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BEASTARS: Service with a (Half-)Smile

Summary:

Special thanks to 97fg.

Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Louis: Agata, take the soy bean steak to the hyena on Table 12! Milk that Rex-given cuteness of yours for all it's worth (Heaven knows we need the tips)! Free, quit chatting up the waitresses and take that Chardonnay to Table 9!  

Free: On it, Boss!

Louis: Miguel, hurry up and get that cucumber churrasco all the way to Well Done!

Miguel (wearing a hair net): Seriously!? Who the fuck orders a steak Well Done!?

Louis: Don't give me lip! Now hurry up before I make you join Dope and Sabu in cleaning up the men's room with a toothbrush!

(A pissed-off Legoshi barges into the kitchen, inadvertently hits Free when he opens the door, knocking him unconscious).

Louis (facepalms hard): DAMMIT, LEGOSHI!

Legoshi (dead inside): The old turtle from Table 18 returned his rice cake steak again. Says he wanted Mandarin orange sauce, not Jaffa orange.

Miguel: Fuck kinda difference does it make!? They're both oranges!

Louis: It's a world of difference, you bumpkin! Why, Mandarin--

Legoshi: Old guy also wanted me to tell my boss (meaning you, Louis) he's a shitty leader and a terrible actor, as in the Rob Schneider of theater. He's an acclaimed critic who's published over a hundred books on why Adler sucks, so he knows what he's talking about.

Louis: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?  

Agata: Uh, Boss? Remember your blood pressure.

Louis: THAT TEARS IT! (Snatches the steak, searches a nearby fridge). I'll show him shitty, give or take a coupla minutes on the throne! Where're my Ex-Lax dark chocolate chips!?

Miguel: You mean the ones that were in that huge glass jar? (Grins nervously). W-Well, I... I kinda made Hino and Dolph melt them down into a nice smooth mousse, like you taught us to!

Agata (moans in pain, clutches his stomach like he has indigestion): B-Boss? I-I don't feel so good...

Legoshi: Uh-oh...

Louis: YOU DID WHAT!?

Bill (from outside): HEY, WHO'S HOGGING THE BATHROOM!? I'M HAVING A CRISIS HERE! OUTTA MY WAY, EYEBROWS!

Dope (also outside): No, you can't come in, Sir! We're not done cleaning up! I don't care if you have explosive diarrhea!

Sabu (ditto): LET HIM IN, MAN, LET HIM IN!

(Multiple farting noises are heard).

Legoshi: Well... imma email my resume... again. Do I brib--pay Deshico his usual? (Louis starts twitching uncomfortably). I'll take that as a yes. Good thing Grandpa and Yahya-san cancelled at the last minute. (Leaves).

Agata: (runs the hell away): OUTTA MY WAY, I GOT THE RUNS!

Louis (still twitching): Anybody needs me, I'll be in the breakroom, crying in front of a mirror as sad, otherworldly music plays in the background. (Leaves).

Miguel: Wonder if Melon-san needs an assistant... (Leaves).

Notes:

A/N:

[CONCRIT REQUESTED].

I'll never improve if you guys don't provide feedback. Long as it's not done in a hostile or mean-spirited way, feel free to criticize.

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