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Gentleman, about thirty-five years of age, seeks wife to join him in Massachusetts. Has one son and is of good family and fortune. Is able to sustain wife comfortably. Wishes for a woman between twenty-five and thirty-five years of age, well-educated, and suited to being a mother. Ready to marry immediately. Respond to 547 Jerome St. Boston, Massachusetts. 

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I passed the next few days very nervously. Indeed, part of me wished the letter had never been sent, but another part of me was so full of excitement at the prospect of moving to the North. I spent many long afternoons wondering if the gentleman had even received my letter, and, if he did, if he was as anxious as I was. Perhaps he had received many letters, and mine would lose any of its originality among the multitude of perfumed stationary. I could not even remember what I had written, which only deepened my anxiety. Would the gentleman reply? That was the only question in my mind.

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They sin who tell us Love can die.
With life all other passions fly,
All others are but vanity.
In Heaven Ambition cannot dwell,
Nor Avarice in the vaults of Hell;
Earthly these passions of the Earth,
They perish where they have their birth;
But Love is indestructible.
Its holy flame for ever burneth,
From Heaven it came, to Heaven returneth;
Too oft on Earth a troubled guest,
At times deceived, at times opprest,
It here is tried and purified,
Then hath in Heaven its perfect rest;
It soweth here with toil and care,
But the harvest time of Love is there.

"Do you really believe that?" My brother dropped the book of poems unceremoniously as he looked up at me. "Indestructible?" I held his gaze for a moment before looking back down at the book that I held between my fingers.
"It is the job of a poet to make things in life look beautiful - even love."
"But love...love is fleeting. Love is a feeling. Is it not?" My brother echoed the same thoughts that had floated through my head so many times before.
"I think that when we speak of love, we speak of a fleeting feeling, but in truth...love is something deeper, though maybe not indestructable." I looked out the window next to me as I spoke. "You simply get the feeling when you have this deep...thing called 'love'. Though when you don't have the feeling of love, you can still truly love someone. Do you not think?" I looked back at my brother and he gave me a thoughtful look before nodding.
"I would agree." Then he turned back to his book of poems and left me to ponder his question more deeply. Poets made love seem like a fairytale, head in the clouds, make-believe feeling that you got if you were really lucky. Love wasn't. Love was something deep within the soul that one could hold towards another human being. It was something I saw between my parents...something I saw between Celeste and Asa...something between even Faramir and Eowyn...something that, over time, could fade away. It was something that I never expected to truly possess. And by choosing the life I had for myself, I didn't think I needed this deep love. I would be taken care of, I did not need this deep...thing. Others may not be able to live without love, but I certainly could.

"Trina, are you dressed?" I turned away from my mirror as I heard my mother's voice at the door.
"Yes, momma." After I spoke, the door opened and my mother stepped in, quickly closing the door after her.
"Mr. Boramir is here and asking to see you." She seemed to be excited, but stopped herself. "You look beautiful, dear."
"Thank you," I replied quickly to the compliment before turning to the real situation at hand. "But why is he here, momma? Please do not say it is for what I think..."
"Well he does look nervous and he did ask to speak to you alone." My mother ran her hands over each other anxiously as she watched my face for a reaction. I let out a moan before dropping my face into my hands. "Oh, my dear," My mother was at my side a moment later and took my hands in hers. "Do not react so! He must not have heard the news of your engagement. Let me go inform him of the fact and you will not have to speak to him." At this suggestion, I gave her a grateful smile.
"Thank you, but I will tell him."
"Are you sure?" Her eyes searched mine and I nodded.
"I am."
"Alright." She reached up to brush a few stray hairs from my face before giving me a tender smile. "I love you, dearest. You're going to make that man up in Boston very happy." I gave a short laugh as I tried to steady my beating heart.
"Thranduil." I spoke the name gently before I smiled. "His name is Thranduil, so we must start referring to him as such."
"Thranduil," my mother repeated before giving a light laugh. "Saying his name makes it more real, my darling, but...you must not keep another gentleman downstairs waiting."
"I won't," I nodded before pressing my lips against my mother's forehead. "Thank you."

I found the gentleman in our drawing room, looking out the window at the vast fields belonging to my father. The doors were closed behind me and I took a step towards Boramir. "Good morning," I started, trying hard to sound cheerful and welcoming.
"Good morning, Miss Trina, how do you find yourself?" He turned from the window and spoke kindly.
"I am well, Mr. Pettle, and yourself?" We were just going through pleasantries now. A necessary, but painful, process, because of how it hid any secret feelings towards the other.
"I did not expect to call this early, you will forgive me." Boramir now spoke quickly as he began to walk the room. "There was not the available moment to speak to you at the picnic, so I must speak now." At this, my mouth opened to stop any kind of proposal that may tumble from his lips, but he continued. "I wish to congratulate you on your recent engagement and upcoming wedding." He turned to look at me, his eyes glancing down to where my hands were clasped, the ring from Thranduil clearly visible. My mouth closed, taken aback at his words and manner. "I'm sure the news was a surprise to many, as it was to me, though nobody could have said they did not expect similar actions from you." He smiled. "You never wanted a normal life, Trina. Nothing I could have offered you."
"Mr. Pettle..."
"I do not think that marrying a stranger from Boston is a wise course of action, but I can wish you only happiness and I know you will find it. Good day, Miss Florence." He then left the room, leaving me stunned in the middle of the floor.

I was reading on the swing on our front porch when I saw Asa walking up the drive. "Good afternoon," I gave my brother-in-law a smile.
"I'm sorry, I don't wish to disturb you," he began timidly.
"You are not a disturbance, Asa," I smiled. "Please, sit."
"Thank you," he spoke gratefully before perching beside me on the edge of the swing. "I will be brief." He inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling. "Celeste and I were speaking of our future and...and what children may be included there." His voice softened here. "And as we talked, I knew that I wanted my children to...I wanted them to see me as..." He sighed before turning to look at me. "I don't want my children to wonder why their grandfather lives in such a large house and why their father...is a simple stable manager. I don't want my children to grow up thinking they will manage the stables when I am gone and that is all that life has for them...I want them to be gentlemen and ladies, sister." This emotional appeal from my brother was so unforeseen, that I nearly forgot who I was speaking to. Indeed, all the words I had ever heard him say in my life did not equal the torrent he had just spoken to me this afternoon.
"And what can I do, Asa?" I asked quietly.
"Celeste...reminds me...that she did not marry me for my position, but for my heart. My children cannot choose their father...no matter the heart." His eyes met mine again and I saw his earnest desire for his children. "I have been thinking of the proposition for many months, and now with your new position...I wish to move North, sister, and get a job. I want to work with my hands, but in the kind of way that can make my family proud. I would ask you to look for a place we could fit in...with your help, I believe I could convince Celeste to leave Georgia."
"And what does she say to this, dear brother?"
"She does not know I am come to speak to you. Until I know this is possible, I do not wish for her to know."
"Asa, the North is a foreign place to me...I know not what I may find. It may be that I find it to be a foul place and wish for nothing more than to return home."
"Then write and tell me it is so," Asa spoke quickly. "But if there is any possibility to make my children's life better, I must try."
"Then...I will do what I can." And with my promise, Asa stood, bowed, and left me alone to ponder his words. His thinking was not extraordinary nor imprudent, but I knew my sister's heart would break to hear what he had just put into my trust. Celeste had no desire to leave her little cottage on our plantation. Unfortunately, Asa's fears of his children's future were not unfounded. Though through Celeste, they may find some grace, being the child of a stable-hand could not get them very far. Asa realized this, and I had to respect his efforts for a better life. I would do no less for my own children. As I pondered this, my mind drifted to images of my sister's children. Celeste had always been fond of children, and it would not be long before news would reach us that she was expecting her first...but I would not be here. No, indeed, I was promised up North where my own son awaited me. I would miss many things once I made the move. I would miss the birth of my nieces and nephews...before long, my brother, Harrison, would find a woman to marry and I would miss watching him fall in love. I looked around me at the plantation where I had spent my entire life. I would miss the changing of the seasons...the planting and sowing...the harvest. What was in Boston that could compete with my life here in Georgia? Yet I must go. My fiance...the strange man behind so many letters...was expecting me...and I could not disappoint.

Miss Florence -

Please do not take my delay in responding to your letter as a sign that I am uninterested in your acquaintance. When my father spoke of your arrival, I was both surprised and very pleased. This pleasure was only deepened with the arrival of your letter. I assure you that I am an ordinary boy. My father is rarely wrong and this instance will prove that to you as well as his mention that you were to be his wife before his proposal was even sent. My father gets what he wants, miss Florence, and I'm sure you will learn that soon enough. As to your question of my interests, while I do enjoy the outdoors, travel does not interest me. I cling to the comforts of home and allow my father to do the traveling for the both of us. Currently, he is in England while I enjoy making the decisions at home, such as what to eat for dinner this afternoon. I assure you that will enjoy the venison pie that I have chosen. Other than eating well, I like to take frequent walks into town and exploring every inch of our large house. I also play the piano, though, as my father says, not well enough to play in good company. I look forward to having more conversations with you after your arrival, so we may get to know each other and be the good friends you spoke of. I pray you have safe travels and good weather.

Sincerely,
Legolas Harland

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The 4th of July went off as any 4th of July ever did. We woke up early, put on our Sunday clothes and bonnets, then climbed into our carriage to make the ride down to our church. Momma walked in on Father's arm, and I walked in next to Harrison. Asa and Celeste joined us as we sat among our tenants and the people who worked on our plantation. We began with a hymn, then we read a passage from the Bible before one of the judges in our area got up and gave a rallying speech about our independence and how hard it was to win nearly fifty years before. I knew the stories of the battles that had been fought on our soil. I knew of all the men who had given their lives so we could sit here in this church today. Both of my grandfathers had fought for independence. One had given his life for his country. We were America-bred and born. It was a pride of us Southerners. We were born on this soil and we would treasure this soil. Up North was where people were more likely to immigrate and settle. Some from England, some from Ireland, or other countries in Europe. They were not born and bred here, and there were some who said that simply carried the name "American" and did not earn it like our grandfathers had done so many years before. The sermon was definitely rousing, though once it passed the hour-mark, I began to hear the people get restless. The sunshine was calling to us from outside and the sooner we left the church, the sooner the festivities could really begin. There was to be a large picnic on our front lawn this afternoon and we all wanted it to begin. Finally, the good judge decided it was time to quit, and we were dismissed with a prayer for our country. 

Even though I began getting ready the moment we reentered the house, I knew it would be over an hour before I could again emerge from my room. Time enough for the servants to get the food ready. My hair had been pulled back and my curls had been piled on the back of my head for church, but now they were unceremoniously tugged out of place and arranged around my face. One of the servants' daughters was ordered to pick some fresh flowers from outside and she came back with a some lovely daisies which were added to my blonde ringlets. I was then pushed and prodded into my frilly yellow dress and white boots. A string of pearls were looped around my neck and matching earrings were slid into my ears. I watched as a pearl bracelet from my father was wrapped around my wrist, then my eyes drifted to the large ring on the fourth finger of my left hand. The ruby would shine brightly in the sun today. Though the heat would be unbearable outside, I was given a pair of white gloves and a light shawl, "should it get chilly." Then I was let go and joined my father as he walked downstairs. Groups of people had already gathered outside and I was not surprised to see my brother caught up in a group of young ladies. Felicia was among them, eagerly watching his every move. Celeste met me by the door, dressed in a lovely lilac-colored gown. We walked down the steps from the porch and I watched a few young men who I had known nearly all my life, run past me. I called out a greeting and they gave me a quick wave before running to meet a few of the young ladies who were just arriving. "Do you miss it?" Celeste asked.
"Miss what?" I turned to her and noticed the mischievous glint in her eye.
"The boys all know that you are taken...so they do not spend much time on you."
"Oh, Celeste," I laughed. "I would much rather they spent their time on the ladies who care for their attention."
"But you must miss it a little," Celeste pressed.
"I do not miss the attention, dear sister. I understand that since my engagement, they must see me differently. It is well that they should." 

Not all of the young men had such good sense. Greyson Addler, a young man of good fortune, found me alone later that afternoon, and took the opportunity he saw. "And how are you, Miss Florence?" He raised his eyebrows at me as a cocky grin spread across his face. "I've missed our conversations."
"Conversations?" I asked in a surprised tone. "I did not know you were one to enjoy conversation, Mr. Addler." I received a laugh for my comment.
"You're right, Trina," He took a step closer. "We both know that I'm more for actions than words."
"And I would pray you take your actions elsewhere, Mr. Addler," I said firmly. "You will find no interest here."
"That ring on your finger does not scare me. That old and fat man up North cannot threaten me."
"He exclusive right to me should threaten you, Greyson," My voice was now filling with disgust. "You may not respect him, but respect my decision to become his wife."
"Exclusive right," he laughed before stepping forward and running his finger down my cheek. I shoved his hand away as I took my final step back and found myself against a large tree. "Naivety has always been in your nature Trina. He may have exclusive right to you, but do not think you have exclusive rights to him." And with that he left me alone with only his foul breath in the air.

Then it was the night before my departure and I was placing my books into one of the half-packed trunks. Celeste was sitting on my bed putting my jewelry in order. "Are you scared?" She asked, her eyes moving over to my steady expression.
"I do not know," I offered her a small smile before returning to my task. "I do not know what I am feeling."
"Then I believe you are scared," she smiled. "At least you will have Harrison with you on the trip to Philadelphia."
"Harrison could not be pulled away from the chance to travel."
"And he will be a help to you." Celeste moved from the bed onto the floor beside me and lay her head on my shoulder. "You will be much missed, Trina, but I can't wait to read all of your exciting letters of your many adventures."
"If I have time to write any among those many adventures." I smiled at her excitement.
"How soon will you be married upon your arrival, do you think?" She mused.
"I do not know," I told her truthfully. "Thranduil has not mentioned a date, but it will not be long, I think. I cannot stay under his roof as an unmarried woman for long."
"Oh I wish I could see you!" She sat up and took my hand in hers. "You will be such a beautiful bride, my dear."
"I don't believe I shall put much effort into it, Celeste," I smiled, "but I thank you."
"Just imagine..." Now her eyes twinkled with fun. "My little sister a married woman!" She kissed my cheek then jumped up and sat back on the bed to finish her sorting of the jewelry. I smiled to myself, but my smile did not take long to fade. Marriage was a serious business, and it was exactly what I was about to jump into.

The last of the trunks were packed and I was now standing in the middle of my room staring at all the places my belongings used to be. The early morning light was peaking in through the curtains and the last of the candles had been blown out as the sun continued to rise. I heard the sound of horses hooves on the ground below and a moment later, my mother was slipping her hand into mine. "The carriage is here," she said softly. We had eaten a small breakfast together that morning, then everything had been brought downstairs and now would be loaded onto the carriage, then I would be off. I turned and gave my mother a small smile before turning with her to walk downstairs for the last time. Celeste met me at the bottom of the stairs and wrapped her arms around my neck. She did not cry, neither did I, we simply stood in silence for a moment, tightly clinging to each other. Then she gave me up to my father who held me a moment before caressing my cheek. My mother was last to say goodbye and her hug was the longest. Then Harrison was taking my arm and we were walking outside and climbing into the carriage as my parents gave us separate lines of advice.
"Don't travel while it's dark."
"Make sure you eat enough, dear."
"Give my name at the inn."
"Write the moment you reach Philadelphia."
And I was nodding while my knuckles grew white from gripping my brother's hand. The last 'I love you's were said and the carriage began to pick up speed. I took a deep breath then slowly exhaled. Harrison moved his arm around me and I settled into his side as my mind tried to comprehend the change I was about to accept. Then it hit me, and I pulled away from my brother to lean out the window and watch my house, the place I had grown up, fade into the distance. I was leaving the only home I had ever known and going to a place I had only heard negative things about to marry a man I had never met. Deep down I knew it was right, but in this moment, all I felt was fear.

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The six-day journey to Philadelphia was overwhelming. The most time I had spent in a carriage was less than half a day before this long journey. There was not much to do besides read, talk, or sleep. Harrison seemed most inclined to the ladder, so that left me to my books or staring out of the window at the countryside. We would stop every few hours, though the stops never seemed to last long enough and soon my legs ached from the constant sitting.
"Why is it you love travel, brother?" I asked Harrison as we climbed into the carriage once again.
"All the places we get to see! We have already gotten to see many towns neither of us knew existed!" His excitement annoyed me and I sat down in frustration, trying to stretch as much as I could before the bumpy carriage took off again.

Richmond, Virginia was my favorite stop and that was where I got my first taste of why Harrison loved to travel. Seeing the beautiful houses lining the streets and all the people so happy in this large city...it was something to make one feel alive. I had never been in such a big city. We stopped in the city while the sun was still high in the sky and was able to spend the afternoon exploring. Richmond rested on the banks of the James River and I begged Harrison to let us walk along the bank for just a little while before finding a place to eat for dinner. We were then treated to a feast at the tavern we would spend the night at, and sat down at a long wooden table with many other guests. At first I was nervous to be sitting down on the same bench with strangers whose status was so decidedly below my own, but Harrison seemed to hold no qualms, so I took my seat next to him. One of the louder of the guests stood up and offered a prayer, then we dug in to a meal of roast chicken and vegetables with as much fresh-baked bread as you could eat. Harrison struck up a conversation with the businessman sitting across from us and I was content to hear their conversation without having my own. The man sitting on my other side seemed very interested in my ring and finally made a mention of it.
"Is the lady married?" He asked in a rough Northern accent.
"Engaged," I corrected him before returning to my meal. I did not wish to be rude, but we had not been introduced and my brother was no part of the conversation.
"Is that the gentleman beside the lady?" He persisted in speaking to me, and I did not wish to ignore him. I simply moved my hand to my brother's arm as I replied, to alert him of the situation.
"My brother, Harrison Florence."
"Nice to meet you, sir." Harrison leaned over to offer the man his hand, but he was ignored.
"Where be you traveling to?"
"Philadelphia." Harrison answered for me.
"Ahh." The man made notice of my brother for the first time, giving him a nod before finally returning to his food. Harrison then introduced me to the businessman whom he had been speaking to and kept me in the conversation, so no one else could speak to me without his knowledge.

Then we reached Philadelphia. The city was overflowing with life and I had never seen so many shops in my life. Harrison amused himself with showing off his knowledge of where the best shops to get good fabric were. He then proceeded to try to convince me that he knew a great deal about the fabrics he chose. This was coming from the man who once brought home velvet and insisted that mother have it made into a summer dress.
"This orange color, Trina." Harrison motioned towards a rougher-looking orange fabric decorated with daisies.
"No, brother. I look awful in orange," I laughed.
"But it has your favorite flowers on it!"
"Alas, that is not enough to make me look beautiful."
"No, no, I will not accept rejection." He threw the fabric around my shoulders as I laughed and tried to shove him away. "You look stunning, dear sister."
"No, I do not!" I shook my head as I pushed him away. "Stick to traveling brother, but do not ever become a merchant."
"I'm deeply hurt," he said playfully before putting the fabric back and kissing my cheek. I would miss our little moments like this. Harrison had been by my side all my life and leaving him would be the hardest. But no, I could not think of that now. That could be put off a day or two.

We visited every shop we could and by the end of it, had a few more sizable trunks filled with fabric, patterns, shoes, and hats. Harrison insisted that I didn't need this much, but I reminded him that my future husband was a man of status and that meant parties and trips to the theater. My mother could rest in the knowledge that I would at least be keeping up the latest fashion in Boston. And that very last night together I threaded my arm through my brother's and we walked down the streets one last time. We then stayed up most of the night talking. I spoke about everything I hoped my new life in Boston would be. He spoke about everything he wanted to do with his life. And we both spoke about how scared we were.

I wrapped my arms around my brother's neck, but it didn't seem like it was enough. He was holding me tightly, but how could we say goodbye? I felt the tears start to sting my eyes, but I pushed them down. I would not cry here. Not when I had chosen this.
"I'll come see you." Those were his words of assurance.
"And I'll write."
"About everything," was his reply. Then we had to pull apart and he held onto my hand as we walked over to the carriage. My legs didn't want to move from his side, but I forced myself to climb up into the carriage. He closed the door, but I leaned out and pulled him into one last hug. He kissed me, then stepped back. When he was no longer in view, I sat back against the cushions in the carriage and felt the most pain I had felt in my life. I had been able to ignore the fact that I would be alone, as long as he was by my side, but now he was gone. I had chosen to do this strange thing, and I would do it without anyone else by my side. I leaned my head against the side of the carriage and closed my eyes, hoping sleep would overcome me soon, for sleep would be the only reprieve from my sadness. I would travel for the next three days like this, in and out of sleep, but I would reach my destination and my new life.

I was pulled from my sleep by the jerking motion of the carriage as it slowed, then finally stopped. I heard sounds of footsteps, but it was pitch black outside and I could only see the faint glowing of dim lights. I tried to fully regain my consciousness, but the journey had caused my whole body to ache and crave rest. Then I heard voices communicating about the moving of my trunks and the placement of the carriage. Then there was a louder voice above them all, ordering them out of the way, then the carriage door was pulled open and a lantern was shoved in, lighting up the face of the one holding it. In my sleepy haze, I saw a man. His features were soft, though deep lines highlighted his brow and mouth. His eyebrows were dark and thick, making him look sterner than I thought he really was. His hair was light-colored and fell down past his shoulders in a straight line. "Trina Florence?" His voice was loud and commanding. I could not say anything, but took the large hand he extended out to me. He did not speak again, but helped me down from the dusky carriage. He was not unkind, but his hands were harsh. When my feet hit the ground, I almost collapsed, for I had not stood for many hours, but the man beside me caught me and when I looked up at him, I saw concern lining his eyes. He called out to one of the servants, then passed the lantern to them before reaching down and picking me up in one swift motion. It was then I realized how tall this man was. A full head taller than Harrison, at least. My drowsiness consumed me again and I relaxed in this stranger's arms, not realizing I had wrapped mine around his neck. My head was resting against his shoulder and I drifted in and out of sleep as he walked into the house, then up a flight of stairs, and suddenly I was being placed onto a large bed, and when I opened my eyes the man was gone and a servant was busily taking off my hat and coat. There was more light in this room and I forced myself to sit up and look around, even if for just a moment.
"Is this the house?" The only words I could get out.
"Yes, ma'am. It's just after midnight and you've reached the Harland House."
"And Thranduil?" My mind suddenly leapt to my host.
"Yes ma'am. Master Harland was the one to carry you upstairs, ma'am. You'll speak to him more tomorrow. Now let's get you dressed so you can get to sleep."
As I undressed, my mind tried to make sense of the circumstances. I remembered saying goodbye to Harrison, then the riding...the endless riding in that carriage...then we stopped for the night..then another night...then another day of traveling...and here we were in this large house. I finally was able to slide into the incredibly large bed and the servant blew out the candles, leaving me again in the dark. I wanted to think over the events of the evening, but sleep overtook me again and I slept.

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Tiny angels. The first sight my eyes saw when I opened them the next morning was tiny angels embroidered onto a cream-colored fabric above the bed I found myself in. I blinked, then opened my eyes wider to take in my surroundings. The curtains that covered one of the windows had been pulled back to reveal the bedroom I had spent the night in. The room was large and filled with dark-colored furniture with deep red fabric. My trunks were stacked on one side of the room and I saw the dress I had worn the day before slung over an arm chair. I finally pulled myself into a sitting position and stretched before slowly sliding out of the bed. I  pulled back the red curtains that hung over the window beside my bed and the strong sunlight blinded me for a moment. When my eyes got used to it, I was able to look down at the bustling street below. It surprised me for a moment, for I was not used to living so close to a street. If I looked out of the windows in my bedroom in Georgia, I would see nothing but acres and acres of fields. Two stories below, carriages were rushing past the house and people were yelling to each other as they ran to wherever they were going. It was maddening. My eyes then drifted to across the street where I saw another row of houses that I could only guess were identical to my own. All of the new sights were too much to handle and I immediately pulled the curtains closed again as I took a step back. There was a light tap at the door and a servant bearing a breakfast tray entered the room where I was standing.
"Morning, ma'am," she said politely. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," I replied in a stiff voice. My mind was racing and I was unable to think.
"Master Harland thought you may wish to spend the morning recovering from your travels, so he had your breakfast brought up and said that he will see you at lunch."
"What time is it?"
"Almost 10:00, ma'am. Lunch will be served at 2:00." She then curtseyed before leaving me to my very large breakfast. I sank down onto the bed and tried to swallow the immense feeling of loneliness that then overcame me. I was sitting in a large house that overlooked a busy street in the middle of a large city I had never been to, and I knew no one within four hundred miles. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs, resting my cheek against my knees. In just a few moments I would be okay, but for right now, I was alone.

I took a deep breath before pulling my bedroom door open. The hallway beyond was utterly silent. Eerily so. I stepped out of my room, the heel of my shoe making a click that echoed a little too loudly. I slowly slid the door shut behind me, before looking up and down the hall. I then determined which way was more likely to bring me to the main staircase and began my journey in that direction. A servant had come after breakfast and helped me bathe, then dressed me in a lavender-colored dress with a tight waist and large skirt. My hair had been pulled up with a comb, allowing my curls to fall to my neck. I had hesitated before placing my engagement ring onto my finger, nervous of meeting him for the first time with it on, but there was no reason not to wear it. I finally reached the top of a long staircase that led down to the large entry hall. It was in the hall that I began to hear strains of music. Someone was playing very well on a piano in one of the rooms nearby. I followed the music down a side hallway and through the formal dining room to reach what I could only imagine was the drawing room. When I stepped into the room, I found a man sitting with his back facing me, his fingers dancing across the keys on the piano before him. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up, allowing him more freedom of movement. His most prominent feature was the long blonde hair that was pulled back in a queue, but still fell past his neck and down his vest. The long hair reminded me of the man who carried me upstairs last night and I immediately imagined that this must be the gentleman. As soon as I reached this conclusion, the music had ended and he was pulling his fingers from the keys. I knew I had to make my presence known or be accused of lingering too long.
"You play very well," was all I could think of to say. The gentleman then turned around to reveal the face of a young man, around age eighteen, with soft features and eyes that were very bright. I was mistaken in thinking this was my host.
"You must be Miss Florence," the young man spoke as he rose from the bench and gave a low bow. "I am Legolas Harland, Thranduil Harland's son." I curtseyed gently.
"I did not mean to startle you, Legolas. I heard your playing and wished to see who had such talent."
"I assure you," Legolas smiled. "I do not have the talent you speak of. I only play when there is no one around to hear me."
"Well I hope you do not mind if I enjoy your playing." I smiled and he gave me a small nod. "Is your father at home?" This was my way of asking where he was, so we could meet in an official way instead of him carrying me to my room.
"He is not." Legolas's reply surprised me. "He is gone for the morning, but said he would return in time for lunch."
"Oh," I said awkwardly. Now I was left in a strange house with only the son of the man I would marry.
"Have you seen the house?" Legolas asked suddenly.
"No, I only just left my room."
"Then...may I show you?" He offered. His suggestion was a welcome one and I nodded my assent.

