Chapter Text
If you're here, you're probably one of the many unfortunate fans of FTS who discovered the angst-rich fake sequel hidden away in the Author's Notes.
And I can hear a rather loud and sad sound in the background... the sound of the collective breaking of everyone's hearts even through the sheer mention of the dreaded chapter.
Today, I don my lab coat, and I'm working hard through sleepless nights, mixing the right amounts of sugar and spice and everything nice to create the perfect medicine.
The medicine to fix that damage, to heal your heart whole.
I am, however, obligated to inform you that I'm much better at angst, but I'll try!
Warning. This Medicine contains allergen/trigger substances, such as:
Slight mention of mature content
Cheating
Mention of alcohol
Mention of a cliff
Swear warning
Divorce
A lot of Angst
An ungodly amount of rain
(Quick a/n: For the paragraph describing Katsuki's reaction to what Izuku says [Katsuki's eyes widened... Katsuki's world good], inspiration credit to The Crown, book 5 of the Selection Series by Kiera Cass. I wrote the paragraph myself, but the idea of writing in that style was inspired from the book. Check it out!)
Enjoy!
Six months into the future.
3rd Person POV.
The greenette lay in bed, covers pulled up to his ears, arms crossed behind his head as he glared up at the ceiling like he had a vendetta against it. In reality, though he stared at the plain white cement and the softly humming fan, he wasn't paying attention to them. He was simply lost in thought, and in guilt that built up slowly in his gut. A single ray of moonlight burst through the crack in the curtains and illuminated the dark room, giving it a tranquil feel, but his emotions were anything but tranquil. It had been half a year since their marriage, him and Jae, and it had gone... exactly how he'd wanted.
The most scrumptious five-tier cake with mint icing sat atop a table that had its legs sinking into the fine beach sand but was still surprisingly stable, and the couple had joked about the precarious-looking setup. Izuku, however, wasn't looking at the mahogany table as they spoke. He was staring at a small shop in the distance, with a run-down neon sign that spelled out 'Ice Cream'. A few of the letters had blown a fuse over time, and tiny sparks flew from the exposed neon LED lights now and then. His eyes glazed over with nostalgia as he wished that he could break in once more, and find a certain ex-athlete leaning over the counter posing as his impromptu counter attendant, and see that beautiful smirk just one more time.
They'd cracked jokes and bottles of champagne after the fairytale-like beach wedding was over, and everyone laughed and had a great time. The afterparty was packed with people, close relatives and close friends as well as people who Izuku had never seen before who were somehow - supposedly - related to him. Everyone laughed and reminisced over embarrassing tales of the two grooms, bent on publicly humiliating them. Jae cringed inwardly as he laughed sheepishly at the recounting of his childhood stories. Izuku, however, found himself scanning the crowd, trying to spot a very specific head of spiky blond hair. He didn't.
And needless to say, they'd been intimate that night, just as all newly-married couples do. Jae was clearly into it, feeling it, and it definitely satisfied Izuku after a long time of pent-up frustration, sexual or otherwise. It was easier, simpler to feel physically exhausted than it was to feel mentally exhausted, and Jae kissed Izuku on the forehead before spooning him and falling asleep a short while later. Izuku, however, could only think of the night he'd spent with Katsuki at the hotel, and the night at the lighthouse, and the night in the flower field, and all the nights before - the nights he'd missed, and wished to have back.
And even once they'd truly and fully established that they were a married couple and began to live their lives together, they'd watch the sunset together from the porch of their house, and laugh together, and share their days' experiences. Not that there was anything wrong with that, it was actually quite enjoyable and sweet, and Izuku was... happy. Except when Jae would stare out at the reddening, ripening sun that sat gently on the horizon, and the warm colors of the sky would reflect; paint themselves in the dark canvas of Jae's irises, turning them to a shifting shade of cherry. And Izuku would feel a pang in his heart and wistfully dream of those everlasting ruby irises that he used to stare into, that he would stare into all day if given the chance. Those perfect crimson eyes that he would never see again.
His insides churned as waves of emotions washed over him like the waves of seawater at the Ise Beach, the waves he'd spent beautiful sunsets swimming in with Katsuki. He shook his head vigorously to get the thought. He was married to someone else for God's sake, and it had been years and years after he'd broken up with the former. He'd dwelt on Katsuki for too long, and he should be over him by now. He turned to his side and watched the peacefully sleeping man beside him, Jae. He slept soundly, his expression free from stress and worry, and Izuku was glad that he didn't have to feel bad as well. Izuku frowned once more as his mind shifted to his blond love, and he looked away, uncomfortable. This wasn't right at all, and Jae was an amazing person. He didn't deserve any of this, and though he knew, he was just too nice about it. Izuku knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of the idea of the one you love loving someone else, and it hurt like a dagger. Jae didn't deserve this half-assed version of Izuku, he deserved much, much better. But Izuku knew that a part of his heart would always belong to Katsuki, and though he wished it would, that would never change.
He felt a pain throbbing in his chest, and he curled up into a ball as he vanished beneath the thick quilt. His posture displayed just how small and helpless he felt in the moment, his relatively petite form sinking into the duvet as two voices, two halves of him battled it out inside him. He was torn. He really did love Jae, of course he did. He wouldn't marry him if he didn't. Jae was an amazing person, and the ideal husband to him. And like he'd thought earlier, everything was going exactly as he'd wanted. They were both well-known, well-paid doctors. He was a neurosurgeon and neurotech developer, and Izuku worked in sports medicine. Jae was incredibly caring and understanding, sweet, kind, whatnot. They lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood at Waseda, and it was just what Izuku had foreseen as his future.
