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The first time the phone rings and the screen flashes “Unknown number”, Lan Wangji is sleeping. He is not expecting a phone call. He does not care for any telemarketers or anyone who’s number he didn’t bother to save (which is everyone except for Uncle and Lan Huan). For a moment, he is tempted not to pick up and living out his evening in peaceful, blissful solitude. But Lan Wangji, at his best, is a responsible person, and this phone call may be of some importance to someone, so he picks up the phone.
He is about to say his name like any good, responsible person picking up a phone would, when the person on the other end of the line breaks the script.
“My dearest, darlingest brother,” the person says. It is not his brother speaking. “I am calling for your infinite wisdom.”
Lan Wangji makes a vague noise of protest.
“Ah, ah,” the person rudely interrupts. “Before you say anything, let me explain. I think my idea is great. Wen Ning thinks my idea is batshit. Rephrasing here, this little sweetheart would never say that. Say hi, Wen Ning.”
“Hi, Wen Ning,” a quieter voice chirps through the phone.
“Close enough,” the other person says. “I’m just calling you to get a neutral, fair opinion before I do something stupid. Like I promised. Because I’m a super responsible person.”
Lan Wangji feels pre-emptively offended on behalf of responsible people everywhere.
“So, I’m trying to get back my laptop, which I left in the lab, for a totally logical and understandable reason -”
“You forgot it,” the quieter voice says.
“Okay, fine, I forgot it. Luckily, I also forgot to close the window properly so the best course of action here would be to break in through the window. Now, I know what you’re thinking – the window is on the third floor, how are you going to get up there? But there is a tree right in front of the window that I could climb and Wen Ning, this lovely sweetheart that I found, he would totally catch me, right, Wen Ning?”
“Uhm…”
“He would try his best and that’s what counts. Anyway, the plan is, I climb the tree, open the window, get the laptop and climb back down. Consider also I’m a little drunk, which means I might not be as coordinated or that I could unlock secret superpowers, who knows? Wen Ning is a little uncertain, so I said we should take a vote on it. I voted yes, he voted no. So your vote will be deciding. What do you think?”
“I suggest you do not take any illegal actions,” Lan Wangji says seriously, “and ideally not any fatal actions either.”
A moment of silence.
“You’re not Jiang Cheng.”
“I am not.”
“Oh.” More silence. “Why is that?”
“I assume you have typed the wrong number. However, I am now more concerned about the crime you are about to commit.”
“Crime? Haha,” nervous laughter rings through the phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where did you get that idea? No crime anywhere to be seen. Do you see anything, Wen Ning?”
“No.”
“There you have it. We’re all upstanding, perfectly law-abiding citizens here. Have a good night.”
“Wait,” Lan Wangji interjects before the lunatic can hang up the phone. “Why don’t you just retrieve your laptop in the morning? For instance, at a time when it is normal for people to be awake.”
“See, I totally would do that, but the problem is that I really need to hand in this essay by midnight and I’ve saved all my progress on that laptop. Also, what do you mean? It’s barely eleven. Did I wake you up?”
“It is of no matter,” Lan Wangji says.
“Why do you talk like a peer-reviewed academic article?”
“It is merely polite. Maybe you could try it.”
“You – you’re not polite at all! You’ve been bullying me for this entire phone call.”
Lan Wangji takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He will restrain himself, hold back as he deals with this utterly infuriating individual.
“Just honest,” he says.
“Wow. You’re brutal – what’s your name?”
Lan Wangji really should not be giving out his name to strangers, but for some strange reason, he finds himself -wanting to.
“Lan Wangji.”
“Huh. Really?”
“My mother called me Lan Zhan,” Lan Wangji says, without meaning to.
“Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. Nice. You can call me Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying. Lan Wangji feels unusually breathless. He clutches the phone is his fingers. His attention is entirely on the voice on the other side.
“Is that your real name?”
“Depends. Are you going to rat me out?”
“Depends. Are you going to commit a crime?”
Lan Wangji is thrumming with something like excitement. He tells himself it’s only because he is dealing with a would-be criminal.
“It’s not a real crime, is it? I’ll only be stealing something that already belongs to me.”
What a flimsy argument.
“What about breaking and entering?”
“Ah, I have classes in that lab. Tomorrow I’ll be entering there anyway. What difference do a few hours really make?”
“A big difference. Then, you can enter through the front door. Or call the janitor to help you.”
“Aiya, who are you to pass judgement? I only called you by accident anyway.”
“Have you not saved your brothers phone number?” Lan Wangji says as judgementally as he can manage. It is of great importance to him that his brother’s phone number is saved. If not anyone else’s.
