Chapter Text
They were watching an anime of Saburo’s choice tonight, Noein, which Jiro couldn’t stand on principle, but also because of the quantum physics aspect. Regardless of Jiro’s distaste, it was the agreement that they all would rotate out something to watch on nights when Ichi-nii and Jiro didn’t have new episodes they were waiting to see. While it had taken Saburo some time to work up the confidence to assert his own taste to Ichi-nii, he had no problem defending it against Jiro. Who was currently complaining about how he didn’t know what was going on.
“They’re in the future you dummy. Can’t you tell?” Saburo said, emphasizing his point by pushing a socked foot against Jiro’s shoulders where he was sitting on the floor by the coffee table lazily making an effort at his math homework. That sure got his attention as he turned around to shove Saburo’s leg back under him from his seat on the couch before processing what Saburo just told him.
“Wh- hold on- they are? Is that why everything looks so weird with the outfits?” Saburo sighed, even if the idiot's slow brain did save him from a cow bite to the thigh for pushing him around with his foot.
“Yes they're in the future and you could figure that out yourself if you just watched for details” he says it with a huff, but without any real heat behind it, he did still want Jiro to watch the rest of the show.
Jiro grumbles something about trying to do his homework, and how he would totally get it if he wasn't trying to remember how sigma notation worked, until something seems to click in his brain about what's going on on-screen.
“Whoa- are they meeting their future selves? Like that's the other girl as the scientist right?” Saburo looks down at Jiro, almost impressed with the connections he's making. Almost. Considering how obvious the show is about the supernatural elements, it wasn’t much, but for Jiro, this was pretty good. So Saburo graciously throws him a bone.
“Technically, it's their future selves from another dimension, but it is the same characters at their core” Jiro turns his head to look back at Saburo like he has suddenly seen why this show is cool halfway through watching it. Saburo lets a small smug grin sneak onto his face, he’ll never let anyone know, but having his brothers agree that the few shows he does watch are good is nice.
“So where's the main character? Surely she's gonna run into herself right?” Saburo has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from spoiling anything, he can’t tell Jiro, it’s going to be too funny when he gets unrealistically sad when he figures it out.
“Who knows? Maybe you missed her earlier when you were complaining about how you didn’t know what was going on” He tries to keep up the haughty act, throwing his head to the side as if he couldn’t believe how stupid Jiro was being. In reality he was just barely hiding the evil smile pushing the corners of his lips up, Saburo had found Noein pretty interesting, but knowing that Jiro was going to get blindsided by every single plot point is making him howl with laughter for the day when it all comes together.
Jiro grumbles at Saburo’s cryptic response, probably thinking he actually did miss the future version of the main character despite actually having been watching pretty intently, before whipping his head around in a rush.
“Wait! So that weird spikey guy is the kid with a crush on her? WHAT? He literally watched him almost die like six times from his teammate?!” Saburo has to snort at Jiro’s comment. It was kind of wild to think about a version of yourself from the future telling you that you were a stupid idiot because you were 10.
“If you met yourself from two years ago, would you not also deck him? Imagine if you had to watch yourself go through being a moody tween” Jiro does grimace at that idea before leaning all the way back so his head encroaches on Saburo’s territory on the couch. Saburo scoots his feet closer to his body so as not to pinch Jiro’s hair. Only after he moved did Saburo realize he could have yanked Jiro’s hair out and made him move, he could do that if he was feeling vicious. Saburo stays still as Jiro looks up at him.
“But like- if you could tell your past self something actually useful, what would you tell yourself? Because I don’t think calling myself an idiot from years ago would help” Jiro gestures towards the screen which has now moved onto a scene back in the normal timeline, said idiot character having a worse attitude than ever. He shrugs down at Jiro, thinking about the question.
“Something useful?” Saburo doesn’t know how or why Jiro was stuck on this idea.
“Yeah! Like something you probably shouldn’t have done when you think about it” Jiro says this as if it isn’t the question wasn’t the equivalent of pulling teeth. Until Saburo remembered a certain internet friend he wished he hadn’t done so many ‘favors’ for.
“Hah! That’s easy, don’t hack the government for information on Yumeno Gentaro, or maybe to steer clear of shady people on the darknet regardless of how good their information is” he punctuates it with a grimace, remembering sitting at that diner waiting for Rei. It’s enough to make him shiver a bit thinking back on how easily he was led into that situation. He doesn’t see it at the moment but Jiro’s brow furrows at his answer that gives away no further information on who ‘shady people on the internet’ means.
