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He was with The League. He could feel Dabi’s hand on the back of his neck, sizzling the fragile skin with a burning touch. The scene morphed into the bar. He could feel the cuffs digging into his wrists as he struggled. How long had he been here? There were no windows, no sense of time. It felt like forever.
Then Toga was over him. Her eyes suggestive and smile nasty. She ran a knife down his chest, giggling when she drew blood. Over, and over, and over. She licked the knife and transformed into him.
“You can’t lie to me. Everything you think, everything you feel. I can taste it in your blood,”
“Shut up! You don’t know shit!”
“I know how you feel about that red-haired boy. Dabi said he could hear how much he was yelling to save you. I know how you feel about yourself. You hate yourself. You think you’re weak. A failure. A villain. All the more reason to join us!”
“I’ll never join your stupid band of goons. I’m gonna be the Number One Hero and crush you all!”
“Is that so? What if we had something you wanted?”
“What?”
“Would you join us to save him? ” Toga yanked a chain and pulled a beaten body from the dark corner.
“Kirishima!”
“Bakugou… I’m sorry. I tried to save you. I swear I did!”
“Kirishima, I’ll get us out of here!”
“Poor baby. Do you really believe that?”
“Don’t touch him!”
“Okay. I won’t. But he will.”
Shigaraki stepped forward, Bakugou could see his sadistic smile that was hidden beneath the rotting hand.
“No… No! Don’t hurt him! Please…”
“Okay,” Shigaraki - as he laid his hand on Kirishima’s head. Bakugou screamed as he watched his best friend crumble away.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt him!”
“I didn’t,” he laughed. “I killed him.”
“I’ll never fucking join your league!”
“I know. That’s why you’re going to die, too. Think of the headlines! ‘UA hero student kidnapped and killed by the League of Villains’. And from under the watch of Pro Heroes, too! My goal is to destroy hero society. And I’ll start with you.”
Shigaraki’s hand came closer and closer. Bakugou screamed for mercy up until he felt five fingers against his face…
Bakugou woke up in a cold sweat, half of a scream stuck in his throat and small explosions popping from his palms. He’ll never get used to the sheer terror he feels after nightmares, no matter how many times they happen. Which is nearly every night. He can sort of take the ones where it’s just him getting hurt. But the ones where Kirishima gets hurt always break him. He tries to breathe, but all he can do is hyperventilate. The only oxygen he gets is through the sobs that come in between.
He barely hears the sound of his door swinging open and feet bounding towards him.
“Bakugou?” A voice says softly. Bakugou looks up and sees pointed teeth and bright red hair, down from the lack of gel. Kirishima. He didn’t even know he stopped breathing until he throws himself into Kirishima’s arms and dissolves into sobs again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. We’re in the dorms. You’re safe,” the other boy reassures.
“They hurt you!”
“Look. Look at me, Bakugou,” a soft hand guides his face until he’s looking at Kirishima, his face showing pure concern. “I’m okay. We’re okay.” The red-haired boy takes his hand and places it on his chest. Bakugou can feel his heart beating under his fingers, the strong beats slowing down his own racing heart. Kirishima guides him to match his breathing until it finally slows, only occasional hiccups remaining. Wordlessly, Kirishima climbs into the bed next to him and lays down, pulling Bakugou down with him and wrapping his arms around him.
“We’re okay,” Kirishima says with finality, and Bakugou slowly drifts back to sleep.
-
When Bakugou wakes up, the first thing he notices is the pounding in his head, followed by the strong arms wrapped around him. He remembers last night and winces. Today’s going to suck.
When his nightmares are that bad, they seem to follow him throughout the day, coming in flashes. Already he feels stretched thin, ready to snap at any moment. He feels the bed shift from underneath him.
“Hey,” a tired voice calls from behind him.
“Hey,” Bakugou responds tiredly.
“How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
Kirishima tightens his arm around him and presses his face against his back. “I know today is going to be hard, so take it easy. Okay, bro?”
“Yeah.”
They get up slowly, both a little sore from having to share a twin-sized bed. Kirishima makes his way over to the dresser and pulls two uniforms out, tossing the larger one to Bakugou. They’ve become accustomed to Kirishima spending the night sometimes ever since Bakugou’s first nightmare at the dorms, so now they just keep some of Kirishima’s stuff in his room.
“You ready to go?” Kirishima asks.
“Yeah.” Bakugou turns his tired face into a scowl, which Kirishima frowns at, and they make their way towards the common room.
-
Just like he suspected, the day was absolute shit. His mind constantly flashing with visions of being with the League. All he could do was give in to his compulsions to get them out of his head. Seven knocks on his desk. Squeezing his eyes shut. Even resorting to hitting his head in the hallways when no one was looking. It was the most embarrassing, but also the most effective one.
It all came to a head during heroics with All Might. Today was a lecture, which meant being stuck in a classroom with the teacher in his line of sight the whole time and no explosions to let out his emotions. Every time he saw his teacher, he saw the way his body transform from muscular to skeletal because of him.