“I have. But I’m calling from Wen Ning’s phone. I must have remembered it wrong.”
“Why are you not calling from your own phone?”
Does this mean, if Lan Wangji were to, say, accidentally call this number in the morning, Wei Ying would not pick up?
“Lan Zhan. Have we not already established that my memory has holes like a swiss cheese? That I am a frail old man who can not be held accountable for anything?”
It is ludicrous. Lan Wangji has never had to talk to such an unreasonable person.
“No. We have not.”
“The point is, I forgot my phone in the dorm room. But, that reminds me. You can save your threats. You won’t be able to report me anyway. You don’t even know where I live.”
“Area codes -”
“Shush!”
Lan Wangji is completely taken aback. He has never been shushed before.
“Oh shit, someone’s coming. Quiet, quiet -”
The line goes dead.
Lan Wangji stares at the phone, uncomprehending. This has nothing to do with him. There is no reason to care, or even think about it. He should go to sleep. The whole evening has been disrupted. He should do his best to fix it.
But.
It’s so different. Downright shocking. Which is, of course, a bad thing. Lan Wangji does not wish to be shocked, or surprised, or impressed in any way. He wants to live out his life quietly and peacefully, never being bothered by anyone.
And yet.
Lan Wangji has been staring at his phone for five minutes.
When the phone starts ringing again, it takes him the fraction of a second to pick up.
“Wei Ying,” he breathes.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m a terrible person for bothering you, I know, no need to say it. I just wanted to put your mind at ease. No crimes will be committed tonight. Well, not by one Wei Ying, anyway.”
Lan Wangji’s mind is not at ease. If Wei Ying’s problem has been solved, then Wei Ying has no reason to ask Lan Wangji’s opinion. They have no reason to talk at all.
“We ran into Wen Ning’s sister, Wen Qing. She is so nice. She scares the shit out of me. She has a key to the lab, so she’s letting me in, because she’s the nicest, most friendly person in the whole world. How do you have the key to the lab, Wen Qing?”
“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” a female voice says.
“That adds up,” Wei Ying says.
“You have solved your problem,” Lan Zhan remarks. His heart is racing.
“Completely legally and without any fatal accidents. You can sleep peacefully.”
Lan Wangji will not sleep peacefully. He is not sure he will ever sleep again.
“So, sorry for the inconvenience. Talk to you never, probably.”
Wei Ying hangs up the phone again. Never? Okay. Good. Why would they ever talk again? Never. Why does that seem like such a terrifying thought?
Oh. Oh no. Lan Wangji should never have picked up the phone. But it’s too late.
The damage has been done.
The next time an unknown number calls Lan Wangji’s phone, Lan Wangji is in the grocery store. This time, he picks up without hesitation.
“Jiang Cheng, I am so poor and wretched and I never ask you for anything. You love me. So I really think you should take pity on me and do me this favor, don’t you?”
Lan Wangji doubts the truth of these statements. But he does not want to call Wei Ying out, he just wants to hear more.
“What favor?”
“Oh. Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying laughs. “Oops I, I did it again.”
Lan Wangji starts pacing down the vegetable aisle.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
Of course, he’s not happy that Wei Ying called, that would be ridiculous. But the careful neutrality he would have felt at the phone call is slightly marred by concern. Wei Ying would not dial the wrong number if he wasn’t in some sort of trouble. Wei Ying seems like the type of person who is always in some sort of trouble.
“Well, I was going to bully Jiang Cheng into picking me up, but I don’t even really need it. I’m a bit lost, but I’m not really far from home, I don’t think.”
“Why did you not call your brother?”
“Oh. My phone died, and I was right by this hardware store and I got a burner phone -”
“Why would you not just borrow someone’s phone?”
“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want to be the kind of guy who asks people for their phone? Like, it just seems suspicious, don’t you think? Like, what if I run off with it?”
“Why did you not ask the clerk for directions?”
Wei Ying lets out a comical gasp.
“Ohhh. I guess I could have done that. If I’d been as smart and intelligent as the beautiful Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji inadvertently flushes.
“How would you know? That I am beautiful?”
“With a voice as pretty as yours, it would only make sense that the face matches, right?”
Is he being flirted with? It feels like he is being flirted with.
“No,” he says through closed lips.
“Aaw, Lan Zhan. You ruin all my fun.”
Fun. Certainly, Wei Ying likes to have fun and Lan Wangji is the least fun person to be around. Lan Wangji is… reliable. He gives good advice. That has to be worth something to.
“You should call a cab,” Lan Wangji says, determined to be as reliable and sensible as possible.
“A cab? From this burner phone that has exactly zero numbers saved?”