As Legolas led me from one room to another, I began to realize just how wealthy this family was. In a row of identical houses, they lived in the largest and most grand of them all. They had two drawing rooms, one on the first floor, and another on the second. Legolas pointed out that this detail was especially envied. They had their formal dining room on the first floor also, as well as the kitchen and a small sitting room. The second floor held the drawing room on one side, and my bedroom on the other. Legolas informed me that Thranduil's room was also on this floor, as well as our guest bedroom. The third floor was where all the servants rooms were located, and the largest bedroom up there belonged to Legolas himself. As we walked back downstairs, we passed my room, and Legolas commented on the amount of trunks that were being unpacked.
"I have a lot of clothes," I informed him. "I also picked up many fabrics in Philadelphia which will be made into dresses."
"Do you know what dressmaker you will use?" Suddenly, his tone had grown excited and his eyes widened.
"Well, no..."
"May I make a suggestion?"
"You may." I could not keep from smiling.
"Mary Faleen is the best dressmaker in Boston."
"Then I shall be happy to pay her a visit. Thank you, Legolas."
"You're welcome." He suddenly seemed shy and embarrassed at his eagerness. "You may think me strange, Miss Florence, but I know the best shops in town."
"And I am happy to accept your suggestion, Legolas," I replied sincerely, wishing to ease his mind. The boy before me was young and rather brash, this was easy to see, but he also had a gentle side, the side that so expertly played Bach this morning. Though he was only a few years my junior, I looked forward to being a great friend to this boy, and perhaps the mother-figure he needed.

Lunchtime was nearly upon us, and Legolas and I had seated ourselves in the front sitting room, when one of the servants came in with a message for Legolas. The young boy took the slip of paper that was given him, and, upon perusing it, handed it back with a slight air of disgust.
"My father says that business will take him away from us for a few hours longer, Miss Florence. He sends his regrets." The words were not spoken with the respect I would have deemed appropriate in reference to his father, but I did not question him on it.
"Oh," I simply commented. "Then perhaps you would take me to meet Miss Faleen this afternoon. I wish to have my dresses started as soon as possible." Legolas agreed to this idea and we decided to sit down to lunch, and would head out immediately after.

"I don't know if I could ever get used to Boston," I remarked in a nervous tone as another carriage charged past us at top speed. Legolas's speed did not vary, and he smiled at my caution.
"I cannot imagine moving into such a different environment, Miss Florence. You are brave for attempting it."
"I would not call myself brave, but I thank you," I smiled as I stepped closer to the buildings on our side and farther away from the street. "Everything is very new and I feel very out of place here."
"It will not take you long to get to know the city," Legolas reassured me. "Boston is an exciting place to be."
"You must think so, for I remember you do not love to travel."
"Not at all," Legolas shook his head. "I enjoy the comforts of home too well, Miss Florence."
"And you spend much of your time at home?"
"I do," He nodded. "Father does not enjoy home as well as I, so I have much time to myself to practice my piano, or read, or anything else I find to amuse myself."
"Do you go out much in the evenings? To parties, or the theater?"
"Father does, and I will go with him on occasion. If you enjoy such things, you will find many to attend."
"I admit, I do enjoy going out to parties and such things, though I am sure they would be much different here than at home."
"You will see, soon enough." Legolas's strides turned down a smaller side street and I followed him quickly, eager to distance myself from the main road. A few minutes longer and we were at Miss Faleen's shop. It was small, and not a busy-looking shop, but I was not about to question Legolas's choice. We stepped inside and were immediately greeted by a pretty girl in plain clothes, whose age was about my own. Legolas introduced her as the owner of the shop, Mary Faleen. "Miss Faleen, this is Miss Trina Florence, my father's fiance." I wasn't sure how to take his address, though it was not as if there was no truth in it. I took the hand that Mary extended as she offered me a smile.
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Florence. I have heard of your arrival and am pleased you have come to my shop. How may I be of assistance?"
"I purchased many patterns and fabrics in Philadelphia and wish to have them made into dresses. Legolas was quick to mention that you were the best dressmaker in Boston."
"Legolas flatters me," Mary said gently. I turned to Legolas, who smiled, then told me he would leave me in Mary's hands, and would pick me up in about half an hour. The plan was not entirely to my liking, but I could not deny him the few minutes of freedom. "Now, perhaps you have brought some of the patterns with you?" I retrieved the patterns from my purse and spent the next half an hour discussing them with Mary. She was a very sweet girl, who seemed a capable seamstress. In Georgia, I would never have been able to find a young woman with her own shop, so Mary was a pleasant surprise in every way. When Legolas returned, I was ready to leave and bade Mary goodbye. She congratulated me on my upcoming wedding before we left the shop, giving me a question to ask young Legolas on our walk home.
"Legolas, is the lady a great friend, or does everyone know of my arrival?"
"My father has many friends, Miss Florence, and you would be hard-pressed to find someone in this city who did not know that a young lady from Georgia was traveling here to marry him."

I had dressed so carefully that morning because I thought I would be meeting him for the first time, but now I must dress for dinner, and again, the anxiety over what to wear came over me. I finally decided on a long white gown that slid to the floor without a large skirt. It was much more a Northern style, than a Southern one, and I hoped he would appreciate my effort at his culture. Again, the ring decorated my finger as I left my room, and as I started down the stairs, the door opened, and my host entered the house. He immediately began to pull off his large, dark coat and gloves, before his eyes met mine.
"You must think me very rude, Miss Florence, for making you wait so long on the first day of your stay with us."
"I assure you, Mr. Harland, I understand the unpredictability of business."
"Then I must thank you for your graciousness." He had finished taking off his outer garments and now stood before me in a dark brown suit with a maroon-colored waistcoat. He was tall, just as I remembered, and his face looked as one that could become angry at any moment if you were not careful. "You will forgive me, Miss Florence, if I keep you waiting a moment longer while I change for dinner."
"Not at all." At my word of approval, he started up the stairs to his bedroom and I walked into the drawing room where Legolas was waiting. I was rather speechless after my first real encounter with the man who was to be my husband. Thankfully, Legolas was not inclined to conversation, and we sat in silence until Thranduil rejoined us.
"Miss Florence," he spoke my name resolutely as he extended his hand, and I took his arm as we walked in to dinner.

Chapter Text

Immediately after dinner, Legolas excused himself to his room, and Thranduil invited me into the drawing room. I allowed him to lead me into the room, then seated myself on the couch while he sat in a large chair before the fireplace. His eyes perused me in silence for a few moments, making me feel very conscious of my appearance. I folded and unfolded my hands anxiously until he spoke.
"The dress suits you very well, Trina." It was the first time he had addressed me by just my first name. "You look very pretty."
"Thank you," I said softly.
"I have made all the arrangements for the ceremony," Thranduil spoke casually about our wedding as he leaned back in his chair and turned his eyes to the fire. "I hope you are an early riser."
"I am."
"Then it is settled." He looked back over at me and I noticed for the first time that his eyes were a blue-ish grey color, and seemed to be a wall to everything that was inside. "We will marry early tomorrow. Can you be ready by seven?"
"Tomorrow morning?" My shock must have shown in my voice, but the emotion on his face did not change.
"Is it too early?" The question was put in such a way that if I disagreed with his plans, I would come across as rude.
"No," I spoke steadily. "I will be ready at seven."
"Good." He turned back to the fire and sat in silence for a few moments before speaking again. "After the ceremony, we will be going out, so we will only come back for a few moments to allow you to change. Then in the evening we will have a small reception." Everything he was saying, he said as fact. I was never given a chance to disagree with any of it. A few questions buzzed through my mind, but even speaking them seemed unacceptable. "Is there anything you wish to say?" I was thankful for the question, and gave him the reply that mattered most to me at the moment.
"Will Legolas attend the wedding?"
"I do not believe he would wish to attend." The answer saddened me, and Thranduil must have noticed it. "Do you wish him to attend? I will command it, if it will make you happy."
"No," I spoke quickly, wishing to avoid Thranduil ordering Legolas to do anything, though I wasn't sure Legolas would comply even then. "If he does not wish to come, he should not be made to come. Perhaps you would not mind if I asked him?"
"Do as you wish," Thranduil spoke calmly.
"We got along so well today..." The words began to pour from my mouth and I hoped he wouldn't mind me speaking of our day together. "I would enjoy his...support." How could I put into words that I wished Legolas to approve of my wedding to his father? He had never spoken against it, but I did not know his direct opinion on the matter.
"I do not see how it much matters." Thranduil's response was one that I expected. "What did you do today?" It did not seem as much a question as it seemed an order to tell him.
"He showed me the house..."
"And what did you think?" He interrupted, but seemed interested in my response.
"I think it is a very lovely house. It has a good deal of space." Truth be told, it seemed nothing more than a big, empty house to me at the moment, but who was to say that I would not come to love it?
"And your room? Is it acceptable?"
"It is, thank you. Legolas told me you gave me the largest room in the house and I would thank you for that also."
"I have no need for the space, and I expected you to bring many belongings from Georgia."
"And as you can see, I did." I smiled, but my smile was not returned.
"What else did you do today?" Another order.
"I brought some fabrics from Philadelphia to be made into dresses and Legolas brought me to a dressmaker."
"I hope you will have them made up in recent styles." The comment surprised me, but I assured him that they would be. "What shop did he take you to?"
"Mary Faleen's shop."
"Mary..." He thought for a moment, then his face grew very unhappy. "Legolas took you to Mary Faleen's shop? No, your dresses cannot be made there. The shop is in the worst part of town and she is not experienced enough to deal with your clothes. I will take you to a different dressmaker, myself." His whole tone surprised me greatly and I was not impressed with his attitude towards my new friend.
"If you do not mind, I am very happy with Mary," I said firmly. "She seemed very capable of the work I need done and there is no need for another seamstress." At my response, Thranduil opened his mouth to say something, then paused before seeming to change his mind.
"If you wish," was all he said before falling silent. It was easy to see he did not approve of my choice, but I did not have to give in to him in this matter. We were not married yet.

My light tap on Legolas's door was answered with the permission to enter, so I opened the door to find Legolas sitting at his desk, having let down his hair and removed his vest, writing in a small book. He turned towards me as I stepped into the room and stood once he saw it was I. I motioned for him to sit again as I closed the door behind me.
"I don't mean to disturb you."
"What is it, Miss Florence?"
"I was just talking to your father..." The change of expression on his face at the mention of that man was enough for me to know what the answer would be. "He informed me that we're getting married early tomorrow morning."
"Yes, he informed me," he spoke stiffly.
"Would you...will you be here when we get back?"
"My father has informed me that I will be attending your reception tomorrow evening."
"And...you won't be there at the wedding...will you?" I finally got the words out.
"No, I won't."
"Alright then." I tried to smile. "I'm sorry for interrupting your writing. Goodnight." I stepped back into the dark hallway and closed his door, then made my way back to my bedroom. It was right after I had been dressed for bed that I noticed the door. On the other side of my room, behind a little sitting area I had, there was a large door which did not lead out into the hallway. I realized that the door must lead into Thranduil's room. This sudden knowledge made me nervous for some reason. I quickly brushed off my immature notions and climbed into bed, bidding my servant goodnight. I need not worry about anything on the other side of that door.

The sun was only just starting to rise when I was woken up by my servant. I was brought a small breakfast, which I ate quickly while my servant picked out a few dresses for me to choose from. I had only a few white dresses, but I knew that I wished to wear the expensive material for a day that was so important. I finally chose a white silk dress with short sleeves and lace decorating the neckline. The dress was decorated with small blue flowers that had been meticulously embroidered into the skirt. I let my servant put my hair up, then carefully removed my engagement ring before pulling on white gloves that reached my elbows. The ring was placed into its case and left by my bed to be retrieved right after the wedding. A white bonnet with a blue ribbon was placed onto my head and secured under my chin, then I stepped into my small white boots and they were laced up. I stood before my mirror, looking over the outfit that I had decided to marry a total stranger in. Inside my head, I began to write a letter to my mother and sister, describing what I was wearing, so they could picture the day as vividly as if they had been here. But seven o'clock was nearly upon us, and I walked downstairs to the entry hallway to find Thranduil already waiting for me. He was dressed in a gray suit, his long silver hair falling past his shoulders. His eyes ran from my shoes up to my face as I made my way down the stairs and after a moment, I could tell he was satisfied with my attire. He didn't speak, but he offered me his hand and I accepted it, allowing him to pass my arm through his, resting my fingers gently on his, before we walked out the front door. At the bottom of the front steps in front of the carriage that awaited us was when he spoke for the first time that morning.
"Are you ready?" He asked in a tone that could be taken as one filled with concern, or one that cared little for a reply. I nodded and his response was to help me into the carriage, following me a moment later and taking the seat beside me. Then he tapped the roof of the carriage and we pulled away.

The pastor's words fell on my deaf ears and it was all I could do to not turn and stare at the man standing beside me. The only sound I heard was my own breathing, and I felt that it must be filling the whole room. Beside me, Thranduil kept a firm, but not harsh, grip on my hand. Behind us, there were two members of the city counsel who would serve as our witnesses. That was it. The rest of the church was completely empty. My mind shifted again to Thranduil. What was going on in his head at this moment? I turned my head just enough to glance up at his face and I saw him looking steadily at the pastor. He bore no real expression, but looked as if he were listening intently. Then suddenly, I was repeating the words the preacher was saying...then Thranduil was promising to always protect me and never leave me.
"Do you take this man as your husband?"
"I do."
"Do you take this woman as your wife?"
"I do."
Then the rings were being exchanged, and a gold band was slid onto the fourth finger of my left hand. The pastor said something about being allowed to kiss if we wish, and that was when everything came to a slamming reality. Thranduil and I turned to face each other and now the sound of my heart beating grew louder than my breathing. He put one hand against my face, then leaned down and pressed his lips against my other cheek. And that was it. We were walking out of the church as a married couple.

It wasn't until I was standing in the middle of my room, back at Thranduil's house, that I actually realized what had happened. I slowly slid my ruby engagement ring onto my finger next to my wedding ring, then slowly got undressed. It was a new reality that I would just have to accept. It was just hard to imagine that I was now standing here as a married woman when just a few weeks ago I had been sitting on my front porch in Georgia. A million thoughts crashed through my head as I was dressed in a light blue dress that was very tight up top, emphasizing my small waist, then flared out below, though still kept the fabric close to my skin. I then walked back downstairs in silence and Thranduil again offered me his hand, then threaded my arm through his. He was entirely silent as we rode down the street in the carriage, though his air was not one that was nervous or regretful in any way. He simply didn't see the need to speak to me.

We finally stopped in front of a very large white house and I followed Thranduil to the door, where he knocked and was admitted without question. We were led into a very large sitting room and I looked around at the excessive decor and expensive fabrics. Then I noticed a woman. Her back was to us, as she lay reclining on a large chair. She wore a white silk dress that covered her legs and feet. Small diamond stones were sewn into the fabric on the back of her dress, as if anything else was needed to show off her obvious wealth. She had curly blonde hair that was short, which was unexpected to me. Long hair had always been hailed as a thing of beauty. Nothing adorned her hair, instead she wore it down, which was also unexpected. Thranduil walked to the middle of the room and I followed, stopping just a few feet behind him.
"Good morning." He spoke suddenly. "I was told you were expecting me." His words rang out into the silent room and gained him a reaction. Suddenly the woman's back straightened and she sat up just enough that she could turn and look at us. She was beautiful in every sense of the word, though her age was far above my own. Then I realized her eyes...they matched those of the man I stood beside.
"I was." She spoke firmly before slowly moving into a full sitting position and turning to face us fully. "This must be her."
"Yes." Thranduil reached behind him and I gave him my hand. He pulled me to his side then his large hand moved to my back. "This is Trina. Trina, this is my mother, Julia Harland."

Chapter Text

"Trina." The sound of the woman's voice filled the room as she slowly stood. Her eyes looked me over as she walked around the chair and towards her son and his new wife. "You're prettier than I imagined." Her white hand reached out and her fingertips touched one of the curls that had fallen onto my forehead. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-five." I spoke resolutely, trying to keep my voice steady, though I was incredibly nervous at this unexpected meeting.
"So old and yet today is your wedding day?" She gave a light laugh. "Tell me, why have you not already married one of your Southern gentlemen?"
"I knew I would not be happy there." My answer sounded so selfish, so ignorant, so childish. Yet it was the truth, was it not?
"And will you be happy here?" Julia's smile turned into a condescending one.
"I believe I could try."
"Good." Julia's harsh eyes now looked at her son. "I am not disappointed. I hope everything is as you would wish it."
"It is," Thranduil's tone matched his mother's. Julia then looked once again with me, her face now welcoming and her tone warm.
"We hope you will do very well here, Trina." She then went back to the chair we had disturbed her from and sat down as we heard running feet and turned to see a young woman with wild red hair enter the room and stop at the sight of Thranduil and myself. She was about Legolas's age with bright eyes and a wrinkled green gown. Her appearance did not fit her surroundings and I was confused at her entrance.
"Trina, this is Tauriel Drummand, my ward." Julia cleared up some of the confusion as Thranduil led me to a small couch across from his mother and we sat down. Tauriel gave us a short curtsy, her eyes going from Thranduil to me as a smile began to form on her lips.
"Is this your new wife, Thranduil?" She spoke boldly, her voice ringing out with a strong Scottish accent, sparking a slight reaction from her guardian.
"Yes, Tauriel, this is Trina." Thranduil seemed unphased by anything that had passed in the short interaction.
"She's a pretty one." The girl's smile continued to grow. "Far prettier than any of the northern girls."
"Tauriel, why speak in such a crass way?" Julia finally ended the short conversation between son and ward. "You've met the girl, now run off and get yourself cleaned up for the reception tonight. You shouldn't greet company in that attire." Julia's tone was dismissive, but Tauriel simply curtsied, gave Thranduil and I one last grin, then ran out of the room.
"Her grandparents were friends of my mother's parents and once her unfortunate parents both died, it was left to my mother to bring her up." Thranduil explained. He spoke as if Tauriel was charity, nothing more. Indeed, it did not surprise me that this rich, cold woman could care much for a child that was not her own. For one brief moment, my thoughts turned to Legolas, the son I now had, and the love I knew I could have for him.
"Yes, well, breath need not be wasted on her." Julia said with a smile.
"Is she old enough to be out?" I asked simply. Legolas must already be out in society and I assumed Tauriel must be the same. In response, Julia gave a light laugh.
"She could never fit into polite society, so I allow her to do as she pleases," she said with a smile. Then, as if I may not understand, she clarified. "I am not going to introduce her to society, Trina. She will stay with me until I can find her a good position as a governess or somewhere in a shop, perhaps. Or maybe I shall just keep her until I am dead." This idea was followed by a high-pitched laugh. My mistake for thinking a ward could be treated the same as a daughter. In the South, they would be. In the South, we would not treat our servants as this woman treated the poor Scottish girl.

After spending the afternoon with Thranduil's mother, we went to our wedding reception at one of the meeting halls in town. The room was filled with unfamiliar faces and all I could do was stick close to my new husband's side. Everyone's eyes seemed turned on us. The men's eyes narrowed as if immediately disapproving, and the women looked me up and down before whispering to their neighbors. I felt vulnerable, but if this was my new life, then so be it. Thranduil seemed unfazed. He simply joined a small group by the door and shook the men's hands, asking how they were and how business was going. He introduced me simply as 'Trina Harland' and I let them take my hand, knowing I couldn't possibly remember any of their names in my current state of mind. But I plastered a smile on my face and tried very hard to focus on the conversation so I could make appropriate responses as my husband spoke. I knew he was keeping me right by his side even though he wasn't touching me at all. Everybody seemed interested in the fact that I was there, but nobody seemed one bit interested in who I was. Then the band began to play and Thranduil was taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor. This filled me with panic for a moment, for I did not know if the dances he knew were the same ones I knew, but we began slow and the waltz was an easy one to learn. I appreciated his patience, then I realized that he was not making sure I could learn the steps for myself, but rather so he wouldn't look bad in front of the people of his city.

But of course he had to leave my side at some point. I was left near a group of ladies as he stepped outside for a moment to speak to one of the men who had just come in. I found myself twisting the new ring on my finger as I accidentally overheard the conversation next to me.
"But the English lady was lovely."
"She was, my dear. Such a tragedy what happened to the sister."
"Oh true, true. But I thought the lady would come back before this! To stay so long in such a far away place."
"England is not too far. But yes, she should have come. Perhaps it is for the best."
"What do you think of..." Here the lady's voice trailed off and I realized she must have noticed me standing so near them. "Hello, dear." I turned my head to see one of the older ladies in the group smiling at me. I smiled back and took the hand she extended me. I was sure we had been introduced, but could not recall her name. "Congratulations on your marriage. Mr. Harland is a fine choice."
"Indeed," said another one of the ladies in the group with a tone that could be taken as sincerity or as something with quite a different meaning. She looked me over quickly, then opened her fan.
"What do your parents think of the marriage?" Another of the older ladies in the group spoke up.
"They thought it strange I wanted to go so far away." I forced myself to smile. "But they respected my choice."
"Ah." The woman seemed satisfied.
"We were all surprised to hear of the engagement," the lady with the fan spoke again.
"I admit I was too," I smiled. "But I do not believe Mr. Harland is one to be turned down."
"Oh no, I presume not," the lady replied. "Mr. Harland gets what he sets his mind to. I'm sure you know as much. I cannot imagine living in the same house as that man..." She stopped for a moment. "I'm sorry if I speak out of turn, Mrs. Harland. You seem like a sweet girl, and I don't believe any of us could have pictured such a girl marrying such a man." I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or frightened at this declaration. The ladies then decided to take their conversation outside and curtseyed a goodbye before excusing themselves. A moment later, Thranduil was again at my side and I wondered if they had seen his approach and chosen that moment for their exit.

I slid under my covers that night with a tired body, but a mind that was very much awake. I couldn't stop thinking about that morning in that church. The wedding band on my finger felt so foreign. Who knew that a small golden band could cause so much turmoil? But this is what I wanted, my mind kept reminding me. I had wanted a different life. I had chosen this. But so many doubts kept crowding in. How could I fit into this life? Into his family? The only connections I had made since being here had been with Legolas and with my dressmaker. The dressmaker he had forbidden me to go to. How could I have married this man? The words from the woman at the party kept echoing in my head. And yet maybe I was all wrong...maybe he was truly good and this would all turn out for the best. I tried to silence my brain as I rolled over under the sheets. It was then that I remembered the door. The thin sheet of wood separating my room from my husband's. A shudder ran through my body. Why did that door suddenly become so terrifying? I was his wife and he had a right. At any moment he could open that door and command me to give myself to him. But my brain laughed at me, telling me he wouldn't do such a thing. He would be good to me. But a small thought in the back of my head kept speaking to me. Did I really know that much about him? Had what I had seen so far really shown him to be a good man? But how could I call him a bad man? For I knew nothing.

Chapter Text

My first morning as a married woman consisted of me getting dressed and eating the breakfast that had been sent to my room before venturing out into the hall then downstairs where I found Legolas at the piano again. I sat in a chair by the instrument and he gave me a slight nod before looking back at the piano keys his hands were flying over. I laid back against the cushions as I watched my new son. I felt very comfortable calling him my son and hoped one day he could see me as some kind of mother. I realized as I listened to the music, that I knew very little of his real mother. Thranduil's first wife must have died some time ago, for I had seen nothing of hers in the house, nor had anyone mentioned her at the reception the night before. I could see so much of his father in the boy before me, but I did wonder what he had of his mother's. Perhaps his love of music came from her. My eyes examined the intensity in his face as he played the classical piece, each note full of meaning. Some of his long blonde hair had been pulled back, but the rest fell down his back, the way Thranduil always wore his. Legloas had a small braid hanging down beside his ear - something his father never wore. He sat before me in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a brown vest that hung open. He was so gentle and had been so kind to me since my arrival. Even though I hadn't gotten the chance to be there for him as a child or watch him grow up, I was still proud of the man he had become. The chords were slower now and a moment later he was taking his fingers off the keys and he exhaled slowly as he lay his hands in his lap.

"That was beautiful," I told him. "How long have you been playing?"

"Ever since I was young," he informed me. "I played because it gave me something to do...and it was peaceful." He turned and his eyes met mine. "Do you play?"

At this I shook my head adamantly. "I do not."

"Then what do you do, Miss Trina?" A playful smile was now tugging at his lips, but I only felt confused. What kind of a question was that? I was the daughter of a gentleman...a lady. I didn't do anything. Instead of announcing this to the boy in front of me, I gave a light laugh and shook my head.

"Nothing as interesting as you. Though I do like to visit the dressmakers. Should we go back to Miss Faleen's shop today?" The change in subject seemed to work and Legolas's face lit up at the suggestion.

"Yes, we should."

"Good." But then...I remembered. Why was it so easy for me to forget? "I assume your father is not home?"

