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It’s late at night and most of the people are asleep in the Kamisato state, there aren’t any lights in the house, indicating that even Thoma has taken his leave for the night. The head of the Kamisato Clan’s chambers are also in pitch black darkness; Ayato has gone on a business trip and he’s yet to return to the state.
Ayaka’s is the only chamber that’s lightened up. She’s working on some paperwork regarding the upcoming festival, telling herself she’ll go to sleep when she’s done with it. Hardworking as she is, it doesn’t take much of her time. When she’s finally done, she stretches her arms above her head and heads to her room with careful steps.
Knock, knock.
She hears soft knocking on the only door that leads to the outside. It’s the back door of the state, barely anyone uses it, it’s mostly for deliveries.
Hm?
Who could it be at this hour?
Ayaka approaches the old wooden door, opening it slowly. Her eyes widen when she finds Lumine standing on the other side of the door, cuts and bruises decorating all over her body, a bloody nose and dirty clothes.
Ayaka’s heart shatters at the sight.
“Traveler! I hadn’t expected to see you—“ She shakes her head. “No, more importantly, what’s happened to you?”
Lumine swallows, her body shaking. She seems as surprised as Ayaka to find herself there.
“It’s a long story.” She says, her lips dry. “Sorry for troubling you at this hour, I… I didn’t know where else to go.”
Ayaka holds her breath, a thousand words cluttering at the tip of her tongue, yet she manages none of them. She knows something is off – Ayaka’s always taken pride in being exceedingly good at reading others. Lumine, however, was a mystery yet to solve.
First things first, Ayaka , She tells herself, You have to clean her wounds, or else they’ll get infected .
“It’s no trouble at all!” Ayaka finds her voice, soft but firm. “Please, do come in. I’ll… I’ll show you to the washroom.”
The walk there is a silent one. The whole state is quietly drowned in the sounds of the night, and all Ayaka can hear is the sound of her footsteps, Lumine’s careful ones following her closely behind.
“ Ah . Traveler, isn’t Paimon with you, by any chance?”
“She’s here.” Lumine says, turning around and showing Paimon sleeping on the inside of Lumine’s backpack. “We had a… uh … eventful day. Paimon was exhausted, so I’ve been carrying her and letting her rest. It’s… The least I can do for her.”
“I understand.” Ayaka says. “Shall we let her rest in the guest room? Surely, a proper bed is bound to be much more comfortable than a travel backpack.”
“I think she’ll like that.” Lumine draws a small appreciative smile, and Ayaka ignores the way her heart flutters at the sight.
She dutifully guides Lumine to the guest room and watches her tuck her smaller companion to sleep, carefully wrapping the sheets so she doesn’t get cold while she rests, a testament to how much she feels for Paimon.
“Please, follow me.” Ayaka says when she’s done, and she takes Lumine to the washroom.
“The water should be running warm now. You should have everything you require to take a bath there, and— Oh , this is a clean sleeping attire for you. It’s a spare of mine, I hope you don’t mind it. Please, feel free to use anything you shall need.”
“This is more than enough.” She says, and something in Lumine’s expression changes, her gaze softens. “Thank you.”
Ayaka nods, satisfied, tufts of snow hair framing her face at the motion. “I shall take my leave now. Should you need anything, I’ll be—“
“Wait.” Lumine says, hesitates.
Ayaka stops in her tracks, tilting her head. “Is there something else you need of me?”
“Ayaka, can you…?” Lumine gives out a long sigh. She looks exhausted. “I apologize if I’m asking too much of you, but… Can you stay? Please?”
Huh?
Ayaka flushes, crimson colors blooming under the soft skin of her cheeks.
“Stay as in… here? With you?” She says, heart thumping. The heat on her face is worse than usual. She prays Lumine hasn’t noticed her blushing because god, how embarrassing would that be. “While— While you bathe ?”
“Of course, you don’t have to look. You can just sit here with your back towards me.” Lumine looks down, her throat tightens. “You can refuse if you want, I would hate to make you uncomfortable. It’s just… I’ve been through so much today, I’ve discovered secrets about this world, about me , and I fear… If I were alone, then these thoughts—“
“Alright.” Ayaka says when her voice trails off. “Traveler… No. Lumine , I’ll stay with you here until you’re done.”