“Uhh, yea, that’s probably pretty solid. I think I would have to tell myself to chill out more and think for myself or something..” Jiro scratches at his ear and Saburo hums in agreement, they were both probably thinking about the time before the second DRB and how disjointed they had all been.
“That is surprisingly insightful Jiro, I didn’t think your tiny brain could produce thoughts that smart” Saburo pats Jiro on the head condescendingly, making sure each pat is more of a light slap than anything else.
“WHY YOU-” Jiro twists around so he can have easier access to Saburo to pull his hair and pinch his leg for being an asshole. He wrestles Saburo into a solid headlock even if Saburo thrashes the whole time, yowling like a cat.
“Jiro! Saburo! Don’t fight! Also can you go run down to the grocery store? We ran out of paprika” The interruption is enough to throw both of them off balance enough that they fall right off the couch and onto the floor, Saburo’s head just barely missing the corner of the table thanks to Jiro jerking him around as they go down. Jerk! Saburo makes sure to shove his arm into Jiro’s stomach while sitting up to tell Ichi-nii that it was Jiro’s fault.
Jiro’s way ahead of him for once however, as if predicting what Saburo was about to do he slaps his hand over Saburo’s mouth. Of course Saburo wastes no time licking Jiro’s hand despite knowing it's probably so dirty and gross and nasty and dirty and did Saburo say dirty? Either way the faster Saburo decides to lick Jiro’s hand the less time he has to think about what Jiro’s been touching since the last time he washed said hand. Jiro lets out an undignified shriek at the wet sensation on his hands because Saburo never resorts to licking his hand. It’s about the element of surprise, and Saburo had been playing the long game on that one for months.
Saburo wastes no time in his window of opportunity to shove his arm harder into Jiro’s stomach and run to the kitchen around the corner Jiro fast on his heels. When he gets into the kitchen Saburo wastes no time hiding behind Ichi-nii and clinging to him like a proper baby sibling who’s never done anything wrong in his life, and has most certainly never licked anyone. When Jiro busts in seconds later looking slightly winded from having his diaphragm forcefully collapsed he just barely manages to recover enough to proclaim the most recent injustice suffered at the hands of God’s favorite baby brother.
“HE LICKED ME!” he yells pointing at the root of all evil that is currently cuddling up to Ichiro like the world's most evil cat. Saburo’s lips curl up at the ends as Jiro goes on a tirade about how annoying Saburo was being and who Ichiro should tell him to stop because he was just acting cute to get out of trouble just look at the way he’s smirking! When Ichiro twists to catch Saburo’s face on his shoulder, Saburo’s face is schooled to that of the most innocent of 14 year olds, making sure to crank up the big eyes for maximum effect. Jiro lets out a screech of frustration.
“Ichi-nii I wouldn’t lick him, his hands are gross and he never washes them! Jiro just got mad because he didn’t get the show” Saburo sticks out his tongue at Jiro to really rub it in how well constructed his alibi is.
“I WAS GETTING IT!” Jiro’s face flushed at the accusation that he understands the anime less than Saburo, but even worse, less than Ichiro who had already watched the episode they were just watching.
“You didn’t know they time traveled to the future dimension. I had to tell you” Saburo spits back, voice lilting in a way that he knows drives Jiro fucking crazy, and it works as intended, Jiro’s just about to attack him like a dog before Ichi-nii breaks it up.
“Oh my god ENOUGH!” Ichiro punctuates the end of the argument by pinching Saburo on the cheek and throwing Jiro a disappointed look. Ichiro’s face pinches for a minute before he gives them both a wry smile that they nervously return.
“Anyways. Since you both seem to be done watching Noein for today-” Saburo starts to protest before Ichi-nii shoots him another look “-I was thinking you could run to the store for me really quick, we’re out of paprika and I still need to get started on the pasta” he gestures to the sauce he’s just started slow cooking with and gives them another smile “Please?” and Jiro and Saburo can’t really say no to their big brother and end up racing each other to their room to grab their coats to get out the door.
While Saburo remembers to grab one of Ichi-nii’s reusable owl bags he hears Jiro double back to the kitchen. Figures. Saburo stubbornly puts on his shoes a little faster and resolves to leave Jiro a block behind for this.
“Aniki I asked Saburo this too- if you could tell yourself from the past something actually useful, what would you say?” ah. That again. Saburo calls out for Jiro to hurry up, he’s about to open the door when he hears Ichi-nii hum and give a response. And with that Jiro comes rushing from behind to try and beat Saburo out the door. They promise to be back soon and make a beeline for the store, the argument from earlier forgotten.
