Archive of Our Own

There were as many opinions about soulmates as there were people on this planet, but the large consensus was: getting your soulmark was an important moment, but it was often underwhelming. After all, you were supposed to get the name on your left wrist during your adolescence, anywhere around sixteen to eighteen. Most people had a stranger’s name appearing on their skin, since they were supposed to meet later in life.

There were few cases when people got names of people they already knew, but they were considered to be the minority.

Rin had thought a lot about his soulmate. That wasn’t something he would ever advertise, but, if asked, he wouldn’t lie about it either. Since he was little, he dreamt up scenarios about his soulmate before going to sleep or whenever he found himself bored. Sometimes they would be a girl, sometimes a boy, but, either way, they always made his heart beat faster and his chest fill with warmth.

He had quickly learned at school that the topic was more divisive than he would have assumed. Since his parents were soulmates, he supposed everyone was looking for their other half. When the universe sets you up with someone, why wouldn’t you go along with it? Obviously nobody could be better for you than the one you were destined to!

It turned out not all kids had parents like him, and not all people believed in soulmates like he did. Some had parents that were soulmates but had divorced, or parents that weren’t soulmates at all. Not to mention the cases you always heard on the news about people killing their soulmates, or abusing them.

Still, Rin believed. Because he was a romantic, and the idea of a person destined to be all for himself was too attractive to push away. He wanted someone to love and be loved by. Someone he would fit with, that would make everything easier, someone he could have by his side and never get tired of.

Nobody knew what made the mark appear, only that it could pop up whenever. Since there was no pain or any sensation at all, most people didn’t notice until after it was done. It would figure Rin would be no exception.

As the captain of the Samezuka swimming team, he was overlooking the practice. He planned to do his own regiment after everyone was done, so for now he was watching them, yelling tips and encouragements whenever needed. Sousuke was by his side as usual. Since the last tournament, where he injured his shoulder, he was prohibited from participating in practice, but he loved to watch. And Rin’s side was always the best spot for that.

Rin’s attention was brought to Aiichirou, who was getting out of the pool. As far as Rin knew, he wasn’t done with his training. He was making his way over, so Rin was prepared to ask what was going on and reprimand him if necessary.

He was taken by surprise when, with a big smile, Aiichirou told him, “Rin-senpai! I noticed from the pool, I think you have your soulmark!”

Rin’s first reflex, even before looking, was to hide his left wrist. His heartbeat was picking up. The moment he had been waiting for was here!

Carefully, making sure nobody could see, he moved his hand to see by himself. Sure enough, there was writing in black. He hid it before he could read the name and took a deep breath to calm himself. He was shaking. This moment would change everything, he was sure of it!

He was staring at his hidden wrist, willing himself to look already, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he met Sousuke’s teal eyes. He knew what it meant for Rin, and how nervous he was about it. His confident gaze gave Rin the strength he needed to face the music.

Rin nodded at him and turned back to his wrist. Alright, moment of truth! Hiding it from his two friends, he looked at the name.

While he knew, rationally, that he would probably have an unknown name, he had spent some time thinking who it could be among his friends. If he was making sure to hide it, that was because he knew there was a good chance Sousuke’s name would be there.

It would make sense after all, wouldn’t it? They were childhood friends, and, sure, they had some rough patches, but nobody knew him better than Sousuke and vice-versa. They were at a good place now, where they could easily communicate without words, and any bad feelings between them had been dealt with already.

Not to mention that Rin had eyes. Physical compatibility wouldn’t be a problem on his end for sure.

Rin had prepared how to react in case it was him, but he wasn’t worried. Rin could wait until Sousuke would be ready if he wasn’t already, and he very much doubted his best friend would be that opposed to being with him.

He had even prepared in case it turned out to be Aiichirou, Momotarou, any other person from the team, or even that Ryugasaki kid or God forbid Nagisa. He thought he was ready for every scenario, but the name on his wrist left him speechless.

He had forgotten about the doomed possibility.

Nanase Haruka

That had to be a joke. Someone used a permanent pen and wrote that name on his wrist, there was no other way. However, as he was thinking this, he couldn’t help but recognize the handwriting. It was the same as the ‘Free!’ that had been written years ago under that tree.

Rin hid his wrist again. His vision was tunnelling and he felt light-headed. He thought he said something about needing to go to his room, but he ended up stopping in the empty locker room instead, unable to go on.

He leaned against the wall and sat down. His head thudded behind him as he looked at the ceiling. His wrist was hurting from his harsh grip, but he didn’t loosen it.

It was dizzying how much sense it made. Haru was there when he quit competitive swimming, he was there when he took it up again.

Haru. The same Haru that said he didn’t care about soulmates. The same Haru Rin had butted heads against, saying that no one could be more suited for you than your soulmate. And Haru, so deadpan, so unemotional, when he said all he needed was Makoto. If Makoto wasn’t his soulmate, then Haru didn’t care about his soulmate.

An ugly laugh came out of Rin, and it wasn’t long he was also crying. The universe was cruel, setting him up with someone that would never, ever choose him. Someone that already discarded him, even before knowing his name.

The universe was cruel, but it wasn’t wrong. Rin had been in denial about it, but he had to admit it to himself now: he was already in love with Haru.

So that was it. Not even an adult yet and Rin knew he would spend his life alone.

Rin realized he wasn’t alone when he felt an arm around his shoulders. Sousuke, of course. Rin leaned closer and cried against him. Why couldn’t he have been his soulmate? Things would have been so much easier if he was.

“So, I’m not your soulmate, huh?” Sousuke asked, his voice soft and hurt.

Rin swallowed his next sob and looked up. Sousuke’s eyes were shining with repressed tears. Rin couldn’t help the sob that got out. What could he even answer to that? Was there a way to tell your best friend the universe chose someone unavailable to you instead of the safe choice?

“It’s Nanase, isn’t it?” Even though he was asking, Sousuke seemed pretty sure already. Rin didn’t answer, back to crying against his shoulder.

They stayed that way for a while, with Sousuke comforting him. When Rin was starting to calm down, he felt Sousuke give him a small kiss on his head. He tried to push away to see his friend’s face, but Sousuke kept him where he was with a firm grip.

“There’s no way I could convince you to ignore that, is there?” Rin hated hearing his best friend sounding resigned, even if he wasn’t wrong.

“I’m already in love with him,” Rin confessed, his voice broken with tears. There was no going back, not for him.

“And I’m already in love with you,” Sousuke confessed in turn. He finally let go enough for Rin to sit back and look him in the eyes. Amidst the unshed tears, Rin could tell he wasn’t lying.

“I’m so sorry,” Rin said with a hiccup. “I can’t, I’m not...”

“I know,” Sousuke simply said.

Rin bit his lower lip. He didn’t know what to say. How could a simple name on his wrist mess everything up? He had looked forwards to this all his life and here he was, crying his heart out and hurting his best friend at the same time.

Unexpectedly, Sousuke smiled at him. “It’s okay, Rin. We’ll stay best friends no matter what, right?”

Rin tried to smile, but he could tell it wasn’t pretty. “Of course,” he answered, because he couldn’t picture a life where Sousuke wasn’t his friend anymore.

Sousuke patted his head, like he was trying too hard to make a friendly gesture instead of a romantic one. Then he stood up and told him he would go back to practice to make sure the team wasn’t slacking off. He knew Rin was in no state to go back there tonight.

Rin didn’t notice the walk to his room, only that he was in bed, under the covers. All he could think about was Sousuke’s sad face, and when he tried to think about something else, Haru would pop up instead.

What would he do? What could he do? Was there anything to do?

Should he tell Haru? Wouldn’t he find out anyway when his name would appear on his wrist? Maybe they could get through this without ever mentioning it. They could both pretend Rin wasn’t heartbroken and Haru wasn’t doing nothing about it and go on about their days.

When Sousuke came back, it was like no time and an eternity had passed. Rin didn’t get up to greet his friend, but Sousuke walked towards him anyway and threw something on top of him with a subdued ‘Here!’.

Rin sat up to see what it was and picked up the wristband. It was black and red, and Rin stared at it stupidly, unable to process what he was supposed to do with it.

“I figured you wouldn’t want people knowing about it,” Sousuke explained, already looking away. “You can wear it in the pool too, I made sure of that.”

Sousuke could read his mind better than he could, huh. Rin squeezed the piece of fabric in his hands before putting it on. It fit perfectly, and Rin didn’t have to see the name anymore.

“Thank you,” he whispered, before laying back down again. Sousuke moved about the room for a moment, before settling on the bed over his. They had been silent for a while when he finally answered, “You’re welcome, Rin.”

Predictably, Rin stayed awake the entire night, trying to think about what to do from now on. Ignore it? Fess up to Haru? Which was better?

He thought about it throughout school and practice. Aiichirou was sending him worried glances, but he wasn’t asking questions. Probably Sousuke’s intervention again. As for Sousuke, he was acting like normal, but he was avoiding eye contact. He was working very hard on making everything casual, even if it wasn’t. And he knew the charade would be up as soon as their eyes met.

It took Rin a week to decide that he couldn’t live like that. He had to tell Haru, if only so he would finally stop thinking about it and start thinking about something else.

Rin requested a day off practice and, after school, he made his way to the Iwatobi high school. He could have called or texted Haru about his arrival, but that would mean no going back and he wanted to keep a way out just in case.

He saw the boys in the pool from afar, his sister and their teacher outside of it. Rin would interrupt their practice. Maybe he should wait?

Just as he was about to do so, Gou spotted him and waved at him with a big smile. Rin always loved seeing his sister smile, but today it only made his insides churn even more. What was he doing here? About to disrupt their practice and make a fool of himself?

He shook his head and walked towards the locker room before he could change his mind. They were all waiting for him with big smiles when he walked out, except for Haru who looked as unresponsive as always. To be fair to him, Haru’s emotions showed in his eyes, and Rin could tell he was happy to see him.

Seeing Haru in the flesh, now that he knew about his feelings, made Rin blush and his heart beat faster. By reflex, his right hand touched the armband on his left wrist. This wouldn’t be easy.

