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It all happens in the blink of an eye. One second Goro’s standing beside Akira and Kasumi as their teammate (still an absurd concept) and the next he’s facing them as a complete stranger. The Makajamaon skill they’d been hit with was clearly doing its job. The shadow that caused the ailment had disintegrated under Loki’s attacks, yet the status effect lingered.
“Where are we?” Akira speaks first, looking around casually with his hands shoved into his coat pockets. When he notices his flashy get-up he smirks, an expression that’s still so clearly Joker despite having lost touch with that part of himself. “Hey, I look good.”
This prompts Kasumi to look down at her own outfit. Not for the first time, Goro notes how similar her outfit is to Joker’s. She seems to make that connection as well and squeaks, “Are we in a play?”
They examine their Metaverse attire until Goro coughs into his fist, still standing there and unfortunately witnessing the whole thing. They turn to him with equal looks of confusion.
“Are you the villain?” Kasumi asks, stepping closer. She reaches out a tentative hand to touch him before Goro smacks it away. “Oh, sorry! Your costume looks so well made.”
“You have so many belts,” Akira comments, also stepping closer. Goro doesn’t expect Akira to touch him, so he makes no effort to move away. It was a poor lapse in judgment, as Akira wraps his hand around Goro’s tricep and gives it a firm squeeze.
“...Oh!” Kasumi’s face reddens, and Goro knows instantly what she is going to say next, “My apologies, I don’t mean to intrude.”
“Let’s go.” Goro grits out, yanking his arm back from Akira’s hold. Akira is unfazed, and instead reaches out to tug on the belt around Goro’s waist.
“Is this a fashion thing?” Akira asks, ignoring Goro’s murderous glare as he proceeds to pull on every belt Goro is wearing. When Akira moves to one on his thigh, Goro fights back the urge to kick him in the face. Though, that would be one way to possibly cure the forget ailment. “You’re kinda cute.”
“Joker,” Goro hisses exasperatedly, “Get a hold of yourself!”
“Joker?” Akira parrots back, bringing a hand up to his chin. “I like it.”
“Is that your name in the play?” Kasumi asks, mirroring his expression.
“There is no– can we just get a move on?” Akira and Kasumi look at him in confusion, and then turn back to each other.
“Where are we going?”
“I hope the stage isn’t too bright. I’m used to it because of gymnastics, but still.”
“You do gymnastics? I’ve always wanted to learn.”
“Yes, with my sister! I could teach you in my free time.”
“Akira. Yoshizawa-san.” Goro rubs at his temple with his lips pressed in a thin line. This was beginning to give him a migraine. “I believe it’s best if we return for the day.”
“Akira-san, you have a nice name!” Kasumi giggles, and Goro feels a little ill at how quickly this is going downhill. “I’m Yoshizawa Kasumi. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Kurusu Akira. Say,” Akira turns to Goro with a mischievous grin. “You called me by my first name. Are you making a move on me because I called you cute?”
“You–” Goro sputters, feeling his face traitorously turn red in embarrassment. Before he can make a rebuttal, Kasumi shrieks from where she stands a few paces away. Carried away by the nonsense, Goro almost forgets they are in a palace, ruler’s identity unknown, and across the three of them he is the only one in a stable mental state. He can’t say he saw that one coming.
“Wh-What is that?” Kasumi steps back from a shadow that is slowly stalking towards her. Goro reaches up and takes his mask off, summoning Loki forward to deal with the weakling. It’s gone in seconds, a pathetic thing that chose the wrong day to cross his path.
Goro expects Akira and Kasumi to be afraid, or to make a run for it, or literally anything but what they actually do. They start to clap. Akira tosses in a whistle, and Kasumi joins him with shrill cheers. Goro is dumbstruck when he turns to look at them.
“How many tries did that take you?” Akira asks, adjusting his gloves. “Making it look so good, I mean.”
“Quite a few.” Goro replies casually, not exactly lying. That move was witnessed by many shadows before Loki perfected it. The first few times were incredibly sloppy.
“Yeah, it looked so real!” Kasumi adds, jumping on her heels. “I want to see it again, er…”
“Wait, we still don’t know your name yet.” Akira finishes with a frown. “If my name is Joker, then what do I call you?”
Goro thinks about it. He’s tempted to say a multitude of names that flash through his mind, just because he can. When the forget wears off, Akira might remember this and change his code name because he’ll think it’s what Goro wants. Ultimately, he sighs out the most familiar name. “Crow.”
“Crow.” Akira mutters, staring at Goro. His expression shifts to clarity for a second before it’s replaced by a smirk. “Crow. Because of the outfit. Got it.”
“Do I have a name?” Kasumi asks in a small voice, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Goro has no idea what naming conventions the thieves take up these days. He’d ask them, if only they weren’t off playing house in their pretend realities.
“You can come up with it yourself.” Goro offers.
Kasumi beams in response. “Violet! You can call me Violet. I’ve always loved that name.”
“Great. Now then, let’s return to the entrance.”
Unfortunately for Goro, parading around with two useless persona users in a palace is not an easy feat. The shadows close by aren’t hostile at first, but with Kasumi and Akira running up to them and instigating because they think they’re in some play or movie or whatever, they always end up getting dragged into combat.
By the third or forth battle, Goro grows used to the cheers behind him when he lands a hit or shields his worthless teammates. He also realizes, with a bit of mortification, that he enjoys having an audience praise his efforts. He’ll be taking that with him to the grave.
It feels weird to be the one leading them around, but Goro understands how Akira could become addicted to this feeling of being depended on. From what little he’s seen of Kasumi’s persona, she’s still incredibly weak. In comparison, Akira’s favorite persona to use these days is nicknamed Shadow of God. So, there’s that.