Going to the store and getting paprika was so easy. It was So Easy. They were in and out in 10 minutes and they didn’t even argue when they picked out a pack of gum while waiting in line to pay. Saburo could already see how surprised Ichi-nii was going to be when they came back so quickly, bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation of going home and eating together. He wasn’t even in the mood to pick a fight with Jiro for a while everything was going so smoothly.
So of course they get fucking jumped on the way back from the store. Of course they do. It’s somehow Jiro’s fault, even if it was unprompted, and also because these guys had a bone to pick with Ichi-nii a couple years ago. Saburo didn’t really listen or care but the ‘Sonic Crashers’, which was for the fact, a stupid name, were hot to pick on teenagers this evening.
The battle was easy even without Ichi-nii there, and just as Saburo was about to finish up his verse and get on with going home when the leader pulled out another mic from his jacket. That should have been the first warning sign to run since no one carries around more than one mic unless they're looking for trouble. Most people who have a regulation hypnosis mix don't have a need for another one, unless of course, it's an illegal mic.
And by god this motherfucker who calls himself the leader of the stupid Sonic Crashers does pull out what Saburo can tell is an illegal mic and if that just didn’t summarize Saburo’s luck when he and Jiro try and go anywhere without Ichi-nii actively supervising them, well he didn’t know what did
Saburo’s verse ends and knocks down the leader's two lackeys, he's not really in the mood to have this dragged out much longer, in fact, he's really digging the idea of just running away from this guy. Even if, practically, Saburo knew his chances of outrunning anyone was generally pretty low, surely this guy was too much of a scrub to have more stamina than him. He’s picking on teenagers. This man is at rock bottom.
But anyways, getting jumped, illegal mic, if Jiro sees him pull out the second mic it doesn’t slow him down while he barks out the start of his next verse. Any quick thinking Saburo could possibly do in this situation would also require a psychic link to his dumb brother to key him in. Either way, all their efforts are rendered null when the guy switches on the mic and produces the most unholy sound Saburo’s heard in a long, long time.
The first hit of the mic is an endurable, but overall terrible experience, Saburo can hear Jiro grunt at the force of it and can’t help but agree as he feels his footing start to slip. The leader looks worse for wear after just one quick verse with the mic, and for a moment Saburo puts hope in the idea that maybe the idiot will keel over before he can get anything else out, but then the brute raises the mic again and Saburo blacks out by the second bar.
When he comes to, his head is pounding, unlike anything the DRB matches ever hit him with. He can feel himself lose his balance after opening his eyes, finding himself miraculously still upright despite the ordeal, and falls promptly back onto his butt on the cold hard ground. He lets out a whine. When he’s answered with a similarly pathetic groan he glances up and sees that Jiro is suffering similar head pains at the moment and allows himself to snort at how stupid Jiro looks. But laughing even a little makes his head hurt more so he resolves to just keep groaning on the ground, only to look up in a panic when he remembers the source of his headache.
Both his and Jiro’s mics are off and their speakers are nowhere to be seen. A brief glance up and down the street reveals it to be quite empty of any loud rowdy men looking to disturb the peace.
The Sonic Crashers are nowhere in sight and Saburo can’t say he wants to finish the fight they were having, even if he knew that dude wasn’t a match for them even with illegal mic. He doesn’t know how they got away from them, and he doesn’t know how long he and Jiro have been out from the after effects of the illegal mic. Saburo knows he knocked down two of his lackeys, there was no way that guy could have dragged them off in the state he was in, let alone after using that mic. Saburo’s head gives another painful throb and he grinds the palms of his hands into his eye sockets to try and relieve the pain.
Honestly, truly, really, Saburo’s glad the thugs aren’t here anymore. Even if it doesn’t make any goddamn sense. That too is somehow Jiro’s fault. Whatever. They’ve taken way too long on this shopping trip and Ichi-ni is going to think they stopped to fight with each other like 3 times. This was supposed to be easy and now Saburo is going to have to stay away from even regular levels of noise for the rest of the evening. If this somehow drags itself out any longer Saburo will just lay down in the middle of the Shibuya scramble and let the crowd flatten him and his miserable miserable brain. He doesn't even know how he'd get to Shibuya. Whatever. He sighs and takes his hands off his face.
“Let's take the shortcut through the park, this is taking too long” Saburo can feel a headache beginning to squeeze him in a vice. He squints up at Jiro and hopes his stupid brother who is the root of every problem he can think of at the moment will just agree with him for once.
