Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

SMG4 created a new chatroom called 'The Glitchy Crew'

SMG4 added SMG1, SMG2, SMG3, and others to the chatroom

SMG4: So, I decided to make a chat for us so we can do crap more easily

SMG3: the chatroom name is The Glitchy Crew, but I ain't part of your crew so why am I here?

SMG4 made SMG1, SMG2, SMG3 moderators

SMG4: That is why (plus ur chill)

SMG3: crap, I can feel myself getting fatter

SMG2: You want us to be the moderators?

SMG4: You guys are the only people I trust and won't abuse the power

SMG1: Are you sure 3 will not abuse it?

SMG3: >:(
SMG3: Damn that was cringe why did I send that

SMG4: I am certain 3 will not abuse his abilities as moderator and if he does I will simply take them away
SMG4: Anyways we are lucky I did this early when no one was awake besides us

Luigi: Nah, I was just being respectful.

SMG3: tf u doing up this early of all people?

Luigi: I always meditate in the morning.

SMG1: Ah, I am sorry if we have interrupted your routine.

SMG3: mf so serious he apologized

SMG4 silenced SMG3 for 5 minutes

SMG4: I can still mute you lol

Chapter Text

Later that day

Mario: Ooooooh we got a chat now

SMG4: Yes, and YOU better not screw this place up

Mario: No promises
Mario: ...
Mario: @Everyone

SMG4: GOD DAMMIT MARIO

SMG3: lmao

SMG1: Wait, that is a good idea!
SMG1: We should get everyone here to set the rules.

SMG4: Is...no one showing up

SMG3: no it's just the weirdness of a chatfic

SMG4: What?

SMG3: what?

Meggy: Sweet, we have a chatroom for things now!

SMG4: Yeah and you guys better not screw this up (Mario, Bob, Swagmaster, and all the other dumbasses)

Bob: rude

Saiko: But he's right you know

Bob: oh I know

SMG3: gonna be the first to post something meme related here
SMG3 attached an image

Melony: I'm a god?

SMG4: Are... these all dead memes?
SMG4: Also, I'm in the cringe pit???

SwagMaster69: Oh god almost all of these are cringe as hell

SMG3: 1) 4, ur in the cringe pit as a joke cuz I'm supposed to hate you /j
SMG3: 2) yes, all of the memes are cringe why do u think they are in the graveyard

FM: ugandan knuckles in top tier?
FM: they are kinda cringe ngl

SMG3: ...

SMG3 has gone offline

Bob: Well FM, you're on a list now

FM: did I say something wrong???

SMG2: You uh
SMG2: Haven't been filled in on the latest "adventure" have you

FM: no?!

SMG4: Just talked to 3, he's fine just thinking

X: Mind filling me and FM in??

Bob: Terrance died lmao

FM: ohhhhh...

SMG1: SMG3 has been sensitive about the knuckles and its species.
SMG1: I don't blame him.

Tari: Can we move on from this topic? I don't like it.

Meggy: Same, not a huge fan of talking about death if you couldn't tell.

SMG3: yo, I'm back just had to back out for a sec

FM: Hey three, I'm sorry bout that I didn't know what exactly had happened

SMG3: It's all good man

Mario: I'm gonna go eat spaghetti now

Luigi: I think we should all take a break for now

SMG1: WAIT!
SMG1: We need to set up the rules still!

10 plus people went offline

SMG1: ...

Chapter Text

9:00 AM

SMG4: SMG4 attached an image

FM: lol

SMG3: god I was just falling asleep

FM: at 9 in the morning?

SMG4: It is 9 at night for him lol

SMG3: hate time in this damn graveyard

X: oof that must be bad for when you need to come to our realm

SMG3: yep
SMG3: also, that meme is ass four

SMG4: stfu your humor is broken cuz of the internet graveyard

SMG3: now this is a funny meme
SMG3 attached an image

SMG4: 💀

X: 💀💀

FM: 💀💀💀

Mario: I usually like memes with me in the format
Mario: But this one ain't it man 💀

SMG3: kcejbecebfjfbkewfb
SMG3: I hate this job
SMG3: @SMG1 didn't you do this shit in your universe?
SMG3: help me

SMG1: Well, yes I did
SMG1: But uhhh @SMG2 (help me with this one)

SMG2: SMG1 can't come up with an excuse
SMG2: he hated the job as well

SMG3: good, I'm forcing you to help me now

SMG1: Ok, only cuz I don't have anything else to do

SMG3: Good, I'll create a portal to you

Meggy: Yo 3, can u just create a portal anywhere?

SMG3: 1. sup lurker
SMG3: 2. Yeah, but like I gotta go back and forth kinda
SMG3: like this Graveyard -> Castle
SMG3: and if I want to go somewhere from the castle
SMG3: Castle -> Graveyard -> Your Mother's house

FM: finally he said something funny for once

Meggy: Ah okay interesting 
Meggy: Btw I don't think you want to go to Inkopolis.
Meggy: they practically harass humans on sight

SMG3: Yo 1 and 2, are we even humans?

SMG2: Good question

SMG1: I don't think so
SMG1: You and SMG4 (Along with any other SMGs) are made with code so I would say you are not human.

Tari: So they are a cyborg like me?

SwagMaster69: God what is with the lurkers today?

Luigi: Hypocrite

Bob: says you

Saiko: and you

Melony: What does "Hypocrite" mean?

SMG3: (Wikipedia definition of the word Hypocrite) Hypocrisy is the practice of engaging in the same behavior or activity for which one criticizes another or the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform. In moral psychology, it is the failure to follow one's own expressed moral rules and principles.^[1] According to British political philosopher David Runciman, "Other kinds of hypocritical deception include claims to knowledge that one lacks, claims to a consistency that one cannot sustain, claims to a loyalty that one does not...

Saiko: That is enough Internet for today

Meggy: Hard agree.

Tari: I think we all can agree on that

Saiko, Tari, and Meggy went offline

Melony: Thanks SMG3!

Melony went offline

FM: holy shit, Three got a thank you from a female???

SMG3: stfu, I'm going to get my 3 hours of sleep

SMG3 went offline

Chapter Text

SMG3 has created a chatroom called 'The Snitchy Chat'

SMG3 added Belle, Whimpu, Rob, Weegee Doll, JubJub

SMG3 made Belle a moderator

SMG3: So, SMG4 has a chat for him and his idiots so now this chat exists

Belle: Who said we were still part of your dumb crew?

SMG3: Me

Weegee Doll: You can not argue with him

Belle: holy crap, I can finally know what you are saying

Belle: nevermind SMG3 this is a genius idea

Whimpu: Didn't you treat us like shit or smth?

Belle: We should have killed you when we had the chance lmao

SMG3: Yeah but I'm good now

SMG3: that is how it works in the Kirby games right?

SMG3: Oh and I'm also a necessary key to keeping this universe alive and without me, your society of memes would fail to stabilize and would therefore collapse in on itself

Belle: WHAT?!?

SMG3: Source is SMG4 wiki: The Super Meme Guardians (commonly shortened to SMGs), or "Guardians", are a group of six beings known as SMG0, SMG1, SMG2, SMG3, SMG4, and Niles. The original five are natural born SMGs who were created in their Guardian Pods and have a number to give them individuality, while Niles is an artificially created meme guardian made by the God Box and doesn't have a number, nor does he resemble his avatar.

They are each sent to inhabit a universe in their own giant USB sticks, dubbed "Guardian Pods", and take on the form of their Avatar (except for Niles), though they are colored differently. Their objective is to protect their avatar to prevent their universe from collapsing on itself, and to protect the meme life cycle as memes are central to providing life to their universes.

The SMGs seemed to be sent to a universe in pairs: SMG1 and SMG2 were sent to the Toytoy Kingdom to protect their avatar, Spudnick, but they failed to protect him from Niles; while SMG3 and SMG4 were sent to the Mushroom Kingdom to protect Mario.

Rob:🌽🌽🌽

Belle: I thought it stood for Super Mario Glitchy 3?

SMG3: Well it DID for a long time

Weegee Doll: That was... a lot to take in...

Whimpu: for sure

JubJub:heloesn mdgyd3

Belle: Wait, that kid isn't dead?

SMG3: I know, surprising

Weegee Doll changed their name to 'Weegee'

Weegee: Much better

Belle: Holy shit nicknames!?

Belle: SMG3 I'm sorry for ever saying this was a bad idea

SMG3: lol

Belle changed Whimpu's name to 'Hentai addict' 

Hentai addict: I...

Belle: God I love being a moderator

Rob changed his name to 'C O R N'

C O R N: 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

Weegee: We get it, buddy, you like corn

SMG3 changed Belle's name to 'Oi Lady'

Oi Lady: I deserved that

SMG3 changed his name to '3>4'

JubJub: spot ruel l.ol

Belle changed JubJub's name to 'Incoherent speech'

Hentai addict: God help this chat

3>4: Hold on I'll ask

DMs SMG3->Melony

SMG3: Will you help my chat (say no)

Melony: Uhh...

Melony: No???

The Snitchy Chat

3>4: God said no

Oi Lady: Not even gonna question it

3>4: good idea

C O R N: 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

Oi Lady: Man is growing a whole cornfield out here

Weegee: That does appear to be what he is doing

3>4: Weegee, how do you type?

Weegee: Telepathically

3>4: ah

Incoherent speech: soo cooil

Oi Lady: woah an understandable sentence

Weegee: Why thank you, JubJub

Hentai addict: Hey SMG3?

3>4: yeah?

Hentai addict: are you in SMG4's chat? You are required to work with him now, right?

3>4: Yes, I am in his chat as one of the moderators and we have also become friends over since being forced to do meme things together

Weegee: These meme things sound quite complicated

3>4: They are to an uneducated mind

Hentai addict: So do you still hate him?

3>4: oh no, I just kinda pretend I do

Hentai addict: so it's like enemies to lovers?

Oi Lady: LMAO

Weegee: He just has to relate everything to hentai

3>4: NONONONONONO

3>4: ENEMIES TO FRIENDS

C O R N: 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

Weegee: I'm proud of you Rob

Weegee: Your cornfield is looking mighty fine

C O R N: thx

3>4: Ok, I'm going to sleep

Weegee: Have fun

Oi Lady: Ok, thx for doing this, I have something to look forward to every day now

Oi Lady: Wait why are you sleeping at 12 PM?

3>4: 😐

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

12:00 AM/12:00 PM (Living Realm/Internet Graveyard)

SMG3: SMG3 attached and image

Bob: Dude it is midnight wtf

SMG3: I have the right to be up

SMG3: It's morning for me

SMG3: What u doing up?

Bob: doing Bob things

SMG3: ah, should've figured

Mario: your meme wasn't funny btw

SMG1: I thought it was funny

Bob: what are you doing up?

SMG1: SMG code allows us to quickly adjust to major time changes (I'm at the Internet Graveyard rn)

SMG3: Really? it didn't feel that easy when I first started to live here

SMG1: maybe it is a previous feature only present in me and SMG2's code?

SMG4: Imma butt in now and say that I don't have difficulty adjusting to time changes

SMG1: oh

SMG3: Is

SMG3: there something wrong with me??

SMG1: If so, you shouldn't worry about it

SMG4: yeah lacking time adjustment isn't that much of an issue

Bob: I think he just doesn't want to feel inferior to 4 lol

Mario: yeah lmao

SMG3: ugh, stfu

SMG3: I probably have some secret ability that only I have and no other SMG has

SMG4: Lmao

SMG1: He could be right y'know

SMG4: I guess

SMG2: I know!

SMG2: If we get your gurdian pod then we can scan you and check your code!

SMG1: SMG2...

SMG1: All of our pods were destroyed during the explosion of the God Box

SMG2: Oh

Luigi: I could ask E.Gadd to whip something up maybe?

SMG3: Ok, what are YOU doing up at midnight

Luigi: Meditation

SMG3: I... ok yeah makes sense

SMG1: Please do ask the professor to make something if he could, Luigi

Luigi: Ok!

Dms Luigi->Professor Elvin Gadd

Luigi: Hey E.Gadd

Professor Elvin Gadd: already done

Luigi: what? how did u know?

Professor Elvin Gadd: time machine, my boy

Luigi: ok

Luigi: why don't we idk

Luigi: SAVE LIVES WITH THAT

Professor Elvin Gadd: ah but that interferes to much

Professor Elvin Gadd: plus with those time watcher monsters out there

Luigi: ok ok

Luigi: just kinda

Professor Elvin Gadd: crazy?

Luigi: yeah

Professor Elvin Gadd: I'll send the thingy over to the castle

Luigi: thx

The Glitchy Crew

Luigi: ok, he did it

SMG1: That fast?

Luigi: YEAH!

Luigi: He's just that smart

Mario: even I can tell your lying

Luigi: ugh

Luigi: E.Gadd has a time machine

SMG4: Excuse me?

SMG4: I think you made a typo?

Luigi: Nope

SMG3: where

Luigi: he said interference with death is to much

Luigi: SO NO

SMG3: but the temptation

Mario: can't the YT Remote time travel

SMG3: I

SMG3: forgot about that

Bob: He forgor💀

SMG3: don't worry I'll be good

SMG4: you better be

Meggy: I just woke up for some reason

Meggy: decided to check my phone

Meggy: I'm sobbing rn 😭

Luigi: I SHOULN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING UGH

Meggy: sorry, it's fine just

Luigi: crazy? I thought the same thing

Meggy: yeah, the idea is just crazy

SMG3: it's a tempting idea

SMG3: and I fell for it once

SMG4: and you will not again

SMG3: right

SMG1: Yes, it is a crazy and tempting ability to have BUT

SMG1: No matter what it allows you to do

SMG1: It is to risky to mess with

Dms Meggy->SMG3

Meggy: yo three

SMG3: sorry

SMG3: not happening

Meggy: what?

SMG3: you are going to ask for helping in sneaking to the time machine

SMG3: not happening

Meggy: oh no that is NOT what I am here for

SMG3: mhmm

SMG3: What do you want

Meggy:I actually wanted to ask how you have been doing

Meggy: I want to make sure YOU don't go to that machine

SMG3: oh

SMG3: I am perfectly fine

SMG3: finally getting used to things

Meggy: k that was all I wanted

SMG3: sorry for making such a quick assumption btw

Meggy: if anything it proved you aren't going to mess with the time machine

SMG3: right

SMG3: cya

Meggy: bye

Chapter Text

The Snitchy Chat

1:00 PM/1:00 AM (Living Realm/Internet Graveyard)

Oi Lady: Oi Lady attached an image

Hentai addict: F

C O R N: F

Weegee: oh, I forgot about that thing

Weegee: F

Incoherent Speech: f

3>4: ...

3>4: i REALLY don't wanna burst this bubble

Oi Lady: ?

3>4: The uh "Watermelon" is still with us

Weegee: Did you keep it or something?

3>4: no

3>4: It kinda became sentient and human

Oi Lady: When???

3>4: 2 years ago

3>4: 3 months after WOTFI

Weegee: WOTFI?

3>4: War Of The Fat Italians

3>4: the entire time you guys didn't know it was called that?

Oi Lady: literally no idea

3>4: hold on i'll add the sentient watermelon

DMs SMG3->Melony

SMG3: Hey, Melony

Melony: yeah?

SMG3: Do you wanna join a chat with the guys from when I uh...

Melony: was a meanie?

SMG3: yeah that

Melony: Sure!

SMG3: Cool!

The Snitchy Chat

3>4 added Melony to the chatroom

Melony: Hi guys!!

3>4: oh we use nicknames in this chat btw

Weegee: Woah, SMG3 wasn't lying

Oi Lady: surprised he wasn't

Oi Lady: hold on

Oi Lady changed Melony's name to 'Sentient Watermelon'

Sentient Watermelon: lol

3>4: No

3>4 changed Sentient Watermelon's name to 'God'

God: Why do you still call me that?

God: I'm still no where near as powerful as one

3>4: you can be

Weegee: I feel like we are missing a LARGE chunk of context here

3>4: ok

3>4: This is Melony 3>4 attached an image

3>4: and this is Fierce Deity Melony aka a God 3>4 attached an image

God: a lot of stuff has happened since we last saw each other

Oi Lady: Clearly

God: enough of me

God: what have you guys been up to!

Weegee: well

Oi Lady: nothing

C O R N: 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

JubJub: isihy bokins

Hentai addict: <---

3>4: all of their lives have been boring

Hentai addict: i've been having fun

Oi Lady: "fun"

God: What is "Hentai"?

3>4 has silenced Hentai addict and Oi Lady for 10 minutes

Weegee: Weegee attached an image

3>4: I specifically didn't mute you cuz I didn't think you would do this

3>4: You have proven me wrong

Weegee: what? did you think I don't have my own stash of meme?

God: so its clothes for chickens?

C O R N: C O R N attached an image

3>4: NO NOT YOU TOO

3>4: ok Melony

3>4: I am going to formally request for you to not ask what Hentai is as it contains things that someone as inoccent as yourself should be seeing

God: Ummm ok?

3>4: Good

3>4: im gonna take a nap bye

The Snitchy Chat

At midnight in the Living Realm

Oi Lady: HENTAI

Oi Lady: IS

3>4: 3>4 has silenced Oi Lady until unsilenced

3>4: NO

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Chat

Mario: lmao

SMG4: ?

Mario: I walk into your office and see this mofo

Mario attached an image

(ART BY SUNS64 (aka me))

SMG4: he's glowing???

SMG4: in MY office??

Mario: lol

Mario: want me to wake him up?

SMG4: yes plz

Mario: ok just did

SMG4: and?

Mario: he uhhh

Mario: Mario attached an image

Mario: hes just frozen like this

SMG4: shake him?

Mario: oh

Mario: he is good now

Luigi: Sorry about that SMG4

Luigi: frozen due to the initial shock of leaving the astral plane

SMG4: I hate that you can say that so casually

SMG4: why were you in my office btw?

Luigi: I tend to teleport without realizing it when trying to meditate sorry

SMG4: can you teleport on purpose?

Luigi: yes, if I get comfortable and meditate properly

SMG4: wow you can do a lot with ur abilities

Mario: yeah, he was the one who let Melony do her Super Melon mode

SMG4: its Deity Mode not "Super Melon mode"

Luigi: oh yeah I did do that didn't I

SMG4: where would we be if you didn't do that

Mario: dead probably

Luigi: Mario is right with that one

SMG4: I agree

SMG3: wtf y'all talking about I just checked my phone

SMG3: ok I just scrolled up and Luigi is just another god

SMG3: I have 2 gods within my local area

Luigi: I don't think im a god?

SMG4: just looked it up and I'd say you are a Vicus-God

SMG4: aka 1/4 god

SMG4: Melony is a god though cuz Deity and God mean the same thing

SMG3: hah take that @Melony

SMG3: You are a god

Melony: oh cool!

Mario: we can just normally say "hah I was right you are a god!"

Luigi: so I'm part god?

SMG4: you just have some features of a Vicus-God

SMG4: but one of your parents wasn't a god

Mario: but me and Luigi are star children

Luigi: idk if that means we were born from a god tho

SMG4: ah

SMG4: idk at this point I'm not doing anymore research

SMG2: btw Luigi did you get that machine to check SMG3's code yet

Luigi: oh yea I got it this morning

Luigi: forgot to mention it

SMG2: great! SMG3 when do you wanna do this whole thing

SMG3: will it be painful?

SMG2: not at all, you just gotta sit still

SMG2: we will need you to be sleeping if we want to modify your code tho

SMG3: oh shit you can do that?

SMG1: I recommend we do not do that it could be risky

SMG2: right

SMG3: yeah we can check it tonight or something

SMG2: then thats when we'll do it

SMG1: we'll do it at the Temple in the Internet Graveyard

SMG1: best if it is just Me, SMG2, SMG4 and of course SMG3

SMG4: fine with me

SMG3: alright Imma go rest up for now cya

SMG3 went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG4: this looks cool as hell

Meggy: What does?

Mario: you've been to hell?

SMG4: I'm talking about the scanning thingy they're doing to SMG3

SMG4: it looks really cool

Meggy: oh!

Tari: send a pic plz!

SMG4: aight

SMG4: SMG4 attached an image

(Drawing made by SMDA64 (Co-Creator))

Mario: woah floaty text

Mario: looks funny

Tari: that does look really cool!

Meggy: did you guys figure out why it is doing that uhhhhhh

Meggy: glitching???

SMG4: SMG1 & SMG2 think it's because of when me and SMG3 got grabbed by Zero

SMG4: during the 10 year party

Tari: does that mean you have something glitched as well

SMG4: 'bout to find out

SMG4: they gonna scan me now so cya

Meggy: bye!

Tari: Good luck!!!

SMG3: "Good luck!!!"

SMG3: what does he need luck for? he's just gonna stand there

Tari: Oh Hello SMG3!

Tari: also...idk

Mario: that was so passive-agressive lol

SMG3: wait u know what passive-agressive means Mario?

Meggy: damn someone woke up on the wrong side of the beg

SMG3: nah i'm just being funny

Mario: ye he is just doing a lil bit of trolling

SMG3: ur just uneducated in humor

Tari: your humor is making fun of innocent people?

SMG3: thats like, half of my personality lol

Meggy: that is not good dude

Meggy: you should go see a therapist about that or smth

SMG3: girl, I AM the therapist

Mario: wait what???

Mario: you told me you got canceled??

SMG3: my show did

SMG3: but I still got my degree and am still legally a therapist

Mario: dude therapists make some serious cash

SMG3: yeah but I've got to do this meme stuff now

SMG3: but I do still have some dead memes as clients every now and then

Meggy: speaking of meme stuff what is taking SMG4 so long?

SMG3: they have to go through his ENTIRE code to check for stuff

SMG3: unlike me, cuz they knew my issue

Meggy: ah ok

SMG3: now that I think about it, a lot of us really need some therapy don't we

Mario: oh for sure lmao

Meggy: I would get some from you now that I know you're still a therapist

Meggy: but idk if I can trust you

Tari: no offense

Tari: but I agree with Meggy

SMG3: bruh?????

SMG3: what do u mean you don't "trust me" with therapy

SMG3: I'd understand if it was me being tasked with saving ur life (which I have done multiple times btw) but

SMG3: therapy??

Meggy: idk man just a gut feeling sorry

SMG4: guuuuysss

SMG4: don't argue pls

Tari: you are back!

