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one thing klitz had always admired about eli was his confidence, the way the shorter boy didn't care about what others said or thought about him, the way he carried himself shamelessly. though he talked too loud and had obnoxious vulgarity laced into each of his words, he was never bothered by the venom spewed by their peers. klitz himself had always been on the opposite side of the spectrum. he was awkwardly tall and lanky, his hair was too long and it always rested just above his eyes, one of his shoes was always untied; basically a walking target for arrogant high school pricks.
now, klitz wouldn't say he paid extra attention to eli, no. he was an observer, when the drain of social interaction became too much he would simply sit back and watch, his subconscious just so happened to pick eli of all the hundreds of other students. it was simple psychology. no other reasons behind it.
that brings us to now. eli sat across from him babbling on about some undetermined subject with a mouthful of mystery lunch meat, but klitz was staring at his hands. apart from the silver rings that the other boy regularly wore, his nails were painted black. it shouldn't have called so much attention from klitz's brain, shouldn't have called any but he, for some reason, couldn't look away. the deep color shined brightly under the buzzing fluorescent lights of the cafeteria, unabashedly screaming of pride. klitz looked down at his own nails, they were uneven from his incessant biting and picking and looked dirty. he dragged his eyes back to his friend's nails, ignoring the yearn for color on his own hands.
"klitzy? you okay buddy?" eli called out, his gaze focused into one of concern.
shit, klitz thought, how do you heterosexually tell your friend that you were staring at him?
klitz fumbled, staring open mouthed at eli. the latter's concern melted into confusion as he started at klitz, waiting for a response. the former, however, was internally cursing himself and his brain for shutting down under pressure. he directed his eyes to eli's hands once more. "nails." he muttered, his face flushing with embarrassment.
eli froze momentarily before bouncing back, "it's totally cool, right? i think it looks sick!" his smile faded a bit, "you don't think it's like..gay or uh – weird or something do you?"
klitz, once more, was stricken with shock. eli, mr. unwavering confidence himself, picked insecurely at the glossy polish on his nails, anxiously preparing to be reprimanded. why did it matter what klitz thought but not their classmates? what was so special about klitz's opinion?
the shaggy haired male shot his hands out, waving them around wildly, "no dude! it's super cool; awesome, even! i'd totally paint mine if i had the stuff."
klitz smiled nervously at his friend through his slightly fogged up glasses, trying his hardest to read the emotions in his eyes. eli stared back, a smile of his own gracing his features (something klitz would never admit to anyone – not even matt – is that he thought the way eli smiled was really cute, all gums and no eyes just pure, unbridled joy) they fell into a companionable silence, letting the chatter of fellow students fill in for them. klitz went back to staring at eli, this time all of him, not just his hands.
another admirable thing about eli, was that he was unapologetic. he wore tacky shirts and laced his beaten up converse haphazardly as if he wanted to trip over them. he collected cameras and watched porn whilst on the phone with his friends; he talked with his mouth full and he snored loudly in class and doodled all over his arms. when anyone would confront him about "changing for the better" he'd scream at them to go fuck themself then continue on with his day unbothered. he tripped people on the bus and would take any dare. and yeah, he was loud (vocally and personality-wise) but he could also be gentle. he liked kids and baking cookies and, if interested enough, he could read for hours (though he preferred to be read to) eli was just so..eli and klitz thought it was beautiful.
"i could do yours, y'know?" eli said, pulling klitz back into the real world.
klitz blinked, "what did you say?"
eli rolled his eyes affectionately, a teasing smirk on his face, "i said i'd paint your nails, if you want of course. i've got a shit ton of colors at my house, plus we can finally do that mortal kombat rematch."
klitz fidgeted with his glasses, trying his hardest not to look into eli's eyes. "yeah sure," he responded bashfully. eli pumped his fist into the air, dark brown eyes twinkling in anticipation. "it'll be so cool! since matt's off sucking face all the time we can try and beat his high score!"
the bell rang and they hurriedly collected their trash, continuing to discuss their plans for that night. eli talked excitedly, spewing ideas as if they've never had a sleepover before and klitz listened, occasionally throwing in ideas of his own. as they walked, klitz found it surprisingly easy to ignore the burning stares of the people around them and just focus on eli. another admirable trait, he was easy to get lost with. when they eventually parted to go to separate classes, klitz had to will his smile to disappear.
—
klitz had been to eli's house plenty of times, they'd been friends for years of course he had, but every time he stepped foot into the building he felt like he was witnessing something private, a whisper of the man he saw before him. the dining table was filled with lewd magazines and old newspapers, the trash can filled with empty hot pocket wrappers. there were a few dusty pictures of eli as a child scattered around, the only picture that seemed to be regularly cleaned was the one of eli's parents on their wedding day and he, to everyone's annoyance, kept his christmas tree up year round.
eli dumped his backpack at the front door and made his way to the kitchen, klitz set his bag down beside the couch and followed, taking a seat on the counter.