“Yea, Aniki’s gonna think we argued if we take any longer” Jiro takes off his hat to rub at his neck before placing it back on. He offers Saburo his arm and pulls his little brother to his feet. Saburo won’t let Jiro know that he was thinking the same thing, he won’t, that would be embarrassing that he was thinking on the same level of a numbskull. But if he lets out a sigh of relief loud enough for even Jiro to hear then well, that never actually happened. So, Saburo just nods and sets off towards the park a couple blocks from the street they’ve been loitering on.
They walk in near silence as they both catch their breath. It’s not quite dark, but it’s getting there, the shadows casting longer and longer since they left home, which only adds to Saburo’s dismal mental state and he and Jiro trudge home. They’re going slower than usual due to the general disorientation from their earlier run in, and that also adds to Saburo’s dismal mental state. By the time they enter the park Saburo has already planned the next five arguments he’s going to have with Jiro when they get home. He's going to make them messy. He's so cranky he might not even care if it also fucks up Ichi-ni’s night. Serves him right for hoping his two kid brothers could function for 20 minutes.
Jiro shoulders the shopping bag as they walk past the fountain, and Saburo does see him side eye their surroundings, but he also doesn't care. They're almost through the park, there is literally nothing that could distract Saburo from getting home at this point.
That is of course the case until an atrocious suit catches Saburo’s eye. When he pauses just a bit in his trudging to get a better look at the freak in the neon blue suit on a Friday evening in the park he comes up blank. He’d surely recognize a dude who hung around the park in a suit like that, has he seen this guy around before?
Maybe it’s the oncoming headache, but it takes him a little longer than Saburo is proud to admit to to recognize the mint green hair that calls back to his most recent experience at the DRB. Is that fucking Sasara? Surely not. Sasara lives in Osaka and surely wouldn't show up in a random park in Ikebukuro in the worst suit Saburo has seen since the last time he saw Sasara. Saburo’s about to keep walking out of sheer determination to not interact with that mess at all when Jiro seems to also notice the comedian. Fuck.
Saburo knows Jiro is going to go start shit with Sasara, he knows this. Jiro who although closer with Ichiro than ever, absolutely cannot get over the gut pooling rage of the fact that Rei is in his division. Saburo, who is much better adjusted, thank you very much , knows that Sasara is Just Some Dude. Saburo doesn’t care about Sasara. He doesn’t care or even get slightly paranoid about why he’s here and who could be here with him. He just wants to go home really quickly because he just wants to ok? Saburo is feeling pretty satisfied with the fact that he just won that argument with Jiro in his head when Jiro starts to move. Saburo grabs a fistfull of his shirt in an attempt to slow him down
Jiro takes off towards Sasara with Saburo in tow, clinging to his shirt to try and drag him back so they can just go home . Saburo doesn’t even care why the comedian is here. He doesn’t care if Rei is here either actually, he just wants to give Ichi-nii his paprika and then go lay on his bed in the dark for the rest of the night until his headache from that stupid illegal mic goes away.
But Saburo can't have anything nice today, and Jiro is already halfway into Sasara’s space. Crowding the bench Sasara is reclined on, halfway through the motion of pulling out a cigarette. Sasara isn't paying attention to them, but Jiro’s going to change that.
“What’re you doing here?” Jiro’s tone is rougher than usual and Saburo would be willing to overlook Jiro’s need to pick a fight with the leader of the division of their shitbag dad if they hadn’t already experienced the joyous highs and lows of rap battling ten minutes ago, shithead . Stop picking battles Jiro, Saburo isn't fucking paying for those, put some back.
Sasara looks up from his not-yet lit cigarette and squints at Jiro and Saburo trailing behind them. He doesn’t say anything about what he’s doing in Ikebukuro and he doesn’t offer any answers and most weird of all, doesn't show any recognition towards them. Which. Rude. Sure he's a famous comedian but surely he'd remember the younger brothers of a guy who he used to be in a group with, plus his recent competitors from the DRB. Jyuto still gets their names wrong on purpose but he never acts like he doesn’t know who they are. This is just a new level of being a dick. Whatever. Saburo can unpack the level of dickishness later, he wants to go home now . Something is weird right now and Saburo wants to be far away from it.