SMG4: yep, I'm back

SMG4: they didn't find anything major just some minor things that don't interfere

SMG4: also don't argue about 3 being a good therapist or not

Meggy: sorry

SMG4: he is an amazing listener lol

SMG4: dunno why you guys don't trust him

Tari: well MAYBE it's cuz he has tried to get rid of us a couple times

SMG3: THAT WAS 2 YEARS AGO

Meggy: but you still did it

SMG3: ugh

SMG3: I did and I'm sorry about it

Mario: lol u guys have to seriously move past the fact he did those thing

Mario: he is a chill dude

SMG4: uh oh watch out Mario is in serious emotional mode

Mario: Waluigi tried to kill the entire Kingdom and y'all moved past that quickly

SMG3: uh oh he busted out the "y'all"

Meggy: I did not expect Mario to be the one to give me a lecture on this

Tari: I guess he is right tho

Tari: we should just move past the thing SMG3 did in the past

SMG3: I get it blablalallabla, this is getting too emotionally cringe for me

Meggy: but you're a therapist? You should be used to this kind of stuff

SMG3: not when it is about me

Meggy: okay long apology short, I'm sorry I haven't been trusting you

SMG3: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

SMG3: What do you think SMG4, should I accept this apology

SMG4: idk man, seems kinda sus to me

Mario: SUS LIKE AMONGUS??????????????????????????????

Meggy: UGH

SMG3: we are just joking lol

SMG4: just had the urge to do a little tomfoolery

SMG3: I will accept ur apology

Meggy: ok thank you

Saiko is now online

Saiko: sup guys

Saiko: ...

Saiko: cya guys

Saiko went offline

Mario: the anime lady could not handle our funny little antics

SMG1: guys me and SMG2 have some bad news...

Tari: what???

SMG1: we figured out that SMG3 has Ligma

SMG2: and we have to go to sawcon to cure him

Meggy: What is Ligma and where is Sawcon!???

SMG1: LIGMA BALLS

SMG2: AND SAWCON THIS DICC

SMG1: SMG1 attached a gif

SMG3: HOLY CRAP

SMG4: LMAO

Mario: Bro this is the best day ever lol

Meggy: i feel...

Meggy: betrayed

Meggy: you two were the only ones I trusted to NOT cause chaos in this chat

Tari: I'm taking a nap

Tari went offline

Meggy: me too

Meggy went offline

SMG2: it has been way too long since we did a joke

SMG1: I know

SMG1: that was good lol

SMG3: "good"

SMG3: bro that was AMAZING

SMG4: I thought you really had some bad news for a sec jeez

SMG2: sorry about that

SMG4: nah the pure joy of seeing you do that made up for it

Mario: I just can't believe it was you two who did that

Mario: like meggy said, I didn't expect you guys to cause chaos

SMG1: we are meme guardians, it is our job to make joke and continue the meme life cycle

SMG2: alright me and 1 have to go cya

SMG3: bye lol

SMG1 and SMG2 went offline

Mario: lol I gonna go eat spaghetti

SMG4: "eat"

Mario went offline

SMG4: btw SMG3

SMG3: yeah?

SMG4: I heard Melony talking about the Anti-Cast or something

SMG4: do u guys have a groupchat?

SMG3: oh ye we have a chat

SMG4: k, just don't let them entirely ruin her innocence alright?

SMG3: I'll try lol

SMG3: cya

SMG4: bye

SMG3 and SMG4 went offline

Chapter Text

The Snitchy Chat

3>4: SMG3 attached an image

3>4: Me when I find out that my literal code is fucked up

Oi Lady: ???

3>4: lol it's so funny watching you all struggle to understand my life nowadays

Weegee: but like

Weegee: can you explain please

Hentai addict: wtf you mean code?

3>4: I literally have code in my brain

Oi Lady: Source?

3>4: It's me, I am the source

3>4: nah but seriously, 1 and 2 told me the SMGs have code in us and I realized there was something wrong with mine

3>4: so we scanned me and found out some of it is glitched

3>4: lol

 Weegee: hol'up are you ok tho?

Oi Lady: yea r u gonna die or smth

3>4: i am gonna be fine guys

Hentai addict: damn woulda been funny if u were going to die

Weegee: no it would not???

Oi Lady: as funny as it WOULD be

Oi Lady: i'm glad you are ok

3>4: I appreciate that

C O R N: 🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽CORN🌽

3>4: 3>4 attached a gif

Weegee: he is doing something beautiful

Hentai addict: he just has that connection with corn I guess

Oi Lady: just like you with Hentai?

Hentai addict: i'm not even gonna deny it lol

Weegee: good, because no one would believe you if you denied it

3>4: this chat is just something else

Oi Lady: lmao

Weegee: if you don't mind me asking

Weegee: what is the chatroom with SMG4 and his friends like?

3>4: calmer than this thats for sure

3>4: we use it for more serious stuff but we still do some memes now and then

3>4: there is around 16 people in it also

Oi Lady: jeez

3>4: also no nicknames sadly

3>4: but that is for the better I think

Hentai addict: dang

Henati addict: sounds boring

3>4: it is sometimes

Weegee: maybe you could ask some of them if we could make a combined chatroom with some of them?

3>4: Good idea!

3>4: I'll go ask 'em

The Glitchy Chat

SMG3: HUMANS, NON-HUMANS, AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN

SMG4: WHAT

Mario: what do u want, I was busy with my spaghetti

SMG3: yeah yeah stfu

SMG3: WHO WANTS TO JOIN A CHAT WITH ME AND THE ANTI CAST???

SMG4: oh?

SMG3: PROBABLY GONNA BE ALMOST NO RULES AND MODERATION

Mario: so a chat for the crazy people?

SMG3: YES

Mario: then count me in!

SMG4: I'll join for the memes lol

Bob: just got on and read up

Bob: hell yeah i'm joining

Luigi: I'll sit out for that one

Chris: I ain't gonna join but I'll message Swag about it

Chris: cuz he would love a chat like that lmao

SMG3: cool, anyone else?

FM: put me on the list

FM: i'll cause nothing but absolute chaos

Mario: that is everone here I can think of that would join

Mario: actually, can you add Bowser and Toad to that chat?

SMG3: yeah sure

SMG3: anyways imma go do that now

SMG3 created a new chatroom called Absolute Chaos

SMG3 add SMG4, Mario, Bob, and 8 others

SMG3: welcome to hell, what can I do for you?

SMG4: you can kill me

Bowser: yo a chat that I was actually added to?

Mario: you can thank me for that

Bowser: whats this place about btw?

SMG3: just whatever the heck u want

SMG3: literally no rules (except no getting too personal) and no moderation

Bowser: hell yeah

Toad: finally, I've truly found the chat I belong in

FM: Home sweet home

Belle: yoooooo people i've never met in my life before

FM: yeah we are the forgotten SMG4 characters

Bowser: it's just cuz smg4 won't put us in videos nowadays

SMG4: srry 'bout that

SMG4: I just gotta follow the YT algorithm

Bowser: i understand

SMG3: RANDOM NICKNAME TIME

SMG3 changed his name to 'DeadMemer'

SMG4: it is only downhill from here

SMG4 changed his name to 'MemeMachine'

Mario changed his name to 'SpaghettiMan'

FM changed his name to 'FuckingMoms'

Belle changed her name to 'Oi Lady'

DeadMemer: Belle ur boring, that is the same name in the Snitchy chat

Oi Lady: don't fix it if it ain't broken

Bowser changed his name to ihave8children

Toad changed his name to CANDY

Rob changed his name to CornDude

DeadMemer: oh god get ready for rob and his corn addiction

Oi Lady: I would be more careful about Whimpu's porn addiction

Whimpu changed his name to HentaiGuy

HentaiGuy: no rules means I'm allowed to do WHATEVER I want here right?

DeadMemer: there is now a new rule

DeadMemer: no porn, for the sake of this chat

HentaiGuy: ugh fine

Weegee Doll changed their name to Weegee

Weegee: look SMG3, I'm boring cuz I use the same nickname

DeadMemer: ur boring no matter what lol

SpaghettiMan: 💀

MemeMachine: did everyone who is online change their nickname?

DeadMemer: pretty sure

FuckingMoms: now the chaos REALLY begins

ihave8children: HECK YEAH!

Oi Lady: do u really have 8 children tho lmao

ihave8children: yes i do and i hate it

HentaiGuy: man really went at it then huh

ihave8children: 7 of them are adopted dipshit

CANDY: bro i've always wondered why you adopted 7 kids

ihave8children: for evil villain purposes

SpaghettiMan: you had to regain custody of them once lol

ihave8children: we don't talk about that

SpaghettiMan: just like we don't talk about Boys VS Girls?

ihave8children: EXACTLY LIKE THAT

Weegee: I really want an explanation on this "Boys VS Girls" thing

MemeMachine: no you don't because Bowser and Mario will go ranting about how bullshit it was

ihave8children: CUZ IT WAS BULLSHIT

MemeMachine: I never said it wasn't

Oi Lady: now I REALLY wanna hear about this

SpaghettiMan: alright

SpaghettiMan: it started when me, Bowser and another one of our friends went to a campsite with Meggy, Tari, and Saiko

Mario and Bowser explain and rant about the whole trip for a long time

Chapter Text

Absolute Chaos

DeadMemer: @MemeMachine ur fans suck so bad 💀

MemeMachine: thx Captain Obvious

Oi Lady: ok, I understand the whole 4th wall breaking thing

Oi Lady: but how bad are his fans really?

DeadMemer: terrible

FuckingMoms: they are not that bad smg3

MemeMachine: I will admit that my fanbase isn't the best but we are not going to start a flame war in this chat

MemeMachine: end of topic

DeadMemer: ok here is an idea

DeadMemer changed his name to 'Therapist'

Therapist: give me idk 50 bucks or smth and i'll give u therapy lol

Therapist: i need something to do im bored

ihave8children is now online

ihave8children: whats ur paypal

Therapist: u just showed up so randomly but ok

Therapist: i'll DM u my paypal

Therapist: anyone else??

MemeMachine: @SpaghettiMan it's your time to shine buddy

SpaghettiMan: you think I have that kind of money lmao

Therapist: nah u need it so bad imma give it to you for free

SpaghettiMan: I don't need it tho

SpaghettiMan: my stupidity is mostly an act

Therapist: Mario, that is having another personality and isn't good to do long-term

ihave8children: dude when ever I am in a video, you seem like an entirely different person

MemeMachine: I agree with bowser

MemeMachine: you are so different during recording sessions

Therapist: Mario?

SpaghettiMan: yeah?

Therapist: do you know if you have Dissociative Personality/Identity Disorder?

SpaghettiMan: I uhhh idk lmao

Therapist: where r u right now?

SpaghettiMan: my house

Therapist: cool

Therapist: get comfortable cuz we are doing a makeshift therapy session

Therapist: btw @ihave8children I'll come over to you tomorrow or something

ihave8children: alright thats cool

Therapist, SpaghettiMan, and 1 other went offline

Oi Lady: ...

Oi Lady: I just exposed Mario because I asked how bad SMG4's fans are...

Oi Lady: lmao

MemeMachine: i think i'll head over to Mario's house and help a little

The Glitchy Chat

FM: I think we just discovered that Mario has a Personality Disorder by making a joke in the combined chat

Saiko: wtf??

Meggy: what?

Meggy: sorry but I don't exactly know what that is

FM: ah, it's a Phychological Disorder where someone has multiple personalities

Meggy: wait that makes a lot of sense

Tari: Is he alright?

FM: yeah SMG3 is headed to his house to give him a "makeshift therapy session"

Meggy: oh he is actually gonna do therapy now?

FM: yeah he is offering therapy for $50

Tari: That is quite a bit of cash

FM: just looked it up and the average therapy session is $65-$250 per hour

FM: he is giving us a huge bargain

Saiko: therapy is that expensive?

Saiko: no wonder that was his original career path

Meggy: I think it is funny that the guy who hated us all is now our group's therapist

Tari: you said that you guys figured it out by a joke in the chat?

FM: when SMG3 offered therapy to us SMG4 made a joke implying that it could make Mario less dumb (the joke)

FM: but Mario said that his stupidity was mostly an act, then Bowser pointed out how big the difference between his personality on and off videos is

FM: and SMG3 apparently noticed that as a red flag for the disorder or something (there are a lot of other details)

Tari: I hope Mario will be ok

SMG3: well you don't have to hope any longer

Meggy: Oh! how did things go?

SMG3: pretty well, Mario is fine but he does have another personality

SMG4: we found out that he has a trigger for it

SMG4: whenever he knows he is being recorded it happens

SMG3: he is still the same guy for the most part, just...dumber

SMG3: but I suggest we don't treat him as an idiot while doing videos and it shouldn't get worse 

SMG3: plus i will be doing proper therapy sessions with him

Meggy: good to know he is healthy

Mario: yeah I'm fine

Saiko: I'm confused on how you just become dumb instantly

SMG3: the brain is just weird like that lol

Mario: im going to take a nap, therapy is tiring

SMG3: me too, being a therapist is tiring

SMG4: me three, watching therapy is tiring

Mario, SMG4, and 1 other went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Chat

Saiko: hey should we add Kaizo to the group chat now?

SMG3:idk ask @SMG4, he's the only one who can add people

SMG4: oh uh gimme a second to think

SMG4: I don't think we should add him until he is a major character

SMG3: and then he becomes a side character 2 months later

Luigi: I think it's cool that him and Saiko are game characters

SMG3: attached an image

SMG3: but you're a game character

Luigi: yeah but uhhh

Mario: hold on Luigi, I've been doing these video my entire life I can explain

Mario: Ahem

SMG3: What have I done

Mario: So, a lot of us are video game characters such as Me, my bro, Bob, Boopkins, etc.

Mario: But in the SMG4 universe we are not "Game Characters" we are the mascots for the games

Mario: Nintendo still makes games and stuff but we exist outside of them as ourselves

Mario: now, Saiko and Kaizo on the other hand are not game characters in the real world (or the Great Beyond as 1 and 2 call it)

Mario: so they are what we would consider a true game character in this universe

Mario: In conclusion, Luigi was right and SMG3 is wrong

SMG3: Translation, "In conclusion, don't correct anyone or I will become actually smart on ur ass"

SMG3: are there even any other true game characters?

Mario: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mario: ah, the characters in Super Smash Each Other In The Ass Bros

Mario: but that is all I can think of right now

SMG3: hold on... I just thought of something bad

SMG4: go on...

SMG3: Saiko and Kaizo are true game characters, and Saiko's game can not function without her

SMG3: and we are profiting off of the fact the game crashes (plus we stole a whole damn character)

SMG4: ok?

SMG3: can the game creators sue us?

SMG4: uhhhh idk?

Mario: didn't Meggy go to law school for a while? She could tell us

SMG3: dang that girl has always been on and off about everything

SMG3: Including her friendship with Mario

Mario: @Meggy help us

Meggy: ok I'm here, what do you need help with?

Mario: read up 10 or so messages

Meggy: ok well does every copy of the game crash or is it just the one Saiko has? (also stfu SMG3)

Mario: anyone know?

SMG3: I think I know someone who knows

DMs SMG3->Whimpu

SMG3: yo, you've played this game called "Kevin's School" before right

Whimpu: Yeah! It's the game Saiko comes from

SMG3: yeah yeah, does it crash now that Saiko is no longer in it

Whimpu: yes it does, sadly

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: I'm back with some info

SMG4: the spill it

SMG3: all copies of the game crash

Meggy: you guys are the cause of the crash so, yes they could probably sue you

Saiko: it has been a long time tho so they most likely do not care

SMG4: well we best keep our guards up

SMG3: alright I have to go do some Internet Graveyard crap, cya

SMG4: I should go and do meme stuff as well

SMG3 and SMG4 went offline

Saiko: I'm gonna go uhhh idk what to say so I'll just log off

Saiko went offline

Mario: Btw I still rate Kevin's School 0/10

Mario went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Bob: @Everyone I'm bored as hell

Saiko: So???

Bob: What should I do?

Meggy: I think you should die

Luigi: That's not very nice Meggy!

Meggy: and what do you suggest he does?

Luigi: I suggest we all play a game :)

SMG3: That smiley face made it creepy tbh lol

Bob: What game are we playing?

Luigi: we should play "2 truths and a lie"

Luigi: Maybe we'll learn some new things about each other

Bob: I'm down to play

Saiko: I don't have time for this

Saiko went offline

SMG3: lol lets do this

SMG3: @SMG4 you gonna join

Mario: I'm interested

SMG4: Sure I'll play

Mario: Luigi suggested the game so he should go first

Luigi: ok lemme think

Luigi: 1. I've used my meditation powers to steal

Luigi: 2. Spaghetti isn't my favorite food

Luigi: 3. I find Mario annoying you guys amusing

SMG4: oh jeez this is tough

SMG3: 2 is the lie

SMG4: umm, 1 is the lie I think

SMG4: you're to wholesome100 to steal anything

Bob: 1 lol

Mario: 1 is the lie, I know my bro like I know my love for spaghetti

Luigi: 1 was the lie!

Luigi: SMG3 gets to go next cuz he was the odd one out

SMG3: alright

SMG3: 1. Me and 4 are good friends

SMG3: 2. I hate my internet graveyard job

SMG3: 3. I actually enjoy hanging out with the Glitchy Crew

SMG4: 3, I'm pretty sure

Luigi: I believe 1 is the lie

Bob: 3, I know you hate us

Mario: 2 is the lie

Mario: you've been hanging out with SMG4 & the crew way too much to hate them + I know you like ur job

SMG3: Mario was the only one right lmao

SMG4: why are you actually smart?

Mario:  I don't think i'm that smart

Mario: Just analytical

Bob: You should do an IQ test

Mario: Gimme a minute

Bob: What do we do while we wait?

SMG3: just chat I guess

Luigi: So you and SMG4 are actually good friends

SMG3: yeah I just pretend to hate him

SMG4: I'm surprised no one but Mario has caught on that we've been hanging out

Bob: and you enjoy hanging out with the crew lol

SMG3: well, MOST of them

SMG3: some still haven't gotten the memo that I'm sticking around

Mario: just finished

Bob: and?

Mario: I got an IQ score of around 115

SMG4: Mario, That is above average!

SMG4: and only 15% of the population has that high of an IQ

Mario: oh damn

Mario: I'm smart

Luigi: well a high IQ doesn't mean you're smart

Mario: stfu Luigi

Bob: I'm just surprised he doesn't actually have -4 IQ

SMG3: srry guys but I got to go due to bein a therapist

SMG3 went offline

Mario: welp Imma go eat spaghetti

Mario went offline

SMG4: still the same Mario i've always knew

SMG4 went offline

Luigi: I'm going to join Mario

Luigi went offline

Bob: and now i'm alone

Bob: wait

Bob: I never got my turn during 2 truths and a lie

Bob: dammit

Bob went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: attached a gif

SMG4: lol we've been hanging out irl a lot

SMG4: we just forgot this place existed

Mario: I saw this notification was like "wait we had a chat?" and it all came flashing back

SMG1: I for one, didn't forget about the chatroom

SMG1: I just didn't want to mention it

SMG1: Because I enjoyed the peace and quiet

Bob: Lol I forgot about this

Bob: I miss the chaos

SMG3: That's funny

SMG3: We all kinda went radio silent on all 3 chats

SMG3: at the same time

Mario: Maybe there is a deeper meaning here that extends to a dimension beyond our reach

SMG2: Like the great beyond?

Mario: Maybe

Bob: Nah that is stupid as hell

Luigi: that means that it isn't stupid

Luigi: cuz hell is a good idea as there should be a place to punish the bad people in this cruel world after death

Bob: jeez man it was just a metaphor

SMG4: lets not bring religion into this

SMG3: lol

SMG3: Get E.Gadds Time Machine and go back 2 months and prevent the chat from dying

SMG4: NO

SMG4: ABSOLUTELY NOT

SMG3: IT WAS A  J O K E

SMG3: But I guess u don't know what that is because ur not funny

SMG4: I'm just looking out for you

SMG4: I don't want you to cause any trouble, specialy with the space time continuum

Mario: Yeah 3, ur Boyfriend is looking out for you

SMG3: WTF

SMG3: WE ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT TOGETHER

Meggy: Didn't you two kiss a couple days ago?

SMG3: First of all, sup lurker

SMG3: Second of all, who tf told you that!?!??!

SMG3: last but not least

SMG3: MARIO HAD A GUN POINTED AT OUR HEADS

Meggy: Rumors spread fast + Mario recorded it

SMG3: I'm gonna kill him

SMG1: and destroy the entire universe in doing so?

SMG3: good

SMG2: You mentioned Mario using a gun right?

SMG4: Yes, Mario threatened us with a gun

SMG2: SMGs can only be killed by Zero or someone similar

SMG3: oh

Mario: lmao

Mario: get fucked

SMG3: so what other things are like Zero that can kill me?

SMG4: I would like to know as well plz

Mario: Fruity ass mfs 💀

SMG3: I'm leaving

SMG3 went offline

Meggy: He is in denial

Meggy: SMG4 are you in denial as well?

SMG4: stfu

Mario: go and hang out with ur bf or smth lol

SMG4: Y'know what

SMG4: Maybe I will

SMG4: also

SMG4: Screw you

SMG4 went offline

Saiko: I just woke up

Saiko: What happened?

Mario: SMG4 and SMG3 are gay

Mario: But SMG3 is denying it

Mario: SMG4 not so much

Saiko: Lmao

SMG3 is online

SMG3: Just wanted to let u all know

SMG3: I deeply regret sending that gif and reviving this damned chat

SMG3: Have a bad day

SMG3 is offline

Mario: lol

Mario: Worth it

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Chat

Mario: @SMG4 @SMG3

Mario: Wanna see a cool image

SMG4: Uhh Ok?

SMG3: No

SMG3: I know what it is

SMG3: don't

Mario: Imma send it now

SMG3: M A R I O

SMG3: I am warning you

Mario: Mario attached an image

Mario: Lmao

SMG3 went offline

SMG4: He is going to hunt you down

Mario: I know

Meggy: So like

Meggy: You and SMG3 are totally together right?

SMG4: NO

Meggy: But you like him?

Meggy:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SMG4: No?

Mario: You don't sound confident buddy

SMG4: I'm just gonna

SMG4 went offline

Mario: ...