"want some ramen or something? i haven't gone shopping yet and it's about all I have besides like – steamed vegetables" eli asked, his voice soft with timidness at his near-empty cabinets.
klitz shrugged, "not really hungry and what's wrong with steamed vegetables?"
"um everything? they taste bad, they smell worse, the textures are downright horrific." eli listed off all the reasons why the frozen produce was a horrible choice of after school sustenance while klitz watched with an amused smile on his face. how eli could talk about practically anything was beyond the latter.
they fell into casual conversation as klitz jumped off the counter and helped eli find the only not burned pot in his house to make ramen. they talked about video games and pop quizzes and they expressed their happiness for matt and danielle. they talked about everything and nothing at the same time, filling the void of time with mindless chatter and salty noodles.
hours flew by like minutes, they talked and laughed and played games. some way or another they had moved to eli's bedroom. the walls were covered in band posters and he had glow in the dark stars plastered to his bare ceiling, the room smelled of eli's cheap cologne, klitz found it comforting.
eli pulled a small purple basket out from his desk drawer and excitedly hopped into his bed by klitz. "i stole all of these from the store down the street, pick whichever one you like!" he smiled wide, gesturing to the neat rows of glass bottles. klitz sat crisscrossed and shyly pulled the basket toward himself.
the rows were filled with everything from electric blues to nude pinks, klitz shifted through them all indecisively, throwing an exasperated look at eli and suppressing the blush that crawled up his neck. eli set a supportive pat on his knee and pulled the basket back to himself, humming a tune under his breath. for a few minutes he would pull out a bottle and hold it to klitz's hand, then shake his head and place it back in its designated spot.
"wait here, klitzy, '' eli said before rushing out of the room. klitz watched him go in confusion, but nodded anyway. he picked at a thread on his sock and looked around the room awkwardly. there was something just so eli about the whole space, the rest of his house was bare in leather furniture and meaningless paintings but in here was so full of personality it was practically bursting. from somewhere in the bleak horizon he heard a victorious exclamation of "YES!! FOUND IT!!" followed by rapid footsteps. he couldn't help but smile fondly at his friend's goofiness.
eli emerged and threw himself in front of klitz excitedly showing off the object in his hand. it was red nail polish, the color wasn't too bright but wasn't dark either, it was a good middle shade and klitz was happy to find that he liked it. he pushed his glasses farther up his face and nodded enthusiastically. eli congratulated himself and got a few papers from his floor to put klitz's hands on.
the polish was cold, it sent an excited chill down klitz's spine. eli gently held klitz's hand and focused on applying the polish carefully. klitz stared at him, smiling. his nose was scrunched in concentration and his hands were soft against klitz's own, he was just kinda handsome to the boy, in his own eli kind of way. he hadn't noticed eli start talking in the noise of his own thoughts, to be honest he wasn't fully hearing him with his mind screaming at him, he was completely consumed with eli eli eli.
the latter looked up at klitz. have his eyelashes always been that long? klitz's brain asked uselessly.
"klitz?" eli started, "something wrong?"
klitz could only stare. his gaze flickered around eli's face, memorizing the details. his eyes were deep brown but the lamp shining in the room made them seem more golden, his cheeks were adorably chubby, and his lips. what could he say about them? they were..alluring? captivating? tempting? he flitted his gaze back to eli's eyes only to find them staring at his own lips. he slightly leaned forward, eli followed. their eyes met for reassurance before their lips locked together.
the kiss was awkward and short but it felt like heaven – like utopia to them both. eli tasted like honeycomb chapstick, an odd but welcome fact. they pulled back and stared wide eyed at each other. their cheeks were tinged pink and their pupils were blown wide.
"dude." eli said
"i know." klitz responded.
they continued to look at each other, only this time with shy smiles and soft giggles. their foreheads rested together and their hands were clasped in their laps. occasionally, they'd peck the other on the lips just because they could. and then the lips turned to the cheeks and the nose and the forehead and they just couldn't keep their hands off one another.
there was a peaceful quiet between them as they situated themselves under eli's blankets. klitz's head was situated on eli's chest, listening to his heartbeat, his arm was thrown over the brunette's lower torso. eli, in turn, had one hand carding through klitz's messy hair and the other resting under klitz's chin.
"is this homo or no homo?" eli whispered, insecurity shining through his words.
klitz took eli's hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing it. "what do you want it to be?"
there was a quiet pause before the shorter spoke again timidly, "i think i want it to be homo."
nothing else was said, but klitz subconsciously clung on to eli a little tighter. they laid there with each other until the early morning sun began to shine through eli's curtains and they had to get ready for school. and when they walked through the unnecessarily heavy double doors with intertwined fingers, klitz effortlessly ignored the stares of his classmates. one more bullet point on the list of admirable things about eli brooks: he was an amazing kisser. but klitz doesn't think he'll share that one anytime soon.
[end]