“Jiro…” Saburo doesn't whine. He's not whining… but he does work up some gooey mushy sad little brother eyes that he hasn't hit Jiro with in a good long while. He wants to go home dangit, and he's absolutely going to cheat to do it. It knocks Jiro off his rhythm enough to get him to pause his attempted confrontation with Sasara. Saburo turns his full attention to his brother and consequently misses a small eyebrow raise and a calculating once over of the two teenagers, pausing for just a second to take in
Jiro blinks at him like he can't believe Saburo is willing to back down from a fight, and jerks his chin in emphasis as if to say Don't you want to know why he's here? No. Saburo doesn't care anymore actually, and he conveys this sentiment thoroughly with his eyebrows.
While this happens Sasara has pursed his lips together in a small frown, eyes flicking back and forth between the two brothers. He stuffs his unlit cigarette back into the box and goes for his phone instead.
Listen, Jiro’s stupid but Sasara surely isn’t. And from the way Jiro and Saburo have been acting he’s certainly picked up that something is funny about the situation right now. And Saburo really doesn’t want the first adult they involve in this situation to be a nationally beloved comedian and occasional DRB participant who they crushed in the first round. Sasara’s an adult but not one that's high on Saburo's list of figures that he'd like to hash out their recent encounter with an illegal mic user with.
But this seems to be exactly what is happening. Sasara is looking a little too interested in this interaction to go back to his smoke for him to just drop the conversation and Saburo can only hope he lets them leave quickly.
Sasara takes out his phone and starts tapping away on it. Cool. This is the best outcome actually. This is the perfect time for a getaway so Saburo resumes tugging on Jiro’s jacket in full force so they can just fucking run home far away from this clown and his neon blue suit that has no business in a nice public park that Saburo likes to frequent. Jiro, for his part, turns to look at Saburo and seems to catch his drift. He takes a look at Sasara who seems to be calling for someone else to come meet him in the park, and looks back at Saburo with the determination that only a stupid high school part-time jock part-time delinquent can have. Oh hell. Oh god fucking damnit. Saburo really doesn’t want to be sweaty on top of having a headache, but it looks like that’s a sacrifice he might have to make.
Meanwhile Sasara seems to have gotten his call to pick up, holding up a hand for the two brothers to pause their unspoken escape plan while he makes his greetings over the phone.
“Hey! Wh- no I didn’t- NO! You know i’m not that stupid- oh don’t say that~ no- OK. Listen there’s something I need you to come meet me in the park to see- no I swear you need to come to the park, no I know we were gonna meet by the combini but something came up and you reaaaaally gotta come here like, now” Sasara shoots the two of them a Look that has them freeze in place of their continued sibling psychic argument before continuing. Jiro’s on the verge of fidgeting again when Sasara's next sentence renders them still again.
“Ok but no really, meet me at the park stat. I'm suuuuuper serious Samatoki- would I joke with you? Ok no don't answer that-”
Saburo’s sense of something being weird quickly jumps to something being wrong as he quickly pieces together parts of Sasara’s one sided conversation. Ichiro had explained how Sasara and Samatoki had recently made up with each other after the DRB like he and Kuko had, but Saburo is pretty sure they weren't on the level of friendliness that would invite phone calls, let alone explain why Samatoki Aohitsugi was ALSO in Ikebukuro. Saburo tightens his grip on Jiros shirt.
The look Jiro sends him in return is one of the most collected looks of panic Saburo has ever seen on Jiros face, as if he too had realized that they were in over their heads in this situation. No shit Jiro, Saburo’s mind works double time to come up with a plan for how to get out of this.
“You're on your way? Great! I’d tell you to text the other two but you know how they are about checking texts when they're looking for trouble, yea yea, bye~” Sasara finishes his phone call and snaps his phone closed with a clat sound and then leans forward on the bench to address them. Saburo shifts just a tad to stand behind Jiro, which he's doing because it makes for an easier getaway. Not because he's intimidated by Sasara.
“I don't know what you two are doing out this late, but I'm pretty sure Ichiro would want you two back home where it's safe, people aren't nice to kids at this hour” It doesn't sound like a threat, Saburo is pretty sure it's supposed to come off as friendly advice from a friend of their older brothers. Saburo is pretty sure , but not sure enough .
Actually, hold on, why is Sasara scolding them, of all people? Ichi-nii had literally sent them out just half an hour ago, they had their mics plus, Saburo was 14, he could defend himself. Sasara has literally rap battled the two of them, he should know they could defend themselves.
Saburo frowns at the idea that Sasara has some sort of misplaced desire to coddle them, which only reinforces the need for the brothers to get out of this conversation and subsequently, this park. He puffs out a breath through his nose, Sasara isn’t mad right now and Jiro got them into this situation by being easily riled up, and Saburo is smarter than Jiro, there’s another solution.