"No." Legolas's face now darkened. "He left early this morning and does not think he will return before dinner." And just like that, the man I had married was gone again. It seemed like he would never be around.

"Then he will not be here to stop our little excursion," I smiled. "Come, let us get ready."

The walk to Mary Faleen's shop seemed far quicker this time. Legolas kept up a lively conversation as we walked and we reached the shop far sooner than I wished. Before we started up the steps I asked if Legolas would come in with me, but he replied that he wanted to meet up with a friend and would pick me up when I was done. He then started to say something else that I couldn't quite understand, but paused, then shook his head and apologized. He smiled and gave me a quick bow, then turned and walked off down the street. I went into Mary's shop trying to figure out what Legolas had been trying to say, but my thoughts were interrupted by a greeting from Mary. She took my hand and the first thing she said was,

"Congratulations on your marriage, Mrs. Harland. I heard the reception was beautiful."

"Thank you, Mary." I smiled, then realized that she had greeted me with Thranduil's name. It was right since I was now his wife, but it seemed strange to be addressed that way.

"And I am glad you've come," Mary went on, completely unaware of my thoughts. "I was going to send for you. I am ready for your first fitting."

"Ah, I cannot wait to see what you have made for me!"

"And I cannot wait to show you."

Legolas and I had barely made it home when a servant came to my room to announce the arrival of Thranduil's carriage. I thanked them, then continued to get ready for dinner. He could not expect me to greet him at the door. My servant finished doing my hair and hung a string of pearls around my neck, then I headed downstairs. I met Thranduil as I stepped out of my room and he looked me over quickly. "Good evening, Trina." His voice was not tender, but it wasn't unkind. "How was your day?"

"Very good, Thranduil. And yours?"

"Profitable." He then took my hand and pressed his lips to it briefly. "Excuse me, I will dress for dinner and be down in a moment."

"Of course." Then he walked past me and I heard the door to his room close behind him. I made my way downstairs and found Legolas already dressed, pacing the floor in the sitting room. He seemed upset and I immediately wondered if Thranduil had said something. "Is something the matter?" I wished to convey that I was there for him and very willing to listen to anything he wished to tell me.

"No," Legolas replied quickly. He then sighed and settled into one of the chairs by the fireplace. "It's nothing. It's always nothing." I sat on one of the chairs across from him and stayed quiet, but he said nothing more. We were joined by Thranduil a few minutes later and we went in to dinner.

Legolas retired early after dinner. He bade us goodnight, sending me a quick smile before leaving us alone in the drawing room. Thranduil picked up his glass of brandy and went to stand by the fireplace. The glow of the flames lit up his face, but made it look stern. A slight chill ran through my body, but I told myself I was being silly. I had no reason to fear him.

"And how did you and Legolas spend your time today?" Thranduil asked, just as I picked up a book from the table beside me.

"I came downstairs to find him playing piano today. He plays very well." This gained me a light laugh from the man by the fire.

"He plays for his own pleasure."

"And I hope he continues to do so." I smiled. "You should be proud of his accomplishments."

"Accomplishments? The boy has none," Thranduil said in a laughing tone as he glanced at me before taking a sip from his glass. "But let us speak no more of Legolas. What else did you do?" Just like the last time, this question seemed more like a command. I decided to ignore his responses in our last conversation and told him of our visit to Mary's shop. "I thought I told you I did not want you going to see that seamstress," Thranduil's voice was calm, but the tone of displeasure was very apparent.

"I believe you told me to do as I wished." I did not mean to sound impertinent, but I could not understand his frustration or even his interest in the matter. "The clothes are beautiful and I am very pleased with them."

"But what would you know of Northern fashion?" He turned from the fire and his eyes pierced mine, causing me to look away. "I will not have my wife arrayed in clothes made by that woman."

"Then what would you have me do?" I forced my voice to stay steady as I turned to meet his gaze. "The clothes are already made and it would be quite unkind to not accept them now."

"She will be well paid, but the clothes can go to some other woman who cares not how she dresses." His tone was full of scorn and it only made me angry.

Another thought struck me and even though I knew I should not speak it, I could not help myself. "But the fabrics were bought with my brother in Philadelphia. I cannot give them up so..."

"Other fabrics can be bought." My husband began to sound exasperated.

"Not ones that Harrison chose. They are very special..."

"Enough!" The word was announced loudly and I was taken aback by the anger in his eyes. "We will speak no more of this, Trina," he commanded. "I will take you to another dressmaker tomorrow." And with that, he left the room, walking out quickly and letting the door slam behind him. I sat in stunned silence. That. That man was my husband.

I could not sleep that night. Who could have after what I had just done? Married a stranger and fought with him on our first full day of marriage. I finally slipped out of bed and pulled on my robe, thinking that a drink would certainly calm me down some. It was very early in the morning, telling by the darkness outside, and I would just go downstairs quickly then be back up with nobody noticing. I slipped out into the hall and carefully closed the door behind me before making my way down the stairs. I had just reached the bottom when I heard something. It sounded like a door closing, and it was coming from the direction of the kitchen. I carefully made my way down the hallway, pulling my robe around me. Perhaps one of the servants were still up and making preparations for the next day. I pushed the door to the kitchen open and was greeted by an empty kitchen with the embers burning low in the fireplace. As I stepped into the room, the silence was broken by muffled footsteps and hushed voices. My head turned in their direction and I found myself looking at some sort of back door. The voices came and went sporadically and as I slowly walked towards the door, more sounds would interrupt the voices. I hesitated for a moment when I reached it, but the sounds did not seem dangerous so I pulled the door open. There, standing out in the darkness, was a young boy and a young girl. The young boy was Legolas. His arms were wrapped around the girl, holding her slender body against his as they kissed. But it only took them a moment to realize they were being watched and they pulled apart quickly to see who I was. Legolas's eyes widened and I could see him searching for something to say. The girl looked terrified as she clung to him. I did not quite know what to do. I was incredibly surprised. I decided to simply step back and close the door halfway behind me. Speaking to the girl could do no good, and I would let her go in peace. There were sounds of a few rushed whispers, the sound of another kiss, then a moment later Legolas was stepping into the kitchen, closing the door softly behind him.

"I don't...we're...please..." Legolas was desperately trying to find the words to say. His voice was hushed and I answered likewise.

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "I'm not angry...and I'm not going to tell your father." Those were the words he was waiting for and he breathed a sigh of relief before leaning back against the wall. "Who is she?"

"Beth Faleen."

"Faleen?" I asked with surprise. "Is she Mary's sister?"

He nodded in response. "Yes."

"How long has...have you been seeing her?"

"A few months," he admitted. I appreciated his honestly and willingness to disclose this information to me.

"Does...anybody know?"

He shook his head. "Beth thinks Mary won't like it because of my father and...the rest of my family. My father will only consent to a marriage between me and a lady of status...and even then not for many years." That was something I understood well.

"You are young..." My eyes examined the tired, lovesick young man in front of me. I sighed. Here was someone just trying to live the life my parents had always wanted for me. I exhaled slowly. "Come," I put my arm through his as we began to walk out of the kitchen. "We must go to bed before we are missed."  

Chapter Text

On my second day of marriage, it was beginning to feel like I was married one day too many to this man. We sat in silence in the carriage on our way to the dressmaker of his choice. I just set my jaw and kept my mouth shut. What was the use? He just looked straight ahead and didn't make any movement or sound. I had wanted Legolas to come with us, but he had still been in bed when we left that morning. It was probably for the best anyways. If I couldn't be away from Thranduil, at least Legolas could be. Perhaps I was giving him one morning of freedom. Maybe he would use it to see Beth.

The shop that Thranduil took me to was inside a very large house. It was not one of the small ones in town, and this one had several seamstresses. We were greeted at the door by a servant who took our hats and coats before we were shown into a lavish sitting room. When we stepped into the room, I immediately recognized the regal lady sitting in one of the chairs. Thranduil's mother. She stood up and pulled a smile across her face. I couldn't tell whether she was really happy to see me or whether this was simply an obligation. She greeted her son first, then turned to me, placing a small kiss on my cheek. "And how are you, dear? All rested after the wedding celebrations?"
"I believe so, yes," I told her. The celebrations had been minimal and much resting up had not been required.
"Well it is good to see you."
Then we sat. Thranduil and I on a couch, his mother in a large chair on my other side. Thranduil sat so that his side was completely touching mine, but his hands stayed folded in his lap. His mother began to speak on some gossip she had heard about some lady I didn't know or care about. I kept trying to bring myself into the conversation, but my brain felt trapped and kept telling me I was alone. It felt like a lifetime before a well-dressed lady stepped into the room and announced she was ready for "Mrs. Harland." At that name, we all stood up, but Thranduil informed us that he was not going to stay. He kissed his mother goodbye, giving her a smile, then turned and gave me a cold kiss on the cheek before turning and leaving the room. Julia threaded her arm through mine and we followed the lady into a room lined with mirrors. There we were met by an even better dressed lady who seemed to be the head seamstress. Her and Julia greeted each other like old friends, then they started to discuss a new wardrobe for me. It became evident very soon that my opinion was not going to be asked.
I sat in one of the chairs, staring at the clock and wishing the hands would move faster, while the seamstress and Julia were discussing fabrics. It was then that the door opened and a young girl walked in with a stack of papers. Her eyes immediately went to mine and I recognized her as the young girl I caught kissing Legolas the night before. Her eyes widened and I smiled, trying to calm the thoughts that must have been rushing through her head.
"Beth!" The sharp voice of the seamstress broke our silent communication and the girl looked at the one who had called her name. "You don't need to bring those in here. Go give them to the girl at the front. I don't need you bothering my customers!" The girl stuttered a reply, glanced one last time at me, then retreated from the room. Thankfully, the interruption gave Julia a moment to check the time and she told the seamstress that we would have to be going. I collected my purse and a few moments later, I was making the silent ride back to my house in Julia's carriage.

I missed my view. Sitting in a large chair by the window did not hold the same calming effect when one is looking out at a busy street instead of a peaceful field. The street below me never seemed to stop. Everyone was always rushing. Going off to one thing or another. There was no time to stop. No time to talk. No time to listen to the birds or watch the trees swaying in the breeze. Not that there were birds or trees in this city. I used to sit by the window in our drawing room for hours. I could watch the workers going back and forth and I could always see when someone was coming up our long driveway to pay us a visit. Here, I could watch the street for a few moments before feeling thoroughly exhausted. There was no peace in it. The only peace that came was when I sat and watched the outside world to the music that Legolas played on the piano. In that I could find peace. I found comfort in his fingers that danced over the ivory keys and produced such beautiful melodies.

We were mostly alone during the long summer days. Thranduil would frequently leave us in the morning and not return til evening. When I saw that this was a pattern, I suggested that we not spend our afternoons alone every day. So, every few days, Beth would join us. Sitting beside Legolas on his piano bench - her wide eyes watching his face. Sometimes I would walk in to find her delicate fingers tracing the folds of fabric over his back. Other days, she would sit with me. I would sit by the window and she would sit a little farther back. It took a while for her to start talking to me in full sentences, but with a little coaxing from Legolas and myself, she began to open up to me and I saw the lovely young woman that had Legolas so enamored. When Beth started coming, I told the servants that her presence did not need to be told to Master Thranduil and they did not seem to think the idea was a bad one. I did not think Thranduil would ever ask, but if he did, I had confidence that he would not be informed. And if he was, I would take the full blame for her presence. Their reasons for secrecy were wise, so I decided to stick to them, going against my husband and everything he stood for. I asked that they tell Mary, thinking she would not object if I were on the side of the lovers. She frowned at the situation, but put up no objections. She could not be blamed for that.

Then came the evenings. I would sit in the sitting room with Thranduil and he would question me thoroughly about my day, though one did not differ much from the next. I came to think of him far more as a master than a husband and I believe I was treated far more like a servant than a wife. One Fall evening he decided that he wished to have me read to him. The request was unexpected and my response was one full of disbelief.
"Do you not wish to read to me?" He asked, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if any disagreement would not be tolerated.
"I do not see the need when you are very able to read for yourself. You are able to manage with the morning paper well enough."
"But I do not prefer to read in this light. And it would give us something better to do than to speak on subjects we care nothing about." That much was true. Thranduil and I had nothing to say to each other. "Come, let us be amiable for an evening and read together." At this, Thranduil leaned forward and placed his hand upon mine. It surprised me and I drew back, causing him to again lean back in his chair, seemingly not bothered by my movement. "Choose a book and begin." He was back to his orders. I stood and walked over to the bookcase that stretched along the back wall and began to scan the book titles.
"Do you care much for Shakespeare, sir?"
"You have no need to call me sir, Trina. And no, I do not care much for Shakespeare."
"And what of Virgil..." I waited a moment before saying his name. "Thranduil."
"I find him of far more interest."
"Then we shall read The Aeneid." And I pulled the heavy book from the shelf then returned to my seat. I glanced over at my husband as I opened the book and saw him staring intently at the fire. I watched him for a moment in the silence. His face was not as hard then and in the light...he looked almost beautiful. His hands lay clasped in his lap and I saw the band of gold that circled his fourth finger of his left hand. The metal glowed in the light of the fire. That ring meant that we were bound. It was so easy to forget when he did not take notice of me. When he left every morning only to return at night. My eyes returned to his face and as they did, he turned to meet my gaze. The moment our eyes met, it seemed like all the softness I had thought I saw in his face had vanished. He was his hard self once more.
"You may begin."
I looked down at the rough page before me and began reading.
"Arms and the man I sing, who, forced by fate
And haughty Juno’s unrelenting hate,
Expelled and exiled, left the Trojan shore.
Long labors, both by sea and land, he bore;
And in the doubtful war, before he won
The Latin realm and built the destined town,
His banished gods restored to rights divine,
And settled sure succession in his line;
From whence the race of Alban fathers come,
And the long glories of majestic Rome."

Chapter Text

And so we began to read together. Or rather I would read while he would listen. His eyes would mostly be directed towards the fireplace, but every so often I would look up to find
his eyes staring directly into mine. He would give me unreadable expressions. None of them were happy...or kind, definitely not loving, but some of them were soft...almost gentle. He would sometimes stop me to instigate conversation questions on the section we had just read. It took me a few tries to actually start giving my opinion rather than just moving on, but I learned that he actually did wish to talk. In the end, his opinion would always trump mine, but at least he wanted to hear mine. I asked Legolas if he wished to join us and he said that I was very welcome to spend whole evenings with his father, but he was under no obligation to. Once we started inviting Beth over during the day, I asked that Legolas not go out at night to meet her anymore. They both needed sleep and it was far riskier to have secret meetings while Thranduil was in the house rather then when he was not. So Legolas would spend his evenings in his room or out with his friends. And I would spend my evenings discussing Greek wars with my husband.

Dear Celeste,
Married life is very much the same as you found it in my last letter. Thranduil is still frequently gone, leaving the house to myself. I do not wish to try to fit into society here, so I spend most of my time with Legolas, our son. I know, you probably frown as you read these words. The women here are proud, Celeste. They have family trees that they can trace back to Noah's Ark and do not wish to be seen with a Southerner such as myself. And, though I laugh while I say it, I do not wish to be seen with Northerners such as them. I am well enough. I cannot give any real complaints of my condition. You know I never needed much love and affection, dear sister, and here I find none, and am not any worse off. But enough about me. How are you? How is Asa? How are our dear parents? I have had so little correspondence with anyone since my marriage. Send them my love. I miss you all very much. I'm enclosing a small portrait that I had drawn of myself and Thranduil. The likeness is not very like him, because I had it drawn from a painting of him. Though, his height is the same. Write soon, sister.
Your Trina

One Fall afternoon, I was invited over to Julia's house for tea. It wasn't somewhere I wished to go, but I couldn't exactly turn down my mother-in-law. So I found myself sitting in her drawing room, making small talk about the weather and what fabrics to wear in it. She served me tea in the most proper and pristine way imaginable. She was gracious beyond belief and in every way, the perfect host. If I hadn't met her, I don't believe I would think she could exist. And it made sense that she was his mother. And that he was her son. Both were equally calculating and perfect, while being completely unattached and unemotional. She asked how I was enjoying married life and instead of telling her that I didn't find it much different than single life, I told her that I found myself adjusting well.
"I am pleased to hear that." She smiled as she spoke. "God knows it took me long enough to adjust to living with my husband." And that was the first time she had mentioned my husband's father. I wanted to ask so many questions, but none of them seemed appropriate. In the South, we would be rather open about such things. Northern women did not seem to have the same...openness. "You hesitate," Julia remarked. "Do you have something to say on that subject?" Again, I thought of the questions...but could not bring myself to ask any of them. I simply shook my head, prompting a slight laugh from Julia. "You are a girl of few words, Trina. I like that about you." And she smiled again. "But if you are not going to ask me anything, then I shall ask you. I would like to ask you about the young girl that is frequently seen visiting my son's house." Young girl...at first, I thought she may be trying to alert me to some unfaithfulness of Thranduil's, but then I remembered Beth. "Beth, is it?" I was not entirely sure that she could not read my mind.
"Beth Faleen, yes. What of her?"
"What of her?" My mother-in-law laughed. "Well what does she do there? Don't tell me she is some friend of yours."
"She is," I replied simply. That was not a lie.
"I'm afraid that answer won't do, my dear, regardless of its truth. The girl is close enough to my grandson's age to cause just enough...curiosity." A smile played around her pretty
mouth. "I'm sure I have it right, do I not?"
"I...I do not see the harm in it." I was not going to lie to her. My answer caused her to laugh once more.
"Oh, dear, you may not see the harm in it, but I'm sure everyone else does. The girl is a shopkeepers sister! Daughter of who knows who..." Then she stopped and looked at me. Her bright eyes narrowed then she waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not going to explain this to you." The cheeriness had gone out of her voice. "But it is not going to help either one of them to continue on in this nonsense." Her words did not persuade me and my eyes searched her face for the threat that I was sure was coming. She would tell Thranduil, no doubt. And that...that was something I did not want. "If you're wondering whether or not my son will be told...he will not. I will leave that to you, if you so desire, though I see that you do not. If you persist in allowing Legolas to think that he can marry this girl, you are only hurting him. I hope you will see fit to let him down gently before his father finds out. You may not be afraid of him yet, my dear, but I will tell you that you should be. He is not as kind as I am." And that was all she said on the subject. She ran the bell and one of her many servants hurried in with some tea cakes. I had to sit there and eat them while Julia went back to her jovial self, telling me about how beautiful I would look in my new gowns and listing off events I could wear them to.

I was quiet during the ride back to my home. I could only think of the words that Julia had spoken about Legolas and about his father. She was right, to be sure, but Legolas had to have counted the cost when he and Beth started their whole affair. He knew his father far more than I did. Perhaps he was not really to be feared after all. I knew that was not true. I knew from the first day that I met Thranduil that I would be sorry if I ever made him angry or even vaguely unhappy. And he would be angry if he found out...but Legolas loved Beth. I was sure of that. I now understood how my parents had felt when they told us girls stories about our princes on white horses and how happy we would be when we found love. I wanted that for him. I didn't want a forever life of worrying about the right thing to say and the right thing to wear for him. They were young, but Beth could make him happy. I couldn't wish for more than that for my son. But we didn't live in a fairy-tale. How could they ever marry? My heart was heavy as I climbed the steps to my door. I was met by several servants, all ready to take my outer-wear. One of the servants waved me in the direction of the sitting room and I gave her a curious look.
"Master asks for you to see him the moment you're in, miss."
"He's here?" I did not wait for her reply before hurrying in the direction of the sitting room. It was mid-afternoon and Thranduil did not usually return for several more hours. I found Thranduil sitting in his chair, reading over a letter of some sort. When I entered, he looked up, setting the paper aside, then rose and extended his hand to me. I took it, still rather surprised at his presence. "You are home early."
"I hope I am not intruding in my own home." The words were spoken in a rather playful way then he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "How was tea with my mother?"
"It was exactly how I expected it to be." I had to smile as I spoke.
"I'm sure she had a lot of gossip to share with you." That wasn't primarily what we spoke about, but I won't disagree, so I just smiled. "I picked up one of your new dresses today."
"You did?" My tone properly displayed my surprise.
"We are going out to a party tonight and you needed something to wear."
"We're going out tonight?" It seemed as if I had endless questions.
"I received an invitation to a Fall party tonight and I believe we should attend. It has been brought to my attention that I have been rather...neglectful recently, so we shall go out tonight." Ahh, there was the ulterior motive. Even so, I was glad for an evening away from the fire and our book. An evening out could be fun. Maybe.

The gown that Thranduil had picked up was absolutely beautiful. It was a deep purple color with short, puffy sleeves. A thick ribbon of a slightly darker purple circled the waist and there was some needlework around the neckline. Julia had done a good job on this one. It had an empire waist and was sleeker than the dresses I was used to wearing in Georgia. My mother would be surprised to see me in something so like the Northern women. I guess that was the point. My hair was pulled up in a sort of bun, and the rest of my curls cascaded down the back of my neck. A short, black cape was tied around my shoulders and black gloves were pulled onto my hands, then I was sent off downstairs to meet Thranduil. Tonight, Legolas also joined us. Thranduil took my hand the moment I had reached the bottom of the stairs and kept it held in his during the entire carriage ride and as we entered the hall where the party was taking place. As we walked in, I was greeted my the sound of a hundred voices that I did not recognize. Legolas disappeared into the
crowd, but I remained tethered to Thranduil's side. He was greeted by a small group of men and just like at our reception, I was introduced around. I smiled and greeted them, trying my best to play the dutiful wife. It was a hard role to play when you did not know who anybody was or how you were supposed to act. The group eventually disbursed and I looked around for anyone who I might vaguely recognize. I then realized that my husband was looking at me. He leaned down so I could hear him and whispered into my ear, "Would you like something to drink?" The thought was kind, but I shook my head. "Perhaps you would prefer we find a quieter corner." That was a much better idea.
"If it is what you would wish." It was definitely what I wished. He gave me something that was almost a smile, before intertwining our fingers, a motion I was not used to. He then led us through the crowd to a far less crowded corner where there were small groups of people scattered. People at Northern parties seemed to be averse to sitting at parties, so Thranduil and I stood close to the wall, watching the people coming and going.
"I wish you to make better acquaintances here." Thranduil surprised me by speaking. "I plan to take you out more often. It would help you to make more friends in your status." Status had never meant that terribly much to me. The only instance it had really come into play had been when Celeste and Asa decided to marry. Here, status seemed to mean a lot more. That was a lesson I was not too keen on learning.
"I fear there are not many women like me here."
"There are not." Thranduil's answer was quick. "But perhaps the possibility of making friends among lesser women should not be completely ignored." And again, he almost smiled.

"Thranduil!" Julia's voice was one that I did recognize. She gave her son a brief kiss before turning to me with one of her winning smiles. "And it is good to see you out again, my dear." She then kissed my cheek before turning back to her son. "Thranduil, did you not see who was here tonight?"
"No, indeed, mother. We have been enjoying the background this evening." Indeed, Thranduil and I had spent the whole party talking and not once had he let go of my hand.
"Well," Julia smiled as if she knew a secret and she desperately wanted to be the first to tell it. "Kili has just arrived from London and has brought his sister with him." My eyes went to my husband's face, who raised his eyebrows in surprise, then slowly let go of my hand. "I'm sure she would wish to greet you."
Thranduil then turned to me, his eyes scanning my face for a brief moment. "I must greet an old friend." He then told me, a strange tone in his voice. "I will be but a moment." Then he turned and was led away by his mother, leaving me rather alone. My eyes followed him through the crowd until I could not see him any more.

He was gone longer than a moment. I eventually decided to go look for that drink that he had offered me when we had first entered. I walked from room to room until I finally found a servant who happily got me a drink. On my way back to where Thranduil had left me, I found him. He was standing by a fireplace with one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was dressed in a cream satin gown with lace sleeves that was not as thin as my dress. Her dark hair was pinned so it would fall in short waves that perfectly framed her face. She looked even more elegant than my mother-in-law, which I didn't think possible. As I stood watching them, I saw Thranduil laugh. I did not love him. No, I could not say that I loved my husband, but watching him laugh with another woman...suddenly, I caught sight of Legolas walking past me and I quickly reached out to catch his arm.
"Legolas," I said quickly. "Who is that lady with your father?" Legolas turned to look and I saw a look of disgust cross his face.
"That lady is my aunt."
"I did not know your father had a sister."
"She is not his sister...she was my mother's."

Chapter Text

Her name was Adelle Sephene. I got her name out of a servant while she was serving me breakfast in my room the next morning. Last night, Thranduil had held my hand...and for a long time. That wasn't something that was normal for him. And though I prided myself on being very happy alone, I'd be lying if it hadn't hurt a little when he let go. I wanted to ask so many questions now...to my husband, to Legolas...but I wouldn't. I still felt like a guest in their home and I still felt out of place. No, I would play the dutiful wife...even if that meant being a fool in the end. I would make no assumptions and ask no questions.

Thranduil spent the day out again. Legolas went out with Beth, leaving me in the house alone. I read a book for a while before becoming bored of my surroundings. I decided to take a short walk and found myself in the streets of Boston. Once I was out of view of the house, I found myself growing nervous. I had never been alone in the city and it wasn't the best idea to go out walking by myself, but I was determined. I found my way to a small park a few streets away and entertained myself by looking at the flowers and watching the people come and go. I finally brought myself to walk back to my home.