Lan Wangji pauses.
“Hm.”
“You need to think that through again.”
“I could call you a cab.”
“No, no, I really don’t need one. Could you just look up the way and direct me?”
Lan Wangji frowns. Picks up a red bell pepper. Puts it down again.
“You should not give a stranger your location,” he says finally. “Or your address.”
“Are you saying I can’t trust you?” Wei Ying says with a teasing tone in his voice.
“I am very reliable,” Lan Wangji says, still frowning.
“That’s what I thought. You see, Lan Zhan, you don’t need to worry about me. I know about stranger danger. I’m just so good at reading people. And you give off very good vibes.”
Lan Wangji almost smiles, but wrangles it back just in time. He had not known he was giving off any “vibes” at all.
Before Lan Wangji can stop Wei Ying from making any more bad decisions, Wei Ying has already told him both his location and his address. Without even thinking about it, Lan Wangji is looking up the way.
“It’s a twenty minute walk. You will need to go to the end of the road and then take a right.”
“You sound just like an online navigator. So serious. So monotone.”
“Would you like to try calling your brother again instead?” Lan Wangji says testily.
“No, no! Don’t get mad. It was a compliment. Your voice is so nice. You could probably make a living reading books. Like… crime thrillers!”
It does not sound like a compliment.
“I would listen to you all day long,” Wei Ying says.
This does.
Lan Wangji keeps giving directions. Wei Ying keeps talking.
“I was just at Wen Qing’s place, you know, and she has the most adorable little cousin. You should have seen him, Lan Zhan, you would have been blown away by his chubby little cheeks and his little nose. His name is A-Yuan.”
Each of his words makes Lan Wangji feel thoroughly and unreasonably warm inside. Finally, Wei Ying announces that he recognizes the street.
“Lan Zhan, aren’t you proud of me?” he says. “I didn’t even try to commit a crime today. And the only thing I forgot was the way home.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji says seriously.
“Well. Thank you very much.”
Lan Wangji’s throat goes dry.
“No need.”
“You’re too nice,” he says quietly.
Lan Wangji can’t stop him from hanging up this time either. But at least there is no never this time around.
The third time, Lan Wangji is in line at the bank.
“Hello, buttercup,” Wei Ying says when Lan Wangji picks up the phone.
Immediately, Lan Wangji’s heart leaps into his throat.
“It- did you not mean to call your brother this time?”
Lan Wangji doubts that Wei Ying calls his brother buttercup but isn’t that more likely than the thought that Wei Ying meant to call Lan Wangji? That he meant to call him buttercup? No. That seems all but impossible.
“Oh, I’m just calling to ask if we’re still on for tonight? This guy here has been giving me his friendly attention, but I’ve been trying to tell him that I’m busy tonight.”
“Is this – is someone bothering you?”
“Yeah. I think I’ll have the salad for dinner, how about you?”
“That sounds like a healthy choice. Wei Ying, do you need help?”
“No, no. Seven is fine. It’s just… I have to get back to work, and you know me. I always have to try really hard not to punch… the clock… too early.”
Does Wei Ying mean he is restraining himself from punching the person who is bothering him?
“I believe some punching can be forgiven.”
Wei Ying, clearly startled, bursts out laughing. It sounds genuine.
“Lan Zhan! You’ve changed your tune. What happened to your aversion to any and all crimes?”
Hastily, he adds: “I’m not going to kill my boss, of course. That would be wrong.”
“It is not a crime if it is self-defense.”
“Ah, it’s not that dire. It’s all about a healthy life-work balance. And, you know, I normally wouldn’t call while you’re at work, but I’m a little… agitated. From the weather. And your voice always soothes me.”
Hm. So Wei Ying is trying to reign in his temper.
“I am happy to help, Wei Ying.”
“Haha, you say the sweetest things, darling. I miss you so much.”
Lan Wangji’s throat goes tight. Even knowing it’s all an act, it does not leave him unaffected.
“Ah, shit,” someone grumbles in the background. “Guess I don’t have a shot. How about you, darling? The way you’re dressed says it all, doesn’t it?”
There’s a short pause and then a cluttering sound, a slap like skin hitting skin.
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji says, alarmed.
“Hey, hey,” a woman says, sounding vaguely familiar. “Everyone calm down. Wei Wuxian, let’s get out of here, quickly.”
For a few long moments, Lan Wangji can hear nothing but footsteps.
“What was that?” the woman hisses then. “You’re such an idiot.”
“Sorry,” Wei Ying says.
“Don’t be a hero, Wei Wuxian,” the woman says. She sounds very angry. “I never asked you to be. I don’t need anyone to defend me.”
