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The Irodori Festival in Ritou was in full swing, and after several long days of mystery-solving and searching for answers, Aether just wanted to have time to himself to explore the festival. Paimon wanted to go explore the food stands (as expected), but he had other plans. Stopping by the photo board, he got someone to take a photo of the two of them with their faces in the holes, and then they went and got some of the new limited-time drink from Sailing Breeze.
“They really outdid themselves, didn’t they?” he mused aloud as he glanced at the banners of Ei and Miko proudly flying above the festival.
“Yeah!” Paimon agreed with a cheer. “There’s so much food here…”
Aether let out a sigh and shook his head. “That wasn’t what I was talking about, but whatever. There is a lot of food, but I kind of want to check out some of these books.”
Paimon nodded once. “Oh right! We haven’t gotten a copy of the Inazuma Teyvat Travel Guide yet! We should do that.”
The Teyvat Travel Guide… Alice definitely had an interesting way with words, but even though her anecdotes weren’t always the most useful to the average traveller, Aether had often amused himself by chuckling over them before bed when camping outside for the night.
He vaguely remembered where they were being sold, and followed Paimon as she floated off in that direction. Everywhere they went, the air was filled by the sounds of the different vendors explaining aspects of their work to interested customers, people chatting about their favourite light novels (there was some interesting praise about “Shogun Almighty: Reborn as Raiden With Unlimited Power” that he overheard and had to snicker), and kids running about as they played in the streets. Ritou was livelier than he had ever seen it, and it brought a smile to his lips.
Not only had the vision hunt decree been ended, but also the Sakoku decree as well. The bards from Mondstadt, entrepreneurs from Liyue, other foreigners from Sumeru, Fontaine, Snezhnaya… Ritou was finally back to the international port it was intended to be. It had only taken him nearly dying at the Shogun’s hand, of course, but Aether tried to not think of that too often.
“Hurry up, you slowpoke!” Paimon called from the top of the stairs. “Paimon bets they’ll be sold out by the time you get here if you don’t~!”
With a laugh as he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, Aether hurried up the stairs to the Yae Publishing House’s stall. Paimon giggled when he pointed out the multiple copies of the book (and Klee’s little picture book sitting beside it) as if to prove that he could have taken his time. Regardless, he grabbed a copy and paid for it with a few clinking mora coins.
“Thank you for your patronage!” Murata said as she waved. Aether waved back and stowed the book away in his bag before walking back down to where some of the other stands were. He vaguely remembered that some of these people wrote fan works instead of original light novels, and honestly he thought that was pretty cool.
Over the years while travelling together, he and Lumine had often spent hours sitting together and imagining different endings to their favourite stories. There was this unique thrill about suddenly being in control of a story they loved that made it feel addicting, and Aether honestly understood why these creators did what they did. Maybe he should pick up a few to read on his travels as well as the original novels they were inspired by.
Who knows, maybe he would pick up the pen himself at some point.
Stopping by Ishida’s stand, Aether couldn’t help but smile as the author eagerly talked about his passion for creating fanfiction and his pursuit of happiness. When he said he wanted a copy of everything the man had on offer, Ishida’s face lit up like one of Yoimiya’s fireworks. Moving on to the stall run by the man who was definitely not named Kowabunga Icky, Aether finally took pity on him and gave the man his first sale of the festival.
Whether or not it was 40% off was not something Aether would disclose even when asked. “Outlander Brigade” would be an interesting read, he was sure, and maybe Ikkei would get his first fan if it was as good as the man claimed.
Expecting to peruse more interesting fanfiction about martial arts, the Guuji-Definitely-Not-Yae, or the Shogun, Aether was caught very off guard when the cover of the books at the next stand showed two (barely clothed!) men caught in a passionate embrace. For a second, he stared dumbfounded at the giant 18+ marker in the corner, wondering if that was even allowed at a festival like this.
The title made his eyebrows raise even more and at his silence, Paimon looked over his shoulder curiously.