When I entered the door, I was greeted by a servant who took my coat and told me that a gentleman was waiting for me in the drawing room. I asked who he was, surprised that anyone would visit this afternoon.
"Mr. Kili Sephene, ma'am. He insisted on waiting, even though I told him I didn't know where you had gone or when you would return."
"Sephene..." I walked towards the drawing room, then stopped before the door. I brushed any stray hairs behind my ears and took a deep breath, then opened the door with a large smile on my face. The man who had to be Kili was standing in front of the fireplace and turned as I walked in. "Mr.-"
"Trina, what an immense pleasure." He took my hand and kissed it before stepping back with a very large grin on his face. He seemed incredibly enthusiastic and the smile on his face was both far larger and far more authentic than my own.
"Mr. Sephene, I assume?" I had to smile at his excitement.
"Kili, please." He gave a small bow. "We are practically family." Well...maybe not.
"I do apologize for keeping you waiting. I decided to take a stroll into the city."
"A lady who takes a stroll and does not tell anyone where she is going - I like you already, Mrs. Harland."
I gave an awkward kind of laugh before taking a seat and motioning for him to do the same. "And to what do I owe this visit?"
"I came to see my nephew, primarily, but am very happy to make your acquaintance as well. We were very surprised when we had heard that Thranduil had married, but now that I see you I cannot say that I am much surprised." He spoke in such an excited manner.
"We?" I asked carefully, though I knew the answer.
"My sister, Adelle, and I. We've just come from England, you see."
"And what brings you to Boston?"
"The beautiful sights, the fashion, I suppose...but your husband and mother-in-law had extended an invitation indefinitely, so here we are."
"Is it your first time in Boston?"
"Oh, no." He laughed at this. "London is where we have always lived, but Boston is definitely a second home to us."
"I see." I smiled, trying very hard not to appear confused or as if I wished to ask many more questions.
"I hear you come from the South, is that right?"
"Georgia," I nodded.
"Yes, I can hear it in your voice." He grinned. "We have never ventured into the South, but I hear it is very pretty. Adelle's husband had gone many times to the South."
"Husband?" I could not help myself. It was out of my mouth before I knew it.
"Yes, her late husband. He was a duke and only lived a few months after the wedding." He gave a sort of sigh, then returned to his jovial self. "Tell me of the South then. Do you miss it?"
"I do. I-"
"Uncle?" We both turned to see Legolas standing in the doorway.
"Legolas!" Kili jumped up and gave his nephew a hearty handshake.
"What are you doing here?" Legolas gave Kili half a smile, then looked at me.
"I came to see you and your step-mother was kindly entertaining me."
"Very kind of her." Legolas gave me smile before turning back to his uncle. "And what would you have with me, uncle?"
"I wish for you to dine with me tonight. In fact, I wish for you to stay with us while we are in town."
"Well, I don't know..."
"We'll discuss it over dinner." Kili then turned to me. "It was so nice chatting with you, Trina." He reached out his hand and I stood up as I took it. He pressed my hand to his lips again before giving me another large smile. "I hope we may do it again soon. May I call you sister? We are almost family."
"You may..." It was a bit of a strange request, but I couldn't turn him down.
"Then farewell, sister." He flashed me one last smile before turning and leaving the room with Legolas.

Thranduil was out past supper time. Any time before that he stayed out this late, he would send word. He didn't this time. So I ate alone, then returned to my book in the drawing room. When I couldn't do that anymore, I took out a few pieces of paper and wrote to my mother, to Jane, then to Asa. I was reminded of Asa's request for me to see if there could be a better life for him in his family up North. I wrote to tell him that there was not. Southerners should stay in the South. I was more convinced of that than ever as the loneliness settled in. Legolas was out with his uncle and Thranduil was...who knows where. I had made no real friends since coming here. I hadn't even met anyone who I wanted to be friends with. The North was cold and harsh. I would never wish this upon any of my friends, least of all my dear sister. I looked over at a small table that stood by the chair I normally sat in in the evenings. The Aeneid sat there. Unused for the past two nights. I had thought we had something. I mean, I didn't ever think that we would act like a loving couple, but at least I thought we were getting to a place of mutual...respect and...and that we were okay living next to each other for the rest of our lives. He had held my hand last night and told me that I was superior to any of the other ladies at the party. I wanted to hit myself for taking that to heart. Thranduil was a Northerner. He didn't have to mean anything he said to me. I was simply his wife. I closed my eyes as my hands began to close into fists. I was letting the empty house get to me. I was letting the loneliness into my brain and that wasn't alright. I had to control myself. It didn't matter. I would be fine. I always was. I exhaled and looked down at the letter that I had almost finished to my brother-in-law. As I re-read it, I realized that I had written my feelings into each line. I sighed and crumpled up the letter and started on a new one.

I had just finished when I heard my husband greeting a servant in the hall. I stood as he entered the room.
"I wasn't sure you'd still be awake." He spoke without much expression as he adjusted his sleeves.
"How was your day?" I was careful to sound cheerful and not at all prying.
"It was fine. How was yours?" He walked over to his chair and took his usual seat, turning his gaze to the fire.
"It was...fine." I wanted to be honest, but I felt like I was using the word 'fine' in a different way than he was. "I read a lot today."
"Anything else?" He turned towards me and I recognized the look. We were back to him asking about everything I did during the day. Anger began to flare up in my chest, but I forced it down. I would not let him see me upset.
"I wrote a few letters to my family." I folded my hands in my lap, careful to remain calm. "And I took a walk today."
"Where did you walk?"
"Just into town a bit. I found a park there..."
"Who went with you?" His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched me.
"I walked alone."
"Alone?" He looked at me like I had to be joking, but I nodded and anger entered his face. "You went out into a city you barely know without any escort?" Thranduil's eyes were now glaring straight through me. He was treating me as if I knew nothing and that...that made me want to glare right back. But I wouldn't. I couldn't. He stood up, towering over me, and looked as if he wanted to say something else, but he caught himself. He took a step towards the door and I slowly stood, then he turned back towards me and looked me over again. "Unbelievable." He turned around again and began to walk towards the door. I opened my mouth and...I could have said it. I could have brought her up. I could have used her name, but no. I would not cause a war in my home. It wasn't worth that.
"Thranduil." His name slipped out of my mouth and it stopped him at the door. He didn't turn around, but he stood there. I walked over to him, stopping just a few inches from him. I wanted a truce. I wanted to live in a home without so many secrets or games. I wanted to be happy where I was. Slowly, I reached out and my hand found his. I felt his his fingers close around mine for a moment, but then he let go. He left me standing there and a moment later, I heard him climbing the stairs.

Chapter Text

Legolas stayed with his uncle for the next week and I learned to be alone. Sometimes, Legolas would make sure I was invited to lunch with him and his uncle, which was very kind. I found Kili to be very kind and always in a good mood. I never saw Adelle. I knew that Legolas couldn't spend a lot of time with Beth while he was with his relitives, so sometimes I would take a carriage down to Mary's shop and say hello to her and Beth. I wouldn't tell Thranduil that part when he was reviewing my day. Thranduil was frequently gone through dinner, but I would wait up in the drawing room until he came back. Sometimes he wished to read with me, other times he had no interest in doing anything, but asking what I had done that day. The days were lonely, but I forced myself to focus on things other than my own feelings. It wouldn't do any good for me to mope or feel sorry for myself. I refused to be that woman. And there, in the middle of all of that, my brother arrived.

I was sitting in my room, trying to busy myself with arranging my new dresses, when a servant came up to tell me that a gentleman was here who wanted to see me immediently. I walked to the top of the stairs and saw him there. "Harrison!" And I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and into the arms of my favorite person in the whole world. I held onto him for as long as he would let me, before we pulled apart and he pressed a kiss onto my cheek.
"How are you, dear sister?"
"Harrison, why...what are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood."
"You were not! What on earth brings you to Boston?"
"Father wanted me to meet with a merchant from France who was in New York for a few weeks, so I decided to come and see you."
"I'm so glad you are here." I hugged him tightly again, then led him into the drawing room and sat down beside him. I made him tell me everything. How everyone at home was doing, how he was, how everyone was taking my departure...and he told me that everything was very much the same. It was strange to hear such a thing when so much was different from me. He said that Celeste worried a good deal about me because of my letters, but he told me that he knew I had to be just fine.
"You are strong. I'm sure you are doing well here in the North." Oh, how much he did not know. I began to tell him a few things about myself, not delving too deep into what had been going on recently, when we were interrupted by the arrival of Kili, of all people. I rose to greet our guest, then quickly introduced him to Harrison.
"Your brother? Ah, good to make your aquaintance, sir." Kili was very happy to give my brother a hearty handshake. "And what brings you to Boston?"
"I was in the neighborhood."
"How nice." Kili grinned at me and I smiled back, though I didn't know what we were smiling about. Harrison looked at me as if asking who on earth this person was. I didn't know how to respond to that either.
"And what brings you here today, Kili?" I asked cheerfully.
"Well, sister," that title brought another strange look from my brother, "Legolas said he had to make a call this morning and would meet me back here in a bit. I came a little early to check on your health."
"Health?" Now I believed I was as confused as Harrison was.
"Yes," Kili said eagerly. "Last night, Thranduil said that you were ill...that's why you couldn't make it to our little gathering." Oh, did he? "So, I stopped in to see how you were feeling. It looks as if you've fully recovered."
"Yes," I forced a smile. "I'm doing very well this morning, thank you. There's not many illnesses that a good night sleep won't cure."
"I'm so glad to see it, sister." Another look from Harrison told me that he was about to kill our intruder.
"And how was your...gathering last night?"
"Absolutely sublime! You missed out on a wonderful spectacle."
"Perhaps I will be able to attend next time."
"Well I hope you will be attending the party that your mother-in-law is throwing tomorrow night." He said it as if it was definite that I was going. Apparently my husband had to decide these things for me, so who knew if I would be going.
"I hope so," was all I could say to him. "Where did you say that Legolas was going?"
"He had to pay a call on a dear friend, I believe he told me. Who knows where that boy goes, though." Probably to Beth.
"And when will he return?"
"In another hour, I believe."
"Ah, just after lunch." How lovely that you came just in time for it. "Kili, did you know that my brother enjoys travelling. I believe you enjoy it as well?" Please, Lord, let them have something in common so this is more bearable.
"Yes, of course!" Then Kili launched into a very long monologue about the places he had visited. Slowly, Harrison began to warm up to our strange visitor and was willing to engage in a conversation with him. A few moments later, we were told that lunch was ready and we all got up to dine together.

Legolas returned home just after we had finished eating and I was able to introduce him to Harrison as "my son, Legolas." I realized after I had said it that I didn't know how Legolas felt about that title, but he made no reaction at all. He just shook my brother's hand with a smile. Harrison looked at me and I knew that he could tell in my eyes how much I had already grown to love the young man. Legolas and Harrison were able to speak for a few minutes before Kili announced that they had imposed on me long enough. To my surprise, Legolas kissed my cheek as he said goodbye. Again, Harrison watched my face. After they were gone, my brother said he wished to rest a bit after his journey and I showed him to our largest guest room. I then returned to the drawing room and to my book, though now I did not feel lonely. I felt happy and encouraged. Having my brother here, regardless of how short a time he could stay, would be exactly what I needed.

I realized too late that I should have sent word to Thranduil that my brother had arrived. Though even if I had remembered earlier, I did not know where I could reach him. He was always somewhere different whenever I asked. Harrison and I went out for a stroll before dinner and I showed him a few of the sights, promising to show him more during his visit. We returned in enough time to dress for dinner. I had just finished putting on a new white lace gown when there was a knock at my door. My maid answered it and then was dismissed as my husband entered the room. I stood up from my mirror, surprised to see him.
"Good evening, Trina." He greeted me rather coldly before closing the door behind him. He was still in his clothes from the day and looked rather tired. "I am told we have a guest."
"My brother is here. He had to make a business trip to New York and decided to visit me on the same trip."
"Did he send word that he was coming?"
"He did not," I said quickly, then stopped myself from becoming upset. "I guess he wanted it to be more of a surprise." I could tell that Thranduil was displeased, but he also seemed determined to not get upset.
"How long will he be here?" I sensed the exhaustion in his voice and it pushed away any anger than I was feeling.
"I don't know." I walked towards my husband. "You look tired." I reached out, hesitated, then brushed some of his long hair away from his face.
"I'm fine." He pulled away slightly, but when I started to put my hand down he caught my wrist gently. His eyes then looked into mine. I could see that he was unhappy...and it looked almost like he was in pain. I took a step closer, though I'm not sure why I did.
"Are you alright?" I asked quietly. I slid my wrist down, so that I could take his hand with mine.
"I am tired tonight, that is all."
"I will excuse you from dinner, if you wish," I said gently. "If you'd like to rest."
"I would prefer your brother not to think ill of me." And with that, he let go of me completely and turned toward the door that separated his room from mine. "I will change and be down and a moment. You will have to excuse me after we eat, for I will retire early."
"Of course." I watched him enter his room and close the door behind him. I turned back to the mirror and surveyed the woman before it. My red engagement ring shone in the light, reminding me whenever I looked at it what I was to that man. But despite what the ring symbolized, I felt like I could never be all that it could mean.

Introducing Thranduil to Harrison was strange. It was as if two pieces of me that had never touched were suddenly colliding. Harrison and I waited in the sitting room until Thranduil came downstairs. As he entered the room, my heart sped up. "Harrison," I spoke as we stood up. "This is my husband, Thranduil Harland." Harrison held out his hand and Thranduil took it, giving him a firm handshake. "Thranduil, this is my brother, Harrison Florence." To my surprise, Thranduil smiled.
"We are pleased you could visit, Mr. Florence."
"Harrison, please. Thank you for allowing me to stay on such short notice."
"Of course." Thranduil gave him a nod, before offering his arm to me. "Shall we dine?"

Dinner conversation went off rather well. Both men seemed interested in getting to know the other, leaving me to do most of the listening. It was a welcome reprieve and I was grateful to see them get along.
"How has my wife been entertaining you today?" Thranduil asked my brother.
"She has been doing her job well," Harrison smiled at me. "We went for a pleasant stroll and were able to spend much time in conversation. That is, until we were interrupted by a visitor."
"A visitor?" Thranduil then turned to me.
"Kili and Legolas stopped by for lunch."
"You met Kili today?" Thranduil looked rather amused as he glanced back at my brother.
"I did," Harrison nodded.
"And what did you think of him?" He didn't particularly love him.
"I thought he was of the eccentric sort," Harrison smiled. Then he seemed to remember something and his smile faded. "He was kind enough to ask after Trina's health. I was sorry to hear that she had been unwell." My eyes widened slightly and I saw Harrison intensely watching my husband. Thranduil continued to calmly cut the meat on his plate.
"I am glad she is feeling well this evening," was his simple answer.
"I am too," Harrison said coldly. And after that moment, there was a dark cloud over our conversation. Harrison turned rather unamiable and Thranduil seemed incredibly apathetic no matter what subject I brought up. We finished our food with many long silences, then Thranduil excused himself and retired upstairs, leaving my brother and I to sit in the drawing room.

"Trina, what are you doing here?" Harrison had been silent for the first few moments, but now he spoke exactly what was on his mind.
"What do you mean?" I looked down at my hands in my lap. "I'm doing just fine here."
"You're in a place where you have no one to support you. You became an instant mother to a boy who's almost fully grown." He took a deep breath then exhaled before speaking slowly. "And you're married to a man who has no problem lying straight to your face."
"Harrison, please-"
"Don't defend him." Harrison spoke as if my words pained him. "Trina, I know that you didn't love living in the South, but I think that you moved to hell."
"Harrison-"
"What do you even have here?" His voice started to grow louder. "Sure, Legolas seems like a nice kid, but besides that, what do you have?"
"Please don't shout," I said quietly.
"I can't believe that you married that man." And that's what it came down to, didn't it. I slowly started to shake my head.
"Don't say anything about him."
"There is no love in that man, Trina. He wanted you for...for decoration - for looks, maybe, but that's all."
"Please, stop, Harrison."
"He could never be a good husband to you. He doesn't care for anybody but himself. He could never love you."
"I don't need him to love me!" The words came out loud and forceful and I immediately drew back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." Harrison sat there, stunned, just staring at me.
"Dear sister," he started. "Please don't tell me you care for that man." I didn't know exactly why I was feeling how I was feeling...maybe it was because I had felt so alone for so long...maybe it was because the person whose opinion mattered the most to me was telling me that the life I built for myself was fake...or maybe I did care for him. Maybe just a little, I wanted to be married to him. Maybe I was starting to realize that I could be happy with him. And just maybe I was starting to realize that I might be too late.
"I wish to tell you something." I said slowly
"What is it?" His gentle eyes searched my face as his hands took mine.
"You must promise you will not speak ill of him ever again."
"If it pains you then I will not say a word against him."
"I.." How could I say it? It would make Harrison angry and rightfully so, but I had to tell someone. I had to get out the rest of what had only just begun to pour out. "I believe Thranduil may regret marrying me." I spoke slowly. "I believe he may wish he had married somebody else." Harrison opened his mouth then instantly shut it again. I appreciated his self control. "I will not try to make him want me, Harrison...but I will be the best damn wife in Boston. He will have nothing ill to say against me ever. I swear that to you, brother."

Chapter Text

I wouldn't say that he was cruel to me. But I didn't know why I kept defending him. Somehow, I felt like I had to. Even after everything I had heard about him, a part of me felt like it was all lies and nobody had taken the time to really know him. I knew there had to be a Thranduil deep down that was different than the one I kept seeing. Maybe it was the one who held my hand at that party, or who looked at me with tired eyes in my bedroom. I truly believed there was more of that one if I simply could dig deeper. But Thranduil never seemed to want me to try.

The morning after Harrison had arrived, I woke up early, having asked one of the servants to wake me as soon as the sun was up. I dressed quickly and went downstairs, hoping to make it in time to see Thranduil leave for the morning. To my surprise, I arrived at the breakfast table first. I had them serve me, so a few minutes later, Thranduil found me eating eggs and sausage in the dining room by myself. I could see the surprise on his face.
"You are up early." He took his seat at the head of the table and rang for the servants to bring his food in.
"I wanted to see you before you left. I did not know when you left, so I decided to try early."
"You tried very early." There was a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Did you sleep well? I know you were truly exhausted last night."
"I did, thank you." He seemed very amiable this morning. "Did you, Trina?"
"I did," I nodded. "But I believe I will have to rest this afternoon. I am not accustomed to early rising."
"Perhaps you could become accustomed."
"Perhaps." I took a sip of my coffee, then looked over at him. "I actually wished to speak to you about something."
"It must be something important to cause you to wake so early."
"It is about my conversation with Kili yesterday."
"Oh?" He had to know what I was talking about, but he wished to have me bring it up.
"I was surprised to hear that you had lied to him about why I was not at your gathering the other night." He did not respond or make any facial reaction, he simply kept eating. "I do not mind that you did not want me there, Thranduil, but I do not see why you had to lie."
"They pressed me for a reason, Trina, and I found myself giving them one." His eyes met mine. "I am sorry if I have offended you, it was not my intention."
"Thank you." I spoke calmly. "I wish you not to do so again."
"I do not intend to." He looked up at me again. "Is there anything else you wish to chastise me for?" I tried my hardest not to let him aggravate me.
"I do not mean to chastise you." I took a deep breath then exhaled. Thranduil glanced at me, but not for long. "Kili also mentioned that your mother is giving a party tonight."
"She is." He nodded. "Do you wish to attend it?" He was not asking kindly.
I waited a moment before giving my reply. "Do you wish me to?"
"Are you waiting for me to beg you to attend, Trina?" A mocking look pulled across his face. "Because I don't know what you want from me."
"Please, don't," I said quietly. "I don't want to argue with you."
"Nor I with you."
"Then please speak honestly." My words came out quickly now. "Do you wish for me to attend this party, or any party, with you as your wife? Because that is what I am Thranduil - your wife."
"I know that, Trina, do not speak so condescendingly." His voice was harsh now.
"I wish to make you happy...but I feel as if I do not know how to do so."
"If you wish to make me happy then you will not ambush me at the breakfast table." And with that, he stood up quickly and left the room, leaving me alone with the dirty dishes. I closed my eyes as I tried to steady my breathing. I was trying. I was trying to be a good wife and I had hoped that this morning we could figure out how to make this marriage more pleasant, but if he did not work with me...I did not know how I could do it on my own.

I tried to be animated with my brother that day, trying to keep up with conversations and entertain him, but it was hard when I could not get my mind off of breakfast with Thranduil. He noticed that I was not myself and asked what was wrong.
"I don't wish to speak about it." I tried to smile at him. "Not now."
"Is it Thranduil?"
"I'm trying to resolve things with him."
"You don't have to try, sister..."
"I want to." I exhaled. "I want to."

Harrison suggested that we go out for lunch, so I went up to my room to get ready. I dressed in one of my new gowns - a dark blue one - then sat before my mirror choosing my jewelry when there was a knock at my door. "Come in," I called out. I looked up and in my mirror, I saw the reflection of my husband.
"May I speak to you?" He asked.
"Of course." I stood up and turned towards him as he closed the door behind him. "What is it?" It was so unusual to see him home this early.
"I was harsh with you this morning and I want to apologize. I did not expect what you had to say and I reacted badly. I will not speak to you like that again."
"Thank you." I don't think I could express how much those words meant to me.
"I do wish for you to attend my mother's party with me tonight." When I did not immediately respond, Thranduil asked, "is it too short notice for you?"
"No, no," I smiled. "I would love to go. Will your mother mind very much if Harrison also attends?"
"I'm sure she would be very pleased to meet him."
"Good." I'm sure she would... As Thranduil turned to leave, a sudden thought struck me. "Thranduil, will...Kili be there?" If Kili was there, I was sure Adelle would be also.
"Yes, I believe so. Did he not tell you that he would be?"
"Oh, yes," I gave an awkward laugh, then cleared my throat to cover it up.
"I will see you downstairs."
"Are you staying for lunch?" I spoke with surprise.
"Yes," Thranduil nodded. "I believe I will spend the rest of the day with you, if you will allow me."
I gave a nod in reply, then Thranduil opened my door and disappeared into the hall. I stood there in a state of shock. Thranduil had apologized, asked me to go to a party with him, then declared that he would spend the whole day with me. And all this after I had informed him that I was not tolerant of his lying about me.

After eating lunch, Thranduil suggested that we give Harrison a proper tour of the city, so we went out in the carriage to see the sights. Thranduil sat beside me, leaving Harrison his own side of the carriage. It was a beautiful day out and we quite enjoyed ourselves, riding around the city. About half-way through our tour of Boston, I realized that Thranduil was holding my hand. When we got back, we ate dinner rather quickly, then got ready for the party that evening. I put on a white dress with purple flowers and was surprised to find that Thranduil was wearing a white suit this evening. We would match nicely. "You look beautiful," he commented as I reached the bottom of the staircase.
"You look nice, yourself," I smiled, then extended my hand, for once instigating touch between us. He took it then threaded our fingers together as I stepped beside him. It was only a few moments before Harrison joined us and we went out together.

The party was a small one, though no less grand than any of the others I had attended. We were greeted at the door by Tauriel, who was very eager to meet Harrison. A moment later, Legloas joined us, giving me another kiss as he greeted me before shaking hands with my brother. Then came Julia, eager to first greet her son, before giving me a sort of smile. She did grow a little more friendly when she was introduced to Harrison, but only for a moment.
"Thranduil," she turned back to her favorite. "Adelle has been asking after you."
"She is kind, mother," was Thranduil's quick response. "I'm sure I shall see her sometime this evening."
"See that you do." Then Julia disappeared into the crowd and we found our way to the drawing room. It did not take long for Kili to find us and he kissed my hand before greeting Harrison again, telling him how wonderful it was to see his "sister's brother". He then told us that he would be returning Legolas to us the next day and the news made me very happy. As he spoke, I noticed that his sister was standing across the room watching us. Kili noticed where I was looking and immediately called his sister over. My grip on my husband's hand tightened instinctively.
"Adelle, I don't believe you've met Thranduil's wife and her brother."
"No," Adelle's voice was strong and commanding, but not unkind. "I have not yet had the pleasure."
"Adelle, this is my wife, Trina." To my surprise, it was Thranduil who was introducing us.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance." Adelle smiled at me and I tried my best to return it.
"The pleasure is mine," I replied. "I have had a very conversations with your brother and am pleased to finally meet you."
"And this is her brother, Harrison." Kili kept the introductions going. "Harrison, my sister, Adelle."
"Adelle," the word slipped out of my brother's mouth as if he was in awe of her very existence. I looked over at him and noticed his eyes wide with adoration as he took her hand and kissed it. I wanted to tell him to stop being a fool right then and there, but he seemed to amuse Adelle greatly. She laughed as he released her hand.
"I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Harrison. Tell me, are you also from Georgia?"
"I am."
"I would very much like to hear about that little state. Would you accompany me to that couch yonder and tell me what you will about it?" She motioned across the room and he quickly accented, leaving me with Thranduil and Kili. I felt almost embarrassed at my brother's blatant show of attraction to Miss Sephene and found I had nothing to say. Kili struck up a conversation with Thranduil for a few moments before leaving us to greet more guests. Thranduil suggested we find a drink and I agreed.

"Are you alright?" He asked kindly as he handed me a glass of champagne.
"I am." I shook my head. "I apologize for how Harrison was acting just then."
"Why?" This brought a curious look from my husband.
"He seemed to be acting rather foolishly with Adelle..."
"Trina...it is not foolishness to act so around such a beautiful woman. And Adelle is used to such attentions. Indeed, I'm sure she would be upset if he did not react so."
"Ah." His words were not particularly comforting, but I tried to smile.
"I'm sure he shall get over it as soon as he returns to Georgia. We needn't worry." Well perhaps you will not worry. I, for one, will worry.