Bakugou kept his head down for most of the lecture, relying on his hearing for notes and only looking up at the board if he really needed to. Heroics was the last class and he could tell her was about to break. He needed to get out of there as soon as the bell rang.
When class finally ended, Bakugou was quick to pack up his stuff. The sudden increase in conversation from his classmates was grating to his ears. Deku’s muttering only added to his discomfort, which was slowly building to panic. The nerd had gone to Round Face’s desk to talk about the logistics of Hawk’s quirk and had of course dissolved into the annoying mumbles that would follow him into his dreams.
“Shut the hell up, Deku! I’m fucking tired of hearing you mumble!” He roared across the room.
“Hey, Bakugou! That was uncalled for!” a floating uniform scolded from in front of him. He rolled his eyes.
“And I don’t want to hear shit from you, Invisibitch. Fuck outta my way.” Bakugou could feel every cell in his body as if they were ready to explode. He stood up, chair scraping loudly as he made his way towards the door. He tried not to look at All Might on the way out.
“Kacchan! That wasn’t very nice of you.” The fucking nerd was following him. He could already feel the panic making its way through his body.
“Kacchan, what’s wrong?” Can’t he just leave him alone for once? He needed to get out right now.
“Shut up, nerd,” Bakugou spat as he angrily wiped the tears that were starting to form in his eyes.
“Kacchan, are you okay? Don’t ignore me!”
“Get the FUCK out of my way, Deku!” Bakugou grinds out with a harsh shove, sending Midoriya to the floor.
“You can’t do that, Kacchan! You can’t just shove people and take your anger out on them because you’re emotionally constipated!” Midoriya missed the way Bakugou winced at that statement.
“I don’t have time for an extra like you right now.” He couldn’t really think over the increasing sound of ringing in his ears.
“Hey! Why are you acting like this? I thought we were better now! I thought we were equals.”
“Hah! That’s rich,” he answered out of reflex. Everything started to feel off kilter.
“Stop being such an asshole! I’m tired of being your punching bag, and I won’t be anymore. I worked my ass off to get into UA! The least you could do is show me some respect! I’ve only ever been nice to you. I looked up to you my whole life! You were better than me… and I could never beat you in anything!”
“I AM better than you!” Bakugou sneered, trying to hold onto his shield of anger for as long as possible.
“Then why were you so easy to kidnap!”
Bakugou stopped in his tracks, clenching his eyes shut to try and fight off the thoughts that were screaming in his head. He didn’t even notice he stopped breathing.
“Kacchan… I didn’t mean- I’m-”
Then the dam broke. All the memories, the images, the feelings , came flooding back and he couldn’t stop them this time, no matter how many times he squeezed his eyes shut or hit his head.
He could feel his breath starting to pick up as he tugged at his hair.
A burning hand on the back of his neck pulling him through a portal…
Getting knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, only to wake up chained to a chair…
He’s surrounded by the League…
Join us…
Join us…
JOIN US…
“Shut up. Shut up! SHUT. UP. Please… ”
How long…
The mind games from Compress…
The torture from Toga…
The threats from Shigaraki…
Where are the heroes?
Are they even coming for him?
Did they think he joined the villains?
Did they forget about him?
Did they leave him behind?
Again, again, and again.
It felt like it would never stop.
Bakugou barely registers his knees hitting the floor. He gasps for air, sobbing harshly in between. His mind can’t help but think of the night before.
-
Midoriya woke up bright and early with a smile on his face. Today was going to be a good day. He was excited for heroics with All Might. They were going to have a lecture on the quirks of the top five Pro Heroes. He couldn’t wait to learn more about Hawks, the youngest Number Two Pro Hero to date.
He made his way down to the kitchen to have breakfast with Iida and Uraraka, shooting the breeze with them over cereal. Midoriya waved brightly at Kirishima and Kacchan as they passed. The red-haired boy smiled brightly back, but Kacchan gave him a glare. He took a deep breath and smiled. No fighting today. Today will be a good day.
Midoriya’s upbeat mood followed him for the rest of the day. He spent his day surrounded by his friends, keeping a smile on his face. He noticed Kacchan’s persistent bad mood, but paid no mind to it. He didn’t want the bad emotions of someone else to bring down his own.
As predicted, heroics was amazing. All Might was able to get personal input from Hawks himself on his quirk (one of the benefits of being the former Number One). Midoriya had so much he wanted to talk about, unfortunately for Uraraka, but she was happy to talk when class ended, even if he did end up muttering again.
Midoriya’s muttering was interrupted with a yell from across the room.
“Shut the hell up, Deku! I’m fucking tired of hearing you mumble!”
Don’t let him bring you down. Not today.
“Hey, Bakugou! That was uncalled for!” Hagakure defended.
“And I don’t want to hear shit from you, Invisibitch. Fuck outta my way,” he sneered as he loudly shoved his chair back and started walking towards the door, keeping his eyes away from All Might.
Midoriya knew that Bakugou was an emotional person, as much as he knew that he hated it. He could see Bakugou’s face, red with anger and brows furrowed in a way that would leave wrinkles if he didn’t have his mother’s smooth skin. Midoriya knew something was wrong.