They all welcomed him cheerfully and Rin tried to be casual, but since it was pretty clear he couldn’t, he cut straight to the point, “Haru! I need to talk to you in private!”

Before he could answer, Rin turned around and walked to the locker room. He knew the team would probably listen through the door, and if not, Haru would tell them the truth after anyway. But if he could feel them looking at him – especially Makoto –, Rin would never be able to confess.

“Rin? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Haru asked. Rin was acting really weird if even Haru mentioned it.

“Haru, I...” Rin started to say, before swallowing and starting over. “We’ve always argued about soulmates, haven’t we?” Rin recalled almost fondly. He wasn’t looking at Haru, but he was wondering if he would be able to guess before he would say it out loud.

“You just wouldn’t listen to any of my arguments and you were always stubborn about wanting to be ‘free’. Free to choose Makoto whatever the universe told you. And you know, I always assumed you and Makoto would be soulmates, that’s what would make sense, right? And you would grumble about not being free, but you would be happy about it in the end and I could gloat about being right. That was what was supposed to happen, but it looks like you were right, Haru. Soulmates are a fucking joke!”

Because he couldn’t take it anymore, Rin removed his armband and showed his wrist. His eyes were stinging with tears. “You’re my soulmate. And we both know you won’t choose me, so, congrats. I hope it makes you happy to have beaten the universe!”

Rin was getting crass, and he knew it, but couldn’t help it. Better get mad at Haru than fall down on his knees and beg, right?

“Rin...” Haru tried to say, but he sounded lost for words. Rin could guess what he was feeling. He felt the same way with Sousuke.

“Don’t tell me I can find my own Makoto, because I can’t. Sousuke...” Rin sighed. His heart felt so heavy, and his head too. “I’ve always been in love with you, nobody’s gonna change that now.”

Rin wiped his face, but new tears fell down over it. He put the wristband back on his arm, about to turn around and leave, when a sound startled him. The door to the pool was opened, and Makoto was standing there. Rin was too surprised to react when he sprinted to him and took him in his arms.

For one second, Rin was tempted to push him away. Makoto was the one stealing Haru away, why should he be the one to comfort him? But Rin remembered Makoto was also a dear friend of his, he gave good hugs and Rin was in desperate need of that.

So, as surreal as it was, Rin cried in Makoto’s arms, while Makoto was telling him he was sorry.

When Rin felt okay, he pushed back gently and looked up at Makoto first, then Haru. As predicted, they both looked sad. Rin smiled sadly and said, “Hey, don’t apologize for loving each other, it’s a good thing! I didn’t come here expecting anything, I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Rin-chan!!” That voice was so easy to recognize, and sure enough, it wasn’t long a tear-eyed Nagisa was jumping to hug him too. That made Rin chuckle as he was the one to comfort his kouhai. Then his sister joined the hug, bringing Rei along. Rin laughed while they were trying to cheer him up.

At least Rin had good friends. He may never get his soulmate, but he would live through it, as long as he could count on all of them.

-xxx-

Haru was looking at his bare wrist. There was no name there yet, but now he knew which one would appear.

He supposed, in a way, it made sense. Rin was his rival, one of his dearest friend, and their lives had always been intertwined, even when Rin was far away. For everything concerning swimming, Rin was the one Haru always had in mind.

In fact, if it wasn’t for Makoto...

Haru sighed. He could never predict this would happen. He was always so sure his soulmate would either be Makoto or some stranger he wouldn’t spare a thought about. But Rin... he had a lot of thoughts about Rin.

He should have been the one to hug him, right? It would have been the right thing to do. Probably. Or maybe it would have made it worst? How could Haru know, he had no experience in this!

Either way, he had been too frozen to react, with either a hug or words.

Even now, he could barely believe it. Rin was his soulmate. It was weird, how fitting it was, and yet, Haru chose Makoto. He had chosen Makoto when he was five years old, and he had made that choice everyday since. Makoto always chose him too, and even if he was sad for his potential soulmate, he was on the same page as him.

Haru couldn’t picture a life without Makoto. He had lived for years with Rin away, missing him, sure, but he had lived. Without Makoto, however... how could he even go on?

And yet...

Haru closed his fist. His choice was made, so there was no point thinking about it further. He chose Makoto, and Rin knew about that, and that was that.

“Haru-chan?” Judging by Makoto’s tone, that wasn’t the first time he called him. Haru snapped out of his mood, lowered both hands on his lap and looked up. Makoto’s kind eyes were filled with worry.

“Makoto,” Haru answered, not even sure himself where he was going with that. They were both pretending to do their homework, but they had barely gotten anything done. Haru sighed again. What good was all this worry if they ended up making the same choice anyway?

Haru got up, walked around the table and settled down besides his boyfriend. Makoto was looking at him without words. Haru worked himself in his arms like he was used to. This was comfortable, and perfect, and exactly all Haru needed.

Makoto made a surprised sound when Haru kissed him, but it wasn’t long he was kissing back, with all his usual tenderness. Nothing had changed. Haru chose Makoto and who was his soulmate didn’t matter. He couldn’t let it matter, not when there was Makoto.

They were both smiling when Haru pulled back. Whatever worry had been in Makoto’s eyes was gone now. Haru revelled in the love he could read in his pupils. Their couple was as strong as ever, they loved each other more than anything else and everything would turn out alright.

Haru was repeating those words in his head, when he was alone in bed, trying to fall asleep. He was still trying to convince himself when he woke up, groggy from a lack of sleep, and started to get prepared for his day. He was cooking his usual mackerel when Makoto walked inside and greeted him with a kiss on his head.

Everything was good and happy and perfect, right?

Except that it wasn’t. That quickly became clear. Makoto was fidgeting and avoiding eye contact. He was jumpy, and when he was like that, Haru knew that meant he was keeping something from him. Makoto was a bad liar, but even more so when it was Haru he was trying to keep things from.

The walk to school was painfully awkward. Makoto kept acting out of character, bringing up weird topics, and overall being suspicious as all hell. Haru asked once if he was okay, but Makoto assured him he was alright.

During class, that morning, Haru barely heard a word. Normally he would be thinking about swimming, but now he was caught in a bad spiral of thoughts. Makoto’s ‘secret’ had to be about Rin being his soulmate. The timing was too close, no way it was a coincidence.

Haru had a bad feeling in his stomach. A very bad feeling. And all his conflicting emotions about Rin certainly didn’t help.

For lunch, they went to the roof with the team. Soon, it would be too cold, but for now it was the perfect temperature. Haru was trying to follow Nagisa, Rei and Gou’s conversation, but he couldn’t help paying more attention to Makoto. He wasn’t talking, he wasn’t listening, and he wasn’t eating either. His head low, he was sighing from time to time, deeply lost in thoughts.

Haru wanted to cheer him up, but he didn’t know how to do that. Makoto was the one who cheered people up. Haru had no idea how to even begin.

One thing he could do, he supposed, was to touch him. Haru knew Makoto’s touch always grounded him, so surely the reverse would be true?

However, as soon as Haru put a hand on his arm, Makoto startled and moved away. Haru was speechless. Did Makoto just... recoil from his touch?

Haru opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but nothing came out. He closed it again and swallowed painfully, but no words were coming. Makoto sighed one last time and told him, “Haru, there’s something I need to tell you.”

A sentence like that never announced anything good. Haru swallowed again and nodded. He noticed the group had gone silent. It made Haru wonder why Makoto chose this moment to confess, instead of when they would be alone together.

“I’ve been lying to you,” Makoto admitted softly, looking away. Haru’s breath stuttered. Makoto wasn’t able to lie to him. Haru always saw whenever Makoto was trying to keep something from him. That was impossible.

Another sigh. “When I said I was okay with not being soulmates, I was lying.” Makoto took a deep breath, while Haru tried to register his words. Even if they made no sense. “I was so sure... Haru, I was convinced we would be soulmates. It never even crossed my mind that we... because there was no way, right? We spent every day together since we were five years old. If the universe made any sense, we would be soulmates. That’s why I... I never thought it would be a problem!”

Haru closed his eyes for a second and opened them up again, but he was still sitting in the same place, besides a Makoto that refused to look at him. A Makoto that he was sure he knew inside out, but here he was explaining things that couldn’t be.

“And, and I tried to think about it yesterday. I spent all night thinking about it, for the first time in my life I thought for real about what I wanted to do if we weren’t soulmates. And, Haru, if your soulmate was a stranger, maybe, maybe I could convince myself I was fine with it, but it’s Rin!”

Haru jumped at the mention of their friend’s name. His soulmate. Rin was his soulmate. Haru was still trying to digest that news, and here Makoto was piling on top of it!

“I thought about it,” Makoto repeated, his voice wrecked. Even without looking at him, Haru could tell his eyes were filled with tears. “And it makes sense. It makes so much sense! You two push each other to be better. I may be the one who understands you better, Haru, but I can’t pull you forwards the way Rin does. You’re stagnating when you’re with me.”

“Shut up,” Haru whispered, so low Makoto didn’t hear him. He was hitting all the right notes and if he didn’t stop soon, Haru didn’t know what he would do.

“You saw him!” Makoto insisted. He was definitely crying now. “He’s devastated! I can’t... Haru, I can’t be responsible for that!”

“Shut up!” Haru repeated, this time loud enough to be heard. The silence was deafening. Haru could barely think. He didn’t know what to say, only that he should say something. So he spouted the first thought that entered his mind.

“What do you want?” Haru sought Makoto’s eyes. His childhood friend looked away as soon as Haru managed to find them.

Makoto let out a chuckle, an ugly sound that tried but failed to be light. “I have a soulmate waiting for me too.”

Haru realized with a start that he, too, was a filthy liar. Because the idea of Makoto’s name on any other wrist but his own made him want to throw up. Makoto was his. His name should be on Haru’s skin.

“You can’t...” Haru insisted, but all of his strength left him. He didn’t even know how to finish that sentence. You can’t leave me? You can’t have a soulmate that’s not me? How selfish was that?