The evening could not be perfect, even after Harrison rejoined me. Thranduil excused himself and I knew he was going to speak to her. I had no proof that they were anything more than friends, though, so I tried my best to not dwell on it. Every once in a while, I would glance in their direction as they stood talking across the room. He always seemed happy, every time I looked. It wasn't very long before my brother began to notice the same thing.
"Trina..."
"Please do not speak, Harrison. It is my affair, not yours." So he turned away and began a conversation with Legolas, who was nearby, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I looked into the fireplace, trying to think of other things. I saw someone sit down beside me and turned to see my mother-in-law. She offered me a smile and I cautiously returned it.
"And how are you, Trina?"
"I am well. How are you, Mrs. Harland?"
"I also am well." Julia turned and I saw her eyes go to Thranduil and Adelle before going back to me. "Does it bother you?" It took me a moment to realize that she was asking a very insensitive question. When I did not reply, she gave a little laugh. "I can see that it does, but you should not let it, my dear. Men need to be entertained by things their wife cannot offer. I'm sure your mother would tell you the same if you had married a man in the South."
"On the contrary," I spoke calmly, but firmly. "I believe that men in the South are taught to be faithful to one woman."
"I see," Julia smiled again. "I had thought you would be one of those quiet, homely wives, Trina. I now see that you are not. Perhaps you would have done better to marry someone else."
"But I married your son. What he does is between us, I believe."
"So it is." She laughed again. "And I will say no more on the subject." She patted my knee gently before standing and walking off. My anger only continued to grow after she left. What kind of a place taught their men that their own pleasure was above the commitment to their wife? And it also aggravated me that I did not know whether Thranduil's mother was informing me of his activities, or informing me that it would be acceptable if he performed them. To me, neither was tolerable.

Chapter Text

The next day Thranduil stayed home with me while Legolas took Harrison out to show him some of his favorite places in Boston. We picked up the dusty copy of The Aeneid and began to read again. That felt really good. We stayed in that evening as well. We talked about things in general and then Thranduil started to open up just a bit about his education and living in Boston. He said he'd rather live here than anywhere else, though England was tempting. Then the next day, Kili came to say goodbye. Him and his sister had decided to go back to England. I couldn't say that I was disappointed. I was surprised that Adelle would not get to say goodbye to my husband, but as I came down the stairs for dinner that evening, I saw her walk out of the drawing room and to the door. She turned and looked at me, then walked out the door without a word. A moment later, Thranduil came out of the drawing room and offered me his arm to walk into dinner. He said nothing of the interaction and I did not ask.

You may think that my relationship with my husband improved much after Adelle's departure. You would be correct, though I attribute none of the following to her leaving. Thranduil and I conversed very freely and he would smile with me now. I found myself growing to enjoy time spent with him. Winter was upon us and with the great amounts of snow that Boston experienced, we found ourselves frequently indoors. We finished The Aeneid and moved on to Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes. The day after we began the book, Thranduil went out and bought an original Spanish version. He knew the language so he read select passages to me, then translated them. A week before Christmas, Harrison made his own departure from our home. He wished to spend the holiday with our family and though I was very sad to see him go, I could not blame him. I held him tightly the morning he left. I had stuffed his bags full of letters and small gifts for those at home. He had asked me so many times if I would go with him and here he made his final attempt.
"Sister, will you not come? I know you can be happy in the South."
"I am happy here." I smiled, trying to push back the tears that I knew would come. "And you are happy there, dear brother, so go."
"I will come again." He pulled me close and pressed his lips against my cheek.
"Write as soon as you reach home."
"I shall." He looked at me, then I heard him sigh. "Be careful, Trina. Take care of yourself."
"I will." I kissed him one last time, then he pulled away from me and climbed into his carriage. I stood at my door until the carriage disappeared.

Christmas passed with no real event. Thranduil had ordered our cook to make a feast on Christmas Eve and we ate a delightful meal. Christmas morning I awoke to find a small box on my nightstand. I opened it to find a silver necklace with a simple sapphire in it's center. I put it on with the blue dress that I had chosen to wear for the day and it fell just to the center of my chest. I smiled at the thoughtful gift. I had thought hard about what to get for my husband and had finally decided on some new fabrics to be made into new vests for him. The gift was not particularly personal, but I found it humorous given his emphasis on my clothing shortly after I had arrived. I gave Legolas new music for the piano and later that day he gifted me with a new book - The Prince by Machiavelli. A very welcome present.

When the snow finally began to thaw, I received three letters from home in the same day - a very unexpected circumstance. One was from Harrison. Apparently he was planning to travel again - perhaps through Europe. He could never stay home for very long. Another was from Jane, my close friend from home. She said that she was engaged...to Greyson Addler, the man who had flirted and slept his way through Georgia. The man who had spoken so discourteously to me before I left for Boston. The shock was incredible. I couldn't believe she could marry such a man. The third letter came from Asa. He thanked me for the letter I had written him. The very emotional letter about my feelings of loneliness in the North. I had revised the first draft, but nothing could hide how I had been feeling as I wrote that letter. He also informed me that though he probably should not be the first one to tell me, he simply hadn't had someone else to tell. Celeste was pregnant. It was very welcome news, but his letter was laced with the fear and dread that my brother-in-law was feeling. Since becoming involved with my sister, Asa had continually felt as if he was not good enough. With the news of his child on the way, he was now feeling especially inadequate. I wish I could have some words to comfort or calm him, but I had nothing to say to him that I had not said before. I loved him and was glad he had joined my family - he simply could not believe that he had not harmed Celeste's future by giving her the only thing she truly desired.

A day or two later I sat in my room, writing letters back to those I had just received, when there was a hasty knock at my door, followed by the door opening and Legolas entering my room. He shut the door quickly behind him and I turned to see the look on his face. It was very pale and his eyes were wide with fear. "Legolas?" I slowly stood. "What is the matter?"
"I need you. I...something happened. Please...mother...come with me." The way he addressed me was so foreign. He had never called me by that title and even his voice sounded different and very wrong. Something definitely had happened. I immediately grabbed my cloak and followed him out the door. It was the evening, just after dinner, and Thranduil had gone out with several of his friends. I followed Legolas downstairs and out the back door where we found Beth waiting. She also looked very frightened and immediately moved to Legolas's arms after he had secured the door behind us.
"What's going on?" I asked slowly as I watched Legolas caress the girl who clung to him. Her eyes went to his face and he looked at her for a moment before kissing her forehead and turning to me.
"Mother...she's pregnant."

I've never had to process something like that before. I never had to look at a young man who I had known for several months and grown to love and suddenly realize that he had entrusted me with the biggest secret of his life. And I didn't know what to do with that. And Beth...Beth was sixteen. She was still a child. How could she possibly...have a child...raise a child. I was nearly a decade older and I did not know how I could do such a thing. And how could Legolas be a father? Looking at him...he was a child as well. He looked so scared. And he had come to me for help. Me. And what was I to do? I was married to his father. And Thranduil would not like this. If any part of me was unbroken, it fell apart when I thought of Thranduil.
"We...we don't know what to do." Legolas finally said something. In his arms, Beth had begun to cry softly and it broke my heart. "We had to tell someone. Please tell us what we are to do."
I wanted to scream at them. Not out of anger for what they had done, but out of pain and anguish out of what was to come. How was either of them to have a life? How were they supposed to grow up? And it was supposed to work out...it's what I had been telling myself for months. I had told myself that the secrecy from my husband had been excusable because at some point, he would be able to see that Legolas and Beth loved each other and he would come around but...this. This would end any chance they had at Thranduil's acceptance. My silence caused Legolas's face to fall even further. He had to have sensed some of what was running through my head.
"Or is there nothing to be done?"
"No, Legolas, we will...we will talk and...think." I tried to smile, to give any kind of reassurance, but my heart was pounding uncontrollably and my brain would not stop racing through every bad scenario. "How long have you known?"
"We found out this morning."
"Does anyone else know?"
"No."
I had to have known what was going on. Yet, the thought had never once crossed my mind. I knew they loved each other, I knew they were children, but why had I not been more cautious? Why had I not asked more about their activities? Why had I not stopped this?
"We wish to be married," Legolas now spoke quickly. "Of course we've always wished to be married, but now it can be done immediately and there can be no objection. Perhaps we can go away somewhere and be married in secret. We could stay away until the baby is born then perhaps come back and see what has happened-"
"Legolas..." I stopped him gently. "Your father."
At the mention of him, Legolas's face darkened. "I have thought of him," he said harshly. "One more reason for him to be disappointed in the son he never wanted."
"Legolas...I do not know how we cannot tell him."
"We will not," Legolas said simply. "Not yet. Not until we have decided what to do. Beth and I will be married and then-"
"We cannot preform a marriage simply because she is pregnant." The custom of my time was to force the couple into a marriage, but I disagreed with the tradition. Especially after receiving the letter from my dear brother-in-law just this week. Beth could never be happy until she had gained at least some acceptance from Legolas's family. That acceptance would not come through a marriage from a pregnancy...and yet...what else could be done? "Let us think about this for a few days," I announced. "Beth, I believe you should tell your sister. She must know. If she wishes, I will speak to her on the subject." The girl nodded as she tried to dry her eyes. "Legolas, please come speak to me once you have said goodbye this evening." And with that, I left the two outside and went back into the house.

I walked up the stairs and back into my room. I sat down in one of the large chairs in my room, completely incapable of fully comprehending what I had just heard. How could she be pregnant? I had the urge to cry and laugh at the same time. It was so absolutely ridiculous while being the worst news I had ever heard. Of course a baby would be welcome, but now? To this family? Of all that I had endured so far, this evening was the worst of my experiences in the North. I sat there staring at the fire burning in my room and I desperately wanted someone, anyone, to talk to. The loneliness of being here rarely hit me anymore. Tonight, I felt almost nothing else. I wanted to sit across from someone who I knew would care and pour our my heart and pain to them. I wanted them to listen. I wanted them to advise me. I wanted them to love Legolas with me. I wanted a husband. I had always said that I could live without love, of course I could, but tonight I realized that I may not want to. In a desperate attempt to calm my emotions, I went to my desk and pulled out a piece of paper and pen and started to write a letter I knew could never be seen by anyone else.

Dear Thranduil,
I am all alone tonight and I do not wish to be. I wish to have you beside me, but I wish to have a version of you that wishes to know me as much as I wish to know you. Your...

No.

Our son has just told me that he is expecting a child. A baby. Beth is pregnant. But you know nothing of Beth. You don't know your son is in love with a beautiful young girl and you don't even care.

Here I stopped myself. I would not let this become a rant about Legolas.

I am frightened, dear husband. I am scared for our son and I am scared for the mother of his child. I stood there in front of them this evening and I was frightened. I did not know what to say to ease their mind. I did not know how to advise them. I needed someone wiser than I. I needed you beside me. But you were not there. Like so many other times that I needed you, you were not there.

I took a deep breath before continuing.

I want him to be a good father. I want him to love his child. I want him to raise this child to be a strong and good man or woman. I want to watch the child grow. I want to find joy in a new life. I do not know if our son knows how to do that. I was not here to raise Legolas, but you were. He is a good boy, our son, but...he had you as a father. Thranduil, I know you are a good man. Deep down, I believe you have to be, but our son doesn't see that in you. How can he attempt to raise a son so that his son sees that in him? How do I guide him in raising a child? And Beth...Beth has no mother. She is so young.

A tear fell on the paper as I wrote and it startled me. I had not noticed that I had begun to cry.

Thranduil, I do not know how I can do this without you. I don't know how they can do this without you. Now that I've seen you smile - I've seen you happy - I realize that I want that all the time. I want to see you, dear husband. I need you. Please don't leave me alone in this. Yet...how can I tell you? How can I tell you of this news when I know you will be angry. I do not know how you will chastise him. Will you have the girl sent away and Legolas banished from her forever? I do not know. I am afraid, Thranduil. Guide me. Show me what I am to do.

My hand went to my neck, where the necklace he had given me still hung.

No matter what happens...I will remain your faithful wife. As I promised, I will always obey and honor you. I will never leave you, so please do not leave me.

Your wife,
Trina Harland

I read the letter over once, then I folded it and placed it into an envelope. I sighed, then walked over to the fireplace and threw the letter into the flames. I would never let myself think those words again. It would not help to get emotional about the situation. It was simply a situation and I would face it head on. Like every other challenge I had face in this city, I would conquer once more.

Chapter Text

"Cuando la vida misma parece loco, que sabe dónde se encuentra la locura?" Thranduil's voice rang out clearly. "Tal vez ser demasiado práctico es una locura. Para entregar los sueños - esto puede ser una locura. El exceso de cordura puede ser locura - y más loca de todas: para ver la vida tal como es, y no como debería ser!" The way the Spanish words rolled off of his tongue was enchanting. His bright eyes went to mine and I held the gaze for a moment before looking down at the English translation in my hands.
"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!"
We were sitting in the drawing room, doing one of our favorite pastimes. Well if I was honest, it was the only pastime that Thranduil and I had together. We enjoyed it, though. And tonight, I thoroughly enjoyed hearing the Spanish words roll off his tongue.
"When did you learn Spanish?" I asked simply.
"At school in London. We were taught French and Spanish."
"I love hearing you speak it." As soon as I said the words, I wondered if I should have said them. They were rather forward, but he gave me a small smile as his eyes met mine.
"I assure you - I love hearing you speak in our native tongue just as much."

Chapter Text

I did not receive many visitors here. I spent most of my time with my husband, Legolas, or alone. And I had no problem entertaining myself in the empty house. But one day in March, I had a visitor. I was sitting in the sitting room about to have my afternoon tea when one of the servants came in and curtsied. "Yes?"

"A lady is here to see you ma'am."

"A lady? Who is she?" If I was honest, the only lady I knew here in Boston was Julia.

Chapter Text

It wasn't long before the anger dissolved into pain. And it wasn't so much the fact of him and Adelle...I wasn't thinking of that, I wasn't even interested anymore...I guess it just hurt that we had gotten along so well recently, we had been so...intimate...and here we were. Fighting again. Anytime I said anything of any value, it seemed, he was angry. He was leaving. I couldn't do anything with that. He spend the whole next day out of the house and I sat by the piano while Legolas played sad songs. That is, until a letter from Beth arrived, then he ran off to his room to read it and reply. They wrote every day without fail. It was pretty committed. They had such a pure and honest love. They were doing well. And though I didn't need that kind of love...I needed the purity and the honesty. I needed a man who would tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Every day. Every minute. For the rest of our lives. And I needed a man who could hear the truth. And I thought...I thought just maybe...for a little while...that just maybe...I could love Thranduil...if he could only be a man like that.

Thranduil didn't return for dinner, so Legolas and I ate alone. Legolas asked when his father was coming home and I simply didn't have an answer.
"I don't know," I replied simply.
"Did something happen?"
"He's just..."
"Being him?" Legolas replied with a small smile. "Did you have a fight?"
"We had an...argument."
"I'm not surprised. You and I are on the same team. That'll always happen with him."
"I hope not." And I did hope not...I wanted this to work. God knows I wanted this to work.

I went up to my room to read after dinner. I heard Thranduil's voice downstairs, but did not move from my seat. I still didn't know what to do about the situation, but I did know that I was not going to go to him. So I continued to read. I read so much that I finished my book. I had no more in my collection, so I decided to get one from the drawing room downstairs. I pulled the door open slowly, peaking out to listen for any movement. I had no desire to run into my husband. After ensuring that the coast was clear, I ventured into the hallway and down the stairs. It seemed as if everyone had gone to their respective bedrooms and I was the only one downstairs. I stepped confidently into the drawing room and over to the bookcase, but as I turned around, I noticed that the chair before the fire was not vacant. I wanted to slip out of the room unnoticed, but I did not see how I could. He turned and his eyes met mine for a moment before turning back to the fire.
"I was angry last night," he said simply. "I wish to ask your forgiveness." I stood there for a moment, half surprised at his apology, but the other half was still filled with frustration. I walked over and sank onto the sofa. I did not know how to reply. I wished to forgive him, but I felt there was a bigger issue at hand than his anger the night before.
"I do not know what to do, Thranduil." At these words, he turned towards me while I kept my eyes focused on the floor. "I wish to be your wife. I wish to be married to you. I wish to be happy..." Here I raised my eyes slowly to his. "But I do not see how I can do that." I took a deep breath. "If you wish for me to return to Georgia then tell me so." My voice shook as I spoke. "But please do not make a fool of me. I know you care for Adelle." I did not plan on this part of my speech, but as it came out I realized that it was exactly what I wanted to say. An expression of hurt and disbelief crossed his face.
"Trina, is this what you think of your husband? Do you believe that I could go to another woman while you waited in my house?"
"She is beautiful. She is perfect. I cannot blame you for desiring her." I cast my eyes down once again.
"Say no more of this! You are my wife and to you I will remain faithful." At this declaration, I looked at him. I could barely believe what had just come out of his mouth.
"What?" It was not only his words that surprised me, but the way he said them. As if I was foolish to even think that he could ever be with another woman.
"I have only ever wished to make you happy." Then he was standing and extending his hand to me. "I have failed, Trina, over and over, but I refuse to fail again." I was on my feet and he was drawing me closer. "Please allow me one more chance." And I kissed him. His hands slowly moved to my waist and he held me against himself. I felt possessed and...wanted. I was not a romantic person, I never had been, but in this moment I thought I felt true romance. It wasn't his words, it wasn't even the way he was kissing me right now, but it was the way he was making me feel. It was the way that his words and actions came together to express exactly what he felt and what I wanted to see and hear. It was being on the same page. I didn't think that tonight would be our last fight, but it was the largest step we had taken in the right direction. It was the closest we had been - physically and emotionally.

I woke early the next morning and dressed in a red dress that perfectly matched the ring that Thranduil had sent to me all those months ago. I went downstairs and met Thranduil at the breakfast table. He greeted me with a smile and right there...right there I knew that all of that joy and happiness I had felt in his arms last night had carried over into this morning. I bent down and pressed my lips into his before taking a seat at his side.
"How did you sleep?" He asked, folding his paper and setting it aside as he turned his attention to me.
"Very well." I had never been so happy to wake up and see those little angels in the fabric above me. "How did you sleep?"
"Also very well." He started into his breakfast and that prompted me to do the same. I was just so full of happiness and I could tell that Thranduil was happy, but he wasn't going to show it the same outward way that I was. I think he was even surprised when I kissed him this morning.
"Will you be going out today?"
"I have to meet with several people today and will be out until this evening."
"Ahh." It was unfortunate, but I was used to it.
"And I believe Legolas is going to be away for a day or two, I don't know if he has informed you."
"He had not. Where is he going?"
"My mother is taking a short trip to New York and wishes to take him with her." Poor Legolas. "And I have been thinking," he looked up at me, "what would you think about taking a trip sometime?" A trip with you?
"Where would we go?"
"I don't know yet, but I have not traveled much this past year and it is something I enjoy."
"Then we should travel." I smiled. I liked hearing that Thranduil had made some plan for the future. I liked knowing that he had thought about our future - even if it was only a little bit.

After lunch, I stood at the door while Legolas's trunk was loaded into the carriage. He gave me a look full of anquish at the thought of this trip with his grandmother. I simply smiled and wished him well. He kissed me goodbye then rode off in the carriage. Then I was left to spend the rest of the day anxiously waiting the arrival of my husband. Truth be told, I could not wait to see him this evening. I laid out both copies of Don Quixote in case he wanted to read, though they were always in the same place, made sure the servants would light the fire at the correct time, though they had never failed to do so, and generally tried to make sure things were comfortable. Several times I tried to sit and read, but the anticipation was too much for me. My eyes kept looking around the room at the bookshelves, the fireplace, the grand piano, the chairs...everything was exactly how it always was yet somehow didn't seem good enough. But at last the sun set and my husband returned home. I met him at the door and insisted on being the one to help take off his coat and hat. We then sat down to a late dinner that I had instructed the cook to keep warm for us. He seemed in a good mood, asking about my day then telling me openly about his own.
"I was anxious to see you," I told him, though I wasn't quite sure why I did.
"I must admit you did not leave my mind either." He reached out and took my hand, bringing it to his lips. "I am glad to see you at last."
"And I you." And it was just something in the way he looked at me. Something in his eyes that looked deep into mine, roused something in me that I had never felt before. Emotions became intensified and my desire for him began to grow. It felt as if everything inside of me had been asleep and suddenly in this moment it was all awakened. I suddenly knew what I wanted. "Will you spend this evening with me?"
"Of course." He waited a moment before speaking again. "Perhaps you would permit me to spend the night with you as well."

He decided to change into something more comfortable after dinner so I went to the drawing room to wait for him, but only a moment seemed to have passed before he appeared in the doorway. I felt his eyes on me. I stood with my back to him, my arms gently resting on the smooth surface of the piano in front of me. I tried to take deep breaths as my heart sped up, but my corset restricted my breathing, resulting in me taking rapid, short breaths. I heard his footstep against the wood floor and my heart jumped to my throat. I could feel his eyes slowly undressing me. Piece by piece, the fabric was torn away from my skin, leaving me naked and vulnerable. My arms wrapped around myself in a desperate attempt to cover my shame, but it was a useless practice. I had never done this before. But he had. He had felt a woman's skin against his own and enveloped her in himself with the bond that only two people in the bond of marriage could experience. When his fingers first touched the warm skin on my back, I inhaled sharply as my back arched, pulling away from him, yet pressing into him at the same time. He did not pull away, rather he stepped closer, meeting my body with his. His fingertips traced down my arms until his fingers intertwined with mine on each hand. He squeezed my fingers and I took it as a motion of reassurance, then he slowly turned me around and pulled me into a kiss. I let him hold my body against his, completely giving in to his touch. The candles in the room had been burning low, and as he lifted me onto the piano lid, all but the two on the mantle went out. In one swift motion, he had climbed onto the lid of the grand piano and hovered over me. I lay with my skin against the glossy wood of the piano, my hair falling gently over the edge onto the keys below as his hands held my waist, pulling me up just enough for our bodies to meet. My hands found his jaw, and they slid to either side of his face, my fingers threading through his long hair that had escaped the ribbon in his hair. As my chest heaved heavily against his, I tried to calm myself. He was my husband, this was okay. He was my husband. I had married him. I had...married...him.

Chapter Text

It felt very strange. Waking up the next morning to find that you were not alone in your own bed. I had spent less than a year in this bed, but it was familiar and comfortable to me, so to wake up with half of it occupied by another human being was very strange. I had woken very early and I clutched the sheets against my bare chest as I turned slowly to see Thranduil's sleeping form next to me. A small shaft of light came through a crack in the curtains and fell across him beautifully. He lay on his stomach with his head facing away from me. His long hair lay across one shoulder and spilled onto the bed between us. I could hear him breathing. I watched his back move every so slightly with each breath. It was the first time I had seen this much of him, or of any man. Last night had been dark, then he had carried me upstairs and to this bed. I didn't remember too much after that. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and rather vulnerable with nothing but a few sheets covering my body. Nobody had told me about this part. Nobody had really told me about any of it. And I didn't know what to do. Did I climb out of bed and quickly pull on a robe then leave the room to wait until he got up, or did I stay here and pretend to be asleep til he woke up and left? Would he leave when he woke up? The only thing I wanted to do was to get out of bed, so I slowly slid out from under the covers, quickly grabbing the silk robe by my bed and slipping it on, tying it tightly around myself. I walked softly into the ajoining room where there was a large bathtub and a servant who was filling it up with very hot water. She nodded me a goodmorning, obviously already having seen Thranduil or she would not be so quiet. I closed the door behind me and noticed that the servant had laid a light blue dress for me to wear today. I stepped towards the bathtub, but the servant whispered to me that it would be very hot if I got in now. So I sat down before the mirror there and waited for a few minutes while she finished other preparations, including adding flower petals to the bath. Once she left, I slowly slid off my robe and entered the warm water. It felt good to sit there for a few moments and let the water cover every part of my body. It was what I needed. The servant returned a few minutes later to aid me with the rest of my bath, then she helped me dry off and dress for the day. I told her I would like my hair done in this room, rather than the ajoining bedroom and she happiily complied. My hair was dried and my curls were put up in a small bun that allowed the rest of them to fall to my neck. I slid silver earrings into my ears and my serant hung the blue necklace I had got for Christmas around my neck. She applied light makeup then left me to sit in this room until I felt prepared to leave. The servant had gone into the other room to get my jewelry and makeup and had said nothing when she returned, though she would know now to. I slowly walked to the door between the rooms, then pushed it open, trying to remain confident. My eyes fell on the bed and I saw that it was empty. I looked at the door across the room that had to lead to his room and it was closed, as it always was. Two servants entered the room and dropped into curtsys before asking if they could make the bed. I said that they could and they busied themselves with pulling off the bed clothes and putting on new ones. There was no reason for me to remain in the room, so I walked out into the hall, took a deep breath, then headed for the stairs.

The breakfast table was empty, though a servant came to tell me that they had kept breakfast warm for me and would bring it out. I sat down, wondering where my husband was, when a few moments later, I heard him in the hallway. I got up from the table and walked out to see him coming down the stairs.
"Good morning," he told me pleasantly, though with no smile. "Did you sleep well last night?"
"I did," I replied in a strange voice that I did not recognize. "Did you eat breakfast already?"
"Yes, I have eaten." A male servant then walked down the hall and handed Thranduil his coat.
"Are you going out?"
"Yes, I have some business to attend to today. I should be back for dinner." He placed his hat on his head then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before walking around me and out the door. I stood there in the middle of the floor feeling rather confused. Was this the way people acted on a morning such as this? Then I immediently felt foolish for placing such weight on an action that was normal to so many. Of course he was going out today like he always did. I walked back to the breakfast table and ate in silence, not knowing what to do or say.