Lumine nods, her eyes staring deeply into Ayaka’s blue ones, her pupils growing wider, and she draws a grateful smile.
Ayaka finds a seat on the other side of the room, trying to give Lumine privacy while at the same time upholding her promise of staying by her side.
When she hears Lumine’s clothes falling to the ground and the start of the running water, Ayaka’s cheeks feel incredibly hot.
How did I get myself in this situation? If I were to turn around, Lumine would be— Ayaka mentally slaps herself. Hold it together, Ayaka! You must protect the Traveler’s privacy and dignity with everything you’ve got! It’s most disrespectful to imagine your dearest friend, mere feet away and without wearing any—
“Ayaka?” Lumine calls her.
“Y-Yes!” Ayaka exclaims, voice high-pitched. She feels lightheaded, like she might pass out if the room keeps spinning.
“Can you tell me something?” Lumine asks, voice small. “Anything, really?”
Ah , I’ve been doing a very poor performance at distracting her mind.
“What should I talk about?”
“Can you tell me how your day was?” Lumine offers.
“ Oh . That I can do.” Ayaka smiles, happy to help her friend. “I had an important meeting this morning with several of our associates. Brother had insisted I wait to host it for when he’s back home in a couple of days’ time, though I deemed irresponsible to hold back the date any longer; for when you’re aiming to form further bonds with potential partners, you must be sure to accommodate them in any way you can, and so…”
Ayaka goes on about the importance of etiquette and maintaining a public image, straying from her initial topic of how her day was, but managing to distract Lumine’s mind nonetheless.
When Ayaka hears the water stopping, the rustling of the towel around Lumine’s body, she stops her rant.
“ Ah , my apologies. It seems I got quite too comfortable with the topic. I hope I wasn’t a bore to you.”
“Not at all. It’s always a pleasure listening to you.” Lumine says, and it sounds honest in Ayaka’s ears. “You can turn back now.”
Ayaka’s cheeks feel warm. She turns around slowly to find Lumine wearing one of Ayaka’s own bathrobes. She swallows, feels her heart shrink like it’s out of breath.
“How was it? The… The bath, I mean.”
“It was great, I feel better now. Thank you.”
Lumine watches Ayaka take one step closer to her, inspecting her face. With a familiarity that outstands her, one of her hands travels up Lumine’s cheek. It feels strange on her face though; maybe it's the heat she can feel creeping up on it, because Ayaka is really standing rather close, close enough that Lumine fancies she can count the individual specks in her friend's eyes.
Lumine doesn’t voice how her heart flutters to Ayaka’s touch.
“These cuts… You’re hurt.” What happened? Is what she doesn’t say.
“This is nothing. You should see the other guy.” Lumine draws a small smile, attempting a joke.
“This isn’t the time to be joking. Give me a moment, I shall tend to them.”
“You don’t need to worry about—“
“Please, Lumine.” Ayaka says. The urgency in her voice is palpable. “Let me take care of you.”
Lumine breathes out, blinks a couple of times. “Okay.”
Ayaka brings a first-aid kit that Thoma always keeps close by. Lumine sits down and Ayaka starts applying disinfectant on her bruises, her hands pouring warmth.
“This doesn’t hurt too badly, does it? I can be gentler if you wish.”
“I promise, I’d tell you if I was in pain.” Lumine says, moved by Ayaka’s concern, and lets her lips bloom into a quiet smile.
Ayaka cleans the wounds on Lumine’s face, her arms, even the smaller cuts on her hands. She feels her chest pained by her friend’s state. When she finishes, she stays there, holding Lumine’s fingers in her hand.
“Ayaka?” Lumine whispers when she doesn’t let go.
“You don’t need to tell me what happened, by any means. As your friend, I have the utmost respect for your privacy. But…” Lumine feels Ayaka’s grasp tightening slightly. “Please, do take care of yourself out there. I’m in no position to impose anything on you, but if something were to happen to you, I—“
Ayaka feels a hand on her hair, slowly patting her head.