“Of course I want to stay friends!” Makoto added, as if that was any consolation. Haru had no idea how to be friends with Makoto. How could Haru look at Makoto with anything but adoration and devotion? How could he be near him and not be able to touch him like he wanted?

“I don’t,” Haru said firmly. Makoto gasped. For the first time since the beginning of this conversation, their eyes properly met.

“Haru,” Makoto pleaded, with his eyes as well as with his words. But Haru was bullheaded, and as much as he was confused right now, this was the one thing he would never compromise about. He needed all of Makoto. Not the tiny scraps he was offering.

“Haru-chan,” Makoto tried one last time, bringing up the nostalgic nickname in the hopes of pacifying him. It didn’t work.

Haru looked down at his lunch. He had barely eaten three bites. He closed it up all the same, stood up and ran away, ignoring his friends’ pleas to stay.

-xxx-

That was for the best, right? Makoto was trying to convince himself, but it didn’t make the pain any easier.

It was an impossible situation, and Makoto hated that. No matter the scenario, someone ended up suffering, and there was nothing he could do about it. With a lot of reflection, he had decided he should be the one suffering, because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he made Rin miserable or kept Haru from living the best life he could.

He had hoped to keep Haru’s friendship, but even that was denied to him.

It was for the best. Haru would get over him, with enough time, and he would realize Makoto was right. He would go look for Rin and they would end up together and they would both be happy. That was the best case scenario. Makoto couldn’t hope for a better ending.

As for Makoto himself, he would meet his soulmate eventually, and hopefully they would make this sacrifice worth it.

Makoto was walking home all alone for the first time in... ever. Haru had skipped training, which was also a first. Haru had never before missed a chance to be in the school’s pool.

His throat was hurting, and he doubted he would be able to talk. Even so, he soldiered on, making his way home. He bent down to pet the usual cat before his house, as if he hadn’t just walked past Haru’s home without stopping.

He managed to be somewhat fine before dinner, playing with Ren and Ran while his mom was cooking. The twins always proved to be a nice diversion.

It was during dinner that all hell went loose. Everyone was conversing happily around him. Makoto was trying to follow the conversations, but all he had in mind was Haru. And Rin.

“Don’t forget to bring a change of clothes this time,” his mom reminded him, making Makoto startle. With everything going on, he had completely forgotten it was Friday. It had become a habit over the years for Makoto to go spend the night with Haru after dinner with his family.

That would stop. Because Haru wasn’t his soulmate.

The realization hit him like a slap to the face. Suddenly it was too real, too tangible, too undeniable. Haru wasn’t his soulmate, and Makoto had decided he wouldn’t stand in the way of his soul link, which meant he had lost Haru for good.

Instead of answering his mother, or explaining the situation, Makoto started crying. Real, ugly, big fat tears and uncontrollable sobs. He could barely breath, every inspiration hurt and his chest burned.

His mother quickly came to comfort him, pulling him against her chest and petting his hair. In any other circumstances, Makoto would be embarrassed but immensely content to be back in the safety of his mother’s arms. But he was hit too hard by his heartbreak to feel anything else.

He didn’t know how long he cried, but when he managed to stop sobbing so hard, his mom gave him tissues. He cleaned his face as best he could. He needed to tell his mom what was wrong, before breaking down into tears again.

“Sweetie, what happened? Did you two have a fight?”

If only. They had fought in the past, not often but enough times to know how to deal with it. And it never made Makoto cry, because he knew they would manage to get back together. They were unbreakable, or so he always thought.

“Haru’s not my soulmate,” Makoto managed to say, the words burning his tongue as he let them out. It couldn’t be real. Reality couldn’t be that cruel with him.

His mother was silent a moment, before she asked tentatively, “Didn’t you two decide you would stay together no matter what? Your father and I aren’t soulmates and we’re very happy together!”

Makoto sighed. In their cases, it had been pretty easy. His father’s soulmate died when he was eighteen years old, after they barely got to know each other for a couple months. That had to be traumatic, but he always insisted meeting Makoto’s mom made the pain more bearable.

As for her mom, she had met her soulmate once, when Makoto was a little baby. He also had a family of his own, so it was on a common accord that they decided to never explore their soul link. She didn’t seem to regret that decision, but Makoto knew she would never tell him if she did.

“Haru’s soulmate is Rin...” Makoto let out, his voice choking on his friend’s name. His mother gasped, before squeezing him tighter in a hug.

“Oh, you poor sweet thing, I’m so sorry Haru chose him! That must hurt so much!”

Makoto closed his eyes. She wasn’t getting it, and he was so tired, his throat was so tight. He managed to swallow painfully and he explained, if only so she wouldn’t start badmouthing his best friend, the love of his life, his not-soulmate, “I broke up with him.”

His mother stilled. Her voice was incredulous when she asked, “Why?”

For some reason, the fact that she had to ask angered him. He stood up, moving brusquely out of his mother’s embrace. His fists balled up, he almost screamed at her, “I can’t do that to Rin!”

His mother looked stupefied that he raised his voice. That calmed him down enough to explain, a lot softer, “Rin’s in love with Haru. I can’t... Mom, I can’t stay with Haru when I know Rin’s in so much pain! It’s too much, I can’t be responsible for that, Rin’s waited for his soulmate all his life and I can’t... I can’t...”

Makoto was breathing harder, as if oxygen was getting rarer. He wasn’t crying, but his heart was beating loudly in his ears. If he wasn’t so preoccupied by the situation, he might have wondered if he was getting sick.

“Did you ask Haru what he wants?” His mother challenged. From her point of view, Makoto’s actions must appear wrong, but she didn’t understand.

“He’s gonna get over it,” Makoto affirmed. “And he’s going to love Rin back, it only makes sense, that’s the only thing that... because, because he already has some feelings for him! Without me in the picture, it’s sure they’ll be together and happy and that’s all that matters!”

The world was turning. Makoto closed his eyes, hoping it might make him feel better, but when he opened them again, he was only feeling more nauseous. And there was still not enough air!

“Makoto, sweetie, that’s not something you can just decide for him. And what about what you want? Maybe you should talk to him before taking that decision.”

She sounded so reasonable. And it made sense, too. Even Rin himself told him he was okay with it. It wasn’t like he was waiting on Haru to change his mind.

All of his force left him suddenly. He didn’t answer and walked to his room, falling in his bed on autopilot. What was he doing? Was this really the better scenario?

He closed his eyes and thought once more. He thought about Haru and when Haru decided they would be together forever. Of course it was Haru that claimed him, Makoto would never have dared. They knew each other for barely a month when Haru took his hand and told him, with all of his usual seriousness, that Makoto would be his soulmate.

It didn’t work like that, Makoto tried to argue, you couldn’t decide who was your soulmate. A name would appear on your wrist and then you would know. But Haru was stubborn, and he insisted, with all the confidence of a naive five years old, that they could influence the universe if they started to act like soulmates right away.

Makoto didn’t argue, because that never worked with Haru. They became closer and closer over the years, always closer than friends should be, until Haru was one day kissing him and telling people they were boyfriends. Makoto didn’t argue. What would be the point when Haru was giving him exactly what he wanted?

Ten years of this, and Haru had managed to convince Makoto they could beat fate. Makoto had clung to the words of a five years old for all those years, even when Haru changed his mind and started to say it didn’t matter if they were soulmates or not.

Ten years, and all of it meant nothing now.

Makoto felt betrayed. Haru was the one to cling to him, the one who made him think for a whole ass ten years they would be soulmates, only to show up with a different soulmate. And not anyone, either, but Rin. Rin.

Makoto could never hurt Rin like that. Never. But wasn’t he hurting Haru just as bad, by breaking up with him?

The weekend brought no answer to Makoto’s impossible problem and it was soon time to go to school again. Makoto left early, jogging passed Haru’s house to make sure he wouldn’t be tempted to go look inside. He didn’t stop to pet any cats.

He sat down at his desk way earlier than usual. He zoned out completely, not really thinking, his mind in a fog of Haru and Rin and soulmates. When he snapped out of it, class had already begun.

Morning went by like a blur, during which Makoto tried his best to be a good student. When lunch started, he stayed frozen at his desk, wondering what to do. He had other friends than the swimming club, but he had gotten so used to eat with them that he didn’t know what to do.

That made another problem pop up. If Haru didn’t want to stay friend with him, what about the club? Would one of them quit? If so, who? It had to be Makoto, didn’t it? Haru was their best swimmer... But Makoto was captain, he couldn’t let go of the team like that! Not to mention that they needed to be four to keep the club going!

And what about lunches? Would the rest of the team take a side? Oh God, they would pick Haru’s side, wouldn’t they? Makoto was the one who broke up with him. Did that mean he lost all of his friends?

As if on cue, Makoto heard someone call him and looked up. Rei was walking inside the classroom, a bento in his hand, an awkward smile lighting up his face. “Makoto-senpai, should we go eat outside?”

“O-of course,” Makoto answered, off-kilter. He got out his bento and followed his kouhai without asking further questions. He did notice they weren’t heading for the roof, though.

They ended up in the courtyard, beneath a tree. Rei sat down as if everything was normal and Makoto did the same. He didn’t ask where Nagisa and Gou were. He was afraid of the answer.

They stayed silent for a couple minutes. Rei was eating, but Makoto was staring at his lunch. He wasn’t hungry. He had barely eaten anything since the moment Rin came to confess to Haru.

“Nagisa-kun, Gou-san and I had a talk.” Rei revealed at last, making Makoto jump. He looked up. Rei’s expression was determined, which was a good change compared to his previous awkwardness.

“We decided not to take sides,” Rei added, his eyes burning with sincerity and the desire to help. Even through the fog of confusion and sadness, Makoto felt a little bit warmer about that. It was good to have friends that cared. “We’ll take turns for lunch and we’ll go with whatever you want for practice. If you want to talk, we’ll always be ready to listen! Me or Nagisa-kun or Gou-san, we’re all ears!”

That... that brought a tear to Makoto’s eyes. He looked away to make sure it wouldn’t fall and answered, “Thank you, Rei. That means a lot.”