I tried to read again today, but like yesterday, it would not hold my attention. I couldn't stop staring at the piano. So I moved to another room. I couldn't read in that room either. I had started to stare at myself. At my hands. At my arms. In every mirror I walked past, I stared at my face. I looked exactly the same as I had looked yesterday and the day before and the day before that. But inside my head I felt different. I felt like I was no longer me. I felt like I had sold myself to him. But I hadn't. I forced myself to remain confident. Just because it felt like he now owned my body didn't mean that he owned me. I was still the independent Southern girl who had married him. I was still Trina, even if I was Trina Harland who had slept with her husband, Thranduil. And that was okay. I desperately wanted to speak about it. I wished to sit down and write my sister a letter, or to have some friend come who I could pour my heart out to...but I couldn't talk about it. It was the unspoken rule that you simply didn't speak about having relations with your husband. You just didn't. So I sat staring at myself and I sat trying to read. Until a few hours after my husband had left, when my son entered the house. I had never been so glad to see somebody in my life.
"Legolas!" I must have sounded crazy with how much excitement was in my voice. "I'm so glad you're home! How was your trip!" Then he just looked at me and I think that was all the answer I needed. "You're home early, are you not?"
"I am." He spoke with a voice full of anger and frustration.
"Is everything okay?"
"She knows about Beth."
"I...I know..."
"She demanded that I stop seeing her then resorted to threats. She said she knows people who can shut down Mary's shop and get her thrown out of the city."
"I'm sorry..."
"Who the hell does she think she is saying things like that to me?" The young boy was fuming and understandably so. My anger was immediately kindled against Thranduil's mother. She could say what she wanted to me and out of respect for my husband, I wouldn't retaliate...but she couldn't speak to my son like that. But the only person who I thought could have some sway with her...had no idea about Legolas's little secret...and I didn't even know if he would be on my side about it.
"What would you like for dinner?" I tried to change the subject, forcing myself to smile as I brushed the messy hair out of Legolas's face. "Let's have something that you really want. And we'll spend the afternoon together. We'll forget about this. Beth is safe in Georgia. Your grandmother doesn't know where she is and can't reach her there." At this realization, Legolas nodded, then leaned forward and rested his head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him gently, knowing he must be utterly exhausted from worrying. "I'm on your side," I whispered. I would always be on his side. Every part of every day. In every argument. I would take his side. And I honestly felt like I was the only one who would.

We spent the afternoon together. I had to talk him out of playing the piano for my own sake. We read plays together in his room and acted out our favorite parts. I found out that he was a great fan of Shakespeare and read King Lear very well. When we came downstairs for dinner, we found Thranduil coming out of his room, no doubt having just changed after getting home. He didn't acknowledge Legolas, but held out his arm to me. "Hello, Thranduil." I took his arm and smiled at him and he nodded in return. Nothing more. We walked down to dinner and I started to ask Thranduil about his day. He started to talk to me, though he wasn't in a particularly good mood.
"Legolas," he suddenly turned to his son, who sat across from me. "Your grandmother sent me a message today saying that you had left New York early to return home. Why did you not stay with her as she wished you to?"
Legolas's eyes went to mine before replying. "I could not stay with her anymore Father," he said confidently. It didn't seem to please Thranduil.
"I do not care what you could or could not do. She is your grandmother and she wished to spend time with you."
"With respect, father, I do not believe she wished to spend time with me. She wished to chastise my faults and belittle me, nothing more." The anger was beginning to show in Legolas's voice and I looked over at Thranduil, who was also growing angry.
"You will not speak that way about your grandmother," he said in a very icy tone.
"I will-" Legolas started, but then he looked at me and stopped. "I apologize father, I meant no disrespect." Thank you, Legolas, thank you. Thranduil narrowed his eyes at his son, but then said nothing more. I wanted to start up a happier conversation, but neither man seemed interested in talking, so we sat in silence.

Legolas went up to his room after dinner even though I invited him to spend the evening with me and his father. He was not interested. So Thranduil and I walked into the drawing room and I sat down by the fire. He looked around the room for a moment, then sat in his chair.
"Shall we read?" I asked.
"You may read. Read out loud to me." It was more like an order than a request. I picked up the book and turned to the place where we had last left off. I began to read in the clearest voice that I could muster. All I wanted to do was to stare at his face. I wanted to examine every part of him that I couldn't see in the dark. I wanted to touch him again. I wanted him to want me. I wanted to hear him say my name. I wanted to exercise our right. I wanted him to do something. But he just sat there, staring at the fire, as my voice rang out through the silence.
"“Woman is made of fragile glass;
but do not put her to the test
to see if she will break,
for that might come to pass.
She is too apt to shatter,
and wisdom is surely ended
if what can ne'er be mended
is put in the way of danger.
What I say to you is true,
and let us all agree :
wherever Danae may be,
showers of gold are there, too.”

So I read. Then he said that he was tired and was going to bed. Then he left. No kiss. Not even a goodnight. I heard him walk up the stairs then I heard his door close. I slowly rose to my feet, put the book that I was reading down, then walked out of the room. I climbed the stairs one-by-one, then walked down to my door. I looked over at the door that led to my husband's room. The room he had just disappeared into without saying anything to me. I didn't want to end the night like this. I wanted more. I pushed my door open and a few minutes after entering my room. I walked over to my mirror and stood there for a moment, then slowly undid my necklace and lay it down by my jewelry. My earrings were next. I knew a servant would be in to help me undress soon, but...my eyes went over to the one door in my bedroom that I had never opened. It went to his room. Then I found myself walking towards it. I tried to tell myself to stop and that this was ridiculous, but I couldn't. It was only when I had reached the door and put my hand on the handle that I stopped. I couldn't do anything more, I simply couldn't. It wasn't my place. So I turned and took a step away, but then I stopped again. And why wasn't it my place? Because I was the woman? Because I was wife to a very dominant man? Well damnit, I didn't care. He wasn't going to be the only one who was going to decide. I turned around and pulled the door open before I could stop myself. And there he stood. He was across the room from me, standing with his back to the door I had just opened. He had removed his shirt and was looking at something in his hands. At my bizarre entrance, though, he suddenly turned, putting down what he was holding. A look of confusion crossed his face and I didn't hesitate. I walked across the room and kissed him. At first, I thought he might pull away and he did a moment later, looking at me with the confusion still in his eyes. But then he put his hands on my waist and pulled me against him as he kissed me again. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers made their way through his long hair. Then he was pushing me backwards and a moment later, I hit his mattress. He broke the kiss to move his lips to my neck, working his way down to my chest. I moved my hands to his shoulders and pushed him onto his back, climbing over him and pressing my lips against his once more. His hands went to the back of my dress and I felt him quickly undoing it, then he pulled it off my shoulders and pushed it down to my waist. Then he was over me again as his fingers worked at my corset. Once skin was finally touching skin, his lips moved to my neck again and I tangled my fingers in his hair as his teeth closed around my skin. I pulled his head back up to mine forcefully and his fingers found their way down my body. My back arched against the mattress as I pulled him as close to me as I could, wishing to touch him in every way possible. He knew how to do it. He knew how to pleasure me in the best way. He knew the right speed, he knew when to stop and when not to stop. He knew when to kiss my lips and when to touch my body. And it was perfect. I couldn't have been happier when, for the second night in a row, I slept next to my husband.

Chapter Text

It was nice - I could admit that. It was nice to feel his arms around me in the middle of the night. It was nice to trace my fingertips down his skin. It was nice to wake up and feel his fingers running through my curls. Those few hours we lay in bed together were the moments I cherished. Knowing every part of his body made me feel like his wife. Allowing him to know me made me feel like I could trust him. Wanting him made me feel like just maybe there was hope for true happiness and maybe even love. Maybe. But there was still so much I didn't know if him. I wanted to know what lie underneath his skin. I wanted to feel his heart - his thoughts. I wanted to know my husband more than what he let me know under the covers. I wanted to hear words other than my name whispered into my ear. I wanted him, not just his body.

"You must forgive me for this question, Lizzie, but...what did you know of me and my husband before you visited me that day?" I looked over at the beautiful, smiling woman, knowing she would be gracious with such a question.
"A lady called upon me just a few days after I moved here. She told me of every woman in town." Here, she laughed. "I knew it was silly to listen, but I was curious. She told me you were a good woman." A good woman.
"This was not Mrs. Julia Harland, was it?" I knew a few names in Boston, now, but Thranduil's mother was still the only lady I really knew aside from Lizzie.
"Oh no," Lizzie laughed again. "This was Mrs. Earnest." I had heard the name, though not spoken to the lady personally
"Oh...and what did Mrs. Earnest say of me?"
"She told me the story of the advertisement...she mentioned a bit of your husband..." Here, I smiled with her.
"And what did she say of him? Forgive me if I am prying too much."
"Oh no, dear, it is your business we are speaking of. She simply said that he had a child with another woman...was rather...cold..and that you were not very like him." All true. "I have not yet met your husband, so I do not know if these things are so."
"I believe they are," I said simply. "And I'm sure you shall meet my husband one of these days."
"You will forgive me if I am frightened to do so," Lizzie chuckled.
"And I am very anxious to meet your husband."
"Oh yes! He has heard of you and is anxious to meet you as well! He simply rarely leaves the house and never accepts visitors while he is writing..." She sighed here, then smiled again. "But such is the life of an author!"
"I am glad you have visited me, Lizzie, and I am glad we have gotten to speak several times. Though you have heard some of me, I have heard very little of others in this city. I find myself usually alone."
"I love to pay calls! I am always excited when someone answers the door!" She laughed again and I found myself laughing with her. She was so cheerful and full of life. Maybe this is what people were like when they had a happy life...and a husband who they loved and who loved them. "May I ask though, dear Trina, if you do not speak to many people so often, then why was your name the first that was brought to my ear?"
"That, I do not know, Lizzie..." And indeed I didn't know...I did not know why anyone wished to speak about me. I could only think that it had something to do with my husband and his story before our marriage. That or people were just fascinated with the South. Though, as Lizzie had mentioned, the unrest between the South and the North made that rather unlikely. "Did you.." I started before thinking about what I wanted to say.
"Did I what, dear?" Lizzie was curious, her large eyes searching mine. "Please do not be afraid to ask me anything. I am at your full disposal for information." But it did not seem right. It was not even my business, never mind hers.
"No, no, I beg you to forget it."
"Please, Trina." She reached out and took my hand in hers. "Ask me anything you wish." Well...
"I was...simply wondering if you had been told anything else about Thranduil's first wife...the one whom he had Legolas with."
"Ahh," Lizzie smiled. "I was told a bit, but not much." I could not pry more. I could not. "Oh do not worry, dear!" Lizzie smiled earnestly. "I will not breathe a word of what I know to anyone." I could be thankful for that...though what was the use when I knew nothing myself.

I had dinner with my husband and son again that evening. Thranduil questioned me about my day, not being unkind, but being his usual inquisitive self. I told him that Lizzie had visited again and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"I'm not sure if I like this woman. I should like to meet her before you become too close to her."
"I should like nothing better than to introduce her to you." I smiled, choosing to be happy at his interest rather than annoyed at his dominance. I caught Legolas's eyes and he was giving me a very strange look.
"Legolas," My husband started. "I wish to bring up the subject of England to you again."
"England?" I spoke before thinking.
"Yes, I have mentioned several times to Legolas before that I spent time in England learning and he should do the same."
"I do not wish to go to England, father." Legolas was already angry.
"Yes, I am well aware of the fact, but I still think you should go. I have been speaking to your grandmother and-"
"Why do you persist in speaking to her about me?" Legolas was suddenly very loud. "Her idea of raising you was to hire another woman to do it then to ship you off to England! I very much doubt she knows how to raise a-"
"Enough!" Thranduil's voice was louder, immediately silencing the boy. "Regardless of my mother's wishes, I shall send you to England if I see fit."
"Well I do not see fit."
"You are not the one who decides, Legolas."
I quickly tried to remedy the situation. "But wouldn't you like England, Legolas? I know you do not like to travel, but perhaps once you are settled there, you would enjoy the change of scenery." Legolas's face seemed a mix of utter shock and disappointment and I suddenly realized that I had said exactly the wrong thing. I had unknowingly taken Thranduil's side against him. He rose from the table and walked off, leaving me to feel very ashamed and his father to feel simply angry.
"It is best for him," Thranduil said suddenly. "He cannot sit around the house with no real friends making no real progress in anything."
"Perhaps, but...you cannot force him to go."
"I'm sure I can."
"But I beg you not to." I raised my eyes to meet those of the man I'd married. "Please do not make him any more unhappy."
"He has no reason to be unhappy," Thranduil said firmly. "He knows nothing of trouble and pain. It would do him good to go to a new place and be forced to grow." I couldn't disagree with the fact that it may do him good to leave...but he did know something of trouble and pain. The mother of his child was forced to leave him just a few weeks ago and he was still dealing with the gravity of the situation. Forcing him to leave for England now would not be wise. I hoped that Thranduil's...respect...for me would allow me that much.

I carefully climbed the stairs up to Legolas's room. I had told him I would always be on his side and I could not forsake that promise. I would stand by him, as simple as that. I knocked on the door and when there was no reply, I slowly opened the door to find Legolas writing at his desk. A letter to Beth, no doubt.
"Legolas I wish to speak to you."
"I do not want to talk to you," Legolas said harshly.
"Legolas, please-"
"No!" Legolas shot a glare at me before returning to his letter. "I thought we were together on this."
"Of course we are, Legolas."
"No, we aren't." Legolas suddenly rose from his desk and turned towards me. "You said you would always be on my side against him."
"Legolas, I don't wish to be against your-"
"You said that you would be there for me."
"I am always-"
"No!" Legolas's hands formed into fists and he dropped them uselessly against his sides as he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them once more. "I know that you are with him."
"With him? Well I'm married to-"
"I know you are sleeping with him." At this declaration, my mouth dropped open and I simply stared at him. "You promised that you would stand by me. Well you can't very well do that when you are in the same bed as the man who makes my life miserable day after day after day. He doesn't..." the anger showed in his voice, "he doesn't care enough about me to find out that I am in love with someone! And he doesn't even know that she is in Georgia with your family because she's about to have my baby!" Here his tone slowed. "He doesn't care about me...and he doesn't care about you either. Just because he's willing to share his nights with you doesn't mean that he will ever love you. You aren't the first one he's been with, Trina, and I don't believe you're the only one now. I know he slept with her too, when she was here...and I'm sorry about that. I just...I just hoped that you would realize. I thought that you knew. I thought you knew that he was like that. I thought you'd be careful. I really need you on my side...but right now you're on his side. So go back downstairs and climb in bed with him. It's what you really want anyway."

I stumbled downstairs in a state of shock. To have Legolas know that I was sleeping with Thranduil was one thing, but to...to have him take it like that. To hear him say those things...my heart was beating quickly as I walked into my room. I immediately noticed that the door between my room and my husband's was open. It was unusual since I knew that Thranduil had gone out for the evening, right after dinner. He couldn't possibly be back yet. One of the servants must have forgotten and left it open. Still, I walked towards the door, though I didn't know why. I didn't want him now...I had a different craving. I craved to know him, not just his body. As one thing became more familiar, another became increasingly mysterious. Legolas's declaration about "her" and Lizzie's knowledge of his first wife prompted an investigation. His room was very tidy, aside from his desk, which was scattered with papers. I wandered over to it, recognizing my husband's handwriting on the top letter. It was a business letter which had been started, but a mistake was made so another letter must have finished the task. I pushed it aside to reveal two more such letters. Under those was a few blank sheets of paper and then...then there was a letter which lay there unopened. I picked it up and examined the address on the front. It was not the address of this house and it was written by a lady, telling from the style of the script. There was no other name but my husband's on the front. A small fear gripped at the corner of my heart and a moment later it grew to consume me as I looked down at a paper that had been laying beneath it with only two words written in Thranduil's handwriting at the top.

Dear Adelle,

Chapter Text

Jameson Feild was a wealthy young man who had grown up in Connecticut, just minutes from the coast. Like many young men in Boston, he was a writer who had been forced to make his own way for most of his life before the death of a relative had left him with a good sum of money. He traveled much after coming into his fortune and with his investments was in no danger of losing such wealth. Unlike many writers of the time, he did not have to write to make his way, yet he did so out of the pure enjoyment of the pastime. He was attractive and amiable, though was not always the party-going type.

Or so I was told.

I met Jameson at a party thrown by Mrs. Earnest, the very lady who had spoken so well of me to Mrs. Abel. I received the invitation and brought it immediately to Thranduil, asking if he wouldn't like to come with me. His first response was to tell me that he had no interest in the party, but when I mentioned that I would attend whether he did or not, he changed his mind. So I got dressed up in that beautiful purple gown that Julia had made for me - the one with the empire waist, embroidered neckline and puffed sleeves. I slid on my gloves as my servant hung Thranduil's necklace against my throat. Then I walked downstairs to take Thranduil's arm, giving one last glance at the stairs which led up to Legolas's bedroom. He hadn't spoken to me since that evening a few days ago and I had barely seen him. Something told me that a few silent days may help him, but I wished for nothing more than to have our relationship back. But I climbed into the carriage with my husband. As much as I loved my son, I could not stand against my husband. In all ways but one. I would continue to hide the secret of Beth and the baby. Nothing more. I slid my hand into his as the carriage pulled away from our house. Right now, my relationship with Thranduil was the most important thing.

I found myself alone for most of the evening as my husband found a few gentlemen he knew and was anxious to speak to. I stood in a group of ladies who I barely knew and listened to their conversation until I had no connection to what they were saying anymore. I was sad to see that Lizzie was not at this party, leaving me with no one to really talk with. That is, until Mrs. Earnest greeted me and a moment later, we were approached by aforementioned Mr. Feild. "Mrs. Harland, do you know Mr. Feild?" I looked at this tall man who smiled at me. It was a slightly mischievous smile that was big enough to extend to every area of his face without showing any of his teeth.
"I don't believe I've had the pleasure." I offered him my hand and he brought it to his lips as he gave a slight bow.
"Jameson Feild. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Harland. I have heard of you in my short time here in Boston."
"I shall leave you to get acquainted," Mrs. Earnest said before hurrying away to greet the next guest. I turned to the gentleman beside me and gave him a small smile, feeling very uncomfortable at being left alone with a man whom I did not know.
"You will forgive me, Miss Harland, but I have been very anxious to meet you."
"It's Mrs. Harland," I corrected him gently. "Thranduil Harland is my husband."
"Ah, please forgive me," he said quickly. "I do not know the man. Is he here tonight?" He began to scan the room and I joined him until my eyes rested on Thranduil, who was standing in a small group across the room. Mr. Feild saw where I was looking and gave a small nod. "The gentleman there."
"Yes, that is him."
"Ah." What an awkward conversation we were having. He was anxious to change the subject. "Have you been enjoying yourself this evening?"
"I believe I have, Mr. Feild."
"Well, Mrs. Harland, perhaps we could be a little more friendly, if you would allow." He smiled at me again. "Please, call me Jameson."
"I don't know if it would be proper, Mr. Feild." I folded my hands against my skirt. "I hardly know you."
"I have been presumptuous." Again, Mr. Feild was apologetic. "Please forgive me."
"Of course." It was the only thing I could say.
"I'm a writer you see and I am not much of a party-goer. I do not find myself out much."
"Then perhaps you should go out more."
"I see, you are saying I could do with a little more practice." He smiled again. "I take no offense for I heartily agree with you. Do you like parties?"
"Some of them. Though I find myself missing a close friend."
"A close friend?"
"Elizabeth Abel."
"Ah." Here he looked slightly confused. "I know the name, but not the lady."
"She is married to a writer, perhaps you would know him."
"Perhaps I do. Do you know his name?"
"I do not."
"Then I'm afraid I cannot tell," he smiled again.
"Mr. Feild, you will excuse me for this question, but what prompted you to be so anxious to meet me when you did not know the very common detail of me having a husband?"
"I'm afraid you will think me very impertinent at the answer." He chuckled.
"I should care to know anyways," I stated firmly, very curious as to why everyone seemed to know my name before I knew theirs.
"I was speaking to a lady - the very one hosting this event - and she mentioned you to be a very good and beautiful woman. With that description, I should think anyone would be anxious to meet you."
"I should think that description may be hard to live up to." I smiled ever so slightly.
"I assure you that you are doing wonderfully."
"Well," here I intended to end the conversation, "I thank you for the compliment. Now if you will excuse me, I shall rejoin my husband. It is getting late and I am anxious to get home to my son."
"A wife and a mother. I see Mrs. Earnest left much out of your description."
"I see that she has. Excuse me." I gave a slight curtsy, then turned to see Thranduil's eyes watching me from across the room. I wondered at his determination not to join me, but he seemed satisfied when I took my place by his side. He simply reached down and took my hand as his attention was drawn back into the conversation.

"Who was that man who you spoke to for some time at the party?" Thranduil asked as we re-entered our home.
"His name is Mr. Jameson Feild. He approached me and I was introduced. I find him considerably boring." I accompanied this description with a smile and my husband gave me a very amused look.
"Did you? I do not recognize the man, so I wondered at you speaking to him for so long unaccompanied."
"I was curious to see why he would have approached me. I do not believe he will do so again after my pointing you out to him." At this, Thranduil was the one to smile. I thought he would be pleased.
"And I hope you will point me out to any gentleman who approaches you at a party."
"I believe I shall." I placed my hand on his chest as I kissed him briefly.
"Come, my dear," Thranduil said with a smile, "let us go to bed."

I had not forgotten the letter - no, nor the conversation with Legolas. I had simply decided that other things were more important. I did not know the state of my husband's heart nor what he had done over the course of the past year of our marriage. I only knew that I cared deeply for him and that I wanted to have a true relationship with him. That relationship could only start with effort - my effort. And hopefully...one day...Thranduil would see fit to put in the effort as well. I was now seeing that I could have a full and happy life with him and that I wanted to. So, for the greater good, I would ignore the situation with Adelle and focus on my marriage.

A day or two after the party I went out shopping. Now I was not lacking in the area of clothing, but I was in the area of reading material, so when I kissed my husband goodbye that morning, I informed him that I would be going to a bookstore or two in town. He gave his permission, though he did not know I would go with or without it, and I went happily into town that morning. I went first to a bookstore that was only a street or two away from Mary's shop, intending to look in on her afterwards. The selection of books was magnificent and it wasn't long before I found myself lost in one of them. Unfortunately, it did not last long.
"Are you fond of reading?" The man's voice startled me and I looked up to see Mr. Feild standing there.
"Oh, Mr. Feild," I immediately closed my book as I tried to smile. "What a surprise to see you here."
"I believe my surprise is far greater, Mrs. Harland. As you see, there are not many women in the shop."
"Yes," I tried to smile again, but failed for the second time. "I am fond of reading."
"I'm pleased to hear it." He paused for a moment before bringing up the party where we had been introduced. "You must allow me to ask your forgiveness for that night. I went home thinking myself a fool."
"I admit I went home with a similar description." I smiled, a real smile this time.
"Then please allow me the opportunity to prove myself more to you. Come, Mrs. Harland, will you not shake my hand and let us be friends?" He extended his hand to me and I hesitated a moment before placing mine into his. He smiled, shaking my hand briefly before bringing it to his lips. Perhaps it would not be a bad idea to be friends with the gentleman.
"And what brings you to a bookshop this morning, Mr. Feild. Are you also fond of reading?"
"I am," he nodded. "Though I do not have much time for it." He smiled again then looked down at the book he had been holding. "I stopped in this morning to see this, though." And he held the book out to me. I took it, glancing over it's plain brown cover with gold letters spelling out the title: THE GREAT UNDOING. And beneath it, in smaller gold letters, the author: Jameson Feild.
"Oh, Mr. Feild, this is your book!" I immediately opened it and began flipping through the pages, fascinated to be looking at a book whose author was standing before me.
"It came in this morning from the printers. I admit, I am as excited as you seem to be at its arrival."
"I am," I turned my wide eyes to his now as I gave him a smile. "What is it about?"
"It is a bit of a satire on politics, perhaps not anything that would interest you-"
"I assure you, Mr. Feild, just because I am a lady does not mean that I do not like to read books on politics." I then stopped myself and we both smiled at my hasty response. "I would like to purchase one to read though, if you would allow."
"Of course. It would be a great pleasure to me to know you were reading my book." At his words, I felt my cheeks turning red as I realized I may have been a bit overexcited at the situation and I may need to remedy it.
"My husband and I read in the evenings. Perhaps he would like to read it with me." I hoped bringing my husband into the conversation would remind him of my situation, but his expression of amusement did not change.
"Perhaps he would. After you are finished here, Mrs. Harland, would you allow me to escort you home?"
"Ah," I avoided his eyes. "I am actually visiting a friend this morning and will not be heading home, but I thank you for your offer."
"Very well then." He knew not to push and I was grateful. "I shall bid you farewell then. I hope we may see each other again soon so you may tell me what you think of my book."
"I hope we shall," I said sincerely. He gave me a slight bow then headed out the door, leaving me with his book in my hands. I found myself smiling as I purchased the book and left the shop to go to Mary's. It made me happy that I was now beginning to make friends here. And though Mr. Feild - Jameson - could not be seen as a close friend, for that would be improper, perhaps...perhaps he could be an acquaintance...a friend...nonetheless. And I knew that no matter what I had said, my husband would not be joining me in reading his book.

Chapter Text

If I spoke the truth, I had been...nervous to speak to Legolas. I gave him a few days, but knowing that we were not friends was too much to bear on the third day. I received a letter from my mother and it was the perfect opportunity.

I left my room and began the climb up to my son's room. I was hesitant, but determined. I could not go another day without resolving our differences. I did not believe that it was me he was mad at - but the situation he found himself in. I knocked on his door, but there was no answer. I knocked again and on receiving more silence, I slowly opened the door, only to find the room empty. It was then that a few soft notes finally reached my ears. He was playing the piano. I quickly turned and made my way downstairs to the drawing room. I stood in the doorway for a few moments, just watching him play. He sat in his white shirt, his long hair pulled back hastily in a black tie. It was a melancholy tune he played, yet it was not a simple one. His fingers moved effortlessly over the keys as he put his heart into one of his favorite pastimes. After a moment, I moved into the room and sank into a chair, not wishing to disturb him. But he was finished - now sitting at the piano, looking at the keys which a moment earlier had been caressing his fingers. "I'm sorry." I was surprised to hear him speak. "I spoke out of turn. It was unkind." He then turned and his blue eyes - that so perfectly matched his father's - turned on me. "You deserve the best and...though I cannot see it...if my father can make you happy..." He exhaled and turned back to the keys. "He is your husband and I have no right to speak against that."
I waited a moment then spoke. "I am sorry if you felt betrayed, Legolas. I disagree with your father on many things, but he is my husband. And yes...he does make me happy."
"Then we will say no more of it." And Legolas immediately switched to a more cheery tone. "I see you have a letter in your hand."
"I do. My mother wrote to me to tell me how well Beth is doing in Georgia. She has been accepted as one of the family."
"She has told me the same," Legolas smiled. "I cannot thank you or your family enough for what they are doing for her."
"I am just glad she is doing as well as she is."
"I cannot wait to see her." Legolas's smile faded and he desperately tried to put it back. "I miss her."
"Come, we must think more happily." I smiled, bringing one back to his face. "What do you say we have for dinner tonight?"

