Chapter Text
“Oh well isn’t that just great.?Just fucking great,” Xander mumbled as he threw the t-shirt in the hamper. And today of all days. When Mister Broody was coming for a visit. Not to mention that Spike was sleeping on Xander’s couch.
Yeah sure, he knew it would happen eventually. It did every two months or so but still…it just wasn’t fair. He started to poke around in the bathroom closet. Somewhere…he had to have some left over from last time. Oh yeah! Good…and some tape?
“Tape tape tape” Xander pulled a few things out of the closet searching for the tape. Finally, after almost panicking, he found it behind a box of tissue paper. The scissors were found in the mess by the sink and Xander started getting things ready.
He picked up the box of pads “Tampax,” Xander said in an high-pitched girly voice “Made to go unnoticed!” He took out one of the pads. And how embarrassing had it been to buy those? “And the biggest freaking pads ever made by mankind.”
He placed the pad over the…um…yeah he didn’t really know what to call it…The hole? That sounded like a really lame sci-fi flick from the 60’s. Or maybe a gay porn one. Was there such a thing as lame gay sci-fi porn flicks from the 60‘s?
The tape came next, making sure the pad stayed put and didn’t slide off. He cut a few more pieces of tape off the massive roll and stuck them to the pad and his skin. Just to be sure. He put a clean t-shirt on and looked in the mirror above the sink. Nope, he was pretty sure nobody would notice it. He let his hand run down his left side stopping just under his ribs. As long as none of the girls tried to hug him he’d be okay.
Xander looked in the mirror again and said “Yep. You people just move along nothing weird here. No sir. No unlicensed bodily openings here.” He closed his eyes. Man, did he hate coach Marin. Sure the guy was dead but that didn’t really matter.
Xander was pretty sure there was a universal rule that stated that it was okay to hate the person responsible for giving you an unnatural, not to mention unwanted, new orifice.
Too bad the bastard had gotten himself eaten. Xander wouldn’t have minded kicking the jerk's ass.
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Well well well. Wasn’t that a treat. Spike smirked when Xander came out of the bathroom. The whelp smelled all sorts of nice. Pheromones coming off him in waves. There would be plenty of demons to fight when they went out patrolling tonight.
Spike had never been able to figure out why the boy would smell so damn good every few months. Bloody attractive. If they could bottle that scent they’d make millions on the demon market.
And Peaches was coming to Sunnyhell today. Spike sniggered. He was going to have so much fun watching his Sire brooding over the boy and his scent.