Archive of Our Own ^beta

“No.”

“Come on, Papa.” The kid whines in protest, stomping his feet on the floor and hands flying in the air. They’ve been at this for an hour at the least and his father is not having any of it.

“Still a no.”

“But Dad said YES.” 

He nuzzles up close to the man, reaching for another technique now that throwing tantrums didn’t work. And gently rubs his arms, putting on his most irresistible face, pout and all. This had never gone wrong. 

“Choi Sian, a NO is a NO.” Well, everything has a first, doesn’t it?

“Papaaaa…” 

The man pays no heed to the ruckus, continuing on with making his breakfast. By this point, the whole neighbourhood must have known about the dilemma their son has. But no. He’s not going to falter anymore. 

“What’s all the noise about?” Soobin joins them in the kitchen, an unmade tie hanging on his neck as he pours himself some juice. His white shirt is neatly pressed, and his hair is styled clean, and his dress pants are perfect.

The kid saunters off to the new addition in the room and takes a seat beside him on the dining table, “Papa doesn’t agree.” 

Soobin looks puzzled for a second but then his face morphs into that of realisation as he understands why his husband is so grumpy while his son is sulking all the way to his forehead. A breathy chuckle leaves him at that.

He walks up to the man frying eggs, stirring aggressively with a spatula in front of the stove, never once looking up. How he doesn’t receive a good morning kiss is enough indication that he isn’t in a good mood. But Soobin can fix that. He knows how to do it.

So, he sneakily slides his arms around the other’s waist and showers kisses on the side of his neck. His husband has always been sensitive around his neck but Soobin doesn’t miss any chance to kiss them. Like right now. 

His husband is upset? Kiss his neck. He’s happy? Kiss his neck. He’s angry? Kiss his neck. Simple.

“Choi Soobin!” He turns around, facing Soobin. The eggs are already cooked and the heat turned off. A stern look is there on his face and Soobin realises, although a bit late, that he shouldn’t mess around today. His husband is scary when he’s mad MAD.

“Both of you are just the same,” he fumes, “Choi Sian, come take your breakfast. And you! Here’s yours.” He slides the plates across the counter, some eggs and bread with a couple berries and jams. 

“Calm down, Beomgyu.” Soobin holds his hands, taking the spatula away and leading him to the dining space. Despite his head being a mess, and his ears red from fury, Beomgyu lets him be. 

By the time they are all on the table, only the sounds of steel cutleries hitting the clay plate resonate in the house. Well lit and well made, that is the definition of their home. 

Decorated in hues of beige, white and brown with all their furniture except the couch made from the softest shade of brown woods and wooden floors. There are various bunches of dried flowers hanging upside down on the walls in an aesthetically pleasing manner as well as numerous photographs splendidly framed, a  memento of some good days among many that they spent in the past.

“Did you have your milk?” Beomgyu says, but doesn’t wait for an answer. Simply stands up and heads to the fridge to retrieve it. 

“Dad, please.” Sian whispers to his dad across the table taking advantage of his papa’s absence, and Soobin mouths him a ‘what’. The kid pouts furthermore in annoyance before he points to Beomgyu who is currently blending up some milk, bananas and apples. 

“Make papa agree.” He manages to say and Beomgyu is there with them again.

“You know I can hear you guys, don’t you?” 

Sighing deeply, Soobin puts down his fork, “Look Beomie, it’s not that bad. He’s already 15.” 

Beomgyu glares at him while Sian shrugs his shoulders as if saying ‘Dad’s right. I told you so.’ And he’s trying so hard to not lose his cool. He breathes in and out, soothing himself down.

“That’s the point, hyung.” He finally says, “He’s only 15. And we won’t be there. He’s going to be there in Germany without anyone to take care of him.”

“I’ll be fine, Papa.” Sian interjects before Soobin could answer, “It’s not like I’d be living alone, uncle will be there. And besides, you have taught me enough to survive by myself.”

Beomgyu looks at him, still sceptical. To him, Sian’s still the little kid he met years ago, with sleep in his eyes waiting for his dad to pick him up from the kindergarten. In just a blink of an eye, he grew up, now the handsome young boy he is. 

Too fast, he thinks. He still has a lot of things he wants to do with Sian. But now, he’s asking permission to leave home and stay in Germany to pursue his passion for Badminton. He knows he shouldn’t be this dramatic since Soobin’s brother and his family are residing there and he’d be living with them. 

But still, he can’t help the woe and emptiness that would follow once Sian is out of his sight. Maybe, the time has come for him to finally let his son fly on his own, let him be independent and instead of holding his hands and supporting him, he should watch from afar and watch as Sian stumbles and falls only to rise on his own. 

It will be hard, he knows. But this is something unavoidable and he has seen it coming since the day he decided to be a parent. Slowly, he leans in and plants a kiss on the crown of his head, wishing all that he wanted to say gets conveyed through it. 

*

The first time he came across the father and son was during his mandatory voluntary job at the end of his university years. As a major in child psychology, being a kindergarten teacher for three months seemed like the best option at that time. 

Luckily, he found one kindergarten in search of a stand-in for one of the teachers on maternity leave. He didn’t know he would receive much more than a certificate for voluntary service. 

On his second day, he stayed behind with a kid, waiting for his dad to pick him up. He was quiet and reserved, playing alone in the playroom with the building blocks peacefully. It took him a while to warm up to him. 

“What is your name?” Beomgyu asked, crouching down to meet the child’s eye level, with his hands around his legs. However, he didn’t get any answer. The child completely ignored him and moved around the colourful blocks to get what he wanted to build.

Beomgyu moved closer when he turned away and with a sweet smile, joined him. They each built a skyscraper of different colour and Beomgyu made sure that his was wobbly and not placed properly so that it could fall off with a little push. When it did, he put on a sad face and the kid laughed at him. 

“Will you be my friend?” He tried again, sticking his pinky out and the kid, with his baby teeth on full display and a lone dimple, and crinkled eyes had linked his pinky with his. He felt a sense of accomplishment at that, heart blooming with warmth at the innocent smile. 

After a round of clay moulding, a man hurried in through the door. 

