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“Sam.”
“MphDean?”
“Can you get me an ice pack?”
“Yeah. What time is it?”
“Dunno. My phone died.”
“What have I said about charging it? It's three. Hold on.”
“Sammy, did you go to bed naked? And I wasn't informed?”
“It was a last second decision, I assure you.”
“Your robe reminds me of a Golden Girls nightgown. It's pretty.”
“Oooh, you took drugs.”
“I sure fucking did, baby.”
“You can't even point your finger guns the right way, you dork.”
“Just pretend. Also, you should kiss me. Lay one on me. Riiight here.”
“Hmm. Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“You're welcome, Dean. I'll go get your ice pack.”
“I should buy you more pretty robes.”
“I'm not gonna say no, but I'm gonna want to know what drugs you took, because you're just a peach on them.”
“You got a peach on you.”
“And such wonderful cat calling. I'm going to the kitchen for a second. I'll be back right away.”
“But my head hurts.”
“Probably a side effect, Dean.”
“Yeah, but it hurts.”
“Well, all you have to do is lie down and rest. I'll take care of things. How about a cookie?”
“The chewy kind?”
“Yeah, I think we have a few left.”
“Your hands feel good on my shoulders.”
“You're tense, Dean.”
“They're old muscles. That's how they are.”
“... Would you want young muscles, then?”
“No. I'd get my knees replaced and a small hole drilled into my skull before I consent to going backwards.”
“What if someone offered you the chance?”
“To do it Efron-style?”
“You reference the weirdest movies.”
“Yeah? Well, Sammy, you know them, so they can't be all that weird.”
“I wouldn't go backwards.”
“Not even to cut your hair?”
“Never.”
“Ya hippie.”
“Someone in this house sure likes pulling on my hair, if I recall.”
“Mm yeah. Lemme touch it.”
“Don't pull.”
“Ishpretty.”
“You really wouldn't go backwards?”
“No. No no no. That's a big N-O.”
“Good. I like you like this.”
“Old?”
“Aged.”
“Distinguished.”
“Uh, sure.”
“Sam!”
“Okay, okay—distinguished.”
“That's better.”
“I'd go back for a second. Just to tell my younger self that the risk I took paid off.”
“Yeah. Suppose it did, huh?”
“Dean. Try to rest.”
“That feels good.”
“My hand on your forehead?”
“Yeah.”
“What about the ice pack?”
“We're good like this. “
“Hmm. That's correct in more than one way.”
“I should wake up at three more often.”
“No, I don't suggest that.”
“So what else do you suggest, Professor?”
“Would a blow job help?”
“Fuck, it wouldn't hurt.”
“You're incorrigible.”
“And you're the one who offered.”
“That's right, I did. I must care about you on some level.”
“All the levels.”
“Are you just gonna fall asleep halfway through?”
“... No.”
“Uh huh.”
“We're just gonna have to wait and see.”
“Okay, but you owe me a robe.”
“Consider it done. And... I wouldn't go back, Sam. Because then I wouldn't have this.”