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____: a long dash would mean a different time of a different day.
__: a short dash would mean a different time of the same day.
Chongyun’s palms were sweating profusely as he sat across Xingqiu in Wanmin restaurant. What could have been the occasion? If he hadn’t realized before, Chongyun would think that his congenital positivity was being triggered every-time he was a few steps close to Xingqiu. The mere feeling of heat within his body would have sent him to a frenzy of panic.
When he had felt this strange tingling the first time, he utterly lost his cool. He didn’t even know what had caused such a feeling at that time. When he had realized that he would only feel like this when he was close to his best friend, he had avoided any sort of proximity with Xingqiu for almost a whole week. However, he gave in to his friend when he saw how upset Xingqiu was by his uncalled distancing. What he had found out from this was that, he hated to see Xingqiu distressed in any sort of way. Even by all these obvious signs, Chongyun didn’t come to realize his true feelings for Xingqiu until a few months ago—
The duo were on their way to terminate a few hilichurls and quite possibly, a Lawachurl. The sun was beaming harshly, unlikely to be a good sign for Chongyun. They both collectively decided to fight off the mere monsters as quickly as possible before taking shade from a nearby Sunsettia tree.
When the camp had detected their presence, they were immediately on guard as they paced towards the two. Xingqiu elegantly slashed his sword towards a bigger enemy and his guhua swords striked on the opposite side repeatedly. Chongyun took this opportunity to slam his claymore right into the enemies territory, who had now been frozen in place. Their teamwork looked natural and stunning, with the continuous strikes of the guhua swords and the icicles activated from Chongyun’s claymore which stole all the chances of the enemies to ever be moving until they were defeated entirely.
However, they might’ve forgotten about a measly hilichurl. It had hid behind a wooden box quite perfectly, completely out of sight. Without warning, Chongyun caught ahold of a mini pyro slime being thrown at him. His reflexes were quick enough to move his hand toward the slime. Only after moving his hand did he realize how risky it was. His weapon wasn’t light enough to be picked up at the right time to slash it on spot. Therefore, he could only grab the pyro slime by his own hand and throw it to the side; at least this had saved his face from any burns. His hand, however, was completely grazed from the burn. He must’ve let out a slight yelp because Xingqiu had shifted his focus from the monsters to Chongyun. His eyes immediately glazed with instant worry as he ran to his friend.
“‘Yun!” Xingqiu scurried over quickly, grabbing the hand that had moved out of instinct.
“Ah.. let’s fight them off, first. I’m merely hurt,” He had said, wielding his claymore firmly again. The enemies seemed to have started moving again and Xingqiu quenched his worry for now, even though his eyes were fixated on Chongyun the entire time.
—
As soon as Xingqiu successfully defeated the final hilichurl with hurried strikes, he immediately shifted his gaze to Chongyun and rushed towards him once again.
“Does it hurt, ‘Yun??” He worriedly spoke as he gently picked up his hand and went over the burn, to check for any severity in the wound.
“I told you… merely,” Chongyun chuckled soundlessly at his friend as he let him do whatever he wanted.
“I don’t want to hear it. Come to the shade first, you require healing,” Xingqiu commanded, his words firm and no room for discussion, quite similar to how his father sounded when he would come to a final conclusion during business gatherings.
“Yes, yes,” Chongyun shook his head before they had walked under the mid sized tree. Xingqiu moved closer, intertwining their fingers as he passed on energy like he did whenever Chongyun would hurt at times.
Chongyun didn’t know why, but something stirred up in him. He had this sudden urge to move even closer to Xingqiu and his face began to heat up profusely. The feel of his friend’s hands interlocked with his made him somewhat alert to the situation. He had never felt like this before when Xingqiu held his hand so how was it different now? His ears started turning red as he squeezed Xingqiu’s hand unconsciously. The latter looked up at Chongyun in confusion, their face laced with a strain of worry.
“Are you feeling pain, ‘Yun? I’m trying to be as careful as I can,” he softly spoke, his brows knitted.
“I-I’m feeling pain, …yes” He wasn’t quite thinking of the few next words, “Can I hold you?” the words slipped before he could even control himself.
“..Huh?” A light tint formed at Xingqiu’s cheeks as he tried processing what his friend had uttered.
“I feel… like I need to hold you to.. ease this pain,” he was bluffing. However, Xingqiu seemed to follow along. Whether he believed his stupid lie or not, Chongyun couldn’t figure out.
Their hands separated, just for their whole body to press against each other. Chongyun’s body shook slightly as he took in the younger boy’s scent, engulfing his mind completely. In this position, if he focused hard enough, he could feel their heartbeats line with each other in sync. His hand squeezed shut as they started sweating and he held onto Xingqiu tighter, wanting this warmth to be the only thing that comes near him.
“Does it feel better, ‘Yun? I’ve passed on energy, and the burn seems to be gone,” Xingqiu uttered in between their hug. Chongyun didn’t nod nor did he shake his head; he just stayed in that position for as long as he could imagine, simply just replying with a ‘Mhmm’ before he got back to focusing on their heartbeats.