“Sian-ah, Choi Sian.”

“Dad!” The child, delighted at the voice, ran up to him and the man embraced him in a safe hug, lifting him in the air. 

“Dad’s sorry for being late.”

Beomgyu stood there as he watched the whole exchange, a wide smile plastered across his face. He had studied child behaviour and expressions for six years and just by one look at them, he can make out how much love they have for each other. How precious, he cooed.

Nothing is luckier than receiving love from your family.

“Thank you for looking after him.” 

He was so engrossed in marvelling the family love that he didn’t sense the man’s grateful eyes looking at him. He could only smile sheepishly and wave excitedly at the kid as they left. 

Just like the child, the dad also has black jet hair, super deep and adorable dimples and the crescent eyes that close themselves when they laugh. And his body proportions were every suit tailor’s dream. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s not going to have a crush on a kid’s father, and a taken man. It’d be so unprofessional of him. And mind you, Beomgyu is professional as hell.

One thing he hates so much is waking up early. It’s not his fault that he wasn’t born an early riser. So, when he had to wake up at the break of dawn and go to the kindergarten at seven to get ready for the day.

He had to make sure that the toys were in place and the room was well ventilated. It’s an obligation, but he did it anyway flawlessly. Because when the kids arrive and enthusiastically greet him, it felt like the sleep sacrifice paid off. 

The room he is assigned to is filled with little humans, talking about their little adventures, a perfect start to another day. That was when he recognized the voice that always arrived when the day wound to an end. 

“Bye-bye, Sian-ah.” He saw the man at the door saying to his son through the window. He knelt down, booped Sian’s nose and gave one last hug before the child padded across the hall to the room, his tiny hands holding tightly onto his lunch bag. He looked adorable. 

He didn’t realise he was staring until he felt Ms. Min’s presence by his side. He almost jumped out of skin when she spoke so close.

“Aren’t they so sweet?” She said, clutching the storybooks against her chest. Beomgyu chuckled a little as a response, they are indeed sweet. Just then, a thought occurred to him.

“But Ms. Min, why haven’t I seen Sian’s mom? Is she a busy office worker?” It’s true. It’s been a couple weeks since he started his job here and he had never seen her. It’s always the dad dropping the son as well as picking up. 

Ms. Min inched closer to him, and whispered in his ear, “Sian’s mom passed away.” It was not a pity that he felt, neither was it sorry. If the other parent is mindful, the absence of another is at most forgettable.

“But the thing is,” Ms. Min returns in his ear, “Sian’s dad is also not his dad.”

Now Beomgyu was curious. He snapped his head to the woman with furrowed eyebrows in confusion. Just what was going on?

“The man who just went away is actually Sian’s uncle.” She said with a heavy heart, “Maternal Uncle. Both Sian’s parents died in an unfortunate accident and his father’s family didn’t seem to care that much for Sian so Sian’s uncle took him in as his own son. They moved from Ansan so that no one could make Sian uncomfortable with the fact that he calls his uncle, dad. But sadly, I happened to be from Ansan too. It really breaks my heart. ” 

Sian was in front of them playing with another kid, laughing joyfully without a care in the world. Suddenly, Beomgyu couldn’t contain his empathy for the poor child. If he could, he would run up to him and embrace him. No one deserves this. A child? Never.

Later that day, he was reading Sian a storybook while waiting for his dad to pick him up. And unfortunately, the child had fallen asleep on his lap halfway through. With everyone gone, the kindergarten is quiet except for the occasional sound from the other room from the cleaners. 

Ms. Min passed by and softly smiled at him, “Did he fall asleep?” She was already in her clothes, ready to head home. Beomgyu scrunched up his face and smiled. He couldn’t blame the kid for getting exhausted, could he?

After a little while, he could feel his legs going numb from the lack of circulation thanks to his uncomfortable position on the floor. But Sian was sleeping so soundly, snuggled up against his belly and he didn’t have the heart to make any movements. He’d rather get paralysed than disturb a child’s dream.

Nonetheless, he was rescued soon. Sian’s dad entered the room quietly, in a blazer and tie and a bag in his hand. Typical office worker look. 

The first expression he made was that of surprise. Because as far as he knows, parents are supposed to enter only as far as the hallway by the door, not inside unless they are called for. The second one is that of an amazement. Sian’s dad, despite being at the end of the day, looked dashing. He had to mentally slap himself for the last thought.

“I’m so sorry I’m late again.” He says softly, and if Beomgyu thought his voice when he bids Sian bye everyday was sweet, then this voice was deep yet mellow, enough to comfort anyone. For the first time, he couldn’t be more thankful to God that Sian found a dad like him. 

“N-no no,” he answered like the stupid person he was, flustered for no reason, “I-I like spending time with Sian. No worries.” 

The man saved him from the embarrassment by choosing to focus on his son instead. 

“Sian-ah,” he called oh so sweetly, “Dad’s here.” But Sian didn’t even stir, too deep in his nap. 

“He’s sleeping so well.” Beomgyu supplied, moving away the bangs from the child’s eyes and smiling fondly. And briefly, he wondered if he had the same texture of hair as his dad. They’re related after all. 

The other man extended his hands to take Sian, placing his bag on the floor, “you must be tired. I probably should carry him home.” 

He lifted him and the child whined in his sleep, gently holding him to his chest, firm arms securing him well and the other hand adjusting his head on his shoulder. He stood up, about to leave, but then he remembered the bag on the floor. He’s not going to lie, it’s a bit hard and awkward to squat or bend down while holding a sleeping mini human.

Beomgyu quickly noticed and picked up the bag, handing it to him. But the face he made was not very pleasant. He immediately winced and closed his eyes as his hands flew to his frozen limbs. The sudden movement didn’t help him. 

Soobin nearly let out a laugh but quickly schooled himself, “I’m so sorry for the trouble again.”

“Ah no, no. It’s no big deal.” He gave him his most assuring smile and Soobin couldn’t help himself from smiling as well. 

Sian didn’t wake up when he placed him in the back seat of his car, fastened up the child seat and strapped it. He must have been so tired to be so deep in sleep.

