Archive of Our Own

“Anchorage.”

“You can barely stand it when it gets below 60,” Steve says.

Bucky pouts and slides his thumb down the tablet. “Miami?”

“Please love yourself,” Natasha says.

Bucky levels a glare at her before continuing to scroll down the webpage. On it is a seemingly hodgepodge list of residences – houses, townhouses, duplexes, apartments, condos – all over the world that Bucky has compiled.

“I don’t think you’re as serious about moving as I am,” Steve says and dodges the hand that flies out to smack him upside the head. Steve maneuvers away and out of his seat on the couch in the communal living area of Avengers Tower to grab a drink from the kitchen.

“I’m completely serious,” Bucky assures him.

“Oh, well, in that case, we’re definitely moving to Anchorage,” Steve says.

“Y’know, it’s actually really beautiful up there,” Bruce chimes in from across the room on the other couch. Steve didn’t think he was listening, he seemed so focused on his own tablet.

“Well, I’m sold,” Steve says cheerfully as he rejoins Bucky on the couch. “So, when do we move?”

“We’re not moving to Anchorage,” Bucky says.

Steve frowns. “Why? I thought you were taking this seriously.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and shoves the tablet into Steve’s hands. “Fine! Show us your list, then!”

Natasha sidles closer to Steve’s right as he opens the bookmarks tab. Just as the first house opens up – a small place in Brooklyn – Tony waltzes in. He immediately notices the cuddling threesome on the couch and strides over.

“What’re we-?” He pauses when he sees the screen of the tablet. “You’re moving?”

“Just looking,” Steve says in what he hopes is a placating voice.

“What the hell?” Tony says and wrenches the tablet right out of Steve’s grasp.

“Hey!” Steve snaps and turns to glare at Tony, but Tony’s already walking away, scrolling down the webpage with a frown.

“No, no, oh my God, no. Just.” Tony looks up Steve incredulously. “I cannot believe…”

“Tony, we were gonna tell you,” Steve says and he does feel a little bad about not saying anything; it’s clear Tony enjoys sharing his home with everyone.

“What?” Tony asks. “Oh, no, I don’t care that you’re moving out. There’s so much PDA even the unfeeling virtual intelligence is getting sick of it.”

“Sir,” Jarvis intones.

“We don’t-,” Bucky starts, but is quickly interrupted by Tony again: “No, no, no. You guys do you. But this?” He holds up the tablet. “Not how you go house shopping. It’s like you’re asking for a murder house.”

“Murder house?” Steve repeats.

“Remember when we watched The Grudge?” Natasha asks.

“Oh. You mean ghosts and… yeah.”

“Yeah,” Tony says. “Murder house. They’re not gonna list that shit on the website. You gotta be there.”

“To… feel the ghosts?” Steve asks, eyes wide and innocent. Bucky barely stifles a laugh.

Tony gives Steve a withering look. “You don’t… Shut up, Rogers. We’re going house shopping.”

Steve grins. “I’m free all day.”

“Steve, would you believe that this is actual marble taken from the Vatican itself?” Bucky asks politely, hands clasped behind his back as he stares at the marble walls of the bathroom in the first house Tony has shown them. He made up his own list of houses, all in New York, and somehow gotten permission to show them without the assistance of an actual realtor.

“Yeah, but Buck,” Steve replies giving Bucky a hard look, “it probably hasn’t even been blessed by the pope himself. I really can’t be expected to spend 2 million on marble that hasn’t even been touched by the pope.”

“You’re right. Although that winding staircase.” Bucky points behind them toward the foyer.

Steve puts up a hand. “I know, I know. Just hideous.”

“I fucking hate you guys,” Tony mutters.

“Tony, all I’m asking is that our house not look like a church,” Steve replies.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh thank God,” Bucky says. "More marble.”

“Can never have too much, dear,” Steve replies.

“Mm,” Bucky agrees. “Can you believe, Steve, that some places don’t even have any marble?”

Steve gasps, one hand on his chest. “Preposterous!”

“Dahling,” Bucky cries out from the landing. “You must look at this chandelier.”

“Good God, are those real crystals?”

“They must be!”

“You know what?” Tony says, making his way back downstairs. “I shouldn’t have expected you guys to have taste, but at least have a little respect, okay?”

“Bucky! You won’t believe this!” Steve shouts from where he stands looking out the far window.

“What is it?”

“There’s a golf course out back!”

“Oh thank heavens!” Bucky cries out dramatically. “Who am I without my own private putting green?”

“Look, okay? This one is under 2 mil,” Tony says tapping on his tablet as they make their way to the front of the next home. At least they’re back in Brooklyn, Steve thinks.

“It's not terrible,” Bucky notes.

Steve finds him on the roof and slips an arm around his waist. Bucky smiles lightly. “Not a bad view, either,” Steve says.

Tony makes a note on his tablet. “Plenty more to see, boys!”

“Again, not terrible,” Bucky says. “I think you’re getting better, Tony.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Give me a little credit, guys. I may not be a realtor, but I know how to sell a house. And you always start off bad and get better.”

“No,” Steve agrees quietly, standing in the doorway to a small, green and pink room. “Not terrible at all.”

Bucky joins him and plants a kiss to his jaw. “You’re thinking too hard, Cap,” Bucky says.

Steve raises an eyebrow at Bucky. “Not too hard. Just thinking.”

Bucky’s smile is soft and understanding. One day, it seems to say.