Sometimes stupid situations require dumb answers. Which means this is a situation in which Jiro could charm his way through way better than Saburo could. If Sasara wanted to treat them like kids then they were gonna have to turn up the adolescent charm. While Saburo loathes to admit it, Jiro has a lot of friends for a reason, so it’s best to let him take the lead here.
Saburo turns from Sasara to send Jiro a hard look and psychically tells him to play dumb and friendly. Jiro seems to understand his message and nods as if to tell him he'll handle it. Saburo relaxes a little. Saburo forgets that this is Jiro and dumb is his natural state, any further attempts to act dumb leave him dumber than rocks.
“Uhh…What brother?” Oh my god.
Sasara raises a single, thin, accusatory, green eyebrow at them, and makes a show of tilting his head while giving them a once over. What a comedian.
“I know you two don't get along with him great but I don't think anyone wants their kid brothers to get jumped” What? Whatever the fuck is happening is surely not happening. Saburo isn't going to unpack that sentence and any of its implications until after they are far away from the twilight zone Sasara has currently trapped them in. The twilight zone that he had summoned Samatoki Aohitsugi to. Right. Ok. Priorities. Staying the hell away from Samatoki. Saburo will unpack Sasara’s wildly off-base summary of their relationship with Ichi-nii later.
“It’s hard to miss the family resemblance kid, anyways, you two just hang out for a minute for Samatoki to get here and we’ll bring you back home” Uh, no the fuck they weren’t gonna do that, Saburo makes a face at him that Sasara seems to take as a rebuttal to his statement and cracks one of his eyes open to stare Saburo down with razor sharp yellow eyes.
While usually the remark over the resemblance would warm Saburo, right now he was wishing Sasara was not that observant, and Ok yea, the situation isn’t great. The evidence is pretty damning, what with the heterochromia and moles, and the hair, and the fact that Saburo had used Jiro’s name earlier.
That’s not even touching on the fact that Jiro is wearing the old red sweatshirt Saburo is pretty sure Ichi-nii ran around in when he was Jiro’s current age, hell, Saburo is wearing the fucking chain Ichi-nii wore on his belt. Saburo thinks Samatoki’s stupid as hell, but surely no one is that stupid. Id Sasara has sussed them out from their already short interaction, then they were doomed if anyone else showed up. They need to get out of here before Samatoki shows up and makes this worse.
So despite Saburo's knowledge that he surely can't outrun either of his brothers, and consequently most averagely athletic adults. He turns on heel and starts running. Jiro and Sasara both let out a yelp of surprise at Saburo’s frantic escape attempt, Jiro making to run off with him while Sasara stays rooted to the bench he’d called Samatoki to meet him at.
“DON’T FUCKING RUN?” Sasara yelps indignantly, moving a couple steps but halts in his tracks. Good. let his fear of Samatoki getting his ass for ditching him keep him rooted on the spot for another 10 minutes while they make a clean getaway.
“NO?” Jiro yells incredulously back over both his and Saburo’s shoulder as he has already managed to overcome the short lead Saburo had on him. Jiro’s not even wearing sneakers today, he’s got on those stupid fucking electric blue crocs, Saburo can’t even beat Jiro with that handicap, this is so unfair . He keeps running though, second place is still second place and he just needs to be faster than Sasara right now.
They’re across the square and making good time for teenagers who’ve spent all day watching anime inside when they have to dodge out of the way of some asshole in a leather jacket strolling down the middle of the path like he fucking owns it. Jiro clips the asshole’s shoulder and Saburo just manages to jerk around him to keep running and almost trips for his efforts. The dude lets out a sound of aggravation at the shoulder check but it’s really all secondary to what they hear coming from behind them as soon as they pass the dude.
“SAMATOKI HOLY SHIT” Sasara is fucking yelling like a madman from behind them but Saburo couldn’t see Samatoki as far as he could see, who was he yelling at?
“Sasara?” Was that fucking asshole Samatoki? Saburo though he looked like an asshole normally with that stupid Hawaiin shirt but holy shit-
“DON’T LET ICHIRO’S KID BROTHERS RUN OFF” Ohhhhh fuck. Oh shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. Saburo remembers somewhere in the back of his head that Samatoki and Ichi-nii were once compared to each other, and then thinks about how much faster Ichi-nii is than him. Of course the rest of his brain is focused on keeping himself from toppling over and cursing the fact that he was wearing so many layers right now. He got cold easily ok? Ichi-nii and Jiro are always hot and keep the ac on and fucking sue him if he was wearing an old sweatshirt over a sweater. Saburo can only pray his body temperature remains low enough that he doesn’t overheat from the running.