He didn’t want to be late. But he couldn’t help it. The company is super busy and he didn’t trust anyone else to take care of Sian. Though it might be tiring for Sian, he had no choice but to choose a kindergarten that ended a bit late, one that offered caretaking after school hours. 

After what happened to his sister and brother-in-law, he couldn’t even risk trusting his driver. Behind the smiles that tried to suck up to him, were sickening humans waiting for a chance to pounce on them. His sister made the mistake of believing their false facades and left her loving son alone in the harsh world. 

It’s no secret in the two families that the accident wasn’t actually an accident. The investigation had found a cut brake wire in their car but somehow, the detectives had changed it to a road mishap. 

It had felt unfair, very unfair to him and on behalf of Sian, he wanted to uncover everything. But he couldn’t. He was well taught of the consequences by his father, the chairman of their company, that doing so would have more disadvantages than advantages, including Sian’s well being. He had bit the inside of his cheeks and held his temper down when the fake people came to pay their condolences at the funeral. 

No one was happy when he said he wanted to raise Sian. Not even his own parents. But for some reason, Sian’s grandparents seemed elated. There was also the case of raising him as an uncle. But that meant no ‘dad’ for Sian. While there were many he could call ‘uncle’, there were no one he could call ‘dad’. And Soobin didn’t want to rob him of that. 

Sian was only two years old when he signed the papers. Choi Sian, son of Choi Soobin. His parents were very unhappy with the decision he had taken. 

“You would never get to get married, Soobin-ah. No one would want to marry a man with a child that isn’t even your own.” His mother had said. 

“Why is marriage important? Don’t you care about your grandson? He’s your daughter’s son, for God’s sake.” He had yelled at his mom. And his dad soon shut him up.

“We have already lost our daughter, Soobin. We don’t want to lose you too. You don’t know what that family is capable of.” 

Soobin understood. But he didn’t agree to his parent’s suggestion of leaving Sian in that household. And he swore he would take care of Sian even if he was on his own. Something shifted then and the relationship between him and his parents became a sensitive topic. If he wanted to have one, he had to disappoint someone else at least.

“Dad,” Sian mumbled one night. It was still a bit early to go to sleep yet they were already in bed, Sian lying atop on his chest, cheek pressed against his neck. They were playing a while ago and they were both very tired from the day. So, they decided to lie on Sian’s makeshift bed, bounded by tall wooden poles for safety.

To be honest, Soobin rarely sleeps in his room these days. It’s always here, with all the stuffed toys and cottony soft mattress right above the floor and the hanging stars from the ceiling. There were also many stickers and drawings pasted in the wall opposite to the bed and that was always the last thing they saw before they drifted to dreamland.

“Hmm?” Soobin answered sleepily. He could go to sleep right then and there but putting Sian to sleep was a task he couldn’t skip. He stroked the small back with his thumb hoping he would fall asleep. But it wasn’t working.

The kid was wide awake, toying with the neck of Soobin’s t-shirt, and even asking questions although his body had stilled unlike an hour ago when he kicked his feet relentlessly.

“Why don’t I have two parents?”

The question drove all the sleepiness away and now Soobin was as active as an owl. It wasn’t that he got shocked by it or anything. He and Sian were very open about almost anything. He taught him to be. It was just unexpected.

“Why?” Soobin chuckled, “Do you want two?”

What shocked him was the way his son sat up abruptly and gave him a curt nod. The sparkle in his eyes shone brighter than the stars in the night sky and Soobin’s heart sank at that. He gathered himself, patted his head and held his little hands.

“Sian-ah,” He called softly, “can you tell dad why you want two parents?” Am I not doing enough as a parent? He asked himself.

The child climbed off him and laid down on his stomach beside him, swinging his legs playfully while his head was propped on his hands.

“Jiyeon said she has two parents. One to buy her snacks and another to play with her.”

He laughed at the silly answer. Kids.

“Is that why you want two parents?”

“Yep,” Sian replied cheekily, smiling so widely that even his gums were visible, “I want to play more.”

Soobin’s expression fell. A terrible wrench went straight to his heart. Yet, he could do nothing but to gather his son in his arms and mumble the apologies that he was all too familiar with. There was a lot he needed to be sorry for. For being late, for not having enough time for him, for always getting tired.

“But dad,” The child enthusiastically started again, “I played a lot with Gyu ahjussi in the kindergarten.”

“Gyu ahjussi?”

“He’s a new teacher. Everyone calls him Gyu ahjussi.”

He smiled softly at the narration, “It’s good that you’re having fun.”

There was a beat of silence after that and Soobin thought the child had fallen asleep. But just as he was about to follow, the head perked up right in front of him, with that toothy smile again.

“Dad, I have an idea. Let’s make Gyu ahjussi my other parent.”

He should have known why Sian liked this Gyu ahjussi so much. Because for one, Sian carries his family genes, the trait of being shy and aloof and it often makes it hard for him to make new friends or get used to other people.

So, right now, as he watched him play with his Gyu ahjussi in the open playground outside the kindergarten while waiting for him, he finally understood why.

Apparently, he was also the same person Soobin always saw gazing at them whenever he came to drop Sian and the one he always found Sian with when he was late. The guy was a literal sun, so ready to warm anyone, even someone as cold as Soobin and his son. The way he giggled along with Sian, lifted him in the air, held him when he was on the swing, everything screamed Sian’s comfort place. No wonder he liked the guy so much.

He didn’t realise he had been staring and smiling like a fool until another teacher saw him.

“Sian-ah, your dad is here!” She screamed. And both Sian and Gyu ahjussi came running to him.

“See you tomorrow, Sian-ah.” He waved at him with a smile so bright and uplifting that Soobin’s heart almost skipped a beat. 

Just like his son, over the next month, he was getting fond of the new teacher. Beomgyu, he told him his name. Choi Beomgyu. And he couldn’t think of a better name for him. They had some small talk every now and then when they met. But it was enough to have Soobin question his feelings.

Was he seriously falling for someone in this situation?

“I can’t.” He told himself, “I’m not a freaking teenager to go around crushing on someone when I have a son.”

What happened next couldn’t have prepared him for anything. 