“The Foreign Diplomat’s Sugar Baby Is Liyue’s Favourite Heartthrob!?” she exclaimed as she read it out loud. “What kind of trashy novel is this inspired by!?”
“I don’t think this is inspired by a novel, Paimon,” Aether muttered under his breath as something clicked in his mind. But… that would mean that whoever wrote this had to know a few specific acquaintances of his—
Slowly, he lifted his gaze to look at the person manning the stall, and Aether opened his mouth to say something before stopping and shaking his head. In front of him sat someone quite familiar, wearing the shit-eating grin he had come to expect from the 77th director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. Unlike usual, though, Hu Tao sported some different clothing, darkened glasses, and… a fake moustache?
“Hu Tao,” Aether said, exasperated, as he rubbed at his temples, “what are you doing here?”
Her grin only widened. “What are you talking about? My name isn’t Hu Tao.”
Pursing his lips and staring at her, Aether wasn’t sure if she was just trying to prank him. Paimon scoffed and put her hands on her hips. Clearly, even she wasn’t fooled by this terrible disguise either.
“You’re obviously Hu Tao! I’d be surprised if these books don’t have coupons for your funeral parlour in them!”
“Nope!” she said with a laugh. “I’m definitely not Hu Tao.”
Aether wanted to roll his eyes and wonder what he did to deserve this, but sighed and decided to try humouring her a bit.
“I’m going to pretend I believe you for a moment,” he said in a flat and disbelieving voice, narrowing his eyes. “You’re supposed to be who, now?”
She cleared her throat and deepened her voice in a way that was obviously faked. “Yes.”
“That was so terrible!” Paimon gasped as Aether looked up at the sky and reconsidered ever walking in this direction. He wasn’t religious and wasn’t even from here, but Archons give him strength to deal with her.
Taking a deep breath, Aether looked back at her. “What?”
“My name is Hu Nao!” She exclaimed in that fake-deep voice. “Nice to meet’cha.”
Paimon groaned and rolled her eyes. “That’s it, you’ve gone nuts.”
“Whaaaat, no!” Hu Nao replied. “Nuts is my little sister!”
Vaguely, Aether remembered something about Hu Tao’s name meaning walnut in Liyuen and wanted to bury his face in his hands.
“Hu this, Hu that!” By now, Paimon was flailing her hands around wildly. “If you don’t give us a straight answer soon, the only Hu anyone will hear about is Hu DunIt when they ask where you went!”
At that, she let out a huge peal of laughter and threw her head back. “Oh that’s a good one! Fine, fine, you got me—but really Hu Nao is my pen name so I’m not lying either. Check for yourself.”
Ignoring Paimon’s frustrated ranting next to his head, Aether glanced back down at the fanfiction on the table. It did, in fact, say Hu Nao was the author. “Do Childe and Zhongli know about this?”
“Hm?” she tilted her head to the side. “Who says it’s about them?”
Instead of answering, Aether just matter-of-factly gestured to the covers which—now that he looked more carefully—featured a redhead and a brunet caught in a compromising position. Hu Tao just smiled wider and leaned forward over the table.
“So? Are you planning to buy a copy? They’ve been selling really well, you know.”
Having seen the two interacting back during the whole Rite of Parting ordeal, Aether grudgingly had to admit that a story about characters based on them likely would be quite popular. There had been a few times he had been tempted to leave the room because of how strong the sexual tension was, after all.
Although…
“Fine, I’ll take one.”
Ignoring Paimon’s scandalized screech of “WHAT!?”, Aether forked over the mora to pay for a copy of the raunchy work. Hu Tao counted the coins and nodded, passing over a book. He pointedly didn’t look at it as he put it in his bag.
“How did you even get into Inazuma anyway?” Aether asked tiredly, remembering the whole issue with Venti’s invitation letter. “Pretty sure all foreigners had to be invited.”
She leaned back in her chair. “What, do you think I just snuck in? No, no, no, why would I do something like that? I was invited too, you know.”
