on, I'll kiss you in front of the lemur enclosure."
"Make me tea and I'll say yes."
Austin comes charging down the stairs as Sapnap starts the Keurig. He's dragging a giant stuffed porcupine, remarkably detailed, and carrying a book about porcupines. "Uncle Clay got this for me when I was a baby!"
"Awww," Sapnap says, noticing the blush on Dream's cheeks. "That's sweet. Read me the book, kiddo, I need to be educated before we see the porcupines."
Dream drinks his tea, Sapnap learns about porcupines and falls in love with Dream a little bit more, and Moosie consumes her kibble at the same speed Austin managed to plow through his cereal.
"Austin, go get dressed so we can go to the zoo," Sapnap says when they're finished, and Austin nods excitedly before charging upstairs, Alfie filling his arms and Moosie following close behind.
"You're good with him," Dream says, smiling. He's leaned against the counter, finishing his mug of earl gray.
"Finally realizing I'm good husband material, sweetheart?" Sapnap winks.
"Yeah, actually," Dream says, and it's so genuine that it catches Sapnap off-guard.
They've always had a 'will they, won't they' joke with their friendship, one fueled by teases, innuendos, and touch intimacy after they moved in together a year ago. Before the London trip, Sapnap slept in Dream's bed at least four times a week, always cuddling close, and they just never talked about it. It was theirs, quiet and simple, and if Sapnap has imagined kissing Dream goodnight every time they've slept next to each other, then he's kept that to himself.
But now, this is different.
"Dream-"
"Not right now. It's too early for this, for-" Dream takes a deep breath. "I want to kiss you at the zoo."
"Oh," Sapnap says, because he's not sure what else to say. "Cool."
"Really? Just that?"
"You won't do it."
"Oh?" Dream counters, and Sapnap grins.
"You're too much of a bitch," he says, whispering the swear. "And if you're not, then I'm expecting the first kiss to end all first kisses in front of the lemur exhibit."
"Fine."
"Fine."
And that is that, no more talk of making out in front of innocent primates brought up as the three of them climb into Dream's Tesla, fitted with a car seat for Austin in the back. Moosie stays at home after Dream insists that she's the perfect dog and will never do anything wrong. Dream drives like he always does when they're in the car together, Sapnap uses his phone to navigate, and Austin sits quietly, watching the city pass outside.
The zoo isn't too packed for a Tuesday morning, meaning they go smoothly through the line and are standing just inside within minutes. A peacock watches them from across the street, staring like he has a personal vendetta against their small group, and Sapnap wonders if "bird mauling" is one of the incidents his insurance covers.
Besides the flamingo enclosure, which smells strongly of birds and fish, they spend a lot of time looking at each thing, following Austin all over as he decides how long each animal should hold his attention. The tamarinds are a favorite, as is the leopard, but when they get to the African porcupine exhibit, Sapnap has a sneaking suspicion that Austin is never going to leave.
Dream leaves for a long moment and comes back with ice cream just as Austin is nearly crying with how excited he is. Sapnap has picked him up, balanced on his hip, and is trying to console the boy while still making sure he gets to revel in the excitement.
"Lemon bar for you," Dream says, handing Sapnap the ice cream bar sans package. "And a Drumstick for Austin, and a chocolate-covered banana for me."
Sapnap's mind supplies him with a potential joke about Dream's choice but he remains quiet, eating his lemon bar while Austin lets the Drumstick start to melt all over his hand while he stares at the porcupines.
At last, after nearly ten minutes, Austin announces that they can move on now and that he needs a porcupine from the gift shop unless he will die.
"Penguins next," Dream says, grabbing Sapnap's hand as they walk, and Sapnap feels happier than he has in a long while. Sure, London was great, seeing Q and George and Karl and the whole Britain gang, but there's a point in any vacation where you miss home.
When they're standing in front of the penguin tank, watching the birds swim about in their huge pool, Austin makes a new friend. Her name is Bella and she has little blond pigtails on each side of her head. Her mother, Marie, looks exhausted.
"I would just kill to have my husband here right now," Marie says. "Wow, I hadn't expected Bella to make friends this past. Your son is a little gentleman, isn't he?"
"Our nephew, but thank you," Dream says with a smile before Sapnap can realize what's happening. "Might I suggest letting Bella lead you around for the day? That's what we've been doing with Austin and he seems to love it so far."
"Lemurs!" Austin announces, but Bella shakes her head, turning back to the penguins.
"Excellent idea," Marie says. "Thank you."
The ring-tailed lemur exhibit has only a few families around it. The animals themselves are active, running about their vast enclosure, and Austin goes up close to the glass wall while Dream and Sapnap hang back.
"The last month without you has been one of the worst months of my life," Dream says as they both lean against a large rock. "And I thought I just needed someone else, but I got Moosie and realized that I wanted her to be ours. Then I see you with Austin and I think I'm in love with you, and I know we have all the plans to live with George but you seem-"
Sapnap cuts him off with a kiss, feeling Dream relax against him.
"Like husband material?" Sapnap teases, feeling breathless at the grin on Dream's face.
"Yeah. Exactly. Like I want to have kids of my own with you, and I know that's a bit fast but we've been joking and it sounds really nice."
"You're such a dork," Sapnap laughs, kissing Dream again. "I know I'm in love with you and would love to have wonderful little gamer babies with you."
Dream snorts. "You've ruined the moment."
"Good. Now let's go get matching stuffed porcupines from the gift shop and hang out with Austin and I'll finally get to kiss you goodnight."
"I'd like that," Dream smiles, and Sapnap feels a wave of calm and contentment settled over the two of them. Austin charges into Sapnap's legs a moment later, demanding to be picked up (pray for Sapnap's back), and it feels like they're a little family, even if it's a new relationship and Austin's not their kid, but it's good all the same.
(When Austin gets picked up by his parents two days later, Dream gets to hold baby Emily and coo over her while Sapnap takes pictures.
"Coolest uncle," Austin says, high-fiving Sapnap rather than Dream.
"Did you guys do anything fun?" Peter asks. Dream's sister holds the baby, looking nervous and exhausted but warm.
"We went to the zoo and I got a friend for Alfie! And then Uncle Clay and Uncle Nick held hands and it was awesome!"
"They held hands?" Peter raises an eyebrow.
"They're boyfriends!" Austin announces to his dad, and Peter and Clara nod and smile, maybe a little stiffly, but Sapnap's too happy to care. Austin has been his and Dream's biggest supporter so far. "Now come see Alfie 2!"
The innocence and excitement of children is Sapnap's new favorite thing, as well as Moosie's existence and how Dream kisses him.)