“I know! That guy was getting on my nerves. That’s all.”
“Well, let’s hope he doesn’t press charges.”
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji says again, feeling a little like he is eavesdropping on a private conversation.
“Oh! Lan Zhan. Sorry, I forgot you were there,” Wei Ying says hastily.
“What happened?” Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying stays silent for a little too long.
“Ah, I was handling it, he was almost getting ready to leave, but then he said that thing to Wen Qing and I just… lost it. But you don’t have to worry, okay? It was a one time thing. From now on, I will live on the straight and narrow only.”
“Mn.”
“You have not befriended a criminal, I promise.”
There is something to address here, Lan Wangji is sure of it, but in that moment, his mind zeroes in on that one word.
“Befriended?”
“Yeah, sure. We’re besties now, obviously. With you helping me out all the time. Unless. You rather wouldn’t be?”
Lan Wangji shakes his head, and then realizes. He presses the phone closer to his ear.
“No,” he says quietly. “I would like to be your friend.”
“Oh my god, you can’t say something like that so earnestly. You’re killing me, Lan Zhan. Give me a warning next time.”
“Mn.”
“You sure you don’t hate me? You didn’t sound very happy the first time I called you. What with me being a no-good delinquent and all.”
Lan Wangji frowns at this. Wei Ying is… good. He clearly cares about people and would break the rules to protect them. He is an affectionate, social person who has no trouble making friends. Lan Wangji is surely only one among many. He doesn’t mind it. But he wants to be the one Wei Ying calls when there is trouble every time. He wants Wei Ying’s phone to be forever broken or dead or forgotten at home.
It’s so selfish a thought it startles Lan Wangji a little, but he can’t help it. He wants to know everything about this inexplicable ridiculous person.
Lan Wangji is content, satisfied with his lot in life. He never wants more than he has. But these phone calls have him greedy with wanting – every silly joke, every detail about Wei Ying’s life, every one of his opinions – what’s more his affection, his sparkling fondness, care about me, care about me.
“I am sure,” Lan Wangji says simply.
Everything else is too hard to put into words. Everything else is – too much. Wei Ying didn’t ask for an emergency contact, for someone to wait for him on the end of the line. Wei Ying never meant to call him in the first place.
“You would come visit me in prison if they arrested me, wouldn’t you?”
“They are not going to arrest you,” Lan Wangji says.
“You don’t know that.”
Lan Wangji looks at the back of the person in front of him in line. He turns to look out the window. A bird flies by.
“I would,” Lan Wangji says.
He should not respond so sincerely to Wei Ying’s jokes, but he can’t help that either.
“Thank you for helping me there. Pretending, I mean,” Wei Ying says. “Not everyone would.”
Let’s meet. Let me see your face. Call me and mean it.
Lan Wangji is about to say something, anything, but Wei Ying has already hung up.
One day, when Wei Ying calls, something is different. Lan Wangji hasn’t heard from him in a while and his heart skips a beat when he sees his phone say unknown number.
There is a long, tired-sounding sigh on the other end of the line.
“Hey,” he says slowly, a far cry from his usual cheerful self. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Is everything alright?”
“Ah, Lan Zhan. I… Lan Zhan, I’m only calling because this nice old lady who lent me her phone won’t stop nagging me about it. It’s… I have no one else to call. So I’m just going to say nonsense for a bit and then she’ll be placated.”
No. Stay. Keep talking to me.
But the truth is, Lan Wangji wants the nonsense too.
“Yes, everything is fine!” Wei Ying says, raising his voice, probably to speak to someone else. He sounds more cheerful then, but it’s clearly just an act.
“Sorry, she’s looking over here so I’m just smiling and nodding. I don’t want her to worry.”
“What happened?”
“I got mugged a little bit. Maybe.”
“Wei Ying!”
“Everything’s fine! Oh, you’re just as bad as her. The cut is barely even bleeding anymore.”
Lan Wangji grips the phone a little too tightly.
“Cut?!”
“Cut? What? Did I say something about a cut? No, I didn’t. Everything is fine.”
“It is not fine.”
“I lived, Lan Zhan. I don’t have my phone or my wallet, but I lived. That means it’s fine.”
Lan Wangji does not agree, but he does not want to argue with Wei Ying.
“What happened?” he repeats.
“I was walking home from Wen Ning’s place and Wen Qing’s stupid cousin was there. I said something he didn’t like and then he sent his friends after me.”
“You need to report them.”
“What would be the point? Wen Chao is super rich. His father could buy him out of anything. And I don’t even know who his friends are.”
“They need to be held accountable.”
Wei Ying sighs, but this time it sounds more dreamy than tired.