“Ichiro’s- his WHAT” Oh yeah that’s definitely Samatoki back there, Saburo has never met anyone who growls like that. Worse is that he can hear Sasara’s fancy dress shoes hitting the path and rapidly getting louder by the second.
“THERE’S NO TIME! RUN BITCH” Samatoki lets out a grunt like he’s been jumped by a particularly large and excited dog, but Saburo has long tuned them out at this point as they clear the park exit and dash across the street in time for the crosswalk timer to end.
“STOP RUNNING BRATS!” Oh Samatoki is yelling now too, but that is literally not Saburo’s problem. He hears Sasara let out a screech as the two adults almost get mowed down by a cyclist trying to cross the street after the brothers and Saburo hopes, just a little, that the next one doesn’t miss them.
Now if they were fucked earlier when Sasara had them standing around, they are certainly no better off now when he is fully willing to run after them with Samatoki in tow. Saburo knows this, but honestly? The running idea is going great. Saburo’s quick (manic) thinking has made Samatoki and Sasara too baffled to properly catch up to them for the moment. The disjointed meetup of the two only widening the gap between the pairs, and Saburo and Jiro’s slightly smaller builds are coming in hand as they weave past pedestrians and down the street.
Mad Comic Dialogue might have had a base in Ikebukuro back before the Dirty Dawg formed, but Jiro and Saburo have spent years running around these backstreets finding lost dogs and doing deliveries and can absolutely slip away from them. They reach the end of the block and cross the street again before ducking down an alleyway that spits out onto a busy main street. It’s a good strategy to ensure their escape by mixing in with a crowd for a while, but god if it doesn’t make Saburo’s head pulse. When he looks back he’s pretty sure he can’t see the distinctive looks of their pursuers, but that doesn’t really put him at ease. They’re still barely out of proximity to the park and the crowd is slowing them down almost inversely as much as it’s helping them.
They duck down street after street, running until the sidewalks slowly clear of pedestrians and the shadows grow longer as they disappear farther into the depths of the city. Saburo can no longer hear Samatoki or Sasara, behind them, just his own blood rushing in his ears and his erratic breath tinged with a hint of a raspy wheeze. Jiro stops on the corner for a minute and Saburo isn’t sure what he’s stopped for, not sure he wants to ask when he is so, so, glad they aren’t running anymore when he hears what Jiro must have picked up on.
“Why were they in the park this late? Shouldn’t they be at the home?” Agitation bleeds through the words and is punctuated by a phlegmy cough that makes Saburo think of cigarettes.
“I don’t know why they were on their own! That's why I called you! Eugh, why are they running like this? I don't think they’ve ever even heard of me” A matching phlegmy cough matches the previous one, this time Saburo can pick up Sasara’s distinctive tone even around the corner. They must be a block or two away at most, Saburo’s heart flutters in anxiety. He didn’t want to deal with them before, and he really didn’t want to deal with Sasara and Samatoki after they had chased them around for twenty minutes. Jiro pushes Saburo back towards the other direction, but he can still hear the end of Sasara and Samatoki’s conversation. Another cough followed by a groan from probably-Samatoki-
“I mean you mentioned Ichiro didn’t you?” It’s quiet, more so than anything else they’ve said so far, another sigh. Saburo drags his feet behind Jiro but picks up his pace as he can hear the two’s footsteps growing closer by the minute.
“I know he’s got a rough relationship with them right now but surely it isn’t this bad” Sasara says in a similarly subdued fashion, Saburo doesn’t even process whats being said as he can already feel bile running up his throat upon picking up a jog after his brother far far away from the division leaders.
Time passes by Saburo like water as they bob and weave picking directions semi at random in an effort to cover as much distance as possible and stay out of open areas of high visibility.
The erratic running pays off even if Saburo's lungs are burning for a break because they definitely lose Sasara and Samatoki when they duck down a couple more back alleys. When Saburo notices this he slows his pace to try and catch his breath, only for Jiro to grab his wrist and keep pulling him down the alley. Considering Jiro is the one who actually runs around Ikebukuro all the time, Saburo figures he might as well let him take the lead. If they need to keep running then Saburo will try to keep up as best he can. Jiro does look back to check on him every couple steps to make sure he isn't going to pass out on him, which would be more touching if he wasn't continuing to drag Saburo through the streets like a rag doll.