“Way too many windows,” Bucky says and he’s almost twitchy about it. His eyes dart from wall to wall, ceiling to floor.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees.

“Windows are good,” Tony replies. “Natural light or whatever.”

“Plenty of good opportunities to get shot, too,” Bucky says with a grim look.

“Is that a fucking teepee?” Steve asks.

“Well, I guess we know where Sam is sleeping when he stays over,” Bucky says.

“There’s a candelabra, Buck.”

“God, I hate the future.”

“Not terrible,” Steve says.

“My God, is that the only veiled compliment my hard work is going to get? Not terrible?” Tony asks.

Steve shrugs. “It has land. That’s nice.”

“Expensive, though,” Bucky says.

“Yeah.”

Bucky shrugs and adds: “It’s not terrible.”

Tony groans loudly and walks out of the house, Steve and Bucky following behind trying not to laugh out loud.

“Here, you want someplace shitty? I’ll show you shitty. See, this is shitty.” Tony opens the door to the place and it’s…

“This is by far the best place you’ve shown us,” Steve says sincerely.

Bucky nods in agreement. “Yeah, definitely.”

“It’s small, inexpensive…”

“No marble.”

Steve nods.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Tony hisses.

“It's quaint,” Steve says.

“Yeah. I don’t hate it. But I am wondering if it comes with these amazing panda rugs?” Bucky asks.

“My God, look at the artistry in this room," Steve says. "If we have kids, doesn’t matter what they are. They’re sleeping in this room and I refuse to paint over it.”

“The details on the castle!”

“I can’t actually tell if you guys are joking now,” Tony says.

“God, Tony, this place is way too rich for us.”

“Look,” Tony says, pulling the car over and turning around to talk to Steve in the back seat. “I am trying my hardest here and I’ve made a list. A goddamn list of things you idiots want in a house and I’m telling you, this is it. This is the house you want.”

Steve sighs. “Fine. But it’s getting late. If we don’t find a house today…”

“There’s always tomorrow,” Bucky agrees.

“Fuck that,” Tony says, hopping out of the convertible. “Today or bust.”

He leads them up the road a ways until they reach their destination.

“Okay, it’s not-,” Bucky starts.

“I swear to God if you say ‘not terrible’ one more time I’m gonna clock you,” Tony says.

“I like it,” Steve says.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees.

Tony lets out a breath and leads them inside.

“It’s big, but not too big,” Tony says as he leads them around the house. “Well under your price range. Land for Steve’s dog.”

“You want a dog?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t not want a dog,” Steve admits.

“Three bedrooms for when you guys inevitably find a strange, orphan child to bring home,” Tony continues.

Bucky snorts a laugh.

“It's dated,” Tony says. “So it’s probably right up your alley as far as décor goes.”

“We’re old, Tony, not blind,” Steve replies.

Tony waves a hand in the air. “Whatever. My personal decorator will do whatever you ask of her, so that’s not even an issue. Seriously, you guys. This is it. This is the house you want. It’s far enough from the city that you don’t have to worry about paparazzi all day.”

“It’s not Brooklyn,” Bucky says.

“Good thing or bad thing?” Steve asks.

“None of the above?”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees.

“We’ll think about it,” Bucky says to Tony.

Tony shakes his head. “No thinking! Just do! Buy the house! Buy it!”

Steve laughs and pats Tony on the shoulder. “Patience, Stark. Patience.”

“Do you want kids?” Steve asks later when they’re getting ready for bed. Tony emailed out the list of houses they visited to the entire team, so Bucky is currently on the bed sifting through enthusiastic emails.

Bucky looks up at Steve standing in the doorway to the bathroom. “I don’t not want kids,” he says.

“Just like I don’t not want a dog?” Steve replies with a smirk.

Bucky smiles. “Exactly.”

Steve pushes himself off the threshold with his shoulder and climbs into bed. Bucky is paging through the offensively long email Natasha sent them, detailing every good and bad thing about every house – including a background check of all neighbors in the vicinity. Steve reads over his shoulder for a few minutes before sighing and falling back on his own pillow.

Bucky turns the tablet off and crawls under the blankets to press his cold toes against Steve’s calves. Steve turns to him so they’re nose-to-nose.

“I don’t think I really understand that it’s happening yet,” Bucky admits quietly.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Everything. This, the house, you, a dog? Kids? I mean, that’s just…” Bucky trails off.

“Impossible?” Steve finishes with a small smile.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m glad it happened anyway,” Steve says.

Bucky nods slowly, his eyes growing heavy. Steve reaches over and turns off the light. In the dark, he can hear Bucky’s soft breathing and nothing else. It’s soothing beyond words.

“It’s unanimous, by the way,” Bucky mumbles tiredly.

“Hm?”

“The last house. Everyone loves that last house.”

“I kinda loved that last house,” Steve admits. He reaches out a hand and runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “But we won’t do anything if it’s not perfect. No pressure.”

They fall back into silence and Steve is almost asleep when Bucky says, “Let’s do it.”

Steve grumbles something incoherent and feels Bucky prodding him hard on the shoulder.

“Steve?”

“What?” he groans.

“Did you hear me? Let’s do it. Let’s buy the house.”

Steve reaches out and wraps his arms around Bucky so he can pull him uncomfortably close to his chest. “In the morning,” he mumbles into Bucky’s hair.

Bucky struggles until Steve allows him to move into a more comfortable position. “Asshole,” Bucky mutters.

Steve smiles softly. “Love you too.”