“Ah, Lan Zhan. So honourable. So virtuous. Just listening to you speak so earnestly makes me want to become a better person. Fine. I will go to the police station later. Right now… I don’t even have the money for a train ticket.”
“You should call a cab.”
“I already told you, I don’t have money and I’m not going to bother the concerned old lady for anything else.”
“I will call you a cab.”
“Lan Zhan, no –”
“Where are you?”
Wei Ying seems to realize that Lan Wangji can’t be fought on this and gives in quickly, telling him a nearby address.
“Lan Zhan, you really shouldn’t -” Wei Ying says anyway.
“I am already calling for a cab.”
“You’re still on the phone with me, you dirty liar.”
“I’m sorry, I cannot hear you. The connection is breaking up.”
“Oh my god, Lan Zhan -” Wei Ying says, sounding delighted.
Lan Wangji quickly hangs up the phone and calls for a cab.
Next time, he thinks. Next time, Wei Ying will call him happy. His phone died and he wanted someone to talk to. He wants a second opinion. He needs someone to guide him home.
Lan Wangji will be there.
When Wei Ying calls again, he is using his false cheerful voice again. It can’t mean anything good.
“Buttercup, it’s me. I don’t know what to do, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. This big, strong gentlemen has lent me his phone. You’re on speaker phone.”
“Hello,” Lan Wangji says cautiously.
This is clearly another fake phone call, only this time Lan Wangji is also supposed to play the role.
“Darling, why aren’t you here? We were going to meet for dinner and now I’m the only one who showed up. You’re so cruel, abandoning and forsaking me. Don’t you love me?”
“I love you,” Lan Wangji says, his heartbeat racing.
“Love you too. Now will you tell this lovely gentleman that we were going on a date and that I didn’t intend to interrupt his business transaction? What are you looking at me like that for? Isn’t ‘The Golden Eagle’ a pub? Aren’t you supposed to get drinks in a pub?”
“I believe you are mistaken,” Lan Wangji says.
What is going on? Is Wei Ying in danger? It sounds possible.
“What?” Wei Ying says. There is a hint of fear in his voice.
“We were supposed to meet at ‘The Golden Crown’. You must have mixed up the names.”
“Oh! Right. That makes sense. Scatter-brained, you know. In one ear, out the other. So, I’m very sorry, sir, but I’ll be on my way.”
“Fine,” a gruff voice says on the other end of the line.
Lan Wangji waits with bated breath until Wei Ying has walked far enough to talk to him again.
“Wei Ying, are you safe?” he can’t keep himself from asking.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s all fine. He totally bought our act.”
“You were not there by mistake. What did you do to anger him?”
“Just a tiny bit of eavesdropping. No need for you to worry. I have everything under control.”
Lan Wangji has no idea what kind of place Wei Ying walked into, but it certainly sounds dangerous. What could Wei Ying have meant by ‘business transaction’? It’s not difficult to come up with all kinds of scenarios – a drug deal, an illegal poker game, a gang war, maybe even human trafficking –
No. Lan Wangji should be rational about this. It must have been something perfectly harmless, or harmless enough. Maybe Wei Ying was just there while the pub was closed. (But then, why would Wei Ying go eavesdropping?)
“He almost caught you,” Lan Wangji says, worry overflowing inside of him. “If he suspected you had bad intentions -”
“Come on, he didn’t suspect a thing. I’m naturally adorable and innocent.”
“Promise me you will not do something like this again.”
“I can’t do that, Lan Zhan. I’m onto something. I can’t go into detail, but I just needed some intel. There are people involved… I… Don’t worry. Everything will turn out just fine.”
“Wei Ying…”
“I owe you one. You’re my knight in shining armour.”
“Wei Ying, what are you -”
Wei Ying hangs up before Lan Wangji can finish the question.
Lan Wangji only ever gets scraps of Wei Ying, glimpses into Wei Ying’s eventful, exciting life. Lan Wangji’s life is nothing like it. He writes papers. He plays the guqin. He visits his uncle and talks to his brother. There are no surprises. No risks.
The only unexpected thing are the phone calls now. Lan Wangji finds himself watching his phone sometimes, just out of the corner of his eye. Just in case.
Wei Ying will call again.
Lan Wangji is torn between relief and fear every time Wei Ying calls. This time, he is doing the dishes, but he doesn’t even wait to dry his hands before he picks up.
“So I know you’re too dignified and honourable to say ‘I told you so’, but, yeah. I’ll say it for you. You told me so. I tried to swear off a life of crime and now you are friends with a no-good delinquent. You win.”
Wei Ying is being overly dramatic, which can only be a sign that the situation is not too dire.