Even so the two brothers keep moving away from the park and away from the main roads, Jiro taking them deeper and deeper into the back alleyways of the residential area that Saburo can vaguely recognize from the times he and Jiro have taken the long way home after school. They finally slow down just enough that Saburo has enough breath to complain and he takes the full opportunity to do so.
“Jiro I’m going to throw uuuuuup” and he is whining at this point, the fact that he’s out of breath does nothing for making him come off as even partially as put together as he would like to be right now, but the headache is coming back full force with the lack of oxygen and he really is feeling the full nausea of the amount of running they’ve just done. He needs Jiro to stop or Jiro is going to have to pick his lifeless body up and figure it out on his own.
Saburo must look particularly pathetic because Jiro does stop as soon as he turns to get a look at him, glancing around he pulls them both to the nearest convenience store and corals Saburo back to the back of the store and down a random row, which happens to have magazines on it. Jiro then disappears off to another row but presses a hand into Saburo’s shoulder to tell him to stay put and catch his breath. Saburo hopes he’s going to the drink aisle.
God Saburo kinda really wants a sports drink right now, surely a gatorade would fix him right now. He’s also too tired to go after Jior to pick one out and just hopes Jiro remembers his favorite ones.
Saburo resorts to staring blankly at the magazines on this aisle while trying to slow his breathing in between pulses of his headache. There's a magazine on cooking, one for lifestyle, and some kind of tabloid talking about the recent activities of Stairway to Heaven, one on cars, another on cooking but this one was baking specific it looked like- wait. Stairway to Heaven? Even through the fogginess of his brain through the headache and exercise Saburo absolutely wouldn’t forget that name in his lifetime. There was no way they’d ever make a resurgence in Ikebukuro when Buster Bros sat at the top of the food chain. Not only was that group dismantled when Mozuku got arrested, but Saburo knows that Ichi-nii took a particularly vicious pleasure in chasing out any past members on principle.
There wasn’t any fucking way. Saburo picks up the magazine to get a better look at it and comes up feeling a little ill when he sees the publication date. Saburo’s surely just having a moment of Jiro levels of stupidity and puts the magazine back and grabs one of the cooking ones to check the date on that one too. He does this with the whole row of magazines, which all come up with the same date. OK. ok. He presses a hand to his forehead and tries to push down the rising panic.
Jiro rounds the corner with two drinks in his hands but pauses when he sees Saburo. He approaches slowly before bumping one of the drinks against Saburo’s forehead. Motions slowed in concern at seeing Saburo still suffering the effects of the mic from earlier.
“Did your headache get worse?” Yes, it did, but that’s not the problem. Saburo grasps the drink from Jiro, it's a blue gatorade, his favorite. He squints at Jiro under the LED lights of the convenience store and thinks about how to break this to his incredibly stupid brother.
“Jiro… I think that mic did something really bad” His voice is raspy from dryness, making him wish he could open the drink and pay for it later. He’s not an animal but Saburo wants to really badly for a good second.
“To your head? Are you ok? Should I call Aniki?” Jiro gets up in his face like he’s going to somehow see the headache, presses a hand to Saburo’s forehead which was still slightly damp from the condensation of the drink, as if the headache is a fever. Dumbass. Saburo lets out a breath of frustration. He blows up at Jiro’s hand until he retracts his hand from his face, and levels Jiro with a frown.
“I don’t know if we can do that right now-” Jiro doesn’t get it still and it's making Saburo so tired and cranky, he coughs to clear his throat before Jiro cuts him off.
“Hah? Aniki might be cooking but he’s not too busy to come get you-” Saburo shoves the magazine in his hands, the one about cars, at Jiro.
“What’s up with the cars stupid” Jiro leans around the hand Saburo has shoved in his face, thats another point on Saburo’s mental checklist for his theory of Jiro being illiterate he guesses, but really not helpful right now.
“Jiro, the date. Look at the date” He hisses, shaking the magazine for emphasis. Jiro pauses any motions he was making to take another look at the cover before his eyes bug out.
“Huh.” Yea. Huh indeed. By all means every single magazine in this store is dated two years in the past, and unless this specific store sells nothing but out of date magazines, that mic has somehow sent them to the past, which means that Samatoki and Sasara really are Ikebukuro residents at the moment, and Ichi-nii is-
Well Saburo isn’t sure what can be said for the situation other than they are really and truly fucked.