They resumed eating in silence, but the tension was gone. Makoto even managed to swallow about half of his lunch. He was wondering how it was going with Haru. Nagisa and Gou probably decided to double-team him because of his stubbornness and his inability to talk about his feelings. That almost made him laugh. Try to pry Haru open and he clamps up worse than a clam.

“Rei, am I doing the right thing?” Makoto asked without thinking.

Rei sighed loudly before answering. “Makoto-senpai, if I’m honest, I really want to say no. It’s painful to see you two like that, especially since you’ve always been so close. I also don’t think, logically, that soulmates are the be-all end-all. Humans are far too complex and beautiful to be summed up by a mysterious link like that.”

He marked an obvious pause, and Makoto looked down in shame. Here he was, hurting his friends too. Were his doubts founded, and should he go back to Haru and make up?

“But that’s my opinion,” Rei added, his voice softer. “And as much as I think it would be more beautiful if you and Haruka-senpai stayed together, that’s not something for me to decide. You should do what feels more right to you. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least hear what Haruka-senpai has to say about this.”

Makoto sighed again. “If I talk with Haru, he’ll convince me. And I don’t know...”

“Makoto-senpai,” Rei interrupted. “I’m sorry, I’m probably over-stepping a lot, but I have to ask. Why do you care so much about hurting Rin-san?”

Because it’s Rin, Makoto almost answered. It was so obvious in his head, it explained itself. Makoto couldn’t be hurting Rin. He just couldn’t.

“Haruka-senpai is the one you’re in love with, isn’t he? Why aren’t you thinking about his feelings first?”

“I’m thinking about both of their feelings,” Makoto insisted, because that was the truth, it had to be the truth, that was the solution he had come up with, wasn’t it? Rin and Haru happy together while he stayed alone! It worked out for everyone!

“Are you sure about that?” Rei insisted, but he sounded resigned.

“I am,” Makoto answered, even if he wasn’t.

-xxx-

Aiichirou was again the one to point it out. “Yamazaki-senpai, did you also get your soulmark?”

They were eating lunch this time. Rin paused mid-bite and raised his eyebrows at his best friend. Sousuke, besides him, chuckled and brought a hand to his wrist as a reflex. It was covered by a black and green band. It was the same design as the one Rin was wearing, he noted, but in a different colour.

Stranger, though, was that Rin didn’t notice it until now. Sure, he was depressed since he found his soulmate, but they were sleeping in the same room and spent all their time together! How did he miss that?

“Nah,” Sousuke answered, his tone falsely cheerful. His expression got sombre when he added, “I don’t want to know.”

“Are you planning on wearing it all the time?” Aiichirou insisted.

“Probably not in the shower!” Sousuke didn’t answer, joking instead, as he was so fond of.

“Sousuke,” Rin started to say, trying to find something comforting to offer him, but his friend sent him a quick glare. Right. Sousuke was trying to get over him. Nothing he could say would help.

“Soulmates are complicated sometimes, aren’t they?” Aiichirou wondered. Rin completely agreed. The world would be so much easier if it wasn’t for this.

Then again, as much as it pained him, Rin couldn’t help but love the name on his wrist. Sure, he would never experience Haru’s love, but at least he would always have a piece of him on his skin. That wasn’t something Rin would ever resent. Fate, the universe, sure, but not the soulmark itself.

“Hopefully I’ll get a stranger’s name,” their kouhai added wistfully.

“For me, as long as it’s a cute girl, I’ll be happy!” Momotarou jumped in the conversation, with all of his usual tact. Coming closer to Aiichirou, he put an arm on his shoulder and added, “But I really hope it’ll be Gou-san!”

Rin shivered at the possibility of his sister getting younger or older Mikoshiba brothers’ name on her wrist.

“Momotarou, can you stop? You’re putting all your weight on me again!” Poor Aiichirou, left to deal with his over excited kouhai. Rin would feel sorry for him, except that he didn’t seem to mind as much as he let on.

The rest of the day went on as usual. Every so often, Rin would absent-mindedly scratch at his wristband, before catching himself and stopping. It didn’t tingle in the least, the fabric was in fact very comfortable, but Rin couldn’t stop fidgeting with it. Feeling it on his skin made him hyper aware of what was underneath.

If asked, he wouldn’t say he was fine. It would be a huge ass time before he felt anywhere near fine, but at least he wasn’t in denial. Even if it hurt, he had accepted the situation and could move on at some point, hopefully.

After all, there was no way he could separate the perfect ultimate sweetheart couple. He couldn’t do that to Haru, and certainly not to Makoto either.

Rin wondered how Makoto was taking the news. Knowing Haru, he was probably sad about it, but he would get over it. But Makoto was too selfless sometimes, and Rin sure hoped he wouldn’t get some strange ideas in his head...

It was a couple days later, when he was checking his phone one last time before bed, that he received a text from his sister. She very often sent him any memes she found slightly funny, especially at this hour of the night. Rin didn’t always understand them and he never sent some of his own either, but he was always happy nonetheless to hear from his sister.

Sometimes, she would tell him about her life, how she was doing. She would let him know any news about the swimming club, before he ever had to ask. She loved to snap pictures during the days and send them to Rin. The photographed subjects were never aware of being captured and it made for some really nice pictures.

Or she would send pictures of herself, of course. Rin’s home page wallpaper was always one of his sister’s selfie (he would leave the lock screen on some basic design because that was embarrassing).

Rin was anticipating something like that, so he was taken by surprise when Gou asked him if she could call him. She liked to call him sometimes, or he would call her, but never at this hour, and Gou certainly wouldn’t ask permission. That worried Rin. Was she alright? This spelled disaster in bright neon lights.

He stood up from the bed and walked outside the room as to not disturb Sousuke, who was already in bed. Thank God it wasn’t lights out yet. He power-walked to the common room, sat down on a couch and called his sister.

She answered after one ring, as if she had been looking at her phone, waiting on him. “Onii-chan?”

“Gou, are you alright?”

“Oh? Ah, hm, yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” She insisted, but her voice sounded off.

“What’s going on?”

“Well...” She sighed, and Rin brought the phone closer to his ear, as if he could be closer to her that way. “I’ve been wondering whether to tell you, because it kind of but at the same time doesn’t concern you, and I don’t know if you should do something or not, but I don’t know what to do anymore and I thought you would want me to tell you, you know, with my voice and not over text.”

“Gou, what is it?” Rin pressed, because the tension was killing him.

“Makoto-senpai broke up with Haruka-senpai.”

Rin was speechless for a second. Then his voice got loud when he asked, “WHAT?”

“It’s complicated,” Gou explained sheepishly, “but basically he wants Haruka-senpai to, eum, go be with you, because you’re soulmates. But it’s been a couple weeks and Haruka-senpai doesn’t seem to want to go talk with you and Makoto-senpai isn’t budging either, so, I don’t know what to do... At this rate you’ll all end up alone.”

“Wait-wait-wait,” Rin insisted, because she wasn’t making any sense. “Makoto broke up with Haru? Because we’re soulmates?”

“Yes,” was the simple answer. Rin was angry. No, no, scratch that, Rin was furious. How dare he make that kind of idiotic, moronic, selfless, dumb martyr decision!

“Makoto, you idiot! I already said I was fine with you two dating!”

“Hey, say that to him, not me,” Gou suggested, which, come to think of it!

“Good idea! Thanks Gou, I’ll go knock some sense into him!”

She let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Onii-chan. I’m so sorry to ask you, but Makoto-senpai isn’t listening to anyone else and I think it has to come from you.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem! Good night, Gou, talk to you later!”

She told him goodbye and Rin stayed where he was after he hung up, looking at his phone’s screen. He didn’t think that was a conversation he could have by phone, and it was too late by now to go out. He would have to wait until the next day to go see Makoto.

He made his way to his room again and laid back down into bed. He was so angry. What unnecessary kindness! Did Makoto even realize in what kind of position that put him? Haru wasn’t the type to roll over and do as asked. He would stubbornly refuse to be with Rin, because if he couldn’t have Makoto, he wouldn’t have anyone else. How dense was Makoto to think for one second that this could end in anything but disaster?

Haru and Makoto were together since forever ago, and it wasn’t some name on Rin’s wrist that could change that. Too bad that it was now Rin’s job of all people to go remind Makoto of that.

Rin was fuming through the day. He didn’t want to miss practice again, and anyway he wanted to talk to Makoto alone. So he was glaring at everyone, even his teammates. The only one that seemed unperturbed was Sousuke, but that was considering he was never quite meeting his eyes. Even Aiichirou walked on eggshells around him.

When practice finished, Rin heaved out a heavy sigh and got changed as quickly as he could. He ran all the way to the train, taping his foot in frustration when he had to wait inside it.

It seemed to take forever, but he was finally walking up to Makoto’s house. He avoided looking at Haru’s place and hurried up until he was in front of the door. He took one deep breath to calm down his anger and rang the bell.

Makoto’s mother was the one who answered. She looked surprised to see him there, but there was a tentative smile on her lips. “Rin-kun? What are you doing here so late?”

“Good evening, Tachibana-san. Can I speak with Makoto?” Even if he was seething with rage, Rin remembered his good manner.

Her smile turned more genuine and she invited him to come inside, but he politely refused. That unsettled her, but she quickly recovered and called her son to come down.

Makoto’s expression was intrigued right until the moment their eyes met. The curiosity changed to panic and Rin could tell he was that close to turning back around. Rin was ready to run inside and force him outside if he had to, but thankfully Makoto seemed to find his resolve (or resignation).

He stepped in front of him, offered him an awkward smile and asked, “H-hey Rin, how are you?”

Rin clicked his tongue and answered, “Yeah, I’m not doing that. Put on your shoes!”

Makoto stayed where he was, confused, so Rin repeated his order and he finally complied. As soon as he was done, Rin grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside. Thank God Rin remembered where to go.

Makoto asked a couple times where they were going, but he got silent after a while. Even if he was clearly keeping up and not running away, Rin kept his hand on him. He wasn’t so much dragging him as guiding him now, but he didn’t want to let go until they were at their destination.