I read the book. The book by Mr. Jameson Feild. The Great Undoing turned out to be a rather amusing rant on the state of American politics. It spoke of the growing tensions between the North and the South, highlighting issues of slavery and property. It was interesting to read a mindset that came from a Northern background when my own was so decidedly Southern. As soon as the book was finished, I wished to congratulate Mr. Feild on it, but...I could not do that. As a woman, and a married woman, there was no I acceptable way for me to contact him. So I threw a dinner party, inviting him and a few of Thranduil's friends. I wished to have Lizzie at the party, but she was visiting relatives out of state. Mr. Feild first replied with a positive response, but the day of the party, sent me a short note with his regrets. So there I was, sitting at a table, hosting a dinner party with a group of people I did not really wish to see. It was in the midst of the dinner conversation about things I could not care less about, that I realized how silly I was being. I caught the eye of my husband, who sat at the other end of the table, and his bored expression matched my thoughts exactly. But we were good hosts, careful to say all the right things and make the right motions. The time for our guests to leave could not come soon enough, though, and the moment the door was closed after the last of them, Thranduil made me promise that we would not host guests again soon. It was a promise I could easily make.

As soon as Lizzie returned from her trip, she called on me. She found me sitting in the drawing room and instantly flew to my side, collapsing on the sofa beside me. I put aside the book that I was reading and took a look at her distressed face.
"Oh, Trina," she began. "I had to speak to you."
"What is it?"
"I think my husband is having an affair with another woman."
"Oh, Lizzie..."
"It's true - I'm sure he's seeing someone else."
"And what makes you say this?"
"He used to always say that I was his inspiration, but lately we have hardly seen each other and he has written...so much. We barely speak two words to each other, but I know he's sent in two drafts to his publisher in the past two weeks. He's never written this easily before and..." Now she was on the verge of tears. "And I've never felt so distant from him. He must have found someone else because he's absolutely thriving in his office..."
"Lizzie, Lizzie," I reached out and took her hand as she began to cry. "You do not know that means he is with another woman." I spoke gently, not wishing to upset her further, but to show her that all hope was not yet lost. "Perhaps he is writing about something he loves or...I don't know, he suddenly feels full of inspiration for some other reason. Do not rush to assume that it is another woman."
"Then why won't he speak to me?" Lizzie turned her red eyes on me. "Why does the man that I married refuse to leave his office to say goodnight to his wife?"
"I...I don't know..."
"And does - does he think I just won't notice? Does he even care what I think?" And here she began crying again.
"Lizzie, you must try to control yourself. It will do you no good to go on like this."
"Then what am I to do?" She attempted to sit up and wipe away her tears.
"Well you must speak to him. I'm sure he would be willing to clear up any misunderstanding."
"You don't know my husband," she laughed a little as she shook her head. "Sometimes I have no clue why I married him." Well I could understand that... "I knew you would be the one to ask for advice," she said as she turned to me again.
"Me? Why should I give advice on this subject?"
"Well because-" But she suddenly cut herself off and a look of embarrassment crossed her face. And then I knew why. I looked down at my hands in my lap and Lizzie immediately apologized. "You must forgive me, dear Trina. I spoke out of turn and...I heard a rumor and assumed it true. Please accept my apology."
"Of course you would assume such a thing about my husband." My tone came out harsher then I meant it to. "Of course everyone would."
"Trina, please forgive me." Lizzie's voice was now small and quiet. I sighed and turned again to her, forcing myself to smile.
"Of course. Now, please excuse me. I have some business at home to attend to."
"Of course." Lizzie stood, wiping the last of the tears from her cheeks. "Goodbye." She gave me a brief curtsy then left the room. I was not angry at her, though she may think I was. No, I was angry at the fact that these rumors were being spread. Angry that nothing in my marriage seemed to be sacred. Angry that everyone seemed to know of Adelle.

Later, as I lay in bed with Thranduil, my head resting on his chest, his breathing evened out with sleep, I thought again of the letter. The letter written to a woman he had sworn no connection with, but who still seemed to have a hold on him. I wondered if he had even finished the letter I had found. I wondered if he did, if he had ever sent it. I wondered if they still kept contact. I wondered for how long they had, or how long they would. I wondered how angry he would be if I brought up her name again. For right now, I could say that I was truly happy in my marriage. I had a husband who provided for me, I had a lover, I had a man who would be jealous for me, I had a partner, I had someone to spent my evenings with, my nights with...I had, in every sense, a mate. And if for some reason, that mate was writing to another woman...did I wish to know? For that knowledge could disrupt the happy marriage that I was so very much enjoying. So I would bury what I knew. I would ignore any signs of unfaithfulness. I would let myself be happy, even if it was built on a lie. For now. I closed my eyes and focused on my skin touching his. And it was then I realized that I could push everything away and refuse to acknowledge it...but then there would be nights where I would lay awake and in the pit of my stomach, I would feel fear that the man I was touching so intimately would never feel the same way about me that I felt about him. And that fear would only grow. And one day, I believe, it would have to come out.

Chapter Text

I sat before my mirror, looking over the work my servant had done his morning. My hair was pulled up in a bun with only a few curls escaping it. I wore diamond earrings, a recent gift from Thranduil, and, as usual, the necklace he had given me at Christmas hung down against my chest and the ruby ring decorated my finger. I gave a slight sigh as I looked myself over. Another day of playing the wife. Only it wasn't just playing for me. Even if it was for him. I stood up and walked downstairs, intending to go out for the morning. I found Thranduil in the drawing room, apparently deciding to stay home today, though he never really told me his plans. He looked up when I entered and looked me over. He seemed to approve.
"Are you going out?"
"I am. I was going to shop this morning." Thranduil looked back down at the paper he was reading.
"Get whatever you wish. Tell the owner who you are and I will pay him later."
"Thank you." I hesitated a moment, wishing for a kiss, but he did not look up again, so I went out without one.

I spent a rather lovely morning going to a few shops that morning, purchasing a few small things. I was always greeted with the utmost respect and every shop owner was more than happy to let me have what I wanted, knowing they could bill Thranduil later and would be paid in full. I returned home just before lunch and climbed the front steps and was let in the door. And there was Jameson Feild. He was putting on his hat, as if preparing to leave.
"Mr. Field?" The surprise was evident in my voice.
"Mrs. Harland." He gave a slight bow and then he smiled - one of those smiles of his. I wanted to ask what on earth he was doing at my house, but it didn't come out. "You will excuse me, I'm leaving." He stepped around me and suddenly something jumped out of my mouth.
"Will you not...stay for lunch?"
"No, thank you. Good day." He gave me another small bow and another smile, then he was gone. I stood there rather stunned.
"Ah, you're home." I turned at the sound of my husband's voice.
"Y-yes." A servant was suddenly at my side helping me with my things.
"Did you have a pleasant morning?" He kissed my cheek then smiled at me as he offered me his arm to escort me in to lunch.
"Yes, I did," I spoke quickly. "Was that Jameson Feild that I just saw?"
"Yes, it was." Thranduil stepped forward and pulled my chair away from the table. "He came to call on me this morning."
"You?" I sounded too surprised at this, for Thranduil laughed.
"Yes, me." He took the seat next to me, at the head of the table. "You didn't think he would call to see you."
"No, of course not." But I didn't exactly think he would come to see you either. "What did he want?"
"Just to call on me." He looked at my face and gave another slight laugh. "Really, Trina, I do not bombard you with questions when Mrs. Abel comes to visit you."
"I'm sorry." I tried to turn my attention to the lovely meal that was being placed in front of me, but to be honest, I couldn't quite focus on it. Mr. Feild had called on Thranduil this morning? Of his own free will? Why on earth did he do that?

Thranduil, it seems, had gotten used to me. It was now a natural thing for him to take my hand, give me a kiss, or run his fingers through my hair. We rarely slept separately and had many pleasant conversations. But it wasn't all like that. Sometimes he would suddenly stop talking to me and ignore me for a day or two. Sometimes I would find the door between our rooms locked from his side. Sometimes our conversations wouldn't be pleasant. Sometimes they would get loud. We were both such strong people, sometimes things just didn't work out.

It was one of those nights. He had ignored me all day and I was very frustrated and tired. There he was, sitting by the fire, reading by himself. I went over to him and stood by his chair. After a few moments of not being acknowledged, I spoke.
"Thranduil?"
"I do not wish to speak to you, Trina. Leave me."
"And what if I wish to speak to you?" was my quick response. He turned towards me and I looked into his narrowed eyes. "What if I wish to spend time with my husband? What if I wish for something, Thranduil?"
"I do not recall asking you what you wished." He spoke very slowly, very deliberately.
"But I have told you anyway."
"And you should not have, for I do not care." And he turned back to his book.
"And what will make you care?"
"Nothing."
"Then perhaps I will disregard your wishes next time you enter my room at night." And I turned to go, but he caught my arm in a swift motion.
"Wait." It was an order.
"I do not wish to listen to you." And I pulled free.
"But you will listen." He was now standing and he grabbed my arm again, twisting me around and pulling me towards him. His face was just inches from mine and for a moment all I could hear was his breathing.
"And what do you wish to say to me?" My voice came out in a hoarse whisper.
"I wish...to..." And then his lips were against mine. I pulled away, but he pulled me back, moving his hands to my waist so he could hold me exactly where he wanted me. And then I was kissing him back, moving my fingers up through his hair, tangling the strands around my fingertips. He inhaled sharply as he broke the kiss for a moment, but then his lips were against my neck as he pushed me back against the couch. I slid my hands beneath the thin fabric of his shirt and ran them up to his chest. He began to tug at the back of my dress and as soon as it hit the floor, I slid his shirt over his head and began working at the strings at his waist. His lips were against mine again as he kissed me passionately. His hands were keeping my body close against his, then they made their way up to my chest, lingering there for a few moments. I lay against the couch cushions, my breathing labored as he undid my corset. Then his lips were at my ear. "And what do you wish for now?" He had gotten the rest of the fabric out of the way and now his hands were gripping my thighs, pushing up the last layer of my skirt.
"I just want you." Then his lips were against mine once more, before he moved down my body. His golden hair fell over my thighs and I reached down to tangle my fingers in it once more as my back arched against the cushions. Sometimes, just sometimes, a fight between us ended in the most pleasurable way.

The next morning I got up and bathed and was dressed then reentered my bedroom to find Thranduil just getting out of bed and pulling on his clothes. "Good morning," he smiled at me.
"Good morning." I had to return the smile. I had a really good feeling about today if he was already in such a good mood. He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist, his hair still messy from the night before. I moved my hands to his bare chest and ran them up to around his neck.
"You look beautiful."
"As do you," I said with a laugh. Then he was kissing me and I was moving my hands to either side of his face. "I don't ever wish to fight with you again," I said as we pulled apart.
"Nor do I."
"We are happy, are we not?" I moved my fingers up and down his shoulders as my eyes searched his.
"I cannot say for you, my dear, but I am happy."
"Are you?"
"I am. I am very happy."
"Then kiss me again." And he pressed his lips against mine. "I did not think it would be like this. When I first answered your letter last year."
"I did not think I could ever care for you as I do now." And I looked in his eyes, searching for any lie or deceit, but I saw none. And if it would have mattered - if it had made any difference at all...I believe I almost told him that I loved him then. And that was the first time that thought had ever come into my head. Love. I didn't need love. But whether I needed it or not, I loved him.

He had to leave that day, though, so we kissed each other goodbye...a few times, then he was gone, leaving me to the house. Legolas was in his room as usual, not even making an appearance to play the piano this morning. He came downstairs to tell me that he was going out, then disappeared without any further explanation. So I was alone again. I had just settled into my book when I heard someone at the door. I looked up and a moment later was greeted by a girl with wild, red hair.
"Tauriel, how good to see you." I offered her a smile and was greeted by a nod. She then began to walk around the room, looking at each book and decoration without saying anything. "To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" I prompted her.
"I wanted to talk to you." She pulled a copy of Romeo and Juliet off the shelf and flipped through it before putting it back.
"Talk to me? About what?"
"I guess I was just...wondering..." She ran her finger along the next bookshelf. "How much do you know about your husband?" She moved to Thranduil's chair by the fire and ran her hands over the top.
"I...I guess I don't know how to answer that," I gave a slight laugh. "What do you mean, Tauriel?"
"How much do you know about Ruth?"
"I'm sorry...Ruth?" I asked, having no idea what she was referring to.
"Ruth Sephene, Legolas's mom," Tauriel clarified.
"Oh..." It suddenly struck me that it was the first time hearing her name. "I guess I don't really-"
"Of course you don't know anything." Tauriel cut me off, then turned to the copy of Don Quixote that lay by Thranduil's chair. "He never talks about her."
"And...what do you know?" I asked hesitatingly.
"I know everything." Tauriel gave a kind of laugh, moving to another bookshelf and beginning to examine it. "Thranduil met her when they were quite young. He met her while in England. They were together for quite a while - sneaking around and all that. Of course nobody could know. On account she was married and everything."
"Married?"
"Well she was engaged. She was engaged to some rich lord or something. But she got pregnant so they were discovered."
"I'm...wait..." I desperately tried to steady my racing mind. "Thranduil was never married before?"
"You really do know nothing." Tauriel picked up a small globe that sat on one of the shelves and spun it. "Why do you think they were so anxious for Thranduil to get married?" As she spoke, a sinking feeling started to form in my stomach and it only grew. "That's why he posted the advertisement. Even though it was years ago, his reputation never recovered from having a bastard child with a married lady."
"So that's why," I whispered.
"But you interrupted my story. They were discovered after she got pregnant and Thranduil was sent home." Tauriel moved to the mantle and ran her fingers over the vases filled with flowers that decorated it. "So they wrote a lot of letters...but then they had to stop of course."
"Why?" I didn't mean to ask, but I couldn't stop myself.
"Because she died." The knot in my stomach tightened. "She died while having Legolas. So Thranduil got on a boat as soon as he heard, but it had been weeks by then. He came and got Legolas then left. He didn't want to keep the baby, but her family wouldn't take him." So...that was why Thranduil didn't like his son. "He wouldn't talk to anyone for a long time after that, then he decided he needed to get back into society. Or his mother did." She shrugged here. "But he got back out there and now he seems to be doing fine, so..." She pulled another book off a shelf and started flipping through it.
"So...what?"
"So everyone got what they wanted. Thranduil got a wife and his good standing in society. And his mother has a son who isn't just a father to a bastard son." Why was this so much about Julia? "I mean I guess his mother would rather him have married Adelle, but oh well."
"Adelle..." And there was her name again - haunting me just when I thought I could forget it.
"Adelle is Ruth's twin sister. She met Thranduil in London too. I don't know when they got together - it any of it was before Ruth died - but every time since then that she's come to Boston, he's been with her. He used to never leave her side, but she was married too until a few years ago so they couldn't get married. They just slept together."
"And..." I tried to form the words properly. "Why didn't he marry Adelle after her husband died?"
"It would have looked bad or something like that. That's what people were told, but I think it was because he didn't want to marry her. I think he just wanted to sleep with her." I...I don't want to hear that. I don't want to know that. "And I think that is everything." She glanced around the room once more then stepped towards the door. "I was to tell you everything and make sure you understood. Do you understand?"
"Yes..." I took a moment, then looked up at her and spoke more firmly. "I understand perfectly." He didn't tell me any of this. Not one word.
"And there is a box of letters to Ruth upstairs in the attic if you don't believe me."
"I believe you." I swallowed then looked at her again. "Tauriel, who told you that you were to tell me everything?"
"Julia Harland." I cringed slightly at the name. Of course it was her. Tauriel turned to go, but then turned back to me. "And one more thing. She says that you ought to be careful. It is far more acceptable for a husband to be with another woman than a wife to be with another man. Stay away from the writer." And then she left. She left me to ponder everything. She left me to get angrier and angrier.

And then I remembered..."there is a box of letters to Ruth upstairs"...I got up and walked slowly out of the room and began to climb the stairs...and then I picked up speed. Not only had he not told me about any of his past...I climbed the next flight of stairs...he had gotten me to care so deeply about him. And though perhaps he had meant everything he had said to me this morning...somehow it just couldn't be enough because he had left so much of himself out of it. How could he truly care for me when he only gave me the smallest piece of himself? I started down the hall, passing Legolas's room and several of the servants' until I came to the few rooms I knew were empty. And...I had almost told him that I loved him. I was so close. I couldn't possibly...no, I did, and that just made me so much angrier. I opened the door to one of the room and walked in to see piles of boxes and items covered in sheets. I looked over some of the boxes, then noticed that there was a bed in the corner and immediately knew. He had been with her for years...I had no doubt that young Thranduil would have given her everything. Everything at all. And what did I get? A small piece of a broken man. And yet why did I still cherish that piece more than I had anything else in my life before? I dropped to my knees by the bed and pulled out a box, but it was filled with old books, then I pulled out another, smaller box...and I found it full of letters. And each letter that I read smashed my broken heart into smaller and smaller pieces.

"Every moment that I cannot hold you causes my heart to break"

"You are the answer to every question that holds any meaning."

"They cannot find out. I cannot bear the thought of them tearing you forever from me."

"I love you, my darling. I will always love you."

As I read every line, I felt myself crumble. The age of the fragile papers between my fingers mattered not, for the truth was before my eyes: he loved someone else. The tears began to pour from my eyes and my body began to shake with sobs as I began to realize that the man who I loved more than anything, loved a woman I could never even meet. It did not matter what I felt for him. My heart yearned for the part of him who had written these beautiful words to his lover. That was a part of him I had never seen, yet I knew lay deep inside of him still. But that part of him was forever intertwined with the heart of a woman who had died so many years ago. He had no room for me. I guess love really is indestructible. As I sat, broken, in this realization, I heard his step behind me. I turned my face to him, the tears still flowing from my eyes, the piles of letters scattered around my skirt. He knelt beside me and slowly pulled the last letter from my fingers, dropping it to the ground before trying to take me into his arms, but I would not let him. I pushed him away as I pulled myself to my feet and ran out of the room.

Chapter Text

I sat in silence. The same silence that had been continuing for the past year of my marriage. The thing that my husband had the most intimate relationship with. Silence. And I refused to let that silence be broken. My own thoughts pounded at the door and I refused to give them a voice. All that I could process was that I had fallen in love with a man that I did not know at all. I had spent my time worried about him; I had cared...and yet here I sat in silence. And he allowed me to sit in silence. When night fell, I dismissed the servant who had come to help me get ready for bed and began to pull the pins out of my hair myself. I took out my earrings and undid the necklace from around my throat. That was enough playing for one day. Then I heard his step and it made me turn towards the door. A shadow appeared under the door and stayed there. I imagined him standing there - just about to knock - but he did not. A few moments later, the shadow disappeared and I heard his steps going down the hall to his own room. My eyes went to rest on the door between our rooms. I slowly stood and made my way over to it and stood there. Perhaps he stood on the other side. Then I slowly raised my hand and locked the door. I remained there a moment longer, long enough to hear him try the door from the other side. When it did not easily give in, he did not try again. But I wished he had. If he had pushed a little harder, maybe I would've given in. I returned to my mirror and changed into my nightgown, then blew out the candle and slid into bed. I did not want the tears to come again, but I was not surprised when they did.

The next day I remained in my room. It was all too much for me and I could not bring myself to leave. I would allow myself just one day to think. Though what was there to think about? What was done was done and nothing could change that. And nothing could change the fact that I had married him. So I spent the day reading and looking out the window at the busy street. Somehow, it helped.

When night fell again, I allowed the servant to come in and help me change. She let down my hair so my curls fell over my shoulders then dressed me in my white silk nightgown. It was early, but I did not wish to stay up much longer. I was about to blow out the candle when I heard a knock on my door. I hesitated, standing by my bed, but the knock came again, louder this time.
"Come in," I called out. The door opened and my husband entered. His hair, like mine, fell over his shoulders, and he was dressed only in a white shirt and brown pants, as if he had already begun getting ready for bed himself. "What is it?"
"Would you let me come to bed with you?" He spoke softly, but firmly. I glanced at the bed beside me, then over at him again. I did not know if I wished to spend the night next to him, but as I looked at his face - into his eyes - I saw his sadness. I saw loneliness. And I knew he could not lie about that. So I nodded and a few moments later he blew out the candle and climbed into bed beside me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and settled in with his chest against my back. I was stiff at his touch, but as waves of emotion overcame me again, I collapsed against his arms and pushed myself as close to him as I could. Even though he was the one who was causing my pain, I knew he was the only one who could make it better.

We did not speak the next morning. We awoke at the same time and I spent a few moments just looking into his eyes. He reached a hand up and ran his fingers down the side of my face, as if he was nervous to touch me, but simply couldn't help himself. I raised my hand to meet his and we tangled our fingers together. He closed his eyes for a moment and I watched him exhale warm air that gently hit my lips. Then he opened those blue eyes of his again and it looked as if he wanted to speak, but he didn't. I'm glad he didn't. He couldn't say anything right now. It would break this one moment. This one moment in the midst of a broken relationship. For he had broken my heart. And at that memory, I slid my fingers away from his, but he clung to them. His eyes asking me to hold on for just one more moment. And for him...I did. Then he was leaning closer and my lips met his in a timid kiss. He was counting on so much right now. He was counting on the fact that we were married. He was holding onto the scattered moments of joy we had in between the mountains of pain and anger. His arm slid under the covers that still hung over my body as his fingers found the skin on my side. He pulled me closer as his lips slowly moved over mine. I felt fear. And for a few moments...I could not tell if it was mine or his. My fingertips glided over the muscles on his back, carefully outlining each one. My other hand moved to his hair, which now tangled unrecognizably with my own in a mess of gold and yellow. Then he paused a moment, pulling his head back just enough where our lips were no longer touching, but where he could still feel my breathing. It was a hesitation I had not felt from him til now. It was as if he was asking my permission to be close to me. It was a question he had never asked before last night. And now...it seemed like he could not make any movement without my consent. So I moved my hand to the back of his neck and gently moved his lips back to my own. I had never kissed him like this. Every feeling was passing between our mouths - a mixture of hope and utter sadness. It was slow. It was steady. And it was unyielding. But though I had never felt this way with anyone before...maybe he had. Maybe he had with her. Maybe he had with Ruth. And at the thought of her, every part of me recoiled once again. I folded into myself as I slowly broke away from my husband's touch. I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I pushed the covers off of my body and climbed out of bed before making my way into the next room.

But we did talk. We had to talk. After I was dressed in a light blue gown with my hair done up in a bun. After I forced myself to wear the necklace from him. After I fought back tears while looking in the mirror. After he was dressed in a white suit. After he had waited a while for me downstairs. After I found him pacing in the drawing room. After I had sat in silence for a few minutes. Then. Then I spoke.
"Will you not say anything?"
"I do not wish to say the wrong thing," he admitted. "I wish to hear your mind first." At his words, I exhaled then waited a moment before speaking again.
"I did not know you were not married."
"It is not...something I am proud of." He spoke slowly. "I do not regret her, but I do regret how everything was done."
"She was engaged."
"To a man she had never met." He suddenly stopped and looked at me. "Were you informed of that?"
"I was not."
"No," he said quickly. "Her family wished her to marry money. He was many years her senior and not known for being...pleasant." For just a moment, I noticed him clench his fist, then he relaxed. "She could never have married him even if she hadn't..." Conceived your child? Or...if she hadn't died?
"I had to hear her name from a young girl I barely know." I spoke steadily, but firmly. I would not leave him ignorant of my feelings. "I have lived in your house for almost a year and I knew nothing of your past. I poured out my hear to you and...all you were...was silent." Here I paused for a moment. "I do not need your love, Thranduil...but I expect your honesty and your respect." My words seemed to cut into him and an expression of hurt crossed his eyes, but he quickly returned to his usual stone expression.
"I do respect you, Trina. And I will not lie to you."
"Then tell me why you never spoke of her." I leaned forward slightly as I asked and he tapped his fist against the back of his chair before turning and walking a few steps around the room. He then turned back to me.
"I do not believe you would have wished to tell me if you had a lover in your youth who you had lost to the grave...but not before you had destroyed every part of her future with a child she never wanted. Every day I live with the pain of what I did to her. I was young. I thought myself very much in love with her. I thought I was helping her by staying with her...by hiding our feelings from everyone else, but then...when we were found out...she was disgraced. We were torn apart and I never saw her again." He turned his head away as he struggled to maintain his composure. "You will forgive me if I did not wish to share my burden of guilt with my wife. You will forgive me if I wished to build happiness without the reminder of what I have done." And again he turned away, this time turning his back to me. I stood.
"Do you know nothing of me to not know that it would not have mattered? Do you not know that I would have gladly shared your burden?" I stepped forward and reached out to touch him, but this time, it was him who pulled away.
"I do not wish for you to share it," he said harshly. "I wish to be rid of it. For years I have not spoken of her only to have you speak of her now."
"If you truly loved her...then you must not be ashamed of her."
"I am not ashamed." He suddenly turned, angry and defensive. "But I do not wish to be reminded of the deepest kind of pain I have ever felt."
"Then we will never speak of it again." I stepped forward as I moved my hands to his face. "Never." He started to turn, but I grabbed his arm. "Do not pull away from me now," I pleaded. "You are hurt. We are both hurting. Let us fix each other, Thranduil. Or let us learn to love our broken selves." His eyes turned to mine and through them I saw the soul of a man who had almost lost all hope. "Stay with me," I whispered. And slowly, he let me lead him to the couch. He sat down beside me and let me wrap my arms around him and lay my head against his chest. I felt his arms move around my body, then I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Do you wish to know anything else?" He asked softly.
"I only wish to know that you will never leave me."
"That," he spoke as he moved his fingers through the curls that had fallen loose from my bun, "is a promise I can make, my dear."

