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“Thanks again for helping out.” Steven moved to dig through the boxes at the base of the stage.
Lapis beamed, brushing some sand off of her hands. "My pleasure! This is going to be amazing!” After about an hour, it was only a simple scene. The makeshift stage set up on the beach and a few dozen chairs were placed in front. A few balloons were tied to the corners of the stage.
“You really think so? I know this whole thing was my idea but...” Steven rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the huge banner with the words “GEM TALENT SHOW” displayed across it. “Sometimes these things don’t exactly work out.”
“If it doesn’t work, then we can try something else then,” Lapis shrugged. “Let’s go finish putting up the rest of the flyers.”
“Alright,” Steven agreed, though he twisted his hands into the fabric of his jacket. “But this could completely backfire on us. The only purpose of this is to spread the word about who gems are and what we can and can’t do. If this only spreads more fear...”
He divided the last of the flyers between them. “If everyone thought it was going to backfire, no one would have agreed to do it,” Lapis admonished, leading them towards the boardwalk.
“I know, I know. But it’s my fault everyone’s scared in the first place. First Spinel—though it wasn’t her fault—and then my...” He still didn’t know what to call it. His therapist went for breakdown, the gems insisted that it was corruption, and the townspeople called it an incident. He shook his head. “People are scared of us. I can’t let anyone get hurt.”
“Steven,” Lapis said, something gentle lacing her tone. “No one is in danger. We’re all safe. Everything’s okay.”
“I-” Steven sucked in a deep breath, looking away. “Yeah, of course, I know that.”
“Hey,” Lapis stopped walking. An arm landed on his shoulder. “Has something been bothering you?”
“No, nothing.” A light breeze carried across the beach. “Nothing different than usual, at least.”
“Steven Universe,” Lapis said with a serious look. “You have to tell me what’s wrong. I demand that I am able to fill my duties as your favorite Lapis Lazuli.”
“I-” Steven began, shaking his head. He tried telling his Dad, his therapist, the gems, Connie, and no one has gotten it yet. No one seemed to understand. “That is the problem though! Nothing has happened!” he yelled. His anger didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel powerful. It was some slimy vermin crawling around his insides, twisting all his organs in the wrong directions.
“What?” Lapis asked, eyes filled with concern.
“It’s been months since everything. I’ve completely rearranged my entire life. I go to therapy. I do everything my therapist tells me. I don’t overwork myself. I talk to people honestly.” He gripped the papers so hard he thought he might rip them apart. It wouldn’t be the first time he destroyed something he worked hard on, after all. “I-I'm doing everything right and everyone told me it would take a while until I really start feeling better but...”
“But you still feel unsafe. You still feel alone and scared. You still can’t forget everything that happened,” Lapis finished. She stared into Steven’s eyes with an unflinching determination. Sometimes it was easy to forget how powerful a gem Lapis was. She could calm all the world’s oceans with a flick of her hand. She controlled Malachite for months in an unending battle of wills. She could cut the Earth into pieces in a day if she so desired. She was the gentle gaze of the moon and the trembling strength of the ocean.
“Yes,” Steven looked away, suddenly overcome with guilt. “I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel like this. It feels like this will never go away.”
“I know,” Lapis said simply. “For thousands of years, I thought I would never be released from my prison. And when I was, I was put into another. And then another. And when I escaped that one, I was so afraid you were trying to keep me in another prison. And after all that,” Lapis looked towards the endless sea, “When I did get used to the idea that I might be free, I still didn’t feel free. I felt alone. I have hurt people. You... the crystal gems... Peridot... myself...”
“But you didn’t mean to!” Steven protested.
“Exactly!” she agreed, “I felt so bad and so scared that I was going to be trapped again. And yet, I had you to help me. I had Peridot and all those plants and Camp Pining Hearts episodes at the barn to keep me occupied. And it took a lot of bad days, but eventually... there were good days,” Lapis smiled. Her gaze lingered towards the stage and sea, then found Steven again. “Like today.”
Steven almost couldn’t breathe. There was some unspeakable tension building up in his throat. “Do you still have them?” he nearly whispered. His desperate voice almost lost over the sound of the ocean. “The bad days?”
“Yes,” Lapis said simply. “Sometimes. But not as often, and now I have Peridot. On my good days, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. On the bad days, I know I have so many more good days ahead.”
“Yeah,” Steven said, looking towards the expanse of blue ocean and sky. The familiar salty air comforted him. The wind tickled his skin. For only a moment, the seventeen-year-old could almost feel, almost touch those endless summer days he spent on the beach as a kid. Those days when his biggest worry was whether Dad would let him buy ice cream for dessert or if the sea would wash up his sandcastle after he went inside for dinner.
“Good days ahead.”