However, he didn't want something calm, and simple, and definitely not... foreseeable. He needed something bold and unpredictable, something unusual. He needed something new, something refreshing. Something Katsuki.
The couple had moved to their new apartment just three months ago. Until then, they lived in a little house in Ise. And every evening, Izuku would step out for a solitary walk down the familiar, nostalgic streets, in the hopes of seeing Katsuki one more time... though somehow, after the wedding, he never spotted the blond even once. But as he walked down the dirt paths and sand-dusted roads, memories would come flooding back into his brain and he would have to swat them away like flies. He would then head to the local supermarket to buy a snack or a beverage to distract himself, because it usually worked in the past. Just something small that he could savor, and focus on instead of Katsuki. But that didn't work either, because as he searched the beverage refrigerator for a sugary drink to go with his barbecue-flavored crisps, his emerald doe eyes fell upon a very familiar-looking bottle. A cherry Gatorade. He decided it was time for Jae and him to move to the city once again. His reasoning was that their jobs were there, and it was time they got back to work. But in truth, it was just too painful to stay in Ise any longer. Jae could read Izuku like an open book, and he understood. So they left, and now they were back in Waseda.
Sometimes, Izuku would take the car and simply go out for a drive around the city, to clear his head a little. He liked to turn up the radio, and hum or sing along to songs that he knew and enjoyed. But when he pressed the button and dialed to the nearest radio station, dread filled him as an 80's song began to play - one he knew all too well. Fragile by Sting. He turned the radio off, slamming his hand against the off button in a single frantic motion, but the lyrics continued to haunt him, whispering to his soul as he continued to drive down the metropolitan road.
He just couldn't help but mentally compare everything to the fiery-eyed blond. Everything that took place in his life seemed to lead back to Katsuki, like a cycle he could never get out of. And every time he closed his eyes, he just couldn't get rid of the flashing image of Katsuki that seemed to be forever etched in his mind, and in his heart.
Unbeknownst to him, a few stray tears had escaped the corners of his eyes as he reminisced, turning his pillowcase wet. He climbed slowly out of bed and tiptoed towards the French window that was letting in the moonlight. Slinking behind the curtains, he softly pushed down the handle and walked out onto the balcony, sitting on the frigid, tiled floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. He let it out, he let out the tears that he'd been keeping in, and he broke down as he sat there in the cold, lonely balcony. Beams of moonlight surrounded him, creating a circle of light that he sat in the center of. He couldn't care less. He just cried and cried until the front of his pajama shirt was tearstained, and his body heaved gently as his breath hitched. The only word that seemed to be stuck on repeat in his mind was 'Katsuki'. Katsuki, Katsuki, Katsuki. He looked up at the moon, the cruel moon that was spotlighting him, and wordlessly, he pleaded. He begged. His eyes said it all, filled with desperation and broken from the load of pure emotions that he carried. He just wanted the turmoil in his heart to go away, he just wanted to let go. Was that too much to ask?
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Izuku woke up in bed, of course he did. He may have broken down, but he was smart enough not to sleep on the half-frozen floor in the middle of winter and catch a cold. He lazily pushed the covers aside and walked to the bathroom, coming to a standstill before the tall mirror. He rested his hands on the sink and leaned forward, staring at his reflection and gauging it. He definitely looked how he felt, and it was no surprise because once he was done crying and had checked the time, it was three in the morning. He had eyebags, visible wrinkles drawn across the tops of his cheeks, and dark circles that were so prevalent that they almost looked like they had been painted on. His eyes were red, the capillaries clearly visible against the whites. He sighed, turning on the tap to splash some cold water on his face. He was used to it by now... this may have been the first night that he broke down so badly, like glass shattering, but it definitely wasn't his first one plagued by insomnia. He'd struggled to sleep peacefully ever since he'd broken up with Katsuki - the bed just seemed so cold, so empty without him. He had medicine for the sleeplessness, but he'd forgotten to take it last night before dinner.
He completed his morning ablutions as slowly as possible because the last thing he wanted to do was deal with life and deal with all the instances that he would think of Katsuki today. It had gotten to the point where he'd even stopped counting, after he'd hit three hundred and thirty two a few weeks before. He tried to stretch it out as much as he could, brushing his teeth at a snail's speed, when he ultimately sighed and decided to get the day done and over with. He grinned widely in the mirror, making sure to narrow the corners of his eyes as he did to make the smile look as genuine as possible. He poked at his face, trying to perfect the shape of it, and once he was satisfied, he took a deep breath in and out and put on a slightly less amplified version of the smile on his face before walking out of the bathroom door.
He sat down at the outdoor breakfast table to a delicious-looking plateful of fluffy Japanese-style pancakes, topped with fragrant maple syrup, peaks of whipped cream, powdered sugar, fresh seasonal berries and a small cube of unsalted butter. Just the way he liked it. Only problem was, as of late, he didn't feel as hungry as he used to, and he didn't feel as full as he used to once he did eat. He picked up his fork and poked at the topmost pancake, watching it deflate slowly and grinning a little. Jae sat in the chair opposite to him, and placed his folded arms on the glass table, staring at Izuku. Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Izuku looked up to see Jae's charcoal irises filled with concern as they looked at him. He (Jae) sighed, and leaned forward.