“I win?”
“I’ve been arrested. Just like you always wanted. Our will-he-won’t-he relationship has finally come to an end.”
“Will-he-won’t-he?”
“Yeah. You know. Will he manage to arrest Wei Ying or will Wei Ying pull of a dramatic escape at the last moment? The answer is he will not.”
Lan Wangji will not panic. He is used to Wei Ying’s escapades by now.
“You’ve been arrested?!”
He almost loses control of his voice.
“Yeah. They’ve given me one phone call. I figured I’d use it to give you a chance to gloat. You should appreciate my courtesy.”
Ludicrous. As if Wei Ying did not know that a phone call from the police station would make Lan Zhan sick with worry.
“Why did they arrest you?”
“Trespassing. Come on, Lan Zhan. That’s like, barely a crime.”
Trespassing. That’s good. It could have been much worse.
“Wei Ying. My brother is a lawyer. I will call him for you.”
“I can’t afford a lawyer.”
“He will do it as a favour to me.”
Wei Ying sighs weakly.
“No. I can’t ask you to do that.”
Why must Wei Ying be so stubborn every time? Always trying to get in the way of what Lan Zhan wants. (Which is Wei Ying safe and sound and happy.)
“You are not asking,” he says. “I am offering.”
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, strangely gentle, almost indulgent. “I already owe you far too much. How am I ever supposed to pay off all that debt?”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Lan Wangji says, adamant to make Wei Ying understand.
Wei Ying does not need to pay him back. Wei Ying does not even need to say thank you.
“Tell me what station,” Lan Wangji says.
And Wei Ying does.
For a moment, Lan Wangji contemplates going himself. It’s not too far from where he lives. But that would be selfish. Wei Ying only called by accident and only for help.
“What do you want?” Wei Ying asks.
He is still thinking about his debt.
To see you. To know you. To be called on purpose.
Lan Wangji cannot say that.
“You should really try to memorize your brother’s phone number,” Lan Wangji says after a while.
After all, it’s concerning that Wei Ying still does not get it right, even after all these weeks. Wei Ying should be able to contact his loved ones in an emergency. He should have more than just whatever inadequate help that Lan Wangji can offer.
“Oh,” Wei Ying says and it’s a quiet, resigned thing. “I… Yeah.”
He does not say good-bye before he hangs up. But it still feels like one.
Wei Ying does not call Lan Wangji for a long, long time. Then, he calls three times in one terrible night.
“Buttercup,” he says.
It’s already late in the evening and Lan Wangji was about to go to sleep, but he amended those plans as soon as Wei Ying called. Each time Wei Ying calls him buttercup it’s like a stab to the chest. Panic surges through him when he hears it because he already knows what it means. Wei Ying is pretending and he only pretends when he is in danger.
“My love,” Lan Wangji responds.
In case people are listening.
In case Wei Ying is listening.
“I just called because – because I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
So much. So much, so, so much.
“And I wanted to let you know,” Wei Ying says in his awful fake-cheerful voice. “That I’ll be late today. I’m swamped with work. So don’t wait up.”
Lan Wangji tries to decode the message, but he can’t find a pattern, can’t find a hint. How is he supposed to help if he doesn’t know the rules? Maybe the best move would be to just play along.
But what if there is something Wei Ying is trying to make him understand?
“Where are you?” Lan Wangji asks.
“Just at work,” Wei Ying says.
There is something so odd in his voice. It’s just shy of sadness. It sounds like good-bye all over again.
“You don’t need to worry about me, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Please. Please let this be a promise.
“My colleagues are nagging at me to get back to work. So I uh, I gotta go. I love you. Do you understand?”
Lan Wangji does not understand anything. He understands Wei Ying is lying because he is in some situation where he can’t say what he means.
“I love you,” Lan Wangji says.
He is not lying.
The phone starts beeping. Wei Ying’s voice is gone.
Lan Wangji carefully places the phone in his lap. He waits for it to ring. He watches the screen go black.
Lan Wangji startles awake when the phone starts ringing again. He had not meant to fall asleep, but he is not used to staying up so late.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying breathes.
This time, the desperation in his voice is not masked.
“Are you alright?” Lan Wangji asks quickly.
“Lan Zhan, I’m so sorry,” Wei Ying says. “I need your help. Can you do that? Can you just help me one more time?”
Lan Wangji sits up straighter. This is a bad sign. Wei Ying never asks for help. Lan Wangji almost always has to force him to accept it.
“Of course.”
“Of course. Yeah. Of course you’d say that. You’re so good, aren’t you? I’m sorry I dragged you into this. Oh god. Oh god, there’s so much blood.”
