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Luz smiled to herself, eyes roamed back and forth across the room, following the quick steps of Amity as she paced back and forth around the art room, emoting in a way that Luz had a feeling was not the other woman’s usual.
This was something else entirely from what she had seen and from the back of the room, her pencil sketched quickly across the paper, quiet scratching noises, drowned out by Amity’s voice. Her eyes flickered down only on occasion to check her lines before going back to watching Amity’s steady back and forth pace.
The thirty-some-odd students that made up the school's GSA all sat and listened on bated breath as Amity gave a long, impassioned speech about the spectrums of sexuality and gender identity.
Luz had taken a gender studies class herself in her junior year of college and while she had found the reading interesting, her professor had been pretty lackluster to say the least.
Now, if Amity had been teaching that class? Luz would definitely have attended more of the lectures.
“But if you never date any guys, are you still really bisexual?” A student waved their hand, drawing Amity’s attention.
“You can define yourself however you want, even if your interest is minimal at best. If you feel bisexual describes you, then use it. If not, then don’t.” She move to the whiteboard and drew a long line with stops on each end and one in the very middle, coloring one side red and the other blue. “Sexuality is not this side or this side,” she tapped each side of the board. “You can exist here.” She pointed to the far side of the red. “Or here.” She tapped it three-fourths the way down.
Luz watched her start to move around in front of the line. She had noticed over the last two weeks of meetings that Amity moved with the pace of her brain. It was fascinating to watch her become so passionately inflamed and move around the room like she couldn’t keep still. She wondered if her English class lectures were half as impassioned as the ones she gave to their GSA students.
“The problem comes from people’s tendencies to want to label things, but people are always in a constant state of flux and are resistant to easy categorizing…”
“What’s flux?” A student blinked and Luz grinned to herself as she watched the English teacher make an exasperated face but it vanished nearly as quickly as it came. Luz still caught it.
“Always changing and moving,” she explained. “People are always changing, from year to year, day to day and second to second, were never really the same in any given moment to one that came before and our sexuality is no different. Maybe your whole life, you’ll stay on this side.” She pointed to the board again. “We’ll say this side is gay, but over the course of your life, you’ll be here, here, or even here.” She moved her finger to vastly different places along the line.
The kids and Luz watched her with rapt attention, Luz’s pencil never stopped its quiet scraping.
“But you’d still define yourself as gay, wouldn’t you?” The class murmured in agreement. “The same applies to gender identity. You can define yourself however you want, it’s all a spectrum. Maybe one day you feel more masculine and the other, not at all. Other people don’t get to decide how you feel.” Amity finally stood still as she faced the group.
“Is it true that bisexual people are more likely to cheat?” someone asked and Luz immediately felt herself bristle, as did apparently several other students in the room, who turned on the kid in the blink of an eye, shouting and griping.
“I was just asking!”
“Stop, stop!” Amity held up her hands before a mob could form among the group.
“No, that is not true. Your sexuality plays no part in your ability to keep promises or your hormones in check. You’ll have to assume responsibility for that yourself.” She leveled them all with a look.
Just in time for Luz’s phone alarm to go off.
“I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today, you guys!” Luz called and Amity blinked.
“Oh, that went fast,” she murmured. “Remember to bring Ms. Noceda or I, your permission slips before the end of the day Friday or you won’t be allowed to work at the book drive Saturday!” she called at their retreating backs.
The teens hurried out, waving and calling goodbyes before the two of them were left alone in Luz’s classroom.
“That went a lot faster than I thought…,” Amity hummed as she walked over and started gathering her things off Luz’s desk.
“Time flies when you’re lecturing,” Luz chuckled, closing her sketchbook but Amity frowned.
“Do you think I talked too much?” she asked, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “If they wanted to hear me lecture they could just join my honors literature class…”
“What, no!” Luz jumped up, shaking her hands. “You were great, inspiring. If my gender studies professor had half as much passion when he lectured, I would have actually attended more than two lectures all semester.” She grinned and Amity scoffed, turning her head away, hiding the warm tint on her cheeks.
“Well, I had a great genders study professor who was extremely passionate and I suppose it rubbed off on me.” She shrugged, shouldering her bag.