"Izuku, are... are you okay?"
His forest eyes widened at the question, not expecting this. He thought he'd done quite an excellent job of hiding his agitated state, as he didn't want Jae to worry about someone like him. He could barely get over another man, and he didn't deserve so much love. He tried to cover it up with his radiant, practiced smile. "Of course I am, why do you ask?" Jae furrowed his eyebrows a little deeper as he cocked his head to the side by a few millimeters. "Please tell me the truth, I heard you sobbing last night and I want to help you. I want to be there for you. If you don't want to tell me why, that's alright, but I just want to make sure that you're fine, and that you're happy."
His eyes widened further at the realization that Jae really knew that Izuku was in fact, not okay - that he was far from being okay. Izuku shook his head, curls bouncing as he did. "Wh-what? I d-don't know what you're talking about!" Even as he flashed a bright smile, tears brimmed in his doe eyes, threatening to spill over once more. Izuku was caught, like a deer in headlights. He was overwhelmed, and didn't know what to do. So he swallowed the titbit of pancake that was in his mouth with a resounding gulp, and pushed the plate out of the way before leaning flat against the glass table with his cheek pressed against its smooth surface. And again, he cried, but this time, Jae sat opposite him, arms extended across the circular table to wrap themselves around Izuku's torso as he wept. Jae rubbed small circles into Izuku's back, knowing it comforted him, and after a little while, Izuku's sobs had turned into little sniffles.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jae asked, to which Izuku nodded hesitantly, and then shook his head, and then nodded once more reluctantly. Jae knew him incredibly well, well enough to make out what Izuku meant. He wanted to talk about it, but not right away, and Jae respected that. He held Izuku close as the latter's tears stained Jae's shirt, but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was for Izuku to be okay again, to be happy, no matter what it took. And he had a sinking feeling what was causing it, but he knew what he would do about it. First, however, he needed to take care of Izuku.
"Come on, let's get you comfy."
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The microwave hummed in the background as Jae chopped up come chocolate compote, keeping a constant eye on the milk in the microwave so it wouldn't overflow. He was making Izuku a mug of hot chocolate so he'd feel a bit better, and it always helped. He was lost in thought as he mechanically sliced at the cube of chocolate on the chopping board. It really hurt to see Izuku so sad, so broken. He'd known for a while that something was wrong, but he didn't want to make Izuku uncomfortable by pelting him with endless questions. It was only when he saw the sheer effect that it had on his health and well-being, that he'd decided that he just had to ask.
He absent-mindedly took the mug of hot milk out of the microwave and placed it on the table, adding the chocolate shards and a little unsweetened cocoa powder and then stirring the mixture. As he watched swirls of brown form on the surface of the frothy white liquid, he frowned a little. He really wanted Izuku to be okay, he wanted nothing more than that. He picked up the mug, threw in a few marshmallows and left the kitchen. He could come back and clean up afterwards - Izuku was his first priority. On his way upstairs, he stopped by a cupboard set into the wall that was filled with bedspreads, blankets and cushions. He pulled out a thick, soft fleece blanket, bundled it up in his free hand and continued to walk up the stairs to the master bedroom.
He pushed the already ajar door with his elbow since both his hands were already full, and he poked his head in through the gap. "Can I come in?" Izuku, who was sitting on the bed, propped up against the headboard, nodded softly, and Jae smiled. He walked in and shut the door, sitting beside Izuku on the bed and carefully placing the mug of hot chocolate on the bedside table so it wouldn't spill. He unfolded the fleece blanket he carried, placing it gently on the greenette's quivering body, who gave him a small smile in response. He handed him the mug of hot chocolate, and Izuku grasped it tightly, thankful for the calming warmth that radiated from its ceramic surface. He took a small sip, the delicious taste of rich chocolate and gooey, melted marshmallows cheering him up a little. He swallowed, and he could feel the warm beverage travel down his throat. It felt good.
Izuku felt a strong arm snake its way around his waist. He looked up, his emerald eyes meeting Jae's concern-filled ones. "What's wrong Izuku?" Izuku buried his face in Jae's chest and shook his head from side to side. He really wanted to talk to someone, he needed some sort of emotional support but he was overcome with guilt. What type of horrible husband was he? What type of husband would he be to tell his partner that he loved someone else more than he loved him? What type of husband ripped out his partner's heart like this and stepped all over it? Jae sensed this, and rubbed comforting circles into Izuku's back. "You know you can tell me anything. Take your time... and if you don't want to tell me, that's fine as well," he cooed, calming Izuku's frantic emotions a little. The smaller boy sniffled, and looked up at Jae with pleading eyes. Jae waited patiently, giving the former a reassuring smile. Izuku's eyes narrowed as tears filled them once more, threatening to spill over. He returned to his earlier position with his head down, and his words were muffled by Jae's sweater. "No. It's really bad of me."