Speaking of, they reached the park Rin had been going for. He spotted the bench he used to go to, when he was younger, and only stopped when they were in front of it. He didn’t sit down, however. Instead he released his friend, turned to face him and let the simmering anger take over.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Makoto jumped and made himself smaller. He tried to call his name, but Rin was having none of this.

“Seriously, how dumb can you be? Shit, Makoto, I know you always let other people have everything you want, but this is too freaking much! Why don’t you for once in your fucking life act selfish?”

Rin stopped to breath. He was already panting and he was barely started.

There was a tense silence, before Makoto said, his voice a lot lower than Rin’s, “I’m not selfless.”

“Ha?” Rin asked in disbelief.

“I’m selfish,” Makoto insisted, his fists closing up and his voice louder. “I’m always selfish. I want everyone to be happy! That’s what I want, Rin!”

“I don’t get it.” Rin sighed, and sat down on the bench. His anger was starting to leave him, and tiredness was settling in instead. “How’s that selfish exactly?”

Makoto sat besides him, not close enough to touch. “Do you even know why I broke up with Haru?”

Rin looked towards Makoto, but he was staring far away and fiddling with his shirt.

“Because we’re soulmates?”

“Because I can’t be the one hurting you,” Makoto revealed in a soft voice. Rin tried to read his expression, but he was looking at the sky and avoiding letting anything show on his face.

“You’re not...” Rin tried to say, because that was even more ridiculous than he first thought.

“I can’t,” Makoto insisted, now looking at the ground. “If me being with Haru makes you miserable, then I can’t be with him. A-and I know he could be happy with you too, so that’s why...”

Rin let out a sigh. “Makoto, do you really think Haru’ll come to me?”

That made Makoto chuckle. At least he wasn’t completely delusional. “Not right away, but give him some time, maybe a couple years, and he’ll understand. I know you won’t look elsewhere anyway, so just wait for him to come around.”

“That’s dumb,” Rin declared, laying back and smiling to himself. At least Makoto knew how unreasonable he was being.

“Everyone’s saying it’s a bad idea,” Makoto supplied, making Rin laugh. Glad to know everyone was on his side. “I’ve been wondering if I’m wrong too, but, the thing is, it doesn’t matter. I’m saying all this to justify it, but the real hard ugly truth is, I can’t do it if Haru’s not my soulmate.”

Rin looked back to his friend. He was looking at his feet, moving them to some unknown rhythm.

“You know that you’re hurting me a lot more by refusing to be with Haru, right?” Even if the words were harsh, Rin was saying them gently. All anger was gone and he was seeing his friend for who he was, a dumb teenager that didn’t know what to do with himself.

Makoto let his head fall in his hand instead of answering, and Rin looked up to the stars. He had thought he was done with all the teenager angst after dealing with Sousuke’s injury, but it seemed like there was still a lot left in store for him.

They stayed like that in silence for a long time. Rin was wondering if anything could ever change Makoto’s mind when he unexpectedly spoke up. “Can I see it?”

Rin, startled by the unexpected sound, looked at his side. Makoto was looking up at him, pleading mixed with eagerness. It took a second for Rin to understand. “You’re talking about my soulmark?”

Makoto nodded. For some reason, it never crossed Rin’s mind that Makoto might want to see, but it wasn’t surprising. He had wanted that mark for his whole life after all.

Instead of answering, Rin silently removed his wristband and let it fall on the seat besides him. Makoto moved closer, until their thighs met. When Rin moved his wrist to bring it closer, Makoto took it in both hands.

Rin was looking at Makoto’s face while he was examining. He didn’t look jealous, or mad, or even sad. He was smiling and his eyes were filled with awe, as if his childhood best friend’s signature was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

Then his thumb ran over the name multiple times, with reverence. Rin couldn’t suppress a shiver. The insignificant movement seemed strangely intimate, in the darkness of the night, with their bodies pressed close together.

Makoto’s thumb stopped right in the middle of the name and he left it right there, a constant pressure impossible to ignore. Then he looked up, and they were suddenly a lot closer than Rin had previously thought. Their noses were almost touching.

Makoto looked as surprised as he was to be there, but he wasn’t moving away. Rin wasn’t either. It was like time had stopped and they were frozen.

Rin couldn’t help it when his eyes glanced downwards. Makoto licked his lips at the same moment Rin’s eyes landed on them. As if hypnotized, Rin did the same and looked up into Makoto’s eyes again.

They leaned in at the same time, but Makoto was the one to breach the final distance and put his lips on his. For one second, Rin kept his eyes opened and didn’t move. He wasn’t taken by surprise, exactly, but the unexpected intimacy of the moment delayed his reaction.

He closed his eyes and opened his mouth at the same time, leaning into Makoto as if they were already used to kissing one another. They found the right angle to be comfortable and kiss deeper. Makoto was gentle but insistent, and Rin spared a thought to remember that while this was his first kiss, Makoto had a lot of practice before.

Makoto kept one hand on his wrist, the one with the thumb pressing on Haru’s name, and brought the other to Rin’s neck. His fingers sank into Rin’s hair as his thumb was brushing his cheekbone, making him sigh in the kiss.

Rin had never, not even once, thought about kissing Makoto. Why would he have? He was obviously taken, and Rin was in love with Haru anyway, so it would never happen. Makoto was so far from available that his mind never even considered him as a potential soulmate, or someone to fantasize about when he was bored.

But here he was, nonetheless, and even if there was a lot of potential for jealousy and anger between them, Rin felt none of it. The kiss felt easy, like coming home after a long and tiring day. It was full of tenderness and the kind of love that only comes after having been with someone for a long time.

It made no sense, some parts of Rin knew, but, in that particular moment, he was convinced Makoto was his soulmate.

They broke up after a while to catch their breath. Rin could feel Makoto exhale on his lips, and it made him crave more. He was about to lean back in again when he looked one last time into Makoto’s eyes.

That completely broke the spell. They both quickly scrambled away from each other, looking on the other side. Rin’s heart was beating fast, a lot faster than it was mere instants ago, and his face was starting to become as red as his hair.

He could barely believe what just happened. No, scratch that, he couldn’t believe what just happened. What was wrong with him? He came to lecture Makoto about leaving Haru and here he was kissing him! What kind of hypocritical asshole was he?

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me!” For a second, Rin thought he had spoken aloud, but no, that was Makoto seeking forgiveness. That made him look back. Makoto was blushing too, eyes wide, a hand covering his lips, as if he couldn’t believe what just happened. Their gazes met again and both stood up, taking a step in the other direction.

Rin picked up his wristband and put it on. That had to be the fault of his soulmark. They both thought about Haru and that was why... But no, Rin didn’t think about Haru. He had kissed Makoto willingly, and somewhere deep down inside he wanted to do it again.

Rin cleared his throat – he still had Makoto’s taste on his tongue oh God – and awkwardly insisted, “A-anyway, Makoto, you should go apologize to Haru and make up with him. If you don’t, I’ll come back!”

And kiss you again.

Rin shook his head. No, not going there, nope. With that, and not even one good-bye, Rin left the park.

On the way home, he couldn’t help touching his lips from time to time, half shocked and half wistful. Of all people who could have taken his first kiss, he would never in a million years have guessed Makoto!

-xxx-

Haru was bored.

Bored out of his mind, enough that he spent hours in his bath each night, looking at the ceiling, thinking about nothing, letting insane thoughts come and go in his head. For example, right now, he was thinking about getting out of the bath, getting dressed, going to Makoto’s house, barging in his room and kissing him until Makoto changed his mind.

Yeah, insane thoughts.

Instead he submerged all of his body under the cool water, looking up through it. Water was simple, he only had to follow where it lead him. Nothing could hurt him as long as he was in its sweet embrace.

He got out and took a deep breath. He always had to get out at some point. He couldn’t spend his entire life in water, as much as he might want to.

Haru wondered what he did before meeting Makoto, but remembered he was five at the time. Anything could be fun when you were five years old. And anyone could be your best friend if you wanted them to.

Haru wondered if he was a bad person. He still remembered how he tried to convince Makoto they could be soulmates if they tried hard enough. He was too young to know better, but he assumed Makoto understood he didn’t really mean it like that. It wasn’t that he was convinced they could influence the universe, necessarily, but with time he had come to believe they could be soulmates, no matter what their wrists said.

They could choose to be soulmates. He should have made it clearer.

Another trip under water and Haru wondered again. That was considered old-fashioned nowadays, but some people still clung to the idea of your soulmate being your one true love meaning you shouldn’t date before knowing who they were.

Haru had done his research, though, and he knew a lot of scientists doubted that. In fact, as far as they knew, there was no proof the name appearing on your wrist was that of your soulmate. Better yet, there was no proof it meant you had to be in a romantic relationship with that person.

Humans were the ones who decided they were soulmarks, and maybe, with enough belief and placebo effect, they had effectively influenced the whole population into thinking they meant something completely different. After all, not all soulmates were compatible, romantically or sexually. Not all soulmates ended up together, and not all soulmates were good for one another. Not to mention those whose soulmate died before they could meet. What good was your supposedly other half if you never get to be with them?

Dating before your soulmark meant that you could end up with someone else than your soulmate, but was that such a bad thing? Haru and Makoto were far from the first making that same ‘mistake’. If it even was a mistake.

Oh, oxygen again. Haru came up once more, gulping in as much air as he could. Then he made some waves with his hands and played in the water like a bored five years old.

Practices were hard. They had decided, on a common but unmentioned accord, to continue training as usual. While Haru spent his time looking wistfully at his ex boyfriend, Makoto was doing everything in his power to never have him in his field of view. That was painful for everyone.

The other members were overly cheerful to compensate. When one of them was close to or said something insensitive, the others were there to brush it off and change topics. They were all trying so hard, but it didn’t change the fact that it was exhausting, and not because of their physical efforts.

They all took turns to speak and eat lunch with Makoto and Haru. They were adamant on saying they wanted to remain neutral, that they would support them no matter what, but even for Haru, who could be dense sometimes, it was pretty easy to guess what they were aiming for. Subtlety was none of their forte.