Mario: they fruity af

Bob: Yo

Bob: What we talkin bout here

Bob: Just woke up

Meggy: Bob

Meggy: It is 1:00 P.M

Bob: You don't need to know what I did last night

Meggy: Didn't want to anyways

Mario: We are talking about how gay 4 and 3 are

Mario: They are in denial

Bob: ah

Bob: I thought they were already together?

Meggy: That's what I thought

Bob: swear I saw them holding hands yesterday

Meggy: You did??

Bob: ye

Mario: this is gonna be fun

Absolute Chaos

SpaghettiMan: @Everyone

MemeMachine: What now Mario

Oi Lady: Geez forgot about this

Oi Lady: What ya want to say

Therapist: Mario...

Therapist: DO

Therapist: NOT

IHave8Children: Oh hey guys

IHave8Children: Whats up?

FuckingMoms: This better be good

SpaghettiMan: SO

SpaghettiMan: Guess what

MemeMachine: Chicken Butt?

Therapist: You're gonna die?

Oi Lady: Uhhhh

Oi Lady: Idk did u got a World Record or smth?

IHave8Children: I have no guess

FuckingMoms: You found ur mom?

FuckingMoms: If so gimme her adress lol

SpaghettiMan: No none of those

SpaghettiMan: I found out

SpaghettiMan: That SMG4 and SMG3

SpaghettiMan: are totally in LOVE with each other

Therapist: NO WE ARE NOT

Oi Lady: oh shit fr?

FuckingMoms: Lmao holy crap

IHave8Children: crazy

IHave8Children: but aren't u 2 dating already?

IHave8Children: you 2 were holding hands the other day

Therapist: NO NO WE WERE NOT

IHave8Children: Jeez, for a therapist u don't know how to handle feelings

SpaghettiMan: lol Bob said the same thing about the hand holding

SpaghettiMan: @MemeMachine u have been quiet

SpaghettiMan: What do u have to say about this

MemeMachine: I

MemeMachine: I uhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh???//.......................................................................

MemeMachine: ????????

MemeMachine: Don't know

MemeMachine: gonna go contemplate life now???

MemeMachine went offline

Weegee: Now that is someone in love if I've ever seen one

Oi Lady: oh hey

Oi Lady: Also u know what love is?

Weegee: I've read my fair share of romance novels/movies

Oi Lady: Didn't take you for the romance kinda guy but ok

Weegee: You need some sort of substitute when you're a doll

Oi Lady: fair enough

Therapist: I'm going to become evil again

Therapist: So that I can kill ALL of you

Therapist: have a TERRIBLE rest of your day

Therapist went offline

SpaghettiMan: Totally in love

DMs SMG4->SMG3

SMG4: hey

SMG4: uhh

SMG3: don't wanna talk rn

SMG3: pls

SMG4: K srry..

Chapter Text

The Snitchy Chat

C O R N: @Everyone Sorry to bother you all

Oi Lady: oh god he speaks

Weegee: What has't thee finally spoken to us about

3>4 changed his name to Graveyardigan

Graveyardigan: Ah its this chats turn to be revived?

Hentai Addict: Hold up with that nickname changed

Hentai Addict: u are no longer better than SMG4?

Hentai Addict: also is it a pun based on The Backyardigans?

Graveyardigan: ye me & 4 are on equal ground now

Graveyardigan: and yes it it

God: are you sure it isn't just your crush on SMG4 getting to you?

Oi Lady: Holy Shit, the Melon God has spoken

Oi Lady: and informed us that you have a crush on your mortal enemy???

Graveyardigan: Can we not do this please?

Graveyardigan: and for the last time Melony, no I do NOT like 4!!

C O R N: Can we get back to me now?

Hentai Addict: But of course

C O R N: I need everyones opinion on something

C O R N attached an image

C O R N: In your professional opinions, which one is the best video?

Hentai Addict: Hard shucking is 100% underrated

C O R N: Finally a man of quality

Oi Lady: I just

Oi Lady: .............................................

Oi Lady: WTF?

Weegee: I'm going to have to disagree with both of you

Weegee: and say that Salty Taste is better

C O R N: A man of inferiority

Weegee: I am not man nor woman

Weggee: I'm simply just a Doll

Oi Lady: heh

Oi Lady changed Weegee's name to DOLL

C O R N: Very well then

C O R N: A Doll of inferiority

DOLL: Thank you

DOLL: But also

DOLL: NO!

DOLL: I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS SLANDER OF THE BEST VIDEO ON CORNHUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Graveyardigan: Can we not do this?

Graveyardigan: This is totally cringe

Hentai Addict: You're the one who just used cringe unironically

Graveyardigan: god I wish you guys could hear my sigh

DOLL: Ok

DOLL: we'll stop

DOLL: IF

DOLL: You wear a clown costume all day tomorrow

Graveyardigan: Jeez, if it'll get you guys to stfu

Hentai Addict: But u also have to record an at least 5 minute video of a tour of the internet graveyard while wearing it

Graveyardigan: You just want to see the Graveyard don't you

Hentai Addict: Kinda

Graveyardigan: K I'll do it

Oi Lady: always wondered what that place looked like

Graveyardigan: You could've just ask me and I would've let you visit???

Graveyardigan: or sended pictures???

Graveyardigan: You people sometimes man...

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Chat

Mario: @SMG3 @SMG4

Mario: I'm tired of playing this game

Mario: admit your love for each other or I will

Meggy: You will do what?

Mario: I'll do a ritual to revive Zero to kill myself!!!

SMG1: Mario, with due respect I do not think that is possible

SMG3: Just use E.Gadd's time machine lol

Mario: AHA!

Mario: You have finally arrived

SMG3: Dammit

SMG3: Shouldn't have outed myself for a joke

SMG4: Thank you for clarifying that it was a joke

SMG4: shit now I outed myself

Mario: DO IT

Mario: ADMIT YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER

SMG3: Jeez will it get you to stfu

Mario: YES

SMG3: @SMG4

SMG3: I have know you for as long as memory serves me (Literally)

SMG3: We have been enemies, we have teamed up, and we have done countless other things

SMG3: But...

SMG3: SMG4, I find the moments we team up the most special

SMG3: the most enjoyable

SMG3: I have felt a burning feeling inside me, SMG4

SMG3: that feeling...

SMG3: I think it is my love for you

SMG3: SO SMG4

SMG3: Let us put an end to this stupid act

SMG3: AND JUST TELL EVERYONE WE ARE DATING FOR AVATAR'S SAKE

SMG3: WE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR NO DAMN REASON

Meggy: That...took a turn???

SMG4: @SMG3

SMG4: I too, have had these...

SMG4: Burning feelings inside

SMG4: and I too, believe it is my love for you

SMG4: AND I TOO

SMG4: AGREE THAT WE DID THAT FOR TOO LONG

Mario: I WANT AN EXPLANATION FOR MY SAKE

SMG3: ok...

SMG3: Gimme a sec

SMG4: We need to recover from that

Meggy: I'll give it to ya

Meggy: You really had me in the first half

Mario: are...you not going to finish the meme

Meggy: ?

Mario: after saying "you had me in the first half"

Mario: You're supposed to say "Not gonna lie"

Meggy: oh... Sorry then?????

Mario: Lol its fine

SMG3: Ok we're back

Meggy: So from what I can tell

Meggy: This was all an act??

SMG4: Us being in denial and hating each other, yes

Mario: WHAT

Mario: My life is now even more of a lie

SMG1: Ok so, as being one of the two people who did know that they were together

SMG1: This has been hilarious

Mario: @EVERYONE

Mario: I need y'alls opinons on this

Saiko: I scroll up not even a couple messages and I wanna scream

Tari: Wait wait wait

Tari: How long HAVE you two been dating

SMG3: A little after we brutally murded Zero

SMG3: The part about finding "the moments we team up the most special" in my little rant was true

SMG4: And we both felt the same, so we started dating

Meggy: and the whole fake denial thing was because???

SMG3: Ok that was for an actual reason tho

Mario: Which is??

SMG3: We didn't know how you guys would react to 4 dating me

Tari: oh

SMG4: We looked back on previous convesations and decided it would be best to keep it hidden

SMG4: Then you guys took notice and we got kinda scared

SMG4: So we decided to fake being in denial

SMG4: But that only proved that you weirdos,

SMG4: Wanted us to date??

SMG3: So we would keep that act going till we felt comfortable

SMG3: Which is right now

Luigi: Sorry

Luigi: But that whole explanation thing

Luigi: Reminded me of that one part in Undertale

SMG1: lol

Mario: Be more specific?

SMG1: He means that one part when the monsters are explaining the fallen child's story

Tari: Oooooooh

Tari: Heh, it is kinda like that

Mario: I guess it kinda is

Meggy: I feel left out of this convo

Tari: You have never played Undertale?

Meggy: Nope, never played it

Tari: We need to make you play it now!

Meggy: All I know is the funny skeleton man

SMG1: Oh it is so much more than that

SMG1: It is truly the game ever

Meggy: "The game ever"?

SMG3: It's a meme phrase

Meggy: Ah ok

Meggy: I really need to learn more humor

Meggy: You'd figure me hanging out with you guys would do that

Luigi: Jeez, me mentioning Undertale led to a whole 'nother conversation

Mario: I'm still mad at 4 and 3 for hiding this

Mario: also @SMG1

Mario: You said you and SMG2 knew?

SMG1: Yeah, we did

SMG1: Kind of a "keep this between the guardians" thing

Mario: I think I need some spaghetti after all this

Mario went offline

Luigi: I'm gonna go meditate

Luigi went offline

Meggy: Are we just gonna have the obligatory "everyone says what they are gonna go do then they go offline" moment

SMG4: Yes

SMG3: Gonna go make out with four, now that I can publically say that

SMG4: Not publically saying it didn't stop you tho

Meggy: Oh God no

Meggy: I perfered it when we didn't know

Meggy went offline

SMG3 and SMG4 went offline

SMG1: Graveyard stuff while SMG3 is busy making out

SMG1 went offline

Mario is back online

Mario: This chapter was not sponsored by Toby Radiation Fox, but you should still go play Undertale, 10/10 game unlike Kevin's School

Mario went back offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Chat

11:00 PM (Living Realm)/11:00 AM (Graveyard)

SMG3: good morning

SMG4: 😐

Bob: Idiot forgot about his stupid time change

SMG3: oops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SMG4: god that shrug face is so cringe

SMG3: it's my job to be cringe dummy

Luigi: Just wanted to say screw you SMG3

SMG4: Woah

SMG4: Very uncharacteristic of you

Luigi: Sorry, I'm just annoyed

Bob: I understand why me, 3, and 4 are up at this time, but you?

SMG3: "MeDItATioN"

Luigi: Beat me to the punch

Luigi: But yes, I WAS meditating until YOU made my phone give me a noti

Luigi: I was in the middle of transcending to the Astral Plane

SMG4: Why do you meditate so damn much?

Luigi: It clears my mind

Luigi: And I get to to hang out in the Astral Plane with other meditators

Luigi: Where we do stuff

Bob: like??

Luigi: We play card games

Bob: mf just said they play card games

SMG4: Wait don't you win card games no matter what tho?

Luigi: Why do you think it's so fun

Bob: Ok that is kinda funny

SMG3: wait what other shit can you do

Luigi: I can teleport, create portals, and transform into objects

SMG4: Woah, and all you have to do is meditate?

Luigi: Yep!

SMG4: So anyone can just do it

SMG4: I mean, ur just a random dude, who can now teleport cuz of this

Luigi: Well, you have to have a clear mind, be able sit there and not think at all

Luigi: I don't think someone like, say Bob, could do it

Luigi: No offense, Bob

Bob: Wouldn't have the patience anyway lol

Luigi: Exactly

Luigi: So, THEORETICALLY, anyone can do it, but you have to got the mind to do so!

SMG4: So not me

SMG3: or anyone else in this group chat

Luigi: I think Tari and Melony could probably get the basics down

Bob: nah wtf there are "basics" and shit

Bob: how tf you even get into this shit?

Luigi: I'm just a natural

SMG3: Luigi, it is ok to call him a loser

Bob: stfu

Luigi: Okie Dokie, I'm going back to my "MeDItATioN" you losers

Luigi went offline

Bob: lmao cya bitches

Bob went offline

SMG3: yo 4 wanna smash

SMG4: Yeah just make sure to bring your switch this time

SMG3: oh ye last time I forgot it the only thing we could do was make out

SMG4: lol

SMG3 and SMG4 went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG4: So
SMG4: That happened

Meggy: It really did, huh?

Mario: Yeah!
Mario: We kicked that ape's ass in court

SMG3: Hell yeah we did!
SMG3: Although this new body is uhhh
SMG3: I have a beard?
SMG3: Oh and I already miss the mustache too

Meggy: You get used to losing something eventually
Meggy: I still miss my inkling form

SMG4: Well I think you look great

SMG3: Of course you're the one to say that

Mario: hey, you two can finally kiss without ur big ass noses in the way

SMG4: true that

SMG3: Fuck yea

FM: Yo haven't been in this chat in a while
FM: Just woke up and
FM: Wtf happened to my mustache

SMG3: Holy shit
SMG3: All the recolors changed?

X: Based on my observations
X: As I look different aswell

Meggy: The permanent Body Change Club is getting quite big then

SMG4: Meggy
SMG4: There are over 100s of recolors
SMG4: This is no longer a club anymore

Meggy: Oops

Mario: I want to bring up a random thing I noticed btw
Mario: Judge Kirby was Miyamoto right?

SMG4: Yeah?

Mario: What about Judge Kirby when he was first signed the DMCA

SMG4: Wait
SMG4: wtf

SMG3: Miyamoto's got the most random tricks up his sleeve
SMG3: Anyways lets talk challenges
SMG3: Mine was stupid
SMG3:I'm totally funny!!!

Mario: Ur just mad
Mario: Unfunny as hell

SMG4: Hey!
SMG4: I find him funny

Meggy: Yeah, because you date him

SMG3: SMG3 attached an image

SMG3: L+Ratio

Mario: Srry no offence 3
Mario: But you sounded so stupid when u said that during the rap

SMG3: Ok
SMG3: Just stfu

Mario: You know what?
Mario: You say yours was stupid?
Mario: Kirby cheated during the eating contest!

FM: I don't know what Kirby even did to cheat
FM: But u probably deserve

Mario: He ate me, I didn't deserve that shit man

FM: Lmao u 100% do

Mario: also @Luigi
Mario: Wtf u meant by my painting looks nothing like me

Luigi: It was so that SMG4 would win!
Luigi: That WAS the goal right?

Mario: omg
Mario: Luigi u genius
Mario: Why tf didn't I just lose on purpose

SMG3: Laywer Kong prob wouldn't let u
SMG3: Luigi just sneaked by

Luigi: I'm just that cool

Mario: No ur not

Luigi: Rude

Mario: Anyways
Mario: SMG4 calls ketchup Tomato Sauce

SMG3: Where are the divorce papers?

SMG4: NO SMG3
SMG4: WE'RE NOT MARRIED BUT STILL

SMG3: WHO TF CALLS KETCHUP THAT???

SMG4: ME OK?!?

FM: Ahh, couple fights, eh?

SMG3: STFU FM, U BITCH ASS MF

FM: WOOOOOOAAAAH PAL
FM: DON'T MAKE ME FIGHT BACK
FM: I'LL BANG UR MOM

SMG3: I DON'T HAVE ONE
SMG3: DUMBASS

Meggy: GUYS
Meggy: Calm down!

SMG4: KEEP OUT OF THIS
SMG4: U UNEMPLOYED TYPE BEAT

Meggy: UNEMPLOYED???

SMG4: YEAH, YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB

Meggy: I WORK FOR YOU!
Meggy: WE MAKE VIDEOS
Meggy: YOU PAY ME
Meggy: I'M ON YOUR EMPLOYEE LIST 100%

SMG4: I DON'T HAVE WHATEVER TF THAT IS

Meggy: Ok hold on
Meggy: You should probably get one
Meggy: Just in case lol

SMG4: I'm to lazy lol

FM: IF I CAN'T BANG SMG3 OR SMG4's MOMS
FM: I'M BANGING SOMEONE'S
FM: MEGGY

Meggy: WTF???
Meggy: 1. Thats weird
Meggy: 2. You'll die in Inkopolis

FM: yeah?
FM: omw there just to prove I can survive
FM: AND I'll do ur mom on top

Meggy: Have fun I guess?

FM went offline

SMG3: Just want to let u know he is 100% GOING to fuck ur mom
SMG3: He's just that good at it

Meggy: Does it look like I really care?
Meggy: No

Meggy went offline

Mario: I love you guys

SMG4: GAAAAAAAAAY

Mario: Platonically
Mario: PLATONICALLY

SMG3: srry Mario
SMG3: Already taken by the funny meme guy

SMG4: Yeah Mario, nothing personal
SMG4: But the ruler of an entire realm is WAY hotter than u are

Mario: even with his beard?

SMG4: even with the beard

SMG3: FUCK YEAH
SMG3: Lets make out now

SMG4: Totally

SMG3 and SMG4 went offline

Luigi went offline

Mario: bro entirely ignored the trope of saying something before going offline
Mario: damn

Mario went offline

SMG1: Wow
SMG1: Just spent my time reading up
SMG1: This is why I hate you guys

SMG1 went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Mario: Can we talk about that rap tho?

SMG4: ok sure lol

SMG3: Ok
SMG3: First of all
SMG3: Why did I only get ONE line!
SMG3: im literally a Mario lookalike

SMG4: ur a side character lmao
SMG4: anyways I had fun doing it

SMG3: bc u got the whole damn thing???

Mario: lol

SMG4: "bC U gOt THe WhOLe dAmN tHInG???"
SMG4: you wanna know who got the whole damn thing???
SMG4: @Meggy

Meggy: what up
Meggy: why did u @ me
Meggy: at 3 am

Mario: Because we wanted to call u at 3 am
Mario: (GONE WRONG???) {TURNED SEXUAL!!!} [POLICE CALLED????]

SMG3: omg lol

SMG4: U only found that funny cuz its a dead meme

Meggy: ok srry
Meggy: i read up
Meggy: like i should have
Meggy: instead of asking

SMG3: we get it get to the point

Meggy: stfu 3
Meggy: anyways
Meggy: i did the whole thing cuz im the laywer??
Meggy: if u didn't want my help
Meggy: could have told me lol

SMG3: should have told u then damn it

Meggy: remind me NOT to save him if he is hanging off a cliff
Meggy: going back to sleep

Meggy went offline

SMG4: Don't worry babe I'LL save you if ur hanging off a cliff

Mario: and then I'll push you both off lmao
Mario: Ok can we go back to the rap

SMG4: ok ok

Mario: so I know we brought up the fact we've saved da world
Mario: But we caused most of those threats

SMG3: ._.
SMG3: hi

Mario: I find it funny
Mario: Meggy brought u up, yet u didn't even threaten the world

SMG3: I deleted 4
SMG3: that would screw up the meme lifecycle

SMG4: We were just sent to the internet graveyard lol
SMG4: Me & You would just swap jobs in the long run

SMG3: huh
SMG3: didn't think about that

Mario: Speaking of the graveyard
Mario: any dead memes not recognize u?

SMG3: actually
SMG3: yeah lol
SMG3: it was funny
SMG3: but once they heard my voice the realized it was me

SMG4: Any of them point out the purple overalls?

SMG3: omg
SMG3: speaking of that
SMG3 SMG3 attached an image

(Art drawn by me! (SUNS64))

SMG3: I took this earlier
SMG3: with black overalls
SMG3: now u can shut up about it

SMG4: looks much better than purple
SMG4: also its so u to use the snapchat thing to cover ur eyes

Mario: You look emo lmao

SMG3: just let me put my skull earings on
SMG3: then you'll see emo

Mario: U HAVE SKULL EARINGS???

SMG3: yeah??
SMG3: don't wear them often

Mario: if I saw u wearing those
Mario: I would have know u were gay so much earlier

SMG3: I'm gonna send the photo to the anti-crew and see what they think of my HOT new body

Mario: lol

SMG4: Ok we keep getting sidetracked
SMG4: Mario, u said ur a "Dumbass with an IQ of zero"
SMG4: But we've discussed that ur actually smart
SMG4: and have an IQ of around 115

Mario: ok but we can't let Nintendo know that tho

SMG4: true

SMG3: oh another thing about the rap
SMG3: and Meggy
SMG3: she never denies our antics are too extreme

Mario: Cuz there is no denying that?
Mario: lol

SMG3: yeah but
SMG3: that is a HUGE hole in our argument
SMG3: and like u said earlier
SMG3: WE cause most of the world ending threats

SMG4: ok but like??
SMG4: we won the case???
SMG4: so i dont care?

SMG3: fair enough

Mario: damn I'm getting hungy
Mario: gonna head off for some spaghetti
Mario: Cya!

Mario went offline

SMG3: wow
SMG3: perfect timing
SMG3: SMG1 needs me for ded meme shit rn
SMG3: 'night 4!

SMG3 went offline

SMG4: lol prob not gonna go back to sleep

Chapter Text

The Snitchy Chat

Oi Lady: so does ANYONE have a single clue on what just went down???

Graveyardigan: lmao

DOLL: You know, don't you?

Graveyardigan: oh I 100% do

Hentai Addict: And your 100% NOT going to tell us?

Graveyardigan: Exactly
Graveyardigan: also
Graveyardigan: *You're
Graveyardigan: minor spelling mistake
Graveyardigan: I win

Hentai Addict: When were we in an argument

Oi Lady: OI
Oi Lady: I want my explanation on what the fuck happened

Graveyardigan: Ok
Graveyardigan: The Lawsuit Arc (also known as the Fighting Cancellation Arc, Nintendo Copyright Scandal Arc, Draconian Nintendo Arc, SMG4 v. Nintendo Arc, Rage Against Nintendo Arc, and Nintendo Lawsuit Arc) is a dystopian political science fiction comedy-drama story arc and the seventh overall story arc on SMG4's channel.