“For what? Offering your services to anyone who gets blasted by a ruin machine?” Paimon scoffed, to Hu Tao’s amusement.
She seemed pensive for a moment, as if considering the business opportunity, then shook her head. “Didn’t think of that unfortunately, but that’s a clever idea, though. I’ll have to look into it. Anyway, clearly you haven’t hung around Liyue long enough to know, but I’m quite the poet. My Hilitune is pretty popular, after all. Sometimes my new compositions are good enough that Zhongli doesn’t look like he wants to kick me out of the room when I bust in on his private time with that diplomat to recite them!”
For the sake of his sanity, Aether was going to forget she ever said that and move on. The clock was ticking and he wanted to get to other parts of the festival before dark.
“Well, thanks for the book, but I have to get going,” he told her, turning away to leave.
“Wait, before you go—” She practically lunged across the table to stop him “—let me introduce you to someone! We just met and we’re great friends now.”
When he turned back, Hu Tao gestured over to the table next to hers. Sliding his gaze over, Aether wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Sitting next to her, waving politely, was Kamisato Ayato—except he was also wearing a mask and a fake moustache. It did absolutely nothing to hide his identity, but apparently no one else had recognized him somehow.
“His fanfiction—Sakura Blossoms and Dandelion Fluff: Swept Off Her Feet—is really good, I’m very invested in his characters,” Hu Tao told him, completely ignoring his confused and nearly horrified expression. “You should check it out! It’s all about a high-class lady and her loyal retainer and oh, it’s so romantic!”
So… the Yashiro commissioner was also writing fanfiction about people he knew—his sister and Thoma, no less!
Paimon grimaced as she floated over the table. “Ayato!? You too!?”
“Shhh, don’t call me that,” he whispered. “My pen name is—”
Aether covered his ears. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
Ayato chuckled and smiled, seemingly not offended whatsoever, gesturing to the books on the table. “Do you want one?”
“You definitely should,” Hu Tao cut in. “Rothschild’s valiant attempts to get Lady Asagi to see him as more than a servant are really fun to read.”
Aether looked at Ayato and his stupid fake moustache (it didn’t even match his hair colour!), down at the books, and back at Ayato again.
“Unlike Hu Nao’s… mature… works, mine are entirely appropriate for all ages,” Ayato remarked. “Please go ahead, there’s no need to worry about the content.”
“Pssssh,” Hu Tao scoffed as she rolled her eyes. “He only says that because he’s too much of a coward to just have Lady Asagi wear some lingerie and—”
Ayato all but knocked over a table in his effort to cover her mouth before she could elaborate further. “And she will not be doing that. Their relationship is still innocent and they’re shy.”
Paimon crossed her arms next to his head and scoffed as she floated there. She seemed entirely unimpressed by the outburst and looked convinced that they should just leave these two here and go get some food instead. “There’s no way Aether would buy something like—”
She was cut off by Aether grabbing a book, handing over the mora, and shoving it in his bag.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” she yelled. “You’re really going to read that!?”
Aether ignored her until he had thanked Ayato and Hu Tao for their time and turned to walk away. Once they were out of earshot, he smirked and looked at her.
“I don’t want to embarrass Ayaka too much but, Paimon, I think I need to send a package to Liyue…”
The next time Aether visited Liyue, Childe saw him passing the bank and came running out to meet him, book in hand.
“Traveller, hey,” he said, looking somewhat out of breath as he came to a stop in front of Aether and Paimon, “where did you get this book?”
Paimon laughed and smirked. “We got it in Inazuma. Can you believe that someone was writing stories like this about you and Zhongli—”
“Oh no,” Childe said, smiling widely as Zhongli stumbled out of the bank behind him with a flushed face, looking a bit worse for wear, and—to Paimon’s slowly dawning horror—was that a hickey on his neck!?
“It was really good, actually, and I would like to personally offer some suggestions for the sequel!”