He wasn’t mad about it, though, because they wanted what he wanted: for Makoto to be selfish for once in his life and choose him.

But when Haru was in his cold bath, at night, shivering and looking far far away, he was wondering if he was the one being too selfish.

Haru was always the one to make the first move between them. He had been the one to ask Makoto to be his soulmate, when they were five, and ever since, each step they took was lead by him. He always thought that was how they worked better. Haru could be selfish, because Makoto wasn’t, and he knew Makoto enough to give him what he wanted. Or, at least, he always believed so.

Now that he was thinking about it, though, he had to wonder if he ever forced himself on Makoto. If Haru had misread him somewhere along the way and Makoto had been too shy or selfless to stop him.

Haru shook his head. He hated to think like that. He hated to think, full stop, and would much prefer swimming for the rest of his life. At least water was easy, and Haru never had to question his relationship with it.

Maybe water could be his soulmate.

That pulled a small smile out of him. It was an enticing notion, sure, but Haru wasn’t delusional. Even forgetting that water wasn’t human, soulmarks were reciprocated. If you were someone’s soulmate, then they were yours, and that was it.

Another one of his insane thoughts that came and went, even more insane than the rest, was the impulse to say fuck this and go kiss Rin stupid. That was what Makoto wanted, wasn’t it? Haru kind of also wanted to do that, deep down, so it wouldn’t exactly be difficult.

The bad thing in all of this was the fact that when you chose something, it meant not choosing the other. Did Haru really have to choose between the two most important person in his life? Why did this turn out to be a choice at all?

Haru finally got out of his bath. He was so cold. He dried himself and dressed up in loose clothes. Then, he moved to his bed, got under the blanket, and shivered until his body managed to heat up by itself.

He was mostly warmed up and his eyes were used to the darkness when he moved his eyes to his wrist. More than once, during the past weeks, he had passing thoughts of cutting himself there so no words would appear. He never did it, mostly because he knew that would change nothing. He didn’t want to worry people for nothing.

Each night, he was wondering when Rin’s name would finally appear there.

In fact, he was wondering about exactly that when it happened. He barely saw one black line forming and quickly moved to hide his wrist in the pillow. His heart was beating like crazy. Why was he getting nervous? He knew exactly what name would appear there!

That didn’t change anything, he was properly terrified. That would be the last moment he could delude himself into thinking another name would appear. Once he saw Rin’s name, he could never go back. It was stupid, but he wanted to cling to the false hope it would be Makoto for a little while longer.

He stayed unmoving for the longest time, his pulse resonating in his ear. He wanted Makoto to be there. He needed Makoto to help him deal with the fact that he wouldn’t get his name...

Haru closed his eyes, drew a deep breath and moved his wrist. He could do this. He knew what he was in for. That would change nothing, the situation would stay exactly the same, and Haru could go back to moping about it as soon as he was done looking.

He dared one eye opened, then the other.

Tachibana Makoto

Haru blinked. Was that a joke? He sat up and looked around, as if he was expecting to see cameras and someone telling him this was a prank. But he was of course all alone, in the darkness of his room.

He rubbed his eyes and looked again, but the mark didn’t change. Against all odds, Makoto’s name was tattooed on his skin!

Now that the shock was slowly leaving him, relief took its place. Haru had no freaking idea how this could happen, but Makoto was his soulmate! That meant Makoto had no more excuses to push him away!

He stood up way too quickly, but managed to find his way to the door nonetheless. More stable on his feet, and with but one thing in mind, he walked to the front door. He put on the closest shoes he could find and ran up towards Makoto’s house, a smile on his face.

Haru didn’t ring the bell because of the late hour. Instead, he used the spare key he was given some time ago and entered the silent house. He opened the door to Makoto’s room and closed it behind him. He stop there for one second, realizing the enormity of what he was doing. Sneaking up on his ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. That was some crazy stalker behaviour!

However, he had gone too far to turn back now, and he supposed Makoto would forgive him once he saw the good news. His heart beating fast, Haru made his way to the bed, where Makoto was indeed fast asleep.

“Makoto?” He called in a whisper, hoping not to startle him. When he didn’t wake up, Haru put a hand on his shoulder, above the blanket. Makoto was facing away, so unless he moved, Haru wouldn’t know if he was awake.

Makoto turned around. He didn’t look too concerned – Haru knew for a fact that his siblings sometimes came to him for nightmares. He mumbled something Haru didn’t catch before freezing. Then he quickly sat up and asked, “Haru-chan?”

He always used the cute nickname when he was half asleep. After spending so long without hearing his name out of his mouth, hearing it now healed something inside him. Not to mention that it was insanely cute.

“Makoto,” Haru answered with a smile. There were so many things he could say, but he decided to show him his wrist instead. It would speak for itself. Makoto, confused, stared at the naked wrist for a long moment, until it clicked.

He moved to open the bedside lamp and, taking Haru’s wrist in his hands, he let out once again Haru’s nickname. Haru saw his eyes filling with tears as he read his own name on Haru’s skin.

Then Makoto looked up into his eyes. There were too many emotions to name them all, but one thing became clear in Haru’s mind: Makoto was his once more.

Makoto used his grip to bring him closer, and Haru followed with a plan of his own. He climbed on the bed, under the blanket, and close the light.

There was no need for words that night. They spent a long time kissing, and Makoto looked at his wrist from time to time, as if to convince himself this was real. Haru could hardly believe it. After all the heartache of the past few weeks, they were finally together again, and Makoto was his soulmate!

Haru had spent his life saying it wouldn’t matter what name would appear on his wrist, but that night, he sent a thank you prayer to whoever or whatever was responsible for soulmarks.

-xxx-

When Makoto woke up, the first thing he saw was Haru’s face. That had happened so much in the past that it didn’t startle him. Instead, he closed his eyes again and leaned closer.

He was slowly piecing his thoughts together, in the comfort of the bed, with his childhood sweetheart in his arms. He would have been tempted to think what happened was a dream, but Haru’s presence besides him was proof that it wasn’t.

During the night, he had been too shocked, too ecstatic, too sleepy to think more than how much he loved Haru and how his name suited his wrist. Now, however, he was starting to realize how odd it was.

Haru was the one who did a lot of research on soulmates, but he share all his finds with Makoto. And they had never heard about a soul link not being reciprocated.

What did that mean for Rin?

That made Makoto open his eyes again, and he carefully moved to take Haru’s wrist. He tried to be as gentle as possible, but he couldn’t help waking up Haru up. With a sorry smile, he apologized and told him he wanted to see his soulmark again. Haru’s face lightened up and he moved his arm the rest of the way so Makoto could see.

There was no mistake, it was indeed his name written there. Makoto allowed himself a couple seconds of pure awe before he frowned and wondered, “How’s that possible?”

“Dunno,” Haru answered, his voice heavy with sleep. “Love you Makoto,” he added, his eyes barely opened anymore. Makoto chuckled. He had missed hearing those lovely words. Haru was so cute when he was half asleep. Makoto could barely contain all the love he felt for his soulmate.

It didn’t take long for Haru to fall back asleep. Makoto looked at his adorable squishy face for a moment, allowing himself some respite.

Then he looked back to his boyfriend’s wrist. Seeing it caused a pang of joy each time, and Makoto wasn’t sure he would ever get used to it. Come to think of it, seeing Haru’s name on Rin’s wrist had caused the exact same reaction.

Rin. Oh God.

Even if a couple days had passed since, Makoto still couldn’t believe he had kissed him. It was never planned, and he never even thought he wanted to, but it had felt so right in the moment. Feeling Haru’s name under his thumb made him think that was okay, that was the thing to do, even if it wasn’t.

And Haru had no idea. Makoto had told him to go be with Rin and instead he had gone and smooched him himself! What was wrong with him?

Makoto was panicking when Haru woke up once more, at the same time as the alarm. Haru was the one to pick Makoto’s phone and close it. Then he sat up with a yawn and gave the phone to him.

Makoto kept staring at Haru while he stood up. He was so gorgeous, especially in the morning, it was unfair. Makoto longed to bring him back to the bed and have his way with him.

Haru looked back, his eyes shining with mirth. Oh no, he had totally read his mind. But because he was a tease, and because they had school, and they were also in Makoto’s house, where his siblings could enter any moment, Haru told him, “I’m going home to change, see you there, Makoto.”

He left the room before Makoto could say anything. Sitting in his bed, Makoto stayed frozen for a moment. He was still trying to digest everything that happened since last night.

Haru was his soulmate. This was a big moment! Everything he ever wanted! And yet, what was this weight on his heart?

He managed to get up and do his usual morning routine. He petted the cat outside. Then, for the first time in what seemed forever, he stepped inside Haru’s home.

He looked at his boyfriend eating his usual breakfast with a smile. They didn’t say anything, but there was no need to. Makoto knew he should apologize, explain, but that could come later.

They arrived to school together and were welcomed by their friends. They all looked relieved to see them together, and that quickly changed into excitement when Haru showed them his wrist. There was an effusion of congratulations and happy noises. Makoto couldn’t help smiling.

They had to go to class, sadly, so they couldn’t talk much about it. Morning classes were long, but at least Makoto wasn’t as depressed as he had been lately and could better listen.

Since it had become chilly outside, they were eating in the cafeteria. They were all seated and conversing happily when Nagisa was the one to point out, “But Rin-chan has Haru-chan’s name, how is that possible?”

They all thought about it for a moment, until Rei added, “I thought soulmarks were always reciprocated?” He was stating the obvious, but his tone was filled with doubt.

“Did you tell Onii-chan?” Gou asked.

“Not yet,” Haru answered for them both. “It happened during the night, I sneaked into Makoto’s room to show him.”

Makoto blushed. During the night, Makoto didn’t question it in the face of far more important news, but now he was realizing that might have been a weird thing to do. Especially since they weren’t supposed to be together at the time. He didn’t mind, exactly, but it was embarrassing.

“So you two are back together, right?” Nagisa was looking straight at Makoto. He was smiling, but Makoto didn’t miss the threat hidden underneath his tone.

He was the one to answer, “Yeah, we are.”