Jae held Izuku tight, knowing he desperately needed the support. "I'm never going to judge you. You can count on me, Izu." Silence filled the room as the the freckled boy struggled for words, and Jae continued to reassure him. "I've told you not to keep your emotions inside, it's not good for you... talk to someone, even if that isn't me. But please, don't bottle up your emotions..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say to the boy in his arms while giving him the space he needed. "Just... is it me? Because if it is, I want to know so I can change. Otherwise, it's up to you if you want to tell me." Izuku shook his head. "Not...you." Jae nodded understandingly, and held Izuku like he was a delicate piece of china - which at the moment, he almost was - as he hummed a little tune to himself. Izuku opened his mouth, wanting to speak, but closed it once more - he really wanted to tell Jae, because he deserved to know, but he just had no idea how to bring it up. Finally, the green-eyed boy mustered up the courage to spit out just one word. "Katsuki..."
Jae's heart sank a little, but he had anticipated this. Even before they were married, Jae knew that Izuku was going through an extremely tough time while getting over Katsuki, and that he wasn't fully there yet. He respected that, and he didn't want to pressure him into anything, but it had actually been Izuku's idea to get married when they did. Still, Jae knew that he was struggling, and he promised himself that he would support Izuku no matter what. Even if it did hurt him a little, he wanted to see Izuku smile again, and live happily. Not like this. If he had to choose between having Izuku to himself or seeing Izuku happy, he'd choose Izuku's happiness without hesitation, and that was exactly what he was going to do. He gently patted Izuku's head, comforting him. "That's okay. I understand what you're trying to say..." He paused for a second, trying to make himself feel a little less sad. "You really love him, don't you?" He waited for confirmation, and Izuku slowly and sadly nodded. Jae opened his mouth to speak, to say something comforting to his husband, but he was involuntarily choked by tears.
He knew about the elephant in the room - the fact that no matter how hard he tried, Izuku was unable to move on. And Jae knew that he really did try. For years and years now, nearly a decade, Izuku had spent the majority of his nights crying himself to sleep, coming to Jae for comfort - so he really knew that the greenette was having an extremely hard time. He also knew that even though they were married, a part of Izuku still loved Katsuki to the death. Jae was rather unusually quiet for the rest of the evening, and Izuku gave him the space he needed to digest this. Though he already knew that this was coming, Izuku's confirmation just made it so much more... real. He was deep in thought that day, completely torn. On one hand, he really, really loved Izuku, and he dreamed of living a happy life with Izuku by his side, and growing old with him, sharing memories with him... but deep down, he knew that those memories were nothing compared to the inseparable bond shared by Izuku and Katsuki. On the other hand, he knew that their marriage - though Izuku had agreed to it - was really, really not working for the greenette. His heart belonged elsewhere, and Jae knew that this moment was coming, but it still felt like a dagger through his heart. Since they were married, he knew that something was off about Izuku and he'd decided to give him his space - not wanting to pressure the greenette, but now... now he could see the toll it had taken on him. HIs once sparkling viridian eyes were now dull and lightless as he simply lived the days just to tick them off the calendar. He never felt really hungry, or thirsty, or sleepy, or healthy at all - though he would never admit it out loud, and always said that he was 'perfectly fine'.
The next week passed similarly, with Jae silently contemplating what to do about the situation and Izuku guiltily giving him some space, blaming himself the whole time. The week dragged slowly by with both men in their own worlds - then two weeks, then three. And at dusk on the last day of the fourth week, as Jae stood in the balcony with his arms on the railing, watching the sunset as he always did but with conflicting feelings colliding inside of him, he came to a painful but necessary decision. Sure, he loved Izuku and wanted to be with him - but his love for Izuku overpowered his wish to have Izuku to himself. He could see that Izuku was being majorly affected - negatively - by their marriage, and as much as it hurt him, it hurt more to see the greenette in such a state. If he had to choose between either Izuku staying with him, by his side or seeing Izuku truly happy and living his life the way he wanted, he'd choose the latter, no matter what it meant for him. And that's what he was going to do.
He walked back into the house as the sky darkened, sprinkled with distant twinkling stars amidst the vast nocturnal backdrop of the uncharacteristically cloudless heavens, and sprightly fireflies bobbed up and down in the air. He found Izuku sitting on the sofa, curled up in a corner as he watched the television, vivid images flashing across the wide, QLED screen. Jae sat down on the sofa as well, alerting Izuku as the sofa dipped with the added weight. Izuku turned the TV off and turned to face Jae, still averting his eyes. "Hey," Jae began, attempting to break the recent unspoked tension between them. Izuku nodded softly. "Hey..." he replied, and scooted over, moving closer to Jae. "Jae... I'm so sorry about-" "Hush. That's alright, Izuku." He took a deep breath in before speaking again. "About Katsuki, um..." Izuku stared down at the floor at the mention of the blond, salty teardrops hitting the floor and splattering there. Jae realized, and lifted Izuku's head up, wiping his tears with side of his thumb, gently brushing against Izuku's pale skin as he did. "Katsuki's really lucky, I must say. He's got someone as amazing as you loving him. And... I can tell, he's not over you either." Izuku looked up, a small glint of guilty hope lighting up his precious emerald eyes. Jae could see what Izuku truly wanted, truly needed. And as much as he would have liked for it to be him, he would never want to force something on Izuku that he didn't want, or something that didn't make him happy. It was time to let Izuku go.