Oi Lady: That doesn't explain shit

Graveyardigan: I wasn't done
Graveyardigan: As the name suggests, it depicts a fictional account of what would hypothetically happen if Nintendo took hard legal action against SMG4's content and channel, with Lawyer Kong issuing a copyright violation lawsuit against SMG4 on Nintendo's behalf to re-obtain Mario along with other citizens in the Mushroom Kingdom to produce new games and eliminate SMG4 as competition, leaving SMG4 and Meggy Spletzer to combat them with legal support/defense by Phoenix Wright. Now it is up to SMG4 and Meggy to stop Lawyer Kong and Their Nintendo Corruption, and re-obtain the rights back to SMG4 before it's too late.
Graveyardigan: TL;DR, 4 got his ass sued by Nintendo so we duked it out in EPIC GAMER challenges
Graveyardigan: then we dissed on them classic WOTFI style

Hentai Addict: I was confused on why I had to make a ur mom joke against Bowser lol

Graveyardigan: I'm sure u guys noticed my new look

DOLL: New look?
DOLL: Guys, I have no idea what y'all are talking about.

Oi Lady: Oh right!
Oi Lady: U weren't there when he got it

Graveyardigan: Graveyardigan attached an image

Graveyardigan: This is the best pic i've got rn
Graveyardigan: uh, ignore the snapchat caption ._.

DOLL: wow
DOLL: No more Mario look?

Graveyardigan: yep
Graveyardigan: Mr. Myiamoto didn't like it

Oi Lady: huh
Oi Lady: When I first saw ur new look I thought the overalls were purple
Oi Lady: maybe I should get my eyes checked or smth

Graveyardigan: O.
Graveyardigan: M.
Graveyardigan: G.
Graveyardigan: CAN PEOPLE STOP POINTING IT OUT
Graveyardigan: I GET IT
Graveyardigan: THE PURPLE LOOKED TERRIBLE
Graveyardigan: I. GET. IT.

Oi Lady: Jeez
Oi Lady: I was gonna say purple wouldn't look that bad

Graveyardigan: idk why u think that would look even remotely good

God: Really? I thought it looked good!

Graveyardigan: omg Mel
Graveyardigan: I forgor u were in this chat
Graveyardigan: pls don't tell 4 about how much we curse with u in here lol
Graveyardigan: I kinda promised we wouldn't ruin ur innocence

God: Don't worry, I'm used to it!

Oi Lady: omg
Oi Lady: "Mel"
Oi Lady: U have a nickname for her!?

Graveyardigan: Uh yea?
Graveyardigan: that a big deal?

Oi Lady: It's just that u don't have a nickname for just anyone
Oi Lady: speaking of nicknames

Oi Lady changed God's name to 'Mel'

Graveyardigan: You're making this such a big deal

Mel: 3 and I hang out!
Mel: He's a cool friend!!

Hentai Addict: You hang out
Hentai Addict: Without us?

Graveyardigan: Yes
Graveyardigan: All the time

DOLL: He was not even afraid to admit it.

Oi Lady: It's just kinda weird
Oi Lady: You two are opposites
Oi Lady: on the innocence spectrum at least

Hentai Addict: 😏

Graveyardigan has silenced Hentai Addict for 2 minutes

Graveyardigan: Don't even try

Mel: Try what?

Graveyardigan: You dont need to know

Mel: Ok!

C O R N: 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

DOLL: Ah, Rob, it is wonderful to see your corn field flourishing.

Mel: 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

DOLL: Oh! And I can say the same about your melon patch too, Melony.

Oi Lady: But...the Watermelons are cut?
Oi Lady: Therefore, about to be...
Oi Lady: EATEN!

Mel: NO! >:(
Mel: They're not!

Graveyardigan: anyways, besides going to court
Graveyardigan: whats up with you guys?

Oi Lady: Ooh! I just took my UJM WR back from Tari!

DOLL: Cool, but I don't know what any of that means.

Oi Lady: I, Belle Fontiere, just got a 59:28.29 on my latest speedrun of Ultra Jump Mania (any%), reclaiming the World Record time, previously held by Tari's 60:09.69.
Oi Lady: Hope this helps!

DOLL: Thank you, this helped me immensely!

Oi Lady: edit:thx for the gold kind stranger!!

Mel: ???

Graveyardigan: It's a reddit joke, Mel
Graveyardigan: an app u should never touch

Oi Lady: Oh yeah, don't go there whatsoever
Oi Lady: They always remove my posts for no reason

Hentai Addict was unsilenced after 2 minutes

Hentai Addict: Really?
Hentai Addict: In my opinion, Reddit is one of the best social medias

Graveyardigan: No one asked for ur opinion
Graveyardigan: L + Ratio +

Graveyardigan has silenced Hentai Addict for 5 minutes

Graveyardigan: ur silenced

DOLL: Well, I've been doing some prepping
DOLL: Halloween is coming up, an I'm going to be the spookiest.

Graveyardigan: Right, I should probably get to decorating the Internet Graveyard soon

Mel: Can I help!?

Graveyardigan: Sure

Mel: Yay! (◠‿◠✿)

Graveyardigan: So that's what all of us have been up to
Graveyardigan: kinda boring

Oi Lady: I'm sorry???
Oi Lady: I just pulled of THE hardest UJM glitch, and you come in here and call it BORING???

Incoherent Speech: ofrgort me

Graveyardigan: I
Graveyardigan: completely forgot about you
Graveyardigan: mainly because this is the fourth message you have sent

Mel: What have you been up to Jub Jub?

Incoherent Speech: ulhpsi hy bposkdines

Mel: That's
Mel: Wonderful!

Oi Lady: Omg
Oi Lady: Melony, it's fine to say you don't understand him

Mel: oh
Mel: But that's rude!

DOLL: Well, sometimes the truth can be harsh
DOLL: That is our reality.

Oi Lady: shit
Oi Lady: I have to go like rn
Oi Lady: about 2 be late 4 a tascorp meeting

Oi Lady went offline

Graveyardigan: Jeez, she runs for Tascorp?
Graveyardigan: arent they for the super good runners or smth

DOLL: Yep

Graveyardigan: Arent there also rumors of physical abuse there?

DOLL: Yep

Mel: o.o That's bad!

Graveyardigan: Uh yeah
Graveyardigan: we'll deal with that

DOLL: Well
DOLL: I've got more spooky holloween stuff to set up
DOLL: Talk to you guys in like, probably weeks from now

DOLL went offline

Mel: I'm gonna go draw!!!

Graveyardigan: have fun or smth like that idk

Mel: I will!

Hentai Addict: So

Graveyardigan: ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyy gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddd maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn

Graveyardigan silenced Hentai Addict until unsilenced

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Melony: @SMG4 @SMG3
Melony:I drew you guys!

SMG4: Wait really?

SMG3: omg Lemme see

Melony: Melony attached an image

(Art drawn by me (SUNS64))

SMG4: I love it!

SMG3: wvcbqbchqipjdpijdiqjdhcbbcwhbckqbbcbqkcbqwbcwqbckqbclqwhipjcpoceoenwieiilumhgfrertklony
SMG3: /POS

Tari: Awwwwwwww
Tari: It's so CUTE

Meggy: Great job Melony!

Melony: Thanks!
Melony: But what does /POS mean?

SMG3: oh
SMG3: It's so u know I'm being positive
SMG3: and not spamming random letters in a angry way

Melony: Oh Ok!

Melony went offline

SMG2: Hey guys :)
SMG2: Almost forgot about this place after everything that just happened
SMG2: What have y'all been up to?

SMG3: dead meme stuff like usual
SMG3: and I caught up with the Anti-Cast

Tari: I've been trying to get my UJM WR back from Belle!
Tari: SMG3, can you tell her that I hate her btw

SMG3: wow, are we sure Tari didnt get hacked?

Meggy: She has not left her apartment at all due to that WR
Meggy: really taking that gaming stuff seriously
Meggy: Anyways, I've been finalizing my plans to be a Sports Coach!

FM: Jeez, took you long enough

Meggy: I'm sorry FM, what have YOU accomplished recently?

FM: 1. I banged ur mother

SMG3: told u he would actually do it

Meggy: I literally could not care tho

FM: 2. I survived Inkopolis when u said i couldn't
FM: plus i took one of those fish things as a pet

Meggy: wha
Meggy: You mean a Salmonid?

FM: yeah pretty sure thats what their called

Meggy: FM
Meggy: wtf
Meggy: Those things are NOT pets

SMG3: lmao

FM: oops?
FM: whats the worst that can happen

Meggy: FM, those things can grow to be two to three maybe even four times your size
Meggy: They require crazy amounts of food that you probably can only find in Inkopolis
Meggy: AND they're meant to grow up with their own spieces, and most definitely not a human

FM: Ok but it's so cute
FM: and I've already got a name for it
FM: you know what they say about coming up with a name for a pet

Meggy: No I don't

SMG4: There's a thing about that?

FM: well
FM: Whatever, the point is, I take this as a challenge
FM: And I'm going to beat it

Tari: What did you name it?

FM: It's small, so I'm naming it "Smallfry"

Meggy: Omg FM
Meggy: I'm pretty sure that is LITERALLY the name of the sub-spieces you have

FM: idc
FM: Its name is Smallfry, and there is nothing u can do about it

Meggy: This is so stupid

SMG4: Well, I think that if FM thinks he's up to the task, he should be allowed to raise it

Meggy: The issue is the fact that they aren't allowed to be raised by anything other than its own
Meggy: Who knows? The police could come after you!

FM: Meggy, I AM the police

Meggy: UGH
Meggy: Not the point

SMG3: in MY opinion (the correct one)
SMG3: this is the funniest shit ever and I would love to see FM try

FM: oh i certainly am going to try

Tari: How small is it?

FM: eh
FM: I would say a bit smaller than ur average duck

Tari: KEEP IT

Meggy: Ok so I can't convince ANYONE this is a bad idea?

SMG2: Is it dangerous?

Meggy: Very Likely

SMG2: Oh
SMG2: I don't like that

Meggy: Thank you

SMG2: But uh
SMG2: What have you been doing, SMG4?

SMG4: ._.
SMG4: Uhhhhhhhh
SMG4: haha funni meme?
SMG4: I uhhh Me & Mario screwed a lightbulb recently?

SMG2: Safe to say you've been doing nothing interesting?

SMG4: Yeah

FM: jnxjnjnxnxknwknxlxnocjowjcjcocjoci

SMG3: /POS or nah?

FM: NO

SMG3: lol

FM: @Meggy
FM: WHAT DO I DO IF SMALLFRY IS EAT COUCH???

SMG4: is eat couch lmao

SMG3: is eat couch

SMG2: is eat couch

SMG1: is eat couch

SMG1 went offline

SMG3: 💀

Meggy: So, FM.

FM: MEGGY IT IS CURRENTLY DEMOLOSHING MY CUSHIONS
FM: WHAT DOES IT EAT

Meggy: Hmmm, give me a minute to think.

FM: MEGGY SPLETZER, I, FIGHTINGMARIO54321, CHIEF OF MUSHROOM KINGDOM POLICE, DEMAND YOU HELP ME THIS INSTANCE

Meggy: Hmmmmmmmm, perhaps...
Meggy: If memory serves me right, salmonids can eat most seafood meat.

FM: DOES BLOOPERLING FIT THAT???

Meggy: First of all, turn caps lock off buddy
Meggy: Secondly, yes?? It's a sea creature that has meat?

SMG3: this is the best thing I've ever witnessed

FM: ok
FM: it's all good now

Meggy: sooooooooooo
Meggy: How has raising a SmallFry been going for ya FM?

FM: wonderful!
FM: if u think this is going to make me give up
FM: ur dead wrong

Meggy: We'll see ;)

Meggy went offline

Mario: Well FM, you've got a SMALL problem to FRY

SMG4: Why was ur only line a cringy title drop?

SMG3: *Insert Camera zooming in on Mario, the whole screen black, besides a circle shaped area around his face, the area closes as Mario does a dopey wink*
SMG3 *Along with some random ending beat that every sitcom has*

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

FM: SmallFry update!!!
FM: Him and Cube are getting along

SMG3: wow
SMG3: actually kinda surprised

SMG4: Yeah, considering Cube is a penguin and all

FM: are u accusing Cube of being racist?

Meggy: Technically it would be called being speciesist

Mario: Actually
Mario: Being speciesist would be believing in speciesism (duh).
Mario: And speciesism is the HUMAN held belief that HUMANS are superior to other species.
Mario: So technically no, it is not being speciesist.
Mario: In fact, it is a simple observation of the natural food chain, Penguins are known to consume Fish, a category that Salmonids happen to fall into.
Mario: SMG4 pointed out that it was surprising that Cube, an Emperor Penguin, didn't want to eat FM's Smallfry,
Mario: and he is correct, that is surprising, at least in my personal opinion.
Mario: Though, this could easily be explained by Cube's seemingly higher intelligence compared to others of his species.

SMG3: Ok buddy, calm down, deep breaths

Mario went offline

FM: wtf dude

Meggy: He could have just stopped at the second sentence

SMG3: Sorry about that, he likes to go on smart rants to prove people wrong, the guy was probably genuinely angry right there
SMG3: Happens randomly

Meggy: Oh wait is this part of that other personality he has?

SMG4: yeah
SMG4: whenever we're hanging out he always has a few moments where he's smart af

SMG3: and he gets pretty heated during a debate, even if it's one-sided
SMG3: So I, with my professional therapist skills, help Mario calm down

FM: that is kinda funny to imagine
FM: Mario getting angry at something stupid as hell

SMG4: I will admit
SMG4: it can be hilarious to watch Mario get mad at the smallest things

Mario: Sup guys i'm back

Meggy: Oh, hey Mario
Meggy: Should I apologies or something, I was a bit rude.

Mario: pingas

FM: there's the Mario I know

Meggy: So FM, is there anything else in that SmallFry update?

FM: Aside from the fact he won't stop trying to eat my couch
FM: no

SMG4: is eat couch?

SMG3: is eat couch.

FM: anyways
FM: who wants to see a picture of Cube rn
FM: I'm outside with him

Meggy: Sure

SMG4: take a funni pic with him

SMG3: omg do the stupid Wojak meme

FM: lol
FM: FM attached an image

(Art done by Me! (SUNS64))

SMG3: lmao

Meggy: Is SmallFry back at your house?

FM: yea
FM: he's in a fish tank lol
FM: i let him out to roam about sometimes

Meggy: Is he happy with it?

FM: pretty sure he is

Meggy: Just wanted to make sure

SMG4: How do u feel about the new body btw?

FM: after some thought
FM: im glad i lost the mustache
FM: much less to deal with

SMG3: traitor
SMG3: we were supposed to be MARIO recolors
SMG3: our mustaches were the key feature!

FM: the beard is better
FM: i look more like an actual police officer 😎

SMG3: I hate you

FM: i know

SMG4: What does X look like?
SMG4: Haven't seen him since the incident

Meggy: Why did you say that like it was some tragic event
Meggy: "The incident"

Mario: Because it was tragic 😔

FM: X actually looks a bit different
FM: he doesn't have his phone on him rn, but he's with me
FM: i'll get him to pose for a photo or smth
FM: gimme a sec
FM: FM attached an image

(Art by Me, again(SUNS64))

SMG3: bro
SMG3: mf really said
SMG3: 😵

FM: nah why u doing my man like that

Mario: Hell no
Mario: ALL of you keep the overalls, but ditch the stache?
Mario: Screw all of you!

Mario went offline

SMG3: I wanna beat him up so badly

SMG4: Go ahead, he's our avatar
SMG4: He can only die to someone like Zero

FM: can i join?

SMG3: hell yeah

Meggy: Y'know what?
Meegy: Mind if I get in on this?

SMG3: fuck yeah
SMG3: I knew I liked ur style

SMG4: He's at the Castle rn btw

SMG3: alright lets go

SMG3 went offline

FM: this gonna be fun

SMG4: You're a police officer abusing your role of authority, how do you feel?

FM: absolutely awsome!

Meggy: Wohoo! We LOVE doing illegal stuff!

FM and Meggy went offline

Saiko: just woke up
Saiko: whats up?

SMG4: Mario is getting the shit beat out of him

Saiko: whats new?

SMG4: is eat couch

Saiko: what the fuck?

SMG4: is eat couch

Saiko: im shouldve never woke up today

Saiko went offline

Absolute Chaos

MemeMachine: @Everyone
MemeMachine: is eat couch

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

FM: SmallFry Update!!!
FM: It is NOT eating my couch
FM: it is currently eating a chew toy I bought instead

SMG3: ur taking this way more seriously than I thought u were gonna take it

FM: Of course i'm taking it seriously!
FM: this is a living being SMG3
FM: I'm not gonna treat it like trash

Meggy: Well
Meggy: That's a step up from what the people in Inkopolis treat them like

FM: This little guy is going to get treated like a KING!

SMG3: uh
SMG3: sure

FM: are u doubting me?

Meggy: Yes

FM: wow
FM: rude

SMG3: yea thats kinda her thing

Meggy: Ok but THAT is rude

SMG3: whatever
SMG3: i got some business to do

Meggy: Yeah?
Meggy: Like what?

SMG3: Exposing an abusive company to an oblivious friend.

SMG3 went offline

Meggy: what

FM: wtf?

Meggy: Do you know what he's talking about??

FM: oh wait
FM: Tascorp is the only one I can think of rn
FM: and that anyone he would consider a "friend" could be involved with

Meggy: No idea what that company is.

FM: gaming company
FM: Belle is on their main esports team I think

Meggy: Ah
Meggy: So they're abusive?

FM: Rumors
FM: and some solid evidence
FM: actually its something me and the police bois are investigating recently

Meggy: Well, Can't believe I'm saying this, but I hope SMG3 manages to succeed.

FM: lmao

DMs SMG3 -> Weegee Doll

SMG3: yo

Weegee Doll: What's up?

SMG3: the sky
SMG3: ok srs for a moment tho

Weegee Doll: Oh Ok

SMG3: We NEED to tell Belle about the Tascorp crap and shit

Weegee Doll: Right

SMG3: but idk how

Weegee Doll: I mean
Weegee Doll: Should we just tell her straight up?

SMG3: "Hey, so the job you've been doing? Guess what? It supports physical abuse in the workspace!"

Weegee Doll: What do you want to do, then?

SMG3: literally just said idk

Weegee Doll: Ugh
Weegee Doll: Maybe I should just tell her in person?

SMG3: That might make it easier or worse
SMG3: Do u even know where she lives?

Weegee Doll: I live in her apartment

SMG3: wait rrly?

Weegee Doll: I'm a doll, what was I gonna do? Buy a house?
Weegee Doll: She offered to take me after the whole
Weegee Doll: I don't remember what you call it

SMG3: WOTFI 2020?

Weegee Doll: Yeah, that.
Weegee Doll: Well, she is going come home in about 30 minutes from now
Weegee Doll: So I guess I'll tell her about it in person.

SMG3: Cool, saves me some struggle

Absolute Chaos

Therapist: I've got time to kill
Therapist: What's up with u guys here

MemeMachine: You know me
MemeMachine: Just a guy being a dude

Therapist: Just a dude being a guy

SpaghettiMan: A couple of dudes being gay?

MemeMachine: Totally

IHave8Children: Anyways, My cooking show has been doing pretty well!

Therapist: Glad that turned out good for you, Bowser!

SpaghettiMan: Yo, can I be a guest cook?

IHave8Children: Sure, why not
IHave8Children: It'll be just like old times

MemeMachine: That won't turn out to be a disaster

SpaghettiMan: Trust me SMG4, we won't screw up this time

Therapist: Uh, Mario
Therapist: There are going to be cameras recording you

SpaghettiMan: I think I can handle it

Therapist: Well, im not going to try and stop you lol

Oi Lady: So
Oi Lady: I was just informed that the company I work for physically abuses employees...

Therapist: Ok cool Weegee did tell you

Oi Lady: I don't know what to do

MemeMachine: Wow thats bad

Oi Lady: If I quit, I'll have no job

SpaghettiMan: wait
SpaghettiMan: wtf does Tari do for a living

Oi Lady: Well, she isn't on a team as far as I know, neither does she stream
Oi Lady: huh
Oi Lady: what DOES she do?

SpaghettiMan: Belle, I'll talk to Peach about financially supporting you rn
SpaghettiMan: So u can quit.
SpaghettiMan: FM and his team have already been doing investiagtions, but I'd recommend going to the station and talking to him about ur experience at Tascorp.

Oi Lady: Thanks, I'll definitely do that

MemeMachine: Wow
MemeMachine: Mario being nice AND smart?

Therapist: Guess my therapy has been working
Therapist: Maybe he is ready to be in front of a camera

SpaghettiMan: pingas

MemeMachine: nvm

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG4: Where tf is 3?

Mario: awww, miss ur bf?

SMG4: uh
SMG4: yeah maybe

Saiko: Don't you guys hang out all the time

SMG4: yeah

Saiko: And you still miss him right now?

SMG4: yeah

Saiko: Ok, simp

Bob: dude cant u just @ him tho?

SMG4: already DM'd him
SMG4: no response
SMG4: got 1 to take to the IG and 3 wasn't there

Mario: huh
Mario: is this the time to say "uh oh?"

SMG4: maybe

Bob: lol totally

Saiko: Y'all are freaking out over this for nothing

Mario: @EVERYONE WHERE TF IS SMG3???

SMG4: dude wtf

Saiko: Why would anyone else here know?

Melony: Oh!
Melony: Me and Three are at the Mushroom City Mall's Starbucks!

Mario: see, Saiko?

Saiko: stfu

Saiko went offline

Mario: rage quiter

SMG4: You two are hanging out, Melony?

Melony: Yep!
Melony: He just realized he left his phone at home... >_<

SMG4: ah
SMG4: Tell him he made me worried!

Melony: Ok!
Melony: He told me to tell you to "Fuck Off".

SMG4: uhhhhhh

Mario: lol

Melony: I know it's a BAD word!
Melony: But what does it mean?

Mario: Melony.
Mario: Let Mario tell you something, ok?

Melony: Ok?

Mario: You DON'T need to know.
Mario: Got it?

Melony: oh
Melony: Ok!

SMG4: Tell 3 that his message has been recieved.

Melony: Alright!
Melony: We're going to go shopping! Bye!

Melony went offline

SMG4: Axol is probably so disapointed in us and our language around Melony

Mario: wow SMG4

SMG4: ok maybe that was disrespectful

Mario: oh, no I was saying "wow" at the fact that you said "probably"
Mario: cuz he is TOTALLY disappointed in us all

SMG4: wow Mario

Mario: OK Yeah maybe a little disrespectful, my bad

(Some time later)

The Glitchy Crew

SMG1: @SMG4 @SMG3
SMG1: Where are you guys?