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Our first anniversary was fast approaching. I began to search for a suitable gift for my husband; a small token of my affection. He had been so good to me lately and it had been weeks since our last disagreement. I felt like everything was finally settling down and I was enjoying my life as a wife and a mother. I was far happier than I had ever thought I could be with him. And one evening in late July he sat me down and took both my hands in his to tell me of a surprise he had been planning.
"I thought it would be a good way of commemorating our first wedding anniversary." And he smiled at me. That smile that I had begun to treasure - willing to do anything to see. "I have decided we should take a trip to Georgia." My eyes suddenly widened and my mouth dropped open in absolute shock. My hands slid away from his and I covered my mouth as my body began to shake. A look of confusion crossed his face. "Should you like to see your family again?" All I could do was nod before an exclamation of joy escaped my mouth and I flung my arms around his neck as tears began to stream down my face. When I had left my home a year ago, I never imagined that I could go back. The goodbyes we said could have been for forever, yet this man - my husband - was making it possible for me to see my mother again.
"Thank you," I sobbed. "Thank you so much." He pulled away from me so he could see my face and reached up to brush the tears from my cheeks.
"Come, let us cry no more. I wish to discuss the trip." He caressed my cheek gently. I managed to smile back, trying to control myself.
"Yes." I let out a laugh, still mingled with sobs. "Forgive me."
He smiled again. "Are you happy?"
"I am," I nodded. "I could have asked for nothing more." And I kissed him. The thought of my husband - the man I loved - in the place that I liked best on earth, meeting my family, meeting my friends, sitting in my house. There was nothing I wanted more.

And so preparations began. Legolas would come with us, of course. He could barely contain his excitement at getting to see the love of his life again. I wrote to my mother immediently to tell her of our plans. Obviously something would have to be done about Beth before we arrived if Thranduil still did not know, but she was staying with my sister and could easily be kept invisible there. But I tried to tell him. On a few of those evenings where we sat discussing the trips, or inbetween our reading sessions, or late at night when we held each other, or in the mornings as he climbed out of my bed. I tried to tell him. But I hadn't found the words yet. But I would. I would tell him before the trip if I could. And if not, perhaps Georgia would be the perfect setting for such an announcement.

In the midst of all the preparations and the planning and my own personal struggle, we received a visitor. Thranduil and I had been out shopping, ordering me a few new dresses for the trip and a suit or two for him, and when we returned, we were approached with a silver platter with a calling card on it. My husband handed off our bags, then picked it up.
"Ah, this is a surprise." He had glanced at the name and now turned to me.
"Who is it?"
"An old friend; abusinessman who worked with my father...and Mr. Sephene."
"Mr. Sephene as in...Kili?"
"Kili's father."
"So he knows everybody." I gave a light laugh.
"He certainly does. Artham is his name. I haven't seen him in many years. He has much business in America, though mostly in the South, so he rarely strays this far North. I must find out where he is staying and go pay him a visit."
"Of course you must." I smiled. "And invite him for dinner tomorrow. I should like to meet an old friend of yours."
"I shall." Thranduil turned and kissed my cheek then turned towards the door. "I will not be long."
"Take as long as you need." An then he was gone, leaving me to play house with Legolas in his abscence.

"If its a boy, we wish to go for a strong name such as Nathanial or Alexander. Her father's name was Alexander, so that's probably the one we would choose. But if it's a girl we wish to name her something delicate such as Nora or Ellie or Mercy...or perhaps Ruth after my mother." His excitement was very evident and I noticed how his excitement grew when he spoke of his child possibly being a girl.
"They are all good names, Legolas. I wish there was some way for us to know if the baby was a boy or a girl before it was born," I smiled at him. "But I know you will be very happy either way."
"I think we will be." The smile hadn't left Legolas's face since he had bounded into the drawing room to tell me about Beth's latest letter.
"You're going to be a good father." I reached over and took one of his hands in mine. "And I am very proud of you."
"I must admit that I am proud of myself," Legolas gave a short laugh. "I've never been so happy. I cannot wait to see her. I wish that I could go there to be with her and never come back."
"Well, you know that we must tell-" I started, but was cut off by the appearance of a servant in the doorway.
"Excuse me, ma'am."
"Yes, what is it?"
"Mr. Sephene is here to see you."
"Kili?"
"Who else?" And Kili was walking through the door with his hands outstretched and a large smile on his face.
"Kili!" I stood up and took his hands as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.
"Ah, dear sister, it is good to see you. And you, Legolas." He turned to my son. "How are you, old boy?" And he greeted him with a firm handshake.
"I am well, Uncle."
"But what are you doing here? I did not know that you had left England?" I asked.
"I am traveling with a friend of my father's. We spent time in the South, then decided to take a trip up the coast."
"Oh yes, he's an old friend of my husband's. I believe he's visiting him now."
"Yes, when I saw he had arrived, I decided to come overe here. You will forgive me, but I've never gotten along well with Thranduil."
"Of course," I smiled. I wasn't surprised that my husband didn't find this bubbly young man very interesting.
"Are you staying with my grandmother?" Legolas asked, and when I looked at him, I caught a very playful look in his eye.
"I am," Kili responded strangely, then laughed. "You wouldn't want to come over and save me from boring conversations with the old hag, would you?"
"Absolutely not. I prefer to stay where it's safe."
"But I am forgetting my manners - please, come sit, Kili. Tell us about how you have been," I urged suddenly, wishing to change the subject.
"I would love to." And we all sat down together. Kili then launched into several long tales about his recent travels and I wasn't entirely sure how true they were, but he was a very good storyteller. They had traveled through Georgia so I asked if he had visited a few of my favorite places, but he confessed he had not found the state interesting enough to spend much time in. He told us many things about New York, though, before launching into a few random stories he had heard old men telling in a tavern once. It was a very entertaining conversation. One of his stories spoke of a few far-off countries and Kili asked Legolas if he would bring him his atlas down from his room so he might tell the stories more accurately. Legolas left to go retrieve it, leaving Kili and I alone for a few moments. One look at Kili's face after Legolas had left told me that he had created this situation intentionally. "I was very surprised to see your brother in London," he started.
"I...was surprised when he wrote and told me that he was in London. I was even more surprised to hear what he was doing there."
"So you do know?"
"I do. I know my brother foolishly asked your sister to marry him and that she accepted only to leave him on the day of the wedding." I was careful to leave any accusation out of my voice.
"Well...you are not wrong. Your brother was foolish...but I am not here to defend my sister. It should never have happened."
"I agree." I folded my hands in my lap, then a sudden thought struck me. "Forgive me, but I must ask you. Are you one of those that wished my husband to marry Adelle?"
He sighed. "I will admit that I was for the marriage, yes. But now that I see how things are, I am happy that he took this path. I am glad I have the opportunity to know you, sister."
"And I you." But as I spoke, Legolas was entering the room again, putting our short conversation to an end. Kili's huge smile returned to his face and he opened the atlas as he continued his wild stories.

I was surprised when Thranduil was not home for dinner. Kili excused himself, making a joke about making sure Tauriel didn't eat alone with Julia, then he left us with promises to come see us again the next day. Legolas and I ate by ourselves, then he went off to his room and I retired to the drawing room to wait for my husband. It was late when he got back. I was reading, but closed the book when I heard him come through the door. He was silent as he handed off his outer garments to the servants and I was surprised when I didn't see him appear in the doorway. I stood and saw him out in the entry way, walking towards the stairs. "Thranduil?" I called out his name and saw him stop at the foot of the stairs. "You're back so late, I expected you earlier. I waited up for you." I took a few steps towards the doorway, surprised that he wasn't looking at me or making any indication of hearing me. "Was the visit alright?" I took the last step to the doorway and played my hand against the frame. "How did you find your friend?"
"You knew." He spoke in a low voice riddled with an emotion that I had never heard from him before. And then he slowly turned and in his eyes I saw anger and disappointment mixed with something completely unreadable.
"Knew about what?" I asked slowly.
"You knew my son was expecting a child."
And there it was. The secret I had been holding for months was now spilled out on the floor between us. A dark pool of silence and pain. And there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say.
"Will you not defend yourself?" He waited a moment, un-moving. "Will you say nothing?"
"I have nothing to say." The words came out softly and hesitantly.
"You have nothing to say..." He now turned and took a step towards me. "...about the fact that you knew my son was with a shopkeeper's sister? An orphan? A girl of no reputation?" Another step. "You have nothing to say about the fact that this girl is now with child. My son's child." Another step. "You have nothing to say about the fact that the girl is now living with your family in the South because you had to hide her from me?" One more step took him just a few feet from me. "And you have nothing to say about the fact that you've known this for months and didn't say a word?"
"I...I'm so sorry, Thranduil." The tears were streaming down my face, but they couldn't block out the image of his face - so full of anger. "I know what I did was wrong and I tried to find a way to tell you, but I couldn't. I let it go on too long and I'm...I'm so sorry."
"And you dared to be angry at me for hiding Ruth from you?" His voice suddenly became louder. "You shut me out for days because you felt I should have told you about my guilt and you were hiding something about my son from me?"
"Thranduil, please..."
"I don't wish to hear your apologies, Trina." He almost spit the name at me and my eyes went to the ground, unable to look at him anymore as I listened to what was left of our marriage crumble away. And then he was yelling at me. "I wish to know what the hell you were thinking!" I couldn't plead with him. I couldn't say anything. I wrapped my arms around myself as my body began to shake. "And I had to find this out from an old friend who heard a rumor and cared enough to seek out an answer. Yes, he found her, Trina. As well as you hid her, she was found. And I had to sit there and listen as this man told me what you - my. wife. - had hidden from me." He turned, took a few steps, then turned back around and stepped towards me again. "Were you afraid of what I might say? Were you afraid of what I might do? Is that why you hid this from me?" I could not reply, but he knew the truth. "I may have many faults, but I can respect your honesty. If you had come to me when you first found out then this could have been dealt with properly. I could have prevented this girl's pregnancy and save what little dignity this family has left. You may feel that you are Legolas's savior from his angry father, but believe me when I say that under my supervision, I could have made something of him. I would never have wished for my son to make the same mistakes I did." He turned away again and I heard him exhale. Only then did I dare look up at him again. It was still him. The same man I had written to, the man whose ring I wore, the man I lay beside every night, the man I loved. He had not changed, but I had destroyed any chance we had at making this work. I had betrayed any trust he had seen fit to place in me. "I cannot believe my mother was right," he muttered. "And now I find myself the fool." He walked over to the stairs and stopped just at the bottom. His eyes turned on me again and this time I held his gaze. I was pleading with him. Asking him for something I could never hope to deserve. He was refusing with every muscle in his body. "You once said you did not need my love...well you had it, Trina. Until today." And then he climbed the stairs, leaving me to fall to the floor in tears, sitting in the midst of a secret I never should have kept.

Chapter Text

Then he left. I picked up the broken pieces of our relationship and put them in a box on my nightstand. And I waited. One day turned into two. Two weeks turned into three. One month. Two months. Three months. He didn't show up. His bills continued to be paid at local stores and if Legolas or I needed anything additional, we wrote to his lawyer. We weren't told where he was or if he ever planned to come back, but we were taken care of. At first, Legolas was angry. Every word that left his mouth was a curse against his father. I tried to calm him, but eventually there was no use. Then the phase ended and we learned to sit in silence. I think if it had just been us bearing our pain, we could have adjusted, but the prying eyes of Boston would not let us forget.

Every Sunday morning Legolas and I went to church. We sat in the same pew we had always sat in; left side, four from the back. At first, Thranduil could be presumed sick or away on business. But by the third week, nobody believed anything other than the unspoken truth.
"She's alone again."
"Nobody has seen Thranduil in weeks!"
"What could have happened?"
"She must have had an affair with another man."
"Maybe he sailed off to be with that British woman."
"He'd be happier without her..."
"He really left her."
"He left her."
"She's alone again."
"Where is he?"
"He left her."
"She's alone."
"He left."

Lizzie was one of the greatest comforts to me. She asked no questions and spoke on a myriad of different subjects to keep my mind off of my missing husband. Almost every afternoon, she would take tea with me and share what she could of the gossip in the city. There wasn't much for her to say when most of it concerned me.
"I know he's gone, Lizzie. We don't have to act like he is not."
"But, dearest..." She sighed. "Is he coming back?"
"I don't know." At this, I saw her struggling not to ask further questions. At least someone could know. "I lied, Lizzie. About something I had no right to have a secret about. I thought I was doing what was best when I should have let my husband deal with the situation."
"Trina...I am sorry."
"I assure you, I'm the one who's sorry."
"Do you know where he is?"
"No." How could he be anywhere else but in England?
"Well..." She tried to smile. "Being home alone isn't the worst thing. And you have Legolas. I'd give anything to have a son." Her last words were spoken quietly. She knew more than anyone how it felt to have a distant husband.
"How are you, Lizzie? How is your husband?"
"I don't know." Again, she forced a smile. "He has all but entirely stopped talking to me. I'm surprised he has not left like Thranduil. I believe he must be looking for any opportunity at this point." If only we were allowed to divorce our husbands when they stopped acting like husbands. Lizzie could be free to love another.
"But his career..."
"I believe that is the reason he stays, dearest. If he wishes to be a writer, his reputation is valuable." Her eyes met mine and it in them, I read the same fear that I had about Thranduil. Another woman.

I was sitting in the sitting room having a quiet morning to myself when I heard the doorbell. I looked up as I heard the servant answer the door.
"I'm here to see, Mr. Harland," the visitor was a gentleman. It was Jameson Field.
"Sir, he is not at home."
"Please, I've been here several times and am still told he is not home."
"Sir, he is not here," the servant urged. I stood and walked towards the door.
"May I at least know when he will be back?"
"I'm afraid we do not know, Mr. Field," I spoke from the doorway and his eyes instantly turned to me. "May I know what is so important that you must disturb us so frequently?"
"Mrs. Harland," he stepped forward and our reluctant servant closed the door behind him. "May we speak for a moment? I had business with your husband and must speak to him."
I hesitated, then stepped into the sitting room and let him follow. "What is it you need, sir?"
"As you know, Mrs. Harland, I am writing a new book."
"And what does that have to do with my husband?"
"He kindly offered to be my benefactor and pay for the new book to be published."
"Thranduil?" My surprise was very evident.
"Yes," he looked down at his hands and fidgeted with his hat. "I don't have enough to finish. I need materials and I must travel to speak with the publisher in New York but I cannot afford the trip."
"And my husband has not communicated with you at all?"
"I received only one letter last month. He seemed to indicate that he would be away for some time, but was still interested in the venture. I sent him a copy of the manuscript, but have yet to hear anything else."
"L-last month?" My heart nearly stopped in my chest. "Sir, do you have the letter that my husband wrote to you?"
"Not with me."
"I apologize for prying, but I would like to read the letter if you would allow." I needed to see that envelope. It had to have some clue as to where he was.
"Absolutely, I shall bring it tomorrow." He started to get up, but I stopped him.
"But not...here." I smiled briefly. "I am not used to gentleman callers and would prefer to entertain you elsewhere. My husband's lawyer can get you the funds you need if I request them. If I sent his address, would you meet at his office?"
"Of course," he smiled. "Thank you, Mrs. Harland." Before I could stop him, he had grabbed my hand and pressed it to his lips. "Your kindness will not be forgotten." I gingerly pulled my hand from his.
"I shall see you tomorrow, sir."
"Yes," he stood. "Til tomorrow." He bowed, then went out.

Tomorrow afternoon could not come soon enough. Legolas remained indifferent to his father's whereabouts, but I had to know. I met with Thranduil's lawyer before Mr. Field arrived and he said that I could give whatever money to Mr. Field that I wanted. He advised a smaller amount to start with, but let me make any decisions on the matter. His complete confidence surprised me. Thranduil had left, but was still giving me every access to his money. Then Jameson arrived and gave me a low bow.
"Thank you for consenting to meet with me again, Mrs. Harland."
"Or course, Mr. Field." I nodded to him, then he reached into his pocket and held out a letter. No envelope. Just the letter. I feigned a smile and took the letter from his hand. I slowly unfolded it and immediately recognized the cursive hand of my absent husband.

Dear Sir,

You will forgive my lengthy silence, I had to take an unexpected journey and do not plan to be back for quite some time. I have heard that you are in need of my assistance and I am not against giving it. Before I give you your desired collateral, I wish to see the state of my investment. Please send me any manuscript you my have of your new work so I may peruse it thoroughly. I plan to stay at this address for the foreseeable future, so you may send it here. My best regards, sir. I look forward to working with you.

Thranduil Harland.

I looked up at Jameson, who was waiting nervously in front of me. It was a different state for the usually-confident writer.
"I would be happy to help you, Mr. Field." I held out my hand and a smile spread across his handsome face as he shook it.
"Thank you, ma'am." He didn't know that the letter had nothing to do with my decision. But that wasn't all I needed.
"Perhaps you have the envelope that this letter came in?" I asked. I could have come up with an excuse, but I didn't see the need. He immediately started searching in his pockets and finally pulled out a crumpled envelope. "Thank you." I took it and smoothed it out as best I could. The address was written across the back and as I read the familiar words, my breath stopped short.

Georgia.

Chapter Text

Dear Mother,

I wrote to you several weeks ago about my current situation with my husband. I hope to receive your response soon, but necessity compels me to write to you again. This afternoon I spoke with one who has had contact with Thranduil since his departure from our house. He had a letter from my husband which was sent from Georgia. I must ask why you did not inform me that he was there. I cannot imagine what Thranduil would want there. Please write soon and tell me of his business in Georgia and if all is well with Beth.

It has been three months since he left, mother. I have heard nothing from him. I had finally learned how to live with a husband and now he has left me here alone. I am doing my best to stay strong and continue life as he would have wanted me to. I don’t feel like my whole self without him here. I do miss him. If he is there, please tell him so. Give him my love and ask him...no, beg him to write to me. Or better...beg him to come home.

Your loving daughter,

Trina Harland

My darling Trina,

I was so happy to receive your letter. I will admit that when Thranduil showed up on our doorstep two months ago, I was more shocked than I can imagine. As much as you have described him, I could never have pictured the man that arrived that day. I would have written you right away, my dear, but Thranduil asked for secrecy until he figured out what he wanted to do. He explained what had happened, and though my sympathy fell with you, your father and I thought it best to honor his wishes. You have my sincerest apology for keeping you in the dark for so long.

Mr. Harland quite some time with us in the sitting room and spoke endlessly of you. Your name left his lips more times than I can count. After he had rested and eaten, he asked to meet Beth. She had been spending the day with your sister, so we took him down to their house and he met the mother of his son’s child in Celeste’s living room. He sat and spoke with her for hours, Trina. Celeste invited him to take his evening meal with them, so I retired back to the big house with your father and your husband did not return til late.

It has been such a pleasure to have him here with us, my dear. He spends most of his time with Beth and the rest with your father. He was eager to learn about your father’s farm and your father appreciates the company. We only wish you could have come with him. I am not one to get in the middle of your business, but I hope you and him can work out whatever it is you must work out sooner rather than later. He is a good man, Trina. We are so happy with your choice of a husband.

Your previous letter has been in his hands and he read of how much you wish to hear from him. He simply nodded and said he would in his own time. I cannot beg on your behalf, my dear, but I will continue to encourage him to communicate with you.

All is well with Beth. I’m sure a letter from her to Legolas will accompany my letter to you. She is getting bigger by the day and we anticipate the baby very soon. We miss you very much, dear one. The peach trees are blooming beautifully and I think of you every time I see them. Write again soon.

Your loving mother.

I waited.

Thranduil did not write.

I did not know how to feel knowing that my husband had introduced himself to my family and was there spending time with them while I must wait in the place he had built as his home. Boston was still strange to me and could never compare to the South. With Thranduil, I had finally begun to feel comfortable. With his departure, I felt utterly alone again.

I missed his mind and his conversation. I missed his love and the way he would look at me. As time went on, my body began to ache with cravings for his touch and his skin. I sat alone in the bathtub and my mind filled to the brim with memories of his fingers and lips. My hands slid beneath the water and I closed my eyes. I remembered his hands gripping my hips so hard they would leave marks. I remembered his fingers tangled in my hair and how he would pull my head back. I remembered how it felt to touch his chest and how his sweaty body would feel pressed against mine. I remembered how he’d rip the sheets away so they wouldn’t hinder us. My mouth dropped open as the memories continued. I remembered the times his lips trailed down my bodys. I remembered his hands between my thighs. I couldn’t stop remembering. I remembered how it felt the first time. I felt the cool lid of the piano beneath my naked body. I felt the movement. I could hear his breathing. I could taste his tongue. When I finally opened my eyes, I was breathing hard and my body was sore and shaking. I sat up and ran my hands over my hair. I was still alone. He was still gone. No amount of remembering would bring him back. I climbed out of the bathtub, got dressed, and headed downstairs.

“Mrs. Harland, you have a visitor.”

I had barely reached the last step when I heard the announcement.

“Who is it?”

“Mr. Field is here to see you.”

Jameson.

“Mr. Field.” I smiled as I extended my hand to him and he took it briefly. “What a surprise to see you here this afternoon.”

“You will forgive the intrusion. I was told you did not wish to be disturbed, so Legolas was just entertaining me until you were ready for a brief conversation.” And he smiled.

“And what can I do for you, Mr. Field?”

“Well,” he began. “As your husband has still not returned my letter, I was hoping you would do me the honor of reading over my work before I send it to be published. I’m looking for any feedback you wish to offer.”

“Is it not true that you write on political matters, Mr. Field? I’m afraid that I am no expert in those matters.”

“But I wish to make my writing understandable to one who may not always find themselves involved in politics,” he explained. “Please, I would appreciate any comments you may have.” He turned and picked up a package that was sitting on the table beside us then offered it in my direction. I hesitated before taking it from him.

“I assure you, Mr. Field, I do not presume I will be of any help.”

“I’m sure you shall.” And he smiled again. “You are a well-read woman, Mrs. Harland. You are educated and enlightened. I am honored that you would even consider reading my work.”

“You flatter me, sir.”

“I cannot help but do so.”

“Well,” and I took an awkward step back as my eyes left his face. I did not know how to respond to a man who was visiting my house when my husband was not home and making such comments towards me. “I will inform you when I have read it.”

“Thank you.” He hesitated, then continued. “I do apologize for showing up with no forewarning. I am well aware of the unconventionality of our situation.”

“And what situation is that, Mr. Field?” My eyes found his again.

“I am doing business with you on your husband’s behalf. You will forgive me, I am only trying to treat you how I would any other business partner.”

“Then perhaps next time, you could send word to my lawyer of any further needs. Yes, I am choosing to work with you, sir, but my husbands lawyer can filter out anything you say that I would find unnecessary to hear, such as your flattery.”

“I apologize, ma’am.”

“As I said, I shall send word when I am finished with your book,” I said, ignoring his apology. “Until then, good day.”

“Good day...Mrs. Harland.”

Chapter Text

The harsh quiet in my home could not stay peaceful for long.

I was sitting in the drawing room when there was a ring at the door. It would not be him. It could not be. He would not ring the bell at his own house. But...I threw down my book and ran to the doorway. So there I was, standing with anticipation like a fool when Thranduil's mother was let in.
"This is an unexpected welcome," she said as she handed her hat to the servant. "Were you expecting someone else or are you truly happy to see me?"
"Always, Mrs. Harland." I spoke coldly.
"Hmm." The lady walked over and paused beside me. "Your manners have always been my favorite quality of yours, Trina." She glided into the drawing room and I turned to address her.
"What can I help you with, Mrs. Harland?"
"Help me? I think we are beyond help, don't you?"
"I do not know what you mean." I moved to perch on the edge of the couch as she took Thranduil's chair by the fireplace.
"I was far from happy when my son brought home news of having a son by an unmarried woman, but, with some work, my reputation recovered. Now, my son has seen fit to abandon his wife and child and disappear to who knows where, again leaving me with a considerable mess."
"I assure you, Mrs. Harland, I am equally...disturbed at our situation."
"Our situation?" She laughed. "My dear, you came from the deep South to marry a man whom you did not know, your reputation was not one to be envied to begin with."
I tightened my jaw and willed my hands to stay neatly folded in my lap.
"I'm sure you know now that your reputation is in a considerable amount of disrepair."
"I'm sure." I spoke quickly, my words toppling over hers as she sped on.
"Especially since you have produced no legitimate children to the Harland line and we are to rely on an illegitimate heir and his illegitimate child."
Oh if only Thranduil were here to speak to her as he did that day in my defense. I bit my tongue very tightly as she spoke ill about my son...and of a possibility that I could never allow my thoughts to reach. An area of my own incompetence that I could not visit.
"Really, my dear," she spoke with her normal vigor, yet it seemed to fade as I closed my eyes for just a moment. "You have been married for a year and have proved incapable in every way."
I opened my eyes and searched for the right and proper words to say.
"You have pushed Legolas to a life of immorality and have driven your husband away entirely."
"I am sorry to have disappointed you so," I spoke carefully, but without a shred of kindness for I felt none. "But truly how can I be expected to take the full blame for my husband's actions when I have been in his life merely twelve months and you for its entirety? I do not blame you, Mrs. Harland, for surely I blame no one for your son's actions but himself and none for Legolas's actions but himself. Each is to take their own blame and I will take mine when it is entitled, but I beg you do not assign guilt where it is least deserved."
"Well," she paused and lifted an eyebrow. "It seems the girl has finally found her tongue." One of the corners of her mouth twisted in a sort of smile then she stood. "I will take my leave as I see that my opinion is not needed or wanted here."
"I assure you, you will always be welcome in Thranduil's house," I said politely as I stood.
"Oh I'm sure I will be welcomed with as much politeness as I have been accustomed to. Good day, Trina. I do hope your husband returns."
"As do I."

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