"Izuku, listen- I..." He started, and he trailed off with a sigh. He took a deep breath, and continued. "He's a great person as well. Sure, he's made mistakes, but he... you belong with him. He makes you happy." Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, taking the defensive. "S-so do you! I-I- He-" Jae brought his index finger to Izuku's soft lips, shushing him and smiling gently at the worried-looking boy. "Don't feel guilty, Izu. I don't blame you. You should... you should go for it. You belong together. Anyone could see that, and I'd be really selfish to stop you..." Izuku was silent, at a loss for words. He wanted to reassure Jae that he really was happy with him, and he was, really - but he knew, he just knew that he loved Katsuki just that little bit more. He was truly torn. Jae continued, almost reading his mind. "I know you love me, and I love you too. But our marriage is like- like-" He stuttered as he searched for an analogy, then lit up. "It's like a chain, or some sort of restraint that keeps you tied to the ground. Meant with the right intentions, but ending with... not the best outcome. A restraint that would prevent you from spreading out your wings. I want to see you live, and I want to see you fly. So, what I'm saying is..." He took a shaky breath in. "I think it's time that you fly."
After many late-night conversations and serious talks about the topic, they'd made their decision to let each other go. Now, it had been a few days since the ex-couple had officially divorced. Neither of them harbored any hard feelings towards the other, but they had both decided that it was for the best. Izuku stood before the escalator, eyes fixed on a lone figure staring through the window back at him, watching from the vast crowd that surrounded the Departure entry gate. He wore a thick brown coat, polished charcoal shoes and a wistful smile. Izuku smiled at Jae, and so much was said through that one single smile. Jae smiled back and nodded softly, and the two men held each others' gaze for just a single moment longer, before Izuku gripped the handles of his two suitcases and stood on the first step of the escalator, slowly disappearing upwards and out of view. He felt a pang in his heart as he glimpsed Jae for the last time, guilty longing building up in his chest, and he almost heavier because of the weight of it. He shook aside the feeling, remembering Jae's words to him. He wasn't going to give up now.
And before he knew it, he was boarding the plane, and after a rather confusing ten minutes of searching for his seat, he sat down slowly and fastened his seatbelt, gazing out of the window. The hostesses demonstrated the safety measures, and the captain made the takeoff announcement in the usual monotone, distorted voice. The plane hummed to life, and Izuku popped a piece of gum into his mouth and chewed frantically so his ears wouldn't block up and cause him a headache later. And as the aircraft pushed slowly forward and his inertia threw him back into the seat, Izuku stared at his ticket, reading it over and over like it was his psychology paper. 'Waseda to Ise, Business Class,' it read. But it was so much more than that. It was a ticket back to the small town where he'd grown up and cherished so many beautiful memories. It was a ticket back to the all people he'd known all his life. It was a ticket back to his mom, back to some of his friends, and back to him... to Katsuki. It was a ticket back home.
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The moment that the taxi had dropped him off at his childhood house, he grabbed all his bags and suitcases at once and dumped them all on the doorstep, under the porch and right before the front door. He paid the taxi driver and thanked him, and he ran. He just ran. His mom knew that he was coming back, but that's all she'd known because that's all he'd told her. She would probably take the pile of bags into the house, but the thought didn't even cross his mind. All he knew was just one word, playing like a stuck record. Kacchan. Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan. And he ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, all the way to Katsuki's house. It was only a block or two away, but it felt like a marathon, quick seconds stretching into endless moments of anticipation and longing. Adding to the dramatic feel, the thickening, inky clouds gave way, sheeting down sudden and violent precipitation in torrents; like a heavenly dam had burst all at once. It was one of those rare days of rain, here in Ise. Years ago, he'd have hated such sad, gloomy weather; but that had all changed after Katsuki. He looked forward to the rain, and the difference in monotony that it brought with it. The raindrops pelted hard against the black tar road, the perfect, crystalline droplets shattering like glass on impact into a million little molecules. Izuku's perfectly polished shoes were now slushy and wet, squelching with every frantic step they took as they resounded against the coarse surface of the street. But Izuku didn't care - he just wanted to see his Kacchan again.
He stumbled to a halt before Katsuki's house, panting a little. He paused for a brief second, staring out at the little patch of what used to be grass, that sat surrounded by a large fence on three sides, beside the house. He noticed, at the far end, two tall pillars set in a cement base. Katsuki seemed to have removed the bar over the top. And beside it, lay the removed metal bar and a long pole, half-covered in wet mud and overgrown with grass and creepers, forgotten and simply collecting dust now. Next to the vintage pole vault setup, in a pile, lay gardening tools and supplies - a hoe, a shovel, a few bags of compost. They had been recently used, evident from the coat of wet dirt and chopped-up roots, but the rain washed the earth off the tools chunk by chunk. The rest of the area was a sprucely manicured lawn, with a three neatly-bordered flower beds along the sides. In the bed that was the furthest from the entryway, lay the promised lilies that Katsuki had spoked of so long ago. Beautiful, bright red, just like his eyes. Just like him, defiantly standing tall. Red lilies. In the middle bed, lay small; pretty wildflowers. Izuku's mouth was slightly agape as he took in the color of the flowers, the tiny flowers that danced in the petrichor-rich breeze. They were yellow. And they weren't just any yellow - they were the the same shade of cheerful canary as the endless field of flowers that Katsuki had taken Izuku to, back when they lay on comforters and watched the stars among the daffodils. Daffodils. And finally, the last bed. Its contents brought tears to Izuku's eyes. Stiff peaks of shrubbery rose from the ground, swaying gently. Small white flowers, shaped like little stars, whispered apologies to him through the wind. He could almost hear them. Their anthers fluttered, waving to Izuku. Asphodels. They symbolized regret.