“I made you worry, didn’t I?” Lumine lets out a sigh, gives her a half-smile. “I know that rushing into things will not bring me closer to the truth I’m seeking, but sometimes I can’t help but feel impatient.”
Ayaka shakes her head, insistent. “I can understand that, but if you hurt yourself badly, you won’t be able to go further on your journey.”
“That won’t happen, I promise.” Lumine says. She manages to keep her smile in place exactly where it is. “It used to be only my brother and I, for as long as I can remember. After we got here and I lost him, I only had myself to rely on. But now,” Lumine says, gently brushing Ayaka’s hair, “I have friends I can rely on, friends who want to see me alive and well, to see me succeed. That’s a new thing for me.”
“I’m not entirely sure of the perils you encounter, but… I know that I take full pride in being your friend. I have… great affection for you.” Ayaka releases in a single breath, dragging the words. “If I could trouble you so much, I would ask you to not put yourself in a position of danger.”
Lumine’s lips curl into a smile. “Don’t worry, I will get stronger still. Strong enough to not worry you anymore. Strong enough to bring my brother back.”
Ayaka smiles too, her expression softening around the edges. “And I’m certain that you will.”
After this conversation, they fall into a comfortable silence. The situation that’s brought Lumine to the Kamisato state still weighs unknown in Ayaka’s mind, but for now she’s just content to help Lumine feel at ease, she thinks as she watches Lumine struggling to brush some knots in her hair.
“Here, let me fix that.” Ayaka says, and then she is reaching up a hand, up into her hair, and Lumine has barely felt the weight of it settle before her brain starts shutting down.
“You really don’t need to. You’ve done enough for me as it is.”
“Please, this is nothing. It will only take a second.”
Ayaka starts brushing Lumine’s hair, still slightly wet. Her fingers reaching up and knotting in Lumine’s hair; she feels her heart pouring warmth. It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her right here--
Wait. What?
Ayaka banishes the thought before it even takes form, cheeks set ablaze.
“Your hair is so soft to the touch,” She clears her throat, trying to distract her raging mind. Her fingers trail up to Lumine’s locks, push them gently behind her ears, nails scratching satisfyingly against her scalp.
“Is it?” Lumine says, closes her eyes and relaxes to her touch, forgets how it felt to have the weight of the world on her shoulders in the first place.
“Yes. Perhaps it’s a bit silly of me to say, especially considering the situation we’re in, but,” Ayaka glances at Lumine, expression softening despite knowing that she can’t see her face. “I am glad you came here, of all places.”
Lumine is silent for a moment. She closes her eyes and focuses on breathing. It's easier than she thought it would be. Acute embarrassment aside, she hasn’t had her hair caressed like that ever since she was little, Ayaka’s fingers combing through her hair feels good and, well, she could use a little good with the day she's been having.
“When the battle and everything was over, I remember feeling exhausted. All that I’ve learned today, all the memories and stories I’ve uncovered… I couldn’t just go to my teapot and call it a night. Paimon passed out, but I started walking, and walking for hours. ” Lumine breathes out, Ayaka’s fingers knotting in her hair, she feels her heart throbbing lightly. It’s Ayaka . With her around, there’s always going to be light. “When I came back to my senses, I was standing at your door. I’m glad I came to you, of all places.”
Ayaka feels a bit overwhelmed by her words, her cheeks growing pink with color. She has to bite down on a sudden torrent of words threatening to burst out of her like a geyser-- I like you choosing to be with me. I like you here, period; whether you’re planning to stay or just for the night, I like it, I like you.
The words stick in her throat. Ayaka has become something of an expert at not saying what she's thinking or feeling.
“You— You must be exhausted. Please, let me know when you’ve changed into your night’s attire and I’ll escort you to the guest room.”
Then she's withdrawing her hands from Lumine’s hair and Lumine suddenly wants to grab her wrist, catch her sleeve, do something, anything, but all she does is stand and watch as Ayaka pivots on her heel, her ponytail whipping out behind her.