“Lucky,” Luz nudged her with her elbow as she walked up and slid her things into her backpack. Amity smirked, watching her from the corner of her eye.
Luz moved about with a bounce in her step, despite it being the end of the day. Amity likewise admired her energy and passion...
And backside…
She could just slap herself… and strangle her sister.
She might have been able to go the rest of the semester without developing this burgeoning attraction to the art teacher. Luz was cute, sure, incredibly funny… intelligent…
‘Stop it!’ She scolded herself.
“So…?”
She looked up to find Luz looking at her.
“Oh, sorry, what?” She cleared her throat, embarrassed.
“I asked if you wanted to get coffee or something with me Friday night after we get the rest of the permission slips and figure out how we’re gonna divide the kids up at the drive.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure.” She agreed and Luz beamed at her, not at all making her weak in the knees.
“Great! I could use some coffee now, actually,” Luz said, plopping herself down in her desk chair. “We’re doing self-portraits til the end of next week and some of my students are so resistant….,” she groaned, leaning back so far in the chair, Amity was worried she was about to capsize.
“To doing their portraits?” Amity crossed her arms and leaned her hip on the edge of Luz’s desk.
“To anything!” Luz threw up her hands. “I have this group of boys in my last class that just sit in the corner and goof off the whole time. At first, they just joked really loud with each other in Spanish until they realized I also spoke Spanish.” She rolled her eyes and Amity cocked a brow.
“How could they not know you spoke Spanish? You’re… well…” Amity wiggled her fingers at her, trying to think of a way to describe her coworkers' obviously darker complexion and Luz laughed.
“I know what you mean, yeah. All this American-Dominican.” She winked and Amity felt her temperature go up about a thousand degrees.
“I dunno… I can’t get them to do anything, all they do is goof around and distract the other students,” she sighed and Amity nodded sympathetically.
“There are always going to be students like that in every class. Even in art, gym, or all the other less strictly academic courses. They just don’t want to do anything.” She shrugged.
"I guess… art is fun though!" She insisted, jumping up and moving to the wall where several paintings were hanging on the wall. "Being able to do and make anything you want! Vibrant color, deep, contrasting grays… you can literally do anything!" She held her arms up, gesturing to them.
Amity chuckled as she walked over to better look at them.
You know I teach creative writing in 5the morning, right?" She smirked and Luz made a tsking noise.
" I mean… I guess.."
Amity shot her a look.
"I'm kidding! I love reading and writing as much as the next person… but, you can't use color in writing!" Luz argued and Amity snorted.
She wasn't going to argue with the excited art teacher as she turned her attention to the paintings.
All of them were quite striking, though most had that touch of a novice. A few small mistakes here and there. Definitely Luz's more advanced students though.
One in particular Amity found herself drawn to. A landscape of a desert at night. The time of day depicted being just after sunset. The pale hues of pinks and deep purples, a halo of light on the horizon of the mountains and above, a sky full of stars. Blues, blacks, and purples swirled together. The initials 'LN' in wispy yellow lines at the bottom corner told her what she had already assumed.
"This one is beautiful, Luz," she mumbled in awe of it.
"Thank you! I did that for my oil course final my senior year of college. Landscapes are a lot of fun." She beamed and Amity nodded. "I'm gonna guess you like the starry sky bit?" She asked.
Amity looked at her, surprised.
"I've seen your phone case, with the moon and stars on it." She shrugged, smiling knowingly and Amity pinked, nodding.
"Well… I need to head home… I'll see you tomorrow." Amity turned to her and Luz nodded, sharing a brief wave and a smile before Amity was gone out the door, the click of her heels echoing on the tile floor before it faded out.
Luz glanced around at the art hanging from the walls.
Her honors art class didn't work on the same curriculum as her art I and II students, they were building up their portfolios for art school with her help.
They spent their time, not working on assignments, so much as on pieces of their own, with Luz's guiding hand.
They made some fantastic art.
She wanted them to do some realistic portraits, like her art I class but with a twist. She would need to make one as an example but hadn’t yet settled on an idea.
She went back to her bag and pulled out her sketchbook and started flipping through the pages. The first few had some landscapes. The school grounds, the backyard of her mom’s house, and the view from outside her third-floor apartment’s balcony.