He peeled his eyes from the yard, jogging up the stairs as the porch shade shielded him from the relentless rain. He raised a hand to the doorbell, about to press it, when he realised that it was damaged. So he opted to knock instead, freckled knuckles resounding as they tapped against the varnished mahogany door. He heard no response, and even after a long wait, no one arrived to let Izuku in. He frowned, concern and worry twisting at his insides. It had been ages since he'd seen the blond at all, even while he stayed in Ise with Jae. After the wedding, Katsuki had been avoiding almost all human interaction, isolating himself from the world. Izuku could only think about the assortment of horrible situations Katsuki could have gotten himself into, fearing the absolute worst. He ran to the garage, checking to see if the car was still there, and he was greeted with an empty parking space. He sighed. He turned to leave, taking a step out of the garage and onto the slush-covered driveway and walking parallel to the thick tire tracks freshly embedded into the ground. Wait a second - tire tracks. That was exactly what he needed now.
He kept his eyes trained on the ground, following the path that the tracks ran along. They led out onto the main road, disappearing into the distance. Izuku chased after the tire tracks as they slowly dissolved in the merciless rain, chased after his love. His Katsuki. He panted as he ran down the seemingly endless road, and for the first time in a long while, he felt a surge of energy run through his veins. His steps were lighter, he was lighter. The rain felt cold - not gloomy, but refreshing. And for the first time in a long while, he actually felt it. He felt the pitter-patter of the icy droplets against his warm skin, he felt the uplifting breeze almost carry him forward, whispering to him - 'You can do this. You've got this.' He felt the life in everything around him, in himself. The he skies seemed just a little brighter, and the plants on either side of the road seemed to stand just a little taller. The gaudy paint peeling off the old, worn houses seemed vibrant and colorful. He could do this, he really could. For the first time in a long while, Izuku felt hope.
The road faded into an unsuspecting dirt path, one he'd followed many times after his wedding. Here, he'd picked up innumerable little stones, ranging from smooth translucent marble to jagged, porphyritic andesite, throwing them as far into the distance as he could, wishing for just one thing - for him to move on. But that was in the past, and now he was here for just the opposite. The familiar track was sprinkled with rocks and pebbles that made its surface incredibly uneven. It was at this point that Katsuki had abandoned his car, although he could probably still use it but instead choose to make the rest of the journey on foot, evident from the large footsteps that led on. As Izuku jogged down the road, shoes splattering slushy, dirty water everywhere, he couldn't help but compare the duo's foot sizes, and smile at the ridiculous difference in them. Next to Katsuki's, his footsteps looked like they belonged to a Lilliput. As he continued onwards, soft music played in the distance, growing just a little louder with every step he took. He slowed his pace down as the incline grew gradually steeper as it climbed up the sheer rock, and Izuku couldn't pinpoint exactly when it was but at some point, he'd started using tall sprigs of bamboo as support to ensure he wouldn't slip in the rain and fall all the way back down. Eventually, the steep upward curve flattened out once more, and as Izuku neared the top, a lone figure came into view, sitting and watching the view. His normally unruly blond hair was drenched by the rain, half-flat, and his normally confident, upright posture was now a defeated slouch. His trusty stereo speaker sat beside him, playing 'Can't Help Falling In Love' by Elvis Presley. He sat on the edge, his strong arms gripping at the ground beside him for support as he swung his legs to the rhythm, softly singing to himself.
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help
Falling in love with you
It was him, it really was. The love of his life, the man who had been just out of his reach for so long, was right here, three feet away from him. He was here right before him, in front of his very eyes. This incarnation of perfection, this God of a man, everything he's ever loved, right before him. Right here. Him. Izuku couldn't stop himself from harmonizing along with the next few lines. It was straight from his heart, and his soul poured out into it.
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
'Cause I can't help
Falling in love with you
Katsuki sat bolt upright at the sound of a familiar voice from behind him. A melodious, lilting mezzo-soprano, singing softly to the classic tune, a voice he knew all too well. He tried to kill that hopeful spirit rising in him, still too shocked to turn around and face the person who may be standing there and all the emotions and memories attached. He wanted to believe it, he really did, but there was just no way. His love, his one and only, had fallen in love with another man. Another man that was not him. It must be his imagination again that's come to plague him - to haunt him - with thoughts of his lost lover, come here on this hopeless rainy day.
He turned around, expecting disappointment.
And yet, here he was - Izuku himself. Standing just a few feet away as rain and tears streamed down his freckled cheeks. His feather-soft, grass-colored hair stuck to his forehead in the downpour, displaying the slightly more elusive black streaks that were usually hidden away. Mud painted his shoes and clothes like he was a canvas, and he was a panting mess as the adrenaline was wearing off, but fuck, he was beautiful. He let out a soft, happy chuckle, a loving smile plastered on his child-like face. Those creepy viridian eyes - those perfect fucking eyes - were iridescent, shining softly with the distant, distorted evening light, shining with beautiful hope. Just like what he felt himself, like he was floating. He just couldn't believe his eyes, and all he could do was stare at the boy and hope he wasn't an apparition or something like that. He blinked rapidly a few times, not believing it yet. No way, no fucking way. The melody of the famous song still played in the background, but no, Katsuki's practically tuned it out, focusing only on the angel before him, this angel standing right here on this hopeful rainy day.