He dropped off Sian like usual but his son’s favourite teacher couldn’t be seen anywhere. He craned his neck and tried his best to look subtle as his eyes searched for him but he wasn’t there.

“Maybe he took a leave.” He thought.

But the next day and the day after, he wasn’t there. He found Sian playing with Ms. Min instead. 

“Ahh. Mr. Choi Beomgyu? He was on a voluntary job for his resume.” She told him and he felt somewhat disappointed(?) 

But importantly, did he have the right to be? It was another person he came across, but the empty feeling he had, did it make sense?

Sian, too, sulked about missing his Gyu ahjussi at home. If it had been a week back, he would have told him about how he and Gyu ahjussi defeated a pirate and went on an adventure, not asking him what he didn’t know. Questions like ‘where is Gyu ahjussi?’

So, to make up for the playtime and divert his son’s mind from a certain brown haired man, he had to make ends meet and get off work a little early. His own father didn’t seem happy at his actions. But he’s the soon to be director, the next owner of the company his father will leave him, he could use some abuse of power for his son.

On much demand from the little human, they were on a trip to the amusement park. A weekend at the amusement park didn’t seem bad, did it? It didn’t. Until he lost Sian right in front of the entrance while he was paying for the tickets. Nothing could have compared the fright he felt momentarily.

Thankfully, he didn’t need to search much. Because the kid had wandered off to the nearby outdoor restaurant. And held onto a stranger’s trousers who was peacefully sitting on one of the tables, sipping icy drinks as he talked to another person. 

He trudged quickly over there among the swarms of people and maybe had a mind to scold his son a little. But he didn’t expect the stranger to pick up his son and hold him. It was only when he stood right in front of them, apology on his tongue that he registered who it was. 

Gyu ahjussi. 

He would have recognised it if it wasn't for the white cap the other wore. He greeted him politely as always, and his son looked so happy in his arms that he almost felt betrayed. Like come on, he was his dad and how come Sian was clinging onto Beomgyu like a koala?!

“Sian?” He called, but he didn’t turn around, even snuggling closer to Beomgyu’s neck, “Choi Sian?” Unbelievable.

“Didn’t you say you want to have ice cream? Come, dad will buy it for you.” 

Ice creams always did the tricks. But no. Sian didn’t move, completely ignoring him and Beomgyu could only chuckle nervously. Now, he was getting embarrassed. The other stranger who was sitting across Beomgyu watched them with folded arms, amusement written all over his face. 

“I’m so sorry,” He said, clearly sensing that he was interrupting something, and tried to pry his son away from Beomgyu, “Enjoy your er umm…”

“It’s not a date!” Beomgyu suddenly yelled, looking visibly alarmed, turning a shade red while the other guy stifled his laugh when he glared at him.

What was Soobin supposed to react to that? He did flash a not so convincing smile and took a hold of his son’s arms, pulling him away only for the said son to resist and whine, throwing a tantrum among tens of people of all places. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” Beomgyu soothed him, patting his back where he held him, moving his feet a little and it worked. The kid wrapped his arms tighter around his neck, not even once glancing at Soobin.

Choi Sian, you traitor.

“Are you going to visit the amusement park?” The other guy asked him, collecting his things and fixing his pants to go. 

“Beomgyu hyung, why don’t you go with them? This little guy here seems to like you a lot.” He said, tapping Sian’s head softly, with an expression only Beomgyu could decipher.

To spite him. To see him suffer. To tease him later.

“Ah it’s okay. Sian just needs to…,” he tried again to detach his son from Beomgyu, but it ended in Sian getting upset and yelling.

Now, here they were. With a bouncy four year old  holding their hands on either side, merrily skipping off into the bustling park. 

The weather is perfect for outdoor activities. Not too hot, not too cold. Spring it is. But Beomgyu’s mind isn’t. He really thought he wouldn’t be meeting this father and son duo now that his job was over. He hoped so too, for his own good. If they kept on running into each other, he wasn’t sure if his poor heart would survive.

And Kai? Fuck Kai. 

How dare he leave him like this? To add misery to his already miserable life. He knew exactly what the younger would say. And he wasn’t wrong. His phone dinged.

Was that the kid you found adorable in your last job?

The father isn’t bad either. 

And why did you scream? Didn’t want him to get the wrong idea?

Oh Beomie hyung, you got a crush >o<

He quickly typed a ‘ Shut up, Kai’ before his attention got driven to the little one calling for him. He bent down, fixed Sian’s cute bucket hat and crossbody bag, and the mini human looked so pleased.

“What do you want to try out first?”

“Horse! Horse!” The kid shrieked excitedly, pointing to the carousel in front of them. They were in the indoor part of the amusement park where the carousel, the static racing and some games were located.

Soobin smiled apologetically to him, “I’m sorry you had to be dragged into this. He’s usually not like this.” 

“No, please. I didn’t have anything better to do as well. Might as well enjoy myself too.” 

He told him hoping Soobin didn’t feel sorry again. Seriously, everytime he met him, he was always apologising that he’s starting to get annoyed. 

They rode the carousel, both of them standing by the horse Sian rode, one holding his back while the other held his hands where they gripped the horse tightly. Just like two protective parents. 

“His name is Terius,” Soobin told his son, signalling to the horse, and they both giggled, Beomgyu too. 

At first, he thought he would feel left out in some father-son hang out but no, it was like he had always been a part of their little world. One moment, Sian would latch onto him and the next, Soobin would ask if he could hold his hand, so that they don’t get lost in the crowd.

After some ice cream, they had some more fun. Sian and his dad were one team and he another, and they rode the bumping cars which if he were being honest, were a bit small for them. Soobin had Sian on his lap while he bumped into Beomgyu’s car and Beomgyu being the competitive soul he is, bumped back into them. 

Shrieks of laughter erupted and Beomgyu’s cheeks hurt from smiling too much. When was the last time he let himself loose? He didn’t remember. But he knew he’d never forget this day.

A trip of spinning tea cups and another round of roller skating later, Sian fell asleep. It was getting dark and Soobin carried him on his back while Beomgyu held the various items they bought. The park was sparse now, freer to breathe and move. 