She hummed thoughtfully and flipped a few more pages, where there was no shortage of people in the other half of her book.
Eda, asleep at a faculty meeting. Raine, staring fondly at asleep Eda. Amity at the copier in the teacher's lounge. Lilith getting mad at Eda asleep. The janitor, sweeping, Amity, chewing on a pencil as she graded. Then a couple of her mom. Her cousin Vee playing with her dog at Sunday night dinner. Amity leaning against her classroom door… Amity reading a book in the cafeteria… Amity drinking coffee at her desk… Amity lecturing the GSA today…
There were… a lot of sketches of Amity in her book.
She quickly flipped through it again, and yes. For all the other people she had drawn the last few weeks, there were nearly twice as many of Amity…”
“Huh…” Luz cocked her head thoughtfully. They were all pretty good. Amity had the kind of face artists dreamed of. Strong, sharp jaw and high cheekbones, clear, expressive eyes, beautiful hair…”
Luz stared hard at the sketches for a long moment, sudden realization slapping her right in the face.
Amity was beautiful…she was…
“Ay dios mio….! She’s perfect for this project!” She all but hopped over her desk and jogged to her personal little corner of the art room and grabbed a canvas and charcoal stick and started to sketch.
~ ~
Friday came fast thankfully. Amity stood in front of her bathroom mirror brushing out her hair, finishing getting ready to go and meet Luz at the coffee shop that her friend Gus apparently owned with his dad.
Maybe she was taking a little longer than usual in getting ready for this, very much, business meeting for the GSA but there was no crime in taking her time to look nice. She didn’t often go out on Friday nights anyway. Might as well make the most of it.
“Is lipstick too much?” she asked her reflection.
“Depends, you got a hot date?”
Amity yelped, jumping away from the mirror to glare at her brother standing in the open bathroom door.
“Edric! Didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock!?” she snarled.
“Well, sure, but the same people also taught me that you don’t need to knock when the door is left wide open.” He grinned and Amity scowled. “Come on, where ya going?” he wheedled.
“I’m meeting my cosponsor for the GSA to discuss assignments for our kids at the book drive tomorrow.” She glanced at him in the mirror as she turned back to her reflection, still debating lipstick.
“So, for some old teacher, you’re getting all dressed up? Are you sucking up?” He cocked his head and Amity scowled at him.
“No!”
“Oh, you're going out to meet Luz? Emira’s head popped up around their brother’s shoulder. “So you do have a thing for her!”
“I do not have a thing for her!” Amity groaned. “We are having a totally platonic school business meeting about assignments for the club.”
“Your red ears tell a different story.” Emira smirked and Amity could feel herself turning even more red while the twins broke out into matching grins.
“Okay, so maybe I think she's intelligent and funny… attractive,” she mumbled the last bit. “But the fact is this is just club business…”
“Does that upset you?” Emira asked, crossing her arms, and watched her sister carefully.
“No, of course not. I enjoy spending time with Luz…, besides, we’re coworkers, it wouldn’t be right…”
“Isn’t your old music teacher married to my old chemistry teacher?” Ed threw in and Amity frowned.
“I’ve only known Luz a few weeks, I’m not sure of anything right now….” she sighed, running a hand through her auburn locks.
“Like how she feels about you?” Em asked and Amity sighed.
“Like even what my feelings are towards her.”
“Sounds like a crush to me.” Ed smiled before turning and leaving the bathroom.
“I hate to agree with him but…” Em shrugged. “Go with a light pink, not so flashy but more noticeable than a nude,” she advised, nodding to the lipstick tube still capped in Amity’s hand.
“Thanks,” she smiled at her before being left alone in the bathroom.
She finished up and quickly headed out. The daily grind was not far from her house and it was easy to spot with its pale blue painted brick. The late February cold was brutal and she couldn’t feel her nose when she finally got there.
The place was warm, bright, and smelled of sweet, sweet coffee and she needed it now.