It was quite possibly the most pleasant sound he has ever heard because it felt like they were one. The beats synchronized beautifully and it was fast. He wondered if Xingqiu had the same strange feelings as him? Was his friend’s mind also completely filled with the latter? Did Xingqiu also get restless and forget his bearings whenever he was close to Chongyun?
Chongyun couldn’t help but wonder helplessly. That day, he had figured out his feelings by a small step.
——
“My dearest Chongyun, are you feeling unwell?” Xingqiu looked beside him as they sat in Wanmin restaurant. He could see that Chongyun’s palms were sweating for some unknown reason. The food wasn’t spicy and he made sure it was to his friend’s taste by making sure Xiangling wouldn’t add in something suspicious without his knowledge.
“No, I’m good,…” Chongyun looked over his friend with a small smile before setting his chopsticks down. He then shuffled around before he faced Xingqiu. His face was flushed and his body seemed to shake a little.
“Listen… I want to tell you something,” Chongyun began, his voice only above a whisper.
“Hmm? Alright,” He turned to Chongyun as he looked at his friend and wondered if his friend was actually fine or not; Chongyun’s face betraying him.
“..Let’s go to the hall close to the pharmacy; it’ll be quiet there,” Chongyun commented as he looked over his friend for assurance.
“What has got my dearest to suddenly be so secretive? I’m quite enjoying it,” Xingqiu chuckled slightly before he stood up from his seat. “Let’s make our way, then. The scenery there is quite beautiful today,” he took Chongyun’s hand on his own, not caring one bit of how his friend’s palms were unnaturally warm and sweaty.
Chongyun could only bite his lips to prevent himself from spilling his confession right then and there, trying his hardest to not embarrass himself in front of the bustling crowd.
“Xiangling, we’ll be on our way. The food was delicious as always!” Xingqiu blurted in a loud voice so his friend was able to hear his goodbye.
“Sure, have a safe trip then! Until next time, both of you!” Xiangling replied with a grin on her face.
_
As they arrived, their views were filled with huge, tall mountains and several seasonal trees with lots of pretty flowers blooming. Chongyun knew it; this was definitely a place to confess. He had come here for a few days to check how the trees were growing and over the state of it, along with the breathtaking scenery. As soon as he started getting closer to Xingqiu, he began to care about these subtle things, finding the meaning behind everything like Xingqiu always did. He loved the way his friend thought, always.
“Aha, it is quite an endearing sight, right, my dear Chongyun?” Xingqiu spoke with a smile as he looked between the mountains and his friend.
“…I had picked this place with the thought of you, ‘Qiu,” He started; he was nervous, but he wanted to get his point across. Xingqiu turned to him and smiled as he heard him, thanking his friend for the kind gesture.
“Xingqiu, for so long, we had been through everything together.. and it had brought peace in my body and heart. You reassured me with your presence; I could only hope I did, too. I’m not good with words like you are,” His face was heating up and he was so unsure now that those simple words just couldn’t come out of his mouth anymore. Just what if he ruins everything today?
“Dearest ‘Yun, are you alright??” Xingqiu’s friend, for the first time in a while, was saying such things. Why did it sound like something bad was about to happen?
Chongyun simply nodded his head before he walked a step closer and placed his hand on Xingqiu’s shoulder, catching the latter off-guard and more focused on him, their eyes meeting. This could at least give him the confidence to continue and be a little more sure of his words, “We had been friends for so long, but I don’t want to be just that anymore now, Xingqiu,” he huffed deeply as he let it out, his hand shaking.
Xingqiu felt the tremor quite readily, but his friend’s words made his whole mind go blank. What did he mean..? Chongyun didn’t want to be his friend anymore?
“..Chongyun, what did you mean by that?” he could almost see the hurt on Xingqiu’s face when he looked up to see a reaction. And, that hurt him.
“I-I mean… uh,..” He couldn’t speak anymore because he felt like the face made by Xingqiu was a form of rejection towards his confession.
“Why did you say we can’t be friends anymore.. I don’t understand you, Chongyun,” his voice quivered. Xingqiu who was so bright and beautiful this morning was now all hurt. He was still as beautiful as ever but Chongyun didn’t want to see him wear such a weary expression.
“I almost want to pretend I never heard you say that. I-I don’t know how to understand why… but I’ll respect your desicion, Chongyun,” His eyes closed tightly. He wasn’t calling Chongyun sweetly by his nickname solely given by Xingqiu anymore. Chongyun was really rejected, right? He saw it coming and it exactly hurt the way he thought it would; maybe a little much, much more. His expection has been met yet why was he so blue? He ruined their friendship; that’s exactly what he did.
If only he learnt how to control his feelings better.
“..Xingqiu, I’m sorry for feeling this way, I can’t help myself.. I don’t know why but I started feeling so much more for you than a friend would. I don’t feel normal but I can’t control it. The way our fingers would intertwine whenever you’d heal me with a worried look on your face, the way you’d simply let me lay on your lap as you loudly read your purchased books from Wanwen and would solely read them out for me, the way you’d make sure my food would never be spicy to make sure I’m always healthy, the way you’d wrap your arms around me and hug me tight for no particular reason. Everything bought me so much comfort… that I had begun feeling much more than I should be allowed to,” For the first time, he couldn’t stop talking. He was hurt that he just let it out. At least let Xingqiu know how much it meant to him; he thought of it that way.