Lumine gets changed swiftly and Ayaka guides her to her room for the night. It’s a big chamber, modestly decorated and with a big and very comfortable-looking bed that’s making Lumine’s legs tremble. Paimon is soundly sleeping on a smaller bed beside it.
“Should you need anything, I’ll be in my room.” Ayaka bows as she’s about to leave the room.
“Ayaka.” Lumine says, holding Ayaka’s hand in the space that separates them.
“Yes?” She responds, blue eyes finding soft golden, the pink of her mouth.
Lumine swallows and says, "Nevermind. Good night, Ayaka."
Lumine doesn’t know what time it is when she wakes. Her mouth is full of the dust of tearing concrete, the metal tang of the falling steel and a scream, a scream of terror, anger, grief—
When she takes in her first breath, the faint smell of sakura petals washes away the remnants of the nightmare. A clock ticks in the corner by the windowsill. The frayed edges of the bedding scratch lightly against her skin. The room is dark, Paimon is snoring softly, and Lumine remembers she’s staying at the Kamisato estate for the night.
Slowly untangling herself from the bed sheets, she shuffles gently off the bed and ambles out of the room. She closes the door behind her as quietly as possible and turns towards the hall, lets her feet take her away to the only room that has light in the corridor.
“Lumine.”
Lumine swallows, her feet stopping just shy of the doorframe of Ayaka’s chamber. Ayaka’s eyes widen when they see her, soon relaxing into a small smile.
She’s beautiful, sitting on her bed with the night sky framed beyond her window like that— the softly swaying leaves of the trees bring something melancholy out in the sweet tinge of her smile.
Lumine steps forward and opens her mouth to say something, but stops as she catches sight of Ayaka’s eyes.
“Is something wrong?” Ayaka looks at her, rising to her feet.
“Yeah.” Nails dig into her palm before she feels warm hands grasp her trembling fists— Lumine blinks and looks up from the brown of the floor beneath their feet to the blue in Ayaka’s eyes.
“I’m your friend.” She brings Lumine’s hands up and clasps hers over them. “Should you wish to talk about it, I will be here to listen. Don’t forget that.”
Lumine unfurls her fists to hold Ayaka’s hands too, frowning as her bottom lip trembles. She opens her mouth, but closes it again before letting any grieving words through and shakes her head.
“You’ve done enough for me as it is.” She squeezes Ayaka’s hands. “I do not wish to trouble you any further.”
“Yet you came here, did you not?” Ayaka lets go of her hands and heads to her bed, sits slowly on the mattress, lightly tapping at her side. “How about you start from the beginning?”
Lumine presses her fist against her chest just above her sternum and clenches her jaw, taking a deep breath before sitting next to Ayaka in bed, turning to her.
“Okay.”
She says, and she tells her everything.
Dainsleif’s hand is on her shoulder. Strong and heavy. Cold and unusually familiar. A presence she’s learned to recognize.
She wants to sink under its weight. To shrug it off altogether.
Lumine stands and does nothing.
"You saw something, didn't you? Can you tell me what it was?" Dainsleif’s voice sounds low. In it there's a question she has to answer.
Lumine doesn't look at him. Doesn't look at Paimon. Doesn’t look at anyone. She closes her eyes. Breathes . There's only the humid air of the underground. The sulfur and ash tickle her nose. A lifetime later and she still can't avoid the ring of her brother’s voice echoing in her ears. Darting, hunting .
Her eyes ache. The pressure behind them builds and builds.
“If you cling to false hope and allow yourself to become too emotionally invested, the only way is down… You will end up just like them, mired in hypocrisy. Save your strength for something worth saving.”
Dainsleif’s saying. His voice heavy, angry, mournful and terrible to hear. It makes Lumine’s throat close; her nails bite into her palms.
Paimon closes the distance. “Traveler?”
Lumine doesn't open her eyes.
She's a coward for it. She's not the only one suffering. Aether was lost and crowned prince of the Abyss, and yet here he stood not long ago, placing this flower for her to find. They could stand together. She could bridge the gap and bring him back.
Lumine breathes, for she knows she doesn’t approve of his methods, and to bring him back means to defeat him first.