When they stop to rest in an empty hallway, Akira points to a poster on the wall outlining the basics of cognitive psience that’s hanging above Kasumi’s head. “Hey, check this out. Wouldn’t it be cool if this is real?”
Goro nearly chokes. Kasumi reads the poster and nods furiously. “Yeah! It would be nice to become someone else for a change.”
“What kind of person would you want to become, Crow?” Akira asks, pressing against his shoulder. He leans in and drops his voice, “You can’t say attractive.”
Goro snorts and shoves him away. He really hopes Akira remembers this. “A moronic question. I don’t wish to become anyone, I’m content with who I am.”
“Someone a bit kinder would be nice,” Kasumi adds idly, and then immediately slaps her hands over her mouth. “O-Oh, I mean…that was so rude of me, I apologize. I just meant because you look like a villain... wait.” Akira erupts into laughter as she furiously blushes and tries to backtrack.
Goro stalks off, gets reminded by Robin Hood that they could literally get killed without him, and comes back. With a frustrated grunt, he grabs them each by the wrist and starts tugging them in what he believes to be the correct direction. Goro prays to whatever god is listening - or demon, he doesn’t judge - that they’ll snap out of it before they return to the real world. With things being how they are, there is no telling what would happen if the ailment didn’t wear off.
They didn't venture far in to start with, but navigating is hard when you’re constantly being pulled in two directions. Goro can’t keep up with what they’re talking about anymore. Akira tells Kasumi a story about his childhood, while she replies with stories about competitions she and her sister have with one another. To that, Akira admits that he’s always wanted a cat. It seems like forgetting how to have a conversation is part of the ailment.
“Crooooow,” Akira whines next to his ear, and pulls free from Goro’s grip to instead sling an arm over his shoulder. Goro nearly trips under the weight suddenly pressing down on him. “I’m soooo tired. I can’t remember how to walk.”
“Me toooo,” Kasumi follows suit, her arm stacking on top of Akira’s, “Do I put one foot in front of the other? Or do I move them both at once?” She pauses to giggle, “Wait, I think I got it? You just drag them!”
Akira lets his head loll forward, and Goro spares a glance to find him staring keenly at his feet. “I swear, you use your hands.”
Goro is going to learn necromancy, revive the shadow that did this, and kill it again.
Channeling all the hatred and anger he’s carried around for the last nineteen years, Goro finds the strength to haul the three of them to the safe room he remembers passing. The distortion shift is a bit disorienting, but Akira and Kasumi don’t seem bothered as they collapse onto one of the couches in relief.
“I feel like I’m forgetting something.” Kasumi says as she leans back.
“No shit.” Goro replies, tugging on Akira’s sleeve. “Akira, empty your pockets.”
Akira does as he’s told. Goro has always thought Akira’s pockets to be endless, but today he gets to witness how much shit he truly carries in there. Knives, vials of medicine, that one gun with flashy wings, receipts, and even books emerge and are placed onto the table.
Goro picks up a book in disbelief. “Why are you carrying around a guide about fishing?”
“You never know when you’ll need new reeling techniques.” Akira replies, completely serious. Kasumi starts laughing after a few seconds of silence have passed.
At the very top of Hoarder’s Mountain, Akira places a single pack of wafers. They’re shaped in the logo of the Phantom Thieves. Goro finds it to be the most pretentious, infuriating thing he’s ever seen in his life. Before he can toss them in the trash, Akira notices them and reaches out.
“Those look good.” Akira tears off the plastic packaging. He shoves one into his mouth under Goro’s ireful gaze, and just like that it’s like a spell has been lifted.
Goro witnesses the exact moment Akira comes to. He wildly looks around, locking eyes with Goro, then with the pile of his shit on the table, and then back to Goro. He has the decency to finish eating the wafer before he speaks. “That… I….”
“You were not dreaming.” Goro says a bit stiffly, “Don’t you dare disregard the hell I went through for you today.”
Akira rubs the back of his neck and hands the second wafer to Kasumi, who happily eats it in one bite. Her awakening is anticlimactic, as she simply blinks between the two of them and covers her mouth with a quiet “Oh.” The silence is so oppressive that Goro almost wishes they’d go back to teaching each other how basic motor skills worked again.
Akira stands up. “Sorry Crow for, uh,” he makes a vague motion with his hands, “That.”
“I guess we really lost sight of ourselves back there.” Kasumi adds with a chuckle, rising to join him. “Sorry for calling you a villain, Akechi-senpai. I know that isn't you.”
Goro blinks. He tosses a questioning glance to Akira, who merely shrugs in response. Goro shakes his head. “Forget about it, Yoshizawa-san. Are we going to resume the investigation?”
“Yes!” Kasumi salutes playfully, and bounces towards the door. “I’ll keep a lookout for any shadows while we prepare!”
Goro lingers behind, watching with amusement as Akira packs his things away like a magician. Feeling vengeful, Goro dusts off his Detective Prince mask and gives Akira his best plastic smile. "You were quite forward with me today, Kurusu-kun." Just as he suspects, the effect is immediate. Akira's cheeks turn a deep red and he averts his eyes.
"I was in a haze." Akira mumbles in explanation. It's weak, but Goro doesn't press him on it. There's more important matters to get to.
When Akira slips out of the room to join Kasumi, Goro reaches for the last wafer and takes a bite. It tastes exactly how he expects - dry and bland. He scoffs as he throws out the rest of it in the trash, and catches a glimpse of Akira and Kasumi through the door. The public never really did get to know the real Phantom Thieves.