Xingqiu now seemed to be blushing from head to toe. ..What?! When Chongyun said he didn’t think of him as a friend anymore, this is actually what he meant? Goodness, why couldn’t Chongyun be more specific instead of making Xingqiu assume the worst?
“I understand if you don’t feel the same, Xingqiu… I don’t expect it. We had been friends for so long, it’d be difficult to turn it around,” He just kept speaking to ease the hurt by a little but it wasn’t working. His eyes were dropping down and the hand that once held onto Xingqiu’s shoulder firmly now loosened.
Xingqiu sighed before he bought his hand to Chongyun’s and intertwined them together, just like how Chongyun had mentioned before he locked his eyes at him without his gaze faltering. “‘Yunyun, please look at me,” the nickname was back and Chongyun felt a moment of peace and therefore he looked at Xingqiu, who wore a flushed face.
“Does this face look like it could ever reject you? Why did you start assuming you were the only one feeling this way?” Xingqiu began, leaving Chongyun confused… but hopeful.
“You got me all confused by saying we couldn’t be friends anymore. Of course, I was hurt. If you told me how you were feeling right away, would I ever have to wear such an expression like I did before?” Xingqiu pointed out, almost as if he was scolding Chongyun.
“…What? I—“ What was actually happening here? So, Xingqiu thought he wanted to just.. break off their friendship?? Wasn’t Xingqiu the dull one here for making such a bizzare assumption in the first place?
Were they both this air-headed?
After a minute, the air turned tranquil, “…’Yunyun, so you’re saying you.. like me? More than a friend would? In a… romantic way?” Xingqiu’s voice grew quiet and he looked up at Chongyun coyly as he spoke those words, his eyes shining with glee and hope.
“..Yes, I do. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to say it,..” Chongyun looked back at Xingqiu with a flustered expression, his eyes roaming around awkwardly as this was all too new to him.
Next thing, he heard Xingqiu chuckle before his face was grabbed and kissed. Xingqiu’s hands could somewhat get ahold of Chongyun’s head as he stood on his toes and connected his lips to the latter’s. He hated to admit it but Chongyun had gotten a little bit more taller this year. Sigh, when would it be his turn?
The sudden grab and kiss completely caught Chongyun off guard. His eyes were now as wide as marbles as their lips pressed against each other. Xingqiu’s were soft and plump and to him, his ones felt chapped and cold. Their lips were tightly closed, showing the inexperience they both held at their age.
When they both parted, Chongyun seemed to have regained stability and this time, he was the one to get ahold of Xingqiu, grabbing him by his waist before connecting their lips again. He slipped his tongue in which caused a gasp to escape from Xingqiu before he parted his as well. Their tongues were twisting as well as uncoiling and it just looked like an overall sloppy first kiss, but it felt impossibly passionate. Their bodies were emitting off heat as they held each other that way for as long as they could imagine before running out of breath, parting to regain their strengths once again.
_
“Say, when did you start liking me?” Xingqiu began. They were currently seated in the hallway as they faced the mountains, relaxing into each other’s embrace, with Xingqiu’s head on Chongyun’s lap, the latter’s fingers running through the blue-haired boy’s hair.
“..Remember that one commission we did together? The sun was blazing, and we were fighting off some monsters when I injured my hand. You started healing me with our hands intertwined.. like this,” He said as he moved his hands to Xingqiu’s and held onto it gently, his face burning from how bold he was being. “That was when I had realized my feelings for you,” He finished.
Xingqiu went red as they held hands, his heart racing from the explanation. However, he was excellent at teasing Chongyun at anytime of the day. “Wow, Chongyun, who knew you could be like this??” His head looked up to Chongyun and he gave off a wink. Chongyun only cleared his throat before speaking up.
“And you? When did you.. like me?” It went silent for a while before Xingqiu answered.
“Ever since we crossed paths, dearest. Despite my constant pranks and the inconveniences I might’ve added for you, I’ve always done it because I’ve loved you ever since. Would you believe me if I said I had planned to confess to you, too?” Xingqiu smiled up at him.
“..Xingqiu,..” Chongyun’s heart tightened from the exhausting amount of love he felt for him at that moment, the amount of excitement he felt as he leaned his head down and kissed Xingqiu once again on the lips, short and lovingly. “I love you. And, I’m sorry it took me time to come to my senses. Maybe I had loved you since the very beginning and you were the one to realize it first,” He said with a little regret in his tone. If they both knew about each other’s feelings from the very beginning, wouldn’t that mean they’d have lived half their lives together as lovers?
“Why are you sorry, ‘Yun? We can start as lovers now, too. Now that I think about it, weren’t we always together anyway?” Xingqiu giggled, calling Chongyun silly words with affection.
The two continued to share everything they’ve held deep in their hearts that one evening, and they’d shared more kisses than they could count while smiling goofily at one another and teasing the latter with everything Xingqiu got. That day, their relationship held a stronger meaning.