"Kacchan." He whispered the blonde's nickname, speaking in a breathy, light voice. There it was. There it was. That precious name, that special title. Kacchan. He was Kacchan again. He never wanted to be anything other than Kacchan. Just Kacchan. Izuku's Kacchan. Even if Izuku was here just to tell him that he never wanted to see him again, it was worth it just to hear that one word leave his lips one last time. He never even knew it was possible to be so absolutely in love with someone, yet here he was - falling all over again. "I... zu... ku?" He mumbled out in broken syllables, still unable to believe what he was seeing. The greenette nodded gently.
"I'm back, Kacchan," he confirmed, soft as the whispering wind, but those two words - two simple words - made their way straight to Katsuki's healing heart. He could feel tears prick at his eyes, threatening to spill over, but he just didn't care. It was him. It was really him. A sudden thought interrupted his elated state of mind, weighing him down once more and making his heart sink once more. "What about Jae..." Izuku smiled understandingly at the blonde, who averted his eyes, unable to take it what he dreaded Izuku may say. "We... divorced," the greenette answered. Instantly, Katsuki's hands balled up into livid fists at his sides, practically crushing his own fingers. He stiffened like a board, almost shaking. He was burning with rage. "If that bastard hurt you..."
Izuku frantically waved his arms about, discouraging Katsuki's assumption and all his violent thoughts as a result. He would prefer that Jae wouldn't be found dead the next morning. "No, no, no! It was because of me!" Katsuki froze for a moment before relaxing again, then turned around with a bemused expression and awaiting a much-needed explanation. Izuku took a shuddering breath in, and let a shaky breath out. "Kacchan, I... He..." He inhaled again, trying to find the right words, and Katsuki waits, uncharacteristically patient. "It just... didn't work out, and after a few months, we... spoke about it, and decided that it was for the better. He was incredibly understanding about it, thankfully, and, uhm... here I am now..." He trailed off nervously, and Katsuki frowned and cocked his head. "Didn't work out?" He sat straight again, anger building once more. "What did that fucktard do to you, hm?" Izuku groaned a little. "Oh god, Kacchan... he didn't do anything. It's because of me." Katsuki squinted hard, narrowing his eyes to little slits. "Haah? Nani?" Izuku sucks another breath in, and Katsuki thought to himself what it would be like if a bug was to fly in right now. The corner of his mouth curved upwards just a little, as he tried to suppress a sadistic smile. He shook his head a little, returning his focus to what Izuku was going to say. "I... I'm still in love with you."
Katsuki's eyes widened and he felt his heart flutter - no, leap - out of his chest, drawn like a magnet to Izuku's sincere confession. All that long-lost hope, all those old feelings, those memories... they all resurfaced again, and the blond felt like he was floating. This was really all he'd ever wanted, nothing more. Sure, he loved pole vault - it was his dream, after all - but Izuku? Izuku was a different story altogether. When Izuku arrived, it was like... like footsteps had a texture he could feel in his fingertips. When he spoke, the sunshine sang a song. And when he was simply just there, he could hear the clouds speak to him, he could see warmth in the atmosphere, he could taste the scent of happiness in the air. He, cynical he, could believe in myths and in fairytales without reason or rhyme, and he could probably even stop time. Izuku awakened the whole world with just a simple smile. He gave Katsuki the hope - the life - to dream. Izuku wasn't his everything... but without doubt, he was everything that made Katsuki's world good.
"Are... are you... do you.. do you mean it?" Katsuki asked, trying to mask the hope in his voice just in case it was all just a cruel joke. Izuku shed another tear or two, and nodded slowly and carefully. "Yeah..." he muttered, now doubting what Jae had said to him about Katsuki still not being over him. It had been years - years - since they'd fallen apart, and Katsuki was always... so distant. To add to it all, Izuku's mind raced, rewinding the clock back - back to nine years ago, nine painful years ago, when he received an incriminating video on his phone. It was from none other than Uraraka, so he knew he could trust the source. She'd happened to be at a party that, coincidentally, his boyfriend - scratch that, the famous athlete Katsuki Bakugo, who was supposed to be his boyfriend - was also attending. He remembered that night vividly, like a mortifying nightmare - only that the nightmare was completely real, and inescapable. He recalled how his hands shook like a leaf in a tempestuous storm as he tapped on her chat, foreboding and a building sense of dread in his gut. A single video had been sent to him. Since it hadn't been opened yet, the thumbnail was black, but a caption was attached to it, with a rather worrying message: 'I'm so sorry, Izuku.' Feeling sick to the stomach, he'd pressed the play button. He recalled how the atmosphere had gotten thicker and thicker with tension as the video played on, to the point where he felt like he was drowning in viscous honey, unable to breathe, when all of a sudden-
He saw it.
His boyfriend, Katsuki 'Star Athlete of Asia' Bakugo, was kissing someone else.