“Thank you for today,” Soobin said tenderly, “I can tell he enjoyed it a lot.”

Beomgyu felt flattered and smiled bashfully. If he thought his cap was doing a good job at hiding the colour on his cheeks and ears, he couldn’t be more wrong. It was a good thing that he didn’t raise his head, otherwise the colour would have intensified on seeing how  Soobin was fondly gazing at him.

“He asked for you a lot even after you left.” 

The younger smiled, “I missed him too.”

Soobin dropped him home which was a total opposite to theirs, but the point is, he dropped him home. And for the sake of his heart, he chose to ignore how Soobin had opened the car door for him, held his palm over the edge so that he didn’t hit his head while getting in, adjusted the conditioning of the car and drove slowly and swiftly, making little chats with him. 

He also decided to ignore the way Soobin flushed bright red and scratched his neck nervously when Sian, having woken up, kissed his cheek at the front of his house, and told his dad to do the same. 

“Dad, kiss Gyu ahjussi goodbye.” 

He had only bowed slightly, not able to show his face and ran into his home. Enough blushing for today. Maybe, for once, Beomgyu would not nag Kai for leaving him alone with them.

*

And on their wedding day, Sian was the ring bearer. He was seven.

He looked the happiest among everyone, even sang a song for them. While Beomgyu’s parents looked whipped for their new grandson. 

He was really scared to break his desire to marry Soobin, the now Director of the famous medicinal drugs producing CC company. Not because he didn’t trust them, and also not because Soobin already has a kid, although technically not his but yeah. The only reason he was damn nervous was because his parents have always wanted him to have a peaceful life. Because in their argument, a family with publicity comes a family with irreversible problems.

And he knew very well about this. Soobin’s sister was a clear example. Thankfully, Soobin gave such a good first impression to his parents and the little angel had worked his miracles on them.

As for Soobin and him, it took them a while to be themselves with each other. Beomgyu had started hanging out with Sian more at the child’s request, at their home, in kids cafes and neighbourhood playgrounds. And somehow, he earned himself a place in Soobin’s heart too.

Who proposed first? Well…

It was a long proposal. Both of them kind of knew what would be coming but they didn’t rush. Soobin took his time in trusting Beomgyu more than anyone else in the world, told him all his fears, the past with Sian’s parents, his parents and all, and Beomgyu listened. He exposed everything like he was giving Beomgyu a chance to flee if he thought all of that would be cumbersome. He didn’t.

So, Soobin did. With a little help from Sian.

Soobin’s parents were also there. It was just a small wedding, with only close people. Kai was there, Yeonjun and Taehyun, two of Soobin’s friend-like medicine developers at his company, their immediate relatives and that was it. 

From now onwards, Sian was no longer Soobin’s son. He was their son. 

Everytime Soobin used ‘my son’ in his speech out of habit, Beomgyu would correct him. ‘Our son’, he would say, followed by a quick peck on his lips until he got used to it. 

They bought a new house, a detached one, on Beomgyu’s request. It was much nicer to live alone than to live in apartments. That was his excuse, but everyone knew he wanted a better environment for a loving family. 

They were in the garden, painting the patio and pulling out weeds to plant another set of flowers for the new season. See, another benefit of a detached house was this garden. Bonding time plus some productivity, the perfect combination.

Sian was in his rompers and hat, holding a little brush and helping Soobin paint the benches. They made Sian choose the flowers and planted them, watered them and Sian wished them to grow faster.

“Grow fast, my pretty flowers.” He whispered to every patch of soil. And the two proud parents looked at him with sweetness trickling out of their gazes. No one cannot love Sian, as long as they’re human.

They have made it a rule to have dinner together too. It worked so well since Soobin tends to bury himself in work. But now that he knew his husband and son would be waiting for him to have dinner, he’d have to come home in time. Can’t keep his baby starving, could he? 

Actually, Beomgyu considered himself pretty smart for coming up with this.

And another one Soobin came up with. Cooking. They only eat homemade food since takeouts are not particularly healthy. It didn’t bother them much since both of them can cook. If one is not available, the other would cook. And ofcourse Sian would always help.

“Dad, I helped papa make the soup.” He bragged to his dad.

“Really?” Soobin smiled, tasted it and marvelled exaggeratedly at the taste. It never failed to make Sian happy and proud of himself. It was the little things like these that made Beomgyu’s heart blossom with warmth.

“How was your day at the elementary?” Soobin always asked at dinner. And Sian would always narrate everything that he experienced and saw that day, whether it be good or bad. 

“We studied numbers and addition. And I got to feed the bunnies they kept in the playground. One of them was this big.” He said, his hands aiding for further understanding and Soobin listened to him with interest, adding comments of his own. 

This was one of the things Beomgyu was grateful to Soobin for. It’s very important to be comfortable in communicating with one’s children. You should make them comfortable to tell you the smallest things. If something goes wrong, instead of saying, ‘my parents will be mad,’ you should make them be able to say, ‘I should tell my parents about it’ instead. That’s the thing about parenting. It’s no one size fits all but everyone can develop a recipe of their own.

“How was your day?” This one was for Beomgyu after they had put Sian to bed in the next room and they were in theirs. 

“Nothing much.” Beomgyu answered, “I went for the interview, they said they would let me know if I passed,  did some grocery shopping and came back. And ooh ooh, I had some pork cutlet in the supermarket on my way home.” 

Soobin chuckled. He currently had his arm wrapped around Beomgyu, body pressed close to each other as they stared up their ceiling flat from the bed and Beomgyu playing with his fingers. It was the peaceful time of their day, the precious few hours they have to themselves.

“I know you’d do well.” 

Beomgyu snorted at that, “How do you know? I might have completely screwed it up.”

“No,” the older said with full confidence, “there’s no way my husband will not do well.”

The said husband thanked the dimmed lighting for hiding his blush but smacked Soobin’s chest lightly, “Gosh, you love me too much.”

“I do.” He pulled him closer, planting a kiss on top of the round head. 

But Beomgyu struggled out of it, and with a huff, supported himself on his elbows and rested his upper torso on the headrest. 