SMG4: Home
SMG4: why?

SMG1: We planned to do some training today, at this time.

SMG4: OOOOOOH
SMG4: shit
SMG4: 3 is busy at the mall also

SMG1: Oh
SMG1: My
SMG1: God

Mario: u believe in a god?

SMG1: It's a saying, Mario.

Mario: It's a joke, SMG1.

SMG2: So are we training or not?

SMG4: I'm meme making rn
SMG4: that counts, right?

SMG1: NO!
SMG1: We are training our Meme Power abilities.
SMG1: NOT Meme Making abilities.

SMG4: Ugh fine
SMG4: We have to go pick up Three tho

SMG1: Alright
SMG1: What Mall is he at?

SMG4: Mushroom Mall
SMG4: With Melony

SMG2: Really?
SMG2: They don't seem like the 2 to hang out with each other.

SMG4: yea their chill with each other

Mario: *They're

SMG4: Mario
SMG4: Does it look like I care?

Mario: Yes

SMG4: No, no I do not care one bit, Mario

SMG1: I despise you and 3, You know that?

SMG4: Huh what happened

SMG1: I go to pick up 3, ok?
SMG1: But he's at a Mall, where you purchase stuff, yes?

Mario: no shit

SMG1: I tell him we need to go, he says that he need to get to checkout.
SMG1: So I, reasonably, reccomend giving his items to Melony and have her checkout.
SMG1: The funny part? She doesn't have any money on her, and 3 isn't going to hand over his Credit Card and risk her losing it.
SMG1: So I'm like, "Ok well, how far is the checkout?"
SMG1: "Oh, It's only on the other side of the Mall"

SMG4: oof

Mario: lmao

SMG1: Today's training is cancled

SMG1 went offline

SMG2: Er, Cya guys later?

SMG4: yeah, sure

SMG2 went offline

(Even more time later)

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: Wassup BITCHES!!!

SMG4: Hey

SMG3: Why did it feel like you wrote that in a flirty way?

SMG4: Only of u want it to be

Mario: ew?

SMG4: Homophobic Mario?

Mario: If I was Homophobic, you would know.

SMG3: he's right

SMG4: So, what did u get from the mall?

SMG3: The new Super Smash Each Other In The Ass Bros. !!!

Mario: is... that it?

SMG4: First of all, Mario, the new SSEOITAB games are hard to get a hold of.
SMG4: Secondly, Mario is right, is that really it?

SMG3: the line for it was long af
SMG3: and the rest of the time at the mall was Melony looking at hoodies in the clothes section, just to not want any
SMG3: also Melony getting a crap ton of art supplies
SMG3: I'm broke now

Mario: weren't u broke already

SMG3: nah, I make YT vids in the Internet Graveyard and that makes me money
SMG3: plus I haven't rrly spent on anything until now
SMG3: Mel pushed me back to square one

SMG4: rip
SMG4: Anyways wanna play that new Smash Each Other In The Ass Bros.?

SMG3: Hell Yeah

Mario: Ayo lemmen hop in too

SMG4: I'm kicking y'alls asses

SMG3: Uh yeah, just don't invite Tari or Belle , they'll make it unfair

SMG3 went offline
SMG4 went offline
Mario went oflline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG4: sup guys

Mario: HOLY SHIT
Mario: HE'S OUT OF HIS CAVE

Bob: oh crap rrly?
Bob: lmao

SMG4: yep
SMG4: i live

Mario: Did you get some good sleep

SMG4: oh for sure
SMG4: what day is it?

Bob: can't u just check?
Bob: ur on ur phone dumbass

SMG4: first of all
SMG4: i'm on my computer
SMG4: second of all
SMG4: it's april 1st???
SMG4: how long was i out?

Mario: a bit

Bob: oh crap
Bob: it's april fools?

SMG4: cAn'T yOu jUSt CHecK???

Bob: man
Bob: stfu

SMG4: anyways
SMG4: it's april fools time bby

Mario: hell yeah

Meggy: Oh the insane dude woke up
Meggy: And he's doing an april fools prank
Meggy: Wonderful

SMG4: give the chat some time
SMG4: then, i'll strike

Luigi: Like an unseen dodgeball in an echoing gymnasium?

SMG4: gotta love my man Luigi coming in here with the most random shit

Luigi: Sorry, lines like that just refuse to leave my head.
Luigi: Not unlike SMG4 refusing to leave his room, trapping himself in insanity and despair.

SMG4: wha???

Mario: Get owned by my bro, four

SMG4: idk even know what that was???

Luigi: Sorry, sorry

Meggy: I feel like this is just an April fool day thing.

Luigi: Nope
Luigi: PTSD just does great things for me.
Luigi: Er, sarcasm, by the way.

Bob: we could tell

Meggy: You've got ptsd, Luigi?

Luigi: Kidnapped as a baby, Traumatized in three legitimately haunted mansions, Brainwashed to kill my brother, Been sent to the equivalent hell.
Luigi: The Light Prognosticus, aka the bible, defines me as the perfect vessel for a source of pure chaos and the decider of the fates of all worlds.
Luigi: So no, my dear friend Meggy, I don't have PTSD.

Meggy: Wow.
Meggy: How have we just never realized?

Luigi: I'm good at handling my situation.
Luigi: Having 243 jobs keeps me distracted +  gardening & meditation.
Luigi: One thing I hate though is explosions,
Luigi: I have 'died' a few times by some.
Luigi: Sinking the castle wasn't fun for me, for that reason.

Meggy: Oh Luigi...
Meggy: You should've told someone that...

Luigi: Well, it's in the past.

Mario: Go contact E.Gadd about his silly time machine or smth

Meggy: NO!?

Mario: Jeez girl, can't ya take a joke?

Meggy: No.

SMG4: sorry Meggy, I'll have to kick you from the chat.

Meggy: I know you're going to say 'April Fools'

SMG4: dammit

Mario: Damn four, couldn't even fool Meggy

Meggy: What are you implying, Red???

Mario: oops
Mario: gotta go, Zero is chasing me and I don't want us all to die

Meggy: ...

SMG4: what kinda excuse was that

Bob: a bad one lol

SMG4: @SMG3
SMG4: Can I talk to you?

Bob: shit he is capitalizing his words properly

SMG3: Yeah what's up four?

SMG4: I've been doing some thinking.
SMG4: I don't think we're meant to be.

SMG3: ...
SMG3: Sorry what

Meggy: That is

SMG3: I
SMG3: SMG4
SMG3: I respect you...
SMG3: But there is a feature called
SMG3: DMing me???

Bob: lmao

SMG4: three
SMG4: check the date

SMG3: ???
SMG3: April 2nd???

Bob: holy shit omg

SMG4: ...
SMG4: This is what having a boyfriend who lives in a dimension with a wonky ass time zone is like.

SMG3: I don't understand

Meggy: 3
Meggy: Wind back a day

SMG3: ?
SMG3: oh
SMG3: OH
SMG3: OH FUCK YOU

SMG4: lmao
SMG4: love u too

SMG3: no wtf
SMG3: I was actually trippin for a second

SMG4: I would NOT break up with u in a public chat

SMG3: All my reputation would be gone, reduced to atoms

Mario: Hey
Mario: I totally destroyed Zero
Mario: He's dead again

SMG3: context plz??

Meggy: Mario's totally realistic excuse to leave chat for a while

Mario: HEY!
Mario: Mario's excuse was good!

SMG4: uh huh...

SMG3: Well
SMG3: Now that I know it's April Fools for you guys
SMG3: I'm going to fuck with the anti cast

SMG4: have fun

SMG3: I'll try
SMG3: cya losers

SMG3 went offline

FM: Guys
FM: Today is terrible

SMG4: ok

Meggy:Becasue of...?

FM: my goofy small fry friend thought of a nice april fools joke

Mario: Wait stop
Mario: Let me guess

FM: dont
FM: even

Mario: is eat couch?

FM: kys

FM went offline

Melony: Why did FM tell Mario to 'Keep Yourself Safe'?

Meggy: Were you here the whole time Melony?

Melony: Yeah, why?

Mario: Melony, sweetie, FM told Mario to keep himself safe, because there is a high risk of dying when you attempt to eat a couch.

Melony: Oh no...
Melony: Ok! Make sure to kys, Mario!
Melony: Anyways, I'm going to chat with my other friends, cya!

Melony went offline

SMG4: ...

Meggy: Mario

Mario: uh oh
Mario: wow would u look at that
Mario: zero is back
Mario: thats so coo coo crazy
Mario: gotta go guys srry

Mario went offline

---

The Snitchy Chat

Graveyardigan: sup bitches I'm evil again and you guys are the first to die

Oi Lady: I'm not stupid

Hentai Addict: Even I know it's april fools dude

Graveyardigan: god damnit

DOLL: What is that?
DOLL: April Fools?

Graveyardigan: what

Oi Lady: You don't know what april fools day is

Hentai Addict: Imagine

DOLL: Sorry, I do not know what this "april fools day" thing is
DOLL: What does the first of april first have to do with being a fool?

Graveyardigan: Well
Graveyardigan: idk actually

DOLL: So what do people do on this day?
DOLL: I assume they make fools out of each other?

Oi Lady: Yeah pretty much sums it up
Oi Lady: Never been a huge fan of it

Graveyardigan: yeah it's kinda fallen off

Hentai Addict: did u use "fallen off" unironically

Graveyardigan: yes

Oi Lady: fair enough

Graveyardigan: anyways I hate SMG4 rn
Graveyardigan: his prank was to pretend to break up with me
Graveyardigan: :(

Hentai Addict: oof

DOLL: That sounds very rude

Oi Lady: The pranks are typically like that

DOLL: Interesting

Mel: Hello!

Graveyardigan: oh sup Mel

DOLL: I am curious, Melony
DOLL: Do you indulge in April Fools Day?

Mel: No.
Mel: I don't like tricking or embarassing my friends!
Mel: Like SMG4 did to Three.

Hentai Addict: I don't do much either

Graveyardigan: I think there is something you do indeed do today

Hentai Addict: Whaaaaat? Nooo way!

Mel: What do you do, Whimpu?

Oi Lady: He does nothing Melony.
Oi Lady: Besides lay around and wallow in sadness cuz he's lonely

Mel: Aw...
Mel: Wanna hang out then?
Mel: You could help build the new castle!

Oi Lady: oh?
Oi Lady: New castle?

DOLL: Is there a reason that a new castle is under construction?

Graveyardigan: uhhhhh
Graveyardigan: just
Graveyardigan: It got destroyed and we decided to move it ok?
Graveyardigan: no other secret reasons at all

DOLL: ...
DOLL: Really?

Mel: Well, there is this giant creepy mouth thing where Peach's Castle use to be...

DOLL: Ah

Oi Lady: tf
Oi Lady: I kinda wanna see that lol

Graveyardigan: no u don't
Graveyardigan: I was dangling for my life above it
Graveyardigan: u don't want to see it

Hentai Addict: Ok now I really want to see it tho

Oi Lady: holy shit

Hentai Addict: oh???

Oi Lady: Dude you can just look it up on the news
Oi Lady: That thing is huge wtf

Hentai Addict: thats what she said

DOLL: Absolutely no one has said that to you.

Hentai Addict: bruh
Hentai Addict: alright im lookin that shit up rn

Graveyardigan: have fun

Hentai Addict: wow
Hentai Addict: that is
Hentai: what tf even caused that

Graveyardigan: my bf

DOLL: Pray tell, how did SMG4 cause such a thing?

Mel: From what I was told, he was possesed...

Graveyardigan: kinda idk
Graveyardigan: anways we had to sink the castle and can't rebuild it

DOLL: So you are all building a new one?

Mel: Yep!
Mel: It'll be so fun!

Oi Lady: Yeah?
Oi Lady: Well I'm a gamer, physical activity isn't really for me

DOLL: Wish I could help.
DOLL: But uh...

Graveyardigan: yeah
Graveyardigan: speaking of, Im going to go check the progress

Mel: I'll join you!

Graveyardigan: sure Mel

Oi Lady: Have fun or something
Oi Lady: I'm just gonna play UJM

DOLL: I will be reading.

Hentai Addict: no one asked?

DOLL: Yes, and no one wants to ask what YOU will be doing.

Graveyardigan: yeah imma leave before I witness someone die

Graveyardigan went offline

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: @SMG4 yo
SMG3: Belle asked when tf her and the anti cast get to show up again

SMG4: huh
SMG4: oh well uh
SMG4: idk
SMG4: definitely not anytime soon lol

Tari: Aw, I really wanted another gamer in the group

Mario: gamers are cringe anways

Tari: Mario!

SMG4: sorry Tari
SMG4: but the cast is a bit full rn

SMG3: wanna talk about how we can free up some space?
SMG3: Kaizo
SMG3: anyways imma go inform the Oi Lady of her devestating news

SMG3 went offline

SMG4: uh

Mario: wow

SMG1: Sorry, who is this Kaizo person?
SMG1: Don't know if I've met him

SMG4: huh
SMG4: he really does rarely show up, doesn't he

SMG1: Insignificant then?

Saiko: Rude

SMG1: Ah
SMG1: I apologize

SMG4: should we invite him to the chat finally?
SMG4: does he know it even exists?

Saiko: He knows
Saiko: He just doesn't give a shit

SMG4: ok so a no, on the invitation then?

---

The Snitchy Chat

Graveyardigan: he said "not anytime soon lol"

Oi Lady: Ok wow.

DOLL: That is an interesting response on his part.

Oi Lady: Can I get a reason??

Graveyardigan: ah well you see
Graveyardigan: we are most DEFINITELY NOT on a vacation rn

Oi Lady: What

Graveyardigan: like I said, NOT on vacay

Mel: Um? Yes we are!
Mel: We're heading to the Wild West!

Graveyardigan: ur too sweet for ur own good, Mel

Oi Lady: I can't believe this

DOLL: Well, personally, I can.

Oi Lady: Yeah? Well, I don't give a shit about what you personally think

DOLL: If I may ask, are you there yet?

Graveyardigan: on the train rn

Oi Lady: Are you getting cuddly with your bf?

Graveyardigan: I wish
Graveyardigan: They asigned us on this stupid ass seating chart

Oi Lady: Lol get fucked

DOLL: Who are you seated next to?

Graveyardigan: Luigi
Graveyardigan: Not the worst, not the best

Mell: I gotta go
Mel: Make sure to kys guys!

Mel went offline

Oi Lady: I
Oi Lady: WHAT THE???

Graveyardigan: It was Mario

Oi Lady: Oh ok no yeah that make total sense

DOLL: When should be inform her of the truth?

Oi Lady: Pfff idk

Graveyardigan: dw I'll handle that at some point

---

SMG4: can we talk about this terrible seating arrangment

Saiko: You're saying that because you're not next to your dumb boyfriend

SMG4: yeah? so what
SMG4: I can't even see him from where i'm at
SMG4: what's he doin?

Saiko: I don't know
Saiko: Can't see him either

Mario: he's on his phone lol
Mario: probably still talking with the anti cast
Mario: and Luigi is
Mario: meditating
Mario: as expected

SMG4: boring
SMG4: can't we get some crazy train action or something

Meggy: We'll get plenty of action once we get there!
Meggy: Trust me four.

SMG4: oh sup

Mario: so why are we going here again

Meggy: So that I can meet One Shot Wren!

SMG4: that's it?
SMG4: so u could meet some dude
SMG4: dang we rrly should've gone to pee pee island

Meggy: SMG4, that's not just it!
Meggy: Meeting One Shot Wren will help Tari!

Tari: Then I'll become a brave, just like Meggy!

SMG4: zzzzzzzz

Meggy: SMG4!

Tari: SMG4!

SMG4: what??

SMG3: I'm back bitches
SMG3: Mel let slip that we are on vacation

SMG4: ah

SMG3: Anyways
SMG3: I'm having second thoughts on pp island

SMG4: Oh?

SMG3: I mean
SMG3: The west will be hot as crap

SMG4: see!
SMG4: now ur getting me

SMG3: Yo Megs

Meggy: Don't call me that
Meggy: That's weird

SMG3: Ok Megs
SMG3: How did you find out about where tf Wren was???

Meggy: I'm going to
Meggy: whatever
Meggy: So, when I was in One Shot Wren's abandoned house, I found this old looking TV
Meggy: It showed static, but then suddenly it played a comercial for the Town of Western Spaghetti!

Mario: someone say spaghetti???

Meggy: Uh, I'm sure there'll be spaghetti, Red.

Mario: OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

Meggy: So yeah, an old TV told me.

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Meggy: ...
Meggy: so

SMG4: I'm telling you
SMG4: That wouldn't have happened if we went to pee pee island!!

SMG3: so true!

Meggy: not the point.

SMG3: then wtf is ur point

Meggy: That this is my fault?
Meggy: I forced everyone to come with me to the wild west.
Meggy: If I hadn't done that this all would've turned out fine.

SMG4: Hey, Meggy
SMG4: Look at us
SMG4: We're all alive, and we made it home safe

Meggy: Not without being traumatized

SMG3: idk the whole thing is kinda a blur to me

Meggy: Well
Meggy: I remember it all
Meggy: It felt like a month in there

SMG4: oh

SMG3: wh
SMG3: like
SMG3: a whole ass 30 days??

Meggy: Give or take

SMG3: damn

SMG4: And you're the only one who remembers it

Meggy: Tari does as well

Mario: I think I remember some of it
Mario: It's fuzzy tho

SMG3: what do u remember?
SMG3: humping spaghetti??

Mario: Meggy gettig shot
Mario: and bleeding out

SMG3: this is what I get for trying to be funny...

Meggy: It's fine three!
Meggy: I'm all good now

SMG4: It's just
SMG4: What could be more traumatizing than being shot by ur idol
SMG4: at least I ASSUME it was One Shot Wren who shot you

Meggy: haha
Meggy: Being shot by him wasn't the most traumatizing

SMG3: i am genuinely kinda scared to know what was

Meggy: Okay well
Meggy: You know how it was a simulation?

SMG4: Yeah

SMG3: sure

Mario: 👍

Meggy: Desti

SMG4: OH

SMG3: .

Meggy: That's all I'm saying
Meggy: Not my favorite topic

SMG3: I 110% understand that

SMG4: Yeah, get that

Meggy: So yeah, this was a bust of a vacation

Mario: Speaking of that, wasn't the anti cast there?
Mario: They didn't come with us

Meggy: Huh
Meggy: You're right

SMG3: maybe I could ask them?

SMG4: They might not remember much, but it could be worth a try

SMG3: I'll go ask them

---

Direct Messages

Meggy -> SMG3

Meggy: Hey before you talk to the Anti Cast
Meggy: Can I talk to you?

SMG3: uh
SMG3: Yeah sure

Meggy: You're the only person I really trust to tell this to.

SMG3: Oh wow

Meggy: heh
Meggy: Not for a good reason.
Meggy: You've had someone close die to you.

SMG3: right
SMG3: Why not talk to Melony?

Meggy: Because Desti wasn't the only person I saw.
Meggy: I also saw Axol.

SMG3: I see
SMG3: You don't want to tell Melony

Meggy: It'd do more harm than good, I think.

SMG3: And why tell me this?

Meggy: I just
Meggy: I think
Meggy: I think I just really need to tell SOMEONE
Meggy: Get it out there
Meggy: I just can't be the only one
Meggy: the only one carrying this
Meggy:please smg3
Meggy: You understand

SMG3: Yo it's all chill Megs

Meggy: pff
Meggy: I told you not to call me that

SMG3: yeah
SMG3: that's my bad then
SMG3: sorry Megs

Meggy: I
Meggy: Heh
Meggy: You know what?
Meggy: It's fine.

SMG3: um hey
SMG3: I know u said u told me cuz of Terrance
SMG3: Why not Mario
SMG3: Or 1 & 2

Meggy: Listen
Meggy: No matter how much you may try to hide it or deny it.
Meggy: I know you really care for Melony.

SMG3: well
SMG3: yeah
SMG3: I guess i do really care for her

Meggy: Make sure she's happy, yeah?

SMG3: will do
SMG3: Megs

Meggy: Ok get out of here

---

The Snitchy Chat

Graveyardigan: hey you guys all make it home safe?

Oi Belle: for the most part

Hentai Addict: Yeah
Hentai Addict: Just a little disorientated

C O R N: 🌽👍

DOLL: What is this about?
DOLL: Hold on.
DOLL: Does this have something to do with the fact that I watched Belle get kidnapped right in front of me?

Graveyardigan: ...

Oi Lady: Uh
Oi Lady: I think so

Graveyardigan: you got kidnapped???

Oi Lady: I think???
Oi Lady: I don't really remember that well

DOLL: Yes she did.
DOLL: Some inkling broke in and used some form of gas to knock her out.
DOLL: I assume the same happened to the rest of you?

Hentai Addict: Pretty sure?

Graveyardigan: wait weegee how did u not get captured???

DOLL: I am a doll.
DOLL: He just didn't notice me.

Oi Lady: Yes, very nice of you to not stop the guy

DOLL: I was going to admit, I do feel guilty about that.

Graveyardigan: it's fine
Graveyardigan: we're all safe now

Oi Lady: True that

Graveyardigan: so do any of you remember anything?

Oi Lady: Nope!

C O R N: 🥔

Graveyardigan: uh?
Graveyardigan: sure

Henat Addict: I don't really remember much

DOLL: Can I get an explanation?

Graveyardigan: we got put in a simulation

DOLL: Interesting...

Graveyardigan: what about Shroomy?

Oi Lady: He's uh
Oi Lady: Not in this chat

Graveyardigan: wait wat

Graveyardigan added Shroomy

Graveyardigan: Shroomy i am so sorry

Shroomy: Oh golly
Sroomy: Did I finally get added to that "chatroom" I've been hearin' about?

Graveyardigan: well this one is for the
Graveyardigan: the group back during the yt shit back during 2020

Shroomy: Oh how nice!

Graveyardigan: Yeah
Graveyardigan: The chat has been around for a while but
Graveyardigan: we uh. forgot about you

Shroomy: Don't worry bout it!

---

The Glitchy Crew

SMG4: So, anything else maybe not so traumatizing of note?

Meggy: Well
Meggy: I remember seeing another old TV.
Meggy: It showed this strange logo on it.