He got up to follow Bakugou. “Kacchan! That wasn’t very nice of you,” he called out. The blond ignored him and kept stalking away. “Kacchan, what’s wrong?”
“Shut up, nerd,” the angry boy finally responded. Midoriya missed the way his sleeve came up to his face to wipe away tears.
“Kacchan, are you okay? Don’t ignore me!” Midoriya huffed, running to catch up to Bakugou.
“Get the FUCK out of my way, Deku!” he responds with a harsh push, sending Midoriya to the ground, who looks up to see a face nearly matching the color of Kirishima’s hair. At this point, Midoriya was at his wits end with trying to help Bakugou. He mistakes the look of panic for anger, clouded by his own heightened emotions. Midoriya stands up, straightening his uniform before jogging to catch up again and give him a piece of his mind.
“You can’t do that, Kacchan! You can’t just shove people and take your anger out on them because you’re emotionally constipated!” Midoriya knew he should stop pushing, but his frustration was getting the best of him.
“I don’t have time for an extra like you right now.”
“Hey! Why are you acting like this? I thought we were better now! I thought we were equals.”
“Hah! That’s rich.”
Midoriya knew this was getting out of hand, but he couldn’t stop.“Stop being such an asshole! I’m tired of being your punching bag, and I won’t be anymore. I worked my ass off to get into UA! The least you could do is show me some respect! I’ve only ever been nice to you. I looked up to you my whole life! You were better than me… and I could never beat you in anything!”
“I AM better than you!”
He knew he should stop. “Then why were you so easy to kidnap!” Shit.
Why didn’t he stop?
Midoriya’s own words left himself speechless.
“Kacchan… I didn’t mean- I’m-” Midoriya’s apology was interrupted by a choked sob. He could see Bakugou’s shoulders shaking as his hand held tightly to his hair. His other fist came up to hit his head.
“Shut up. Shut up! SHUT. UP. Please… ”
Midoriya knew he wasn’t talking to him. I really messed up. He turned around and started running back to the classroom to get a teacher, running faster when he heard knees hit the floor.
“All Might! I tried talking to Kacchan because he was being mean. He shoved me to the ground and we started fighting. I just got so angry and I said… I said something I shouldn’t have ever said. I messed up really bad. I’m sorry!” Midoriya was practically sobbing by the end of his ramble.
“Where is he?” All Might asks.
“He’s in the hallway.”
All Might nodded and got up to leave the classroom, but was stopped by a hardened arm.
“I don’t think you should see him right now. You might make things worse,” Kirishima says in a low tone. All Might could see in his face that he was the only one who truly knew what to do. The teacher nods at him to go.
Kirishima ran out of the room. It didn’t take long to find Bakugou, who was surrounded by whispering students that had been passing after he had backed himself into a corner. By now, his sobs were more like wails, broken up by the occasional cough from the lack of oxygen.
“Give him some space!” Kirishima demands. When they make no move, he tries again. “Fucking leave! ” he yells at the crowd. That gets people to start moving.
He kneels in front of his best friend, trying to come up with what to do. Bakugou hadn’t had a meltdown this bad in a while, especially at school. Kirishima places a hand on his shoulder, to which the other boy screams at. He’s in a flashback.
“Katsuki. Follow my voice. You’re not with the League. You’re in UA. You’re safe,” Kirishima reassures in the softest voice possible. Bakugou doesn’t show any sign that he hears him. Tears form in Kirishima’s own eyes at the sight of his best friend in pain. “Katsuki. It’s Kirishima. I’m with you, okay? You’re not with them.” He continues these words until Bakugou eventually looks up with a flash of recognition.
“Kirishima?” he says weakly.
“Yeah,” Kirishima laughs wetly. “Yeah, it’s me.” He makes a decision to try and place a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder again. He knew he made the right one when the other boy melts into his touch. Kirishima pulls Bakugou into a tight embrace, knowing that the pressure helps ground him. He moves so that he’s sitting behind Bakugou, keeping his arms wrapped around him. Kirishima runs a hand through soft blond hair, whispering ‘you’re okay’ into his ear until they can both start to believe it. They stay like that, on the floor of the hallway until the sobs turn to sniffles and his breathing evens out. “You wanna go back to the dorms?”
Bakugou nods. He scoots forward, arms wrapping around himself, so that Kirishima can stand. He takes the hand that is reaching out and lets himself be pulled up. He tries to make himself as small as possible, only finding comfort in the arm Kirishima placed across his back, both to steady him and to keep him present as the two of them make the slow trip back to Heights Alliance. Bakugou realizes he didn’t end up staying present when suddenly he’s in Kirishima’s dorm. He just lets himself be pulled into the Crimson Riot clad bed, familiar hands removing his shoes and his uniform. The bed dips when Kirishima joins him and he falls asleep surrounded by soft blankets and strong arms.
Kirishima pulls out his phone when he gets a notification.
Private Message Between Midoriya Izuku and Kirishima Eijirou
midobro: I’m sorry
He sighs before typing out a response
red riot: I know.