“What?” Soobin followed suit, obviously puzzled at the sudden change of demeanour.

“Choi Soobin,” He called out sternly, “am I your husband or your other son?” 

“Of course you’re my husband.”

“Then why do you keep on treating me like a baby. You…you can’t just kiss my head like that. Be more understanding.”

Soobin wanted to laugh. His husband was flailing his hands as he talked, upset and dissatisfied but the pout on his face and the fluffy hair on his head made it hard to look intimidating. 

“This is why I treat you like a baby.” He said.

And Beomgyu tried to jump off the bed, faking annoyance, “I don’t want to sleep with you.” 

Bless Soobin’s quick reflex for catching him before he did so. He pulled him back with a soft grasp on his wrist, other hand on his waist, firm and heavy as he looked into his eyes.

“What is it that you want, dear husband?” He asked, using the voice he had reserved for only one person. And Beomgyu grew red, fanning himself out of nowhere under Soobin’s heated eyes, looking everywhere but Soobin. 

“Why is it suddenly so hot?” He mumbled nervously, “I…I should go get some water.” He tried to escape again, but this time for a whole different reason. 

“Not so fast, Beomie,” Soobin pulled him back, hovering over him and successfully caging him in between the headrest and him. Beomgyu felt like shrinking, it really gets him burning red up whenever Soobin is like this. And maybe he was aiming for this.

“If not your head, then where do you want me to kiss?” He asked breathily. Beomgyu was trying desperately to calm down his breath beneath him, looking up at him with narrowed eyes, flustered yet challenging. 

“Here?” He asked and kissed his nose making Beomgyu whine. “Or here?” Another one on his forehead. “Or is this one better?” His cheeks. “I think this is where you like it,” on his forehead. “Or should I do here,” his eyelids.

And Beomgyu had enough of the teasing. He lightly pushed him away and scurried under the covers, covering himself. 

“Hey Beomgyu.”

“I hate you.” 

And Soobin laughed. Why was Choi Beomgyu so cute?

He slowly pulled down the covers and it revealed his glaring husband giving him his ugliest face. But when did Soobin ever find him ugly? 

“Beomie, look at me,” He cupped his face, “I was just fooling around.”

The younger didn’t falter, still boring holes into his face. But Soobin knew better. He placed a chaste kiss on the lips, and Beomgyu’s pout diminished a little. He kissed the lips again, this time lingering a little more, and Beomgyu held back a smile. One last kiss later, the younger was breaking out into a hopeless smile, so gone for his husband.

He was about to really give him what he wanted, diving in and capturing his bottom lip between his, tug and pull, make Beomgyu gasp and pant, roam his hands in his hair. But they heard tiny footsteps approaching and a shadow of a tiny human at their door which they left open for safety purposes.

“Papa, Dad.” Sian called out, rubbing his eyes, a bunny plushie in his other hand. 

Before he knew it, Beomgyu had sprinted off the bed to their son’s side, but not before mouthing a ‘you woke him up’ accusingly at Soobin. 

They slept together afterwards, with Sian in between them, cuddling together. Soobin had sneaked a hand above the child’s head to get to Beomgyu and the latter had smacked it off. A loving family, of course.

Every afternoon, a little before the sun had set, Beomgyu let Sian play with his friends outside in the playground. If he wasn’t busy, he would go out and watch them play all sorts of games. He wasn’t the only one. 

There was a familiar car that parked a little afar from the playground around the time Sian went out to play. He thought it was the best choice to ignore it and so, he didn’t tell Soobin or Sian.

Until one day, when he and Sian were on their way home from the convenience store, they found the car right in front of their house. Along with it was an elderly woman in a neatly pressed skirt and luxury handbag and glasses, grey hair tied into a sleek bun, standing on her toes and trying to peep into their house over the wall.

When she saw them, she was beyond surprised, flustered to be exact and reached for the car door. 

“Would you like to have some tea inside? I would really appreciate it.” Beomgyu invited her with his sweetest smile and most welcomed voice, just as she put one foot into the car. She seemed hesitant at first, but Beomgyu is Beomgyu. He managed to bring her in.

He watched her eyes roam their living space once they got inside while he was busy making herbal tea. He placed some cookies that Soobin baked last time on a plate and called for Sian.

“Go and give this to that grandma there. Call her grandma lovingly, okaie?” 

Sian trudged forward with the snacks and he followed him with the tea. As told, the child called out a cherry grandma and Beomgyu swore he could see tears glistening in the woman’s eyes.

They had tea together, Sian warming up to the grandma, sitting beside her and making random conversations with her. She looked so happy and relieved in that very short moment.

“He’s gotten so cheerful and approachable these days,” She said, looking at Beomgyu with an endeared smile, “he must have learnt it from you.” Beomgyu couldn’t be more proud of themselves.

When he went out to see her at the door, she held his hands in her wrinkly ones, “Thank you so much for taking care of my son and grandson.” There was sincerity in her voice when she said it and genuineness in her action towards her grandson as she hugged him tightly.

“Bye bye, Grandma.” Sian had waved and Grandma had returned the gesture with a wide smile.

“Your mom visited.” He simply said when Soobin walked out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel. He probably had a long day at work but it was a big piece of information and Beomgyu wouldn’t have done a good job at handling it.

Surprisingly, Soobin took the news really well, “Well…what did she say?” 

“I invited her and she played with Sian for a while.” 

“Did she…did she like it?” His hands stopped and gulped nervously as he asked it.

Beomgyu took the towel from him and helped him with his drying, “She loved it.” Soobin only nodded at that and gave him a small smile.

“And…” Beomgyu drawled on, “I passed the interview. I got the job.” 

It was comical how his husband’s eyes widened like two big saucers and screamed sounds of victory. Beomgyu didn’t complain when he got tackled on the bed and showered with kisses.

Becoming a parent comes with responsibilities. 

Sian didn’t get sick often but the time he did, Beomgyu was scared out of his wits. They had woken up to their son whimpering and sweating in the middle of the night. 

He had given him medicine for fever right before they went to sleep. It didn’t work and after an hour, their son was convulsing, body burning hot and sticky. It was his first time experiencing something like this and he couldn’t help the panic reeking out of him.