SMG4: dbiubdhwbhwddw
SMG4: AGAIN WITH THIS STUPID TV

Meggy: You uh
Meggy: You good dude?

SMG4: No
SMG4: It was that stupid tv that gave me the keyboard
SMG4: Was it them that gave Wren the digital world?
SMG4: ugh

Mario: You do you with your conspiracy theories bro

Meggy: Mario!

Mario: What??

Meggy: This is serious.

Mario: oh
Mario: Sorry

SMG4: Look
SMG4: It's fine dude
SMG4: Just, be wary of TVs or smthing

Mario: lol

SMG3: yoyo Im back wassup
SMG3: added shroomy boi to the anti chat

SMG4: Oh!
SMG4: yeah that's good

SMG3: kinda forgor about him ngl

Melony: Good Morning!

Meggy: Wow
Meggy: I got zero hours of sleep.
Meggy: Big shocker

Melony: Uh Oh!
Melony: That's not good...

SMG3: well uh-
SMG3: It just hit nightime for me so
SMG3: guess I'll snooze

Melony: Have a goodnight Three!

SMG3: I'll try
SMG3: and uh
SMG3: Have a good day, Mel.

Melony: I will!

Chapter Text

The Glicthy Crew

Melony: Hey guys!!!

Meggy: Hi Melony!

SMG4: yoooo wassup

SMG3: heya Mel

Saiko: what's up.

SMG3: holy shit Saiko
SMG3: are you gonna stay for more than 3 seconds today??

Saiko: fuck you
Saiko: also maybe
Saiko: depends wtf happens

SMG4: Can't handle our epicness?

Saiko: no

SMG4: Wow ok
SMG4: Kinda rude ngl

Saiko: can't handle me?

SMG4: Ok screw you

Meggy: @Melony
Meggy: Did you just wanna say hi?

Melony: Ya!
Melony: I just wanted to say hey to my frens!!

SMG3: well then
SMG3: hey

SMG4: Hey

Saiko: lol
Saiko: hey

Tari: Hey!!!

Meggy: Tari!
Meggy: You're finally back!

Tari: Haha
Tari: Sorry, I was just taking my time...
Tari: Just went through a lot

Meggy: That's fine!

Tari: So what's been happening while I was out?

SMG4: Castle is almost built!!!

SMG3: poggies

Saiko: -_-
Saiko: you didn't just use "poggies" unironically

SMG3: so what if i did??
SMG3: also my streamer name is literally "PoggieKing3" so stfu
SMG3: i'm allowed to say poggies

Saiko: kys

SMG3: thanks for telling me to keep myself safe :)

Saiko: wha
Saiko: ok idc

Tari: I'm excited for the castle to finally be done!

SMG4: Yeah
SMG4: Took long enough

FM: YOYOYOYO
FM: WHAT'S UP IT'S FM IN DA HOUSE

Saiko: dude wtf shut up
Saiko: and turn caps lock off

FM: srry
FM: had to emphasis my grand return

Meggy: You left?

FM: ...
FM: anyways i've been hearing about this whole simulation thing??
FM: imma need a report on that shit

Meggy: Ah.
Meggy: I'm assuming for the police?

FM: ye

SMG4: It's a long story
SMG4: Have Meggy tell you later or smth

FM: alright
FM: i didn't rrly wanna know rn anyways lol

SMG3: haha you don't care about your job ur so quirky FM

FM: teehee 👉👈

Meggy: Hey FM?

FM: what's up Megster

SMG3: djd3kbd3bd3bd3 omg Megster

SMG4: Three was that keyboard smash /pos or /neg?

SMG3: uhhhhhhh idk
SMG3: /pos ?

Meggy: FM that nickname is worse than than SMG3's

FM: oh?
FM: what's his??

SMG3: Megs

FM: lol
FM: anyways
FM: what did u want Megs?

Meggy: sigh

FM: u didn't just type "sigh" wtf
FM: girl this ain't no RP chat

Meggy: xjbkbug3dgd3gud3guid3gui

SMG4: Meggy was that keyboard smash /pos or /neg??

Meggy: IT WAS SO FUCKING /NEG!!!

SMG3: WOAH MEGGY
SMG3: With Melony in the chat??

Melony: It's fine Three!
Melony: I'm used to this by now.

Meggy: Sorry.
Meggy: FM is just REALLY getting on my nerves...

FM: it's what i do.
FM: ok what did you want. /srs

Meggy: "YoU DiDn'T JUst UsE a TOnE IndIcATor wTf"

FM: ok yeah that's kinda annoying

Meggy: Uh huh.
Meggy: Anyways, FM.
Meggy: I was curious if there was a Small Fry update.

FM: OH!
FM: yes!
FM: SmallFry Update time!!

SMG3: is eat couch?

FM: NO
FM: it is not eating my couch

SMG4: So what else could possibly be happening?

FM: it's growing!
FM: big boi
FM: well
FM: not BIG boi but

Meggy: Omg
Meggy: FM that thing is only going to get bigger from here.

FM: and i'm ready >:)

X: FM

FM: oh sup X

X: GET YO ASS OVER HERE RN
X: UR STUPID FKIN FISH IS EATING THE COUCH AGAIN

FM: dljbjd3kjceicehucegyud327cegiucegvcbcoeokedghvechgedcfcfejici[ceygwsdrebndeihatevhjdeehideljjkbdkbbhdebejjkmiogniotdrinpkepsi

SMG4: FM was that keyboard smsh /pos or /neg???

FM: GOD
FM: DAMMIT
FM: ALSO X SMALLFRY IS NOT A STUPID FISH

X: IDC ITS GOBBLING UP UR DANG PILLOWS RN

FM: FUCK I JUST BOUGHT THOSE

FM went offline

Tari: Wow.

Meggy: He won't be able to handle that thing.

SMG3: idk
SMG3: I think you're underestimating FM

Meggy: Idk.
Meggy: I think your underestimating a Salmonid.

Mario: *you're

SMG3: damn Megs
SMG3: It's like 11 pm for me
SMG3: and I'm still able to spell better than you

Meggy: hudud3ui3duhd3hudh3odiebkjbhhdb
Meggy: SMG4 don't you DARE.

SMG4: :'<

SMG3: aw
SMG3: it's ok babe u can ask me if my keyboard smash was pos or neg

SMG4: :>

SMG3: dihjkbewjbebjebjbjed

SMG4: SMG3 was that keyboard smash /pos or /neg????

SMG3: /pos ;)
SMG3: anyways imma go stream now cy'all

SMG3 went offline

Saiko: did he just combine "cya" and "y'all"
Saiko: ???

SMG4: sigh
SMG4: Isn't he such an innovator?

Meggy: Ok so SMG4 is allowed to type "sigh"???

Mario: See, when he did it, it was funni
Mario: You typed it because you genuinely sighed.
Mario: SMG4 did it sarcastically.

Meggy: You know what.
Meggy: Sure.

Melony: Did Three just say he was going to stream?

Meggy: Uh, yeah?

Melony: He also said it was 11:00 PM for him...
Melony: That's not good!
Melony: He isn't getting any sleep...

SMG4: Don't worry
SMG4: SMG1 told me that he forces Three to get sleep

Melony: Still!
Melony: He should be getting good sleep everyday!
Melony: >:{

Mario: I don't think many of us are getting good sleep...

Tari: Definitely not right now.

Saiko: idk i get decent sleep

SMG4: Well you're boring

Saiko: man stfu

Melony: Well!
Melony: That's what everyone should work on!
Melony: Getting better sleep!

SMG4: Idk Melony
SMG4: That'll be a real challenge

Meggy: Don't worry Four!|
Meggy: I'll help coach you through!

SMG4: 💀

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Mario: Hey guys

SMG4: Wassup

Tari: Hiya Mario!

SMG3: Mario u don't typically start talking with something like
SMG3: 'hey guys'
SMG3: something up?

Mario: Uh yeah actually

SMG4: Oh?

Tari: Is it bad...?

Mario: Idk
Mario: It's strange

SMG4: Just tell us

Mario: It's about Luigi
Mario: He's been doing nothing but meditate for like
Mario: The past two days??
Mario: Straight

SMG3: actually, pretty sure he's like bi

SMG4: Three

SMG3: lolol

Mario: Sexuality jokes aside
Mario: I'm really worried...

Tari: Well of course you are!
Tari: He's your brother, you're right to be worried about him.

SMG3: wait ok so
SMG3: Luigi's been doing NOTHING but meditate
SMG3: has he eaten shit?

Mario: 3
Mario: When I say straight
Mario: I mean two days ago, he sat down in the middle of the room on a pillow with candles
Mario: Started to meditate
Mario: And has not opened his eyes since
Mario: The only movement is him breathing

SMG3: oh damn wtf??

SMG4: Do you remember Luigi saying anything about something like this before he did it?

Mario: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

SMG4: Ok clearly thinking hard here

Mario: I remember him leaving to go somewhere...?
Mario: Idk tho
Mario: I thought he was just going to run his flower store

SMG1: I think I may have the answer you're looking for.

SMG2: *We

SMG1: I think we may have the answer you're looking for.

SMG4: Hey One! Hey Two!

SMG2: 👋

Tari: You guys know what's up with Luigi?

SMG1: Maybe.
SMG1: A few days ago, when me and Two were on our way to our classroom at Omnia Academy, we saw Luigi.

SMG3: crap I forgor that u guys teach there

SMG2: Right, well Luigi was at the academy
SMG2: We don't know what it was for though

SMG1: My previous theory was that the meditation club had a meeting.
SMG1: But now that I know Luigi has been meditating for two days,
SMG1: It is possible that the meditation club is doing...
SMG1: something.

Tari: Something big...?

SMG2: Maybe!

Mario: I'm going over to that dang school and figuring out wtf they did to my bro

SMG1: While I support the idea, and the enthusiasm, you need a pass to enter the academy.

Mario: Oh right...
Mario: @MEGYY

Meggy: what is it red??
Meggy: i'm with a student rn!!!

Mario: Oops
Mario: Ok well
Mario: When you are done with your student, could you please stop by Omnia Academy and go to the meditation club room.
Mario: Luigi has been non-stop meditating for two days now, and it's got me really worried.
Mario: My bro was at the academy a few days ago, according to 1 and 2, so I need someone who can enter the place to check it out.

Meggy: ...
Meggy: of course
Meggy: give me like 15 mins
Meggy: i'm at the academy with my student anyways

Mario: Thank you so much Meggy

SMG4: You don't have your student pass anymore Mario?

Mario: I threw it out,,

SMG4: Of course you did

SMG2: It would've been 'expired' anyways
SMG2: They only accept student passes for maybe a month after the student's graduation

SMG3: do I seriously have to sit here for 15 minutes to get an update on this??

SMG4: Yes honey, that's just how life works

SMG3: fuck that I'm streaming for 15 mins then
SMG3: hop on uno
SMG3: www.Twitch.tv/PoggieKing3

Tari: Ooh!

SMG4: Oh hell yes

Chapter Text

Starbucks, Internet Graveyard

SMG3 was quickly rushing to get everything he needed open. Maybe he should've done that before he linked his account.

Stream? Started, currently on the 'Starting Soon' screen. Discord? Open. Uno? He has it. It's loading.

The moment he looked to the moniter with discord open, SMG4 had coincidentally started a voice call request.

He couldn't help but bop to the call request music for a few seconds before clicking accept.

"Hey dude, you ready?" Four immediately asked, clearly excited to participate in a stream.

SMG3 rolled his eyes. "Give me a second dumbass, I've gotta get my shit ready."

"Tari wanted to play as well, right?"

"Uh, yeah that's fine. She's gonna be on stream though," he replied.

A simple, yet iconic sound played for but a second, signifying someone new joining the voice call.

"Hiya!" the voice that clearly belonged to Tari called out.

"Sup Tari," SMG3 greeted.

"We just playing with three people?" SMG4 asked.

"Hell no that's weird," SMG3 stated, as if offended by the idea. "Invite One or Two."

"Oh! Maybe invite Belle!" Tari offered.

"I'm inviting One," SMG4 said as he did so. "Belle might get a little..."

"That's fair," Tari replied a little disappointed, but she understood.

Another join call sound effect.

"Finally, what took you so long?" Three complained.

"Calm down, it did not take me that long," SMG1 answered. "Plus, I was deciding if I really wanted to risk my dignity playing Uno live with you."

"Oh fuck you."

"G-guys! Can we just start?" Tari said, attempting to bring the tension down.

SMG3 looked back to the moniter housing Uno. "Right, whatever."

Clicking around the menu a few times, SMG3 had invited everyone to a good ol' game of Uno. At this rate, they have less than 10 minutes till Meggy stops at Omnia Academy. Facing another moniter, the streamer finally started the stream.

"What is up my beautiful audience! PoggieKing3 here, aka SMG3. I've got a few guests, we're playing like, a single game of Uno. This'll be a quick stream," SMG3 quickly rushed a half-assed intro for the stream.

"That intro was complete ass dude," SMG4 commented as the game started.

SMG3 grumbled at the starting cards he got. "Fuckin' think I don't know that?" He looked over to the stream moniter to check the chat.

'heyyyyyoooo!!!'

'Isn't it 1 am 4 u rn dude???'

'holy shit isn't that ur bf?? Hiiiii1!!1'

'blud got dealed absolute shit cards lmao'

'bro those cards💀'

'rip this game u lost already,,'

It seemed that chat agrees his cards are complete trash.

Tari seemed to make and "Ooooh" sound upon recieving her cards.

SMG1 recieved his cards. "Alright Three, you're playing the first card," he mentioned.

SMG3 gave a sound of acknowledgment as he placed a blue four on top of the game's starting blue three. He looked back to the chat as the others thought out their moves.

'Wait is that Tari?!'

'omg bluejay hiiii~'

'yooo it's da metal arm girl, right??'

'Yay, it's the blue hair gamer!!'

'who tf is the other dude?'

SMG3 sighed. This happened anytime Tari would show up on stream. "Chat is freaking out about you, Tari," he informed her.

"O-oh gosh. Again?" She replied embarrassed. SMG3 could tell she was blushing from just her voice.

"Also, 'the other dude' is SMG1, and he's a total fucking blockhead. Literally," he joked as he watched Tari place a yellow four.

"Really? We're going there now?" SMG1 asked, sarcastically offended, as he played a yellow two.

SMG4 placed down a yellow +2. "Lol get fucked Three," he taunted.

"Yeah, maybe later," SMG3 said smirking as he drew 2 cards.

"Hubuhdaphhhhhft Wha-" Four sputtered in response.

He could barely hear giggling in the background. A yellow five was placed.

'why r u gae?'

'lmao wtf dude'

'lololol'

"We get it chat, you find my gay ass funny," SMG3 remarked.

SMG1 put down a red five. "Personally, I find your gay ass unfunny," he commented.

'Homophobic???!!!'

'Yoo what tf??'

'GAYPHOBIC ALERT???'

'How dare u call our gay poggie king unfunny'

"Oh my god guys wait-" SMG3 started laughing. "One! They- heh, the chat is calling you homophobic now."

"Wait NO! What!? No, I'm- I am in full support of the LGBTQ+, as I myself am apart of it," SMG1 defended himself.

"Wait for real?" SMG3 raised am eyebrow curiously, despite the viewers being the only people who could see it.

"That's all you're going to get out of me right now, maybe you should've been nicer."

"Snitchy it's your turn," SMG4 reminded Three.

"Oh shit." He took a second before realizing that he needed to draw for a red, or a five. "Fuck."

He began to draw a card. Nope. Another? Nope. Third times the charm? Screw that.

There was some snickering.

'lolol what is ur luck rn'

'Bro I'd give up lmao'

'like i said, rip this game bruh'

Grumbling as he finally pulled a red six, he put it down.

"What took you so long?" SMG1 asked.

"Kys," SMG3 mumbled.

"S-SMG3!" Tari shouted. "Don't say things like that live!"

He shrugged despite her not being able to see it. "Haven't been banned yet."

"Because spinning around in a pool near-naked and saying, 'Ooh, will anyone give me the succ?' didn't, right?" SMG4 said.

'oh lmao i remember that bro'

'#IwasThereForTheEndlessStream'

'Still can't believe you did that'

SMG3 put his head in his hands. "Nooooo! We do not talk about the endless stream."

"SMG3, your turn again," Tari mentioned quietly.

He looked back up. "Shit it is?" He hadn't been paying attention to the game at all. "Sorry I'm just so fucked this game that I kinda don't care."

The color was still red, so he had to draw even more cards. "Oh. My. God," he pulled another card. "You see what I mean? I'm totally fucked."

Eventually pulling a yellow seven to go on top of SMG4's red seven, SMG3 sighed with relief.

The call join sound effect caused SMG3 to look to his other moniter. Who would join now?

"Uh hey guys?" A voice could somewhat be heard through the crappy audio.

"Meggy? What's up. We're streaming Uno right now actually. Are you uh... at the place?"

'hold up is that da squid'

'TF is up with her audio holy shit'

'Tell her to get a better mic on god'

SMG3 snickered. "Uh also, what's up with your audio? It's never this bad?"

There were a few cut outs, but it was understandable. "Yeah, I'm there. The reception is really bad here. I'm on my phone by the way, that's why my audio's bad, idiot."

"Ah Ok. Um look chat, this was fun. Like I said, short stream. Sorry we couldn't finish the game, but technically Tari won because of having the least cards. Anyways, somewhat important business calls, so we gotta go," SMG3 informed his stream's chat.

'Byyyyyyyeeeeee!!'

'Woooo BlueJay wins again!'

'how many times has blue hair won on stream now?'

'This was a nice stream though. Have fun with whatev biz u gotta do!'

'important business? ooooooooooooohhh'

'Don't cause a universal threat this time'

'cya dude!!'

'(K)eep (Y)ourself (S)afe'

'FingMoms donated $5: dont die bro'

SMG3 ended the stream with, "Fuck off FM, but thanks for the dono."

The voice call was silent.

...

...

"So Meggy. Did you find anything?" SMG1 broke the silence.

It took a moment for her to respond. "Sorry, there's a lot of delay," she replied. A few more seconds passed. "I think? Maybe. The uh... the white board is covered in writing."

"Well what's it say?" SMG3 rushed.

"I'm trying to read it, dumbass. The handwriting is terrible," Meggy grumbled.

There was some mumbling from Meggy's end, probably her attempting to read out the writing...

"Something about... reaching another level?" Meggy stated confused.

"Another level of astral projection?" Tari proposed.

"Perhaps," SMG1 replied. "But I wonder, what will that do for them? And why is Luigi spending so much time on it?"

"There's uh, a lot more writing," Meggy noted. "Something about spirits?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" SMG4 asked like anyone here knew.

"I think..." Meggy began, but her breathing was stuttered, "They—"

The discord join call sound interupted her.

"MAMA-FUCKERS LUIGI IS AWAKE"

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Mario: Luigi's way to exhausted right now
Mario: He shouldn't talk.

Meggy: Did you get him something to eat?

Mario: Yes
Mario: And I got him some water.

Meggy: Good
Meggy: What happened?
Meggy: Did he just stop meditating all of the sudden?

Mario: Pretty much

SMG4: Meggy you were saying something before we were interupted

Meggy: I don't know
Meggy: It's all so confusing

SMG3: well Mario here is smart as shit apparently so
SMG3: have him figure it out

SMG1: Not a bad idea actually.

Tari: Do you think you can do it Mario?

Mario: I
Mario: Yes
Mario: Tell me what you know and I'll get this solved

SMG3: wow really confident huh?

Mario: If my little bro is involved
Mario: I'll figure anything out no matter what.

SMG1: Very well.
SMG1: Based on what Meggy saw, the Omnia Academy Meditation Club has their room's whiteboard filled with notes.
SMG1: Meggy, can you attempt to transcribe some of the information?

Meggy: Right
Meggy: The writing is poorly written, but it mentions things like 'reaching another level', and 'projecting further.'
Meggy: And written even worse is something about
Meggy: spirits
Meggy: There are alot of notes that I can't even begin to try and read.

Mario: Hmm
Mario: Well
Mario: If the writing is bad, the it's probably rushed. Maybe they're obsessed with doing this.
Mario: But
Mario: They want to see spirits, obviously.

SMG3: how tf do u know??

Mario: 3
Mario: This is astral projection we're talking about
Mario: What else WOULD they mean by spirits?

SMG4: But why would Luigi want to see spirits?
SMG4: What ARE spirits?

Mario: Well, many different people use many different terminology
Mario: But I think in terms of astral projectors
Mario: Spirits would mean dead people?
Mario: I think.

Meggy: You THINK?!
Meggy: Red
Meggy: I NEED confirmation on this

Mario: This is going to be a sensitive topic but,
Mario: I think, yes.

SMG1: It seems we will need Luigi for any sort of confirmation.

SMG3: pff
SMG3: If the guy is willing to
SMG3: for all we know he'll tell us to fuck off

Tari: Luigi wouldn't do that!!
Tari: This is probably all just a big misunderstanding

SMG3: yeah right
SMG3: no way you think that when they've got a big ass theory board in the room

SMG4: How do you know the notes are a theory?

SMG3: well
SMG3: uh

SMG1: Something is telling me they are not theories.

SMG3: what? your meme guardian senses??

SMG1: No you idiot.
SMG1: Just suspicion.

Mario: Ok Luigi is done eating and drinking.

Meggy: I just hope he'll talk.

Mario: He looks really nervous...

SMG3: well duh
SMG3: he's got a whole group chat to answer to

SMG1: Listen Luigi.
SMG1: If you're reading this right now,
SMG1: Make this easy for us.

Meggy: If you've sworn secrecy to that stupid club, I don't care!
Meggy: We'll beat the crap out of them.

Luigi: I just
Luigi: This is hard

Mario: Hey bro...
Mario: I'll ask you some Yes or No questions.
Mario: If you can't answer, just say so.

Luigi: okie dokie

Mario: Were you forced into doing this? Is it a graduation requirement?

Luigi: no and no

Mario: Okay
Mario: When talking about spirits, do they mean dead people?

Luigi: y
Luigi: yes
Luigi: put simply

Meggy: What are you trying to do with dead people?????

Mario: Meggy, Yes or No questions.
Mario: Luigi, are you trying to see or talk to dead people?

Luigi: I
Luigi: we
Luigi yes
Luigi: we are trying to communicate

SMG3: holy shit

SMG4: Why the hell do you of all people wanna do that dude??