Haru looked to him with a smile and Makoto couldn’t help giving him a kiss. Yeah, they were back together.

Makoto still had a lot of things to work through, and there were some things they needed to discuss about Rin, but for now he was happy to be with Haru again.

The other three teenagers cheered, which was as embarrassing as it was a relief.

“I wonder who has my brother’s name...” Gou let out after a while. She was frowning in thoughts as well as in concern.

“Maybe no one?” Nagisa suggested, with all of his usual levity.

“Nagisa-kun, you can’t say something like that!” Rei insisted, but Nagisa’s eyes shined with some new theory he couldn’t help but share.

“What if, for example, the population was an uneven number? Like when we’re trying to form teams in my class, and there’s always someone left alone, because we’re 29 instead of 30?”

“So Rin would be the last one nobody picked,” Haru nodded along.

“Poor Onii-chan!”

“If the population was an uneven number, then as soon as someone was born, that would change. So that doesn’t work,” Rei explained. Makoto sighed. They were only teenagers, how the hell were they supposed to know?

“Do you have a better idea, then?” Nagisa challenged, fire in his eyes.

Rei seemed to give it some thought, before he said, “What if Haruka-senpai is Rin’s soulmate, but Rin is someone else’s soulmate?”

“But that wouldn’t work,” Makoto denied out loud. Everyone turned to him, so he explained, “Let’s say, hypothetically, Rei had Rin’s name. Then who would have Rei’s name? It would never end.”

They all looked at each other, completely lost.

“What if Onii-chan’s soulmate was someone else with the same name? It could even be a girl for all we know!” Gou seemed happy with her hypotheses, but Makoto knew she was wrong.

He was about to say so when Haru explained, “It was my handwriting, no doubt about it.”

On second thoughts, Makoto was glad Haru was the one to say it. That way, he didn’t have to explain how he knew what Rin’s soulmark looked like.

Poor Gou looked dejected, even more so since she had found a more hopeful explanation for her brother.

“Do I have two soulmates?” Haru wondered out loud. They all looked at him in shock.

“Two soulmates?” Rei repeated. “That’s impossible, Haruka-senpai.”

“Is it really?” Haru challenged, and everyone was silent for a moment. Soulmarks were a mysterious phenomenon, even with all the research devoted to it, and nobody at this table was an expert. It was assumed soul links were always between two people, but what if there were exceptions?

Makoto glanced at his wrist. For the first time, he genuinely wondered what name he would get. Would it make sense if he had Haru’s name too? How would that work? Would they go on like this, or would Haru, what, date them both? Was that allowed?

“I wonder what will be your soulmark, Makoto-senpai,” Rei asked, as if he had read his mind.

“Me too,” Makoto breathed out, barely loud enough to be heard.

That particular conversation ended there and they moved on to other topics, but Makoto couldn’t help his mind straying back to it from time to time. He felt like they had been so close to another answer, but what was it? What was he not seeing?

The rest of the day passed that way, until it was time for Makoto and Haru to go home together. Because it was special and Makoto had missed him like crazy, he took Haru’s hand in his all the way home, and followed him inside his place.

Makoto alerted his family via text to where he was and they cooked dinner together. It was calming, to find back this easy chemistry between them. They really were as unbreakable as he had assumed.

While they were eating, Makoto chatted up about his family and all Haru had missed these past few weeks. It wasn’t much, but it got them going during the whole meal.

They cleaned up in a peaceful silent, and when they were done, Haru looked at him in question. Makoto supposed it was time to be completely honest with him. He led Haru to the living room and they sat down on the couch.

Makoto stayed silent for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Haru-chan.”

Haru didn’t say a word, waiting for more, so Makoto followed up with, “I’ve been selfish and I made everyone sad and I...”

“Selfish?” Haru cut in, his voice betraying his shock. “That wasn’t selfish, you were trying to make everyone happy.”

“I know you think you’re selfish and I’m not,” Makoto insisted, looking down. “But that’s not true. I’m more selfish than you. I needed to make Rin happy because I couldn’t live with myself otherwise. That’s selfish.”

“Makoto...” Haru tried to say, but Makoto quickly added, “And you too, of course, I want both of you to be happy, more than anything else.”

“Aren’t you jealous?” Haru asked, startling him. Makoto glanced at his boyfriend. He looked genuinely curious to know.

“I’m jealous Rin has your soulmark, yes,” Makoto said, although that didn’t sound honest.

“If I said I wanted to be with Rin, would you be jealous?” Haru insisted. There was no accusation in his voice, this wasn’t a test. He sounded awed if anything.

Makoto closed his mouth and pictured it. Rin and Haru laughing together, getting closer, kissing... why was there no anger coming? All he felt was longing.

That’s when it finally clicked.

“I’m in love with Rin,” Makoto admitted. While he was shocked at his own admission, Haru wasn’t the least bit surprised. Makoto understood why when their eyes met.

Haru felt the same.

Was it relief, or the ridiculousness of the situation finally getting to him? Either way, Makoto couldn’t help laughing out loud. All this time, and Makoto never figured out the simplest solution to this problem!

“We have to tell him.” Makoto looked back at Haru, took hold of his shoulders and told him, “We need to date, the three of us!”

Haru was smiling. “Yeah, we do.”

-xxx-

Rin was glaring at his phone.

He had learned, the night before and thanks to his little sister, that Makoto and Haru had made up. She had sent him a picture of them talking together, practically on each other’s laps. Makoto was smiling softly at his boyfriend while Haru’s eyes were shining with love.

It was a cute picture. Rin had spent hours staring at it.

And now, right now, he had a new text from Makoto, of all people. He was inviting him next Friday night to go have dinner and a sleepover at Haru’s place. Only the three of them, he specified.

Rin reached for his phone, stopped himself, sighed, finally took it in his hand only to put it back down. He fidgeted with his pen instead, taping it on his desk. He was supposed to be studying, but Makoto’s pending invitation made that impossible.

“Did your phone kill a dog or something?” Sousuke asked him. Rin turned around in surprise. Sousuke was lounging in Rin’s bed with a magazine – something about fitness, he could guess.

“Not exactly,” Rin answered. He didn’t tell Sousuke the news yesterday, heck, he barely talked about anything concerning his soulmate with him. It felt weird, and intrusive. Rin felt bad enough as it was rebutting his advances, so talking about his romantic problems with him seemed a bit too much.

But if Rin was ever to talk to someone about it, that would be Sousuke, because Rin trusted his advice more than most of anyone else he knew. Also, it was less embarrassing revealing his heart to him, considering all Sousuke knew and accepted already.

Sousuke closed his magazine loudly and sat up straighter. “Alright, I was waiting for you to ‘fess up already, but you’re too slow so, what’s up?”

Rin sighed. “Makoto’s dumb is what’s up.”

Sousuke offered him a curious look, so Rin manned up and confessed everything to him, including the kiss. Sousuke let him finish before saying anything.

When it became clear Rin was done, Sousuke scratched his head and said, “Look, maybe I’m biased here, but to me it looks like Tachibana’s in love with you.”

“What?” Rin deadpanned. He didn’t even know how to react to that. Had Sousuke ever seen Makoto with Haru? If he was in love with someone, it had to be him, no doubt.

“Rin, you know it’s possible to love more than one person, right?” Sousuke was talking to him like he was a little kid. He could be so condescending when he wanted to!

“What do you mean?” Rin replied, because he wasn’t sure where Sousuke was going with this.

Sousuke sighed out loud and said, “Thank God you’re pretty!”

That sounded like a back-handed compliment, but before Rin could get mad, Sousuke finally explained, “Tachibana’s in love with you and Nanase. At the same time. Or so I think.”

Oh. Oh.

Okay, yes, that made a lot more sense. Rin could feel himself blush. He looked down, wondering what was wrong with people falling in love with him. Was he that good of a catch?

Rin glanced at his phone. Was Makoto really in love with him? What about Rin? Sure, kissing Makoto had felt good, amazing, but did he...

God, his face was burning now. He turned back around so Sousuke wouldn’t stare at him so much. Instead he re-read the text. Makoto wanted him to spend the night at Haru’s place. Where they would be alone, the three of them. Was he reading too much into this?

Sousuke had gotten up at some point, because he dropped a hand on his shoulder and told him, “Don’t be surprised if they ask you to join their relationship is all I’m saying.”

Before Rin could start to react to that, Sousuke tapped his shoulder once and walked outside the room. Rin watched him go and let himself wonder for a second if he was as fine as he let on.

Then he shook his head and thought about the bomb Sousuke had dropped on him. Was this really the plan? How would that work? Would they take turns or, or...

Rin’s face was so hot he dropped it in his hands, hoping to cool it down a bit. Makoto and Haru’s relationship had always appeared perfect and complete from the outside. Could Rin even manage to make his way in between them?

Wasn’t that what he did, so many years ago, when they first met? Pushing himself in between them, until they were always the three of them together. Wasn’t that what he always wanted, deep down? To have a part of what Makoto and Haru shared?

He thought he had to find someone else to get that, but maybe, if he was lucky, maybe he could find what he was looking for exactly where he had been looking all along.

Rin opened his phone and quickly answered that he would be there. Makoto sent back an emoji, the one with heart eyes, and replied that he couldn’t wait to see him.

To spend a night away from the dorm, Rin had to ask for an exception. It wasn’t as difficult as it sounded, but it involved getting his parents’ approval, which meant that of course Gou learned all about it. She called him the next day to chat excitedly with him and Rin tried very hard not to let on what he really felt and thought.

Gou thought Makoto was making an apology gesture by inviting him. She had no idea of the other hypotheses Rin had in mind.

The day before the dinner, Rin stared at the nice picture of Makoto and Haru again, trying to picture himself somewhere in it. Laid back against Makoto’s comfortable body, with an excited Haru almost on his laps. That... it almost felt sacrilegious.

Rin was trying to stay calm. Not tip his cards. If Makoto and Haru were really just apologizing to him, he would take it. He wouldn’t ask for more, he wasn’t waiting for more, Sousuke could be wrong and Rin wouldn’t let his hope get the best of him.