Blood? Lan Wangji goes cold all over.
“Do you need an ambulance?” Lan Wangji asks urgently.
“No. No, please, don’t call an ambulance. They’d find us. They can’t find us, Lan Zhan, okay? It’s fine. I can take care of it. It’s just… This is just a burner phone. I couldn’t have them tracking us. So, just, just look it up for me, okay? How do I patch up a stab wound? How can I stop the bleeding?”
“Wei Ying -”
“Don’t ask any questions, please. If you ask, I’ll tell you and I can’t do that.”
Lan Wangji tries to calm his breathing. Wei Ying needs him. That’s that.
He will look it up for him.
“Do you have a bandage? Or a piece of cloth?”
There is a ripping sound.
“I do now,” Wei Ying says.
“Can you clean the wound?”
“No time.”
“It could get infected.”
“I just want to – not die today. Everything else can wait.”
Die. Wei Ying could die – and Lan Wangji is just sitting there, at home, safe, and not doing anything. Lan Wangji should have found him. Lan Wangji should have been at least brave enough to ask.
“Is there any foreign object in your wound?”
“Not anymore.”
“You need direct pressure on the wound.”
“Okay. I’m wrapping it. It’ll be fine.”
Lan Wangji waits. He can only hear the sound of laboured breathing.
“You need to make sure you are not going into shock.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
“You can’t bleed through your bandages. Please.”
“Replace the bandages. Got it.”
“You should sit down.”
“I can’t sit down, Lan Zhan. I gotta. I gotta go. Thank you. For the help.”
Lan Wangji does not feel like he was helpful at all. He feels like he is trying to hold water in his hands and it is slipping through his fingers.
Wei Ying has hung up again, but Lan Wangji clasps the phone in his hand anyway. He will wait for Wei Ying to call again.
An hour later, the screen lights up again. Unknown number. Wei Ying. Lan Wangji swipes to accept the call so fast he almost drops his phone.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says.
He is breathing so much more heavily than an hour ago.
“I am here.”
“I was really trying. I promise. I had it all – I had it all under control.”
“Are you safe? Do you need an ambulance?”
“I’m sorry for calling. I shouldn’t have called. Not when those assholes who kidnapped me wanted me to call my loved ones so they wouldn’t notice me missing. They gave me a nasty stab wound when I escaped.”
“Wei Ying.”
Lan Wangji feels like he might cry, but something is frozen inside of him.
“I shouldn’t have called now either. I just… You have a beautiful voice, you know that, Lan Zhan?”
“You have said so before.”
“The point is… The point is…”
More heavy breathing.
“Did I have a point, Lan Zhan?”
“I’m sure you did.”
“The point is, I thought I could outsmart the world, get out unscathed. Save everybody. Wen Qing never wanted me to save her. She doesn’t… She doesn’t get it. Do you get it, Lan Zhan?”
“You are good.”
One thing he has understood about Wei Ying is that Wei Ying wants to help everyone, no matter the cost to his own health.
“It’s… there’s no choice there, okay? There was never a choice. I was always going to… They needed my help.”
“Please. Please, where are you?”
He needs to know. He needs to go there right now. He needs to stop Wei Ying from speaking this way.
“It’s not looking so good, Lan Zhan.”
“I can help you. I always help you.”
“Not this time.”
“You always call when you need help.”
“I only called you because I’m selfish. I wanted to hear your voice. Is that… too much? Was that too much to ask?”
“Just tell me what you need.”
“The building is about to blow, Lan Zhan. They got away, I think. Wen Qing and Wen Ning and A-Yuan. I think they’re safe. It’s just me here. So it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.”
“Cut me some slack, eh? Just this once?”
“What do you need?”
If Wei Ying would just tell him. Just tell him what he could do. Then he wouldn’t have to sit here, so utterly useless.
“To sleep, I think,” Wei Ying mutters. “I’m so tired. I think I’ll just…”
Lan Wangji’s mind is racing. He’s getting desperate now. Asking won’t help. Begging won’t help.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji is almost yelling, trying to get him to listen. “I’m calling in my debt.”
“What?”
“You still owe me. You owe me.”
“I’m sorry… I… I can’t… there’s nothing… What do you want?”
Lan Wangji’s fingers have gone cold. His lips have started shivering. His grip on his phone is airtight.
“Get away,” he presses out. “Save yourself. Please.”
“Lan Zhan…”
“We’ll call it even. Please.”
Wei Ying chuckles weakly.
“Well played, Lan Zhan. Well played.”
The line goes dead.