Luigi: well i

Tari: You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, Luigi.

Mario: Bro.
Mario: Do YOU wanna talk to dead people.

Luigi: ,,
Luigi: yes

Meggy: WHY

Mario: Can you explain why?
Mario: If I ask you why I think you did it, will you confirm?

Luigi: ok

Mario: Did you do it for yourself? A personal reason?

Luigi: no

Mario: You did it for us?

Luigi: well
Luigi: yeah

Meggy: Oh Luigi

Mario: Did you
Mario: Luigi did you succeed?

Luigi: uh
Luigi: yes
Luigi: I did
Luigi: it worked

Meggy: Who
Meggy: Luigi WHO did you talk to???

Luigi: a lot
Luigi: it didn't feel like two days
Luigi: was it really two days? my bro isn't lying?

SMG1: It was two days, Luigi. We were worried about you.

Luigi: oh
Luigi: sorry

SMG3: you actually did it tho
SMG3: you talked to dead people?
SMG3: like
SMG3: Axol?

Luigi: y
Luigi: yeah him

Mario: You did
Mario: You talked to Axol?

Luigi: yes

Mario: You said you talked to a lot of people?

Luigi: yeah

Mario: Could you list them all?
Mario: If it isn't too much to ask.

Luigi: uh well
Luigi: axol like i said
Luigi: the little red guy
Luigi: forgot his name

SMG1: You
SMG1: Spudnick
SMG1: You talked to Spudnick, Luigi?

Luigi: yeah that was it

SMG1: They
SMG1: Are they ok?

Luigi: uh
Luigi: yeah
Luigi: they're good

Meggy: Did you

Luigi: yes
Luigi: Desti said she's gald you're doing good

Meggy: Oh
Meggy: oh god
Meggy: I don't know how to
Meggy: think right now

SMG3: could you talk to uh

Luigi: im sorry
Luigi: i didn't see terrance

SMG3: damn
SMG3: it's ok

SMG4: Was that all the people you talked to?

Luigi: smg0 and niles

SMG3: oh shit really
SMG3: did you tell Niles to fuck off

Luigi: kinda
Luigi: i
Luigi: I think I need to rest right now

Mario: Of course.
Mario: You go do that, please.

Luigi went offline.

SMG1: That was quite interesting

Meggy: "Quite"??
Meggy: And
Meggy: You're just ok after that??
Meggy: That Luigi talked to your dead friend from years ago??

SMG1: Well. I know that they're okay now.
SMG1: I've moved on from their death.
SMG1: Not that I don't care about them, but
SMG1: Nothing worth me freaking out over.

Meggy: Well
Meggy: I'm a kind of a mess over here

SMG3: and that's ok, Meggy.
SMG3: this is a pretty big topic
SMG3: i'm a bit shaken myself actually

Meggy: heh
Meggy: I just don't get it.
Meggy: Why didn't he tell us?

Mario: He probably wanted to surprise us?

SMG3: "hey Meggy! Desti says she misses you! surprise, wahoo!"

Meggy: Oh shut it

SMG4: He said it didn't feel like two days for him
SMG4: I wonder how long it felt

Tari: Well, he did talk to a lot of people

Mario: Wait Meggy

Meggy: Yeah?

Mario: Are you still at Omnia Academy? This whole time?

Meggy: Oh
Meggy: Yeah.
Meggy: I'm just sitting in a random chair.

Mario: You should probably get home
Mario: Safely

Meggy: I'll go
Meggy: I'll do that now yeah
Meggy: I need some time to think
Meggy: And clear my head.

Meggy went offline

SMG3: hey uh
SMG3: sorry if this is a weird question
SMG3: are we letting Luigi do this
SMG3: like, again?

SMG4: Well
SMG4: I'd say maybe??

SMG1: It clearly took a lot out of him.

Mario: If he can limit himself.
Mario: So that he isn't spending two WHOLE ASS FUCKING DAYS

SMG3: lol

SMG4: Was wondering where that side of Mario went

Tari: Um so...
Tari: Are we telling the others?
Tari: Because we're the only ones who know about this

SMG4: We should
SMG4: This is not something to hide, I think

Mario: 4 is right

SMG3: I'll break it to Melony
SMG3: soon

SMG1: God I'm going to have to explain this to Two tomorrow...

SMG4: Oh he isn't reading this?

SMG1: He went to sleep.

SMG3: wow
SMG3: someone here with an actual sleep schedule???

SMG1: Oh please.
SMG1: The little dude sleeps whenever he feels like it.
SMG1: They've went to sleep during a class once.
SMG1: Abandoned me to teach on my own.

SMG3: lmao

SMG1: Anyways they...
SMG1: This is going to be bigger to them than it was to me.

SMG4: Yeah...

Mario: I'm gonna go
Mario: I hunger for the spaghetti

SMG3: *horny

Mario: kys

Mario went offline

Tari: Y'know
Tari: I hope Luigi goes and talks to dead people again
Tari: So that he can say that to Wren

SMG4: TARI WHAT—

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

Tari: Anyone manage to get some sleep last night?

Meggy: Haha
Meggy: no

Mario: Nope
Mario: I stayed up watching Luigi all night.

SMG4: For the most part yeah

SMG1: Same.
SMG1: I was thinking about how to tell Two.
SMG1: Eventually I guess I fell asleep at some point.

SMG4: Did you tell Two yet?

SMG1: This morning.
SMG1: He had a moment
SMG1: But they're good now.
SMG1: They said they're glad Spud is doing good.

Meggy: Wish that could be me
Meggy: Seeing her in the simulation really
Meggy: screwed with me

Tari: This may be a weird thing to say but,
Tari: Where is SMG3?
Tari: He would typically say something by now

Mario: Maybe he's streaming?

SMG1: Oh
SMG1: No lol.
SMG1: I forced him to sleep.
SMG1: I went to the Internet Graveyard this morning and found him still awake.

SMG4: God why can't that idiot just go to sleep

Tari: Is this a common issue?

SMG4: Very
SMG4: That fucker just doesn't sleep on his own terms
SMG4: Someone has to threaten him to sleep
SMG4: Or cuddle him to sleep :)

SMG1: If you could not tell, I prefer to use the threatening option.

Mario: Now I've got this really weird image of 1 hugging 3 to sleep
Mario: and I wanna shoot myself because of it

SMG4: Sorry One
SMG4: But Snitchy is mine

SMG1: Did not wanna touch him anyways.

Mario: I wonder why he has such trouble sleeping

SMG1: Maybe it has something to do with his code being glitched?

SMG4:  Huh
SMG4: Yknow maybe

Meggy: Is uh
Meggy: Is Luigi asleep?

Mario: Nah
Mario: He's running his flower shop rn
Mario: He wants to get his mind off things

SMG4: Makes sense

Meggy: I'm still figuring out how to handle this.
Meggy: We're really just gonna live our lives knowing that some people can just talk to dead people?

SMG4: Honestly not the weirdest thing we've seen

Mario: Legit
Mario: I'm having a hard time figuring out what is the weirdest thing

SMG4: Your "interests" in spaghetti is still the top for me

Meggy: Not going to lie
Meggy: Same

Mario: Oh I know what's the weirdest
Mario: I can never look at igloos the same, y'know

SMG4: MARIO

SMG3: YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
SMG3: THEN KILL U AGAIN

SMG1: Three.
SMG1: What are you supposed to be doing right now?

SMG3: cejkbdebhjwehjbkebwkjhyou'renotmydad
SMG3: UGH
SMG3: sleeping

Meggy: SMG3 do you have a sense for that?
Meggy: You just came crashing in here

SMG3: I woke up a bit ago
SMG3: but when One mentioned me sleeping I wasn't gonna expose myself

SMG1: Oh come on.
SMG1: You are going to ruin yourself if you don't get enough sleep.

SMG3: wow when u put it like that...
SMG3: I still don't give a flying fuck

Mario: lmao

SMG1: You know what?
SMG1: I will be watching you sleep tonight.

SMG3: ew
SMG3: anyways sup idiots
SMG3: so how are we telling the others about this dead people shit

Chris: Why don't you just have them go back and read the chat?

SMG3: wtf when were u here?????

Chris: Always have been.

Mario: You've sent like? 2 messages before this????
Mario: Why talk now??

Chris: Me n Swag are busy as shit with our jobs and crap
Chris: Rarely have time to actually chat
Chris: But I lurk and read

SMG3: oh fuck the military's got their spies on us

Chris: Uh what? No definitely not.
Chris: No clue what you're talking about.

SMG4: Wait are you actually spying on us for the government?

Chris: Well
Chris: Like I said, just @ Everyone and tell them to read back

Chris went offline

SMG3: GET BACK HERE FUCKER
SMG3: DON'T SPY ON US

Tari: Should we do what he said?

SMG1: I believe that WOULD be the easiest answer to our problem.

SMG3: well I'm not gonna watch this shit cya

Meggy: He is probably running off to the Anti Cast...

Mario: And he's probably gonna tell them about it.

---

The Snitchy Chat

Graveyardigan: I love being friends with someone who can talk to dead people

Oi Lady: I love you coming in here and dropping random stuff like that on us

Henati Addict: Hoo boy what happened this time?

DOLL: Well clearly he's friends with someone who can
DOLL: Talk to dead people???

Shroominator: Wowee that sure is something

Graveyardigan: Oh u guys gave Shroomy a nickname cool
Graveyardigan: Anyways yeah Luigi can talk to dead people
Graveyardigan: cuz of his weird meditation shit

DOLL: LUIGI????????

Hentai Addict: Like he can just???
Hentai Addict: Talk to them????

Oi Lady: Crazy ass shit ngl

Mel: is
Mel: Is that why everyone was pinged in the other chat?

Graveyardigan: oh fuck I keep forgetting ur in this chat
Graveyardigan: um shit sorry
Graveyardigan: Yes
Graveyardigan: Sorry Mel
Graveyardigan: I kinda wanted to tell you privately but

Mel: It's ok

---

Direct Messages

SMG3 -> Melony

SMG3: Mel are you good?

Melony: Yeah
Melony: I'm umm
Melony: crying

SMG3: I'm sure Megs was the same
SMG3: And it's 110% okay to.
SMG3: This was a surprise for all of us

Melony: How did you feel?

SMG3: Me?

Melony: Ye

SMG3: Well
SMG3: I felt confused
SMG3: and Shocked.
SMG3: And a little mad at Luigi for not telling us lol

Melony: heh
Melony: I haven't read the chat yet
Melony: Did he talk to
Melony: Axol

SMG3: Yeah
SMG3: He hasn't said much about what he talked to all them about
SMG3: But I'm sure he will eventually

Melony: Okay

SMG3: And if he doesn't
SMG3: I'll beat the crap outta him till he does

Melony: Hehe thanks

SMG3: No prob Mel

Melony: Three?

SMG3: That's me

Melony: can I hang out with you
Melony: in a couple minutes

SMG3: Of course.

Melony: Thanks!
Melony: I'm going to um

SMG3: Take a breather?

Melony: Yeah.

---

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: Melony just found out cuz I'm a dumbass and forgot she was in the Anti Chat
SMG3: again

Saiko: Was wondering where you were

SMG3: Y'know
SMG3: How come no one found out cuz they just read the chat BEFORE we @'d everyone???

Boopkins: I think we were all busy...

Saiko: I was doing band shit idk bout y'all

FM: i donated to 3's stream but i had no clue he was gonna talk to dead people damn

SMG3: I'm not the one talking to dead people dipshit

FM: whatev lol

Bob: Guys does this mean that Luigi can hook me up with dead bitches

Saiko: Holy fucking shit I wanna punch you so badly

SMG3: Bob
SMG3: go kys

Luigi: Bob I'm not doing that.

Bob: Bruh I was just joking

SMG3: uh huh

Saiko: Totally

SMG3: Anyways hey Luigi
SMG3: u good now?

Luigi: Yep
Luigi: Again, I'm really sorry about all of this.
Luigi: I didn't think it all the way through
Luigi: And it caused a whole freak out

SMG4: Like we said, It's ok dude!

Mario: I think it's worth it if we get to talk to dead people

Luigi: Mario!

Mario: What? Sure some people got emotional, but now those people can reconnect with the ones they miss.

SMG3: well I think the moral of the story here was to be honest with your friends

Meggy: Wow I was expecting you to make a joke.

SMG3: hehe I was thinking about it lol
SMG3: But unlike SOME PEOPLE
SMG3: I can tell when I shouldn't make a joke

Mario: Dude you've made plenty of jokes during serious moments.

SMG3: cjdjjkjnnjejkejnnjeuhhhhh
SMG3: Look at that I've gotta go pick up Melony cuz we're gonna hang out
SMG3: cya losers

SMG3 went offline

SMG1: Do you think he's lying about that?

Meggy: Nah.

---

The Internet Graveyard's Temple, SMG3's room.

SMG3 quickly clicked his phone off and threw it aside. He was telling the truth, Melony was probably ready to hang out by now.

Going to a nearby study desk, he grabbed a device and fiddled with it for a moment. Pushing the big button on it, a rippling red portal formed in the room. After making sure he was ready, SMG3 stepped through the portal.

...

After a few seconds, SMG3 returned through the portal, along with a nervous looking Melony.

"So," SMG3 beagn to ask, "What do you wanna do to get your mind off of things."

It barely took a second for Melony's eyes to start drifting towards the bed that sat in the room. "U-uhmm well," she mumbled.

Following her gaze SMG3 figured out that she was looking at... his bed. He couldn't help but snicker.

"You wanna go take a nap?" SMG3 raised an eyebrow at the girl. "I thought you wanted to hang out?"

Melony looked down gingerly. "I wanted to- But-," she started.

"You wanted an excuse to cuddle with someone?" SMG3 cut her off.

She looked up at him a little stunned.

SMG3 smirked, "I'm used to it. Four is an excuse factory when it comes to stuff like that when all he's gotta do is ask." He smiled at her. "Same thing goes to you. Just gotta ask."

Melony fumbled with her hands, and her words. "T-then can I um. Can we... cuddle?" Her eyes continuously swapped between looking at SMG3 and looking at the bed.

Chuckling, SMG3 gave her a soft smile. "Of course."

Walking over to the bed, SMG3 watched as Melony stumbly followed.

SMG3 laid down onto the bed with a bounce. He rolled to the other side of the bed and patted the open space to encourage the melon girl to lay down as well.

Slowly lowering onto the bed, Melony quickly wrapped her arms around Three.

"Woah there-" SMG3 gasped in slight shock.

After a few seconds of silence, it seemed that Melony had immediately fallen asleep. Gently, SMG3 reached up and ran his fingers through her hair. (Yes, he had his gloves off.) "You guys are making me way too soft..." he quietly grumbled.

Melony shuffled a bit closer to him. "Mmm gnight... dad..."

SMG3 took a deep breath, before letting out a soft sigh. "But... maybe that's a good thing..."

It didn't take long for him to doze off to sleep.

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG1: GUYS

Meggy: Woah you never type in all caps, what's up?

Mario: I swear if I have to go through another serious thing rn

SMG1: It's not no.
SMG1: You know how I said I would watch Three sleep?

SMG4: Right... did he catch you bein a creep?

SMG1: What? No.
SMG1: I walked into his room and look what I found.
SMG1: SMG1 attached and image

SMG1: euhdueuuedkd I'm freaking out they're so cute
SMG1: And she got him to sleep

Meggy: This is something I wasn't expecting YOU to be geeking out over.

Tari: Omg EEEeeeeeeeeeee THAT'S SO ADORABLE???

Meggy: This is something I was expecting you to geek out over.

Tari: Hehe

Mario: Y'all are freaking out over them being wholesome, which it is
Mario: But I'm rrly fuckin confused
Mario: How did 1's short ass take a top down picture?????

SMG4: Huh
SMG4: How tf did you do that dude

SMG1: Oh hold on.
SMG1: SMG1 attached a picture

SMG1: It may be too dark to tell in the picture, but I am standing on the chair that was in Three's room.

Tari: Wait!
Tari: The purple n pink stuff GLOWS?!

SMG1: Oh, yes.
SMG1: When in the dark. I suppose that is a little cool.

Mario: Okay the standing on the chair thing makes sense lol
Mario: Btw your image quality is ass 💀

SMG1: Give me a break, my phone is quite old.

Mario: Also u look naked without ur hat and sash ngl

SMG1: Why did you think that?

SMG4: I'm just not gonna question it

Meggy: Mario is just a whole bundle of things.
Meggy: He can say the smartest, dumbest, and weirdest stuff all in one day.

Mario: Mario attached a gif

SMG4: Ok yeah that's the reply I was expecting

Luigi: Heya guys!!
Luigi: Just closed up the flower shop, so I wanted to see what was going on over here.
Luigi: And based on the gif above, it's the usual?

Meggy: Yep basically.

Tari: And SMG1 posted a super wholesome photo he took of SMG3 and Melony!!

Luigi: Oh? Lemme go look
Luigi: Aww
Luigi: I should totally print that out so that I can show Axol if I do go talk to him again.

Meggy: Wha
Meggy: Sorry that jumpscared me
Meggy: You can show them stuff you print out?

Luigi: Yeah!
Luigi: Remember when you and Melony helped me n my bro with the Omnia Academy exam?
Luigi: I can basically take simple things like paper into the astral plane as a visual form.

Mario: Wait hol up
Mario: Can't you take people to the Astral plane???
Mario: U did that with Melony & Meggy!

Luigi: Technically yes,
Luigi: But just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Meggy: Ok Luigi, What the hell is that supposed to mean.

Luigi: When I did that back then, I was a inexperienced and did it on a whim
Luigi: But it takes a lot of my energy to do it.
Luigi: And if you guys spend too long there it can mess you up. It's complicated.
Luigi: It already took a lot out of me when I talked to dead people, I don't wanna know what it'll do to me if I take someone who hasn't meditated at all to talk to them.

Meggy: Oh alright.

Luigi: Maybe if you practice meditating it could become easier for me?
Luigi: But for now I think it'll just be me. Even then, I won't be doing it for a while.

Meggy: I don't think I have the time to meditate, with coaching and all that.
Meggy: Maybe some day.

Mario: Is now the wrong time to report that we are out of spaghetti

SMG4: Dude

Luigi: I'll stop by the store bro

Mario: Wahoo!!!

Meggy: My statement from earlier stands.

SMG1: He really is interesting.

Luigi: Well, has anything note worthy happened besides my whole mess in the past few days?

Tari: Don't know if it's much, but I took the UJM WR back from Belle!

Boopkins: That's pretty cool!!

SMG4: Oh hey Boopkins

Boopkins: Hii!

SMG4: Anything up with you?

Boopkins: Oh oh yes!
Boopkins: So, recently, in one of my favorite anime

SMG4: Ok nvm I don't care

Luigi: SMG4! Let him talk.

Meggy: Hell nah.
Meggy: If he starts talking about anime, I'm leaving.

SMG1: Well, maybe you should just leave anyways with that attitude.

Meggy: Woah damn.

SMG1: I simply believe he should get a fair chance to talk.

Luigi: Go ahead Boopkins :)

Boopkins: Ok!
Boopkins: In the new episode the main character got this new form
Boopkins: And it was really really cool and powerful!!

Mario: Super Melon Mode Melony clears, unfortunately.

SMG4: Talk your shit 🗣🗣🗣

Luigi: I don't know Mario, Melony's powerful but I think there are plenty of beings that are moreso.

SMG4: We get it Luigi, you beat Melony at basketball before.

Luigi: Wha
Luigi: That's not what I'm saying-

SMG4: Sure it isn't

Luigi: Sure- I did beat her at basketball
Luigi: and I absolutely did destroy her tho
Luigi: I'm saying that beings like Shaggy could beat her in power.
Luigi: But not me.

Mario: Ok well now ur selling yourself short bro

Tari: Yeah! Don't do that!
Tari: Your pretty strong

Luigi: Guys I'm most definitely NOT strong enough to fight against the power of the Fierce Deity Mask

SMG3: shit what da fuck are y'all talking about??

SMG1: Oh you're up.
SMG1: Did you sleep well.

SMG3: uh???
SMG3: I guess?

Mario: Is Melon girl up too?

SMG3: whajjded???
SMG3: HOW DID U KNOW ABOUT THAT????

Mario: oopsie 🤭

Boopkins: SMG1 took a picture!

SMG1: Oh why'd you go and out me like that!

SMG3: huhdehjdkj
SMG3: you're lucky Mel is still asleep
SMG3: or I'd be yelling rn

Mario: Just leave the room???

SMG3: see, I would
SMG3: but she's still kinda hanging on to me

Tari: Awwww~

SMG3: DO NOT "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~" THIS

SMG4: Ok one too many Ws there bae

SMG3: I do not care for your opinion at the moment

SMG4: :'(

SMG3: ok imma try and squeeze outta here

Meggy: What? You don't wanna spend quality cuddle time with your daughter?

SMG3: WHATOWSHSWKJ MY DAUGJKETER???????

SMG4: MEGGY WHAT?!!?

Meggy: =)

SMG3: IMM GONNA FUCKING
SMG3: MEGGY LOOK OUT UR WINDOW

Meggy: What? I don't see anything?
Meggy: OH
Meggy: Is that ur fucking portal??

Tari: What is he doing??

Meggy: OH SHIT HE JUST RAN INTO THE BUILDING AT MACH SPEED WTF
Meggy: @Bob KEEP THAT DUDE OUT

Bob: nah lmao

Boopkins: Bob that's mean!

Bob: lolol
Bob: He had alrdy ran past when she asked anyways lol

Mario: R.I.P Meggy
Mario: The funeral will be held uhh idk when
Mario: She was a great friend
Mario: Mario will miss her dearly
Mario: I'll make sure to win splatfest for u Meggy-

Meggy: DO NOT MAKE THAT JOKE
Meggy: AND I'M NOT DEAD DUMBASS

Chapter Text

The Glitchy Crew

SMG3: @Mario
SMG3: YOU FUCKER
SMG3: IM GOING TO BREAK INTO THAT CASINO AND KILL YOU

SMG4: Don't tell him that!!!

Mario: lolololol
Mario: good luck three

Meggy: Wtf Is going on here?

SMG3: THAT MOTHERFUCKER TOOK MY NOTEBOOK

Mario: *Diary

SMG3: NOTEBOOK

Meggy: What is in that damn notebook that you're threatening the end of the universe for.