He stood there uselessly by the foot of the bed, shaking and terrified as Soobin called up Sian’s paediatrician, calm and collected and did whatever necessary. He felt so useless at that very moment and his tears were just a word away from streaming down his cheeks.

Everything was under control in the next five minutes but Beomgyu was still in his own head. For the first time in becoming Sian’s papa, he was doubting himself. Soobin patted Sian’s head, putting him to sleep first then turned to him.

“Want to stay in the living room for a while?”

And they were there, on the couch, with Soobin holding his hands, softly stroking them with his thumbs comfortingly. Yet he couldn’t face him. The sight of Sian writhing and crying on the bed had imprinted itself in the back of his mind.

“It’s okay, Beomgyu-ah. It happens.” Soobin consoled him. 

But he couldn’t hold back the wrecked sob that bubbled out of him, “I didn’t know what to do, hyung. What if…what if you weren’t here? What would have happened?”

“You’ll know, you’ll know.” Soobin embraced him, cradling his head, “I didn’t know at first too.” 

The late night and the ticking wall clock were the only ones who witnessed the couple spilling their worries of raising their son and possible futures that would follow. Although a little later, they did laugh at some lame jokes Soobin made in between wet emotions. 

The next bomb to his insecurity came in the form of Sian’s actual grandparents knocking at their door. Honestly, he didn’t have any idea who they were. But just by the first word that left their mouth, he knew they were not pleasant people.

“Where is our grandson?” They asked.

“I’m sorry but I think you’re in the wrong house.” He politely told them, actually thinking that was it. But he was proven wrong soon enough.

“Lee Sian, our grandson whom you have kept in this house as Choi Sian.” Then, it clicked. He desperately hoped Sian wouldn’t come out of his playroom because that couldn’t be a good move. 

“Papa! You have to see this.” He was once again proven wrong when Sian came screaming enthusiastically, a painting he made in his hand expecting to receive a compliment from his father only to meet with a horrified expression on the said father.

“Sian-ah!” The old woman exclaimed, a hand on her heart,  pretending to be actually glad to see her grandson when she was clearly not.

“Oh, hello!” Sian greeted them like the good kid he was, as he stood by Beomgyu holding onto his hand. 

It was a little after three, another three more hours before Soobin came home. Beomgyu hadn’t prayed so hard in his life like he did that day for Soobin to come home. Somehow. Anyhow. 

The grandfather reached for Sian, but the child only hid behind Beomgyu, clutching onto his pants so tight. He must have sensed the stiff atmosphere because he looked so frightened all of a sudden. 

They did not keep Sian completely in the dark. Both Soobin and Beomgyu decided they would tell him everything when he was old enough. But he wasn’t yet right now. And these outsiders had ruined it.

“We’re your grandparents, Sian-ah. Let’s go home and grandma will make you delicious food. How does that sound?” 

Sian did not buy it, he continued hiding and Beomgyu held his hand firmly. If they were going to play this game, they might as well play it well. 

“Mr. Jo?” The woman called, and a man in suits came running inside, “Let’s get our Sian home.” 

The man nodded and suddenly, he was reaching out for Sian and dragging the kid out of Beomgyu’s hold. There were shouts from Beomgyu and cries from Sian, as well as remarks from the two elderly. 

“Just what do you think you’re doing? Leave my son alone!” He screamed, but they didn’t stop and soon enough, he got detached from his son. 

“Papaaa,” cried the child, “Papa, they’re taking me, papaaa…”

Beomgyu tried to fight, follow the man and pull his son back but instead got pushed harshly, hitting his arm on the wall. 

“Papaa!” Sian yelled out of concern although he himself was very scared. He should be worrying about himself, not his papa who couldn’t do anything.

The entire time, the man and the woman stood there, smirking to themselves. 

“I’m calling the police,” he tried threateningly, running to the living room to get his phone. 

“Call all the cops you want, it won’t help you that much. Who are you, anyway. Just a stranger, aren’t you?” They said, and left the house. 

Beomgyu stared blankly at how Sian cried and cried, reaching out his hand and calling out for him. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. The door slammed shut and he was there alone. 

They took his child. They took Soobin’s child. 

He didn’t know how long he stood there in a daze. But eventually, he did call up Soobin. He was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees in an attempt to calm his storming heart. The wind fluttered the curtains through the window and all looked so forlorn.

“Hyung…” He croaked up just as Soobin picked up. His husband sounded concerned, asking if he was alright again and again. He couldn’t feel anything at the moment. He felt hollow and cold, like everything had been taken away from him.

“They took Sian away, hyung. And I…I…” He sobbed, gripping his phone tightly, “I couldn’t do anything.” 

His cries intensified and he no longer cared what Soobin was saying on the other line. All he could think was how much of a useless parent he had been. Allowing his son to be snatched away right in front of him. 

Soobin came home right away, throwing his bag and shoes at the doorway as he rushed to Beomgyu’s side on the floor. He immediately engulfed him in a hug, slowly rubbing soothing circles on his back and Beomgyu cried harder into his chest. How could this happen? 

“It’ll be okay, baby,” Soobin comforted, “I will make it all okay.” He murmured the lines over and over again, waiting for him to finally come back to reality.

That night, neither of them had dinner. Soobin was on the call all night, talking to different people about the matter. He looked pretty distressed as Beomgyu was. His blazer discarded, tie was messed up and hung untidily, his hair ruined from constantly running his hand through. But he never left Beomgyu’s side on the couch.

“Should we eat something?” He asked, gingerly taking his hand. 

“No.”

“Beomgyu…”

“I don’t have any appetite,” He choked on his tears again pathetically. His eyes were tired and sunken from crying too much but it didn’t stop. Even if he did not want to, they kept on welling up fat tears.

“You have to eat,” Soobin tried to reason, “You have to be strong to fight for our Sian.”

“No.”

“Beomgyu, look at me,” He called him a bit softer, hand coming to his cheeks, “Do you love Sian?”