“Hey, Amity!” She looked toward the sound of her name and felt her heart speed up against her will when she spotted Luz waving at her from a little booth against the wall, a couple of folders laid out in front of her on the dark wood table, as well as a tall steaming mug of tea. She was dressed pretty normally in a dark purple hoodie and jeans. “You’re just on time…” She stopped and seemed to look a little harder. “You look nice tonight.” Luz smiled at her and Amity felt a prickle of pride at the comment.
She’d opted for warm. A thick, leather jacket over a cream-colored sweater and jeans. Relatively simple but she had done her hair and added the lipstick, which she normally didn’t bother with for school.
“Thanks, I’m going to get some coffee. Do you have all the permission slips?”
“Got ‘em, right here!” She held up the folder and Amity nodded, slipped off her jacket, and laid it in the booth.
“Great.” She turned and hurried off to the counter to get something to drink. Luz couldn’t help but watch her go, she needed to better memorize some things for her portrait after all. She arranged the papers, half watching Amity from the corner of her eye. She did look pretty tonight. Luz’s fingers itched for a pencil but she brushed aside the compulsion.
She could do that later.
When Amity came back it turned business, dividing the kids into groups for stations at the book drive, though it didn’t take more than an hour, after which it devolved into bouts of school gossip and joking.
“Eda’s not that bad!” Luz insisted, grinning. Amity shot her a dubious look at that.
“I’ll admit that she must have… some redeeming qualities if Mx. Whispers stays with her,” Amity admitted.
“You’re not a student anymore, why not just Raine?” Luz asked, and Amity nodded, sipping on her coffee.
“It’s just habit… and respect I guess. I liked them a lot, still do. They’re a good teacher. Patient, kind, and understanding. Even if they end up not taking away any lessons about English, I at least hope my students think of me as fondly later on as I do of Raine,” she admitted. “That I could at least be someone they turned to when they needed help or someone to listen…”
“I think that's an admirable thing to aim for,” Luz agreed and smiled softly. She watched, fascinated as Amity’s face darkened and nervously pushed a few loose strands of hair back behind her ear.
“I suppose…,” she mumbled, turning her eyes to her coffee. The place was quiet at this time on a Friday night. Just a few other people sitting together in the booths and talking quietly or working on their laptops. The lights were dim and quiet music was playing overhead. Luz felt…relaxed and content, sitting here, watching the English teacher fuss with her coffee.
It was nice to have a quiet, unhurried amount of time to sit and talk to her outside of school. The more she learned about Amity personally, the more fascinated she was.
“I mean it, really. I know some of our students are lazy and just don’t care but some of them, they have it rough at home and don’t feel like they have anyone they can talk to, they feel like no one could understand. I can relate to that.” Luz leaned forward, playing with her teacup.
“Yeah, my parents were too busy wrapped up in their business stuff to even notice what my siblings or I were doing,” she agreed, leaning in. “Music class became my refuge from it all,”
“Mine was art, obviously,” Luz chuckled. “Oh, and Azura…”
“The good witch, Azura?” Amity perked and Luz nodded. “I loved those books as a kid!” She grinned.
“What did you think about the end?” Luz leaned in further, eyes wide and full of wonder, making Amity giggle.
They got lost in long rants about the plot twist at the end of the series.
“After seven books all leading up to an epic romance between Azura and Hecate only for the author to shove her with Malengale at the very end? It was fucking bullshit!” Luz threw up her arms and Amity snorted coffee out of her nose.
“Oh my god, Luz.” She half-laughed half-choked.
“Oh, sorry!” Luz fretted grabbing some napkins and handing them over to Amity.
“I’m okay,” she laughed, dabbing at her face. “I’ll be right back,” Amity smiled at her before siding out of the booth and heading to the bathroom.
“Sure!” Luz watched her disappear around the corner and she was left there smiling stupidly to herself.
Movement in the corner of her eye made Luz look over at the counter. Gus was there, giving her this weird look, and had his phone out, grinning.
She cocked her head as the young man grinned and fluttered his eyes. Her eyes narrowed at him, confused. Gus sighed and turned to his phone, typing something out quickly.
Her phone went off in her pocket and Gus pointed at his phone and Luz dug it out of her pocket and opened the text.
'First date looks like it’s going wellllll 😘’
Luz’s whole face turned bright red and she sputtered indignantly before she furiously typed back.