SMG3: stuff

Meggy: ?

Mario: I've yet to get it open but I know there is something in here

Meggy: Yet to get it open???

SMG3: ITS LOCKED

Meggy: mario
Meggy: You're literally a genius how do you not know how to bust a lock.
Meggy: Give it to me an I'll break it open in less than a minute

SMG3: NO BITCH
SMG3: YOU STAY RIGHT THERE

Meggy: Okay do not call me that.

Saiko: This is so fuckin funny

SMG3: NO ITS NOT
SMG3: GLITCHY TELL YOUR FRIENDS THIS ISN'T FUNNY

SMG4: ...
SMG4: kinda funni to watch u squirm like this ngl

SMG3: FUCK
SMG3: WE'RE BREAKING UP

SMG4:WWGYYHW
SMG4: ITS NOT FUNNI
SMG4: MARIO GIVE THE DIARY BACK
SMG4: I MEAN NOTEBOOK

Mario: nahnahnahnahnah

SMG4: Mario this is serious dude just give it back

Mario: well...
Mario: How bout nooooo

SMG3: UGH
SMG3: YKNOW WHAT
SMG3: @MELONY
SMG3: MELONY I NEED U TO HACK CASINO PAISANOS

Melony: srry dad im busy

SMG3: jkjdjdjhd???

Meggy: HAHHAHAHAHAHAH OMG
Meggy: I told you!!!

Melony: :3 teehee

SMG3: MEL WHYAT R U BUSY WITH ANSSSKSWSJWpi

Melony: me n my pet axolotl r playing uno rn
Melony: I have 2 type with 1 hand rn

SMG3: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
SMG3: THIS IS IMPORTANT MEL
SMG3: IS THE GAME ALMOST OVER???

Melony: No :3
Melony: weve been at it 4 over 6 hrs now

SMG3: GAH
SMG3: I LOVE U MEL BUT JUST END THE GAME

Melony: No >:3

SMG3: dejdejnopwldnehrfundehdhdehbbhfrhbrfrnrim rfkkrfiliflng mryilef

Mario: its so funny to watch you struggle =)

SMG3: IM SUPPOSED TO BE THE BAD GUY HERE
SMG3: ME

SMG4: Oh puh-lease

Bob: yo mario
Bob: how much for the diary

Mario: uhhhhhh
Mario: 420 billion????

Bob: damn
Bob: all ive got is 2 bucks

Mario: screw off then lol

Bob: dang

Mario: @Luigi Can u grab me another plate of spaghetti

SMG4: ??

SMG3: WHAT
SMG3: LUIGI IS THERE

Luigi: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Luigi: hahha......
Luigi: Sure thing Mario-

SMG3: DONT LEAVE THE CHAT

SMG4: ...He already left probs

Mario: lol ofc my bro is working at the casino
Mario: You guys know he's a dealer

Meggy: Honestly, I forgot.

SMG3: Yeah I kinda only remember his whole thing being flowers and getting scared

SMG4: @Luigi Get us that damn notebook

Mario: Why thank you for the spaghetti my dear brother.
Mario: Sorry, were you guys talking to Luigi? I was just so busy chatting with him during his break.

SMG3: MARIO
SMG3: I AM GOING TO GO INTO THERE
SMG3: AND RIG EVERY CASINO GAME

Mario: Good luck with that ;3

Chapter Text

Static. Ringing.

That was all that he could hear. Yet he couldn't see anything.

Welp. At least he could think.

...

What was the last thing he could remember?

Luigi the Meat Mallet.

He mentally groaned. Why was THAT the way he had to go out? Couldn't it have at least been somewhat cooler?

Why? WHY?

WHY did his plan fall apart at the LAST moment.

As he mentally complained, something came into vision...?

It was some sort of... chat? A group chat.

The way he saw it was as if it was plopped right in front of him. Just floating there.

Someone sent a message. They seemed to be confused.

He read the username of the messenger.

Confusing emotions filled him when he recognized the name.

For the first time since the static, he spoke.

"Wren."

---

Untitled Chatroom.

Multiple people were added to the chatroom by ----.

Wren: ???
Wren: Why was I added to here?

Niles: I would like to know the same

Wren: Do I know you?

Niles: Nope

Puzzles: Well isn't this interesting!

Wren: MR. PUZZLES???
Wren: WHAT

Puzzles: It is wonderful to talk again, One-Shot.

Niles: Why am I feeling some sexual tension here

Wren: Piss off

Puzzles: Yes, this is our conversation.
Puzzles: Piss off.

Niles: I must have been added here for a reason

Puzzles: Well go figure that out, why don't you.

Niles: Whatever

Puzzles: Anyways, as we were saying.

Wren: I'm sorry Mr. Puzzles

Puzzles: Oh?
Puzzles: For what?

Wren: I failed!
Wren: I couldn't keep them in the simulation
Wren: I DIED

Puzzles: Oh no, my dear, Wren.
Puzzles: You did EXACTLY what I wanted you to.
Puzzles: But ah- You're death was not part of my equation.

Wren: I did?
Wren: Then, you managed to get five stars?

Puzzles: ah
Puzzles: Yes!
Puzzles and no

Wren: "and no" ?

Puzzles: That pesky group bested me.
Puzzles: At my own game too!

Niles: Wait
Niles: What "pesky group" are we talking about here.

Wren: Meggy Spletzer and her stupid friends.

Niles: Oh my fucking god

Wren: You know 'em?

Niles: YES
Niles: THOSE FUCKERS KILLED ME

Puzzles: Hmm
Puzzles: I think we may have just discovered why we're all here.

Niles: SMG4 and his idiots killed us?

Wren: Wait Mr. Puzzles
Wren: You're dead?

Puzzles: I wouldn't precisely call it that.
Puzzles: It feels more like, down for the count for now.

Niles: I think it's more like, in denial

Waluigi: Last I checked I was alive
Waluigi: So

Niles: Who the hell are you

Wren: Yeah what are you doin' here?

Puzzles: Oh how interesting!
Puzzles: I've updated the hypothesis on why we're here.

Niles: Yeah?

Wren: What is it?

Puzzles: We're not all dead, but instead we have all fought the SMG4 crew.

Waluigi: That sounds more accurate

SMG3: now that makes sense

Niles: asdjocihjqfwdfas SMG3
Niles: SUPER MEME GUARDIAN THREE
Niles: YOU

SMG3: figured that was the response I was gonna get

Wren: Why are YOU here

SMG3: uh?
SMG3: why WOULDN'T I be here?
SMG3: I'm Four's nemesis
SMG3: His arch-enemy
SMG3: His rival

Waluigi: His boyfriend?

SMG3: SHUT UP

Niles: WOAH
Niles: You and G4 are dating???
Niles: Wait were you dating back when I was around?

SMG3: WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING THIS

Puzzles: oOooh, maybe I should do a sleeping beauty episode.
Puzzles: I can see it perfectly, SMG4, a sleeping princess and SMG3, a dashing prince.
Puzzles: That kiss will get me FIVE STARS in no time!

SMG3: Dude
SMG3: stop talking like you're alive
SMG3: you can't make any more movies

Puzzles: I. AM. NOT. DEAD.
Puzzles: I WILL COME BACK AND I WILL SHOW YOU I WILL GET FIVESTARSFIVESTARSFIVESTARSFIVESTARSFIVESTARS
Puzzles: AND YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDIOTIC PESKY FRIENDS WILL REGRET EVER DISOBEYING ME

SMG3: SMG3 attached an image

SMG3: oooOOOoooOOOhhh 4.5 star rating ahhh spooky
SMG3: you scared?

Niles: lol

SMG3: Oh but I thought you hated me Niles

Niles: Honestly I actually don't really give two shits anymore

SMG3: wait that reminds me
SMG3: Luigi astral projected and talked to you a bit ago, right?

Niles: Your Avatar's brother, yes.
Niles: We chatted for a while
Niles: Me and Zero explained some things and he departed on good terms, at least I think so

Wren: Hey, the Luigi fella didn't talk to me!

SMG3: yeah well he's planning on it eventually
SMG3: and Tari told him to tell you to kys

Wren: Yeah? Well you can tell her!
Wren: That I'm sorry

SMG3: don't count on it

Niles: So we gonna talk about how the Puzzles dude just went quiet on us?

Wren: He's just calmin' down

Puzzles: Yes!
Puzzles: JuST TaKIng a breaTher!! is ALL!

Niles: Nah I think those stars really did scare him

Wren: Fuck off dude

Niles: Dude are you his boyfriend or something man
Niles: Cuz you are defending him like crazy

Wren: WHAT NO

SMG3: ngl that would be crazy

Puzzles: LET'S FLIP THE TOPIC, SHALL WE?
Puzzles: Why don't we introduce ourselves, hmm?

SMG3: sure, not like I don't already know all of you

Puzzles: I'm Mr. Puzzles! Television Head extraordinaire and creator of the revolutionary TV service wonderfully named, PuzzleVision!

Waluigi: So, why'd you go after SMG4?

Puzzles: Him and his crew were my actors! They were naturals!
Puzzles: And then they went and turned their backs on me!

SMG3: we were unconsensually your actors
SMG3: and we broke free from your control and kicked your ass for it

Puzzles: That's not how I see it.

Niles: We get it dude, you've got a big ego
Niles: Guess it's my turn
Niles: Name's Niles. I'm a Meme Guardian, and I became Zero by forcing my friend SMG0 to help me restore my universe.
Niles: I went after Mario, so I could use him as my new Avatar.
Niles: Didn't work out in the end, got my ass beat.

SMG3: damn right you did

Niles: Yeah yeah
Niles: I learned a valuable lesson after that

SMG3: oh yeah, what?

Niles: You guys have some crazy plot armor

Wren: I know, right?

Niles: Your turn, Wren person

Wren: One-Shot Wren.
Wren: I used to be the best splatfest champion there ever was! Everyone loved me!
Wren: I inspired so many people! But, one stood out.
Wren: Meggy. I gave her my beanie.
Wren: Eventually, I spiraled, lost my champion title.

Puzzles: Then I showed up and graciously gifted you a simulation!
Puzzles: All the gorgeous ratings I got from your show!

Wren: Right. Everything was lookin' up.
Wren: But I needed someone else. A real person.
Wren: I needed a splatfest champion. I needed competition. I needed Meggy.
Wren: I baited her into the simulation, along with her idiotic friends.

SMG3: you guys keep calling us names and shit
SMG3: I'm right here you know

Wren: We know.
Wren: Anyways, that cybernetic chick saw through my simulation!
Wren: She helped them escape and, well
Wren: I died as the place went up in flames.

Puzzles: Yes, that...
Puzzles: The machine wasn't meant to handle the amount of stress you put on it.

Wren: It's whatever.

Niles: Oh my God Box, what an exposition.

SMG3: ...did you just say oh my god box
SMG3: that is hilarious to me for some reason

Niles: Screw off man

Waluigi: Do I even need to talk about what I did?

SMG3: I think everyone here, besides Niles, know about the T-Pose virus

Wren: I heard about it on the news

Puzzles: I was the news.

SMG3: dude, if you've been around this whole time how have I never heard about you?

Puzzles: Listen, it took a while for my stuff to pick up.

Niles: What I'm hearing is that you just suck and your stuff is crap

Puzzles: ALL OF MY PRODUCTIONS ARE FIVESTAR WORTHY AND THAT'S WHAT THEY DESERVE

Niles: Jeez, take a chill pill
Niles: Or... turn on your ventilation fan
Niles: Do TVs have ventilation fans?

Puzzles: Pointless question.

Niles: Whatev
Niles: Anyways, what about this "T-Pose Virus"

Waluigi: I created a mushroom that would make someone mindlessly T-Pose, and it could spread via touch.
Waluigi: I took over the mushroom kingdom, but SMG4 and his friends stopped me.

SMG3: more like I stopped you

Waluigi: With therapy.

SMG3: right. with therapy.

Wren: Therapy?

SMG3: I'm a licensed therapist

Puzzles: I can see it perfectly! DR. SMG3!
Puzzles: What a show that will be!

SMG3: Can it TV man. I already did that, and it went as well as it could.

Puzzles: Well, it wasn't even THAT good of an idea.

Niles: Hey, G3. You have to talk about yourself

SMG3: I am not going over my entire history with Four
SMG3: I'm his enemy. the end.

Puzzles: Oh, but you missed the part where you start dating!

SMG3: shut it.
SMG3: wait

Puzzles was muted for 30 seconds

SMG3: I'M THE MODERATOR OF THIS CHATROOM!!

Niles: Okay wtf man
Niles: Why you!?

SMG3: cuz I'm the real villain in this chat

Wren: I don't know, some of us have done worse

Chatroom was renamed to 'Terrible People'

SMG3: there is only one person I can think of who is worse than me, and he's not here

Wren: Oh?

Niles: I'm curious, who is it?

SMG3: Hi Curious, I'm SMG3

Niles: Dude. Dad jokes?

SMG3: ugh, why do people still keep calling me a dad

Wren: The fact that this is a problem has me concerned.

Puzzles: We're getting off channel here!
Puzzles: Just who is it that is worse that the horrid SMG3?

SMG3: ew don't say it like that
SMG3: anyways it's a dweeb named Francis
SMG3: dunno why he isn't here considering he meets the criteria

Wren: Oh, that fucker!?

SMG3: for a moment I was like, you know him?
SMG3: then I remembered that you're an inkling
SMG3: did he kidnap you too?

Wren: Nah, hiding in back allies finally did me some good.

Niles: So what's up with this Francis dude

Puzzles: Yes, what makes this man so terrible that he isn't even allowed here?

SMG3: well for starters, massive weeb

Puzzles: I've heard enough.

Niles: You don't like anime?

Puzzles: It doesn't exactly satiate my tastes of entertainment.

Niles: So he's horrible cause he's a 'weeb'?

SMG3: oh no he's also a mass kidnapper and genocidal maniac

Puzzles: Ah.

Niles: Not like I'm better lol

SMG3: true actually

Niles: Hey G3.

SMG3: yep, that's me

Niles: You gonna tell the others about this chat?

Wren: Uh, please don't?

Puzzles: Please do!
Puzzles: I'd love for the world to know that Mister Puzzles will return!

SMG3: No.
SMG3: I know all you guys are dead, so you can't do shit
SMG3: but I'm not gonna let my friends worry about this for no reason
SMG3: no one besides me will know about this

Puzzles: Such a bore.

Niles: Thanks, G3

Waluigi: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone either.

Niles: Not gonna lie, I don't think anyone was worried about you telling anyone

Wren: Yeah.

Waluigi: Eh, forgotten as usual.

SMG3: y'know I wonder who made that chatroom and put us here

Puzzles: Wonderful question, I'm dying to know as well.

SMG3: aren't you already dead tho?

Puzzles: I'm not even going to respond this time.

SMG3: good, I didn't want you to

Puzzles: Listen here you little rat.

SMG3: whatever, you guys can screw around
SMG3: I'm going to sleep

Francis was added by ----

Francis: ...Hello?

SMG3: OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING ME
SMG3: *WITH ME
SMG3: I MEANT FUCKING WITH ME

Chapter Text

Terrible People

Francis: Erm
Francis: What.

SMG3: I'm not dealing with this shit

SMG3 went offline

Niles: So you're the "genocidal maniac"?

Francis: Well, I wouldn't call it THAT.
Francis: It makes me sound bad.

Wren: It may be that you are a bad guy.

Francis: Am not.

Puzzles: Well, whatever you think you are, it is a pleasure to meet the only person that SMG3 thinks is worse than him.

Francis: So what even is this?

Niles: Apparently it's a chat with all the people who've fought SMG4.

Francis: Ugh that weirdo?
Francis: I can't stand him.

Puzzles: I know right?
Puzzles: Him and his friends are such troublemakers!

Niles: So Francis
Niles: Are you dead too?

Francis: ..Yes
Francis: All of you are too?

Puzzles: For the last time, I am not dead!

Wren: Most of us are.

Niles: SMG3 and Waluigi are alive.
Niles: And this Puzzles dude claims he's not

Puzzles: Because it is true!

Francis: Idk that sounds like heavy denial bro

Puzzles: Puzzles attached a GIF

NUH-UH

Wren: Are we going to keep having this same discussion?

Niles: Yes

Francis: How many times has this happened exactly?

Niles: A few

Puzzles: Let's move along, shall we?

Niles: What do we even talk about?

Francis: What's your favorite anime?

Niles: My universe didn't have anime

Wren: Nope.

Puzzles: Terrible entertainment.

Francis: You just don't appreciate the true media

Puzzles: TRUE media is something with personal passion!
Puzzles: Like my streaming service!

Niles: Can we just agree that both of your shit sucks?
Niles: Why don't we talk about
Niles: UH
Niles: Who do we hate the most in the SMG4 Crew??

Puzzles: SMG4 Easily!
Puzzles: That man is a terrible producer with no powerful passion for perfection.

Wren: I hate that Tari girl.
Wren: Not only 'cause she saw through my simulation, but she's also to damn nice.
Wren: Such a goody two shoes.

Niles: I know that I asked the question, but I don't actually hate anybody.

Puzzles: Is that so?

Niles: Although, I guess I am glad I didn't wind up getting Mario as my Avatar
Niles: I don't think I would've ended up liking it in the end

Francis: Axol
Francis: I was so much better than that annoying Axolotl and yet he managed to beat me!
Francis: I should have just killed him!

Niles: Your welcome.

Wren: What

Francis: Your welcome? Why?

Niles: I killed him.

Wren: Oh darn.

Puzzles: Ooh, was it exciting!?

Niles: Okay, I wasn't the one who directly killed him but I accept the blame for it

Francis: How do you not directly kill someone?

Niles: I put someone in a situation that forced her to kill him

Puzzles: That's a brilliant idea! Oh it just tugs at the heartstrings!
Puzzles: I can see it perfectly, two lovers with only one way out; death to one of them being the only answer!
Puzzles: The audience will be enthralled by a tragic romance.

Niles: Sure dude

Wren: Does it count if I killed Meggy but in a simulation where I revived her over and over?

Niles: uh

Francis: Depends
Francis: How brutal were the kills?

Wren: She had to watch herself bleed out multiple times over the course of a month.

Francis: uh
Francis: Wow. I think that counts, yeah.

Niles: Anyone else kill someone?

Puzzles: I was GOING to 'retire' the whole crew!
Puzzles: But
Puzzles: Ugh I don't even want to talk about it.

Niles: Guess they beat your ass, huh?

Francis: I killed Meggy's octoling girl.

Wren: Desti? You were the one who killed her?

Francis: Yep, and OH the reaction on everyone's faces!

SMG3 is Online

SMG3: ok I'm back cuz I can't sleep with this on my mind
SMG3: what're we talkin about?

Niles: People we killed

SMG3: just wonderful

Puzzles: I know, right?!

Francis: Have you killed anyone SMG3?

SMG3: nobody affiliated with Four
SMG3: also fuck you Francis
SMG3: and you Wren
SMG3: shit while I'm at it, you too Mr. Puzzles
SMG3: after Western Spaghetti I had to give Meggy therapy cause of being reminded of Desti
SMG3: and now she's been thinking about it again when you mentioned it, Puzzles

Niles: Sheesh

SMG3: you're not safe, Niles
SMG3: FUCK YOU

Niles: Ow

SMG3: do you know how much it hurts to see someone I see as a daughter be in so much emotional pain because you made her kill someone she loved?

Niles: Kind of

SMG3: wait what

Niles: It hurts when I see G0 think about Fred
Niles: I accidentally hurt my closest friends in an attempt to gain power

SMG3: y'know what
SMG3: I think we are all just deeply flawed people, who have a lot to improve
SMG3: and we should move on

Francis: Exactly!

SMG3: except you Francis
SMG3: fuck you

Niles: Yeah I think you're the only one here who is genuinely just a terrible person
Niles: Not even misguided or anything

Francis: Oh I see how it is!
Francis: 自殺しに行く

Francis went Offline

Wren: What?

Niles: Did he just say something in Japanese?

Puzzles: According to my translation, he said something along the line of:
Puzzles: Kill Yourself.

Niles: Already dead, man

Wren: He can go piss off.

SMG3: so what do you guys even do in the afterlife?

Niles: We chill

Wren: Wait, if you're alive how are we even able to be in the same chat?
Wren: It shouldn't work like that?

SMG3: idk man
SMG3: I've learned that sometimes there are things that are beyond comprehension
SMG3: like the great beyond

Niles: You think if you made me a moderator I could add other dead people?

SMG3: I'm not falling for that, you just want to be a mod

Niles: I kinda did want to try but whatev

SMG3 promoted Niles to Moderator

SMG3: try and add Terrance

Niles: Your fuckin Knuckles?

SMG3: YES
SMG3: my son

Niles: Yeah sure man
Niles: I'm not even sure that thing owns a phone

Terrance was added to the chatroom by Niles

Niles: Wow

SMG3: IT WORKED?????

Terrance: Idwkhu? Brx duh lq wklv jurxsfkdw? Lw kdv ehhq vr orqj!

SMG3: beautiful

Puzzles: I'm pretty sure that he can't type.

SMG3: you just don't speak his language

Wren: THAT is not a language

SMG3: khoor vrq. wklv fkdw lv zlwk ph dqg doo wkh shrsoh zkr ixfn zlwk pb iulhqgv oro. vrph ri wkhp duh ghdg dqg zhuh deoh wr dgg brx khuh.

Terrance: zrz! zhoo l vkrxog'qw vwdb khuh orqj. l grq'w wklqn l vkrxog eh khuh

Puzzles: How on Earth...?

Terrance: exw ehiruh wkdw whoo wkhvh jxbv wr nloo wkhpvhoyhv/j

SMG3: l kdwh brx iru vdblqj/j opdr/pos

Puzzles: How are they even able to use tone indicators with that?!?

Terrance: l grq'w wklqn dqb ri wkhvh shrsoh wuxob ghvhuyhg ghdwk. wkhb duh doo plvjxlghg dqg qhhg khos. l krsh rqh gdb wkhb zloo vhh wkh huuru ri wkhlu zdbv

SMG3: Terrance says that he doesn't think he should stay here for long.

Terrance: qlohv fdq uhpryh ph qrz. l'oo plvv brx ghdu idwkhu.

SMG3: remove him, Niles

Niles: UH?
Niles: Okay