It didn’t take even a millisecond for him to answer that question, “I do. Very much.” He did his best to blink away the tears and focus on Soobin. The older was smiling lovingly at him, kissed his forehead and made his head rest against his chest.

“That’s why we should eat, Beomgyu.” He whispered, “To stay strong and bring Sian home.” 

Apparently, Sian’s grandparents had found out the secret will left by their son and wife where all of their properties went to Sian. And now that they knew this, they wanted Sian back, after abandoning him for years. 

Soobin hired his most trusted attorney, provided him with all the evidence and they had a fierce fight in the court. But Beomgyu wasn’t having any of it. It had been 3 days since he last saw his son and it was driving him crazy. The entire session of the court, he was fidgeting on his seat and Kai had to hold his hand to calm him down.

Fortunately, they won. Soobin made a great choice by completing all the paperwork related to adoption years back and that served as a major weapon. Since the case required digging into the past, they had to uncover the accident as well and the judge demanded a re-investigation of the incident. Soobin’s sister and her husband were finally getting justice.

The court dissolved and when they handed over Sian with an annoyed and defeated expression, Beomgyu cried tears of relief. Sian ran to his arms and hugged him tightly. 

“Papa, I missed you.” He said, broken.

“I missed you too.” 

Soobin joined them too in their hug, basking in the touches they missed from each other. That’s when the old couple walked up to them and snorted. 

“How pathetic that you’re putting on a show? You’re not even related.” It didn’t take a genius to know that it was directed for Beomgyu. The bitterness of the words hit him with a sharp pang. Yet, when he felt Soobin clenching his fist and tensing up, he gave him a reassuring smile, telling him to calm down.

“Who told you he isn’t related?” A voice came from the other side and another olderly man, holding a can and round glasses, made his way to them.

“Dad!” Soobin exclaimed.

“He’s my son-in-law. What do you mean he isn’t related to us?” He said, sternly. 

“Mr. Choi! It’s been a while.” The other man greeted him but he didn’t return, instead giving him a disgusted look.

“Aren’t you satisfied with ruining my daughter’s life? That you’re coming for my son-in-law again?”

“Come on, Mr. Choi. What do you think of us?” He argued, but Soobin’s dad didn’t get affected.

“It was a grave mistake to trust my daughter to you,” he snarled, “If the court finds that you are involved, I won’t hold back, Lee.”

The man fake-laughed and excused himself from their company. He must have known he would get shamed more if he stayed longer. That was for the better anyway.

“Soobin-ah,” He called for his son, “I’m counting on you to make my grandson and son-in-law happy. Don’t let me down.” 

Soobin couldn’t be happier when he said that and immediately went in for a hug. Their son was now with them and he was also with his dad. Beomgyu somehow magically brought all of them together. 

That night, after Sian had gone to sleep, they had an ice-cream date. With a tub of ice-cream in between them and a movie playing on the TV in very low volume, Beomgyu leaned on Soobin’s shoulders. It had been so long since they got to do this. 

“I love you.” Soobin said out of the blue.

“I know.”

“You’re the best husband.”

“I know.”

“Sian and I are so lucky to have you.”

“I know.”

“Hey, at least, say ‘thank you’ or something.” Soobin groaned and poked his side. It earned a fit of giggles from the shorter husband, almost spilling the ice cream. How he wished he could keep on hearing this sound around him and his son for the rest of his life.

He was grinning like a fool and Beomgyu looked at him amusingly. The younger tilted his head up, looked into his eyes and planted a kiss on his lips. Just a simple touch.

 Both of their lips were already freezing cold from the ice cream but once they met, they got a little warmer. He could feel Soobin smiling against the kiss, hands coming to cradle his cheeks to deepen it. 

Before he could do so, he pulled away.

“I know.”

“Choi Beomgyu, you…” 

They ran around in the living room trying to stifle all their noises as Soobin chased him with a threat to tickle him till his stomach hurt from laughing. 

They did end up disturbing Sian’s sleep, and had to deal with a sleepy child for the rest of the night.

*

“Remember to call us once you reach there, hmm?”

“Papa.” Sian whines, “that’s the tenth time you’re telling me that.” 

Then, he proceeds to hug his dad, a long firm hug, and agressie pattings on the back. They murmur something into each other’s ears and begin laughing. Beomgyu has to manually pull them away so that their son doesn’t miss his flight.

They’re at the airport, right before Sian goes in. Soobin’s brother had told them that he would wait for his nephew at the German airport. It’s just in the flight that he needs to be alone.

“Do not trouble your uncle and aunt, okay? And take good care of your cousins too. Don’t  forget to call me everyday. If you ever feel homesick-”

Then comes his own share of Sian’s hug, “Okay, okay. I got it, my dear papa, I’ll remember everything. While I’m gone, you too have fun okay? Since I’ll not be around, you can do whatever you want with dad. You can enjoy the honeymoon phase you couldn’t enjoy because of me.”

“What nonsense!” He smacks his shoulder, “you were worth sacrificing our honeymoon phase, sweetheart.”

Sian laughs, “You might be okay with it but dad’s clearly not. I can see it on his face. I felt bad every time I interrupted your sweet time all those years.” 

“Okay, now. I really think you should go.” Soobin joins in, “Make yourself proud, Choi Sian.”

“I will.”

They wave at him as their son went in, a grin on his face and excitement in his steps. They are finally letting the little child they raised take a leap towards his life. It is a pretty emotional moment and Beomgyu wipes the tears that roll off his eyes. Soobin has his arm around him, squeezing him tightly, assuring him as always. 

Time went by so fast. Sian who once held onto his pinky finger, is now grown up, nearly as tall as his dad, chasing his dreams. But Beomgyu would say, he enjoyed every minute he had spent with him, from the moment they met in the kindergarten till present. He didn’t ever view Sian as a burden, instead felt grateful for making him experience what being a parent feels like. 

If he were to be given another life, he would wish for him to be his son again.

“So…” Soobin hummed, eyeing him mischievously and nudging his shoulder, “honeymoon?”

“Oh God! You father-son are just the same.” Beomgyu walks away, leaving Soobin to chase after him, angry footsteps but a smile on his face. 

He got lucky this lifetime.

*