‘THIS IS NOT A DATE!’
She watched Gus look at his phone, frown then type something out before looking up at her, a single eyebrow cocked upward.
Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked at it. Staring back at her was a picture of herself, looking at Amity with a dopey, half-lidded expression as they leaned across the table toward each other, talking. She stared at it for a long moment before a text followed it.
‘You sure look like a smitten dork on a date to me.’
Luz stared at the text and photo for a handful of seconds before a realization smacked her in the face like a runaway train.
All the sketches, the staring, and the funny feeling in her gut when Amity went on her passionate tangents for the GSA.
She could swear she heard glass shattering somewhere.
She had a huge crush on Amity…
“You okay?”
Luz went rigid, her face flushed as she looked up at Amity, sliding back into her side of the booth.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, trying to settle herself. “I’m fine… uh, we should probably head out, the book drive starts early after all,” she reminded and Amity frowned but nodded.
“Yeah”
Luz stood, shoving her phone into her pocket. They walked outside into the cold, dark, winter night.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Amity smiled at her and Luz nodded, waving jiltedly as she walked away. Once Amity was out of her sight she reached up, burying her fists in her hair.
“I like Amityyyy….,” she squawked. “What am I gonna do?” she groaned as she walked to her car.
Tomorrow was going to be a day…
~ ~ ~
Luz arrived at the book drive early. The library was already swarming with people and staff, all setting up for the long day ahead. She could see the head librarian, Malphas, directing the volunteers, some of her kids among them who had been texted their assignments first thing that morning.
She hadn’t spotted Amity yet, for which she was glad.
Luz couldn’t decide if she wanted to see her or avoid her!
Well, she knew what she wanted. She’d laid in bed last night for hours, contemplating exactly that.
She did like Amity, a startling amount when she allowed herself to think about it. She enjoyed being with Amity, sitting and talking while they had lunch or stood out in the halls during passing period.
She also wished to be far far away from her.
She winced just thinking about her dating track record. Short but storied in its own way.
Either way, she liked Amity and they worked well together on the GSA… they were coworkers, she couldn’t jeopardize all of that!
“Hey.”
Luz nearly came out of her skin as Amity appeared at her side, hand pressed to her chest as if that would keep it from beating so wildly against her ribs.
“Are you alright?” She frowned and Luz nodded.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I was just thinking and I didn't see you coming,” she admitted, running a hand through her hair. Amity’s eyes narrowed more concern than suspicion.
“Are you sure?” Her tone held that concerned lilt that made Luz melt inside and she nodded, trying to figure out how to get her suddenly dry mouth to form words.
“Yeah, no worries.” She nodded, smiling in what she hoped was a reassuring way. Amity seemed to buy it.
“If you’re sure. They're about to open the doors and let the people in, the kids should be taking their marching orders from Malphas, so, we just need to walk around and keep an eye on them. Braxus is their president. He knows to come find one of us if something is wrong.”
“Right, I can do that.” Luz nodded. “I will… uh, go make the rounds,” She shot twin finger guns at Amity before hurrying away, leaving Amity to watch her disappear around the corner with a frown.
Luz found herself spending the majority of the book drive when she wasn’t checking on her students, hiding from Amity.
Pathetic, truly.
She sighed, sitting on the steps of the library, eating her lunch. A Ham sandwich she’d gotten out of the library vending machine.
It smelled okay… was ham usually this color? She sighed and tossed it in the bin after a few bites.
She could see Amity eating with some of their students at the benches on the library’s front lawn. Where she wanted to be, but she suddenly felt so awkward around Amity. Like she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was historically bad at handling crushes.
She groaned, leaning back on the steps.
“¿Qué te tiene tan decaída, mija?”
Luz blinked, looking back over her shoulder.
“Mami?”
Her mother stood above her on the steps of the library, holding a couple of books and looking at Luz with that patented, worried expression she had worn throughout most of Luz’s teenage years.
“What are you doing here?” Luz sat up as her mother stepped down and situated herself next to her.
“Picking up some holds I had, what are you doing out here?”
“My GSA kids are doing the book drive,” she nodded over to the benches.
“How come you aren’t with them then? They look like they’re enjoying themselves… and you don’t,” her mother said knowingly.