The news the next morning says that there was a gang fight. The Wens were involved. Wen Chao’s name is mentioned. Their headquarters blew up. There is video evidence that a man named Wei Wuxian was in the building at the time it blew. No search team has found him, but everyone assumes he is dead.
Lan Wangji watches the blank screen of his phone for hours.
A few days pass.
Lan Wangji starts writing papers again. He starts playing the guqin. His uncle and brother come visit.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he is always watching. His phone is never on silent and always charged.
Lan Wangji reads the papers. Wei Wuxian’s family has reported him missing. They don’t find a body in the wreckage. After a few weeks, there is a funeral.
Whenever his phone rings, he flinches. He asks his brother to text instead.
The phone stays silent.
Lan Wangji always, always keeps it within view.
The phone is ringing.
Lan Wangji does not pick up. He watches the screen. Unknown number, it reads. Could be telemarketers. Could be a number Lan Wangji did not bother to save, which is a lot.
Could be…
“Lan Wangji speaking,” he says. “Hello?”
There is silence. Lan Wangji holds his breath.
“Lan Zhan.”
“Wei Ying.”
Lan Wangji feels like weeping again, but his throat is dry.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t call,” Wei Ying says.
It barely hurts in the long run. Wei Ying is alive. Wei Ying can hate him as much as he wants.
“I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry, Lan Zhan. I swear this is the last time.”
No. No. Please.
It’s –
Wei Ying is alive. Everything else doesn’t matter.
“I was waiting. Still. For you to call.”
And maybe that’s too honest, too much to say, but Lan Wangji hasn’t missed his chance, and this is his last one –
“What?”
Wei Ying sounds absolutely incredulous.
“But I was – I was dead. They said so on the news. All the signs were pointing to me being dead. Why would you wait?”
Lan Wangji almost smiles, even if this is the last he’ll ever hear from Wei Ying.
“Because it’s you. You’re impossible. How could you be dead?”
“Ah, Lan Zhan. You have too much faith in me.”
“No. I was right.”
“You have a point, I’ll give you that. Listen. I just wanted to apologize. I know it doesn’t make up for any of it. I know it’s not even close to enough. But for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry. I won’t… I won’t call again. I promise you.”
“I’ll always wait,” Lan Wangji says quietly. Maybe he shouldn’t. It’s not fair to Wei Ying. But. Still… “I’ll always be waiting on the end of the line.”
“But… But Lan Zhan. I always annoy you. I always need something from you. That’s terrible, right? It’s… you don’t have to do that anymore.”
“You are alive. Say whatever. Do whatever you like. It does not matter to me.”
“I don’t – that doesn’t make sense. I’m always bothering you. It’s always me calling you, you know. It doesn’t really seem like you care.”
“Wei Ying. I do not have your number.”
A moment of silence.
“Ohhh.”
Wei Ying laughs.
“Okay, I get it, I am an idiot. But that can’t be - Are you serious? You want to talk to me?”
“I love talking to you.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan, I have suffered terrible injuries, you can’t say something like that. I’m too fragile! My poor heart cannot take it!”
Wei Ying is joking, but Lan Wangji doesn’t even hear it anymore.
“Injuries?”
“Oh. Haha. Yeah. I kind of did jump out of an exploding building, hit my head, drift with the river and lose my memory for a couple of weeks. It’s kind of a long story.”
Lan Wangji decides he can be brave too if Wei Ying is brave enough to do something like that.
“Maybe it would be best if…” He hesitates for a second. “You told me – face to face?”
“Oh.”
Lan Wangji braces himself for a gentle rejection. After all, he is not someone to call on purpose. Meeting is surely even further over the line.
“That’d be great,” Wei Ying says brightly.
“Really?” Lan Wangji asks.
He shouldn’t push, probably. But.
“Why? It’s – you’ve never called me on purpose -”
“Stop. Stop right there. Are you really going to make me say it?”
“Wei Ying.”
“After those first two times, I always meant to call you. I was just using Jiang Cheng’s number as an excuse. When I got mugged, I wasn’t even on speaking terms with him anymore.”
Lan Wangji can hardly believe it.
“Let’s meet,” Wei Ying says. “Saturday night, alright?”
“It’s a date,” Lan Wangji says.
“It’s a date.”
“Can I have your number?”
“Oh. Now he asks.”
Wei Ying clicks his tongue.
“I’m kidding. This is my number. I’ve finally called you from my actual phone.”
There’s a noise like a car engine.
“Ah, my cab is here. I’ve got to go.”
“Call me,” Lan Zhan says. “Call me when you’re home safe.”
“Oh, buttercup,” Wei Ying says. Lan Wangji can hear the smile in his voice. “Now that would be a change.”