Lumine knows she’s too late when the device activates and Dainsleif doubles in pain, and though she doesn’t feel the curse flooding her veins, she still has to clench her hands into fists so she doesn't do something she'll regret.
"This is no way for them to meet their end. Find a way to stop that thing!"
Dainsleif says through gritted teeth, and Lumine hears them all in unison, one after the other— Hilichurls screaming in agony, the common people they used to be, fathers, mothers and children suffering alike; and the Abyss Lector her brother commands stands proud like this isn't one elaborate game of altruistic narcissism, like Khaenri'ah isn't but a fleeting memory on the wind they can’t possibly wish to grasp.
Lumine swallows and says, " Please ."
She doesn't recognize her own voice.
She takes out her sword and rushes to the Abyss Lector with tears in her eyes, her brother’s words dancing in her head, In focusing single-mindedly on confronting the Heavenly Principles, we neglected our original mission: the revival of the homeland .
Homeland.
What exactly is she fighting for?
“ I only hope that next time we meet, you know whose side you're on , that’s the last thing he said to me.” Lumine finishes her story. “I don't know what to think anymore.”
Ayaka’s eyes shift away, taking in the rest of the room as Lumine’s words slowly sink in. She looks and looks, and Lumine doesn't look with her. She already knows what she'll see.
“Do you feel the same way?” Ayaka asks after some time. “About your brother?”
Lumine swallows. "No. Something’s changed." She says, focusing on her fingers. "I wanted to bring him back to me, but now… I want to stop him. I don’t want him to do something he’ll regret."
She'd been looking for him ever since she woke up in this world, pacing back and forth, examining every city and alley, trying desperately to find any clue that would lead her to him. There are sides of the story she's never known. Secrets she's never been revealed to. Things that make her see her brother’s absence from a completely different angle. Everything is wrong except for the things that are right.
Fingers graze her cheek. “As long as you keep pressing on with your journey, you will find him again. You’ll have the chance to set things right.”
Lumine looks at Ayaka, mouth dry, skin prickling, Ayaka isn’t smiling, but her eyes look at her and they’re soft, soft , and she forgets, suddenly, all the sorrowful thoughts about her brother. She wonders if that makes her a terrible person.
Lips replace fingers and Lumine feels Ayaka’s pressure against her skin, warm and light. It only lasts a second. Ayaka’s breath stutters.
“My apologies, I…” Ayaka starts, cheeks blooming red.
"Ayaka." Lumine says. It's a question and an answer at the same time. Her head feels light, drunk of the air of the night.
Ayaka’s mouth closes slightly. The words die on her lips as she draws closer, or maybe it’s Lumine’s wishful thinking acting the part. Fingers slowly grasping her own and lips slightly parted. Ayaka’s mouth is so close. Lumine wants it closer still.
She leans forward, ghosting her own lips along the line of Ayaka’s jaw. Relentless, shameless. Ayaka pulls away, a thought of she doesn’t want this, she’s just following because I started it buried in her head; and Lumine thinks no ; Lumine thinks please ; Lumine thinks let me have this, please, please let me—
“Would it be silly of me,” Ayaka says, and Lumine’s surprised she can even hear her over her thumping heart flooding her ears, “to confess my affections for you now?”
Lumine draws a smile, sharp and brilliant, eyes luminous in her face, thumb over Ayaka’s cheek, brushing it slowly.
“Not in the slightest.”
Lumine thinks of shadows, and secrets, and all the time she’s spent in the dark looking for something to guide her; and when she looks at the girl in her arms, she only sees a spark; a glint of sun behind the closed curtains. She’s never seen the birth of a star, but she thinks this must be it.
So Lumine doesn’t stop herself from reaching out to brush a lock of snow hair, caressing Ayaka’s face, and ever so softly, she whispers the words. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” Ayaka says. You, you, you .
When someone wants you to kiss them, you know; and Ayaka knows exactly what she must look like, with her lips parted and her eyes tracing the line of Lumine’s lips, asking her to stay, to touch her, to--
It doesn’t even take a second. Lumine slips a hand under her jaw, tilts up her head, noses brushing in the dark; Ayaka laughs, and finds her lips with her eyes closed.