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“You know Zoro,” Sanji nestled his head deeper into the other man’s neck as he spoke, the words coming out muffled in the process, “the last time I felt like this was…years ago.”
Zoro hummed, Sanji feeling the vibrations from it due to the lack of space between them, the feeling giving him an odd sense of comfort. Figuring he has more to say, Zoro stayed quiet, a hand going up and tan fingers tangling into contrasting golden locks instead.
“When my mother was still here.” He felt a lump in his throat as added to his earlier sentence but felt the need to say more and opted to ignore it, “Reiju’s always been the only one who really cared about me other than my mother, and she’s never really…hugged me. Ever.” He took a deep breath, “There was no warmth even from my brothers’ hands when they would, you know. The most I got since my mother was when Reiju pushed me to let me be free, or as free as possible in a world with shitty people like them.” Sanji took a few more deep breaths, the sensation now more clear than ever with the recent endeavour involving the Vinsmokes.
Zoro started placing kisses from the top of Sanji’s head, down to his temple, then the shell of his ear - anywhere he could reach, really - to encourage the other man who clearly had way more to say rather than stopping him.
“I still feel it on my back sometimes. It’s an odd feeling, though - might just be because her body’s not like a normal human’s, but it could never compare to the warmth my mother gave me. It felt more like she was…” he paused, considering his next words carefully, “trying to give me what my mother couldn’t after she left. But it was in a way like she was afraid to do anymore than she already had. Which, I suppose, is true. She needed to protect herself too.”
Sanji didn’t know why he was rambling on about this so out of the blue. Maybe he had just been holding all this back from Zoro. Every time the other man held him or so much as put a hand on his shoulder, the warmth and tenderness behind it would remind him of the kindness his mother always showed him all those years ago - despite being on her own death bed during that time, ignoring the pain she might’ve felt whenever Sanji visited. Always holding back coughs so as not to worry her little boy in front of her.
But now, Zoro knew it all. Sanji didn’t have to explain in detail with his own words all that his shitty blood relatives had done to him; the entire crew found out thanks to his asshole of a father announcing it to the whole world. Zoro never pushed him to explain all those times Sanji would be in the galley alone in the middle of the night after a particularly bad nightmare, only listened to whatever Sanji was willing to tell him. And now, with everything being laid bare for Zoro to see, the dam burst and all that came out was the nonsense he was spouting now.
“Cook.” Zoro finally spoke, his other hand moving to grip Sanji’s in that tight but tender way he always would, “What’re you trying to say?”
What was he trying to say?
Sanji didn’t know, he started rambling without thinking it through. And he knew Zoro didn’t ask that as a way of criticising him, or to rush him to get to the point - whatever that point even was. He simply wanted Sanji to think on the question and come up with an answer for himself before he went down that rabbit hole he always fell in with the topic of the Vinsmokes.
Sanji squeezed Zoro’s hand, needing something to ground himself with, “Sorry for rambling.”
Zoro sighed, “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Sanji nodded when words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He stayed silent for a while, thinking through the whole situation he had thrown himself into. He tried moving even closer to Zoro, a futile attempt to crawl right into the other man’s skin. Zoro let him, tightening his hold around Sanji and waiting patiently.
“You feel like home.” He settled on finally when - to no one’s surprise - the escape attempt didn’t work, “A real home. One I can go back to knowing it’ll be waiting for me with open arms, one that makes me feel warm and loved, one that I’ve been waiting my whole life for.” Sanji didn’t have to see Zoro’s face to know he was smiling, feeling a smile of his own form on his face at his next sentence, “And it just had to come in the form of an idiot brute with moss on his head who thinks muscle and alcohol will solve everything.”
“Oi-!” Zoro started, only to be silenced by a pair of familiar, soft lips on his own slightly chapped ones - he was never one for skincare unless Sanji forced it onto him.
“But,” Sanji started as he pulled away, face only inches away from the other man’s and foreheads touching, “I wouldn’t want it to come in any other form.”
“Cheesy.” Zoro said, but even in the dim lighting and the way that he spoke, his grin was evident.
Sanji smiles back, “What else do you expect from your resident flirting expert, darling?” He knew that the use of the pet name would always make the swordsman’s cheeks flare up, and this time was no different.
Zoro huffed a breath, the hand still in Sanji’s hair pushing his head forward lightly as he whispered, “Shut up.”
Sanji grinned wide and bright at that, the smile Zoro would always get out of him no matter the circumstances, “Make me.”
And that’s exactly what Zoro did.
Just like it always would, any tears that threatened to roll down his cheeks at the mere mention of the Vinsmokes vanished with one simple gesture from his idiot.
His idiot.
God, Sanji was real deep in this shit called love. And he was sure Zoro was the same if the way he kissed him and held him the rest of the night - and the way he did that every night - was anything to go by.