He couldn't see who it was, because blond hair - his boyfriend's blond hair - blocked the face of the latter. He gripped at her waist - he assumed it was a lady, because of the inscrutable person's feminine figure and the way the black club dress she wore hugged her curves - as he kissed her passionately, like he used to kiss him. Izuku felt like he was going to puke. He couldn't think straight, or think at all. He did notice that Katsuki's body swayed madly, and he didn't look the least bit sober, but that didn't change the fact that he was making out with another girl with abandon, and without a trace of remorse. That night - that fateful night - replayed in his head like an unsettling movie on loop, and he couldn't handle it. The major reason he was here in the first place, talking to Katsuki, was really just for closure. Somewhere in him, a small doubting voice spoke up every time he remembered Jae's encouraging words of support. What if he was wrong? What if Katsuki had really moved on? And now, he didn't doubt it anymore. There was no way the Katsuki Bakugo was pining over a small-town, mediocre boy like him after almost a decade. And so, he turned around, having said what he had to, and began to leave, with the only sound filling in the tense silence being the relentless rain. Katsuki hastily stood up, scrambling to his feet. He couldn't lose Izuku again. He lunged for Izuku's hand, grabbing it desperately. "Please-" his voice cracked, now nothing more than a pleading whisper. "Please don't leave me again."
Izuku was surprised at this heartfelt request, and when he turned again to face Katsuki, he was taken aback. He looked nothing like the confident, bold boy he'd grown up with. He looked so... vulnerable. His once-bright ruby eyes, sparkling with determination, were now reduced to dull and broken carmine pigments, his eyes imploring. He looked so worn and tired that no one could have guessed, without knowing, that he was actually the same Katsuki Bakugo who'd won innumerable medals for Japan in the Olympics, the same ex-athlete who'd set so many incredible records. It was almost scary, how much this had affected him. It was like Izuku was the moon, that cold, unforgiving moon, and he was Izuku, sitting in that balcony and begging for mercy. He was a changed man now, after their breakup, and seeing him like this made Izuku's heart throb with pain.
Katsuki pulled Izuku close, hugging the smaller male. Burying his face in Izuku's shoulder, he burst into tears, and Izuku was appalled at his breakdown. He'd never, never seen Katsuki in this state, falling to pieces in Izuku's arms. He wrapped his arms around Katsuki, holding him close as he inhaled his comforting caramel scent, and it hit him with a wave of nostalgia, instantly calming Izuku. Katsuki, meanwhile, gripped Izuku tightly as he continued to cry.. Izuku comfortingly rubbed Katsuki's well-built back. "Kacchan it's okay, I'm here..." Izuku could feel Katsuki's head shake, and he sobs out an explanation. "I... I fucked up big time, a-and I know I was a fucking shitty boyfriend, a-and I fucking kissed another girl and that's fucking unforgivable... a-a-and I'm a fucking disgusting, cheating motherfucker-"He was interrupted by a mild but sharp stinging pain in his upper cheek, and a pulsing pins and needles sensation that followed it. Instinctively, he lifted his head to look at Izuku, who had tears in his eyes and a raised hand. Was he just... slapped?
Izuku was choked by tears as he spoke, one hand over his mouth. "Don't you dare say that about yourself. That's fucking bullshit." Katsuki was stunned when he heard Izuku swear, which the greenette rarely ever did. Izuku pulled Katsuki into another tight hug, crying himself now. "You've made mistakes, so have I. But you're perfect, and I will always love you. Don't ever say anything like that ever again." He kissed Katsuki's nose, who looked at Izuku with adoring eyes. Katsuki was awestruck. How could someone possibly be so forgiving? He embraced the greenette once more, kissing the top of his head with the utmost love. "I'm so fucking sorry for everything I've done to you. I love you so much, Izuku. You don't have to forgive me, or any of that shit-" "No." Izuku interrupted his rant, cutting in with a firm negative affirmation. "I do forgive you, Kacchan. Everyone makes mistakes, I've made plenty myself- and that's okay. I know you didn't mean any of it, and I know that you were shit drunk - which, by the way, don't you ever do that again - and I know that our... break was hard on you as well. And... I'm sorry as well... for putting you through having to see me marry another man... and I-I just-" He was cut off by an affable laugh elicited from the blond, and his eyes widened a little. It had been so long since he's seen the latter laugh like this - so freely - and he couldn't help but join in.
The rain died down into a gentle drizzle, just as the boisterous laughter faded into soft chuckles, and both boys looked at each other as they continued to laugh softly. "We're both a mess," Katsuki commented amidst dying mirth, and Izuku couldn't help but agree. "Such a mess," He echoed in agreement. They chuckled wordlessly for a little while longer before they were silent again, looking into each others eyes endearingly. They held eye contact for a short while, each boy gazing lovingly into the other one's eyes, memorizing every little detail, every highlight and every dark stroke. Katsuki was fighting the urge to kiss the greenette, smiling down at him. "But hey, at least we're together," He concluded, to which Izuku nodded. "Always," Izuku breathed, leaning into Katsuki's touch and towards him.
And as the sable clouds parted like the opening of a curtain, revealing the breathtaking, classic Ise sunset, painting a watercolor of vivid warm hues and fading cerulean, they kissed - Bakugo Katsuki--the all-star athlete and rascal of Ise--and Izuku Midoriya, the town sweetheart - holding each other in their arms, reunited now, and never to let go again.
That concludes Chapter 15: Medicine - The continuation of FTS! Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed!
(This was so fun to write! Kudos to the original author, suffocatingspring on AO3. Go check them out!!!)
However, this has only just begun. Await Chapter 15: Version 2 - An absolute rollercoaster of emotions! Prepare yourselves, everyone!
Thank you so much, and stay tuned for more! Love from Iris! <3