“I just…” She glanced at Amity, biting her bottom lip. Camila followed her gaze.
“Are you having trouble getting along with your coworkers? Lilith said you were fitting in great.” Her mom frowned.
“No, I am, I am. Amity and I get along…. awesome…,” she mumbled, eyes flickering back to Amity. “Maybe too awesome… I think I have a bit of a… crush,” she murmured, face pinking.
“And she’s not interested?” Camila asked. Luz shrugged, scratching the back of her head.
“Oh, I dunno, I haven’t even thought about trying. I mean, she’s my coworker and my cosponsor for the club and I’m just… ya know…,” she said and her mother clicked her tongue disapprovingly.
“You are a wonderful, thoughtful, and incredibly skilled artist and teacher, and anyone would be lucky to have you, Mija.” Her mother insisted.
“Of course you say that,” she huffed and Camila reached up and flicked her forehead. “Ay, Mami!”
“I say it because it’s true,” she frowned at Luz who rubbed the spot and mumbled reluctant agreement. “You are Luz, and if someone doesn’t see that, it’s their loss.
“What if trying messes things up between us?”
“Just do what you think is right for you, Luz. If you think it's worth trying, then try. If you’d prefer to keep things the way they are, that’s fine too, but don’t let fear stop you.” Camila reached up and rubbed her back. Luz nodded.
“Right… thanks, mom.”
“Anytime, bebe. I need to head home, remember dinner tomorrow night. Eda and Raine are coming over too.” She reminded as she stood and walked down the steps.
“I’ll be there,” Luz called after her before looking over where Amity and the students were eating and took a deep breath before hauling herself to her feet and walking over.
Kevin, one of her freshmen, saw her first.
“Hey Ms. Noceda!” they called, making the other teens look up and call out greetings.
“Hey guys, how’s lunch? She asked, plopping into an open spot next to Amity. The teens were all trying to talk over each other and tell her about how their day had been going. She half-listened as she glanced at Amity out of the corner of her eye.
The English teacher was looking at her curiously and Luz just smiled, prompting one in return. Luz took particularly intense notice of the sparkle in her amber eyes and logged it away.
The rest of the book fair went by smoothly and Luz made the rounds with Amity, remembering with sharp clarity why she liked spending so much time in the other woman’s company. Amity had to be one of the smartest and wittiest people Luz knew. She was never short on commentary as they walked around.
Before she knew it, the day was over and the kids were picked up or drove home, leaving the two standing alone in front of the library.
“I think our first charity function went quite well, don’t you?” Amity asked, smiling and Luz nodded, watching the lines of her face as she did. Sharp and smooth in equal measure.
“I think so, and they had fun!” She grinned.“A rounding success all around, Ms. Blight.” She tipped her head, making Amity laugh.
“Indeed, Ms. Noceda, but I have to get going. My classes' essays aren’t going to grade themselves, unfortunately,” she sighed.
“Right, good night, Amity.” Luz waved as Amity walked away, waving at her over her shoulder.
Once she had disappeared, the itch reappeared. The one that made her fingers twitch to fold a pencil or a brush and she knew that she had to follow it.
She all but sprinted to her car and jumped in.
The school wasn’t far and she made it within a few minutes. The sun was still up and shining brightly through the windows of her classroom. The perfect light.
She pulled off her hoodie and grabbed her apron before finding the charcoal sketch she had done the other day and got to work.
~ ~ ~
She wasn’t sure what time it was, maybe three or four in the morning if she had to guess.
But she was done and the itch had settled.
Luz took a step back and stared at her completed painting, the oils would take a while yet to dry, so she would need to put it in the storage room unless she wanted some grubby-handed freshman touching it and smudging all her hard work. She wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about students seeing the painting anyway.
A three-quarters view of Amity from the shoulders up, all in magentas blues and purples. Wispy clouds swirled about her head and stars weaved between her hair. A Warhol esq interpretation color-wise, but the colors suited her.
Anything suited her…
Luz leaned back against her desk and sighed, admiring her work.
“Dios… ella es tan hermosa…” she mumbled, running her hands through her hair. “What am I gonna do?” she asked the quiet room.