He repeated all that like a mantra on the way to Haru’s house. He stopped in front of the door, inhaled deeply, and finally rang.

It didn’t take long at all. Makoto was the one to open, a smile gracing his lips. He was still wearing his school uniform, but there was an apron on top of it. It was a normal apron, but it looked very cute on Makoto’s figure. It made him look like a stay at home dad.

Rin walked in and tried his best not to start blushing right away. Makoto explained they were still preparing everything but he could wait in the dining room.

After removing his shoes and putting his bag down, he easily made his way to the table. From the looks of it, they would be eating a hot pot. Rin was already salivating. That wasn’t something he could eat in a dorm, and it was the perfect dish for the cold weather.

Makoto was the one who brought the pot while Haru brought other ingredients. Rin asked if he could help, but they both insisted they got it.

Soon it was time to eat and Rin didn’t hesitate one second. It tasted so good, it reminded him of home. They both looked relieved when he told them as much, and Makoto was the one to explain he thought this wouldn’t be something he could eat often, so he wanted to indulge him.

They all ate with gusto. Of course Haru had to put mackerel in the pot. Rin didn’t eat any, concentrating on the meat and vegetables.

The discussion stayed light during the meal. They laughed at silly jokes, remembered dumb stuff from the past, and overall had a good time. Rin felt warm and content, with these two, like he was a kid again looking for partners in a relay.

“Haaa, I’m stuffed,” Rin exclaimed when they were done.

“That was the plan,” Makoto answered with a chuckle.

“Mackerel is good in a hot pot,” Haru asserted, as if that was a new development.

“One day you’ll be responsible for the extinction of the mackerel species,” Rin exclaimed, way too happy to tease his friend. “What will you eat, then?”

“I’ll buy a pool and I’ll put mackerels in there before that happens, and then when I need to eat I can go fish.”

Makoto and Rin laughed together at his crazy idea, before Makoto asked, “You would buy a pool and you wouldn’t even swim in it?”

Haru considered this again, before coming to a conclusion. “I could swim with the mackerels.”

“Of course you would,” Makoto sighed, while Rin was laughing off his rockers. Only Haru to come up with that kind of logic.

Rin helped with the clean up, despite Haru and Makoto insisting he didn’t need to. When they were done, they moved to the living room. Makoto and Haru hurried to take the first seats, leaving Rin the middle place. Between them. They never left any space between them if they could help it.

Rin sat down as his heartbeat was picking up. With the good food, he had forgotten what might happen. They were in a good position for it to happen now.

“Rin,” Makoto caught his attention, making him jump. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Rin insisted, uncomfortable. “You two had to deal with a lot of my crap in the past, so let’s call it even.”

Makoto nodded, and there was a silence. Rin swallowed. It was tense, but not the bad kind of tension.

Haru moved closer to him, and Rin turned towards him. His eyes were burning with determination. Rin was opening his mouth to ask what he was doing, but Haru used that to his advantage to kiss him.

He had moved so fast that Rin fell backwards. Makoto was quick to catch him, though, and he didn’t seem ready to let go any time soon. Haru had followed the movement and some more, plastering his body against Rin’s, his tongue seeking his with insistence.

If Makoto kissed with tenderness and persistence, Haru kissed with passion and hunger. Rin gripped his back, because he didn’t know what else to do with his hands, and let Haru, his soulmate, take everything he wanted.

Rin was light-headed when Haru let him go. He was panting while Haru moved to kiss his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck. He couldn’t help a moan when he felt a hand in his hair, Makoto’s hand, pulling with just the right strength and in the right direction to reach his mouth with his own.

Rin moaned one more time and Makoto swallowed it. They both seemed more than happy to wreck him and Rin wasn’t going to stop them. If there ever was a paradise, Rin had reached it.

When Makoto let go, Haru also stopped sucking on his throat (would that leave a hickey? Rin hoped it would), and they all took deep breaths. They were strangely comfortable, all piled on top of each other like that, and Rin closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the peace.

Haru nuzzled against him and admitted, “I love you Rin.” Before he could think of an answer, Makoto kissed his temple and confessed, “I love you too.”

“You two are a menace,” Rin said, making them both chuckle. Then he moved a hand to pet Haru’s hair. It was as silky as it looked. He also moved to give Makoto a kiss where he could reach, on his jaw, and he finally confessed, “But yeah, I suppose I love you too.”

Makoto offered him his most beautiful smile and Rin wondered how he never realized before just how precious he was to him. Was he so caught up in loving Haru he forgot to think about Makoto?

They stayed as they were for a while, kissing whenever they felt like it. Then, after a while, Haru sat up straighter to show him his wrist. Rin knew, Gou had told him, but it was still something of a shock to see Makoto’s name on his skin.

He brought his fingers to touch it. It belonged there. He was sure of it now. As much as Haru’s name belonged on his wrist, Makoto’s had to be on Haru. It made no sense otherwise, no matter that it didn’t exactly made sense as it was.

“Not that long ago, I would have been so jealous,” Rin exhaled. Then he smiled. “Thank God I got over that.”

“How are you so fine with this?” Haru asked, despite being the one who jumped on him without so much as a warning.

“Kissing Makoto last week helped,” Rin laughed. When Haru’s face stayed blank, Rin stopped laughing and turned towards Makoto, who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Damn, Makoto, you didn’t tell him?”

“I forgot!” Makoto exclaimed. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Haru, I was supposed to tell you but then we were talking about inviting Rin and I completely forgot.”

Haru leaned back a bit and asked, “You two kissed last week?”

“I came to give Makoto a piece of my mind and tell him he was stupid for breaking up with you. I told him to go back with you, but then Makoto wanted to see my soulmark and one thing led to another and we were kissing.” What a dull explanation, but the worst was that was exactly what happened. If there was a way to kiss someone on accident, that was what they did.

“You...” Haru started to say, stopped himself and started again, “You two kissed before you even realize you loved each other?”

Oh. Well, when said like that. Rin exchanged a look with Makoto. Maybe Rin was a bit dense too.

“We did realize,” Makoto said. “Just, later.”

There was a silence, then Haru relaxed against him and chuckled. That made Rin smile too. Maybe they were all idiots after all, but that was okay, as long as they could finally be together.

The next day, they invited the rest of the Iwatobi team to tell them the news. Gou was surprised, but ultimately happy. Nagisa and Rei didn’t even try to look shocked.

“I always knew I was the third wheel!” Nagisa exclaimed happily. “Or I guess fourth wheel?”

“Nagisa-kun told me about his guess and it made a lot of sense,” Rei admitted. He replaced his glasses with his left hand and Rin caught a glimpse of his wrist. There was black ink there, he was sure of it.

“Rei, did you get your soulmark?”

He jumped and made a guilty face, before blushing too. No matter what he said now, everyone could tell Rin had hit bullseye. Before he could try and explain what was going on, Nagisa took hold of his sleeve and pulled it down, revealing the name.

Hazuki Nagisa

Then, with a ‘tee-hee’, Nagisa revealed his own wrist, where Rei’s name was.

It took a second for everyone to react, but then it was a cacophony of questions, while Rei was chiding an unrepentant Nagisa. Rin sent a telepathic ‘good luck’ Rei’s way.

“Alright, alright, calm down children!” Nagisa intoned, making everyone shut up. “Rei-chan was trying to woe me since the moment we met...”

“Don’t you mean yourself?” Rei interrupted.

“Well anyway,” Nagisa went on as if nothing happened. “We were getting closer and closer, forever locked in a will-they won’t-they scenario, when, miracle! Not only did we get our soulmarks at the same time, we were actually spending time together when it happened. The rest, as we say, is history.”

“We planned on telling you,” Rei admitted, looking red in the cheeks, “but with everything going on we thought it would be better to wait.”

“How long have you been keeping this secret?” Makoto was the one to ask.

“Um, three weeks? Right, Rei-chan?”

Rei nodded, now blushing like crazy.

“That’s why you were suddenly wearing wristbands!” Gou exclaimed, making the others groan in understanding.

Now that the questions were answered, they all congratulate them. Now that Rin was looking closer, they did seem happy together. He sure hoped it would work out for them.

Rin spared a look at his sister. She was the last one left, now. More than anything, he wished she wouldn’t get a name that would cause her pain, whatever the reason. But if she did, he would make sure to be there for her the way she had been for him.

When Rin made it back to his dorm room, he didn’t need to explain anything. Sousuke took one look at him and congratulated him with what looked like a real smile. He even met his eyes head on for the first time since Rin turned him down. That felt very nice. Perhaps they could all get out of this fine.

The next time he met up with his boyfriends was on Makoto’s birthday, November 17th. They met at Haru’s house, had a nice dinner together and Haru and Rin gave him their gifts. Makoto was leaning to cut his cake when Haru suddenly said, “Makoto, your soulmark!”

Makoto dropped the knife (thankfully on the table) and quickly looked. From his point of view, Rin couldn’t see. Makoto looked shocked for a second, before he started laughing. He was laughing so hard he couldn’t explain anything, so instead he clearly showed them his wrist. Rin immediately understood why and couldn’t help chuckling himself.

Matsuoka Rin

Of course Makoto ended up with his name, and of freaking course he was the last one to have his. Because nothing could be simple between those three.

“Now everything makes sense,” Makoto said in wonder when he calmed down.

“We would have been spared weeks of agony if that was the first soulmark to appear,” Haru remarked.

“I’m sure we would have found other ways to torture ourselves,” Rin denied with a smile, earning himself a tap from Haru.

Makoto was looking in wonders at his mark. Rin moved his chair closer and asked, “Lemme see?”

He offered his wrist readily, exactly like Rin had not so long ago. He grabbed the wrist and touched the letters of his own name. He was happy Makoto was the one who received his name. It was fitting, considering he was the one who insisted so much on not hurting him.

Rin gave it a small kiss, making Makoto shiver. “I-if you go on like that, we won’t be eating cake anytime soon,” Makoto warned.

“I don’t mind,” Rin answered with a smirk. After all, the only sweets Rin enjoyed were Makoto’s and Haru’s kisses.